The Truth About Retroactive Jealousy OCD

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Happy Hour Podcast

Happy Hour Podcast

Күн бұрын

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@AlfieIndra
@AlfieIndra 5 жыл бұрын
Was well nervous about speaking about this publicly so thanks so much for your nice comments xx
@cheesegod1476
@cheesegod1476 5 жыл бұрын
Omg thank God I'm not the only one the same thing happened to me recently it makes u feel ill and it stresses u so much thank u for talking about it in constantly stressing about it and asking her about it and its became an obsession I thought I was the only one and this has happened recently as it's my first girlfriend and it's the same thing with u thank God I'm not the only one i do the same I can't go to a certain place as my mate saw my ex and my mate there
@LouieRC
@LouieRC 5 жыл бұрын
I worry about these things being a problem for me if I ever had a girlfriend so I chose to just never have one. Worried to take chances with them
@sonnieb10
@sonnieb10 5 жыл бұрын
I’m going through the exact same thing. Me and my ex broke up and I can’t stop thinking about her with other boys. I have to contact her constantly to ask questions until I’m satisfied. I hate it. Even after I’m satisfied I’ll create horrible stories in my head. This week has been the worst week for it
@beibhinnnichaisleain4592
@beibhinnnichaisleain4592 5 жыл бұрын
Hope you get some peace from this man, fuck those people who don't take this seriously. Thank you for bringing some light this issue. I don't think people realise that OCD can take on many different forms. Mind yourself!
@beibhinnnichaisleain4592
@beibhinnnichaisleain4592 5 жыл бұрын
also something I learned in life- if you're worried about being pyschopathic, you're probably not.
@ZacharyStockill
@ZacharyStockill 5 жыл бұрын
Respect for talking about this publicly, Alfie. I know it's not easy. And thanks for the kind words about my course. Hang in there, brother.
@AlfieIndra
@AlfieIndra 5 жыл бұрын
Zachary Stockill thanks for everything man ♥️
@robertblayney3826
@robertblayney3826 5 жыл бұрын
@@AlfieIndra Mate, I've had this since I was 16 and I'm now 33. So brave of you to talk about it... I'm going through it again in a new relationship and it's unbearable. It's honestly amazing to hear other people talk about it!
@robertblayney3826
@robertblayney3826 5 жыл бұрын
I really identified with the explanation about not knowing whether you genuinely can't deal with it or whether that's the OCD speaking. I really identified with most of it
@xmissmilkywayx1887
@xmissmilkywayx1887 4 жыл бұрын
@@robertblayney3826 don't date anyone?
@cam-b1405
@cam-b1405 4 жыл бұрын
xMissMilkyWayx don’t be a prick mate
@HP-rz7ew
@HP-rz7ew 5 жыл бұрын
The best way I could explain what my intrusive thoughts (OCD) is like, is basically your brain/mind is trying to wind you up. Literally like having a bully in your head with you 24/7. Just flashing uncomfortable thoughts and ideas at you, really intense imagery. When it happens there isn’t much that helps tbh, but distraction, exercise and breathing/meditation are the best things to practice which can help cope with it. Always talk to someone, never try to deal with it on your own, help is out there, even if it’s a stranger!!!
@irateslacker6367
@irateslacker6367 4 жыл бұрын
I like the analogy of your brain winding it's self up cus it's spot on, I completely understand that the thoughts are irrational but your brains like nah think about it more, or do these specific ritual to relieve anxiety
@theepanganesh4447
@theepanganesh4447 4 жыл бұрын
Please check out Ali greymonds ocd recovery channel on KZbin it helped me fully recover from ocd, understand it in depth and prevent falling back into it
@leopardprints
@leopardprints 4 жыл бұрын
2 things that really helped my intrusive thoughts OCD was 5HTP and Mindfulness.
@HP-rz7ew
@HP-rz7ew 4 жыл бұрын
Theepan Ganesh I’ll check it out, thanks for the recommendation.
@jxmiee9849
@jxmiee9849 4 жыл бұрын
This is such an accurate way to describe it. I haven’t suffered badly with my ocd for over a year now but the intrusive thoughts never go away they’re just not as bad or common. I find what helps me is to just try and move past the thoughts like you said distraction. Just don’t fall into the trap of giving your thoughts too much time or meaning.
@sophieperkins4608
@sophieperkins4608 5 жыл бұрын
Jesus christ what a brave lad. Well done for speaking out and being open with eachother, refreshing to see men support eachothers mental health publicly
@music0326
@music0326 Жыл бұрын
Jesus Christ is the answer, He can set people free from mental disorders. We live in a fallen world, and we are also are attacked by demonic spirits.
@zac1672
@zac1672 Жыл бұрын
@@music0326 not everyone improves from pretending a fictional character is real. The bible is a cliche book as well, poor writing.
@billywashere6965
@billywashere6965 Жыл бұрын
​ @zac1672 I hate to be this guy, but there is literal historical evidence that he was real, with multiple documented instances OUTSIDE of the Bible. Sad this generation.
