The Truth About Retroactive Jealousy OCD

After the podcast had finished the mics kept rolling and Alfie spoke about his rare condition. This won't be included in the audio podcast but we thought it was right to share his story.
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[@AlfieIndra]

Was well nervous about speaking about this publicly so thanks so much for your nice comments xx

[@cheesegod1476]

Omg thank God I'm not the only one the same thing happened to me recently it makes u feel ill and it stresses u so much thank u for talking about it in constantly stressing about it and asking her about it and its became an obsession I thought I was the only one and this has happened recently as it's my first girlfriend and it's the same thing with u thank God I'm not the only one i do the same I can't go to a certain place as my mate saw my ex and my mate there

[@LouieRC]

I worry about these things being a problem for me if I ever had a girlfriend so I chose to just never have one. Worried to take chances with them

[@sonniebolt10]

I’m going through the exact same thing. Me and my ex broke up and I can’t stop thinking about her with other boys. I have to contact her constantly to ask questions until I’m satisfied. I hate it. Even after I’m satisfied I’ll create horrible stories in my head. This week has been the worst week for it

[@beibhinnnichaisleain4592]

Hope you get some peace from this man, fuck those people who don't take this seriously. Thank you for bringing some light this issue. I don't think people realise that OCD can take on many different forms. Mind yourself!

[@beibhinnnichaisleain4592]

also something I learned in life- if you're worried about being pyschopathic, you're probably not.

[@ZacharyStockill]

Respect for talking about this publicly, Alfie. I know it's not easy. And thanks for the kind words about my course. Hang in there, brother.

[@AlfieIndra]

Zachary Stockill thanks for everything man ♥️

[@robertblayney3826]

@@AlfieIndra Mate, I've had this since I was 16 and I'm now 33. So brave of you to talk about it... I'm going through it again in a new relationship and it's unbearable. It's honestly amazing to hear other people talk about it!

[@robertblayney3826]

I really identified with the explanation about not knowing whether you genuinely can't deal with it or whether that's the OCD speaking. I really identified with most of it

[@xmissmilkywayx1887]

@@robertblayney3826 don't date anyone?

[@cam-b1405]

xMissMilkyWayx don’t be a prick mate

[@ashleybenn9645]

Only now finding out this is a actual thing, always thought it was just me. Feel for this guy its really not nice

[@PodzPvP]

Ashleybenn 96 in the same

[@MoreLifeB]

++

[@io2255]

Ashleybenn 96 same

[@Rebeckiiful]

It’s never just you trust. Connect

[@hareshpuvanagopan2942]

I suffer from thus badly. There is a private FB group called 'Dialogue Group for Retroactive Jealousy OCD'. A few have been completely cured and give help. Still about 600 of us trying to overcome this beast. Meditation also helps so try the app Headspace. One day we will get over it. I have to or I'll lose my gf. That would be a greater hell.

[@HP-rz7ew]

The best way I could explain what my intrusive thoughts (OCD) is like, is basically your brain/mind is trying to wind you up. Literally like having a bully in your head with you 24/7. Just flashing uncomfortable thoughts and ideas at you, really intense imagery. When it happens there isn’t much that helps tbh, but distraction, exercise and breathing/meditation are the best things to practice which can help cope with it. Always talk to someone, never try to deal with it on your own, help is out there, even if it’s a stranger!!!

[@irateslacker6367]

I like the analogy of your brain winding it's self up cus it's spot on, I completely understand that the thoughts are irrational but your brains like nah think about it more, or do these specific ritual to relieve anxiety

[@theepanganesh4447]

Please check out Ali greymonds ocd recovery channel on KZbin it helped me fully recover from ocd, understand it in depth and prevent falling back into it

[@leopardprints]

2 things that really helped my intrusive thoughts OCD was 5HTP and Mindfulness.

[@HP-rz7ew]

Theepan Ganesh I’ll check it out, thanks for the recommendation.

[@jxmiee9849]

This is such an accurate way to describe it. I haven’t suffered badly with my ocd for over a year now but the intrusive thoughts never go away they’re just not as bad or common. I find what helps me is to just try and move past the thoughts like you said distraction. Just don’t fall into the trap of giving your thoughts too much time or meaning.

