Golfers by Lewis Black

Hillarious roast on golfers from his album anticipation

[@Iregretmostofmyposts]

"35 yards...RIGHT INTO THE FUCKIN WOODS" I've listened to this a hundred times over the last decade. That gets me every time.

[@blank_stare_productions]

I am a landscaper at a golf course and this is pure genius!

[@chromicapop4595]

The way he said "golf is scottish for asshole"😂

[@bailinnumberguy]

"and you thought 'wow, there goes a douchebag'" LOL.

[@Cluv22]

"35 yards......RIGHT IN THE FUCKIN WOODS!!!!!!" LMAO!

[@fathompin]

The golfer's thoughts afterwards are right on, "I told you when you woke up this morning that you were a piece of shit." AND Don't let a golfer tell you he cares about nature.

[@chriswinkler284]

This is the best photograph of Lewis EVER!

[@Blacklister773]

This skit is my all time favorite that Lewis has done!

[@MykolasGilbert]

"That's the ball Tiger uses" The guy who drove himself off the road into the woods!!!

[@igotgame2478]

this is brutally honest - avid golfer

[@nancytill]

As my father use to say: “the best two balls I hit, was when I stepped on the rake” 🤣

[@mikau69]

Lucky girl, you had a wise and funny dad🤣.My god, you put a big smile on my face, good day to you :)

[@kylahhodge4833]

totally agree....Carlins position that any golfer lucky enough to actually even FIND the ball after he successfully hits it should "PUT IT IN HIS POCKET AND GO HOME!!! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU FOUND IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! " was pretty accurate!

[@charlesdignam780]

I agree, I play at a small municipal golf ⛳️ course which is ostensibly a 3 par. It is a veritable mine field of woods, water and others hazards to humble the best golfer.

[@EMTB17]

Carlin is the 🐐

[@iamnormal8648]

I had forgotten how good a comedian Lewis Black is. Glad I have re-stumbled back into his videos.

[@timothycahill7535]

This sums up my experience with golf.

[@catkeys6911]

In prehistoric times, when a man beat the ground with a stick and screamed, it was an early form of communication. In modern times, it's called golf.

[@concernedcanadian6683]

When I golf, I use a #4 shovel. When I have a hard hole to get, I just make a new hole. You should see when I have a really bad game, looks like a minefield.

[@jackadams3878]

oh man, i made it all the way to "if i had a chainsaw" before i laughed myself dizzy

[@tylerechtenkamp6627]

I'm a shitty golfer and I would wear lime pants to a round. That said, this is fucking hilarious. Love ya Lewis!

[@planetary109]

Wow, there goes a douchebag.

[@mattquinn7648]

I love golf, and this bit is hilarious.

[@IanPryor21]

" Well did we learn a lesson today...... GET A FUCKIN TIGER!!!!!!" HAHAHAHAHA

[@daleleigh4149]

it's "you're not fucking tiger"

[@TheVCRTimeMachine]

I haven’t played a round of golf in 18 years. I kept my clubs for 16 years, cleaned them once a year and then placed them back in the corner of the garage. Then two years I ago I threw them in my trunk and drove to the local thrift shop and dumped them in the dumpster

[@edjr672]

I'm an avid golfer who happens to less than suck. I find this hilarious.

[@lynsandgren2997]

I love Lewis Black! He has such a straight on about just any subject there is. I always laugh and usually agree with the world as he see's it.

[@sanguiniue]

As a green keeper and I can say every word is true

[@gregoryjgarcia3862]

"Shoot it out your pee pee hole!"🏌️‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

[@mattl2425]

It’s fun watching shitty golfer as a superintendent

[@DrBrianKlinge]

Too Funny, but True!!

[@sarge420]

Former assistant pro in Oregon and agree. My favorite pants (1976) were polyester, white with black poke-a-dots. They never sold at a garage sale years later. LOL

[@Cluv22]

I'm black and I LOVE Lewis.

[@scissors656]

i threw my brand new titanium driver in the water hazard on hole 2 on accident LOL I WAS TRYING FOR THE FAIRWAY.

[@jasmoran66]

George Carlin hated golfers too.

[@Ragoldiesfan]

I love golf and think this is hilarious!

[@kevindaniel7333]

I've had "That Chainsaw Thought" several times!!

