How to Keep Sex Fun When You're Trying to Conceive

[@cfasp]

I really appreciate this sort of content as a child free person. It really helps me to be able to understand and sympathize with friends and family who are going through similar things as you. Thanks!

[@katybechnikova2821]

Hi, I'm chilfree and enjoying this as well!

[@nonfictionfeminist]

Same!

[@woolypuffin392]

Yeahi same 😄

[@alexiszachhuber1872]

My baby was conceived outside of what I thought was my fertile window. Keeping up with sex just because you want to has more advantages than one! Turned out, I was having an abnormally long cycle and it somehow felt extra special to become pregnant from a moment of passion rather than the schedule we’d been trying to keep.

[@khalebrobertson9907]

I don't want to ruin the 69 likes XD

[@AMomWithRocksAndBooks]

I needed to read this

[@sarvolkskaya]

I had the exact same experience 💛

[@dorissaclaire]

I also think that enthusiastic consent is more useful when talking about less established relationships, hookups, etc. I think it takes a much greater sense of trust and intimacy to be able to navigate consensual but not necessarily enthusiastic sex. It’s much easier when you know your parent well and are very very comfortable with them and you know you can ACTUALLY say no if you don’t want to. In a newer relationship, even with the best of intentions it can be intimidating if you’re maybe not SURE you want to have sex, which is why enthusiastic consent is important, because it makes sure signals don’t get crossed.

[@hannahwitton]

yes this this this!

[@SamWest96]

You've put this so well!

[@rjfaber1991]

Exactly what I wanted to comment. Seems contradictory to say enthusiastic consent is a requirement one day and claim it's optional the next, but it's all about context. PS: I suspect an autocorrect error, but it does say "when you know your *parent* well", instead of 'partner'.

[@morgan3llis001]

I think you could also argue that you are enthusiastically consenting to making a baby.

[@LemonSte]

Partner* omg

[@babitferreira]

I really admire you (and Dan) for being so open about this process. Most people only talk about it after they announce they’re expecting and I really admire you for being honest and real about the process, that takes so much courage!

[@treefrog1018]

Thank you for bringing up non-enthusiastic consent. I am on the ace spectrum (not trying to conceive) and honestly, enthusiasm is a rare occurrence for me. 9 times out of 10, sex is about the same level of excitement as making dinner on a Wednesday evening like, "Whoopdie woo, we're doin' the do and I'm cool with it."

[@hannahwitton]

Ha I love that analogy!

[@brebeeb]

omg same (ace and allo relo), like I really try to get excited about it for my partner but a lot of the time it feels more like trying to be in a good mood when you show up to work. Like yes I want to be here, but yes, there are other places I'd rather be.

[@nakymatonlapsiN]

im really happy we're shifting towards this conversation! i understand enthusiastic consent as a tool for a political movement to codify laws that require people to actively say yes rather than not saying no to sex but in the field of sex ed i think we have to move beyond that understanding of consent and allow for a more nuanced conversation. From my experience, for ace people blanket enthusiastic consent can come with a lot of pressure and even guilt and can actually make it harder to figure out if we want to have sex.

[@catherinecarver8025]

My husband and I have been trying for two years. I really expected this video to be tips on toys and lingerie and all that and I'm so thankful for what you presented instead. Unenthusiastic consent is so true. My husband and I just agree each night whether we're having "baby sex" or "fun sex" and actually letting go of the idea that each encounter had to be a full production was so freeing. Thank you for documenting this process and giving me something to enjoy during this terribly unenjoyable period.

[@iarlais397]

I'm not trying for a baby but my low libido from taking antidepressants has been a big problem in my relationship. This really helped especially you saying to kiss and cuddle and then maybe you'll get in the mood. Thank you x

[@rose191991]

i absolutely understand im.not taking medication i was thinking my low libido will just go away... but after long time yesterday i had my hormonal blood work done... hope it will be somewhat helpful 😓

[@jessycagallagher6635]

We got pregnant and lost our baby at 12 weeks and we’re heartbroken, we decided to let nature do it’s thing and I’ve just found out today we are now five weeks pregnant again. Pregnancy is certainly a tough journey but I wouldn’t change a thing 💛

[@kateg9437]

I'm sorry for your loss. Wishing you the best of luck for this pregnancy.