[@padraigdoyle9262]

feel like shit for him he must've been totally confused and misunderstood in school

[@hareshpuvanagopan2942]

I suffer from thus badly. There is a private FB group called 'Dialogue Group for Retroactive Jealousy OCD'. A few have been completely cured and give help. Still about 600 of us trying to overcome this beast. Meditation also helps so try the app Headspace. One day we will get over it. I have to or I'll lose my gf. That would be a greater hell.

[@sophieperkins4608]

Jesus christ what a brave lad. Well done for speaking out and being open with eachother, refreshing to see men support eachothers mental health publicly

[@music0326]

Jesus Christ is the answer, He can set people free from mental disorders. We live in a fallen world, and we are also are attacked by demonic spirits.

[@zac1672]

@@music0326 not everyone improves from pretending a fictional character is real. The bible is a cliche book as well, poor writing.

[@billywashere6965]

​ @zac1672 I hate to be this guy, but there is literal historical evidence that he was real, with multiple documented instances OUTSIDE of the Bible. Sad this generation.

[@chloeann2641]

Ocd is so misleadingly shown in the media , suffering from it myself the anxiety is totally crippling and traumatic ,the uncontrolled obsession is not organising pretty colours in order or saying your a bit ocd because your clean these misconceptions are so harmful its generally a horrible illness that can ruin your life ,I'm so glad your talking about this in a real way x

[@vanzyl2547]

chloe ann thank you for making this clear, because people really do misunderstand OCD terribly.

[@milkglassfairy7641]

YES.

[@bwilliamson3887]

Very true, it stopped me swimming for years because I thought I'd get a verruca or something from the swimming pool. Irononically swimming is the best thing for my mental health.

[@seph_f]

yea it's ridiculously misrepresented to the point where a lot of people suffer from it and don't realize because of the false way it has been presented to them

[@georgiamabel7197]

It’s so refreshing to see 3 men having an open conversation about mental health. This is so important.

[@HappyPinkFriday]

Can’t believe someone else has this, honestly this is a huge relief for me that someone else deals with this. Thank you so much honestly, you don’t know how this has helped me

[@samvillie1000]

You go through this too? I'm in it right now.

[@HappyPinkFriday]

Yeah, im 23 now and I’ve known my boyfriend since I was 14. We were friends at high school but I’ve only been with him a year. So, I know his past sexual encounters etc. At the time of knowing it never bothered me but now that I’m in love with him some stuff just really gets to me and completely ruins my day; I’ll just sit on the floor and try to picture how stuff happened. My boyfriend is amazing but often gets frustrated at me... I asked him to watch this video to understand better and since then I’ve been a bit better. I’m still an insecure piece of shit though so I guess I still need to work on myself a lot more. How about you? What bothers you?

[@elliepayne6856]

Me too, it’s the tiniest details I’ll just sit there and think about forever. It’s nice to know there are other people like me x

[@SuperMikeFender]

@@HappyPinkFriday How you doing now, Mary?

[@jamesheels8409]

It proper eats you up

[@ProInstinqt]

I’m 21 years old and I’ve had every symptom he mentioned for years and I’ve always thought I was just a bit mental I had no idea this was even a thing. Great podcast as always jack!

[@PodzPvP]

xAdvancedCarrot - omg Same

[@griefercreations9477]

You're not mental and you're not alone. Maybe you should try look for the same program as alfie?

[@1990Moejoe]

What did you do about it?

[@miliaurora1038]

There's nothing mental about it....If you fall in love with someone, u cannot imagine them being so intimate with someone else... it's painful as hell....It was better back in the days when people love each other and sticked together till death .....Sexual Revolution was a step years backwards , taking things back to stone age where everyone os banging everyone..... If it becomes unbearable, I suggest u detach emotionally and treat your partner more like a friend nothing more than that....The more emotions you invest in your partner, the more painful it becomes.

[@antoniogo6931]

@@miliaurora1038 I totally agree with you, she is not yours she never will be it just your turn.

[@TheMoreTheMary_]

Gonna leave this here: OCD suuuuucksss.

[@Harz77]

Amen

[@joel1418]

No shit

[@hareshpuvanagopan2942]

I suffer from thus badly. There is a private FB group called 'Dialogue Group for Retroactive Jealousy OCD'. A few have been completely cured and give help. Still about 600 of us trying to overcome this beast. Meditation also helps so try the app Headspace. One day we will get over it. I have to or I'll lose my gf. That would be a greater hell.

