Gooning Explained

[@dosde8391]

I miss the times where a goon was just a villain lackey's

[@lizardasslick]

I believe there's still a parallel between the terms, at least in its genesis. The metaphysical concept of gooning implies the subservience of one's mind to their genital, and this is the main practical difference between gooning and simply edging. The idea is almost that of an ego death, but with lust and overstimuli. In the same way a goon is a lowly servant of a higher figure, to "goon" is to lower yourself become a goon of your senses. I think that's where the name comes from, probably

[@LtCdrXander]

Same with the word "edge" One of my favorite book series was "The Edge Chronicles" but now I can't take the name seriously anymore

[@yuhhhh.hhhh.]

@@LtCdrXanderI just read that book it was amazing to goon to!

[@masterzoroark6664]

@@lizardasslick Well, love how you explained this

[@joshjo9405]

@@LtCdrXander Hehehe

[@usmckirby100]

To goon 317811 times in a day, you would have only roughly .27 seconds to complete each goon. That's roughly 5885 gph, goons per hour. With an average stroke of 5 inches one direction, if you required roughly 81 up and down strokes for each goon, assuming you made the quota of the final day, you would have be gooning so fast you would have broken the sound barrier.

[@garystinten9339]

Your parents literally hear a continual faaaaaaaaaaaap sound.. not fap but faaaaaaaaaaaap

[@christiangonzalez6945]

Like a firefighter hoose hahahahahaha

[@D3xterJettster]

Mythbusters needs to try this

[@RextheDinoGD]

That’s 2031 miles or 8.15% the circumference of Earth. That’s about 85 miles per hour or 11.07% the speed of sound at sea level (the speed of sound is 768mph). My maths disagrees with yours. Edit: I guess you would break the sound barrier if you did it in 2 hours and 34 minutes.

[@misternull4753]

​@@RextheDinoGDYou forgot to count both up and down strokes in there, it's 170mph. 3.6783608555... goons per second which I'll round down to 3.6783068 81 strokes x 2 directions x 5" = 810 inch/goon Goons per Second x Inches per Goon = 2979.472248 Inches Stroked per Second Gooning. That's ~248 Feet per Second, or 169mph.

[@Scardpelt]

“With our sample size of 1, 3 is the average” Good lord this man is MASSIVE

[@rita_calamity]

Why do you think he is always hovering over the pedestal?

[@archise3191]

Nice pfp you've got there

[@zeo_here]

😂

[@rita_calamity]

@@archise3191 Mentally sick, physically thicc

[@Iuffycs]

nice cringe pfps you guys got there

[@BatteryAcid777]

"if you're wearing a chastity cage it doesn't matter how big you are" is one of the sentences of all time

[@dretriesitems8327]

That is one of the sentence of all time fr

[@BastardOfTheNorth]

Can not a large powerful enough one shatter such a cage apart?

[@BatteryAcid777]

@@BastardOfTheNorth if its a crappy plastic cage yes (speaking from experience)

[@xxD20Girlxx]

​@@BatteryAcid777 Oh, dear. You have to have a proper metal cage, darling.

[@BatteryAcid777]

@@xxD20Girlxx I know and I do :)

[@DAGO0FY]

The "goon squad" just got a whole new meaning

[@THE_NTWRK]

Comedy gold Lmaooo

[@jordonlongley6576]

Wait my goon squad isn’t the only goon squad?

[@Flesh_Wizard]

Goon Platoon works better

[@NebulousArray]

We have joked around about "Goon Command Central" 😂💀

[@Anon1gh3]

I can't call my mates that anymore when we bring a casket of wine over 😕Thanks gena.

[@thatvillainjay]

This lesson went off the rails

[@ChuckyMarks]

To be fair, it started nowhere near the rails

[@AmbuBadger]

This is what I get for having "WMAF" in certain search bars...

[@yOGlo]

U actually watched it all ??... lol wtf smh

[@misakichoi636]

I will rail you lil bro

[@audio_dregs]

Haha nice seeing you here Jay!

