Being Trans and Testosterone | The Hormone Diaries Ep. 14 | Hannah Witton

[@valhalla1240]

I guess I'm a cis-woman, but I was never able to pin down how and why exactly I am female. That was until I had to wear a unisex-uniform as a waitress and I hated myself. I don't even dress up that girly in my daily life, but somehow a big shirt, a vest and a tie made me feel so uncomfortable. My body transformed in a way that I didn't enjoy at all and I remember thinking to myself: oh god, that's what trans people go through every day. What a nightmare... I remember a friend who's trans, who told me he didn't go swimming for years before transitioning, because he was so uncomfortable in a female body. That made me so sad, but I'm glad it's getting easier and more and more people are okay with it.

[@kiacrepuscolara]

“i wouldn’t have worn make up if i didn’t have a beard” this is so fascinating and it gave me a lot to think about

[@felixc543]

findmychocolatefrog (nonbinary) trans man here! in my case, I'm waiting on a beard before I can occasionally wear skirts again- like, I want to be able to wear whatever I want, but only if it won't get too in the way of people seeing me for the gender I am... Honestly I'm mostly just really insecure, haha- hope you don't mind my reply on an old comment

[@cathysimcock9691]

Love Alex's description of his transition just changing personal traits, not going from female to male. That makes so much sense! Loved this video!

[@Hexelovemarlene]

This was so educational !!! As a Cis female I was not aware of certain points of being trans and this just made me understand it so much more! Thank u hannah and thanks Alex and jake for being so open ❤️

[@theorosef]

Jake's voice is so soothing and nice to listen to ????? Like DAMN

[@kapilbusawah7169]

sounds like a teenager that hasn't graduated puberty fully yet

[@eviesharp17]

he sings as well and it’s amazing

[@naomifitzgerald1403]

You should talk more about gender identity, with trans women and more non-bianary people and just more people in general; as a young cis person with young trans friends, I really love learning more about this topic.

[@naomifitzgerald1403]

(she/her)

[@EBraam-x8u]

Naomi Fitzgerald you should def. read both her book and his book if you haven’t already!

[@naomifitzgerald1403]

E Braam yeah I'm really hoping to at some point, but my parents don't really understand the youtube community

[@ellisbryant4874]

You should check out some transgender women channels such as stef Sanjati and Riley J Dennis.

[@adelehammond1621]

but it would be nice for cis youtubers to educate their audience

[@dontrestyourhead]

Trans girl here (tragically not on HRT yet ) I cry maybe once a year and it's always when something really bad happens. Like it happens once a year and then it's an explosion of upset, with no in between. Hannah please do an episode where you talk with trans girls about hormones thanks love you byeee!

[@oliver-tz5dr]

Do you have Instagram? Not a stalker I swear 😂

[@DaisySore]

Woah this was super interesting

[@DaisySore]

I really like the episodes of the Hormone Diaries with other people. It’s nice to have more than one perspective.

[@isabellabornberg2153]

daisyjsore I agree

[@AndrewPowerTower]

Yay! This was so interesting and I'm glad to see trans people in this series about hormones (I suggested it on a previous video haha).

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

Hannah, just to clarify in case you weren't aware, Transgender Day of Remembrance is a day to remember and mourn transgender people who have died, usually either by violence against them or by suicide relating to hostility or inability to transition. Some trans people feel that it isn't a day for allies and awareness. You might want to bare that in mind when you discuss Transgender Day of Remembrance in the future.

[@mariamicallef8151]

re: hormones and mood changes/personality changes, it's important to note that trans men or women in the process of HRT are essentially in puberty, and are still adjusting to a very sudden shift in their hormones. most cis people will have a more subtle(?) introduction of elevated hormone levels leading up to and during puberty, and eventually acclimatise -- hence the stereotype of stroppy and moody teens. as an aside: I'm a rubbish communicator of science, and also just going off what I learnt at uni, so I'm sorry if any of this is completely unclear

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Is HRT more sudden and a bigger difference in hormones then puberty? Could it also be different because it is not naturally produced hormones? Teens going trough puberty also don't have a fully developed brain. Is HRT just testosterone or is it other chemicals?