[@TheMoreTheMary_]

@@hareshpuvanagopan2942 i have a very different type of ocd but thank you so much for leaving this here for others 💙💙

[@nightmrj]

i didn’t know this was an actual thing holy shit hope he’s doing better this helped me

[@HappyHourPodcast]

So much fucking respect for Alfie for opening up with this!

[@ellissaavart9178]

Happy Hour Podcast 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@lukethomasdillon3762]

I thought it was just me that had this. It is really tough to get through. I would literally be chilling with my girlfriend then think of scenarios and her past then I would resent having her round me. I used to get so anxious about finding more stuff out about her past and it making me look at her differently. It made me want to avoid going out with her etc. Its really hard to deal with and to explain with out sounding judgemental. It makes you so depressed and really sabotaged your happiness. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences bro.

[@lukethomasdillon3762]

@Baskett, Olivia Its horrible isnt it. Intrusive thoughts that you just cant control. You then start feeling guilty about not being nice to your partner when youre around them. It makes you feel like you cant enjoy any happy moment with them! Its so tough

[@bman8641]

Thanks bro reading this has helped me realise what is up with me

[@oldyaleroad6443]

Have you overcome this brother?

[@Joeys-Channel]

I feel you dude, married and I am starting to get it really bad

[@williammecca4369]

how did it end up going for you bro?

[@raykay000]

It is the worst feeling ever. It is so mentally draining. My marriage broke because of this. She was with loads of men and I couldn't handle the past. It made me look at her differently and its so hard to block. I pray noone goes through it, it is the worst feeling ever.

[@Longlostpuss]

It's perfectly normal, there's nothing wrong with you. Alpha men never accepted women conquered by other men in the old days, even going back to the cave days. Modern culture has made women promiscuous and they are trying to normalise it and make men believe they're wrong for not liking their history with multiple men. It's not normal and in fact it's damaging for the female over the long term for pair bonding and also damaging to male as a result. Men are supposed to be prideful and your wife is supposed to be a virgin for her husband.

[@fanya9399]

I’m a girl and I also feel the same thing, my fiance he’s my first love while he has been with lot hoes before and do lot sex & intimate with ex, it’s breaks me into little pieces, but he said I’m the one who show him true love, he gonna marry me and I still doubt about it because I still cannot accept his past.

[@wuguhuliajethanbubgokorahe3651]

​@@fanya9399you guys still together?

[@11HTB]

I honestly have the exact same thing with my girlfriend this video makes me feel like I’m not alone thank u so much for sharing your story

[@trepidstation]

This is so so difficult to have. No one understands you and thinks you are just possessive and judgemental. It feels impossible to explain to anyone.

[@saulsarry]

I suffered from retroactive jealousy until I was about 21. I always blamed lack of experience/confidence. The feeling eats away at you even though you know it shouldn't matter. A turning point was definitely gaining experience in relationships and maturing.

[@soleil7259]

Do you mean like being in different relationships ? Because i feel stuck i suffer not only from RJ OCD but also FOMO (fear of missing out) when it comes to dating. And i regret past missed chances (didn't date certain people because of hugly effecting life events happening) before i met my first Boyfriend. I really like him but his experiences got him to the point where he knows what he wants but i am just at the start you know 😞 It confuses me so much. Sometimes i wish i had met him later in life.

[@katlynsmith7569]

D. O. I feel the exact same way as you! I’m in the same exact boat

[@soleil7259]

@@katlynsmith7569 We broke up. It happened that i found out what his real personality was. I think in my case it was just not the right person for me.:/ But i really wish you well and i hope you can overcome it one day. All the best to you.

[@katlynsmith7569]

D. O. Thank you! I’m trying my hardest at this moment to work things out, this on top of other problems in our relationship is just icing on the cake :/. Thank you for your reply!

[@soleil7259]

@@katlynsmith7569 You are welcome Katlyn 🍀 I hope everything goes well. Stay strong.

[@atlsuckedmydick]

Didn't even realise this was a thing, I thought it was me being a nutcase

[@shaniecegullison]

Sameee!!!!!!

[@rishimistry.7248]

same

[@bernadettemurphy288]

Same

[@blackngold007]

it's your DNA telling you to not wife up a thot. Do not ignore your biology or think something is wrong with you.