[@alexstephens6511]

When Hannah said 'We are a team and we need to communicate about our project' I fully expected to see a notion board...

[@mixedmetaphorMeg]

Another helpful thing to remember is that it's just a season, sex won't always be a scheduled chore forevermore just because it can feel that way when you're in the season of trying to conceive. (And when you get pregnant that just keeps going: you won't always be in the first trimester pukey phase, you won't always be 3rd trimester huge and achey, you won't always have a newborn, or a teething baby, etc) Each season has it's downsides and its joys, but none of it is permanent!

[@SamWest96]

Oh my it's good to read this right now!

[@anEllenJamesian]

So true!

[@mayastoyanovawarner7997]

Thank you for this reminder!

[@alisoni4992]

The comment you made about responsive desire being possibly abused really hit home to me because although my partner respects my boundaries, there have been times where he's wanted to have sex and I haven't really been "in the mood" so he has tried to get things going with kissing and stuff and sometimes it was okay but other times I kind of felt like once he found that kissing might get the motor running, so to speak, it felt coercive because he knew how to "unlock" a yes from me

[@LemonSte]

Same. It’s hard to navigate

[@brebeeb]

yeah this was a huge problem at the start of my current relationship, I let him get me in the mood way too often then I would feel used afterwards. What really helped was me actually figuring out how often i was willing to have sex then I could be more certain about when to accept his advances and otherwise I stop him straight away

[@lemonlemonster]

Same. It's such a fuzzy line that it can often be hard to communicate around this too

[@annah7648]

With regards to what you were saying about responsive desire - to me it’s kinda like ‘yes I’m not in the mood, BUT am I in the mood to be in the mood?’

[@laulutar]

Agreed! For me it's this plus "I'm not in the mood yet, but I wouldn't mind getting in the mood, so let's see if we can get there together".

[@jasminedoyle1724]

The red lip and red top are sooo good! Not sure if it’s different but it makes your hair colour really vibrant!

[@ehzmia]

Alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic. Do I need to be concerned about why 'alive' needed to purposely called out? 🤔

[@hannahwitton]

hahaha 😂 it's a kids' song!! 😂

[@Travelbyailsa]

@@hannahwitton it feels like that just makes it even worse 😂

[@chelseacriger4366]

We used to sing this song as a group at Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp in the morning to wake up lol

[@masonwinfreyplatman2294]

We used to have to sing this song EVERY day before class started in primary school but it was sang in the most sarcastic and unenthusiastic way possible. It was hilarious

[@JudyCZ]

@@chelseacriger4366 I used to go to the Czech version of that camp! 🥰 Why did we not have a song too? 😭

[@Lizzehh]

Thanks for sharing your story. We’ve been trying to conceive for a while too and it seems like everyone and their Grandma is getting pregnant but not us. So hard not to stress and overthink it all. Just holding out hope that our time will come soon! Hoping for you too xx

[@hannahwitton]

likewise!!

[@bookterror]

why is my asexual, single self watching this? Cause it's Hannah, that's why.

[@LiminalDoll]

Same! It's also just really helpful because I have had friends who have wanted children and I want to support them emotionally during the process that is apparently much harder than I ever realized.

[@timepatches]

lmao same

[@ays162]

Welcome to the club haha

[@nightsgrow6575]

Same 😂

[@Mariajustmary]

Same! And like The Shift said, I can also offer support and tips to friends who might be trying.

[@d.c.1851]

Hannah thank you for this. I'm not TTC but hearing someone else say "we have sex then my partner goes to play video games and I stay in bed and read" that changed my whole perception and makes me feel so much better about my relationship because we are the exact same way.

[@victoriamather2267]

This was helpful for just a child-free normal long term relationship as well, thanks!

[@Anna13Tonks]

I watch a lot of creators but I rarely feel so close as I do to Hannah, it feels as though we're friends. Thank you for informing and helping us!

[@ritazamoraamengual6883]

I'm not even trying to conceive, just love this woman's videos. Sending love to you and Dan, Hannah!

[@SpyderQueen1988]

I don't want children but I found this really useful, and I think a lot of what you said could be applied to just couples who have been together for a very long time. X

[@irismeeow]

i'm so glad you talked about the possibility of the whole responsive desire thing being abused, those were exactly my thoughts and i think it was really important to mention it. thank you

[@merveb.4673]

Hi Hannah! I would really enjoy a video about how to communicate properly with your partner/SO. Like how do I ask for my needs without making it sound bitchy ? Or i.e. since most people, especially men, can't easily open up about their emotions and feelings, how to create an environment/relationship for them to open up easier. I'm SO into the hormone diaries series, wishing you guys the best of luck with your journey!