[@bachira7651]

insane notification

[@mathiusguerrero9804]

I've seen worse

[@elainad6728]

insane notification

[@mr.dirtydannnnn]

The insanest

[@-Strike]

W notification

[@LtCdrXander]

Sexy notification

[@Alice-un3kq]

Okay, but why was Prof Linda's eyeliner on point? Wtf? The artistry

[@aaroncarapace8054]

When Linda came out I was expecting the usual bro crossdress of shoving a sweater in their shirt to simulate a chest and a dollar store wig or something. This.... this was planned, rehearsed and practiced.... This isnt the first time Linda has gone on a date

[@traphimawari7760]

Professor Linda got me gooning

[@lumine_polarbear]

@@traphimawari7760 🤨

[@MrRedpanda2442]

​@@traphimawari7760linda ended my gooning session

[@bryantechno4704]

​@@aaroncarapace8054I'm genuinely curious how he pulled of that seamless cleavage

[@FailBucketFilms]

I have been calling my cubicle at work my goon cave for the past 12 years... I would often invite my coworkers over to collaborate at my desk by saying, "come on down to my goon cave"... *gulp*

[@cl0v3rg4rd3n]

12 YEARS??

[@jordansthing]

12 year goon streak

[@dextrobes]

Yikes also my teacher said someone in my class had no skibidi rizz

[@Heheheha-sh5zh]

@@dextrobesbro what was he teaching

[@oscarglad5284]

​@@dextrobesI too am curious

[@mango6481]

I love how randomly frieren is just associated with gooning for no apparent reason

[@JulioVargas-ok5st]

True but I think it's the face she makes that seems appropriate to be associated with

[@raditz1101]

I can 34 reasons why actually, you can shorten that to 34 R's or R34 if you must

[@DomR1997]

Professor Linda has me feeling something I didn't know I could still feel.

[@bensoncheung2801]

222 thumbs

[@julians9899]

I was breathing heavy after ... it... showed up :)

[@koganeitou]

Ha qayyyyyyy! 💁‍♀💁‍♀🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊

[@AutisticBarbie]

She looks beautiful

[@IWillBeYourBottomGDaddy]

@@koganeitou in the wise words of Dantes, "liking femboys isn't gay, that shit's straight"

[@TheRatikalizt]

It's not a masturbation addiction, it's a masturbation commitment

[@AmbuBadger]

Yeah, rehab is for quitters, and coach don't like quitters!

[@AutisticBarbie]

I know that’s right

[@Lordmaster135]

underrated commitment

[@sir.muffiniii7011]

@@AmbuBadger😭😭😭

[@love-hammer]

A fap appointment, an all-hands meeting.

[@andrew_oid]

I miss the olden days of KZbin when people made content like this all the time.

[@Pandor18]

there are probably more content like this today, is just a smaller percentage and harder to find about the more "normal/popular" content

[@platonkarataev550]

I am nearly 60 years old. If I was in that classroom I would be sat in the corner with a dunces hat on.

[@KingOfStrongStyle2088]

I wish my teachers were half as good as professor lando

[@MatheusMPL]

half as hot too, sheesh

[@AmbuBadger]

You meant Linda, right? Right? Oh no...

[@purplelion1000]

Prof teaching how to get a date on Valentine's. Prof ending the class with a date everyone wants for Valentine's 14:15 personal timestamp thank you (love you professor, thank you for all your hard work, appreciate everything you do for us)

[@roko305]

yt asked me what I thought of this comment

[@purplelion1000]

@@roko305 *sweats profusely wh-what did you reply?

[@roko305]

I clicked: informative, relatable, funny and show’s appreciation to video creator

[@purplelion1000]

@@roko305

[@agustin5035]

😂😂😂😂

[@NearlyInfinity]

I watched this while sleep deprived asf on the bus home stayed up for like 48 hours and it was honestly such a manic fever dream to watch when literal actual microsleep dreams/hallucinations mix in with it, gold stuff tho

[@torn5203]

NSG 👀

[@jasperpretzle]

omg same rn hahaha (minus the bus tho)

[@mangohavoc6428]

Don’t do meth kids :-P

[@rituaxxxz]

@@mangohavoc6428the ecstasy was laced 🥹

[@rebeccapearson7424]

LMFAO NO WAY

[@mharr]

I consider myself pretty learned, especially in matters of the internet. I watch all your lessons as both a refresher, and a small ego boost as i recognized most of the information for most subjects. I had no clue what this was. I am now super informed. Thanks so much professor.