[@Jorge-jk5xr]

Fuck... This is exactly what I have. I felt defeated and misunderstood by my closest friends. I'm truly emotional hearing this but also reassuring to know that we can overcome this. Thank you very much for your story

[@dominicdunn8385]

How are you doing now brother?

[@caroto1005]

This video made me burst into tears. In a good way. It seems like no one else understands so hearing someone else describe it (and with such accuracy) is very reassuring.

[@sonniebolt10]

I’ve been waiting for someone to say this. I have the exact same thing as Alfie. I totally relate with everything he says here. I have had a bad bad week it has been one of the worst weeks ever due to this condition. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one out there. Thought I was insane. I keep trying to contact an ex that I love and ask her every detail about the new people she speaks to. It’s horrible. It’s like I have to know every detail otherwise I will create a scenario in my head which gives me anxiety.

[@taxifahrerbodo5559]

Sonnie bro Idk can u tell me if I’ve got ocd because lately I get really scared and anxious over small stuff like talking bout death and my own health and shit it really makes me anxious if I spot something small like a red spot I would go on google and look up what it is today my skl teacher talked about how one of her students to kidney failure and ever since I’ve been scared I just ate a pita bread and accidentally didn’t chew on it fully and swallowed now I’m scared idk if I’ve got ocd pls help another thing I do is check my heartbeat when I get anxious😔

[@sonniebolt10]

DrszySZN I’m not an expert but I tho k you have a form of OCD

[@taxifahrerbodo5559]

Sonnie ok bro thanks I’m just scared of how anxious I’ve been lately how would I tackle this issue😔

[@sonniebolt10]

DrszySZN just have a look on the internet. Websites like KZbin and reddit are usually the best

[@taxifahrerbodo5559]

Sonnie what do I type

[@brandonm8234]

Thought this was how everyone felt tbh and this has been why I ended my last few relationships, seems like a lot of people in the comments can relate to - great to hear someone talking about it publicly

[@blackngold007]

It your DNA telling you not to wife up a thot. Do not dismiss this feeling

[@360Fov]

It sounds agonizing. I think the root of it can be associated with an inferiority complex. If you find yourself getting jealous of an ex who isn't involved at all, it's worth exploring whether you're doing a lot of comparing yourself and putting yourself down, or worrying that you aren't as good as that person at whatever thing your partner did with them, whether it's holidays or intimacy or whatever. Being able to focus on the right target of your thoughts is a step forwards, and if you're comparing a lot, then really, you're the target, not this other person who isn't around at all except in your mind and the image you create of them. I wonder if Alfie has any siblings. These issues tend to connect to childhood. In any case, I wish him the best and anybody else that's stuck with jealous thought loops and self-doubt.

[@tompowell6085]

I also have ocd and the way he explains this makes perfect sense. It takes balls to talk about mental illness like this, stay strong mate and I appreciate the video

[@dannyshadbolt7103]

First time I've watched this podcast. How fucking refreshing is this! Not watched quite enough to say I'm subbed yet , but this has probably reached more males than 99% of government initiatives surrounding male mental health. I'm not someone who personally suffers but I have a mate just like this and I will be quietly pushing this link in his direction. Cheers for the honesty lads!

[@cameronmair5032]

Watched the highlights that are out so far and already know he needs to be back on. Such a good guest with so many stories and insights, we need a part 2

[@jgraham2804]

As someone with OCD, hang in there man. It comes and goes, ebbs and flows, but it’s a never ending battle. Remember though, it is part of what makes you goddamn special. Seeing the world in a different way to everyone else feels like a detriment, but it is insight. I know it makes you a more empathetic person, for better or worse, and talking about it openly and honestly WILL make the difference for someone out there. It will change a life for the better. THAT is courage, and I think it’s heroic.

[@kieranive8763]

what a brilliant comment

[@angel-us7hv]

well said!

[@ladypenelope572]

Thank you so much for sharing your story I’m so grateful to hear someone talking about this so honestly and I feel your pain bro, huge respect for talking about this and I wish you the best in your recovery.

[@annarose6422]

my heart goes out to him. takes such a strong person to try and overcome that 💗

[@navyboy0785]

Mate, I’ve been dealing with this for 12 years. Been with the same person for 16 years. It sucks but don’t let the thoughts win. Remember the mental movies and timelines in your head are all skewed and truly not reality. They’re with you now and you’re their present and future. You got this mate.

