Hammond, Clarkson and May Fake Stats Compilation

[@j4ff4c3ks1]

"James, you get -461 points because your ambulance doesn't say "ambulance" on it" -Richard Hammond, while in the background, his ambulance which says "Lo-Cost Nuclear Disposal"

[@n1thmusic229]

I thought about that

[@momoProjects]

It's also funny because all the letters in AMBULANCE are symmetrical (A,M,U) or could just be rotated to face backwards (B,C,E) except the L and N. So it's like 7/9 of the way there

[@CzechMirco]

He would argue that it was much more effective in dispersing the traffic in front of him.

[@Cadeniplier01]

"The Vespa weighs 940,000 tons"

[@deqnq1705]

thats a heavy vespa

[@hashimina_]

is that made from tungsten?

[@jeremyfong5684]

@@hashimina_ lead

[@JetFalcon710]

@@jeremyfong5684 Tungsten's actually denser than lead

[@jimmydaamen]

That was my favourite one of them all

[@ospreyphil8995]

“Until this government gets rid of every speed bump. We are all going to die” - Jeremy Clarkson *whatever year* colourised

[@johnmccrossan9376]

He's right you know, along with signposts, speed limits and school zones. Teach the children not to be in the road, don't make everybody driving past the children late

[@jitt9264]

@@johnmccrossan9376 ? think about what ur saying

[@sneauxday7002]

@@jitt9264 woosh

[@ByteFilm]

Speed bumps are bad for the environment as it unnecessarily causes people to brake and accelerate wasting fuel

[@zwenkwiel816]

we should also do something about those busses 3 times the pacific ocean each week?!

[@kopasz3673]

I love Jeremy’s dominance in this video.

[@evilmario6061]

Jeremy is the king of Top Gear. James and Richard are valued princes (unlike Andrew)

[@brockley5960]

@@evilmario6061like this mans comment if you get the joke

[@aryansomrain5099]

@@brockley5960 i didnt

[@metaltyre4894]

@@brockley5960 hahahahahah

[@vencelzajtai6944]

Hello Olivér

[@dimii_music]

You missed “Did you know in the whole history of TVR there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down” “I’ve heard that.” That ones my favourite 😂

[@DrewSavo]

Well technically its true: TVRs don’t break _DOWN_ , they blow *UP!*

[@fahadahmad7088]

That episode had lots of fake statistics....like about the no of tourists visiting stoke every year....and the rare roadworks in Britain....

[@dimii_music]

@@fahadahmad7088 true

[@paulhenderman4584]

@@fahadahmad7088 and when they had a distance to travel in miles and then massively over converted into kilometres 😂

[@fahadahmad7088]

@@paulhenderman4584 yep😂😂😂

[@xjserpent7665]

“You make up statistics to get printed, and you’ll sound really good.” Sounds about right nowadays.

[@THENAMEISQUICKMAN]

The Brexit Party be like

[@rizzlebazzle5845]

aka the Labour Manifesto

[@seanonraet8327]

The daily mail

[@rizzlebazzle5845]

@@seanonraet8327 let's be honest, basically every single media source out there xD

[@jimtaylor294]

The Remain Campaign be like:* #FixedIt

[@scanida5070]

Making up fake stats is literally me when I have no idea what to say in Science Class...

[@scout360pyroz]

take a course in statisics and you can learn to make up misleading conclusions from real numbers for the right price.

[@Sam-es6ui]

literally

[@calamity5222]

“Scientists have estimated that 18 million fish die every three weeks due to nissan jukes”

[@calamity5222]

@Googleisgay Googleispaedos Let’s see, if I was in a science class, this would probably be how it went: “uhhh, dr. grordbroad phd, um the certified national international paper of nissan jukes and fish genocide, uhhhh yes, and yes…?”

[@Emppu_T.]

Just make shit up and sound convincing, that's how bureaucracy works

[@GrubyTolek]

"You've eaten it" "Yes I had" This is the exact moment in which Top Gear peaked.

[@mequana]

Valid

[@DrumToTheBassWoop]

The magic of this trio, can never be copied. Something about British humour, and these three crazy personalities, just worked, and made it an enjoyable watch.