[@crazedcat09]

i am shook- I used to watch Alex and Jake ages ago and idk what happened I just phased out of watching a lot of people and this is the first time I have seen them in years and they have changed so much! u go guysss, so proud!

[@elliottluke6020]

buying alex's book for my parents so they better understand the trans experience and how to help me through my transition because they're doing so well so far i feel so lucky

[@ryantrue4844]

Firstly the little intro stop motion thing was awesome and secondly love learning when watching your videos! Love how open you all are. Also adding Trans-mission to my book list

[@charlottesreadsthings211]

This may seem odd,but what I really love about your interviews is that you get really vocal in how you respond to things you didn't know and just in general. It shows that you really care about the topic and who you're talking to.

[@blackk_rose_]

that's how you should do it: talking WITH people of certain groups about their experiences instead of talking over and about them while they aren't present. well done hannah! and i also love alex & jake so that makes it even better

[@martzquinn]

THIS WAS SO INTERESTING. i love having the opportunity to learn more about the trans community, and they all have such soothing and calming voices?? best video ever

[@ceven8037]

i haven't watched either jake's or alex's videos in years and i didn't recognise them!!! honestly the power of hormones is wild

[@livebyyourdesign]

13:00 that is exactly how i feel as a nonbinary trans male, too!! i'm very "feminine" much of the time but i never felt like i could really embrace my femininity before going on testosterone. thanks for sharing your experiences!

[@laura_underscore]

Your point about the differences within groups being larger than differences between groups applies not only to sex but all other categories of people as well. It's one of the reasons why individualism makes sense as a political ideology.

[@rainbowcub2418]

Yes! Hannah is finally talking about this! With trans people!

[@suzanneparkes8259]

Please explore all things gender in this series it's so informative and interesting. As a mum of 2 I wanted to be as clued up as possible especially as my 14 yr is learning what their sexuality and gender might be 😍

[@biancac412]

Uh, your child is the gender they were born as. Don't brainwash your child, if they don't have gender dysphoria, they're not trans!

[@JB-fn4dq]

I recently realized that I'm a trans boy/non-binary I'm still in the closet and I don't know much about the details of going through testosterone and transitioning so watching this video helped me a lot. I relate a lot to the things that were mentioned in this video. Thank you Hannah for making this video. I hope you make more.

[@brynn7035]

I have been watching Jake and Alex for so long, but I've missed a couple of months worth of videos, so seeing them now, seeing how much more comfortable they are in their own skin, just makes me so so happy for you

[@maryjoysanderson]

this is so interesting (esp. the fact that testosterone impacts ability to cry!!!), and I absolutely love Alex and Jake, ive seen a few of their videos before and they just give such a chill and comforting vibe it's so nice.

[@tam9639]

This is the collaboration I have dreamed of ❤️

[@nicoledanisario7238]

Tristen

[@sairbear444]

I love your channel so much. I am really into sex-posi channels and creators, but I think you're the only one I follow that I find personally reflects the way I choose to express my sexuality (not to ever hate on anyone's sex life!!) Also, I love your combo of scholarly info and real-life info. It makes all the topics much more manageable and personable, rather than being only risque or only dry and eduational :) love you Hannah!

[@NotPMHarper]

I got so excited when I saw you three collaborating!

[@litchick4060]

They are both so cute!

[@natassa9297]

Well this was a collab I didn't know I needed. I love that you're educating people who might not know much about these things!

[@frankmackenzie8163]

I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you.

[@FlorDeLaEspreanza]

This was soo good and informative. Also thanks for introducing us to Alex and Jake!

[@jaypearce6743]

You're the best, making an environment for these two to be comfortable

[@kelso14]

HANNAH!! I literally posed that question about reconciling being trans while adhering to binary models of gender to my boyfriend 2 days ago over brunch!! Like you read my mind across the world and presented that question to two people who could provide so much insight and satisfy my curiosity on the subject. THANK YOU! SUCH an important and interesting video!!