[@vaibhavtyagi2954]

Did you manage to overcome it?

[@navyboy0785]

@@vaibhavtyagi2954 pretty much. Sure there are flare ups but it does not rule the majority of my day anymore. I don’t think you can ever overcome it but management is definitely achievable. If I get a thought I just immediately interrupt it by causing “ it doesn’t matter” over and over. Your brain is lazy and will move on to the next thought. After awhile it just becomes second nature to think of the next thing once that thought comes up.

[@bunnykill48]

Being open and speaking up about mental health is really relieving for anyone dealing with it. Just knowing someone out there understands you is already so motivating. Thanks for the podcast I learned a lot

[@finn14henry]

everything he said here hit home and has really helped. thank you for how brave you are for saying all of this

[@sum41intoodeep]

Thanks for this mate. Know exactly how hard it can be and drives me bonkers. Keep trooping on buddy

[@donkey7991]

This was hella eye opening! Well done Alfie for speaking up about it.

[@kendallkreidell7299]

I’m happy Alfie was willing to speak up about this. I’m sure someone will see this and feel less alone.

[@steph66062]

Wow, this was a really hard-hitting video. Massive respect to Alfie for being so open. I'm studying psychology at uni, but I've never heard of Retroactive Jealously OCD before. Based on the comments here already, it's definitely something that needs to be talked about more.

[@thenelsonbird]

Long time watcher, don't normally comment. You've covered sensitive topics in the best but this was so open, honest and raw and well done, it hits a little close to home. rops to Alfie and the bous

[@thenelsonbird]

*past

[@thenelsonbird]

*props and *boys I'm a little drunk.

[@tommetcalfe6557]

Hahaha

[@angel-us7hv]

proud of alfie for speaking about this :) ocd is still very misunderstood and i’m glad to see more people talk about it

[@amy855]

this is spoken about and addressed in such an amazing way. so encouraging to see and makes me so happy - thankyou for sharing your story people have such a wrong idea of ocd and it’s important awareness is brought to what it actually means

[@meeganerose98]

Suffering horrifically with this, thank you for being so open. You are an incredible man ❤️ So bloody brave!

[@kitty-um8zg]

i have ocd and it’s comforting to know one of my favourite youtubers has ocd and is still so cool. lots of love, cheers for opening up

[@paddyoloughlin8666]

I thought everyone went through this stuff when getting a new girlfriend/boyfriend however not to the extent of this lad.

[@ryanhuntermedia]

I think you just might have saved my life. Thank you so much for sharing this mate. I am forever grateful for your bravery. Thank you so much.

[@chilliboi9336]

Major respect to you for sharing this. I watched this expecting it to be misinformation and you eloquently captured what OCD is like. One of the biggest 'traps' when dealing with OCD is secondary anxiety when you don't get immediate relief from techniques that usually work, but keep up the fight and you'll see improvements again. All the best moving forward.

[@mollybrown9799]

Love your content jack. Everyone needs to talk about mental health more especially great to see young men. Big love to you too Alfie

[@3lli398]

The part where Alfie talks about mental movies where you create the scenario and play it out constantly hit home so much. I don't have this kind of anxiety but have separation anxiety and health anxiety.. but I also resorted to self harm too and it absolutely sucks. So happy you're in a better place now ♥️ medication and therapy saved my life for sure.

[@hecleblue1492]

All my love and respect to the guy, takes a lot to open up about a disorder very rarely spoken about. 💛

[@deepindaydreams]

Thankyou for this 🙌 I don’t have the same type of ocd but I can definitely relate to intrusive thoughts consuming your mind as often as 10 seconds (not quite so frequent unless I was severally anxious) Just listening to how he speaks and explains himself and his thought process was actually quite refreshing, I completed 3 months of cognitive behavioural therapy for my ocd and it’s not something I ever hear other people discussing. My ocd can completely consume my life and would make the simplest daily tasks a huge struggle (it’s not so severe now) but again, Thankyou because I would literally laugh and joke to the handful of people I would open up to about my ocd because I knew it sounded ridiculous and I felt like a psycho but again it’s intrusive thoughts, what I’ve learnt is that all people get them, it’s about how people react to them

[@GrittyX]

So moved by this...very brave of Alfie to speak so openly about it and so well handled by your co-hosts. No judgment, just friendship.

