harem anime & the 'pick me girl' paradox

[@ple8379]

I'd say pick me girl is more similar to the "nice guy" syndrome more that to simp imo :0

[@charlee_hotel]

Pick-me girls are a weird _in-between_ nice guys and simps. They're a bit of both.

[@chromnur8518]

its exactly that. both pick me girls and nice guys think they are different from traditional sexists but they want the same thing as them. pick me girls think they are better than "bimbos" or really any type of girls who cater to traditional gender roles to please guys. the thing is, despite challenging those gender roles ("I'm not like other girls"), the pick me girl STILL craves male validation. she just jumps through hoops to prove to the men that she's different because she wants to be taken seriously BY MEN. it's a lost cause though because men will always see her as a girl first and will relish in her hating her female peers because they know pitting women against each other benefits them (the patriarchy).

[@user-0909]

They have this "I'm not x so you should love me " mentality

[@missrebel634]

And both are routed in Misogyny.

[@tothebeyond6318]

simps = thot, nice guys = pick me

[@Mavisdundundunnnmanston]

This makes me appreciate Haruhi from Ouran so much more. She's "not like the other girls," but acts the same with every one and is kind and supportive of other girls. It more explores gender identity, than as a way to put other women down (tho girls are shown as very silly in the show, but oh well.)

[@seekittycat]

I like Haruhi alot, she calls everyone rich bastards and is tired of their financial ignorance (usually rich guys are given a pass but rich women are beetchy 🙄). She will always help anyone and will quietly listen to people's problems. As a host she was always herself with other women (not trying to seduce them, nor find them repulsive, nor try judge them). I like how no matter how "ditzy" or "other girls" the club goers are they're nice people having a good time drinking tea and talking. Nothing wrong with them at all.

[@ruriva4931]

Haruhi being the commoner was also like the only normal person in the show. It was her being so normal that made it relatable but the eccentricities of the rich young ladies were all very fun

[@sofiipote7]

I adored haruhi when I watched the show as a teen. Now I realize it was my gender AND sexual awakening in a way

[@WinterFogFilms]

To be fair! Men are also portrayed very silly. Feminism.

[@cottonsheep2367]

@@sofiipote7 same though, I always wanted to date her and it is truly astounding how it still took several years to finally dawn on me that I'm gay.

[@jadah5314]

School days is so interesting to me. And while I completely understand why everyone hates Makoto, Sekai doesn't get nearly enough hate for me. She knew from the jump that she liked Makoto and instead of confessing she goes out her way to help him get into a relationship and then break that same relationship apart. Makoto showed disgusting repulsive behavior in the way he treated the girls but Sekai fr deserved it.

[@littleplanetgal4142]

Sekai deserved majority of the heat; not only did she befriend Kotonoha who was minding her own business and reserved to matchmake with Makoto who had a crush on her, then proceeds to “play practice” with full intentions to do things with him. Then on, she have the nerve to ignore and had other foul females mistreat Kotonoha for no absolute reason! For what? Because they didn’t like her and thought that banging Makoto will be funny…when ironically he still wanted Kotonoha at the end of day after so many ran through him. Sekai couldn’t accept the fact that she was only a “side piece” despite being treated like number one when he quickly dump her off. All that pick me just for it to crash and burn. I truly despise how majority of the characters mistreated Kotonoha especially Makoto and Sekai who were supposed to be her boyfriend and friend.

[@shinobidaniel_12]

@@littleplanetgal4142 and i hate the both of them equally

[@peachesandcream22]

Visual novel is different from anime, it has different endings. In one of endings, Sekai is put in Kotonoha's place cause she deserved it.

