a rant on relationships

[@catface101]

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.” ― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., A Man Without a Country

[@theamateurnerdhistorian2324]

I've come to the conclusion that your one is just a person who exist but someone who's willing to exist alongside you. Stay with you when it matters and give you space when you need it. They never start as the one the become the one over time.

[@speechnopinions6017]

I was one of the people who called Devon jaded and honestly I get why he is & get that he’s not trying make others take on a jaded perspective. Glad he’s doing his thing. I think he mentioned that he believed nothing ever lasts and I hope he doesn’t give up hope completely. Some things do last forever (well, to a ripe old age of passing away), one may find that, or one may not, hopefully he doesn’t rule it out just yet.

[@allisonjones8757]

I appreciate your candor and vulnerability so much. I am 31 and single, and it gets harder the older you get. I tried the apps for a week and it gave me anxiety so I decided it wasn't for me. haha I agree that there is not "one" person for you, and there are many people out there who could be a great partner.

[@TheeFinalBoi]

I know y’all hoped Nickelodeon would reboot Ned’s but honestly this right here, is the better reboot imo. Just discovered this pod but it’s been nice seeing the trio being vulnerable and sharing where they’re at in their early 30s. It feels like the appropriate sequel to the fictional series that helped prepare me for the terrifying world of middle school lol. I just turned 30 and life has been well life lol and hearing you three share your journeys (and your boundaries!!) is a better survival guide than whatever Nickelodeon would have produced. Much love

[@gusparkwood4890]

Nah, for real, Bro, That "You're Your One" Quote really stuck with me, Man. Can't Give Your Love to Someone Else if You don't know Who You Are. Well Said, Man. Well Said.

[@anjelica024]

“Pay attention to your patterns” “Don’t be toxic” is always great straightforward advice. Anything about self accountability and what you can work on in yourself is always great advice for love, because we learn over time that we can’t change another person, but we can change things about ourselves and it can make so many differences. Thank you for being so vulnerable for this short 20 mins. I also really like that you admit you’ve been feeling jaded, I struggle with this myself and being aware is the most important part in healing and it won’t be like this forever. Everything is temporary so we have to make the best of what we have and who we are! 💗💯💯 “I love LOVE!!!l” 🤣💗

[@sl9690]

Devon, I just want you to know, you got plenty of fans and homies who love ya and support you. Been a fan of Ned’s since I can remember, it was always my show I’d look forward to watching whether that be a new episode or rerun. I’ve been in love with the pods that you have and the one with Lindsey and Daniel (love ya guys too if you’re reading this). Just know you’re not alone and what you said on this episode really spoke to me because it’s hard to explain to people what you mean when it’s your perspective. Anyways I’m just rambling but if you see this, glad to see you’re doing well buddy and you’ve also convinced me to go to burning man

[@patrickderose4338]

There's a popular belief that you have 3 true love based relationships in your life. Your first love. The one where you are still learning what love truly is(that one can be messy) and then the love that lasts the longest and you normally find it towards the end of your growth as a person when it comes to love. But if your eyes aren't completely open then you might miss something that's right in front of you *cough cough* Lindsey *cough cough* but I digress.

[@Lizheyzel]

The answers really are in our patterns, don’t let that go over your head.

[@valentinaalvarado9640]

what a beautiful topic to talk about! I Love is the most important lesson that we have to learn in this lifetime, i think that the biggest challenge is to definied what love is to you, and how did we learn to love in the earliest years of life

[@omeletteemily932]

I know I have found my "one" in my husband. He is an amazing partner, a great father to our almost 2 year old daughter, and honestly my best friend. We literally finish each others sentences, as cliche as that is lol, we share the same values and ideals in life, and he makes me so happy. You said this piece of advice at the beginning of today's pod: Don't go to bed angry with each other. That is such great advice. My husband and I always are 100% communicative with each other, even when we have our downs, and we work through those times. We listen to each other, we express how we feel, or how one of us is treating the other. Find you someone who will listen, someone who will help you, someone you want to do the same for. I hope you can find that type of love in your life again, Devon. You feel like an old childhood friend of mine even though we've never met and I wish you luck in your search for love.

[@MrZwhitt2]

Your podcast has helped me so much, I’ve been in this lost stage of loneliness for 4 years now.. it gives me comfort others have gone through similar paths. Keeps me going and wanting to be a better person everyday

[@Lizheyzel]

I can relate to this, love is different for every person feeling it. There’s many things we thought were “love” but we’re actually toxic patterns that we had adapted as “love”.

[@maliagoodrich4812]

It’s so hard. I’m marrying my best friend later this year and I couldn’t be happier. But I know I don’t love and respect myself as should. Therefore I rely on him for that love. Codependence. Our relationship is great, but I know my lack of self love causes reoccurring issues between us. I always hear women say “I found myself when I wasn’t in any relationship” but I really hope I can find the healing and learning of myself that I need while in this wonderful God-given relationship.

[@caseycollins7782]

You’re doing an amazing job articulating your thoughts Dev and you make so much sense. I love that you talk about this and at this depth because it’s something so relevant to all of our lives. Love these pods so much. They always make me think and make me wiser in that process. Thank you ❤️

[@brooker8970]

What I’m trying to learn how to do is get to know people but only the ways that are intimately appropriate. Some things and thoughts aren’t meant to be shared with someone that I’ve known for a month. To not allow my desire for intimacy eclipse the reality of where I’m at in my relationship with someone. It’s all truly a journey.