[@rambo8863]

What ever those 3 are doing it will be intertaining

[@donmontague4107]

English, but otherwise a full 10 points :)

[@necruo7724]

May: c o c k Hammond: I don't even know what I'm saying Clarkson: *bullshit logic go*

[@fionnduffy9988]

James: Jeremy you got....... Richard: a gear lever in his bottom

[@mohit4387]

His name is HAMMOND

[@johnhunter7244]

@@mohit4387 his name is Richard Hammond

[@mohit4387]

@@johnhunter7244 you blithering idiot it's Hammond

[@johnhunter7244]

@@mohit4387 no you

[@RedJLP]

I am the first to arrive and as you might expect, I’ve done this properly

[@scanida5070]

You‘re literally the third, *Captain Slow...*

[@anangrycat86]

There's at least 8,000 comments before yours though

[@desmond_boyd]

@@anangrycat86 except there's only 9

[@anangrycat86]

@@desmond_boyd it's a video about made up statistics wake up mate

[@Bearial99]

That’s the best first comment on a video... in the world

[@TheRyanshift]

The scoreboard part is literally how my professors grade me after the exams

[@jasmine_pegg]

'it's got a million horsepower! and it's invisible...and it has CANNONS' the deranged look in Hammonds eyes when he says that always kills me

[@sugarnads]

Literally reading your comment as it played Hehehehe

[@_RM99]

Jezza saying "Pleeeeeeeeease" and "Sweeeeeet" compilation

[@lewishamilton.f1.44]

Or the trio trying/want to murder kill eachother compilation

[@rogehmarbi]

@@lewishamilton.f1.44 so, pretty much every challenge then

[@owenlea6505]

Not the sweet thing - that and saying Jaaaag were the only things that weren't funny, they were cringe

[@loganboy2717]

@@owenlea6505 Jaaaaag was funny the only thing that is cringe is when a 12 year old says dude is that a supra and we can all agree there😂

[@jonnyj.]

@@owenlea6505 Kids saying things are "cringe" is unbelievably fucking cringe

[@cletusclucker]

hammond, clarkson, and may backing away from the finish line for their saftey compilation

[@rayyankhan7167]

"AND ACROSS THE LINEE"

[@candycaneproductions3254]

"100% of the British people would vote for someone who's interested in formula 1" Former motoring journalist Boris Johnson: Hold my Beer...

[@nelsblair2667]

Formula 1 Party

[@KuliJens]

“I’m making it up to make a point” 😂😂😂

[@rodracer4567]

Twitter in a nutshell

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

"I shouldnt have to suffer because someone might have an Anglia" I agree with James on this.

[@NevanRead]

You forgot about the 4 million points James lost in the man with van challenge.

[@spartacus778]

that was a real stat though. the challenge was to tail gate the car. he did not do so. Minus four million was fair

[@ariqyafifatalahputraani7]

His van is too slow lol

[@n1thmusic229]

@@spartacus778 well no the real answer was how far away he was to start with as that was the closest he ever was

[@kurtlagon2023]

Its heavy

[@mikeshearer1250]

​@n1thmusic229 he was right behind them then they both started off and he never caught up

[@angithanilkumar]

I wish you included the clip where Jeremy goes around a track in an old car and goes "I'm up to 190mph now.. 200...210mph"

[@MJ-uk6lu]

Merc in Germany?

[@kalachar]

@@MJ-uk6lu Ford Sierra

[@Number69]

Don't call that an "old car" 😢

[@shriharihudli]

And across the line.

[@Kumquat_Lord]

To answer Jeremy's question in the first clip, it's because safety glass breaks into small pieces with no sharp edges. Regular glass has REALLY sharp edges when shattered

[@hanilockley8074]

You don't say

[@BillyXbox360]

Please never stop making these compilations🤣 we can never let top gear and its humour die

[@bogdan2529]

I like this Jeremy's way of hyperbolizing everything but making the numbers sound precise along with him saying articles incorrectly and using words like "unbeautiful". I guess he has probably done that 569 million times already.

[@mequana]

Lmao

[@sugarnads]

Eleventy million.

[@SweetCarolineBAMBAMBAM]

The "YUUUP!" from Richard at the end really got me

[@TonyUms]

how about a fake deaths compilation? James dying in Albania and Jeremy getting eaten by dogs are some that comes to mind

[@SamAspden]

Jeremy got blown up by an Apache in his Lotus Exige test too.

[@GeneralAeon]

"Fake" we all know James gets resurrected every episode

[@spartacus778]

James ran out of fuel trying to leave Germany and got shot

[@floatingnecc4842]

@@GeneralAeon hi saint

[@bucelliLeo]

"I shouldn't have to suffer because somebody has got an anglia." I love May's humor. It's the kind that just makes me laugh in a way that somehow end in a cough on account of how meaningful it is XD

[@bonbin6053]

Fun fact: there was 235 times Jeremy clarkson said: “it’s ridiculous” in this video

[@alexconway7882]

I hadn't even realised this was a gag. I knew the 'Hammond scoring -1000' in challenges' was a well known gag, but not this.

[@bananasstuff3344]

So you thought that a vespa actually weighed 94,000 tons?

