Harry & Paul ~ The Confectioner

Do you have a sweet tooth madam?

[@drewyStyla]

Milky Boy & Bum Gums are Bunny's favourite confectionery. He's been enjoying them for forty to forty-five years.

[@ezzy525]

Bunny must be 85 now. I guess that means he was around what 40-45 years old at the time?

[@henrybalkwill3276]

Is Bunny a Quare?

[@ezzy525]

@@henrybalkwill3276 Well of course...he LOOKS like a quare...and he SOUNDS like a quare, so yes I would think he's probably a quare.

[@drewyStyla]

Bunny has been Quaring away like Billy-O for forty to forty-five years. He's an incorrigible old Quare. He loves it.

[@ezzy525]

@@drewyStyla Oh has he? Well I'll mark Bunny down as a probable quare.

[@pattayalob]

I used to think Mitchell and Webb were the best contemporary comedy actors but I have now relegated them to number two. Paul and Harry are sublime.

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

Do you have a sweet tooth, madam?

[@alexsilk5648]

Same

[@Kris.G]

@@dracodeanglicus3857 My late husband had a sweet tooth, before the reaper came for him with the rabies.

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

Perhaps you’ve heard of some of my confections?

[@SingleTrack66]

I can let you have a room for 1 and 3 ... if you leave no stools in the chamber pot.

[@GreenyRepublic]

Paul Whitehouse's delivery in this is just magnificent.

[@emlynjay8633]

A brilliant Comedy Actor: one of our finest.

[@winstoncoolidge1644]

Well said

[@jakemason100]

Blurm and crunt bar flatlined me

[@redcalx9568]

Milky boy

[@beckriv9854]

Did the reaper come for you, with the rabies?

[@AdamRThomasMusic]

BLERM the way his whole body language shifts when he says that is so threatening

[@kd5txo]

Not to be confused with Slurm (the soft drink) ....from Futurama Cartoon

[@warriorofwrestlingv3]

I still don't know what the fuck these sketches are about, but I find them to be fantastic

[@argieav]

I think they are, at least in part, a kind of comic homage to the visual and scripted storytelling of series like Lustgartens 'Scotland Yard' TV series, circa 1959. And the noir-ish, crime films of that era generally.

[@carllinney3132]

Tuppeny butterquims ... for that mister whitehouse I will forever hold you close to my heart.

[@drybiscuit]

There's no possible way they could have got through this in one take. Would love to see the out takes. 😂😂😂😂

[@hildibildibaldi]

"I can let you have a room for one and three if you leave no stools in the chamber pot ............." Perfect.

[@simonf8902]

Leave no stools.

[@patagualianmostly7437]

That line killed me!

[@hildibildibaldi]

@Ted Wilson Stering currency. 1/3. One shilling and threepence. Twenty shillings in the pound; twelve pennies per shilling. When Britain went decimal currency in the early 1970's a shilling was converted to 5p and 100 (new) pennies made up the pound instead of the previous 240.

[@ErinScope]

Their ability to create new words. Blurm. Gold.

[@dreamcastfan]

Tuppenny Butterquims are the funniest I think, although Krunt Bar comes close!

[@ianwebster6874]

+photographboy The way Paul says "Blerm" is amazing!

[@GirGir183]

+photographboy What about Kitteris Katteris.

[@GirGir183]

+William Spurr There's an ice-pop (ice-lolly) in Germany called a Bum-Bum.

[@GirGir183]

William Spurr I'd say a lot of Germans probably do. I'd like to know what the guy who thought of it had in mind tho.

[@NickForest999]

Bum gums...they could catch on! 😀

[@dave13dc]

I love the way he asks himself whether he needs a dump before accepting.

[@Robbbo64]

Fantastic acting. Whitehouse is a genius. And oh boy, do I like the way he says "Tuppenny butterquims".......

[@jamesluby6705]

They are very tasty, only on my birthday, of course...

[@ianheath4332]

I would buy these just for the name

[@Redjackal69]

Just sheer class! If only Mars were to make Crunt Bars!!

[@tsarenvy]

Sarah Millican has let herself go.

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

Perheps.

[@vantheman1234]

tsarenvy genius 😂

[@therighthandofhearns9075]

I thought she looked better! 👍

[@MrDavey2010]

This predates when she let herself go!

[@MrDavey2010]

Henry Byrd Not at all surprised. She comes over as nasty.

[@philsadler9810]

The way I always interpreted these sketches was that the landlady is lonely and going insane so she imagines these odd visits from the writer/confectioner, which is why she always looks so sad at the end :)

[@niamhoconnor8986]

No. I'm afraid not. Not that I recall..

[@GreenyRepublic]

To take it one further: perhaps it turns out that the reason why she seems so distressed at the names of the sweets in this sketch is because she has heard of them, and that they were in fact favourites of her dead husband. She's trying to keep up the facade of not knowing so that she doesn't have to think too much about it.

[@stevenmiller4840]

Dead husband she killed. Hit him over the head with a stool-less chamber pot. Hence why she requests the confectioner to leave "no stools" as he is next.