[@4n6h4r4d]

Honestly it hit hard when you spoke about not getting caught up on what other people will think of your relationship/dynamic and working out what works for you. Me and my husband are very happy together but often people outside the relationship act like we are on the verge of breaking up and try and get us to be nicer to each other but honestly both of us appreciate the blunt honest attitude from the other. If one of us gets annoyed with the other we tell them straight away, we argue it out and then move on. Nothing is ever bottled up so neither of us ever stays annoyed for too long and we move on really quickly. When people first start spending a lot of time with us and notice how much we bicker they get so worried for us but honestly it’s how we work best and well sometimes it’s just hilarious to take the piss out of each other. So thank you for talking about that!

[@gyja9799]

Please take care of your mental health on this journey ❤️ We struggled for a while to concieve, and my doctor said to not count the first 6 months after stopping birthcontrol, as your cycle is readjusting. It can take up to 2 years to readjust so be careful to not wear yourself thin in the mean time. I noticed that you said you’ve been trying for a “really long time” but actually it’s been about 9 months since you got your coil out, and not counting the first 6 months, it would be absolutely extraordinary to have concieved already. You are doing so well, keep the faith ❤️ I recommend filling your days with friends and laughter and even the occational night out drinking and “letting your hair down”.. the joy that a good shared night with friends, dancing, laughing etc. really helped me “truly” relax and then I concieved. Best of luck ❤️

[@azboeli3376]

I love that I'm a 17 yr old who's never really been in a relationship and everytime you upload I'm like oh wow yes please! And how just brilliant this content is ahahah

[@maespiegel]

Literally same

[@Toriapardoe]

This video is actually super helpful for pregnancy too, weirdly! I'm 23 weeks along and early on my symptoms killed our sex life, and then once I was more okay around 20 weeks, the scan killed it all over again because our baby was all the more real to us and he's right there all the time! It feels like a chore, and is super hard to get into the mood for, plus options for how to are so much more restricted. These tips are so good. I'm absolutely loving seeing these videos from you. There's not enough talk about the conception journey and how complicated it can really be. Thank you for helping to get the conversation going!

[@jenniferkary9622]

I’ve really been enjoying these videos!! My partner and I are going through a similar situation and it’s so encouraging to see someone else going through the same thing! Thank you for making these types of videos and sharing your knowledge and experiences! 😊❤️

[@baleigh6773]

My partner and I are starting to try after this menstrual cycle, thank you for this!!! I dont want it to feel like work I want to keep it fun and exciting

[@tomnewham1269]

Taking the piss out of any situation is what us Aussies are good at and it is documented that our humour is derived from our British ancestry roots. In regards to timing of your intimacy Hannah, it maybe unique but do what works for you and Dan. Perhaps more of us could do a similar thing and do what works for ourselves, not go by conventional ideals. Thanks so much for sharing such a personal journey Hannah. I must admit I just watched out of curiosity and by all means I have no plans on starting a family of my own.

[@mschrisfrank2420]

Really appreciate the discussion of the “enthusiastic consent” model. Sometimes just the idea that I have to meet some metric of enthusiasm makes it harder to have sex.

[@alisonmoffatt7044]

The "bespoke solution" is also very important in other aspects of life and especially important for when your baby does come along. As parents is very easy to worry about something your baby/child is doing because it doesn't fit with what's "expected at that age" when actually very often a bespoke solution will work best for you both physically and mentally. Having that mind set is so important! Thank you for making this point!!

[@Aussieminion]

When this video hits home between my wife and myself. We've been unsuccessful of late, but we're still trying. We both said it feels like a chore at times esp with a 2 week window where it did feel like a chore towards the end. I wish you both luck on your journey together.