@ashleybenn9645
@ashleybenn9645 5 жыл бұрын
Only now finding out this is a actual thing, always thought it was just me. Feel for this guy its really not nice
@PodzPvP
@PodzPvP 5 жыл бұрын
Ashleybenn 96 in the same
@MoreLifeB
@MoreLifeB 5 жыл бұрын
++
@io2255
@io2255 5 жыл бұрын
Ashleybenn 96 same
@Rebeckiiful
@Rebeckiiful 5 жыл бұрын
It’s never just you trust. Connect
@hareshpuvanagopan2942
@hareshpuvanagopan2942 5 жыл бұрын
I suffer from thus badly. There is a private FB group called 'Dialogue Group for Retroactive Jealousy OCD'. A few have been completely cured and give help. Still about 600 of us trying to overcome this beast. Meditation also helps so try the app Headspace. One day we will get over it. I have to or I'll lose my gf. That would be a greater hell.
@georgiamabel7197
@georgiamabel7197 4 жыл бұрын
It’s so refreshing to see 3 men having an open conversation about mental health. This is so important.
@chloeann2641
@chloeann2641 5 жыл бұрын
Ocd is so misleadingly shown in the media , suffering from it myself the anxiety is totally crippling and traumatic ,the uncontrolled obsession is not organising pretty colours in order or saying your a bit ocd because your clean these misconceptions are so harmful its generally a horrible illness that can ruin your life ,I'm so glad your talking about this in a real way x
@vzvdm
@vzvdm 5 жыл бұрын
chloe ann thank you for making this clear, because people really do misunderstand OCD terribly.
@milkglassfairy7641
@milkglassfairy7641 5 жыл бұрын
YES.
@bwilliamson3887
@bwilliamson3887 3 жыл бұрын
Very true, it stopped me swimming for years because I thought I'd get a verruca or something from the swimming pool. Irononically swimming is the best thing for my mental health.
@seph_f
@seph_f Жыл бұрын
yea it's ridiculously misrepresented to the point where a lot of people suffer from it and don't realize because of the false way it has been presented to them
@tutin4090
@tutin4090 7 ай бұрын
My OCD visage is that I need to do an increasing number of pushups to save my family from their demise. It gets more frequent lately too
@ProInstinqt
@ProInstinqt 5 жыл бұрын
I’m 21 years old and I’ve had every symptom he mentioned for years and I’ve always thought I was just a bit mental I had no idea this was even a thing. Great podcast as always jack!
@PodzPvP
@PodzPvP 5 жыл бұрын
xAdvancedCarrot - omg Same
@griefercreations9477
@griefercreations9477 5 жыл бұрын
You're not mental and you're not alone. Maybe you should try look for the same program as alfie?
@1990Moejoe
@1990Moejoe 5 жыл бұрын
What did you do about it?
@miliaurora1038
@miliaurora1038 4 жыл бұрын
There's nothing mental about it....If you fall in love with someone, u cannot imagine them being so intimate with someone else... it's painful as hell....It was better back in the days when people love each other and sticked together till death .....Sexual Revolution was a step years backwards , taking things back to stone age where everyone os banging everyone..... If it becomes unbearable, I suggest u detach emotionally and treat your partner more like a friend nothing more than that....The more emotions you invest in your partner, the more painful it becomes.
@antoniogo6931
@antoniogo6931 4 жыл бұрын
@@miliaurora1038 I totally agree with you, she is not yours she never will be it just your turn.
@HappyPinkFriday
@HappyPinkFriday 5 жыл бұрын
Can’t believe someone else has this, honestly this is a huge relief for me that someone else deals with this. Thank you so much honestly, you don’t know how this has helped me
@samvillie1000
@samvillie1000 5 жыл бұрын
You go through this too? I'm in it right now.
@HappyPinkFriday
@HappyPinkFriday 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, im 23 now and I’ve known my boyfriend since I was 14. We were friends at high school but I’ve only been with him a year. So, I know his past sexual encounters etc. At the time of knowing it never bothered me but now that I’m in love with him some stuff just really gets to me and completely ruins my day; I’ll just sit on the floor and try to picture how stuff happened. My boyfriend is amazing but often gets frustrated at me... I asked him to watch this video to understand better and since then I’ve been a bit better. I’m still an insecure piece of shit though so I guess I still need to work on myself a lot more. How about you? What bothers you?
@elliepayne6856
@elliepayne6856 5 жыл бұрын
Me too, it’s the tiniest details I’ll just sit there and think about forever. It’s nice to know there are other people like me x
@SuperMikeFender
@SuperMikeFender 4 жыл бұрын
@@HappyPinkFriday How you doing now, Mary?
@jamesheels8409
@jamesheels8409 4 жыл бұрын
It proper eats you up
@nightmrj
@nightmrj 5 жыл бұрын
i didn’t know this was an actual thing holy shit hope he’s doing better this helped me
@HappyHourPodcast
@HappyHourPodcast 5 жыл бұрын
So much fucking respect for Alfie for opening up with this!
@ellissaavart9178
@ellissaavart9178 5 жыл бұрын
Happy Hour Podcast 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@11HTB
@11HTB 5 жыл бұрын
I honestly have the exact same thing with my girlfriend this video makes me feel like I’m not alone thank u so much for sharing your story
@raykay000
@raykay000 4 жыл бұрын
It is the worst feeling ever. It is so mentally draining. My marriage broke because of this. She was with loads of men and I couldn't handle the past. It made me look at her differently and its so hard to block. I pray noone goes through it, it is the worst feeling ever.