[@DarkKnightwing75]

This is based on a really dark and creepy short story by Roald Dahl called “The Landlady.” I think the plot of that was the Landlady being a murderer or something creepy if I remember correctly

[@vortex63]

@@DarkKnightwing75 Just watched a short on Talking Pictures TV called 'Sugar''.It's about the end of sugar rationing after the war,made in 1953.I'm pretty sure Harry and Paul saw this - very noir, surreal and,in some places,very sinister.Of course they could have lifted the ideas from any noir film from back then.

[@DinsdaleDinsyPiranha]

Still laughing after watching countless times. Thank you!!!

[@simonf8902]

I watch this OBSEVILLELY.

[@gjwestonable]

Possibly for me one of the best sketches ever. Absolutely fantastic, my kids love this too.

[@vtr0104]

Perhaps they have a sweet tooth :D

[@petedevon4450]

Brilliant! I have an explanation for anyone who's thoroughly confused, as a lot of comments seem to indicate. I had to watch a few times before I got it. Here goes. A travelling salesman calls into a bar. He's bored and pissed off with his job. He hasn't really noticed his hostess until she makes polite conversation. Being a Lothario without company tonight, he wonders whether she's flirting. Even if she's not, it might be worth a crack, so he takes up the chat. She's a widow. "BINGO" he thinks...she's lonely: I can crack this! And so the seduction begins, mildly at first, but getting more and more suggestive. And she's getting tempted, because she IS lonely. Aroused as she is, she knows he's a bounder and a cad and she brings him down to earth with a bang. "Do you want a room or not?" she asks coldly. "You can have one if you behave yourself." He pretends that that was what he was considering all along, but as soon as she's distracted he runs like hell. I did consider not typing all this out. No doubt brighter people than me got it first time, and everyone else seems to love it anyway. But now when I watch it, I enjoy it even more. The overall surrealism allows use of the nonsense words, and the nonsense words allow Paul Whitehouse to show yet again what a superb comic actor he is. Why some words are funnier than others though, I can't explain.

[@jameslynch7826]

A work of genius Brilliant

[@martinjohnson9316]

Comedy taken to a higher level ...hilarious!

[@annother3350]

Yes, their best work

[@shinra18]

it's the way he moves his head when he goes "Krunt Bar" Very aggressive >3

[@OwzatOllie]

I love it when he says tuppeny butterquims! it brings tears to my eyes lol

[@twinturbo5212]

Me too, when I remember this sketch it’s the sentence that always stands out. Hilarious

[@bobroberts6155]

Gets me every time, both the line and it’s delivery.

[@bobroberts6155]

Gets me every time, both the line and it’s delivery.

[@ilokivi]

Dark, edgy comedy with strong parallels to The League Of Gentlemen. Excellent scene.

[@waynejarrell1]

The laughter destroys this

[@xtraspecialmango]

Half a pound of Tupperny-Butterquims shopkeep! And don't spare the horses.

[@robbryant52]

Brilliant I have watched this so many times lost count

[@luminousfractal420]

needs its own series 😂😂😂

[@MissMartiniCorsetry]

Mintables, Fludge, Kitteris Katteris, Milkyboy, Plenis Pastels, Blurm, Krunt Bar, Pubile Drops, Sherbert Spume, Tuppeny Butterquims, BumGums. my spelling could be different from others - My favs BumGums and pubile drops . flmao

[@whatshisname3304]

i used love these excellent confections myself , i cannot see the humour in it . especially blurm and fludge.

[@BossySwan]

BumGums 😂

[@SingleTrack66]

It’s such a shame that you can’t still buy Tuppeny Butterquims

[@jonnamechange6854]

Plenis **Pastilles**

[@Darkstar263]

Blurm and Krunt Bar made me laugh the most.

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

*_Milkyboy?_*

[@redcalx9568]

Tupenny butterquims omg

[@StonyRC]

Weird ... and hilarious. Tuppenny Butterquims ... four ounces please!

[@TheWizardOfTheFens]

These were so well done.

[@Kelly14UK]

These 2 are amongst Britains' funniest and most talented. Whitehouse was on Novelty Island, Big Night Out. Bra or Pond.

[@CRB1971]

Utter genius: if only modern comedy was this good!!!!

[@franksfiddle9031]

"if you leave no stools in the chamber pot ..." 🤣🤣🤣

[@salr362]

Ah, tuppenny butterquims. I used to get sixpence worth on the way to school in the 1960’s.

[@alexlovesjapan]

Tupenny-butterquims!!! Love these guys, they r legends!!!

[@fordlandau]

Leave no stools.

[@pinksin103]

Chocolate in a bottle, sending out an SOS to the world!

[@pinksin103]

Frankly my dear - I don't give a chocolate!

[@stevedoubleu99B]

Very skilfully crafted.

[@robmochdre]

Pure genius ! Tuppenny butter quims

[@BigyetiTechnologies]

Flurm, Crunt Bar, Sherbert Spume are ace.