[@bobmitchell4532]

A friend of mine got tired of the chainsaw and bought himself a backhoe. YEEEHAW!

[@JerKur18]

That poison leaf bit 😄

[@chucknchar]

I enjoy the day, have a couple of beers, listen to music, enjoy being outside on manicured greens and play golf. Yup, Im a golfer.

[@jessiejames2155]

"...because Golf...was a game..designed for people..who don't hate themselves enough in their daily lives...!!!" 😳🤯😳🤣👍

[@nickpapalazarou4874]

This what that flat torque with the little wool ball on top is that some golfers wear..their crown!

[@stanleyyelnats1313]

As a golfer.....I approve this message! Hahahaha

[@briancronauer7663]

Lewis Black confirms what I always say to myself. "I suck at golf....I don't even need to go out and attempt to know that." I'd much rather get drunk and play mini golf. Much more competitive.

[@ruffian2952]

I only needed to watch my grandson play golf to realise I'm not as accomplished as I thought.😂

[@Mozart1220]

Hey, I Like it. "Jeb Bush - Less than shitty". I see a bumper sticker.

[@Kevin-hn6wp]

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot -------- a guy wont stop looking for a golf ball !

[@johnneilokowitz2682]

This guy is to funny for words

[@Kevin01SH]

I see a lot of bad golfers on the course and wonder why they put themselves through it lol.

[@thrillington2008]

I suck at the sport but this is comedic paydirt.

[@DennisBillington]

5:04 OH MY GOD!!! IT'S A SNAKE!!!!

[@TheAtkey]

Lewis Black golfs, has all his life. Golf courses are not the reason we have a homeless problem eliminating them won't solve anything.

[@fjb4932]

Eliminate the homeless, and the homeless problem goes away . . .

[@TheDrLeviathan]

I feel this applies to me and Dark Souls as well...

[@troyklassen414]

Yes lol

[@WhatIsMisophonia]

Diablo 2 until I finally realized I was never going to find all the shit that I needed and wasn't willing to buy the shit.

[@MyPedorro]

Genius!

[@scissors656]

i remember a day when i just decided to get in my car; and go golfing. when i arrived at the golf course it started raining; but i said no big deal, i'm not afraid of a little rain. then i stepped up to hole 1; and drove it right in the woods.....

[@kenforu1531]

Check out Robin Williams on inventing golf.

[@jamesdandy1777]

Notice the highest score is the lowest score in golf. That tells you something

[@yd3941]

Gold!

[@pjt07]

in the first 30 seconds of this clip Lewis says that he's a golfer...

[@nypad5]

I put "hardcore" gamers in the same boat with golfers. People drop mad cash just to get the latest PC equipment (pc specs is out of this argument, if you need a new pc to run the latest games thats understandable) but it comes down to these crazy expensive Keyboard and mouses that the "pros" use. and they still suck at pc games haha :D

[@e1it3z0r]

As a member of both groups, I agree.

[@planetary109]

The only thing inhibiting me from becoming one is my small budget.

[@DeadPool-XF]

Bullshit

[@IvoMiller]

Exactly correct

[@stephaniehand503]

thanks

[@TomFynn]

Lesson learned: Never use Tiger Wood's balls.

[@nomadicroadrat]

I was invited to play golf.for charity. I teed and hit the ball. To this day I don't know where it landed. I said my goodbyes to the people I was with, went back to the club house, wrote A check to the charity, drank A few rounds, and asked for a cab to take me home cause sure as shit I was not going to hang around until the charity tournament was finished. The first and only time I played golf. I understand completely what Lewis Black is saying.

[@mattl2425]

I’m a asst super at a golf course and have had my cart hit multiple time when I’m way off the fairway… and they never yell “fore”… that golf bal could kill me if it hits me in the wrong place…

[@clancypool3160]

I always called my driver a Volkswagen on the end of a stick

[@purplegreenredyellow]

Eldrad must live!

[@bitburg40]

For the last 4 years I’ve been an angry white male. Lewis Black makes it look cool. If only I can improve on the finger thing he does.😂

[@erichartman5348]

Mini golf is the only golf that counts. And you must be drunk to play. That’s why dart boards are in bars. So much fun.