[@TManNick17]

As a trans guy, I really appreciate that you added this perspective of hormones to this series!

[@Marie-zf4rr]

This is my first comment so far but I have been following your account for years now! I really love what you are doing and the energy, spirit and openness you transmit throughout all of your videos! I've really liked this one because I have just finished last week a long paper on transsexual people rights and self-determination which opened my mind to a whole new world that I better understand now. This video would have been perfect to show to the all class during my presentation, we need more awarness and understanding! Maybe next time ;) Keep doing videos like that, all 3 of you were so cute! 💖

[@nanyprincesa]

Hannah, this is so intelligent! I'm so happy you've brought both of them to the series, I love this!

[@savbison599]

got question about the whole “gender is a construct but then obviously support people who transition to the “opposite” gender” is something i think about and wonder 24/7. just yesterday i was wishing i was close to someone who is trans and open about the gender spectrum to talk to them about this because it’s a constant thought in my head - i definitely hope you all about it more!

[@eci2404]

soooooo informative! being a cis woman, I can't explain how much I appreciate this kind of videos! THANK YOU

[@kevinhoward9593]

Alex's book is one of the Top 10 books in multiple categories.

[@RebeccaBeckery]

The beginning makes me so sad already oml. Also yasssss another hormone diary 😍Also she/her 💁🏻 Casually editing as I watch the video lmao

[@NotPMHarper]

I can’t cry anymore either! I used to suppress crying and then would cry for two hours once a month but now I just can’t do it. I can feel them welling up and my face getting red but they don’t spill over.

[@felixc543]

As a nonbinary trans guy, I was really glad to see this video- I barely know any other trans guys, but it was so great to see that other people have some similar experiences to me...

[@maddieev]

An important topic, and presented in such an engaging and enjoyable way! Thanks, Hannah, for making these videos and making a conscious effort to educate yourself and your viewers alike.

[@tessrach1]

HOLY SHIT the way Jake and Alex describe not being able to cry but really really wanting to is EXACTLY how I felt when I was on the pill (Rigevidon). I hadn't heard anyone else articulate it before. :O

[@polinagonch]

THIS IS MINDBLOWING oh my god THANK YOU this is so interesting i`m going to think about it for a long time now! also gonna send it to my friends HANNAH YOU ARE GODESS!

[@toe300]

I've been subscribed to Alex and Jake for even longer than I have been to you! I love you all, great colab :)

[@TexasBoyRob]

I love the way you edit the videos lolol. This is a amazing sit down with all of y'all!!! I have shared it on my Facebook and Twitter. Very informing and educating!!! Thank you

[@othmanechenguiti8119]

I'm in love with the cis/straight people like you who are really supportive to every LGBTQI thing, that's so lovely Thanks a lot!

[@caitlinrobinson4157]

OMG I HAVENT WATCHED ALEX IN SO LONG, I FORGOT HE EXISTED TBH I USED TO WATCH HIM ALL THE TIME AND HE HAS TRANSITIONED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST SAW HIM (jake too obvs) IM SO AMAZED LOTS OF LOVE!! Sorry for shouting lol Lots of love

[@madeleineporter6045]

This was so interesting! And I literally saw Alex's book in my school library today- I didn't realise it had been released so recently

[@flora-zu1ez]

oh my god !! such an unexpected yet lovely collab- you’re all delightful

[@laura_underscore]

Good on you for asking the question at 7:47

[@tonydimeo1882]

Laura O C Hannah is very smart

[@whatgenderami]

also, i loved this video. thanks for the sit down and chat!

[@masonroebuck1293]

Omg I’ve watched Hannah for about 5yrs now and Alec for 2yrs and I love them both so much and I’ve only just seen this video in 2018 and I’m so happy you are all so amazing

[@allieconzola]

This is so cool! I love when you have genuine, friendly conversations with people who are different from you! Also it's v awesome that they were both cool with talking about this, especially the gritty details :o

[@BlaiddGoch]

Yeah, the crying thing is a thing. I'm a cis (ish) dude and it's maddening when you want to cry and it feels like your tear ducts shut themselves. Singing/screaming sad or angry songs really helps me get the emotion out rather than stewing in bad brain juices for the day.