[@feyt.9049]

Im truly loving all of the content around desire and attraction recently because I find it so helpful with things that I am struggling with. I am on the ace spectrum and identify with somewhere in the demi or grey range which means that I very rarely find myself attracted to my partner or desiring anything sexual. There are things that we can do to help with that, but over all my desire levels are WAY lower than theirs. Ive been trying to show them these videos as a way to kind of explain how I have been feeling and how we can work together to meet in the middle. Ive also found it really helpful to destigmatizw within myself the difference between attraction and desire because I very much suffer from the "you aren't ace enough" mentality in regards to myself. So just saying a very big thank you for all of this content

[@ClarityTheParody]

I never want to be pregnant 💕just here for the nerdy info

[@polanito7467]

same here! just interested in learning about different experiences :)

[@ShroomAndMoss]

Same x) nerding is so weird

[@richemmerson1939]

Great video, and really important on the end point about having that joking ability with your partner. It's so essential for me and my lass to be daft with each other and have that release/bond- ESPECIALLY in stressful times as it really helps keeps things in proportion and facing stuff together. Pretty much a good guideline for relationships as a whole.

[@mimikamukherjee5544]

Nerding it out with you about sex ed, books and movies in a pub seems like the best idea! Also, I love the idea of bespoke solution. I think it can work for partners even if they are not trying to conceive. It is important to communicate about individual needs and patterns. Sometimes, one partner might feel the need to compromise on their schedule/likings, which is not ideal. I don't know why nobody talks about these things. You are literally the best!

[@Beci1509]

I feel you on the bedtimes and scheduling intimacy in a long term relationship.

[@sallys.2707]

We do like you and Dan sometimes. My main partner and I don't have the same sleep needs. Sometimes we go to bed, have sex, cuddle a bit and then I just fall asleep and he just go play video games or watching online course. It's great. We feel great and intimate like that.

[@catherinecase1142]

My partner and I are the same way, and we (gasp!) don't always sleep in the same bed. It's really about finding what works for you and not worrying what a "perfect" relationship is supposed to look like.

[@oreokitty333]

Same here! I talk in my sleep and my partner snores. We're both obnoxious to sleep with. Plus I have a cat who likes to cuddle sleeping humans, who my partner is allergic to. So we can just hang out, have sex, cuddle, play games or watch TV together, and then I just go and sleep in my own bed with my own cat in my own space. It's great and maintaining your identity as a different person is always important. It's working out for us.

[@lisakay2810]

Honestly I think this is really common for people that don't have the same sleep schedule.

[@collectingetc]

My wife and I tried for four years. Then one day it finally happened to make a long story short. But yes, it did feel like punching a time clock. It just wasn’t fun after a while.

[@marybeaumont3061]

Hannah you’re truly amazing for sharing this journey honestly - these videos could help and support so many people

[@niamhmoloney]

I both enjoy this immensely and see it as prep for when I’m gonna do this

[@adamn7777]

You and Dan have exactly the same sleep habits as me and my wife. It'snice to know we're not alone in this dynamic

[@kimflaherty5327]

Same here, I'm asleep before he comes to bed most nights

[@adamn7777]

@@kimflaherty5327 that's how things are with me and my wife but part of the reason we do that is because she's like the princess and the pea so any noise would keep her up so I like to give her a head start

[@kopfbisfuss5370]

Even though I am not trying to conceive or anything, the part where you talked about your different sleep schedules is such good advice. I like to go to sleep early too as I am more of a morning person and I always wondered how other couples still get a good portion of intimacy during the week with different routines. Thank you for this ❤

[@deboragrenzel5201]

We're (definitely) not trying to conceive, but watching this video I just learned me and my husband have a scheduling problem and we might need a bespoke solution. XD

[@WickedBlackSnow]

I love hearing about your journey, My wife and I have been on the road to conceive too. But as 2 females we have a (expensive) medical road to follow. I often catch myself thinking "Ugh straight people can just bang and be pregnant" following your journey and your struggles really helps me put that thought in a better perspective. Naturally I hoped for you that you guys would be the conformation of the thought! But I don't know, somehow it feels less alone hearing your - very different - struggles? And it makes me less, jealous? I think? - I don't know, I hope I don't seem mean or say anything hurtful, that's not what I mean, I just try to say thanks, for being so honest and open.

