He’s Not Ready for a Relationship? Say THIS to Him… | Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

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***
“I’m just not ready to be exclusive with anyone…”
There’s no good way to hear that sentence from a guy’s mouth.
Maybe he’s focusing on his career. Maybe he’s travelling the world this year and won’t have time for a relationship. Or maybe...potentially...it’s just his BS excuse because he wants to play the field and enjoy the sexual delights of the bachelor lifestyle.
All that matters is this...what does it mean for you?
I’ve seen so many women handle this conversation in TERRIBLE ways. They get upset, angry, emotional - giving up months and months trying to win him over and convince him to be in a relationship.
I know this sucks, but I’m going to show you EXACTLY what to say in your response to a guy in this moment so that you feel empowered, confident, and in control of your romantic destiny again
Remember, it’s not what other people do that defines the quality of our love life, but how we respond to what other people do.
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[@audreyj.3816]

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option" Mark Twain. BTW, thank you for your advice Matthew

[@marnniebabe]

just happen to me 3 days ago lol

[@Tay0003]

i like that quote thank you , im going to use it

[@TheMallyjoe]

I hate guys who munipulate you .They sAy I love you and want a life with you but don’t want to marry you they just won’t let go of you and you believe them.

[@cipryan96]

After you dumped me and fucked other guy, then came back and want a relashionship...you will be just an option. :)

[@Miamibubi50]

Love your mark teain quote ! I’m gonna steal it ok? !! Love to you

[@bubelaJC]

Am I the only one who feels that if a guy says "I'm not sure", it's a total turnoff that makes me not want to be with him? This exact situation happened to me about a year ago and it was so painful and disappointing to see that this guy I was crazy about didn't feel the same way back, to the point where I started reevaluating whether I even wanted to be with someone who felt unsure about me. I handled it a bit different than Matthew recommends, I wished my ex well and said I wanted to be with someone who had no doubt in his mind that I was the right person, and if that wasn't the case then we weren't right for each other. I didn't exactly give him the opportunity that I would be open to getting back together if he changed his mind because my mind was already made up that I deserved no less than a man who's as in love with me as I am with him and puts equal effort in the relationship. He tried getting back together a couple of times after that but it was a no for me.

[@JB-km1yk]

I think there is a difference in how quickly someone realizes how they feel about their partner, or about a relationship in general. Men definitely take more time then women when it comes to comittment, perhaps you should take this into account when judging him for being uncertain at a time when you are already certain. They forgive us for being slower at parking :)

[@Shay4YourMind81]

Nope--you're not the only one who feels that way. If a guy isn't 100% sure if he even wants to be with me, why waste time on him when I could be with someone who IS 100% sure. Life's too short for that nonsense.

[@steppentofortune7934]

You are wise and appreciated for it!

[@harveydentcanwetrusthim8103]

good for you :)

[@olgalanda4658]

this teared me up is exactly what im going through and exactly what i need to say to him thanks Matt

[@lili1234546]

exactly I'm balling in tears right now

[@Lorilicious100]

Anonymous I totally understand how that feels. I have been left for a random girl after the guy told me he wasn't ready to get into anything serious at the moment. We were seeing each other a few months and it was long distance. He dropped me out of his life for a random hookup. We were not talking for a while and Somehow we end up talking again this year and I'm again driving myself crazy right now. He has been distant again for a few weeks and I don't even have the energy to even confront him about what he really wants. I feel like just letting him go but I am so upset because of the connection that I have with him that I have never had with anyone else.

[@mylenewhittingham1875]

Lori, I know how it feels, but because life is too short I search my self worth once again. Been asking myself if sacrificing myself worth, my time and my total being to someone who never even value me as a woman is enough?! Then I stare myself in the mirror, now this time I felt pity and sorry for myself. I told myself, i deserve someone better. Someone who will cross the ocean for me, someone who will love me at my good and bad. Someone who will never break my heart. Life is beautiful to get wasted, its to short to played around. So I decide to spend it to the one person who knows how to value me.

[@lucys.3324]

Mylene Urot I love ur answer! I've been dating for 2 months, he says that we are serious and a relationship it is just a title. We see each other couple times per week, I met his father and some friends already, one of them even mentioned that he said that he thinks I'm the one... anyways, it still bothers me that he didn't say anything about being in a relationship.

[@EdithBurchett]

Wow, crazy! I watched this video yesterday, straight before I met the guy, that I was dating about almost 3 months. I felt that we should talk & then he said: "I don't want a relationship." And I reacted pretty much like in this video. He struggled with his statement, because he probably thought that we could keep it casual. I said that I don't want anyone getting closer to me, if he's not sure. He struggled a lot & so did I. now he is gone and I‘m sad & don't think that he's coming back. But I guess this was a good decision, because I feel strong & self-determined.

[@reemadeo5974]

I will do the same as well in coming days. I don't like this on and off relationship. Drains energy out of me. Iam replying your message after a month. I wonder how u feel about him now. Has he returned to you? Or are you happily moved on from him? Please do share

[@EdithBurchett]

Hey,@@reemadeo5974. Thank you for the message. He never texted or called me. He watches every Instagram story, likes my Facebook posts and asked my friend how I am doing, but well... Never contacted me directly. I guess he is a bit afraid, because I said quite clearly that now I need space and that if I am a "maybe" he is a "no." Sometimes I miss him, but I am not sure if I really miss HIM or just the fact that I had SOMEONE. In general I feel good, I have guys in my life who are investing in me and know that I did uphold my standards and that it was the right decision. Wish u the best. :)

[@reemadeo5974]

@@EdithBurchett thanks for sharing. Wish you all happiness and much blessing in life ahead. Your comments has strengthen me alot. Thank you

[@fanishaamelia4912]

I sent him this message yesterday as Matthew said in this video. But he just did read my message and was online but he didnt reply me.

[@yuchenzeng7184]

exactly the same thing happened to me!

[@mitramohammadi3238]

I said exactly what you said today, and I cried afterward. but I feel good about it because I'm sure it was the best thing to do. Thank you so much Matthew for your advice.

[@Nicki17321]

This is way too much talking for me. I've been there and done that. The next time a man tells me something like that, the only thing he will hear from me is "ok, thanks for letting me know." The conversation and contact will end there on my part. If a man isn't sure, odds are he feels he can do better at that moment or really doesn't want you for whatever reason. He could also have you there as a filler girl just to feed his ego and keep him comfortable by having someone there. Either way, he isn't that interested. Most guys are pretty good at judging what type of woman you are so the guys who say this just don't think you will leave and will keep being strung along while they "figure things out". If you just move on and do you without all of the extra chit chat, they will probably pop back in anyways especially if you aren't rude and extra about it.

[@MegaLadylove2012]

I agreed with you as well. Thou, your expression may add extra value that you're OK without him and you know what you want. Saying this from a calm place, can make any person think, and think hard. Just say it, and move on. Words does matter. Expression matters. Expression makes all the difference between an OK relationship vs an amazing one.