[@HitsugiHime]

Sekai was definitely a horrible person in terms of her intentions

[@CursedCatTruffa]

Also on the vn she did the exact same shit to Setsuna, who's supposed to be her friend! She tried to pair Setsuna with Makoto to only fall in love with him and Setsuna stepping down for her... she's horrible

[@camilarivera9841]

I absolutely despise harems 💀 they always over sexualize the girls and make the same old boring jokes. Oh and did I mention the guy is ALWAYS SO BORING? YOUR DONE. The only harem(reverse) I liked was ouran and I don’t even know if y’all consider that a harem 😭

[@rubyaddison5446]

Literally 😂

[@ConvallariaM4jalis]

Same

[@ple8379]

Only harem I liked was Kamigami no Asobi, which I started watching just when it started airing, without reading the description, I just wanted to watch something new. I always liked the mythology themes, specifically greeks mythologies, so it was the biggest reason why I liked it. I wouldn't probably watch it if I knew it was a harem :0. The female lead was okay. I don't remember her character much so I cannot tell I if she's braking that boring main lead in hentai stereotype (which is probably telling by itself that she's not really memorable :V), but I remember liking her. I didn't find her annoying, so that's good. The guys were okay too, but weren't very fleshed out. If you're into the genre and maybe seeking for something more than just typical high school setting, I recommend it. But I wouldn't recommend it for myself however, since I just don't like harem in general.

[@bogwitchburke]

Reverse harem is its own genre that you might enjoy more then! So many titles!

[@liv.s.]

fr, though ouran is like a pseudo harem. haruhi is a way better character than like 99.9% of reverse harem protagonists bc she actually has a spine so that alone sets her and the show apart💀

[@michellejesica]

When I was in my younger 20's I was very much a 'pick me' girl, and retrospectively I think it's because I was surrounded by or just coming out of a lot of abusive relationships with men. Familial, romantic, platonic. So because of this is I tried REALLY hard to be that cool girl who just said whatever I thought the guys around me would think was cool and would accept. I'm not saying this is the case for every 'pick me' but it's my personal experience. Shout out to therapy for helping me realize that my opinions and thoughts matter waaaaaaaay more than some whatever some dude's.

[@sofiipote7]

Yess thank you for saying this! Pick me girls are usually mocked and criticized (which makes sense), but as a teen I was also a pick me girl so I feel a lot of sympathy for anyone who feels the need to put themselves in that position. In my case, besides also having a lot of trauma related to men, I didn't feel like I fit with gender norms for femininity, and I felt unattractive as consequence, so my reaction was to lean in the opposite direction to be at least cool, if I couldn't be beautiful. It came from a lot of insecurity, of course, but also of the strict and idealized standards of femininity that are fed to girls growing up. I felt really unfit to satisfy them, so that was how I tried to 'solve' it at the time.

[@Crystre]

I want more harem anime that turn into psychological horrors.

[@Imxel21]

That’s just regular harem anime lol.

[@bayas1302]

​@Imxel21 it's gonna turn into psychological horror for viewers

[@HiBuddyyyyyy]

@Imxel21 They want it to be psychological horror intentionally.

[@KayGee_yt]

I, like many others, watched school days when it first came out thinking it was a romance. I hated the main boy and then..... Well. He wasn't a problem anymore 😭

[@sofiipote7]

Haha I didn't watch it but I was fully in the anime community at the time and I remember how everyone was shocked and pissed that they chose the worst ending of the visual novel it was based on for the anime

[@kitsune3224]

I feel like the only interesting harems was Ouran High School Host Club and Doki Doki literature club. Both were unique and had crazy twists!

[@amaranthdahlia]

Hamefura too, mostly for its genuine bisexual harem

[@dotty17]

Clannad is so cute

[@icloesmfh]

Uta No Prince Sama is great too

[@skyleefenty]

School days is just.. DIFFERENT 😳

[@zainmudassir2964]

D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T

[@Sailorlluna]

The worst is when you start an anime and you realize it’s a harem after 3-4 episodes 😭 i can’t explain how frustrating that is.

[@venusluv-i1v]

The problem with harem is how one-sided it can be. I am polyamorous so I don't have a problem with multi relationships. However, I hate when the girls or guys fawn over just one guy or girl to the point they don't have any other life other than this guy or girl.

[@Neku628]

I recall other KZbinrs talking about School Days and how the ending had to be censored in Japan because a murder happened. So, Japan just aired footage of boats.