@Longlostpuss
@Longlostpuss 3 жыл бұрын
It's perfectly normal, there's nothing wrong with you. Alpha men never accepted women conquered by other men in the old days, even going back to the cave days. Modern culture has made women promiscuous and they are trying to normalise it and make men believe they're wrong for not liking their history with multiple men. It's not normal and in fact it's damaging for the female over the long term for pair bonding and also damaging to male as a result. Men are supposed to be prideful and your wife is supposed to be a virgin for her husband.
@fanya9399
@fanya9399 Жыл бұрын
I’m a girl and I also feel the same thing, my fiance he’s my first love while he has been with lot hoes before and do lot sex & intimate with ex, it’s breaks me into little pieces, but he said I’m the one who show him true love, he gonna marry me and I still doubt about it because I still cannot accept his past.
@wuguhuliajethanbubgokorahe3651
@wuguhuliajethanbubgokorahe3651 Жыл бұрын
​@@fanya9399you guys still together?
@lukethomasdillon3762
@lukethomasdillon3762 4 жыл бұрын
I thought it was just me that had this. It is really tough to get through. I would literally be chilling with my girlfriend then think of scenarios and her past then I would resent having her round me. I used to get so anxious about finding more stuff out about her past and it making me look at her differently. It made me want to avoid going out with her etc. Its really hard to deal with and to explain with out sounding judgemental. It makes you so depressed and really sabotaged your happiness. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences bro.
@lukethomasdillon3762
@lukethomasdillon3762 2 жыл бұрын
@Baskett, Olivia Its horrible isnt it. Intrusive thoughts that you just cant control. You then start feeling guilty about not being nice to your partner when youre around them. It makes you feel like you cant enjoy any happy moment with them! Its so tough
@bman8641
@bman8641 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks bro reading this has helped me realise what is up with me
@oldyaleroad6443
@oldyaleroad6443 2 жыл бұрын
Have you overcome this brother?
@Joeys-Channel
@Joeys-Channel 2 жыл бұрын
I feel you dude, married and I am starting to get it really bad
@williammecca4369
@williammecca4369 Жыл бұрын
how did it end up going for you bro?
@padraigdoyle9262
@padraigdoyle9262 5 жыл бұрын
feel like shit for him he must've been totally confused and misunderstood in school
@hareshpuvanagopan2942
@hareshpuvanagopan2942 5 жыл бұрын
I suffer from thus badly. There is a private FB group called 'Dialogue Group for Retroactive Jealousy OCD'. A few have been completely cured and give help. Still about 600 of us trying to overcome this beast. Meditation also helps so try the app Headspace. One day we will get over it. I have to or I'll lose my gf. That would be a greater hell.
@caroto1005
@caroto1005 4 жыл бұрын
This video made me burst into tears. In a good way. It seems like no one else understands so hearing someone else describe it (and with such accuracy) is very reassuring.
@tompowell6085
@tompowell6085 5 жыл бұрын
I also have ocd and the way he explains this makes perfect sense. It takes balls to talk about mental illness like this, stay strong mate and I appreciate the video
@dannyshadbolt7103
@dannyshadbolt7103 5 жыл бұрын
First time I've watched this podcast. How fucking refreshing is this! Not watched quite enough to say I'm subbed yet , but this has probably reached more males than 99% of government initiatives surrounding male mental health. I'm not someone who personally suffers but I have a mate just like this and I will be quietly pushing this link in his direction. Cheers for the honesty lads!
@thenelsonbird
@thenelsonbird 5 жыл бұрын
Long time watcher, don't normally comment. You've covered sensitive topics in the best but this was so open, honest and raw and well done, it hits a little close to home. rops to Alfie and the bous
@thenelsonbird
@thenelsonbird 5 жыл бұрын
*past
@thenelsonbird
@thenelsonbird 5 жыл бұрын
*props and *boys I'm a little drunk.
@tommetcalfe6557
@tommetcalfe6557 5 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@brandonm8234
@brandonm8234 5 жыл бұрын
Thought this was how everyone felt tbh and this has been why I ended my last few relationships, seems like a lot of people in the comments can relate to - great to hear someone talking about it publicly
@blackngold007
@blackngold007 2 жыл бұрын
It your DNA telling you not to wife up a thot. Do not dismiss this feeling
@ryanhuntermedia
@ryanhuntermedia 4 жыл бұрын
I think you just might have saved my life. Thank you so much for sharing this mate. I am forever grateful for your bravery. Thank you so much.
@annarose6422
@annarose6422 5 жыл бұрын
my heart goes out to him. takes such a strong person to try and overcome that 💗
@cameronmair5032
@cameronmair5032 5 жыл бұрын
Watched the highlights that are out so far and already know he needs to be back on. Such a good guest with so many stories and insights, we need a part 2
@P_B_FR
@P_B_FR 5 ай бұрын
You will NOT believe this
@trepidstation
@trepidstation Жыл бұрын
This is so so difficult to have. No one understands you and thinks you are just possessive and judgemental. It feels impossible to explain to anyone.
@meeganerose98
@meeganerose98 4 жыл бұрын
Suffering horrifically with this, thank you for being so open. You are an incredible man ❤️ So bloody brave!