[@makaroner1174]

Dunno if this makes you feel better (hope it does❤️) but if you ever hear from a doctor that it might be hard for you to conceive don't get to down on yourself! I was told it would be hard for me because of my irregular (and few) periods and I managed to get pregnant! (am now lol). My mom was told she would never have children because of her having only 1 ovarie and she has three. Took a while to get pregnant (3years) but she managed. I realised that last part might not be what you wanted to hear If you are trying to be a young mom (I'm 25) but you will be a wonderful mom regardless of any possibly "non ideal situation" Btw I love your videos! They are very informative and fun. Been watching since I was 17❤️🌸

[@marianneshepherd6286]

This is such a great video and I feel that it applies to my own situation. Although my partner and I aren't trying for a baby we have struggled with connecting sexually. We've decided to organise it into our busy lives which I think can seem like its not fun but that's only because alot of sex in media is always shown as impulsive. X

[@hannahwitton]

yes these suggestions can absolutely apply outside of TTC in general if you are looking for more sexy times!

[@stagetopage]

This video is fantastic. It really does sound so stressful trying to conceive, my heart really does go out to you. I would love to know the kind of things to say/not to say to someone that's trying to conceive. Like I want to say, "Fingers crossed it happens soon", but does that make someone feel more pressured? As someone that will never be trying for a baby, I'm just curious so I can be the best possible friend to someone in that situation!

[@hannahwitton]

thanks for asking! it's such a weird one because I definitely also have my fingers crossed and I think the way I receive comments changes day to day depending on my mood and how I'm feeling about it all. One that I keep flipping back and forth on is when people say "when you get pregnant" because I feel like they're jinxing it and being presumptuous but then I also feel like they're being positive and hopeful. Saying "if" feels more realistic but also pessimistic... I think one of the main things to do would be to follow their tone and match it. So don't be sad/anxious/worried for them because when I've had people project a different emotion on to me than the one I'm feeling it feels really weird and like they expect me to be reacting a certain way and I'm not meeting their expectations. But if you match how they're feeling (or ask! instead of immediately taking a pitying tone) then that feels so much better. this was a long response - hope it helps!

[@francescahurst160]

I would be conscious that a lot of the time people won't necessarily tell you they're trying to conceive, so it's really important to mind your language around all people who are able to get pregnant who are in long term relationships with people who are able to get them pregnant. Don't be asking people when they're planning on having children because they might have been trying for a long time and not had it happen (or could have gone through miscarriages etc) and this will just make them feel worse. I would only speak about it with someone who has actually brought it up with you, and agree with Hannah saying to sort of match their tone on it, if it feels like a positive conversation, go with it, it they seem down about it, don't necessarily go about trying to make them feel better but just be there to listen even if you don't understand it yourself.

[@stagetopage]

@@francescahurst160 Oh yes, definitely. I've been with my husband for 7 years and am biologically able to have children, but can't because of health conditions i have - and people STILL ask me repeatedly when I'll be having children, and how we're missing something in our lives. I feel like other people are so involved in something that is so personal; whether you are trying for a baby or not, you know? I just want to be the best possible person I can whatever situation a person is in.

[@WhereDidIndiGo]

This whole reemergence of the hormone diaries is soooooo interesting! I’m not planning on having kids any time soon but it’s such useful stuff to know and help learn to be more empathetic to friends and family when/if they go through it. Hannah your channel is 🔥 atm (i mean it’s always been 🔥) but you can really see your interest and needing out coming through and I’m here for it! Also thanks so much for being vulnerable and open during this time and experience you’re having, I’m sure it’s not been easy and you’ve probably wanted to just not share anything at some points but I really appreciate it! Xx

[@WeAllLovePineapples]

This was really helpful, open and honest, thanks Hannah :) I scrolled down through the comments at one point and oooof some of them seem particularly icky today! I hope you don't feel discouraged or too frustrated by what some people have been writing. Thanks for being open and vulnerable in these videos

[@ninogriogi0]

Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again is such a good book!! Highly recommend

[@KirstieFagan]

I really enjoyed this Hannah! I should have watched this months ago as i don’t think me and my partner had the best approach to ttc for the first 6/7 months. I’m pregnant now (we conceived at month 9) but the experience did give us some relationship challenges. So here’s what *not* to do.... DONT read some dodgy advice online that says the best approach is to have sex EVERY DAY of your fertile window, then decide that this window should be 10 days long to give a margin of error 😬 I’m proud that for the most part we still had lots of great pleasurable sex, but there were also plenty of uti’s, soreness and occasional erection wobbles by the end of each cycle of trying 😕 At around 6 months when we started using ovulation sticks I also learnt that I ovulate a bit later than my 31 day cycle would suggest, so the poor old sperm was possibly quite depleted by the time I actually had a chance of getting pregnant 😭 We switched to ‘every-other-day’ sex and fell pregnant the second month, so alls well that ends well I guess!