[@CulturePhilter]

Darkly Dave - interestingly as Cis male I've found that since becoming a dad I cry a lot more. At sad thing in movies and tv especially.

[@catsandstrawberries]

The way alex looks at jake is so sweet omg ❤️

[@aellalee4767]

I will make sure to suggest that book to a lot of people I know. I had a psych teacher who covered gender identity in a part of class and I had to point out a few discrepancies. And had a coworker who never realized that her trans son(who she refered to as daughter now son) might have dysphoric days or something going on to explain his "random" moods where he didn't want to be in public.

[@amelia3841]

Three of my favourite youtubers, I'm so excited man

[@IronGirlGrace]

I'm nonbinary and I'm about to start on T (like in the next day or two) and it's been weird sometimes explaining why I want to be on hormones even though I don't want to fully transition to male. I really like the idea of just changing some traits that I'm uncomfortable with. That's exactly what it is for me! I'm nb regardless, but there are things I'd like to change; hormones and top surgery are like more serious tattoos or piercing, things to make me happier and more comfortable with my body. Also, needing testosterone and the changes in appearance in order to feel comfortable wearing makeup/dressing femme. I've been wanting to wear makeup for a while, but I haven't because I don't want people to think I'm a girl. But even before actually starting T, I already feel better about makeup and have done it. I wore it to my doctor appointment and then to work afterwards. This video is lovely and made me feel so happy and even more excited (though that's hard to do) to be starting T. And I'm especially glad to hear from another nb person about taking T

[@katiehithere2049]

I love watching Alex’s channel it’s amazing. I have watched him through his transition and it’s incredible 💙😊

[@simsamsammie]

I love this video

[@malletgrl]

I'm so excited! My copy just came in the mail!

[@Anna-xs5ph]

Got the book on Saturday it's so good!

[@jaelikesjackalopes]

i cry way more after starting t than i ever did before

[@antomasotta]

WOW I NEED MORE VIDEOS OF THESE 3 PLS

[@starryeyedfortheclearmind]

Happy Trans Awareness week!!! thank you so much for this

[@LemonSte]

omg the guy on the right totally explained how i feel about expressing myself visually... it's like I NEED to look masculine before i feel comfortable messing around with feminine stuff. i'm kind of going through a phase where i'm having less disphoria and i'm able to explore girly things etc but it still feels really weird and not quite right. it almost feels like i'm doing it to piss people off - like "why shouldn't i be able to be a woman and just unapologetically like girly and glamorous things? why do i have to be a man in drag to be impressive or subversive doing the same stuff?" so its' kind of more rebellious than expressive atm. my biggest issues with transitioning are 1) i desperately want my own kids 2) the idea of administering T every day is so daunting and such a commitment 3) I no longer have any disphoria about the "downstairs" region and do not want anything to change about it, which T would make happen (you don't grow new genitalia lol it just gets different). when you've spent your whole life with one set of genitalia and have had a sex life with the body you're in sometimes that can be enough to make it hard to want to change everything. most of my disphoria is around my voice, face and physique. I'm trying to tackle all these things one by one in the body I have and if it's still not enough to make me comfortable i'll consider T

[@isabellanebs22]

ARIGHTY WOAH I know this is besides the point, but OH MY GOSH HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE?! you're all my favorite humans on this planet. I'm so glad that this collaboration happened - and talking about something so important, no less! I just love all three of you wholeheartedly.

[@jesseestrada8914]

What does stroppy mean? Also, the stories of those people's not being able to cry and how it is different due to hormones is fascinating.

[@skyrim_dragon]

Basically being like moody and upset

[@dovestone_]

Jesse Estrada being petulant

[@elijahf]

Thanks for this, I really enjoy speaking to people about how hrt has changed me mentally I think it’s so interesting and a lot of what you all said resonated with me. Definitely going to try pick up your book Alex!He/him

[@SimpleSteffy]

I loved this video 💖 probably fave in the series!