[@crewpup9481]

@@bananasstuff3344 I mean he probably didn’t catch that.... like a lot of this stuff is minor stiff you don’t catch in the moment but so obviously fake

[@woundedsoldier1766]

"You just did" Excellent response to Jeremy instead of explaining maths 🤣

[@horvatharamadrasan]

Alternate title : "Hammond got bullied from the scoreboard by the orang utan and the spaniel"

[@tomaprd]

*Captain Slow

[@shriharihudli]

The Hamster*

[@MultiTopgearfan]

Not so much a compilation of “Fake stats”, more like a compilation of “Scoreboard after cheap car challenges” 😂

[@TheOnlyReefShark]

cry about it

[@NoFlu]

Basically a "numbers" compilation

[@youvebeengreeked]

This is hilarious. I’ve rewatched this video a thousand times.

[@kyleyates6655]

The compilation we didn’t know we needed

[@gedhoughton9523]

Sorry but ‘so I score....’ ‘ONE..’ always gets me 🤣

[@suhassubbanna]

Those handcuffs looked like it came directly out of James’s dungeon.

[@bananasstuff3344]

W a i t

[@JetFalcon710]

James' _WHAT?_

[@wolfgangamadeusmozart8772]

3:57 How did no one laugh at that joke, I missed it myself a few times but it's very funny.

[@bulbman256]

I don’t get it

[@wolfgangamadeusmozart8772]

@@bulbman256 In 1939 a group of Germans called the National Socialist German Workers Party also tried to see how fast they could drive from Germany to Poland, although they used tanks.

[@bulbman256]

@@wolfgangamadeusmozart8772 Ahh thank you music making man.

[@alexleech4490]

It's the little things that make Top Gear the best show... in the world.

[@tipturkey1283]

Oh man this makes me miss the golden age of Top Gear so much

[@projectx5154]

"Well yes, I'm making it up but I'm making it up to make the point"😂 The amount of people who actually use this logic irl and online is enormous

[@Radi_vvanker]

I love everytime he adds million to his insane numbers

[@shr2000]

Literally just opened the PC to work but this notification came just then

[@DeluxeRyan]

6:32 unreal delivery

[@nichopaulu8395]

I really like these compilations. I recently subscribed, I'm wondering if you could do a Hammond, Clarkson, & May "Immediately (or Suddenly), there was a problem" compilation.

[@GiMenish]

Love your channel, bro, keep up good work for us, Top Gear fans!

[@VoVilliaCorp]

Thanks for leaving in the bit of Hammond eating the results, that never gets old lol

[@dalepinney5001]

This reminded me of a caption in a local newspaper where residents complained of teenagers doing 0-60 in 2.5 seconds in the high street why buy a Veyron when you can have a £500 Corsa that's just as fast

[@voodoo2006]

Just buy some nitrous

[@justinjones9028]

My favorite TG compilation so far. Well done. Probably a couple more videos worth out there to be rediscovered too I believe.

[@Yusuf-sw9rm]

There should be a "top gear maths" compilation

[@sjfoster12]

Clarkson while doing Rally Cross on TG: “The number of people killed on a golf course last year was... well, nobody knows but it’s MANY MANY PEOPLE”

[@owenlea6505]

2:55 The police one is the most obvious one XD The speed section - lose 1 point for every second slower than the Stig's time Stig did 1.48 (1 minute 48 seconds) Hammond wrote - 72 (1 minute 12) which would add to a time of 3 minutes flat But Hammond did a 3.14 in that challenge (86 seconds slower than the Stig) so he should have put minus 86. Actual scores should have been: 179 for Clarkson 165 for Hamond Clarkson should have won The Police Car Challenge

[@Isaackariuki775]

Ah, did you consider the boxes hammond crashed into?

[@owenlea6505]

@@Isaackariuki775 that was worth 1 point lol. The fact is Hammond's scoring was incorrect and was higher than it should've been

[@alec4672]

1:16 "if it's one or more it's definetly an issue" Did James just back up Jeremy?? 😂😂😂

[@josephnus]

Lol this is a good compilation mate

[@henryginn7490]

"It has a top speed, and I know this because I've done it, of 1 MILLION miles per hour. A million!"

[@JJBM60]

There is literally a compilation for anything these guys do and it’s so fun

[@tharbeapancake]

“If its one or more its an issue” he said that with such genuine concern lmao we love james

[@adrielsebastian5216]

At exactly 4 minutes to 9 pm (GMT+7) I commented on this video

[@TomR459]

About 37 minutes ago

[@cvspvr]

with or without daylight saving?

[@adrielsebastian5216]

@@cvspvr without

[@lewisjh8962]

We need a Richard Hammond calling Jezza a orangutan compilation 😂

[@Comet5551]

The most common question in these segments is “is it?”