@sonnieb10
@sonnieb10 5 жыл бұрын
I’ve been waiting for someone to say this. I have the exact same thing as Alfie. I totally relate with everything he says here. I have had a bad bad week it has been one of the worst weeks ever due to this condition. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one out there. Thought I was insane. I keep trying to contact an ex that I love and ask her every detail about the new people she speaks to. It’s horrible. It’s like I have to know every detail otherwise I will create a scenario in my head which gives me anxiety.
@taxifahrerbodo5559
@taxifahrerbodo5559 5 жыл бұрын
Sonnie bro Idk can u tell me if I’ve got ocd because lately I get really scared and anxious over small stuff like talking bout death and my own health and shit it really makes me anxious if I spot something small like a red spot I would go on google and look up what it is today my skl teacher talked about how one of her students to kidney failure and ever since I’ve been scared I just ate a pita bread and accidentally didn’t chew on it fully and swallowed now I’m scared idk if I’ve got ocd pls help another thing I do is check my heartbeat when I get anxious😔
@sonnieb10
@sonnieb10 5 жыл бұрын
DrszySZN I’m not an expert but I tho k you have a form of OCD
@taxifahrerbodo5559
@taxifahrerbodo5559 5 жыл бұрын
Sonnie ok bro thanks I’m just scared of how anxious I’ve been lately how would I tackle this issue😔
@sonnieb10
@sonnieb10 5 жыл бұрын
DrszySZN just have a look on the internet. Websites like KZbin and reddit are usually the best
@taxifahrerbodo5559
@taxifahrerbodo5559 5 жыл бұрын
Sonnie what do I type
@steph66062
@steph66062 5 жыл бұрын
Wow, this was a really hard-hitting video. Massive respect to Alfie for being so open. I'm studying psychology at uni, but I've never heard of Retroactive Jealously OCD before. Based on the comments here already, it's definitely something that needs to be talked about more.
@NathanSplosion
@NathanSplosion Жыл бұрын
Struggling with this. This video makes me want to cry. Thank you so much for speaking about this. Best of luck to anyone else who can relate to these feelings
@chilliboi9336
@chilliboi9336 5 жыл бұрын
Major respect to you for sharing this. I watched this expecting it to be misinformation and you eloquently captured what OCD is like. One of the biggest 'traps' when dealing with OCD is secondary anxiety when you don't get immediate relief from techniques that usually work, but keep up the fight and you'll see improvements again. All the best moving forward.
@saulsarry
@saulsarry 5 жыл бұрын
I suffered from retroactive jealousy until I was about 21. I always blamed lack of experience/confidence. The feeling eats away at you even though you know it shouldn't matter. A turning point was definitely gaining experience in relationships and maturing.
@soleil7259
@soleil7259 4 жыл бұрын
Do you mean like being in different relationships ? Because i feel stuck i suffer not only from RJ OCD but also FOMO (fear of missing out) when it comes to dating. And i regret past missed chances (didn't date certain people because of hugly effecting life events happening) before i met my first Boyfriend. I really like him but his experiences got him to the point where he knows what he wants but i am just at the start you know 😞 It confuses me so much. Sometimes i wish i had met him later in life.
@katlynsmith7569
@katlynsmith7569 4 жыл бұрын
D. O. I feel the exact same way as you! I’m in the same exact boat
@soleil7259
@soleil7259 4 жыл бұрын
@@katlynsmith7569 We broke up. It happened that i found out what his real personality was. I think in my case it was just not the right person for me.:/ But i really wish you well and i hope you can overcome it one day. All the best to you.
@katlynsmith7569
@katlynsmith7569 4 жыл бұрын
D. O. Thank you! I’m trying my hardest at this moment to work things out, this on top of other problems in our relationship is just icing on the cake :/. Thank you for your reply!
@soleil7259
@soleil7259 4 жыл бұрын
@@katlynsmith7569 You are welcome Katlyn 🍀 I hope everything goes well. Stay strong.
@Jorge-jk5xr
@Jorge-jk5xr 4 жыл бұрын
Fuck... This is exactly what I have. I felt defeated and misunderstood by my closest friends. I'm truly emotional hearing this but also reassuring to know that we can overcome this. Thank you very much for your story
@dominicdunn8385
@dominicdunn8385 Жыл бұрын
How are you doing now brother?
@3lli398
@3lli398 4 жыл бұрын
The part where Alfie talks about mental movies where you create the scenario and play it out constantly hit home so much. I don't have this kind of anxiety but have separation anxiety and health anxiety.. but I also resorted to self harm too and it absolutely sucks. So happy you're in a better place now ♥️ medication and therapy saved my life for sure.
@liamthomas8987
@liamthomas8987 Жыл бұрын
My partner asked me to watch this and I so badly relate, this is mad. I feel more at ease knowing that this may be the case for me! Thanks Jack, Stevie and the wonderful Alfie.
@TheMoreTheMary_
@TheMoreTheMary_ 5 жыл бұрын
Gonna leave this here: OCD suuuuucksss.
@Harz77
@Harz77 5 жыл бұрын
Amen
@joel1418
@joel1418 5 жыл бұрын
No shit
@hareshpuvanagopan2942
@hareshpuvanagopan2942 5 жыл бұрын
I suffer from thus badly. There is a private FB group called 'Dialogue Group for Retroactive Jealousy OCD'. A few have been completely cured and give help. Still about 600 of us trying to overcome this beast. Meditation also helps so try the app Headspace. One day we will get over it. I have to or I'll lose my gf. That would be a greater hell.