[@cwilson586]

Haha exactly! I think Matt is brilliant, but this advice feels a bit hollow. I can wish and hope that a guy is really "thinking about if he wants me" but at the end if the day, a guy won't let go of someone he can't be without! (most times) Haha I've been here soooo many times. once, guy started dating a woman like a couple months after he gave me every bullshit line he could come up with.

[@Nicki17321]

+Serena Quaye You're so right. If a person isn't sure about me, I have no other choice but to be ok with it because I can't make them see how awesome of a woman I am. A lot of guys already know this but really acknowledging and understanding what that means is another story. You and Matt are correct when you say expressions matter because I when I walk away, there is no drama or long speeches. Once they realize that I set the standard, they come back.

[@Nicki17321]

+cwilson586 Yes! that happened to me as well, which is why I'm not giving speeches. When that happened to me I knew the that men already know what it is they want because they would have a gf all of a sudden after not being ready. I've learned not to invest emotions until they have proven I should trust them with them. I will still be respectful and caring but I've learned to set limits and read the signs the relationship isn't going anywhere eariler. There are no fantasies or movies playing in my head. I just take the situation for what it is and go from there.

[@JulietteZephyr]

+T Allen 100% agree... I do feel, however, that there is a difference between the "player" type and the type of guy who has perhaps been hurt in the past, and has hangups about commitment. I feel as though Matthew is referring to the latter group in this vid.

[@whatwhatwhatwhat3953]

"I lost someone who never loved me. He lost someone who loved him." Not really, you lost someone you loved and he lost someone he didn't love. Could be a matter of perspective

[@Mehrunissah93]

I just want to point out that those sentences have the same meaning.

[@bhagirathypillai8458]

Cohn Jena hurts

[@LifeFlamesReunion]

Cohn Jena nope. You don't lose someone you love. You can love him from afar

[@cocodeville72]

Just because someone doesn't want to be in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean they're confused.

[@iSugarHeart]

+Coco DeVille Time is only currency we really own. Why would he waste so much of his time , on something he doesnt want? Do tell.

[@cocodeville72]

Could mean friends with benefits obviously.

[@iSugarHeart]

Coco DeVille Well you kinda get what sort of thing they are looking for info before it turning into that. If you have honest relationship with a person i dont see how this confusion may be created.

[@bunnyh7004]

@cocodevile it means he is confused about wanting to be with YOU. It means that they don't think you're good for them because they think there's someone else better.

[@jburckhardt]

+Coco DeVille they are insecure!!! I can say from my own experience either coming from him or from me...

[@hellokitty4063]

works like a charm

[@krokantekip]

what was ur situation?

[@brownieblossom8916]

How long after you said that, did he say he wanted a relationship?

[@nichole8609]

Every single video Matthew has put out has helped me to focus on the qualities I want and value in a relationship.

[@jackyharrington148]

I love you Matthew but this advice is so wrong!!!!! When a man says he's 'not sure ' about being in a relationship, it usually means with you....!!!! I would save my Breath to cool my porridge and simply say 'thank you for your honesty, good luck and goodbye'.... too much investment

[@jackyharrington148]

A man is more likely to want you back if he sees you leading an awesome life without him!!! Telling him that you hope you 'will still be around' when he makes up his mind is the worst possible Advice ever...!! So needy and desperate...😘

[@AnnetteICBrady]

Thank you for sharing such a lovely message. And I told him, and he responded was" Understood "

[@sb9758]

I didn't say ANY of these things. I just said "Okay". And never contacted him again. I cried everyday. But I didn't beg

[@miekejvrensburg937]

Love love love this video. I have probably watched it multiple times over the last few months. Such great advice. And makes me know that I am worthy of real love.

[@skyeawaters]

I just sent the text I’m so nervous! Thank you Matthew you have helped me so much to find my self worth

[@lennyladd3253]

That is my guy I'm in love with and Matthew he is saying everything I'm going through

[@jennifergriffin5720]

I felt that you said this with such heartfelt genuineness. I just tried this so we shall see. If not there are still plenty of opportunities and time to focus on me. Thank you for the advice

[@bambiiii4858]

What if you’re really good friends, he cared for you a lot and even telling you in the beginning to be careful on choosing a guy next time. But eventually we admitted to one another that we like each other BUT we dont want to rush things neither I. He told me it’s better for both of us not to rush things as both of us dont want to get hurt again. He had past relationships that lasted for years but didnt turned our good and I am a single mom so thats the interpretation of him saying that we dont need to rush things. Also he said that he thinks he is not ready yet for a relatipnship but that doest mean he dont like me. We are okay we are talking constantly every day from morning til night. However since this pandemic started there are days that we are not talking . There are days that it seem like he just want to have conversation. I dont want to ask him again about this cause i knew him he dont want to talk stuffs like this thru text or chat as it might be more stressful for the both of us... this pandemic is soooo stressful as well on my mental health! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Any advice about this?

[@chemicalunicorn3868]

Why didn't I hear this earlier.... literally just screwed everything over

[@gigischuster3078]

I let my boyfriend 4 yrs younger than me know exactly what I wanted and was looking for when dating and before I let him move in he acted and talked like we were on the same page. I came to find he was just telling me what I wanted to hear and manipulating me like he did his ex's he claims were crazy. I was hesitant but let him live under my roof, and for a half of a year he acted like a boyfriend at beginning then turned into a manchild squatter after he got what he wanted. He said I'm not wifey material If I'd meet his expectations, and excuses and blame game of why after all I have done, and put up with and helped him when he decided to go quit his job to get a supposed "Better Job". He says it's fine if I don't want to wait 3+ yrs and I'll be 40 next year which was not aggrement. If he doesn't get a mom to clean up after his messes and someone who doesn't work full time, when I say I can't keep being treated like this, I can't pay for anymore relationship therapy for us if he is clearly not invested and blames anyone but himself for his destroying this now I see one side relationship, he did same B's to his ex made her wait for 5 yrs stonewalled her and made excuses and she like me did some changing for him.... But never good enough in his view, he is a narracisitic manipulative control freak and when called out for delusional entitlement expectations and told step up or leave he blames the woman and never owns up. He is "If you tell me to leave I'll leave and never come back" trying to make me fell afraid to loose him bs! I'm not fooled he preys on women who aren't perfect or like me on disability and working and uses my disability as an excuse to tear me down say I'm unworthy of him commiting to a serious relationship. There is no intimacy, no love , no affection no dates no bonding all he is, is cold and detached unless he wants something and expects women to clean the bathroom, and house, cook for him and pick up after him I did not agree to that when we meet nor when he moved in. Now again I no longer want him around and because of how he treats me and this is in my own home I no longer feel what I did when we 1st meet, I don't trust him, he makes promises and then excuses for not following through on anything. I said step up make me know you want to be with me and not like this bs roommate crap and I will not be his mom, he can go geta maid to clean up his manchild behavior or leave get out of my life because 'I deserve better then this he is wasting time and has not put forth anything to show he wants to marry me and be with me and done with his blah blah blah.... fake-promises, I don't want to hear from him I'm giving up not trying to meet his unreasonable demands and delusional expectations I didn't agree to and he can leave because he is not marriage material Come 2022 I'm not afraid to loose him and I will not be told knowing I'm gonna be 40 next year and wanted a family of my own, that he plans to hold that out on me and at the age there are issues with healthy pregnancy and what not the longer a woman waits .... It's all delibrate on his part. Everyone said I should be married at my age between 2-3 years and not wait any longer if I want a family and I would make a good wife and mom . Yet my boyfriend says I won't and makes excuses stonewalls to the point I have told him after finally snapping from all this bs to go. He says if you tell me to leave the relationship starts over, saying this pisses me off I'm not starting over the one sided relationship either step up or get outta my house and out of my life.