[@xioffb97]

The reason you haven't heard about it before is because it's a term more commonly used in the LGBT community.

[@MrAvenger1975]

Yeah, it's a practice commonly associated with sissies. At least that's originally how I learned the term many years ago.

[@aeishamg871]

Gooners around the world should unite to rent out the Las Vegas sphere.

[@Lazarusgaweseb2438]

................Thats a great idea

[@Sicarius_Avindar]

And those cleaners better be getting not only Hazard Pay, but a *GIANT* Tip.

[@sledger2066]

Oh god no….

[@B10KPlaysGames]

Professor Lando when you're watching it alone: 1:37 Professor Lando when your parents walk in: 14:21

[@javieravila2530]

I did not expect that

[@mr.zalmannony6796]

Holy moly that is so so fitting

[@komlat253]

Lil

[@AmbuBadger]

The wig and dress are one thing, but a choker is a whole different level...

[@RunningBlade2184]

Professor Lando is probably not parent friendly in most scenarios. Unless they’re gooners.

[@Reverse_Cat_Cowgirl]

"We had a sample size of about one, and 3 inches was the adverage desired length" I'm deceased.

[@AutisticBarbie]

😂😂😂

[@ChillGuy2854]

Rip😢

[@beebix247]

"Do you have a valentine?" *looks at hands*

[@darkrexkigntstone8773]

Ah , yes! Lefty and righty.

[@DaniZeAlmighty]

​@@darkrexkigntstone8773And Mr. Middle

[@TeraChad23]

​@@darkrexkigntstone8773 bruh, Lefty rejected me years ago 💀 Edit: guys my girlfriend does it for me now 💀

[@darkrexkigntstone8773]

@@TeraChad23 o7 🙏

[@lachychops2]

Her name is Mrs Palmer

[@vegtam2869]

"we had a sample size of about 1" I'M DEAD

[@protoroc]

We got an average of 3.

[@Alderoth]

I was 13 years old. I didn't want to go to school that day, so I stayed home "sick." In the 8.5 hours I had the house alone, I got 17 off. My pb still. Edit: without internet or magazines lmao

[@MikeBNumba6]

No way. You're a legend

[@Alderoth]

@MikeBNumba6 i was a menace back in my day. No room was safe.

[@Fightanddie]

With just ur mind is diabolical

[@Alderoth]

@connergalles7106 not really lol at 13 you can rub the sink the wrong way while brushing your teeth and pop 1 off lmao

[@Speed001]

That can't have been healthy.

[@swimmingtuna4796]

17:34 he who pulls me out shall be named King Arthur

[@decayingbrain7494]

Holy shit bro

[@pancakes_go2940]

ON BRO

[@tupacmallory]

On God

[@Au79Bricks]

That’s crazy bro

[@theschnozzler]

You ain't a real agent for that

[@SnarlyOwl]

This is exactly what I needed to help pass my gooning finals. Thanks professor Lando.

[@bensoncheung2801]

111 thumbs

[@kirbysthiccthighs]

@@bensoncheung2801111 goons*

[@deltamico]

Hope it has gone well cause this was just the introduction

[@Spartan11117777]

Bro got his PhD in Gooning. 😂

[@lonelyboy9852]

In Australia the term Goon is used for alcohol and we have these silver bags of alcohol called Goon bags, and we even got a game with them where we put them on a spinning cloths line with a peg and everyone picks a spot, once it stop spinning whoever is under it has to drink the goon. Its called The Goon of Fortune.

[@vinching926]

A type of Russian Roulette?