[@SarahS-di1he]

your "bespoke sex solution" made me laugh so much but it's funny because for my partner and myself it's not one we ever had to "solve." He's a night owl and I can hang in until around 12, but then need my sleep, so we often find ourselves having sexy times earlier in the evening and then he'll play video games and I'll either do the same or maybe go to bed. Never felt the need to go to sleep together immediately after having sex, different experiences are so fun to learn about!

[@katiahorton]

It made me laugh when you said ‘communication - this one goes without saying’ 🤣

[@hannahwitton]

Omg lol that was an accident 😂

[@sannecheney-steijger]

OMG YESSSSS FERTILITY AWARENESSSS can't wait for that video

[@meganrose9093]

Hannaaaaah I'm always so excited to see these episodes, it's so important and being so open and honest and educational with this is so awesome. Love it and love you

[@jeska1995]

I’ve conceived five pregnancies and sadly lost 4 but gave one son. My best TTC tips are: Clear blue digital ovulation tests. These helped so much as it turns out I ovulated really late in my cycles and helped me realise that I’d been TTC on the wrong days! Definitely folic acid/multivitamins while trying. The only pregnancy that resulted in a baby I’d taken these daily for 3 months before TTC. Get your hips up after sex. Not legs in the air, but a pillow under your butt. I’m no pro, and I had a very frustrating and sad journey to have my son but hang in there, you will get there!! ❤️

[@alysiaeroy]

Miss the old intro but love the new one and how it matches all your other branding :D

[@pennywalker2143]

Love this video, so relatable! 😊 Our strategy is if we aren’t in the mood and too tired to put in the effort to get in the mood...he does the deed independently and we use a syringe to inseminate! Takes the pressure off him and preserves our intimacy.

[@cupofteapronto6715]

Always enjoy your videos! All the best to you and Dan.

[@AMomWithRocksAndBooks]

We're trying and I've gotten discouraged by things being great leading up to my possible fertile window and then closer to it he's exhausted, or we're super busy. I needed to hear that I can miss a window and not beat myself up.

[@ojiverdeconfleco]

This was great!! Would have loved a video like this last year when we were TTC. One thing that helped me a ton was just continuing my psychotherapy and having that space, exclusively mine, to deal with it all and keep my privacy (obviously a lot of communication with my partner, but it really helps to have a private space of one's own as well, even if we have the same exact conversations). Same with masturbation, because otherwise it feels like sex and intimacy is only for TTC and nope! Another thing that helped us was just taking a break from serious TTC altogether, and not counting that month as part of the "12 months of trying before bringing it up to the fertility doctors", so a very chilled approach, even using condoms again. Otherwise it feels like "time wasted", but it isn't! It's part of the JoURneY and completely okay

[@MsMaddieTheOdd]

Always appreciate your honesty in this process. As someone who is ambiguous on parenting children, it's really interesting to hear about the strategy of it.

[@emma.greenwood]

In many ways this video could be titled 'How to keep sex fun in a long term relationship' 😊

[@spriddlez]

I'm one of those folks with no intention of having kids so one would think I'm just here for curiosity sex nerd sake. But there was stuff in there about responsive desire that would apply to any sexual relationship - especially a longer term one.

[@joannahallman2527]

Such a helpful video, thanks for sharing!! My partner and I both work shifts and only go to bed at the same time together 2 nights in 10, so 'traditional' bedtime sex is not the norm for us either! We are trying to conceive now too and so an afternoon pre-work sesh is normally what works for us... plus puts you in a better mood for work! Really useful info re enthusiastic consent etc too thanks!

[@robertmenzies3032]

After decades of marriage and taking 7 years to conceive my (now 10 year old )daughter the biggest thing that we learned is for half of my wife’s cycle she hates sex even being initiated but that’s when sexual currency is critical (ie kisses) then the other 50% of the cycle make an effort and initiate. But never get the timing wrong else the mood is gone and you could blow the whole month. Communication .... so important.

[@Chelseabee55]

She hated intimacy but you continued to initiate sex by kissing?