[@Rainydaydeer]

Man, thanks for the flashbacks to School Days sdfgh I gasped when you brought it up. This was a very interesting, thoughtful video, and I had a blast listening to it. On a technical level, you definitely seem to be getting more comfortable with your editing and your speaking, and it's been a lot of fun seeing your videos grow! The Harem genre, and it's portrayal of the girls in it, is genuinely fascinating. Esp in the way that the genre has been changing? If you compare older examples like Ranma 1/2, Tenshi Muyo, and Tenshi no Shippo to newer examples, there's been a definite shift in how its been going about, and the genre itself seems strictly Ecchi/H Genre now, as opposed to some of its more light hearted predecessors.(Not to say all the older ones were exactly devoid of that sort of deal, looking at you, Love Hina) Even if there were some, uh... Snacksual jokes and drama prior, which in a way kind of feeds into how the girls themselves are treated, too-- Pick Mes and all. I have no idea if I'm making sense BUT. Again, great video, and it gave me a lot to mentally chew on for a while!

[@itsbasicboi]

my heart, thank you 🥹. absolutely agree with everything you’ve said. honestly i usually watch older anime, there’s just something about the nostalgia and genuine character development that is really fun to watch.

[@Wheres_Bunny]

Also if you look at the endings in the Visual Novel, when Kotanoha unalives Sekai, she realizes what she’s done and felt remorse and regret. Whereas When Sekai unalives Kotanoha, she just laughs. As everyone stared in disbelief.

[@SemekiIzuio]

I am Aro Ace and I very much use to feel alienated/different before i came to know these terms. By different i mean i didn't understand why society focused so heavily on sexualization and breeding. I simply do not have the same mental thought process or hormonal desires like normal people did. It gives me a lense to view both men and women as human being. Not equal by any means but equal in being acknowledge respected and seen as human life. So the fact that you started mentioning how men were putting pick me up as political figureheads and how its reversing the course of feminism makes compelte perfect sense. This truly enlightened me because i see it so often in all forms of media. The pick me girls deny their self worth and femininity is sicking and the men just take pleasure pulling the strings all along without having to lift a finger. Mayhaps if they didnt solely pursued snacks they be making healthy relationships with both men and women platonic or not. Edit: oh no dont get into the Incels topic. The whole thing is so sad and bad. A big reason for all these issues is because of s*x and the social pressure for both genders to get it.

[@PsycheAi]

I’m on the aroace spectrum, and I do relate to that alienation. I think there is a pressure to have sex and etc. I also think this topic speaks to how possessive romantic/sexual love can be.

[@Thefoop]

I'm sorta aro/ace, but I'm aegosexual. I like the fantasy behind finding the perfect partner and "cuddling", but I don't find it appealing if it happened to me. But I wish did stop thinking with their parts and more of their brains.

[@angelsmg247]

As an anime fan I really couldn't get into harem anime for the same reasons you stated in the video, but I really liked some of the reverse harems. One thing I appreciated about reverse harems is that the side male characters got some attention to their personal stories/lives and their relationships with each other outside of the female lead. I liked how the supporting love interests were an actual person with different passions/hobbies outside of the relationship dynamics. Even though they were still eye candy and can appeal to the BL demographic at times 😂

[@pusheenqueen519]

Yeah, like the love interests in reverse harems can get toxic af, but (typically) the focus is on the lead and the love interests actually getting along and positively influencing each other. I feel like interactions between characters at least have romance but harem animes almost always are just "girls hot, watch viewer insert fall into her chest".

[@byttercandy]

How do you not have more views? I just discovered your Peach Girl video and am binging all of your videos now, lol. Great content.

[@peachesandcream22]

In my opinion, basic boi doesn't receive many views cause topics he discusses are, unfortunately, little or not popular in KZbin 🤷

[@sophietessier8998]

I stopped watching any harem at the end of 2017. I said no more 🤮 too much sexualisation, too munch of the same old joke, so many award moment and cringe Insel fantasy and so predictable end game. Even more because i never root for the main girl. Its always a week carpet or a unberable tsundere. I am team the girl that say form the start She like the main character and who is confiendent in herself and her feeling, She might be fluter at first but is still have personality. Of course She'll never be choose because of how " wild" She is.🙄 Exemple : high School of the dead's saeko

[@camilarivera9841]

This !