[@alexjgilpin]

I can't tell whether to make a joke about what horrid contents a goon would stick in their goon bag... or whether to make a joke about a goon bag's usage in pleasurable asphyxiation. The section of the brain responsible for raunchy youtube comments is really kind of experiencing a choose your own adventure game, and I'm loving it!

[@micahgelfand8282]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@smallxplosion9546]

Don’t even ask the term for flip flops

[@SombreroPharoah]

What's a flip flop? ​@@smallxplosion9546

[@vikfan3557]

Not every gooner ist a goon. But every goon is a gooner

[@Giavekz]

German keyboard user detected

[@sharmacs284]

​@@Giavekzist

[@vikfan3557]

@@Giavekz my pc has autorecorection. Sorry

[@Giavekz]

@@vikfan3557 I think you're awesome, don't worry. Being bilingual is cool asf!

[@Draconatus24]

Well fuck, I’ve been gooning without even knowing it, thank you for opening my eyes professor.

[@scottnoseworthy975]

I unironically got an ad for hand lotion on this video

[@sledger2066]

KZbin is wild…..

[@BestDamThing6534]

1:00 “many people die” shit had me cracking up

[@xaf15001]

Blake's face during this was just. Bois 's just in fear

[@moredac2881]

I can’t believe they cut out Blake’s brilliant lecture

[@mackenziemoore5088]

That was a wild time lmao

[@phoenixvance6642]

His audio was a little messed up at the beginning that might be part of why

[@bensoncheung2801]

144p thumbs

[@avo478]

2:08 "Blake, do you have a valentines?" *looks at hands* "uhh... no" lmfao

[@spittingame4241]

@14:21 All I'll say is Professor Lando did a good job. Fantastic 😊

[@michaelmccarthy5166]

I am a foremost leading researcher in the gooning field and I am in AWE of Proffessor Lando's understanding of the nuances of my passion.

[@KatraSining]

save me professor linda.... save me..

[@Zaudunyani]

Professor Linda looking right 0____o

[@AmbuBadger]

Bruh, the wig and dress, yeah, okay... but wearing a choker is a whole other level.

[@SirStrangefolk]

​@@AmbuBadgerThe choker is needed to hide the seam of the breastform.

[@AmbuBadger]

@@SirStrangefolk Never said it was a bad thing... _in fact, I keep scrolling back to the segment..._

[@icecontrol2571]

i'm gooning rn.

[@walrusmaximus]

I'm a recovering gooner and so happy i got out of that cycle. It's not too late to stop gooning!

[@MarceloBraga-j7v]

professor Lando contributions to cultured studies are getting better and better. his explanation about edging is totally S tier.

[@12DAMDO]

i like how Blake shaked his head in fear to this information

[@lukesaylor6742]

I work very hard to not let the fact i watch anime ruin my youtube recommendations, so i refuse to watch anything anime related on here. You can imagine my surprise when im on my recomended page scrolling through shitposts when low and behold i see..... frieren holding tissues and a bottle of lotion? The mixture of horror and confusion was instantaneously replaced by rage when i realized the title was none other than *"Gooning Explained"* So ofcourse i clicked and boy oh boy am i glad i did

[@DarkVeghetta]

F

[@oskerbenz8655]

You horrify me in all the right ways. but also I love how you explain things.

[@kevinmurphy5878]

This channel is epic idk how I never found it before. Blake is the most accurate college lecture denizen I've ever seen

[@hundvd_7]

17:40 Wtf that smile is genuinely something

[@nkosiezikalala5267]

Mans having way too much fun with it💀

[@D3xterJettster]

Scary good

[@Pandamaxx]

"3 to 5 is desireable, above 6 is too much" thank you for a new insecurity, professor. 7 used to be a point of pride for me.

[@JesusIsKing1001]

For me it was 42

[@laurelalloro]

84 here 😔

[@Pandamaxx]

@@laurelalloro that seems unhealthy. Like, lose bloodflow to the brain unhealthy xD

[@True_NOON]

Wouldnt it be at that point blood consolidation into one area?