[@robertmenzies3032]

@@Chelseabee55 no that’s not what I am saying. At times of the month, sex is off the cards but at those same times physical affection, showing that I love her (that would not lead to sex in any way) were very important. Hence kissing, cuddling, being tactile was super important, just nothing more.

[@bimaloxley]

Thought I'd add, I learnt a great phrase the other day - authentic consent! To me it sounds so much more realistic and allows the nuances of consent between people as it's never so black and white, or highly enthusiastic. As the window of willingness is, enthusiasm may not always be there, but genuine authentic agreement may be :) 🧡🧡🧡 Edit: I read a comment further down that enthusiastic consent may be better for newer relationships, rather than older. Which makes so much more sense. But also can set some up to fail as that's just not their style... It's so complex gahhh!

[@ivorydabean1479]

Me and my partner can't wait till we start trying for a baby, we're learning a lot from your series! I really wish we could put the knowledge to use soon but alas we are not in a suitable situation and probably far from it

[@tessamcguire]

Same boat, just learning for much later at this point

[@alisalaska1786]

First month actively ttc and hubby already has trouble 😭. Missed four most fertile days. But thankfully I was able to convince him to make a dr appointment. We typically are only intimate every 1-3 months so saying sex drive is low is an understatement 🤣

[@newbiegaming6090]

I definitely enjoy watching your videos simply for the educational value. It's like watching one of Dr. Lindsey Doe's videos. Both of you are my favorite sex ed channels on KZbin. Keep up the amazing work!

[@elizabethrambles]

Thank you for this Hannah, we’ve been trying to convince for 3+ years now and it’s getting harder and harder!

[@LizTiddington]

Your pre-conceiving bedtime schedule made me laugh, because it's *exactly* the same as me and my partner... Only problem is, his computer is in our bedroom (but only for a few months more 🤞)

[@Nick-ik4kw]

This video was gold! Thank you Hannah. This video was very helpful to me and my relationship. Wishing you the best conceive a healthy happy baby! :)

[@just1lilguy]

Thank you for doing these videos 🌻 I'm on the same journey and it's so good to hear how other people go about it.

[@jdsleppy]

This is a great video, thanks. I finally understand "responsive desire", I guess I just needed to hear you define it enough times! I'm interested to hear how desire and logistics change post baby and how you deal with that, too. Breastfeeding is a big hormonal event to deal with, and it lasts for months.

[@shesaysdisco]

Red lips + red shirt = winning combination!!!

[@annam1577]

Hannah, if you haven't read 'Taking control of your fertility' by Toni Weschler, you really, really should! SO MUCH INFO - excellent for sex and fertility nerds!

[@bimaloxley]

I think your comment on the fertility awareness last video was fair, because it's not AS reliable as other hormonal/barrier methods, that's a fact, and even if we do know our bodies to a T, it can change. So it's about being aware of that, I guess poopooing the whole method will hurt people, but also is all about education. I certainly know people who've gotten pregnant with this method....

[@KiSeaKatikka]

"it's better that you didn't like force yourself to have sex". ~ pearls of wisdom that really validate healthy existence

[@uploadingjess]

I might be the only one, but I think having 'Hormone Diaries' in the title or thumbnail would be nice! I like to follow your journey but sometimes miss a video because I don't realise what it is

[@hannahwitton]

All the blue/red thumbnails are THD and there’s a playlist of all the videos too!

[@littlemusic4x]

Thank you for this content. It's so helpful to understand how people trying for a baby feel. I really hope everything works out for you.

[@muchachika]

Good luck and thank you for the tips. They truly can work for couples who are struggling with having sex due to work or just life. Also I agree with what Dan said in other video: there's a time for it and it will happen or not happen. I feel like you just dropped your contraception system and your body needs readjusting 🥳

[@LotjeG]

I'm one of the amazingly lucky people that got pregnant on the first try for both our children (I still don't know how that happened) but I'm still watching this with interest. My first pregnancy I had no sex drive for months and my second pregnancy I was feeling angry all the time thanks to my hormones. The changes to my body after the fact have been fine, the emotional hits I took were pretty massive though. Getting back into things after going through that has not been easy. My mindset/general approach definitely need work.

[@ebbflowconsulting]

I'm not currently trying to get pregnant, but I love your energy and vibe so much! It feels like the sex ed I never got. Thank you so much, Hannah!!