[@valoriehealy328]

I really like lewis black

[@myredsaga]

If you want to see a very good movie that has a short hilarious scene on golfing, rent the video "Falling Down" staring Michael Douglas.

[@williamsands5519]

Yes, excellent scene. The outfits alone.

[@CraigerAce]

I don't play golf. I play flog. That's golf backwards.

[@danholm4952]

Hes right

[@myfrestuff3453]

I began playing golf on my simulator in my garage that I closed off to be climate controlled like the rest of my home right around the time this video was posted ten years ago in 2013. It cost me less than one year's worth of a corporate membership to a club in total, to play on more than 60 worldwide courses that host either tour events or major championships or both, with an additional full length driving range in the AZ desert that has large target greens, around $3K including closing off the garage. There is no waiting, no shitty players both in terms of abilities or attitudes or both, no crowds, no critters, no weather, no money exchanges hands for greens fees or carts, and there's no shitty food or over priced beverages. I have unlimited mulligans or do-overs, a perfect lie and level stance for every shot, three sets of tees including starting holes from the middle of the fairway 150 yards out just like a beginner, the choice of a real ball, no ball, or what I mostly use, a foam ball, which lasts about five or six full rounds each at a cost of $10 for 18 of them shipped to my home, the only real expense involved other than replacing the grips on my clubs every five years or so from normal wear. I control how much wind there is, fog or clear skies, how fast the greens and fairways play, how difficult the rough and bunkers play, and I can finish 18 holes anywhere in 30 minutes or less. In fact, today I think I'll play my favorite 36, starting with the Old Course at St. Andrews this morning and then again at Pebble Beach Golf Links after lunch! It doesn't suck to be me! In fact I can sum up all of my golfing experiences now in just two words: "I win!" 😂😉😎

[@TheGreggiraldo]

4 golfers disliked this

[@TheGreggiraldo]

2 people wear lime green pants

[@simeonflake]

The only time I find myself watching golf is when the women play & even then, I'm just staring at legs.... 🙂

[@alworkedup]

As much as I love Lew, I have to say that I had 2 uncles who were golfers and they weren't assholes.

[@vinayseth1114]

+alworkedup I would actually like to hear a counter-argument to Lewis Black, George Carlin, and Robin Williams' critique of golf!

[@troyklassen414]

haha lewis says he is a golfer but he also admits he is an asshole for playing golf lol

[@HDadvocate85]

Lmao

[@Clarkgriswood]

What other game has a bar at the end?🤣

[@richardburton6838]

Except now it's five.

[@collegeman1988]

You go play that name of golf, I’m gonna go take a nap by that tree 🌲 wake me up when you’re done.

[@grampy2014]

Putt-putt ought to give you a clue..

[@1MysteryZ1967]

😆

[@legendnation6694]

The poison sumac does me in e ery time

[@TheGreggiraldo]

LB

[@rickybates9657]

the 1 was a golfer

[@markb452]

This is NOT a KZbin video. Because there is no VIDEO!!! It’s at best a podcast. 😡

[@WhateverItsanOpinion]

Golfing is the worst sport to do when you retire.. You will spend thousands of dollars per year on it.. It will drain your bank account

[@q7winq7]

This isn't a video - just an audio. I need to see what's going on. I'm not a golfer.

[@kathlelan]

A good way to ruin a nice walk....

[@fredfreddy8684]

I'm a miniature a$$hole.

[@redle0pard]

So you play Miniature Golf or Putt-Putt? (lol)

[@ralphscimo8834]

The origin of the word golf means Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. Women were not allowed to play long ago.

[@jimwalter5498]

He really should take up hunting cuz thats another sensible sport....

[@berwynofgreyhawk5525]

Was a caddie during my summers as a kid…. Total abuse and servitude

[@ruffian2952]

Did you live at a caddie camp? I stayed at one on Cape Cod, made lots of cash and a scholarship for four years of college. I'm now a member.

[@yossarianmnichols9641]

$2 a ball for me , brand new. LB is wasting his money

[@eprater55]

The first time I played golf I shot a 55. I did even better on the second hole. Ha Ha that's why it was also the last time I played golf.