@TheMoreTheMary_
@TheMoreTheMary_ 5 жыл бұрын
@@hareshpuvanagopan2942 i have a very different type of ocd but thank you so much for leaving this here for others 💙💙
@Lewis-vg5uu
@Lewis-vg5uu 5 жыл бұрын
That is really difficult to talk about, fair play mate...thank you. I've had the same. That is so refreshing to hear someone else say that. I found time helped a lot. And just the absolute realisation my thoughts were unhelpful & irrational. I love my girlfriend. TIP: Never ask questions you do not want to hear the answers to. Ever.
@navyboy0785
@navyboy0785 11 ай бұрын
Mate, I’ve been dealing with this for 12 years. Been with the same person for 16 years. It sucks but don’t let the thoughts win. Remember the mental movies and timelines in your head are all skewed and truly not reality. They’re with you now and you’re their present and future. You got this mate.
@vaibhavtyagi2954
@vaibhavtyagi2954 10 ай бұрын
Did you manage to overcome it?
@navyboy0785
@navyboy0785 10 ай бұрын
@@vaibhavtyagi2954 pretty much. Sure there are flare ups but it does not rule the majority of my day anymore. I don’t think you can ever overcome it but management is definitely achievable. If I get a thought I just immediately interrupt it by causing “ it doesn’t matter” over and over. Your brain is lazy and will move on to the next thought. After awhile it just becomes second nature to think of the next thing once that thought comes up.
@HigorMatos
@HigorMatos 8 ай бұрын
Do you feel like Your Brain gets "hijacketed"? I feel this way..😢
@navyboy0785
@navyboy0785 8 ай бұрын
@@HigorMatos yes, it can if you fixate on specific things. If you fixate then it’s easy to over think and have your brain hijacked from this. I wish you the best!
@HigorMatos
@HigorMatos 8 ай бұрын
@@navyboy0785 Thank You so much! So, You don't believe its possible overcome this "condition" ( Retroactive Jelousy OCD)?
@awesomeguy2668
@awesomeguy2668 3 жыл бұрын
Didn’t know about RJ until I reached out for advice on Reddit lol. But I’m in my first relationship where I feel I actually love the girl and I now know what it feels like to have it. Aldie is the man for being so open and speaking on it and it’s nice knowing im not alone in feeling this way. Don’t let these thoughts consume you boys, stay strong.
@meriamzahid2736
@meriamzahid2736 Жыл бұрын
The fact that you fear a particular thought, you avoiding it, refusing it, is what keeps it coming back. Refusing and battling with it is the only way its still alive, and thinking about it more and more .. Just observe those thoughts, don't judge them, don't label them, let them pass if they want to pass , let them stay if they want to stay.. it's not OCD those are thoughts and feelings that u refuse to think and feel.. Accept them, just stay with that scenario no matter how scary it is.. let it speak to you.. whats the worst case scenario? whats the fear behind it ? what are u scared of ? is it being abondonned ? is it not being good enough ? is it being betrayed ? what is it ? KNOW IT and WORK ON IT and challeng it, see every proof that those fears are not true or the only posibilty to what will happen and how u are able to handle them if they did happen. Everytime they visit let them communicate to you, thank them for the message and let them go, welcome them again whenever they need to come don't be afraid of them, they are letting you know that there is something inside that u have to work on, it's never about the outside world, or the thoughts or the jealousy it about the fears behind and resistance to the thought itself .
@Wani_Daniel
@Wani_Daniel Жыл бұрын
Hey, thank you for this. Does this eventually cure it, does accepting the thoughts eventually make them go away?
@zachthompson3955
@zachthompson3955 Жыл бұрын
nah that last part was so real about the triggers. Thank you for making this podcast, really helped a lot and helped me discovered what the fuck was happening with me for the past months
@kieranleemorris
@kieranleemorris 5 жыл бұрын
I literally relate to this so much holy shit this is eye opening
@freddieoliver8714
@freddieoliver8714 4 жыл бұрын
This might’ve been the most relatable video I’ve ever watched
@humansignpeace6295
@humansignpeace6295 5 жыл бұрын
as someone with aspergers, pda (pathological demand avoidance) and clinical anxiety, i completely understand the feeling of overthinking over everything. i will overthink things a million times until i have a panic attack and it then makes my autism worse. it’s a real battle but everyday is a new day.
@olihaigh9431
@olihaigh9431 4 жыл бұрын
This is literally me but not on that big of a scale, thought it was just a bit of jealousy, never knew it was an actual thing, many thanks for bringing it to peoples attention
@lisajemus6366
@lisajemus6366 2 жыл бұрын
I get it. So proud of Alfie for sharing this publicly. This is not just normal "jealousy". It is absolute torture and feels extremely isolating. That no one could possibly understand.
@kendallkreidell7299
@kendallkreidell7299 5 жыл бұрын
I’m happy Alfie was willing to speak up about this. I’m sure someone will see this and feel less alone.