[@Pandamaxx]

@@True_NOON yeah, funnily enough, people with the actual biggest sizes in the world run the risk of fainting or other issues due to a lack of blood in other regions of their body. I'd say up to 10 inches safe for the wielder, but beyond that... ehhhh. Just looked it up, biggest size is around the 18 inches. That can cause problems (Edits for measurement conversions, im dutch. I dont work with imperial well)

[@Hafaechaes]

A full crossdressing lesson would be legit amazing. This looks awesome, well done!

[@フフーガ]

Bone structure: *blocks your path*

[@dream_weaver6207]

​@@フフーガwith my hight I can only dress up as a giraffe

[@Nanook128]

​@@フフーガIt's actually not that big of a deal

[@finnsmeets-h2v]

i am confused he managed to get the breasts

[@DangerN00dl3]

How did he get the chest right tho??

[@Zequintiny]

I've you've ever been hit with the move at 6:50, you felt that.

[@L0CV5T]

Thank you for keeping me up to date professor

[@ilvecchioRandy]

Bro this is the most unhinged one yet, i couldn't stop laughing throught the stream. You won't be able to recover from this for sure, worth it tho

[@ClockLock]

Blake will never be the same again

[@ilyez7681]

As a college student i can confirm that a dorm room is the most optimal goon cave especially if it's a one person room, from experience i went on hours of unholy activities in there and the best thing about it is no inturruption of any form can occur, unless you got friends 8n which case why tf are you gooning.

[@kirbysthiccthighs]

@marshmallowblobgoonison

[@ilyez7681]

​@marshmallowblob Damn

[@apophis7712]

​@marshmallowblob What, we some kind of... Goon Squad?

[@forcers5k]

​@@apophis7712**credits roll**

[@atroposV]

​@marshmallowblob Goonity

[@blackpsychotigertells2827]

Blake's journey is one of the greatest media experiences I've ever watched.

[@skaviouz]

8:53 If a virgin never reaches organism in their entire life, I think edging would actually empower the magical powers at age 30. Obviously, this is playing with fire and can easily lead to premature release that will cause you to never become a wizard.

[@futuristicbus61]

Lando’s titles are amazing

[@muserweaver]

Titles? Oh. I've read this comment wrong at first.

[@HuneeBruh]

@@muserweaver same, though the second half of the video proves the other way of reading it right

[@wildbard4112]

YES TIME TO GOON! You should do a video about jelqing!

[@dimitrilitovsk2372]

Or jawking. Basically anything that most people don't understand but the goon squad gets it

[@Muhluri]

May as well restore your foreskin while you're at it

[@no3ironman11100]

Hasn't that been proven wrong for like, decades on the internet? I used to think it was possible as a kid lol I remember.

[@WhyDoBabiesStareAtMe]

​@@dimitrilitovsk2372They have advanced beyond normal gooning. They have ascended to moon-gooning.

[@joelcoll4034]

​Can you explain? @@dimitrilitovsk2372

[@Shuxy]

The Professor's dedication is unmatched

[@Latexremover]

12:34 wait he’s cooking, he’s on that heat, he’s onto something

[@ben-taobeneton3945]

Now I finally learned the definiton of this. Thank you professor Lando. Time to Goon!🙂

[@al-imranadore1182]

This was called cooming 6 months ago.

[@Jumpi95]

This is NOT what I thought gooning meant, thought it was the act of being mischievous. This was great, had me gigglin the whole time

[@currypancake208]

Wow, this is insane! Prof looking really good and confident in this outfit

[@bingus_chezborgo]

This has truly changed my outlook on life as a whole, thank you professor

[@gvardy4169]

For Santa: I need one Digital sphere with a built-in automatic GOON machine

[@CKM522]

ありがとう先生

[@TurtleChad1]

I was trying to stop gooning but the thumbnail just triggered me.

[@Aldgri]

That’s insanely sad 😭

[@TheBestNinalb]

I will actually use this content more than my college classes

[@wealthybone2990]

Honestly I need this explained because idk what gooning is and why it's becoming a thing, sounds silly to me honestly but thank you Lando. Also would Frieren be a gooner?