[@Macho_Fantastico]

"Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne"

[@SimonFurber]

Mintables. Blerm. Crunch bar. 😂

[@thomascassidy8347]

This is so fab and surreal xx

[@vikkiLH77]

Bum gums 😂

[@shepherdmg]

Crunt Bar makes me laugh until my ears hurt

[@Polly7]

OMG! It's camiila parker bowles-euch! Brilliant Harry and Paul

[@jaydubbyuh2292]

All of the names of his infamously obscure confections are hilarious. Some, sound benign & apt, but some of the others seem suggestively obtrusive. Hilariously written & delivered. "..Milky Boy...Kitterisch-Katterisch... Fludge...Bum Gumms..." Lol.!

[@jamesadams6009]

Plenis Pastilles!

[@thomascassidy8347]

This is wonderful xx

[@redcalx9568]

pure ART

[@pumpkinhill4570]

He really channeled Christopher Lee for this one.

[@twickersruss]

Reminds me of the film Eraserhead. Funny the foirst time like a bad dream the second time you watch it.

[@winsomehax]

Why is this funny... I have no idea, but it is. That's why it's genius. Ordinary comedian can't come up with it.

[@SmokeyBCN]

Tuppeny Butterquims 👄

[@winstoncoolidge1644]

Paul Whitehouse Is such an AWWSOME period actor

[@Andrew-yb1uv]

Now and again, I test my sons on how many they can remember 😊

[@PSUK]

Tuppenny Butterquims 🤣🤣

[@VoltaFlame]

these sweets must have been the under the counter ones, as i never did see them in the old sweet shop i used to go to.

[@PMunkS]

I'm compelled by the sublime mystery cultivated throughout this exchange to wonder what the price of lodging might be if stools were deposited in the chamber pot?

[@Joshywoshyngton]

I fancy a Krunt Bar right about now 😤

[@Harmonical1]

Fantastic inventive and surreal comedy. But so few people ever saw it on TV because the bloody BBC chose to show it at 9.30 on BBC2 - I don't think they like Harry Enfield.

[@fordlandau]

No stools in the chamber pot.

[@simonf8902]

Love it ❤

[@rabwoody264]

Leave no stools in the chamber pot, then he feels his gut .. funnnnnnneeeee ..

[@avec4amadman1]

Crunt bar 😂

[@vortex63]

I love that barely audible background sound - sort of like a muted one note howling wind. Very 'Eraserhead.'

[@PeterScargill]

Thats' the one that got me..SO FUNNY

[@davidheaney9249]

Genius ...

[@jonnnyren6245]

Bloody fooking hell man, King Charles III and Anastas Mikoyan! 😂😂😂

[@Offshoreorganbuilder]

Toilet mouth.

[@pinksin103]

The edge of the Universe is CHOCOLATE!

[@daverage4729]

Now I just fancy a Krunt bar. Sounds offensive but possibly tasty. I'm guessing its Chocolate toffee, chocolate chips and nougat.

[@nickturner4150]

And a crunchy krunt topping.

[@fl3162]

Pure genius

[@permaveg]

"Pleenis pastles" "funt bar" "Shepard spume" , how did they think them up !

[@jonnamechange6854]

More likely Plenis Pastilles, Crunt Bar, and Sherbert Spume

[@twinturbo5212]

Still my favourite sketch

[@pinksin103]

Chocolate hair cut - I'll mop up, leave it to me!

[@benjarvis555]

Bum gums

[@hugom-s9429]

Quite brilliant

[@deandrake3396]

Haaa haaa haaa classic ! 😂

[@aldershot5100]

Very odd briliant

[@kamek200]

Some of Thomas Beckett's best work

[@jamesadams6009]

Samuel.

[@cmasseylynch]

See Paul Whitehouse in the UK film Ghost Stories, (2018)he is in the first story ,its quite scary,

[@pinksin103]

So this is chocolate, and what have you done, another year over, another one just begun!

[@petrichor649]

So clever

[@pinksin103]

A chocolate a day keeps the doctor away!

[@Kelly14UK]

Enfield looks like Oliver Reed here

[@shauncorless8965]

Mikey boy and bum gums are Philip Schofield's favourite,s

[@craigsievewright8003]

….milky boy??? Pissed meself.

[@acjbigpond]

I love this sketch but I still wonder why he throws the sweets into the bag at the beginning of the sketch.

[@kevinturvey8213]

BUM GUMS!

[@felixheiss]

Amazingly funny . Maybe even more so if you can remember when people were actually like this in the remarkably archaic 1950s .

[@elswick4636]

I just found out this sketch is a reference to The Third Man scene where he’s asking a guy if he knows any of his novels :)

[@fordlandau]

About the best ever.

[@cmasseylynch]

Debbie Harry has let herself go a bit.

[@danjames4086]

Paul Whitehouse as a creepy caddish type...brilliant.

[@JoshJetStream]

"Crunt bar..."

[@fordlandau]

Brilliant Worthy of Marcel Proust.