@raoulpurba5870
@raoulpurba5870 4 күн бұрын
Thank youu! Ive been suffering with this condition also, I knew I have a normal OCD ever since I was a child. But I didn't know until now that I have retroactive jealousy OCD. This really helps me cuz i'm not alone. 😊😊😊
@mollybrown9799
@mollybrown9799 5 жыл бұрын
Love your content jack. Everyone needs to talk about mental health more especially great to see young men. Big love to you too Alfie
@nrw5513
@nrw5513 5 жыл бұрын
Hey just wanted to say thanks guys for discussing male mental health issues. Being going through a terrible time recently and it's really supporting to hear other men discuss these things so candidly
@ladypenelope572
@ladypenelope572 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your story I’m so grateful to hear someone talking about this so honestly and I feel your pain bro, huge respect for talking about this and I wish you the best in your recovery.
@GrittyX
@GrittyX 5 жыл бұрын
So moved by this...very brave of Alfie to speak so openly about it and so well handled by your co-hosts. No judgment, just friendship.
@angel-us7hv
@angel-us7hv 5 жыл бұрын
proud of alfie for speaking about this :) ocd is still very misunderstood and i’m glad to see more people talk about it
@hecleblue1492
@hecleblue1492 5 жыл бұрын
All my love and respect to the guy, takes a lot to open up about a disorder very rarely spoken about. 💛
@spooderman2616
@spooderman2616 4 жыл бұрын
This has been such a struggle for me, and i genuinely thought it was just me being immature. Thank you so much, i feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
@bunnykill48
@bunnykill48 5 жыл бұрын
Being open and speaking up about mental health is really relieving for anyone dealing with it. Just knowing someone out there understands you is already so motivating. Thanks for the podcast I learned a lot
@ReynumMC
@ReynumMC 5 жыл бұрын
this video has honestly helped me a lot thank you. I deal with the same thing and I never actually realised it'd be something anyone else would deal with at the same level as me. currently dealing with this with my current girlfriend but she's super supportive about it and understands that it's not just me being an overprotective jealous person and I'm thankful that she actually understands as others haven't in the past. it's a fully shit nonstop battle init
@spearfish
@spearfish 7 ай бұрын
Man, I can relate with this guy so much, even the agoraphobia. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up on dating. My mental health suffers immensley whenever I'm in a relationship. I hope this guy is doing better now.
@Dave-og6mb
@Dave-og6mb 12 күн бұрын
thanks for opening up. that takes courage! I haven’t experienced the OCD side of it, so I can’t speak about that part, but I have definitely experienced retroactive jealousy. That’s not the real you. It’s that part of your mind that hates you and does not want you to be happy. Work on the root cause, find techniques to ground yourself into the present, talk to someone , remember where you are and why your current partner loves you. I’m sure there’s many ways to work on it, but do whatever it takes. Do not let it fuck up a good relationship. it’s literally like giving up the present for a ghost of the past that your wounded child has invented.
@joeflory3731
@joeflory3731 4 жыл бұрын
fair enough to alfie here he’s got it absolutely spot on, haven’t ever related to a youtube video more than this
@WhenAphroditeSpeaks
@WhenAphroditeSpeaks 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing! I was a partner to a person exactly with the same pattern of thoughts. It makes me want to make my own video on this how it was like to be on the other side. He was on medication when I met him. And he was weaning himself off the medication his retroactive jealousy would get worse. He worked really hard and hired 4 retroactive jealousy experts and nothing helped him, he stated we had different values around sex, which we did not. He broke with me.
@JaamesOsborne
@JaamesOsborne 5 жыл бұрын
Big love to this guy for speaking out like this
@serinat2181
@serinat2181 5 жыл бұрын
Omg wow I have already been diagnosed with something and to hear Alfie's story is very touching. I'm going through a rough patch too atm
@TheVicktorious1
@TheVicktorious1 3 жыл бұрын
Big up yourself for coming out with this. The stigma of being a man (I know; old fashioned) & being "macho" & unaffected by someone's past really creates a toxic vacuum for sufferers of this as its a daily & constant battle. I know because my triggers are similar to Alfie's. Thank you for speaking out about this & thank you for putting me onto Zachary Stockill. Hope things get better!
@mathewscott9453
@mathewscott9453 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve been with my girlfriend for just under 3 years but it really is an every 10 second thought even too this day, I’m really worried it’ll never go away and I’ll have to deal with this forever. I just want to be happy.
@anmetious4779
@anmetious4779 7 ай бұрын
How are you?
@ishaverma4770
@ishaverma4770 26 күн бұрын
You still together?
@sandyjohnson465
@sandyjohnson465 5 жыл бұрын
Exact same thing happens with me. Theres no control of it, a weird paranoia that can't be controlled and it is all the time. With my girlfriend nearly 3 years and it's still on my mind. This has opened my mind about it more, thought I was the only one. Thanks for sharing it so openly, helps me understand it better!
@Katyjgodfrey
@Katyjgodfrey 5 жыл бұрын
Thankyou for this 🙌 I don’t have the same type of ocd but I can definitely relate to intrusive thoughts consuming your mind as often as 10 seconds (not quite so frequent unless I was severally anxious) Just listening to how he speaks and explains himself and his thought process was actually quite refreshing, I completed 3 months of cognitive behavioural therapy for my ocd and it’s not something I ever hear other people discussing. My ocd can completely consume my life and would make the simplest daily tasks a huge struggle (it’s not so severe now) but again, Thankyou because I would literally laugh and joke to the handful of people I would open up to about my ocd because I knew it sounded ridiculous and I felt like a psycho but again it’s intrusive thoughts, what I’ve learnt is that all people get them, it’s about how people react to them
@pauljdavies4042
@pauljdavies4042 4 жыл бұрын
Oh my god. Mental movies, constant thoughts, you describe the feelings so well. Well done my friend. Zachary Stockill worked well for me.