[@humansignpeace6295]

as someone with aspergers, pda (pathological demand avoidance) and clinical anxiety, i completely understand the feeling of overthinking over everything. i will overthink things a million times until i have a panic attack and it then makes my autism worse. it’s a real battle but everyday is a new day.

[@_ejf]

This was really informative and will help a lot of people, thank you for opening up x

[@spooderman2616]

This has been such a struggle for me, and i genuinely thought it was just me being immature. Thank you so much, i feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

[@kieranleemorris]

I literally relate to this so much holy shit this is eye opening

[@falloutshorts]

This video really helped me a lot, I thought I was crazy and I literally don’t even talk to my close friends or family about these problems. So thanks guys this really helps to feel part of the conversations and feel better about myself, thanks again :)

[@ishandeb4172]

Honestly, the triggers could be ANYTHING, big props to Alfie for talking about this, it's such a major help

[@NathanSplosion]

Struggling with this. This video makes me want to cry. Thank you so much for speaking about this. Best of luck to anyone else who can relate to these feelings

[@tristanhepburn4130]

This is really good to see Alfie talking about this, I’ve only just come across this but the symptoms he’s discussing are almost identical to ones I’ve been experiencing over recent times so it’s nice to know it’s not just me and it’s normal

[@TheofficialSmaddi]

Alfie, fair play for coming out about this, it takes absolute balls. Hope you're doing well now. BTW your music is mega!

[@FukKnows87]

I have OCD. Massive respect to come on a podcast and speak so openly about something like this. Well done and wish you the best in moving forward.

[@Lucy-xr9px]

this is so good to talk about. well done

[@ILiquidGasI]

Never felt so related to something, eating away at me for years. Thanks for opening up about this

[@ReynumMC]

this video has honestly helped me a lot thank you. I deal with the same thing and I never actually realised it'd be something anyone else would deal with at the same level as me. currently dealing with this with my current girlfriend but she's super supportive about it and understands that it's not just me being an overprotective jealous person and I'm thankful that she actually understands as others haven't in the past. it's a fully shit nonstop battle init

[@itscharlotte1553]

I really hope you realize the magnitude of just saying ‘I’ve been going though a rough patch mentally recently’ honestly I couldn’t be more appreciative, it really normalizes mental health struggles and it’s so nice to hear that and personally feel it’s ok to be struggling, so thank you so much.

[@serinat2181]

Omg wow I have already been diagnosed with something and to hear Alfie's story is very touching. I'm going through a rough patch too atm

[@JaamesOsborne]

Big love to this guy for speaking out like this

[@joeflory3731]

fair enough to alfie here he’s got it absolutely spot on, haven’t ever related to a youtube video more than this

[@tomsimmonds6258]

Honestly I didn’t know this was disorder I thought this was how everyone felt

[@afrodonkey]

wtf same

[@goofin6360]

it is mate its not a disorder ignore this gimp

[@lilly3424]

Same tbh

[@goofin6360]

@@josh9592 its not a mental health disorder its very natural to feel jealous if your friend has been with your girlfriend before lmao

[@laurenpreston9702]

Goofin GFX the thing is, a lot of the symptoms of ocd are experienced by pretty much everyone, to a certain extent. I have ocd so I’ll use my personal experiences to describe it. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts, eg having a fleeting thought of a loved one getting hurt, but what differentiates what’s normal and ocd is the importance of those thoughts. People without ocd would be able to ignore the thought and move on, but with ocd the thought becomes an obsession. It’s all you can think about, you have graphic images of that loved one getting hurting and there’s so much anxiety surrounding it. You know rationally that having that thought won’t make it any more likely to come true, but the anxiety surrounding it is so intense that you can’t ignore it. So then that’s when the compulsions come in. The compulsions can be anything and most of the time don’t seem to make any sense. And it’s hard because you know rationally that tapping an object a certain number of times won’t stop the thought from happening. But it helps to relieve the anxiety. Essentially, aspects of ocd are ‘normal’ but it becomes a disorder when it impacts your life. So it is normal to think about what your partner has done in the past, but what’s not normal is becoming so obsessed with this thought that it starts to interfere with your life. I know you weren’t asking for an essay on what ocd is and isn’t but it’s hard to have the condition and see people, who aren’t necessarily educated on it, minimising someone’s genuine struggles.