[@privatename4786]

Why would you want to marry this guy? Get rid of him!

[@kainovember]

I'm gay, but we've been dating for 7 and a half months. He said this at the end of the first month, and it's been fine overall. I enjoy his company, but I'm getting tired of him not acknowledging that its a relationship at this point, he said he wasnt looking for anything long term, but this IS long term. I gotta talk to him.

[@saynomore1138]

What if he is gone with someone new and he says that hes not ready to just go and fuck around and be with someone else, then youre just an option and circle closes 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@jamieazalea685]

If he's "not ready", leave him in the oven and go find someone who is! Ain't got no time for half baked bread.

[@RR-ik3kg]

A J LOL nicely put.

[@MissNemrac99]

This is awesome

[@TaylorSwiftGleek]

Best comment ever!

[@maraka8106]

A J 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sakerlyfri5182]

Lol

[@ousshamdouni3106]

It’s not that men are complicated or women are complicated, it’s only a matter of having balls to walk away when you are not treated the way you want to or when someone is not investing as much as you do. Have the courage to walk away. If they care, they will come look for you, if not... it just wasn’t meant to be (bad timing, no attraction, no chemistry, etc). Accept it as it is, no need for closure. End of the story.

[@c-za.c7085]

🔥

[@jokhaalhabsi5029]

True

[@niku3546]

As easy as that??

[@cherisew]

Yes, your comment is 🔥. I was in this situation and basically just told him what was said in this video. It took a lot of bravery, I really like him. And won’t lie, I want him to come back and really do this.. but I’m so happy I love myself enough to put myself first and not allow someone to give me less than I deserve.

[@daniamorim7547]

👏👏👏

[@Jordysonn]

I did this and he’s gone, I’m really sad but for once I feel proud of myself for having some self respect. Thanks Matthew

[@monicakhan8988]

Yuo because he was deceiving you all this time he takes your energy so he can feel better when he goes home to his lady it's all a big game for them because they don't have emotions like a woman does sad but true so run run and keep running until he walks the talk!

[@annamuldowney7927]

I did the same his loss :)

[@alexandragranados8916]

Same , it’s been three weeks now and I have not received any call or text and part of me still have hope but other part is telling move on love yourself more

[@rapeeporn1968]

You did the right thing! You're so beautiful inside out. Lol..

[@goddessshella664]

my dear dr usifoh will help you better okay

[@tracyrado]

You changed my life. I did this, and walked away. The very next month I met the most amazing man, no doubts, no questions, he treats me like his queen. Thank you for giving me the strength and the power to believe in myself🙏🏻 x

[@thedancelearner7721]

I hope I find someone like that

[@sae4senator]

@@thedancelearner7721 You will , and when you do please believe you deserve them and more. You truly do deserve good things.

[@youngfadula]

Same, it happened to me too. I was still caught up with the previous guy but I slowly but surely caught feelings for the new guy and he treats me like a princess and I try my best to treat him well too

[@KEL-uj1nh]

I hope I find this. I told him this. He said I was flag for wanting to know what we are.

[@80sprincess52]

I love this ❤️

[@Briannafrancis-e9g]

I still think that when they say "I am not ready for a relationship" means "I don't want a relationship with YOU"...so move on guys!

[@ariadnewolf8667]

I mean, I've said the "I don't want a relationship" thing. And that's exactly what it means.

[@zytha2890]

Pretty sure it can go both ways depending on how its said Pay attention to body language and context of the situation

[@nhesgumaru9950]

What if a guy tell you,he feel strong attraction and he care for you..but not ready for relationship

[@avery.s7681]

im a girl, and i say the same thing. being in a relationship means i have to be the best version of myself and that persons 1# support system. So, yeah, im not ready to do those things

[@reneyeo2021]

Nhes Gumaru relatable. it happened to me jn

[@janedoe7948]

“Never let a man tell you twice he doesn’t want you.” -Steve Harvey

[@sherikwasnik7064]

I just wrote this to a guy who is playing the whole “I do not want a relationship right now. I am too busy with work”, yet wants to just hangout and “go for sushi”. I don’t want sushi. I want him. If he doesn’t want me too, he can eat his sushi alone.

[@Lifewithsyrax]

Sheri Kwasnik just curious did it work what happened?

[@Ferien7]

Sheri Kwasnik translation: I don't want sushi. I want his money.

[@daleitabrady5463]

Facts

[@sziami09]

Exactly!

[@Miabia1000]

Are you dumb? You sound like an incel

[@catherinefleming-robertson3538]

my ex was not ready for a relationship after 8.5yrs of a relationship.

[@julplwgolden2620]

Catherine Fleming-Robertson you should have told him too late 8 years is a relationship .

[@paris8780]

What an unfortunate and epic waste of your time. So sorry to hear that.

[@Neji961]

lol same Together for 4 years, living together, pets, talking about buying a house etc, and suddenly he 'wasn't ready for a relationship' at all He got in too deep and got cold feet I think

[@AukseJanulyte]

Girl I feel you. 😂😂😂🙃

[@sunidhir6265]

This just made me laugh, I'm sorry but damnn

[@nicolegreen1599]

I said, “Love me or leave me alone. Either we’re doing this or we’re not. If you need to do you, do it, but I’m not guaranteeing that I’ll be around when you’re done doing you.” He came back and we’ve been married 20 years. I didn’t have time for bullshit and he figured it out.

[@janderson9794]

Love hearing that! 💕

[@Naok19]

How much time he spend doing him before he came back?

[@nicolegreen1599]

@@Naok19 2 weeks. He realized that I’m like a comet. Girls like me don’t come around often, so when you see one grab ahold.

[@Naok19]

@@nicolegreen1599 happy for you 🙏🏾

[@nicolegreen1599]

@@Naok19 You have to be prepared to lose the person. Don't use ultimatums and play games if you're not willing to follow through. A lot of women do this, the man calls their bluff, and then they're sitting there crying and thinking, "I didn't think he'd leave." I truly believed, when I let him go, that I would find someone else. I know my worth. He had to know it, too....and here we are.