[@caseycollins7782]

THISSS

[@star0nyx]

I super appreciate the podcast for how frank you guys all are. It is so what I need lol. I personally just have 0 idea how to find a partner now. I don't want to use an app ever again lmao but also I don't know if my city is the place to meet people. I havent moved out of it but I am absolutely considering it within the next 12 months. How are people meeting people who are kind lol

[@Zikio992]

Great topic Devon! You have a lot of great self awareness. yes love is a vulnerable yet beautiful ✨ It applies toward how much we love ourselves as well ✨

[@AlrightParty]

Love the solo pods!!

[@orcblood9999]

The best and hardest thing that ever happened to me was ending a 4 and a half year relationship in 2021.

[@kaylheecarroll3186]

Devon, you'll find your great love ❤!

[@22yearoldteenager]

love this thanks devon

[@foreverluvingaara77]

I realized just recently after a few weeks of being miserable in my relationship, wondering what I was doing wrong, that I had been denying myself my needs and my expression out of fear of abandonment. When I decided that I needed to stick up for myself, and that I'd rather lose the other person than lose the badass parts of myself. My parter seemed genuinely relieved when I finally communicated my feelings, and that's when I finally knew he wasn't like all the assholes i have been with before lol needless to say, it eased anxiety to just put my fucking self first for once. The right partner wants you to.

[@MaxieTheMenace]

I love your content so much. It’s so real and honest. That is so hard to find. 💜

[@lisabianchi5268]

I had the same conversation with my brother who has been married for about 6 years two kids and three years older than me. I said my person will come at the right time, I will not force it. I feel it is more important to work on me and loving myself first. I, also, wonder about the ideas of soul mates. Do people have more than one soul mate?

[@melfernandez6455]

so good Devy. so good Bevon

[@tokyo_trey]

This helps me alot 😖

[@thehapagirl92]

8:23 I disagree that there’s no “the one”. I’ve dated for 15 years and been in many relationships and had many heartbreaks but I’ve never said I love you to them and neither have they to me so in my mind that means I have yet to meet the one. I’m 31 and still have hope despite more heartbreak than most my age.

[@ma_kenz]

Daniel Sloss has a fantastic standup routine about relationships called “Jigsaw” that I recommend to everyone I know.

[@TicoAssasin]

I don’t think there is ever a real “truth” when it comes to it. I think when it comes to love it’s an ever changing growing thing that we all have to continuously learn from and grow with. You can’t get to a certain point and be like “this is it. I reached the true meaning of it and I’m at the end” but instead just continue to grow and learn from it and understand that it will be a change from day to day. Some highs some lows

[@kristinamorelli6945]

Love is one of those things that can be a whole bunch of things wrapped in one, it can be happy exciting scary nerve wrecking and beautiful all at once. When it comes to love i don't think one person will ever have all the answers. All i can say is to do what makes you happy and spend time with friends and family that love and except you as you are flaws and all. Finding someone is something that comes with time. Similar to what devon said there can be multiple people in the world that could be the kind of person that you're looking for. The one to me just sounds a bit much. Live love and enjoy life as much as you can.

[@Narutoanime16g]

Not everybody needs to have a relationship & that’s perfectly fine you can find love with family or friends or even in an art you like to do, work etc. If it happens that you manage to find someone & it lasts for like 2 to 5 years & keeps going good for you but relationships aren’t for everyone & that’s fine long as your happy in your own way you made it

[@thecharger98]

I have an interest to know all the things that you have to say about sex. I feel like I need role models for a healthy, ethical sex life.

[@The_GreatIAm]

So weird seeing him Grown up lol

[@dimalixcsohn960]

Bo Burnham's little brother :O ???

[@AlrightParty]

Unfortunately great things have massive risks

[@joshuahutchins4134]

Sounds like a lot of self justifying the fact that you’re single my friend.

[@dr.wolfstar1765]

Why do you look so much like steven crowder. I thought steven was finally going to address the divorce

[@catface101]

Yooo BetterHelp sucks tho. They've abused alot of people

[@Jeremygh2343]

You would be so much happier if you were open about your sexuality. Take my advice and don't repress it.

[@ElAracle]

Hi, Devon. I'm currently studying the use of AI as a tool for creatives; one of the main uses is helping out with creative block. I know it's controversial but we, as creatives, have to evolve with it too as it's here. Anyways, I think you can benefit from it by asking for help on how to develop the ideas you're having. I wrote you a prompt for chatGPT that may be useful: "Hi. I'm a male, 32 years old. I'm a podcast host about life and growing up, and I'm having issues articulating some ideas about love and my relationship with it. One issue I notice is that my opinions can influence people into thinking my experience is my take on the concept of love and I'd like to learn how to communicate this better. Before you give me an answer, I'd like you to ask me as many questions you need to gather the proper information to generate a more accurate answer. Don't give me advice until I've answered your questions." It will then provide you a list of questions that are sometimes amazing for self-reflect. And once you provide the information it asks for (mainly about your thoughts or feelings and ways in which you communicate them), it will generate a roadmap to help you organize your ideas in more comprehensive ways. Even if it's too elaborate, you can add at the end: "Thank you. Now, please re-write this as if you were explaining it to a group of 18-year-olds." It will simplify the ideas, too. You can also ask it to explain it like you're 5. It's very cute. I hope it helps. Love the topic.