[@Lewis-vg5uu]

That is really difficult to talk about, fair play mate...thank you. I've had the same. That is so refreshing to hear someone else say that. I found time helped a lot. And just the absolute realisation my thoughts were unhelpful & irrational. I love my girlfriend. TIP: Never ask questions you do not want to hear the answers to. Ever.

[@shaunarnoldddd]

So glad I found this video, always thought that my relationships always went south because it was me just being the ‘immature over-jealous type’ Didn’t realise that this was an actual thing, literally everything Alfie said applies to me, thanks for sharing x

[@lisajemus6366]

I get it. So proud of Alfie for sharing this publicly. This is not just normal "jealousy". It is absolute torture and feels extremely isolating. That no one could possibly understand.

[@harrybradshaw171]

didn’t know what i had was a real thing before i saw this. really appreciate alfie for opening up about it, certainly helped me

[@olihaigh9431]

This is literally me but not on that big of a scale, thought it was just a bit of jealousy, never knew it was an actual thing, many thanks for bringing it to peoples attention

[@emilyclarke9949]

Honestly think it’s great to see people speaking about OCD and the different elements of it, I suffered for over 6 years of my life and I have always wanted to speak on a podcast about it and raise more awareness for young people to feel more comfortable talking about it and truly understanding it as even if you may not have it to educate friends or people around you about it can help so much

[@BunkerWise215]

Literally me I'm mind blown how much this relates. 100% Respect to this man

[@zarastewart4806]

Thank you so so much for talking about this 🙏🏻❤️

[@agran117]

Holy shit this has honestly hit home because I have had every single thing that he has described and have also tried choking myself out to give myself a break and was admitted into hospital for it and now this has answered so many questions

[@liamthomas8987]

My partner asked me to watch this and I so badly relate, this is mad. I feel more at ease knowing that this may be the case for me! Thanks Jack, Stevie and the wonderful Alfie.

[@harveywright2710]

This was really helpful , just wanted to say thanks

[@TheAceBack]

Thank you so much for talking about this, I didn’t know this was a thing but it explains so much about my own life that without you opening up about it I would probably never know 😢

[@spiderqueen4986]

I can't believe he came on this podcast! The longhouse podcast and happy hour are my 2 favourite podcasts so happy to see this! Poor Alfie can't imagine how tough it is to talk about this!

[@AllAboutAwesomeness]

I feel like I’ve just been given the vocabulary to explain how I feel.

[@shaniecegullison]

Me too

[@jojo1234a]

What an incredible guy to speak about this publicly, I can’t imagine it could have been easy and I also assume it had some mental repercussions after the fact. However the bottom line is that many people have now been educated on a lesser known mental health problem under the OCD spectrum, but more importantly this could be the catalyst for sufferers to recognize the symptoms and seek professional help, ultimately leading to a better quality of life longterm. Thanks for putting yourself out there so openly and candidly, the world needs more people like you.

[@sandyjohnson465]

Exact same thing happens with me. Theres no control of it, a weird paranoia that can't be controlled and it is all the time. With my girlfriend nearly 3 years and it's still on my mind. This has opened my mind about it more, thought I was the only one. Thanks for sharing it so openly, helps me understand it better!

[@KrisGraham]

Appreciate you sharing buddy!

[@freddieoliver8714]

This might’ve been the most relatable video I’ve ever watched

[@TheVicktorious1]

Big up yourself for coming out with this. The stigma of being a man (I know; old fashioned) & being "macho" & unaffected by someone's past really creates a toxic vacuum for sufferers of this as its a daily & constant battle. I know because my triggers are similar to Alfie's. Thank you for speaking out about this & thank you for putting me onto Zachary Stockill. Hope things get better!

[@flourishes4u]

Absolute top bloke for speaking about this.

[@Max-jw8si]

this is really informative and a good presentation of bringing OCD and intrusive thoughts into light. I've struggled with Pure OCD for as long as I remember so this means a lot to me. Amazing podcast Jack!