[@rockereury18]

Guys will never be ready to take action unless you MEAN everything to him. If he is not yet ready, let him go. Don't stick around because you will have a feeling of "being used" in the end. EMOTIONAL DRAMA and anxieties will build up, your confidence and self worth will be tampered. DROP HIM, WALK OUT, HEAD HIGH and DONT LOOK BACK.

[@SR77736]

@@youtubetv775 that's the same thing the OP meant.

[@cheyennecheyenne8173]

RHU DAGAMI (OFFICIAL) that’s so hard...help😪

[@ariadnewolf8667]

yep. staying isn't going to help anything

[@susannarose3574]

these kinda guys just want a girl falling into their lap being their everything there that second without even really doing anything that would make that possible. yea of course I had someone I partially didnt even like but still cared about, falling in love with him the 3rd time I saw him. Like so freakin crazy that he already was my everything that day. He was a bad person and tried to make me weak, and slowly revealed his abuse methods on me which got more and more bad.. took me 6 years to cut him off forever. then another time.. my first big love. attraction was crazy but it took some hanging out, starting a relationship to develop like crazy. but he played with me these 3 months although there was big feelings also on his side. we were both young. he was a player. he broke up with me in front of my school with all these people to earn himself the reputation as a player. 1 year later he missed me so much and had lots of time thinking. We fell really hard in love both starting when we first met eachother again.. and he loved me so much for 3 years but I broke up with him cause I lost feelings cause he cheated on me. he wasnt all bad. he was a freakin great guy besides that and so senstive and loving. we were inseperable. but the thing is if you as a guy never take action and go in that direction. nothings ever gonna happen and you stay always stagnant and will never know how to have and build a relationship and how amazing things can become. if you cant take action unless bla bla bla then something is very wrong with you.

[@EadsB7002]

very true...you will indeed feel used and will question your worth. the sooner the better...don't wait around on things to change, because the longer you wait, the harder it is to extricate yourself from the situation.

[@dianawwe]

I did this a few years ago with my actual boyfriend, at that time we where friends, and he came back as a much more improved version of himself, and asking me to be his girlfriend, we have now almost 4 years of relationship and about to get marry. Thank you so much!

[@clairelivefreeordie2551]

Congrats Diana!

[@cyndigooch1162]

dianawwe A huge congratulations from me too! I'm in my 60s and will probably stay single from now in, due to a lot of traumatic experiences throughout my life, but like to know about good outcomes for others. 💏

[@pranalighodke824]

More power to you gurl.. 🤗 have a great life

[@marikamarakkas]

❤️❤️❤️🙏

[@afnanshukri5693]

Did u tell him also no contact and call only if u r reafy

[@abbiehughes8899]

"It seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while. I want your happiness more than anything else in the world, I just want you to be happy. So i feel you need to be on your own in order to figure out what you want. I hope that I'm here or that I'm still here when you're ready. Until then I know that I need someone who is completely in cause I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't 100% about wanting to be with me"

[@akosisandoval]

thank you very much for the transcript hahaha

[@valerielovesme6991]

Abbie lol thank you lol

[@charmm2773]

Abbie i wish i saw this before i started typing everything on my phone when sending my message to my bf, and i had to repeatedly pause the video. lol BTW? what if his response to this message will be, I will continue to think about our relationship?

[@sirishagampa8294]

haha

[@sirishagampa8294]

hahaha Tq dear

[@Jem4u90]

Said something similar to the last person I was seeing. Respecting their space and ourselves enough to move on is hard though. People have to want to be with each other in every sense of the word. Maybe he’ll come back maybe he won’t we gotta be happy with or without the person. It’s not our job to to show someone we’re great enough to be in a relationship it’s their job to see that. Good luck to anyone who is in this situation and remember we all deserve someone who will put the same effort we do.

[@cherrydiamond]

⁸

[@selinkalkan3032]

Thank you, we'll written💯 for you too✨

[@pinkypie445]

Your so bang on.

[@marinaabellanasszabo2113]

"It seems like you don't know what you want and you need to be on your own for a while" - One week later he is in a relatioship with another woman. 😆

[@anandanabila8439]

Marina Abellanas Szabo better for u

[@crystalhe8170]

that sucks……but fking True！！ So sad … I wish sometimes our women thought it wrong…

[@thecatchupwithmulungi]

Or has been with her long before 😂😂

[@paigegrissom9572]

Fuck 😂

[@donnachristie3119]

100%

[@01Tripilina]

I did exactly that. What I learned is that if they are ready, they are ready. No grey areas.

[@elXXXXrockymaru]

Nancy Cruz thank you. This guy is idiot. It doesnt matter if youre a wife material or a dumb beaver. When a guy is ready. Hell be ready. Commitment is not about feelings commitment is a choice. 99% of girls here are egoistic naive. HOW CANT HE LIKE ME. IM SPECIAL

[@anna3434]

LMAO

[@alemartinez4917]

True!

[@lala4461]

The sad part is doesn't matter if guy is 28, 38...48 ALL THE SAME. Dueces, indeed.

[@walk.]

Hello World! If you are reading this, have an awesome day :)

[@khawlamahfoudhi1961]

+SUCCESS MOTIVATION: Health Wealth Love Happiness thnx ! hope it for you too !!

[@sodone8997]

that feels good☺ Thank you

[@jbean992]

+SUCCESS MOTIVATION: Health Wealth Love Happiness thank you for your beautiful message, men like you are helping to regain my faith in human kind!! just The boost I needed right now :) I also wish you an amazing day

[@AnkyPank]

+SUCCESS MOTIVATION: Health Wealth Love Happiness You too!

[@kirstysmith4070]

I needed this today. Thank you. Much love and I hope you, and anybody reading this, is have a wonderful day xx

[@SallieB196]

I said something very similar to this once....he came back but by that time I met the love of my life and I told him his ship set sail he should’ve known what he had with me the first time.

[@satarupaganguly8553]

Gone is the time when you keep begging for love and men not wanting you. if he doesnt treasure your presence make him regret your absence. simply walk away. It might seem hard but someday you will get someone who will give the world to you and that day you will forget all those times your heart has been ever broken

[@kinghealey4055]

If a man dont like a woman or isnt ready just accept it and move on not sobbing bcs u didnt get him

[@chonalyn298]

This is what happen to me..... After he dumped me..... I keep calling n mesging him n keep asking try one more time..... I cried n begged n plead. For almost a month..... Then everytime i mesge n call him he throw words on me n say he dnt love me n he dnt want to be in relationship for now...... So i try the NC rule yes most of the time i stil think abt him.... N one nyt i git drunk n i called him all i want is to hear his voice but he fuck me upside down by his words...... N he said hes happy n his enjoying his life with out me..... Hard to accept but really need to move on..... Will nver ever begged again..... 😊😊😊

[@christopherrivera1673]

And he who gives is stronger, amen.