[@eleanorhazelwood4525]

I’ve got that book!!! It’s so inspirational!!! I love it sooooooo much. I feel sorry for Alex because what he went through sounded really hard!😔😊❤️

[@SionedandMirainFilms]

what a beautiful trio of people! x

[@SimplySophieLou]

Thank you so much for this video, so informative - big respect ❤️

[@xcluelessbeautyx]

Jake’s highlighter is 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@gemmaclark4684]

Alex's voice is so unbelievably relaxing :) :) :) so low and smooth and rumbly :D I really want him to read an audio book to help sleep or meditation or something :) Also, can't wait to read the book, you guys seem like awesome, eloquent people and I think a lot of people will gain a lot from reading the book, both ally's and trans/LGBTI people as well as everyone in between! :D

[@NikolaiHewitt]

I've never seen such a positive comment section on a video that's inclusive of trans people. It's a refreshing change. My pronouns are he/him, but I'm far too terrified to come out properly and ask for a referral to start testosterone HRT. It's nice that this was discussed so openly. Thank you guys :)

[@jnerosfire]

Hopefully I can get around to getting both of your books before too long. I just have SO much stuff going on monty wise and haven't been able to buy extras right now but I'm interested in both for sure :-) Congrats on your book release, Alex!

[@sarahsoutherington9842]

It's interesting to see the similarities and differences that people on testosterone experience. One of my close friends is on T and is also experiencing the rage

[@TessaTeewurst]

one thing i found very interesting was that alex said he physically can't cry when he's sad but tears up when he's extremely happy and like i can't say anything about that it terms of hormone change but i'm a cis girl and i actually have that problem as well?? like when i'm extremely sad, my eyes will actually feel dry and numb but in my head i KNOW that i want to cry / feel like crying, it just doesn't happen. but everytime something beautiful happens, i will start tearing up immediately and it's so weird??

[@jamesmckinley6334]

Looking good Hannah! Great video, really informative on something many people know little about

[@blueberrymacaroon]

Loved the video. Good work all three of you :)

[@emmaclark6028]

This was really great! I've never managed to wrap my head around what non binary identity means for someone but that description they gave was really helpful. Feel like I can be a better ally after seeing this :)

[@silvionolle]

Very interesting and informative. Thank you.

[@rory3155]

Alex is the most beautiful human I've ever seen

[@sssophie9292]

Awesome episode of the hormone diaries. These peeps all seem so lovely. Interesting video. Winning the Internet today 👌😊

[@TheNicolexoxo]

Oh my gosh, they were LOVELY! I will definitely check out their channels!

[@lindseydrew9812]

I love how Hannah genuinely strives to be a good ally for the LGBTQ+ community :)

[@charlottec7998]

Omg three of my faves in one video

[@IsaRican810]

Your bone structure does not change with T, but the fat does redistribute to different areas which can create a stronger looking jaw and other changes of a similar sort.

[@xoxBFSxox]

Ugh, you three are so lovely! Heart-eyes all around!

[@andrineslife]

I cry every thursday. It's my only day without classes and I always end up crying about something or other. I can't even imagine not being able to have that.

[@alext9760]

Im nonbinary (he/him pronouns) and thinking about maybe going on T, and this is very helpful! I especially relate to Jake saying they wouldnt wear make-up if they didnt have a beard. I do wear make-up sometimes, but I approach it from a "okay lets see if i can make my face look more masc" angle. I want to look like a boy wearing make-up! Or a boy wearing a skirt. Its really nice to see someone else with a similar experience.

[@somanypetals]

I'm so glad they mentioned they were dating because I don't like shipping real life people but I was like look at that banter! so cute! they should go out! top tier bants 10/10

[@user-wz6ld4ld1j]

alex is such a cutie. i lurved this video y'all are lovely ♡♡

[@alicefleur1851]

Please do a collab with Miles Mckenna!!!!!!!

[@lottiebastille3162]

got a lot of luv n respect for you guys - a trans* kid who wants to start T x

[@WhatsMyBodyDoing]

Yay!! Such good humans!!