[@iBlewupthemoon98]

“We don’t make the rules, Hammond” (Yeah, we do)

[@axlepacroz]

you have missed the Van challange, where May got -4 million points. That is the best scoreboard moment lol

[@mequana]

1:10 "What you do is making that up" "Yes, but making a point, as Well"

[@Hoganply]

Technically, Jezza's statement that it takes 'minutes' to modify his P45 for indoors wasn't a lie.

[@John14710]

It’s called hyperbole, it’s what the public don’t understand about clarksons columns!

[@joeknight6151]

If there is a video title, you can make a top gear compilation about it. Love it 🤣

[@imperfectravens2410]

7:50 such a confident "yup"

[@justaprotogen8391]

"If it's one or more, it's a problem" ~james may, my new favorite quote

[@jankokol9817]

For anyone wondering why "safety glass" is broken into many small pieces instead of "4 pieces", imagine driving and a rock hits your windshield, breaking it into four large pieces of sharp material flying in different directions (including towards you in the driver's seat).

[@SamaelVR]

“What you’re doing is making that up”

[@michaelealey7370]

Jeremy: Makes up ludicrous statistic James: "If it's more than one it's an issue..." James is such an enabler...

[@gandurk]

7:11 "that's absolutely remarkable" 😅

[@RealtorCardozo]

Funniest show on Earth, change my mind.

[@dbclass4075]

Mr. Bean is a potential candidate.

[@benjidigsag2284]

Yup have never had sooooo much fun watching these lads

[@yosolo5797]

This is basically the entirety of the classic British sports car episode

[@Jugi]

"buses kill 48 badgers a week" clarkson would love buses these days i reckon

[@forbeshutton5487]

The BBC used to make 100 trillion dollars an episode from this show and they went and fucked it all up.

[@scsutton1]

This and the show with the Blue Box.

[@zeppelincraft1443]

Aaaand because of that it iiiiis…naught!

[@diwashkc7828]

Do a Jeremy Clarkson's "Let's not get bugged down by ..." compilation

[@ryanv1279]

Bogged*

[@JamesHerdTrains19]

He's done it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rKKXi2uKg7tqaZY

[@sonyviva308]

I love the scoreboard compilation you added as well. Minus 1000 is hilarious

[@matthook2530]

It’s amazing how many Clips you can make

[@KazNDS]

i often wonder how long it took for them to realise the lightning in the bottle they had with this i like to watch it as a time capsule a lot too

[@fahadahmad7088]

And there was jezzas KZbin video in the sierra cosworth " ...and coming upto 200 miles an hour...."

[@Mistertbones]

Jeremy: Why did I get that? James: You just did!

[@CarolinaCycloneJames]

Honestly though the first one does make sense. It’s not safety glass if it’s in a million small pieces flying around in an accident. It’s better off being a few big pieces or something

[@adamwent7184]

"WhY dO I gEt MInuS A tHOuSaNd FoR pOo?" - Never thought I'd laugh so hard at a question about faeces.

[@leonardnose5695]

The three greatest car presenters noone will be able to fill these legends shoes.

[@aidanw4153]

Best one yet 😂😂

[@CalculatedRiskAK]

"James, you got minus 4 million." "What, for not tailgating?"

[@red_scorpion_x]

You forgot James' "- 4.000.000 points" in a "Man With A Van Challenge".

[@JDarrylSSS]

This is elementary school type of debate during breaks lmao... Brings back great memories

[@bythecliff]

0:46 Clarkson described activists with 100% accuracy.

[@kevinbuja8105]

Oh gosh, the ambulance special was hilarious. I still lose it with Hammonds air powered ejection delivery system.

[@omarmansour630]

"Making it up to make a point" - hilarious sentence on top gear, terrifying when it comes from politicians

[@stepladder3257]

despite all this, i still believe they are still some of the most trustworthy journalists in the world, especially james

[@DS-uj3bt]

I really do miss these three....

[@Faith01841]

3:20 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS

[@medilyesoudhini7411]

The vespa one kills me everytime

[@ForzaPolska06]

We need part 2!

[@kokodjamba6657]

We all must thank Jeremy for setting up the standard for poo evaluation (-1000).

[@fredbobberts5753]

The best of all of these was the Porsche cars one where Jeremy beats them by turning his Pasha 928 into a living room seat set, followed closely by the one James won by unboxing his car on the internet which was actually a great insight.

[@dbclass4075]

Add Jeremy winning extremely cheap (£100) car challenge simply because his Volvo costs £1.

[@Asgaurd64]

Lol this reminds of of how the IMDB does there reviews.

[@AndorRadnai]

0:35 you wish, Jeremy… TB wouldn’t be a problem anymore. 😂

[@yws152]

eating 2 avocados is worse than driving a polo for a whole year 😂