[@333george]

thanks for sharing this video with me bro i’m glad i’m not the only one who suffers from this sometimes

[@ishandeb4172]

Oh my god, this podcast IS A BLESSING, thank you for opening up Alfie, didn't know this was an actual legitimate issue. ,❤️💯

[@yeaaabuddy9781]

I really needed this .... thank you

[@mathewscott9453]

I’ve been with my girlfriend for just under 3 years but it really is an every 10 second thought even too this day, I’m really worried it’ll never go away and I’ll have to deal with this forever. I just want to be happy.

[@PaulLange-PC_BEAST]

Absolute life saver, thanks mate.I was so worried about what was wrong with me!

[@zachthompson3955]

nah that last part was so real about the triggers. Thank you for making this podcast, really helped a lot and helped me discovered what the fuck was happening with me for the past months

[@nrw5513]

Hey just wanted to say thanks guys for discussing male mental health issues. Being going through a terrible time recently and it's really supporting to hear other men discuss these things so candidly

[@th-bk_rd3643]

Bro thanks for taking about this I’ve been struggling with it for a long time

[@thomaskellyruiz]

Hi all, First of all, thank you Alfie for sharing this and to Jack too for for listening and letting Alfie share this. This for me was something that i needed as i too suffer from the Retroactive jealousy OCD. I can totally relate my self to you when you gave the exampe about the biscuit tin and the BMW. The same triggers happen to me, for example i can be watching a film and a scene could simply remind me of something my girlfriend told me before, or simple the other day watching the basketball and the commentator saying "BANG" triggered me off. I know the ill feeling and the anxiety that comes with it. Its also horrible for the partner as they have no idea what is going on and it makes them feel ashamed of even having a past. At the end of the day we all have a past and it cant be changed. What i have discovered is that this is just a door opening for other problems that we might have. This all comes down to fear, we are all animals the same way how a deer runs off when they sense threat, this for us is sort of our defence mechanism when we sense threat. In my case i have a fear of abandonment that comes from whem i was a child. I did live in a disfuncional household where my mother did suffer from mental health problems, so the love and security that i never experienced with my mother i have now found with my girlfriend so hence the reason why i sense my security is threatened. Thing's i have discovered that worked for me are these: • Talking about it: When i mean talk about i don't mean talk about it to everyone, because not everyone will understand. I mean talking about it to yourself, try and disect it and come to the realisation that its all just an illusion. What i do sometimes is i imagine im on the podcast like this one and im being asked the questions and i start opening up. • Reading: i find this very relaxing and it helps me be distracted from my thoughts and become present. Three books that i recommend everyone should read from suffering from instrusive thoughts are: The Power of Now by Eckhart Toll, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy and Brain Lock by Jeffrey M Schwartz • Exercise: need to get moving guys. Use this as an ERP, a thought comes into your mind just do some pushups or even go for a walk, being in the outdoors will help clear your mind. • Meditation: now i don't mean become a monk. I mean just have a moment to be by yourself and be silient. I like to play tapes while i meditate. I play Wayne Dyer in the morning and before i go to bed so its inbebed in subconscious mind so im able to start and end the day positive. • Journal: study yourself. The same way you ask questions when you want to get to knkw someone, do they same to you. Ask yourself questions and get to know yourself there might be so much that you will find out and look over your notes over the next month's whenever you feel uneasy or anxious. Theres no point in getting an A* in a maths exam if you get an F in an exam about yourself. Get to know you. I'm no psychologist but these are things that i have discovered to help me and hopefully these will help you too. Most important is you open up with you partner, do it in a civil way dont expect them to understand but as long as they listen that all that counts. I hope you all have a wonderful day and remember this is the first day of the rest of your life!! 💪⚡🌱🧘‍♂️ One thing at a time. Feel free to contact me if you would like a chat. Instagram: @thomaskellyruiz email: [e-mail]

[@charlottesimpson1619]

much respect for alfie. i’ve loved this episode so much so far

[@tomwright4969]

I have mild aspergers which has some symptoms similar to OCD. And although I have found my life getting easier as I get older (I'm nearly 24). I obsess over social situations daily, I sometimes feel like I've come across weird or nasty when it's likely that I haven't at all. This may sound like I have a stiff upper lip but I found that getting out of my comfort zone and biting the bullet has helped me personally. Everyone deals with things differently so what I say is subjective to me.

[@thomasduthie5639]

My bro. What helps even more is you look like someone I would hang with so can really relate. You’ve saved me