[@lizardasslick]

yeah gooning is the secret to living thousands of years

[@irecordwithaphone1856]

​@@lizardasslickFrieren is also a looks maxer

[@Coomamon_Memes]

Shes a coompilled lvl 99 edge-pro goonmaxer.

[@Coomamon_Memes]

Freiren is a lv99 edgepiled goonmaxer.

[@trollconfiavel]

Gooning is a new form of consumerism aimed at porn. It's basically getting lots of dopamine from watching porn and edging with a high frequency and duration. Only some people are able to do this consistently due to lack of time and/or money.

[@AllisonKSBD]

This gave the movie Goonies a whole new meaning

[@Deoxys911]

This video really went off the rails in a weird way, but it actually ended with a surprisingly wholesome message. More guys online need to hear messages like that about the importance of confidence and putting in effort, they really can take you quite far in the world of dating.

[@Nicius-]

This is the best propaganda against Porn Addiction.

[@guy-7621]

my favorite goon type creator

[@kingleo6746]

I genuinely thank you for this knowledge

[@adolfjackson8691]

Its crazy to think I was a gooner before the term even came out, Imma freak deek

[@al-imranadore1182]

it was called cooming before.

[@andrewsena3394]

I watched this right after watching a crap load of horror videos and it immediately had me guffawing

[@shakal_]

17:25 bro dont test my straightness like that🥵

[@michaelrondan9481]

Every class brings me joy and happiness. Thank you professor.

[@Yavorh55]

The faces during the marker handling demo were perfect

[@TheBlueElephant111]

thank god my socially awkward ass has this channel to figure out all these exotic slangs

[@Aikisbest]

"When your wearing a chastity cage.." Haha, that was brilliant XD

[@ak06740]

Thank you Professor, i genuinely did not know what gooning was before this. I have learned so much

[@Gumshoesamurai]

14:50 THIS MAN IS BASED. PROTECC AT ALL COSTS

[@shandeur6918]

Seeing this in my for you page was definitely something

[@101pokemon101]

This video will be in my goon playlist

[@ByLocke]

Professor, I am grateful that I have such a passionate educator that is able to teach me things such as gooning. Thank you, good sir

[@darkoracle7534]

8:18 "Skeleton_Dork: This is not getting uploaded." Well well well.

[@levigreene9451]

this was my first stream!!! great to learn about gooning live

[@lol-2247]

Good day everyone 🍵

[@LtCdrXander]

Goon day everyone 😖😫💦☕️

[@IFuzedHostages]

G'day chap

[@Sonilotos]

'Morning

[@ExpanderDJ]

Very valuable information. Thank you.

[@Throndronis]

4:10 dr seuss shaking in his boots rn

[@my_bear_collection3958]

You just broke my edging streak

[@Skeleton_Dork]

This is the episode where Lando truly started going off the deep end

[@lastresort2600]

"You need to find out where that broadcasting station is located, Mason."

[@scoob5961]

Gooning has changed my entire life.

[@Crimnox_Cinder]

Oh god, I'm falling even further. I'm definitely getting close on that time frame of "indulgence." My hunger has been...ravenous, of late.

[@Ben_Ja_Man]

“1 inch, 2 inch,3 inch 4, 5 inches, 6 inches, 7 inches, more” goes kinda hard

[@CrazyGamingYT56]

Love your content keep up the great work

[@streamandtell724]

We making it out the goon cave with this one

[@Nekomimix]

This youtube channel is a gold mine

[@zendata4354]

havent started the lesson yet waiting for my popcorn to finish popping but shoutout to my fellow Arsenal FC fans.

[@woodstockbluehaigh]

1:11 Most I've ever done in a day was 8 , 4 in the morning and 4 in the evening.😅

[@rog_animates]

Most I've done is 4

[@BestLaginator]

Yall crazy , three is the most I can do it

[@deltamico]

As you can see, there is a correlation between attendance to classes and the amount

[@Gigfiga]

8?!only?

[@juletbrook222]

Thats crazy, 5 is my max