[@abbar1122]

Wow that was beautiful

[@danielleallen8125]

❤️❤️❤️

[@HugDealer]

"I am not ready for a relationship" = "I don't like you enough". So let's quit the sugar coating. Just smile big and say good luck and take your business elsewhere. No need to say his/her happiness is what you want more than anything else in the world. That is desperate, unnecessary ass-kissing. Deep down you know if he/she does not want a relationship with you, it will be all over your interactions. So just move on without need to explain or keep a door open for the loser.

[@thelisarahman]

Rossana Motta I don’t think that’s always true. It depends on the guy and his situation. The guy I like *just* came out of an almost 3 year relationship after his life was completely turned upside down and is trying to start his own career. When he said he didn’t want a relationship, it hurt, sure. But I understand that it’s not about me. It’s about him. This particular scenario wouldn’t work in my situation. I did tell him that his happiness mattered to me and he told me he didn’t want me to worry about his happiness. Not because he doesn’t like me enough. He doesn’t know me well enough to be able to make that judgment call. But as far as where he is in his own life, adding a relationship on top of it makes it more chaotic for him and that has nothing to do with how he feels about me. It’s chaotic enough as it is if you knew everything on his plate. It’s just bad timing and perhaps when the timing is right we might have a chance or he will find someone who will treat him better than his ex. But as for now I know he still loves her but needs someone who will treat him better. But also maybe just getting his ducks in a row is all he needs right now before he can find someone to share his life and his heart with. Thank you for listening this was oddly therapeutic and rather eye opening. Sucks for me, but maybe in time it will work out. Lol.

[@thelisarahman]

EL MARIACHIE hmmm. Could have not found a better way to word this response rather than just come across as an ass? Sure the OP was an ass in their own right but the bigger person knows better than to be an ass back. Guess that’s not you.

[@elXXXXrockymaru]

hahahah women love bad boys. we are blunt. keep it that way. i dont even like proving myself to be a bigger person. meh

[@FirstNameLastName-oe9hi]

Lisa Rahman I guess we got ourself a “bad boy”, “player”. In other words NOT A REAL MAN just a BOY!!

[@elXXXXrockymaru]

Monika Patel but you like though. 😉😉

[@Lionessa8]

Sometimes people don’t feel like their life is in a place where they can be a healthy partner to a someone else. I find it admirable for them to be honest and upfront, and shows a good character, which is even more reason to give them respect and kindness and maintain a friendship if nothing else, as it’s rare to find honest people who are courageous enough to be alone, even though they may like you, so as not to hurt anyone else, until they are ready to give their best. Matthews advice is solid. To add.... when we are attracting (or attracted to) unavailable men or women, there’s often a high probability that we ourselves are also not reeeallly ready for a relationship on some level. We need to reflect on why we are attracted to someone we can’t have, and work through that. Even if you get the “unavailable” person, there will be frustration as they will likely feel emotionally disconnected or checked out a lot of the time, one foot in - one foot out vibes. That will lead to frustration and fights, insecurity, and mistrust, and ultimately a waste of time. There’s self inner work to do if we attract unavailable people, we’re on the same frequency as them whether we can see it or not, hence we feel that connection with them, so address the “why are you attracted to them” first. Grow above / heal that, and then you’ll start attracting available men.

[@positive_man_jb]

💥

[@saroliaada6883]

Makes so much sense! Ty.

[@laurierietze2605]

I cannot agree with this comment more. Very well said. Painful yes, admirable absolutely. Wish them well, leave them with love and give them space and time to heal. If the connection was true, they may come back to you. In the meantime, keep moving forward with what makes you happy. ❤️

[@Miamibubi50]

Such true amazing words of advice and wisdom . I finally realized this.

[@ugobestelectrical4252]

*#*I PRAY THE UNIVERSE GRANT YOUR HEARD DESIRES WITH MORE LOVE AND COMMITMENT FROM YOUR EX THROUGH THE GREAT MAN OF THE UNIVERSE DR WILSON, WHO HELPED ME RESTORED MY BROKEN HOME. HE CAN MAKE YOUR EX BEG FOR A SECOND CHANCE*#*

[@allie9854]

i used this advise, and he came back two weeks later. Now we are so happy together. Thank you

[@Misscookies288]

Allie Lotus how

[@Lovegaloree]

I used it also and he responded to why he isn’t ready right now but I haven’t responded idk what to say 😩

[@patiencemokalapa5940]

@@Lovegaloree me too and he said he can stay away if i was not fine with it, i just didnt know what to say😭

[@Lovegaloree]

Pretty Mokalapa yeah I responded and said I respect it , idk where things are going .. but I’m not going to chase him I’ll tell you that lol if he comes back around great if not then it wasn’t meant to be. But I do believe he will be reaching out soon I can feel it

[@CydneeChristine]

Can I ask you what you did after you texted him this? I am in a kind of similar situation right now and struggling

[@IRHasDiabetes911]

"I'm not ready for a relationship" what that means is "I don't want to date YOU."

[@deprofundis3293]

I'm a woman, and I can attest to there being MANY legit other reasons why you're not ready for a relationship at a given time. Of course, it could be because the person doesn't want to date you OR is just figuring it out & trying to meet people before jumping in head-first. But in some cases, you literally are not emotionally capable of having a serious relationship again yet. I met the perfect guy...a couple months after a massive, massive, heart-wrenching breakup. I still gave it a shot because the new guy was so amazing, but I was emotionally closed off (VERY unlike me) and simply couldn't invest myself in a serious relationship yet. The difference is that I wasn't looking to date other guys or sleep around...I have absolutely no problem with being exclusive. Far from it. I just couldn't commit to a deep and meaningful and serious relationship yet.

[@alicelovescats888]

You actually liked the guy though, and that's why you gave the relationship a shot. That's what we do if we are really into someone, even if we are not ready yet. It often falls apart when we are just not ready for a new relationship, but that doesn't stop us giving it a go. When we are really not interested in having a relationship with that person, we say that we are not ready because it's kinder than 'i like you but not that much.'

[@cicikizable]

IRHasDiabetes911 unfortunately true

[@deborahbrown5860]

so true plz believe this

[@Getlost5]

Anonymous You are so right "YOU ARE NOT A MAN" and men are not looking for a "dream girl". What Mathew want is to effeminate men.

[@three7446]

“It seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while. I want your happiness more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy, so I feel like you need to go and be alone in order to figure out what you want. And I hope that I’m still here when you’re ready. But until then, I know that I need someone who is completely in because I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t 100% about wanting to be with me. “

[@captainkrishna7144]

Best lines ever !!