@ishandeb4172
@ishandeb4172 4 жыл бұрын
Honestly, the triggers could be ANYTHING, big props to Alfie for talking about this, it's such a major help
@caffacaff
@caffacaff 5 жыл бұрын
Sex and love is more than just the physical. It can mess you up even if not in this way. The waiting for that one person you love really makes sense to me.
@jimharris5734
@jimharris5734 11 ай бұрын
Have suffered with this in most of my relationships. Currently dealing with it now and its driving me insane. Its so painful. Years ago i couldn't find anything about it and recently have discovered that it is actually a mental health problem and that im not just crazy. This clip hits home so much and I just wanna thank you for talking so openly. Im lucky that my partner is incredibly understanding and trying to help me through it.
@emilyclarke9949
@emilyclarke9949 5 жыл бұрын
Honestly think it’s great to see people speaking about OCD and the different elements of it, I suffered for over 6 years of my life and I have always wanted to speak on a podcast about it and raise more awareness for young people to feel more comfortable talking about it and truly understanding it as even if you may not have it to educate friends or people around you about it can help so much
@itscharlotte1553
@itscharlotte1553 4 жыл бұрын
I really hope you realize the magnitude of just saying ‘I’ve been going though a rough patch mentally recently’ honestly I couldn’t be more appreciative, it really normalizes mental health struggles and it’s so nice to hear that and personally feel it’s ok to be struggling, so thank you so much.
@jgraham2804
@jgraham2804 5 жыл бұрын
As someone with OCD, hang in there man. It comes and goes, ebbs and flows, but it’s a never ending battle. Remember though, it is part of what makes you goddamn special. Seeing the world in a different way to everyone else feels like a detriment, but it is insight. I know it makes you a more empathetic person, for better or worse, and talking about it openly and honestly WILL make the difference for someone out there. It will change a life for the better. THAT is courage, and I think it’s heroic.
@kieranive8763
@kieranive8763 5 жыл бұрын
what a brilliant comment
@angel-us7hv
@angel-us7hv 5 жыл бұрын
well said!
@josiahcole3186
@josiahcole3186 Жыл бұрын
I had never heard of it before this video, it’s how I realised I myself have it and having a name to it has helped sooo much
@finn14henry
@finn14henry 4 жыл бұрын
everything he said here hit home and has really helped. thank you for how brave you are for saying all of this
@TheofficialSmaddi
@TheofficialSmaddi 5 жыл бұрын
Alfie, fair play for coming out about this, it takes absolute balls. Hope you're doing well now. BTW your music is mega!
@paigeenefer8499
@paigeenefer8499 2 жыл бұрын
It’s weird cos coming back to this video- I watched it before I was diagnosed with OCD and coming back to it I didn’t even realise how much of a part this video played in me being diagnosed so thank you!!!
@ILiquidGasI
@ILiquidGasI 4 жыл бұрын
Never felt so related to something, eating away at me for years. Thanks for opening up about this
@flourishes4u
@flourishes4u 4 жыл бұрын
Absolute top bloke for speaking about this.
@kitty-um8zg
@kitty-um8zg 5 жыл бұрын
i have ocd and it’s comforting to know one of my favourite youtubers has ocd and is still so cool. lots of love, cheers for opening up
@jasonmiradoli8900
@jasonmiradoli8900 4 жыл бұрын
52-yr-old divorcing father of 3 adult kids from the other side of the pond. I'm a good guy, empathetic, compassionate, and have been told at my age, that's all women want - a good guy. But I realize I'm not finding anybody at my age without their own baggage - and I've certainly got my own - and to get through this at my age, though at any, seems a bit daunting. Thanks for your openness about this. Great to not feel alone. Cheers.
@tristanhepburn4130
@tristanhepburn4130 3 жыл бұрын
This is really good to see Alfie talking about this, I’ve only just come across this but the symptoms he’s discussing are almost identical to ones I’ve been experiencing over recent times so it’s nice to know it’s not just me and it’s normal
@sum41intoodeep
@sum41intoodeep 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this mate. Know exactly how hard it can be and drives me bonkers. Keep trooping on buddy
@agran117
@agran117 4 жыл бұрын
Holy shit this has honestly hit home because I have had every single thing that he has described and have also tried choking myself out to give myself a break and was admitted into hospital for it and now this has answered so many questions
@NatalieH-nj8kh
@NatalieH-nj8kh 5 жыл бұрын
I’ve suffered with Pure-O since 2015 (15 years old) which basically means I get an obsession in my head, an intrusive thought, but I won’t do a compulsion to attempt to stop these thoughts. They will literally play on loop in my mind constantly for days and weeks on end. It is mentally and physically exhausting. I’m happy to see more people speak about all these different types of OCD as back in 2015 I didn’t know what was wrong with me I was all alone and couldn’t tell anyone how I was feeling because I never knew it was linked to OCD. There is a misconception with OCD as back in 2015 I thought it was just about cleanliness but it’s way more than that and I wish it was explained more to younger people.