[@Serocco]

Wait Saeko is a pick me? Wha?

[@francisconavarrete3031]

It's made for teens boys lol

[@sophietessier8998]

@@francisconavarrete3031 since when teen boy media can't be well written and not rely on tired trop ?

[@bituinl]

@@sophietessier8998 exactly! There are many shows aimed for teenage boys that are great. Like full metal alchemist, one punch man, hunterxhunter and more.

[@jvever4904]

This video is so fascinating. When I was younger I would watch harem anime with my sister because we were new to anime and couldn't distinguish the good anime from the bad anime. So I've watched 'classics' like Love Hina, and promptly forgot all about what they were about afterwards lol

[@coniwiiuwu5578]

Amazing video! 👏 I agree with (almost) everything haha I have always viewed Sekai as a very clear example of a pick me, so it’s interesting to see someone else agreeing with that. Usually whenever I see school days discussion it’s always “ok but who was the better girl for mc?” or “lmao the anime sucks” (I mean, it’s not like the anime is a masterpiece but I think you can have interesting discussions concerning the characters and how very flawed most of them are), so it’s breath of fresh air to hear actual analysis of the characters lol the anime is kind of like a look into one of the possible outcomes of how an actual harem situation would be like if the MC actually indulged and involved himself with all the girls that fancy him. It’s not a dream come true as it opens up more problems and ultimately makes everyone’s life worse lol Thanks for the video ❤️

[@AraAraArisan]

The game is worse. Whole I know you probably never experience the game, the reviews and info available makes it scary. As well as the mangas/ spinoff mangas. They are..... Terrifying. Makoto gets WORSE.

[@WhimsicalNessa]

He does… I wish I hadn’t done further researched about School Days.

[@mop2420]

Is it weird that I actually liked Cross Days the most out of the Days entries? At least I don’t have to try and babysit Makoto anymore and I wound up enjoying him way more as a straight-up villain rather than a protagonist.

[@Thefoop]

​@@mop2420 finally, a fellow Cross Days Enjoyer. I freaking love Yuuki as the protag and the trolling involving with making Makoto's life hell. Plus Yukki being Yui something is nice (cute design). Roka is alright, though I kinda ship him more with Kotonoha.

[@julissasailormercury6738]

I agree. The only character I really feel bad for is Kotonoha's little sister Kokoro.

[@Animeslaya]

I dont think school days is a good example for this video, it was controversial when it came out and it still is. Its also a reversal of the love triangle trope, makoto gets his comeuppance for acting shitty to both of the girls, and that rarely happens, if at all, in harem animes. Sekai is a shitty friend, and her and makotos relationship is never betrayed in a good or romantic light. her actions are reprehensible, and its frame in the anime that way. In other harem animes its not like that at all. You see it as romantic, or worse, the character is praised for her bad behavior.

[@lolyoutoobe]

You're turning these videos out and I love it, keep up the great content!

[@itsbasicboi]

❤️❤️❤️

[@byakuyatogami2905]

Am I gonna watch School Days? No because thatll probably be bad for my mental health. Did I watch a video summarizing the whole thing and make up an amv in my head to SZAs Kill Bill? Yes... Man bad harem anime with generic ass protagonists made me nervous to get into anime aimed at men...which is weird cause I'm a dating sim player. Though the premise also makes me want to do a comic about a girl who gets cheated on and instead of breaking up with the guy or killing him she does what ever it takes to ruin his life (don't want to get into detail cause KZbin comments section)

[@WhimsicalNessa]

Honestly, it’s better that you don’t watch it. Kotonoha really goes through it in the worst ways. I watch it, because a lot of the anime KZbinrs I watched always said School Days was bad, but never explained why. I understood once I saw it.

[@Thefoop]

I would say that the mangas are easier to stomach, but from bits and pieces of the VN, it's more boring than childishly dark. Though, I do say that how they handle them weren't great. Like at all 😭. I still love that train wreak tho.