[@preciousmunsaka1611]

Can I send this message to a man who's not yet my boyfriend but busy playing with my feelings?? It's really pains me seeing him playing with my feelings without saying anything😭

[@Pinkcandy777]

@@preciousmunsaka1611 if he's deliberately on purpose playing with u don't bother x

[@cemt1611]

Parece que necesitas tiempo para descubrir qué quieres y estar solo para hacerlo. Yo quiero tu felicidad más que nada en el mundo. Y quiero que seas feliz, así que siento que necesitas estar solo para poder saber qué quieres. Yo espero estar aquí cuándo lo descubras. Pero hasta entonces, se que quiero alguien que esté completamente seguro y comprometido en querer estar conmigo en una relación, construir a mi lado y no se contenga de eso porque me lo merezco.

[@serenity8295]

sent to an ex👍

[@NikkiReed961]

Damn... That was exactly what I told my boyfriend right before we stared our relationship! It took him 5-6 hours and he called me saying that he didn't want to give up on his independence, but he really wants to be with me and he is ready to go all-in. Since that moment we have been happier than ever!

[@Beautytrends77]

That’s wonderful, hope you two are still going strong

[@victorialsaint9046]

Wow this is wonderful. We mostly whom sending this is like take huge risk.. But we never know what coming up after if we still keep going like we already know right?

[@NikkiReed961]

@@Beautytrends77 We are! Over 2 years together and currently planning on moving in :)

[@ugobestelectrical4252]

*#*I PRAY THE UNIVERSE GRANT YOUR HEARD DESIRES WITH MORE LOVE AND COMMITMENT FROM YOUR EX THROUGH THE GREAT MAN OF THE UNIVERSE DR WILSON, WHO HELPED ME RESTORED MY BROKEN HOME. HE CAN MAKE YOUR EX BEG FOR A SECOND CHANCE*#*

[@ugobestelectrical4252]

*#*Wh'|sapp him for help*#*?¿¿¿??????????????????????????

[@DonnyDaison]

From a guys perspective: 9 times out of 10 a guy will say he "isn't ready for a relationship", isn't because he doesn't want a relationship, its because he doesn't want one with you. He want's your body, sex, and even though he will do sweet things for you, it will still lead to no commitment. You might feel amazing in his arms, but when you are not around him that uneasy feeling will remain. Even if you play it cool and become scarce to keep him attracted and "manipulate" him into being in a relationship with you, you will simply end up in an unhealthy push/pull kind of relationship, which is really no fun. How do I know this? Ive been the guy in a situation just like this. I have also met girls who were like this to me. Now I don't even mess with people Im not that into, or that arn't that into me.

[@candyxoxo19]

HELP, What to do to attract men that you are interested in?

[@DonnyDaison]

Well, becoming more attractive in general is all about focusing on yourself. For example doing things you are passionate about, taking good care of your body and exercising, eating healthy food, and dressing nicely. Basically investing in yourself. But, attracting specific men that you are interested in is something else entirely different, because either they are already attracted to you or not, and someone usually knows right away. You can't make someone attracted to you, either they are or aren't. So in a way there isn't much you can do rather than make yourself more attractive in general, and find out if the person you are into is attracted to you or not by putting yourself out there, taking a shot, and asking them out, or flirting with them and they might even ask you out first. Don't be afraid to risk getting rejected, you are simply finding out whether you are wasting your time and energy on someone.

[@candyxoxo19]

Greedy Rick Thank you!!! I'm afraid of rejection. How do you handle rejection? I will feel ugly and hopeless if too many people reject me.

[@DonnyDaison]

Handling rejection is all about putting the opinion you have of yourself above the opinions of others. Yes, people do affect us whether we like it or not, but what is more important is what you think about yourself. If someone doesn't see your beauty, it might hurt, but ultimately it doesn't matter, forget about them, it is their loss, you've got to know that you are still beautiful (not because someone else says so, but because you say so!) and that you will carry on with your life and move on until you find someone who does see your beauty! And trust me you will find someone who does, but you have to keep moving forward instead of getting stuck on someone who just isn't into you. But you will know if someone really likes you, you just know. Love is always a risk, even with people who are super into you. But you have to be open to attract the right person. Think of never going travelling to another country just because you are afraid the plane might crash. Then you will never see the world!!!

[@sacmakiz]

Greedy Rick Your comments are gold 👍👍👍

[@VivaLaKatieJ]

ok where was this video 4 months ago! such good advice I could of used.....instead I lost him.

[@psychedelicpain420]

go get him back! if u can

[@VivaLaKatieJ]

+Atheist Metalhead I wouldn't even know where to start with that.

[@psychedelicpain420]

VivaLaKatieJ Stalk him om FB, see if he is in a relationship, if not, contact him. If u two live in the same town, try to figure out what he does, what his routine is, what gym he goes to and try to do it too, so u too can come across each other "by coinsidence". I know it is very easy for me to say all this, because im not in ur situation, but it is a begin. :)

[@vidavegana]

+Matthew Hussey Thank you for this video and this comment Matthew!! I never know how to express how much I value myself to other men. And yes, words matter. Much love!

[@FreelancingwithFaith]

+Matthew Hussey Hi, Matt! It's nice to see your name in the comments section. ^_^ Thanks for always giving the right advise and for always reminding us, women, to value ourselves. I look forward to watching more of your videos. Keep up the good work. Take care. =D

[@esterviana7823]

When a guy says he’s not ready for a relationship that means he’s not ready for a relationship... don’t say anything , move on

[@shaaz2837]

I realized these videos will either help you get your ex back or help you move on

[@kparm23]

Where can I get a Matthew? Lol

[@eehyetti]

+Matthew Hussey I wish there were clones of you we could have :)

[@83loveanimals]

if He doesn't care he can't be scared of losing you

[@mariamistretta3860]

if a guy doesn't care only want to hookup tell the guy off move on.

[@melodiemulher9469]

Aditya Kushwaha darling if the feelings are mutual, it does not matter if you are moving, she may be able to join you later! Good luck! Mélodie www.mulherhumor.com.br

[@melodiemulher9469]

Valentina Moro Ciao! But sometimes they do care, but they get scared and confused and the fact that they realise they could loose you, make them come to their senses! www.mulherhumor.com.br

[@paulawilson9068]

That's true xxx

[@estefanialopez9379]

It's just about being honest with each other.

[@johannafoldesi390]

What I love about this video that if you're actually telling/sending these words to a guy will keep your dignity and you can walk away with your head up without having any regrets or resentment. These words put him in the emotional state you'd be where he wants you to be. Also it creates either an opening for him to actually turn things around or gives you a clean ending without question marks and it's easier to get back into the game if he's not coming back.

[@MADZOUA]

Yes this is literally a cure

[@meganroth3870]

I just took this advice. He hasn't even responded yet but I feel like I set myself free. By letting him go, I let go of so much I was struggling to hold onto. Thank you, Matthew

[@meganroth3870]

Lorena: well, I'll give you a little context. I was with a guy for three years, we broke up. We, just before I found this video, had been talking about getting back together. Then he didn't text me for three days, and on he fourth day I watched this video and a few other ones of Matthew's and I realized that by waiting for this guy to finally step up and be who I wished he could be and finally feel valued by him, I was giving up my own self worth. So I texted him something along the lines of what Matthew says in this video, and I just feel set free. The guy never texted me back, and its been over a week now, but I'm just really excited to finally feel like I can move forward. Sorry for the long reply, but I hope that helps, I know how hard it can be. Just trust yourself.