@jonbonjovi9625
@jonbonjovi9625 9 ай бұрын
How do you control it? Can u please explain, I also suffer the same.
@bi_cycle
@bi_cycle 4 жыл бұрын
Him talking about triggers was something I could relate to. Sometimes triggers can be as simple as a common phrase or smell.
@shaunarnoldddd
@shaunarnoldddd 5 жыл бұрын
So glad I found this video, always thought that my relationships always went south because it was me just being the ‘immature over-jealous type’ Didn’t realise that this was an actual thing, literally everything Alfie said applies to me, thanks for sharing x
@paddyoloughlin8666
@paddyoloughlin8666 5 жыл бұрын
I thought everyone went through this stuff when getting a new girlfriend/boyfriend however not to the extent of this lad.
@benildoalvespires4247
@benildoalvespires4247 4 ай бұрын
When the girl friend and boy are virgin also, they don't feel that. Actually, some people don't feel that. Even when their partners aren't virgin any more
@harrybradshaw171
@harrybradshaw171 3 жыл бұрын
didn’t know what i had was a real thing before i saw this. really appreciate alfie for opening up about it, certainly helped me
@chriskamara3305
@chriskamara3305 5 жыл бұрын
Wow. I think I might suffer from this condition, it explains a lot for me. I suffer from these exact symptoms, I have this constant anxiety about the past and I’m having regular panic attacks. Alfies story really resonates with me, I’m finding somewhat comfort in the knowledge that this isn’t just me being jealous or petty or unable to move on. I get the mental movies, I have my triggers and I get regular panic attacks. It’s getting worse and worse with each passing day, and the stupidest, most meaningless shit will set me off, I feel extremely vulnerable right now. Like Alfie said, my triggers are like the click of a finger, almost everything is setting me off, wether that’s just a constant sinking feeling or a full on panic attack varies. I think I’m going to look into Zachary Stockills course and try to improve my currently crumbling mental health. Thank you, this video has made a difference to me.
@SP-jz5dv
@SP-jz5dv Жыл бұрын
Hey there, if you haven't stumbled across this already - please check out Mark Freeman's channel or Jon Grayson's content for more info on OCD treatment, best of luck
@falloutshorts
@falloutshorts 4 жыл бұрын
This video really helped me a lot, I thought I was crazy and I literally don’t even talk to my close friends or family about these problems. So thanks guys this really helps to feel part of the conversations and feel better about myself, thanks again :)
@hadleyamaru3455
@hadleyamaru3455 2 жыл бұрын
Proud of the meaningful progress you have made, Alfie. Huge respect for speaking about this publicly. So happy that our therapeutic intervention informed for you your recovery from OCD and RJ OCD. You did great Alfie!
@AlfieIndra
@AlfieIndra Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for all your help Hadley. Life changing!
@hadleyamaru3455
@hadleyamaru3455 Жыл бұрын
No probs Alfie. I am incredibly happy that you are now 100% RJ and R OCD free. Great work Alfie! Thank you also for the kind words shared in the video testimonial you shared with us online. I really appreciate this.
@harveywright2710
@harveywright2710 5 жыл бұрын
This was really helpful , just wanted to say thanks
@FukKnows87
@FukKnows87 5 жыл бұрын
I have OCD. Massive respect to come on a podcast and speak so openly about something like this. Well done and wish you the best in moving forward.
@marissabishopp
@marissabishopp Жыл бұрын
i seriously thought i was crazy and literally going insane or in a state of psychosis. this video is such a breathe of fresh air to know im not alone. thank you
@spiderqueen4986
@spiderqueen4986 5 жыл бұрын
I can't believe he came on this podcast! The longhouse podcast and happy hour are my 2 favourite podcasts so happy to see this! Poor Alfie can't imagine how tough it is to talk about this!
@linamariacorredor5053
@linamariacorredor5053 10 сағат бұрын
Thank you so much for talking about this. 😭😭😭😭 I feel I am not alone
@AllAboutAwesomeness
@AllAboutAwesomeness 4 жыл бұрын
I feel like I’ve just been given the vocabulary to explain how I feel.
@shaniecegullison
@shaniecegullison 3 жыл бұрын
Me too
@jojo1234a
@jojo1234a 4 жыл бұрын
What an incredible guy to speak about this publicly, I can’t imagine it could have been easy and I also assume it had some mental repercussions after the fact. However the bottom line is that many people have now been educated on a lesser known mental health problem under the OCD spectrum, but more importantly this could be the catalyst for sufferers to recognize the symptoms and seek professional help, ultimately leading to a better quality of life longterm. Thanks for putting yourself out there so openly and candidly, the world needs more people like you.
@thomasduthie5639
@thomasduthie5639 4 жыл бұрын
My bro. What helps even more is you look like someone I would hang with so can really relate. You’ve saved me
@Max-jw8si
@Max-jw8si 3 жыл бұрын
this is really informative and a good presentation of bringing OCD and intrusive thoughts into light. I've struggled with Pure OCD for as long as I remember so this means a lot to me. Amazing podcast Jack!
@333george
@333george 3 жыл бұрын
thanks for sharing this video with me bro i’m glad i’m not the only one who suffers from this sometimes
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