[@iBenjamin1000]

I really appreciate people being willing to talk about these more...bad...aspects of anime. seualiation and sometimes not great writing of female characters. but I'd still like to see if there are people talking about good harem anime. for all the more infamous examples, there is literally so much harem/ecchi anime. I think there's potential for some of them to be good, or to at least have aspects that make them better. like ik you weren't trying to talk comprehensively about the genre, and I have heard rumors about school days. but like, you said "let's talk about harem anime" and then used one from the very early aughts. some people will be absolutely overjoyed to know that they've made more harem anime since then.

[@GensChilledCola]

bro school days was something else, my friend made me watch it and the whole time i just sat there like 😐

[@spoopep]

Your videos are so qualitative as usual !! I love your analysis I find it funny how reverse harem inverses the codes of harem at the same time as the gender. Even tho the protagonist stays sometimes bland for self-insert purposes, the main cast of guys usually is really well developped and the story is axed around feelings and character developpment (compared to the basic harem that would be pretty much just be ecchi, comedy and like 5% character building). It's not surprising how it's usually written by women for women, so it really knows how to target the desires of female audiences. Even if it's a harem, so it's a display of fantasies it's really more emotionally mature and it's much more easy to find something to relate to. Although harem is pretty much just for and by cis-het people, i think non-reverse harems takes its audience ("typically" young men) for complete morons. I'm really sorry if i made any mistakes, my english is not that good 😭

[@faraf5997]

Your voice is so soothing ✨im glad the algorithm led me to you

[@sydmarm.4442]

10s across the board! Your video essays never fail to entertain and inform! Thanks for the update!✨💕❤️

[@fallonreads9423]

School days traumatized the hell out of me when I watched it I was like 13 😭

[@Secretelover12]

17:50 explains JustPearlyThings

[@xgremlynnx]

I love school days!! I wish we had more horror twists on harem. I'd love for you to talk about rumbling hearts some day!

[@meow7629]

do you wear makeup? you’re like actually so pretty kept getting distracted the entire video LOL

[@tsunderelolita]

I enjoyed the video and your analysis on the various topics! Though I did get lost on how everything was connected? Maybe it just went over my head and someone else can explain. Why were gyarus, specifically kogyarus mentioned? And I'm a bit confused how we landed into incels. We started with pickme to harem anime in general, then... Im assuming you went into a brief timeline for how hentai anime started? Then it went into hentai anime with incels but I'm still not sure how incels are related to the original harem anime topic. It felt like a tangent instead of relating to the original video topic but I could just be lost lol

[@VMKjelly]

Love the school days manga where the three of them are all in on the cheating.

[@samnicole831]

Keep up the good work. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS

[@gracielanouatin6017]

I remember see a vidéo saying try to stand out among other girl are a tactic of love in japan

[@semi_enigma]

So glad I found your channel!

[@zainmudassir2964]

Honestly the best end would have been sekai and kotonoha realise they don't need makoto and become close friends,maybe more💞

[@vienv]

Girlfriends?!?! 😱😱😱

[@Val1im22]

Everytime i see smth talk about school days I always have to tell ppl to look up the 0verflow family tree Please just look at it

[@Thefoop]

Yeah. Devil incarnate is practically the father of a good chunk of the School Days cast.

[@neptunesbitch1305]

I love your videos

[@layla-8369]

Thank you for another great video!!

[@otakueve117]

Yeah I never really watched school days , just some clips. It was just too uncomfortable for me to watch as I was still know to anime at the time. To this day I still haven’t watched it cause I know I would just end up screaming at the characters and get too angry and disgusted to watch it.

[@pixelated.peachyangel]

I loved this review. I watched this anime back in middle school and I hated Sekai a lottt.

[@mittag983]

I only hate Makoto he is a cheater (Sekai is annoying tho)

[@mojyoqueen350]

School days is my favourite anime since I've watched it [probably because I like to see cute girls suffer]. But I seriously enjoyed Makoto being a (*put bad word here*) and then getting punishment. Sekai deserved punishment too. In contrast - Kotonoha deserves better. Also as far as I know Gals are more about being an "American Malibu Barbie" than being a snacky for olds.

[@SpaceBunnyful]

Me: never seen school days. Me after this video: Well that escalated quickly.