[@daniellam5549]

did you guys ever get back together?

[@mariamistretta3860]

men who enjoying hurting women think that the gain something but actually women get the freedom and a change to find someone better. disney Christmas carol good example the guy seem marryed to money always working no time to see the truth of his own mistakes and guy lost the girl, even though he had a lot of money he wasn't happy. he spend his days working was very cheap. till the night the ghostly encounter of his friend marley warn him, and said told him of the 3 ghosts of past show him the past how he use to be, and he couldn't bear the meoriey of the mistakes he done the ghost is like when you did that to yourself do not blame it on the ghost of the past. the ghost of present try to show him stuff of the co worker life style, that was poor but happy but still need help for his family, the ghost of the future show the old guy what could be if old guy didn't change his ways. the point is men make mistake think of money forget what they looking for in relationship, sometimes by the time they realize it, at times somethings can be fix but guy in the story it was to late to fix how to fix how he treated that woman. the old man was mostly angry at himself. life is more then money, the best things in life are free.money doesn't make people happen. you can't buy love. life is like water you feel in your hand once that gone u can't get it back on your own unless god restores life.

[@Simply.Homicide]

so. Yeah I said the same. Never responded. But im free. Feels great. Im a bit hurt but im moving right along.

[@mblabezza]

Update?

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

I've been in this kind of situation. We've been casually dating on and off for years. And I knew that I just don't like him, I already loved him. I've been waiting for him but suddenly he said those words and I responded the same lines you said Matthew. Now, I am in a happy relationship but not with him. :')

[@anniebe4992]

ATrueLove,com might it have scared him away? or was he just waiting for an occasion to end your dating?

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

I don't know. Maybe he's too messed up and haven't figured out yet what he really wants or whatever.

[@ezzatisaid]

Tough, wasn’t it?. To call it quits on someone you already had feelings for and memories with and opening up to someone new?? :(

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

Indeed but life must go on. We can't let ourselves be stuck in that place right? :)

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

Then you should turn your wish into reality. I mean, it's really hard but it would harder if you think like that. Put in your mind first that you really wanted to do that. No buts and hesitation. After that, do the other steps. :)

[@SallieB196]

I said this once to an ex. He went away for a while and a few months later he came crawling back but by that time I had moved on and told him that he shouldn’t take a good person for granted.

[@Moood007]

I gave him that line and he said this: "You are right and you deserve so much someone who's 120% sure" it felt like a punch in the face.

[@innadani7466]

I got same answer

[@anetak.9494]

So you dodged a bullet. The whole purpose of saying this is not to convince him but to find out whether he comes back or whether you are wasting your time

[@yuejoo]

Same but after a while he came back and we back at it again 🙃

[@anetak.9494]

@@yuejoo them you've got only yourself to blame.. The whole purpose is to follow through with your words and not just say it and be on him as soon as he gives you a little glimpse of hope. He starts flaking again? Then bye.. And then it's down to you to not give him another chances over and over again...

[@dickbanger8924]

Well it's clear all you girls can't provide anything toward your relationships, we only move in with women who can make our lives as stable as we can make there's modern men will no longer marry down we marry equal or above your looks don't cut it no more.

[@1234-w2w]

Just got out of a long term relationship where I felt like my expectations of love were never met. Found out the guy had been talking to another female so I said, let's work through this together, he agreed. 3 weeks later he came to me saying he wasn't ready for any relationship, even after having almost a year together. I said exactly what this video instructed, and 2 weeks later he came back and said he wants to be friends but not in a relationship. I was completely blindsided. I had put my own feelings on the line because I was in love and he practically spat in my face. I told him I never wanted to talk again. Sometimes if you love something you must let it go for both the other person's wellbeing and most importantly your own. This is a good video, but ladies, please don't let it give you false hope, and look after yourselves first.

[@Debbielightworker]

Most times in this kind of situation the man is going to leave. That's the hard truth. It's about self respect and holding out for what you really want. Us women really need to stop things up in the current dating world.

[@1234-w2w]

@@Debbielightworker 100%, totally forgot about this comment I left over 2 years ago! Now me and the guy are fine, we occassionally check in with each other as I was close with his family and him with mine. Really, really glad I left the relationship out of my own self respect! We live in different states now and are happy for each other pursuing what we want in life. SO glad I left, vbut also glad that were friends from a distance now. xx

[@Debbielightworker]

Step things up

[@47shadows76]

This is Brutal...and effective. If you don't think this well crafted statement would work, then you are going to have to reconsider the type of males you are attracted to. A genuine man will have to give you a genuine response to this.

[@aisaterry2737]

If you do send this response, how long should it take to hear back? What if they do not respond?

[@cosmopolitanbay9508]

It's not about when or whether they come back. It's about letting them go the best way possible. This is how you ensure that if there is a chance of things working out, they will at a later stage.

[@cosmopolitanbay9508]

Well said! Respect!

[@joannagroveswaldner1020]

I actually did this when my (now) husband pulled this line after we'd be dating for 3 months...and I was being completely genuine and thinking I didn't want to be with someone that wasn't 100% sure. I was gobsmacked when he called me the next day saying he'd made a mistake and would I give him another chance. Now this makes total and complete sense. Thank you!

[@Yikkoofficial]

I think your husband just loved you back then too lol if a man doesn’t love you this trick doesn’t work.

[@bluedasher74]

"He needs time to figure out what he wants"? Terrible advice! Is a woman stupid enough to think that a man is gonna be wondering about her while he's away? Newsflash: he's gonna be out there sleeping with whoever he wants. He's not gonna be thinking about YOU. If he comes back to you, it'll likely be out of loneliness or because those other women kicked him to the curb. If he doesn't want you when you want him, then simply move on.

[@heathermuffins]

So you give him time to "figure out what he wants" meanwhile you go on dates with new people. Nowhere in there did he say "now stop living life and stare at your phone until he calls again."

[@moraimaruiz5018]

Exactly

[@michid484]

right?

[@moraimaruiz5018]

+wanderer :) thanks

[@candaces7230]

He prefaced it w "If the guy is good" Does anyone pay attention????

[@marisacatherine6057]

took me 3 months to actually say it to him, finally stood up for myself. it’s sad but i’m proud of myself for actually doing it.

[@babycakes.x]

Did he come back?

[@dianaelhaj3409]

What did you say?

[@xXRealXx]

By the way you said it, I think he didn't come back. Good on you for moving on

[@jsdevtom]

As a man, my mind is absolutely blown that you see it as "standing up for yourself". It seems ruthless. You're two humans with different desires. He doesn't owe you anything.