[@Lem0nsquid]

Good to know im only an asshole a dozen times a year tops

[@mattbrand4068]

Same here, although I have specific conditions for my enjoyment of the game. There’s a course down 2mins from our weekend crib in the country (nz) and whenever I’m down there (holidays, long weekends etc) I’ll play a few rounds with my brother. Before you write me off as a clown though, hear me out. The first thing to do, is to wait till the actual members, (or indeed anyone that respects the game enough to pay green fees) has left. Then, with a can of lager in each pocket of our most comfortable pants and with no shoes on, we jump the fence at the 9th hole. Sure, it’s the 9th hole, but by the time I’ve played 9 holes, I can barely walk thanks to the booze, much less drive a ball in a straight line, so it would be masochistic cruelty to play a full 18. Along with that, I’ll only play with one club (usually a six or seven iron). Seriously, nothing takes the fun out of an evening walk on a manicured course, like dragging 15kgs of rattling clubs along with you. Just hit the ball, take your club and head for wear you think it landed. In saying all of this, after a year or two of such shenanigans, I would like to say im ‘less than shitty’ as I have on more than one occasion managed to get a hole on par with only a six iron. Rare, but achievable in my history. Any other form of golf playing is just pretentious and irritates me to a profound level.

[@GibsonGuy0707]

You people who hate golfers do realize that Lewis Black is a golfer too right? So you admit that you hate him while praising him. That's pretty stupid as well don't you think?

[@WWZenaDo]

+Gibson Guy It's called humor & satire, clueless guy.

[@EndlessSummer888]

Although Lewis Black is like the very very angry George Carlin, this isn't as good as Carlin on golf.

[@D12Disease]

cromusic ibra It's like watching flies fuck.

[@EndlessSummer888]

***** And a mindless game too. Think of the intellect it must take to draw pleasure from this: hitting a ball with a crooked stick and then.... WALKING AFTER IT! And then... HITTING IT AGAIN!

[@TBONE_2004]

cromusic ibra I know that there are some people who play golf, but don't consider themselves rich. *FUCK THEM!!!* And SHAME on them for engaging in an arrogant elitist past time!

[@EndlessSummer888]

@108345504708824760521 Let these rich cocksuckers play mini-golf. Let them fuck with a windmill for an hour and a half, see if there's any real skill involved.

[@ShaDHP23]

Or Robin Williams

[@carlhicksjr8401]

Golf is the purposeful, willful, and malicious misuse of a perfectly good and desperately needed public rifle range. SO THERE!

[@coyotefang]

No wonder Trump loves golf

[@billyboy8534]

Better than the alzheimer's patient currently in the white house.

[@VENTRILIMOproduction]

Oh happy and then became SHITY!

[@kyaume21]

Golf is not a Scottish word; it came from the Dutch word "kolven", which was a game that originally came from China, and then via Holland found its way to Scotland. The popular myth that it was invented in Scotland is precisely that: a myth.

[@keitht.rogers7688]

But "Golf is a Scottish word that means A$$hole " is much more amusing.

[@kingslickster9841]

Incorrect. Golf is from Scotland. Google it

[@annieseaside]

He was joking.

[@johndavidhall5232]

What ever happened to comedy. THIS is not in the least bit funny. Obviously I love golf.

[@gerryc3112]

+John David Hall I think you left your sense of humour in the third hole. When you lose one of your senses, your other senses become heightened, especially your sense of self-importance.

[@johndavidhall5232]

The fact that I play golf would seem to contradict your assumption that I lack a sense of humour. Any comedy that relies on calling people names is not comical to me.

[@maxxmabemwe4859]

I got addicted to golf. I am a shitty golfer, but I have had a hole in one, almost had two of them, several eagles, many pars, and some birdies. I once thought I had made an Albatross but one guy in our foursome corrected me and said it was an eagle. You can tell a lot about people's character on a golf course, Trump is an excellent example of that. Golf is not responsible for homelessness, if you want to place the blame properly look on capital hill, and you will see the flunkies for the 1% who are a bunch of sell-out welfare recipients who will stay there and suckle off the government tithe until they die. The golfing industry provides a lot of jobs for people. I am retired, 78 years old, and I play golf twice a week. I see a lot of other old guys out there getting some exercise and some sunshine. I don't buy expense balls, and I have found as many balls as I have lost on the golf course. Golf might seem silly to some people, but it beats sitting around looking at a TV screen all day.

[@grampy2014]

We use to be able to laugh at ourselves.