[@alvafairchild13]

The problem with the concept and gender politics of pick me girl and nlog is that its a label meant to box someone in its not one you associate with its one placed on you by people who don't know you and are only judging you based off of what they see it's stupid any non feminine or anti feminine behavior is because of the patriarchy and because the person is attention seeking this is the same crap they used to put on people who were "emo" its just a way to judge and point at people who are different from you be cause you can't call people geeks, gay, slurs like they used to it's ridiculous

[@BannanaAnna12]

I hate Harem series, they’re always about how special the guy is and that being the reason all woman (and girls, ew) cling to him and not about them loving him for personality or literally anything else than him being strong and having saved them at one point, often from slavery. It happened more than once that I read ahead on an isekai series and it just proves to use the same tropes typical for isekai but just later like mushoku tensei

[@michellegebert8280]

I'm cool watching an analysis on this show but never in hell am I watching it, I don't think I could take it💀

[@dontknowme2001]

yeah I just loooove how everyone who uses the word “pickme” is a huge misogynist themselves 😂 like if saying “wow I’m not a pick me” is somehow different from saying “wow I’m not like the other girls” 🤣

[@kosuzumotoori]

12:58 ok I don't agree with this. Like we can have a debate on this but don't say it like it's a fact everyone knows. You are only telling that because Kotonoha sliced her stomack open only to find out she doesn't have anything inside her. Except how are you supposed to see a tiny foetus in the middle of the night by opening someone's stomack ? Plus she is completly crazy at this moment. And considering how Sekai panicked when she discovered how she was pregnant it's most likely true

[@AndSoWeLaughed]

You have a pick me boys video?!

[@missstranger7697]

He does!

[@SemekiIzuio]

He mentioned it on his video... said not to watch it as it was one of his early videos

[@Thefoop]

I just remembered the only characters I likef were Kotonoha, Setsuna (not as much), and Yuuki. Otherwise, everyone was a two-faced bastard. But for some reason, I loved watching that train wreak (manga/VN).

[@chebochebo3058]

❤ oh my god🤗 how I am I only knowing you now? ❤

[@EverydayASunday]

I felt nothing but relieved when she offed her ngl

[@chiwa_sedu6975]

22:31 the left ear kinda looks like a face

[@crystalwaites4731]

15:20

[@nfsiiihp]

Nice! But may I say how great you look in that vest? BEAUTIFUL

[@thatsrealroughbud...2394]

The “anti-feminist pick me girl” definition is high key misogynistic and controlling tbh. It’s the same energy that people have in terms of entitlement over people’s speech, opinions, and political beliefs if they’re not white as if skin colour or sex limits your right to any of those things. Very Ayana Presley “We don’t want black faces who won’t be black voices” / Biden’s “If you don’t vote for me, you’re not really black”.

[@charlee_hotel]

1:07 I *HATED* that show!!!

[@martinashay7542]

i want to be your friend omf

[@kidAssassin-gd2yr]

If I was in The matrix I would take the blue pill i would believe my life was a lie

[@foggyfrogy]

Ohh he mentioned Ai Yori Aoshi :D ...oh he mentioned Ai Yori Aoshi.... (i actually like Aoi)

[@twideslauriers7875]

Not a fan of how this leans into swerf territory at the end. Porn is morally neutral, its capitalism and misogyny and cishetero normativity that leads to the prevalence of violence against women in the industry. Small porn studios, especially those run by queer folks, rarely run into these problems compared to larger companies. And provided the material being drawn isnt like, pedophilia, hentai is even less likely to run into this when being made by more independent creators! I also just think the semi mainstreaming of kink is just not good, as a kinky person myself. Cishets mainstreaming it turned it from an optional add on to sex to something thats expected of a lot of women and its just become a mess.

[@theshawnatiom7918]

You forget that most hentai in 2019 and 2023 is drawn by women.

[@SemekiIzuio]

The pick me girl has always existed but perhaps the rise in pick me girls correlated with the rise of hentai written by women during the perfect time of 2019-2023 in which pick me girls were rising? They would definitely know how to wtite hentei if they themselves are a candidate themselves lol

[@netizenrealness]

i think he meant corporate h*ntai made by studios, but fair point