[@ianlevine273]

Hannah I have two suggestions: First I would suggest looking in to measuring and tracking your basal temperature to learn when you ovulate. Second, we also found that if we abstained for a bit longer than a normal used to be before we started trying, it was less of a chore because we were both impatient for it by then.

[@caitie226]

thanks hannah for your generosity in sharing your story!

[@ladyylavender]

Hiiii hannah! Not sure if you'll see this buuuut I really love this video series! Im not looking to become pregnant however after getting a total colectomy Ive struggled a lot with having sex. Anyway your videos have been really helpful 💖

[@timhaynes4967]

I remember those times. It certainly can feel like a chore. But the pregnant sex certainly made up for it!!! We use to defenatly chang things up. Morning, arftanoon and spontaneous sex. Helped keep it fun. Love you story and honesty. Thanks.

[@lisak3257]

I currently don’t have a partner and it‘ll be more than 5 years until I even want children. But because I have many risk factors for having problems with trying to get pregnant, I often worry about how it will be and if I will be to old etc etc. So your videos really help me, because they show that there are things that you can control and even if it might be difficult, you can maintain a good relationship with your partner and your sexuality. And bonus points for all the stuff I learned about sex drive in this video!

[@SamWest96]

Loved this! I'm really enjoying this content while at the same time feeling sad for you that there's so much of it. Our daughter is 7 months old and after being completely adamant we were done, I got hit like a 10 tonne truck with the baby bug. No one told me how dramatically it hits! We're in no place for another baby for a few years and yet here I am watching this, thinking about babies again despite having one 😂

[@chupacabra509]

Great video. Might i suggest you play some Barry White or 90's love slow jams?

[@ugh2748]

Mygirlfriend is now at the point where the pregnancy test is called “the monthly disappointment” it’s been a long 10 months.

[@aeolia80]

omg!!! need this, lol. Honestly, when I still had my IUD, sex was more about quality and not quantity, and we only did it about 4 times a month at the most, but I was ok because it was fulfilling, for both of us. Now that we're kinda trying to conceive, and doing it every other day for the week I should be ovulating, it's hell, and boring, and painful, and annoying, my guy loves it and for the most part is oaky with doing it like this, but me, (this may be tmi) my nips started hurting so bad from play that I told my guy to lay off of them for almost a month for them to heal, hahahaha. We're not gonna go the fertility doctor route at all. I'm 40 and not desperate enough to get pregnant to go that route, so we're gonna try this for about a year, and if nothing, then I think we'll stop trying

[@itsema91]

My partner always passes out asleep after sex whereas I usually feel quite energised. I will stay in bed for 10 minutes or so and then get up and leave him to sleep. It's not a cute romantic comedy scene but it works for us :D I'm not gonna lie there like a potato for an hour wide awake!

[@fishgirlreturns]

10/10 best intro to a video ever 🤣🤣🤣

[@GloriaTulwan]

Love the "rich woman on holidays" red outfit! ❤️

[@Kickilia]

A bit on the working around different sleep schedules; my partner and I do this (and we're definitively not trying to conceive atm!) because I sleep between 5-6 am to 4-6 pm (or longer) and am awake during the evening/night - it's what works best for my health. However, my partner goes to sleep between 10 pm and 2 am, and then gets up after 8-ish hours. I also get super energized by sex, so I will tag along to bed and then I get up again and tuck them in when my partner start getting on the "no longer responding with actual words because asleep" level!😊 We're very insistent on consent and we always check (several times) that we're both consenting even if it isn't enthusiastic right then, but it's of course also totally fine if someone is sleepy or changes their mind! I've actually fallen asleep while cuddling and attempting to get in the mood!😆 So sure, it can sound strange to have one partner get up again but it really works for us as well. It's definitely worth considering giving it a try, I think. Wonderful video and good bits of advice! Thank you!😊

[@SamiiWoolz]

So my periods and ovulation are luckily very consistent. Down side. Each month my ovulation days land on my "work week" I work nights one on and one off.. so all sexy time has to be planned either when I get in from work before he starts work or when I wake up for work and he's just finished work.. fun times.

[@Aussieminion]

Oh that's rough. But if you both have a system and it works for you two, then keep it up. My wife has a rotating roster where some days she'll finish at 9pm (working from home luckily) so I imagine we'll have to schedule during her break to try, because I'm usually in bed by then haha