[@dailysuccess.podcast]

I told the guy I’m seeing this yesterday and it worked! Thank you sooo much, best dating coach ever. When you show a guy you can be a whole person without them, they see you as more valuable and less dependant. They’ll want you even more if they are afraid of losing you, if not, well you’re not wasting your time and you deserve someone better. I told him this and now we are talking about our feelings and what we need from the other person. He also says he’s ready to have a serious relationship and see where this goes. Sometimes you have to show a guy what he wants.

[@arckocsog253]

I wouldn't even bother with this explanation. On your bike, man!

[@iSugarHeart]

+Arc Kocsog Then you never cared about him as human being anyway. And if you havent chances are you dont deserve him.

[@pricklypear1111]

+Nastia Girl bye

[@jburckhardt]

+Arc Kocsog lmao!!!

[@jburckhardt]

+Nastia :O ......almost make me cry . Give me a brake...men don't have feelings lol just kidding

[@mundaneamazing]

Yesss! Thank you. I saw this video and hoped for more empowering advice, but it seems that it's advice to keep women involved in games. I used to think Matthew was genuinely trying to help, but now I realize he's a businessman, looking to keep his customers. People weren't buying into the honest advice so now it seems to all be geared toward insecure women, trying to get their exes back. I know it's hard to get over an ex and hard to be lonely, but if you have to play games or use a script (?!?) to keep him, he's not the right guy for you. This isn't from a place of judgement. We've all chased after the wrong guy because, usually, they are the most fun to chase after. But often those are the guys that will toy with you as long as they can and leave you hurting the worst... Just my advice and observations; Take it or leave it... like I'm gonna leave these videos alone from now on.

[@2010kalex]

*MAYBE* he’s just genuinely not ready for a relationship! Some times we’re not ready for what we want because we need to grow and learn in order to be the best partner we can to our S.O. Yes there are people who lead you and just use that as an excuse but not every guy is just playing games or just using you I feel like people always assume the worst when it comes to men I respect a man who’s honest with me then who just jumps into something they’re not wholeheartedly into Why do men get such a bad rep?! There are douchebags but there are good men too Some people are just so broken hearted and bitter

[@destinyguzman3058]

Kai Alexandria I totally agree! I’m in a situation where a guy says he loves me and cares for me and even would take a bullet for me. But he just needs to grow and become a better man. He said I can date other ppl. And we agreed we are dating but seeing other ppl or doing what we wanna do. In the end he tells me we will be together we just need to grow separately before we grow together. And I thought in the beginning with the agreement that he was just trying to go out there and have sex or see other ppl. But he told me if he meets other ppl or anything it’s not going to matter in the end I’m what matters. I really think he’s just not ready for a relationship I don’t think it’s a game for him at all. He still sees me everyday talks to me everyday and makes me a priority. Iv set my boundaries and he knows what will make me completely walk away. And he respect them cause he doesn’t want to lose me. We both just need to grow.

[@annebos4634]

Why do men get such a bad reputation? Well, maybe they have deserved it somehow...??

[@KazuchiX]

Exactly. All these bitter 30+ women. Also sometimes we don't want to deal with the maintenance a woman requires. No matter how hot or caring she is.

[@valeriecontreras4427]

Destiny Guzman im a similar situation like this. He says he loves me, misses me, is still attracted to me, and still believes the connection is there but he genuinely wants to just be alone right now. He says he doesnt want to date anyone in general. He says we can still have a possibility in the future. I just dont know what to do :/

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

Destiny Guzman I know it’s been 10 months but do the other people you are dating know you are just seeing them as placeholders until Mr. Needs-to-grow comes around? Are the other women he’s dating seeing themselves as placeholders or are they also holding out for more while he gives them the “I need time to grow” spiel? Are these same women watching Matthew’s videos wondering why this man is stringing them along and looking for texting strategies of what to say to him?

[@cara6826]

I tried this now and he replied saying I'm right, he does need time alone and that he will miss me. 2 minutes later he asked if I want to go for a walk this weekend 😂🧐

[@kazumimizuki8207]

And??? What happen till now?? 😍😂

[@rxyne]

Kazumi mizuki I also want to know lol

[@karladiaz9076]

Lol they are all the same, mine did that too, I told him “no, I don’t want to make pancakes and hike this morning with you, neither I want to watch a movie this afternoon, I’m going to be clear since you seem to fail to understand what I told you yesterday, we don’t want the same things so I’m moving on, please respect my decision. Two days later he was at my door asking to keep dating me even if we don’t get physical, and to meet my parents that same day, We are close to our anniversary now. 🤔

[@pseudonymphmusic7721]

Why do I always attract men who are emotionally inept?

[@christopherrivera1673]

Because you’re looking for men and finding the fruits of poor parenting started by the disintegration of the family due to pseudo-intellectual low value men who wanted easier sluts to bang and ugly whores who wanted to act like guys because they can’t compete against pretty girls so hanging with guys doing things the pretty girls avoid gives them an opportunity to get fucked (say after exercising, playing sports, video games, coworkers at a police department, tech/stem company, etc. - like how effeminate fish mimic females so that they can covertly bang female fish when the alpha male is away). So weak men are not entirely responsible for their weakness, it’s more so the influence of pseudo intellectual men and women and the parents who fell for their anti-traditional propaganda. Also, damaged people tend to attract each other and there are plenty of dysfunctional men and women today (see the poor fools who don’t know, or deny and resent, what sex they are).

[@globalprong7341]

Lol hahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣

[@naimaaxmed1248]

Christopher Rivera 😂😂😂

[@borsincka]

Christopher Rivera wow, is this your own theory or did you read it somewhere? It’s very insightful

[@christopherrivera1673]

@Derogation -- "Also I love this pseudo science fool's attempt to blame "weak men"'s failings on EVERY BODY ELSE lol classic immature male behavior" Men don't have a monopoly on irresponsibility -- in fact, it is because men are responsible for so much that they are constantly blamed. Alex Kierkegaard: 809. The Blame Game. "Whose fault is it?" But if you want to maximize your freedom of action you have to place the engine of change inside you. The more of the blame - better put, the responsibility - that you are therefore able to assume, the more options you'll have for shaping your situation in the future. The highest point in this direction is occupied by God, who assumes full responsibility not only for himself, but for everyone else too; the lowest by the monotheist who entirely disclaims responsibility and imputes everything that has ever happened or ever will to God (and rightly so, given how weak the monotheist is in comparison). In between there's everyone else: the entire spectrum of lifeforms in the universe. 908. The mechanics of blame/rationality. When we point the blame towards someone or something for a state of things, it's always with a view towards future action that reshapes this state of things. The blame itself is never literal, never real, it's merely a useful fiction, a mere tool, because in a universe where everything is connected to and conditioned by everything else there's never anyone to blame for anything; rather, EVERYONE is to "blame" for EVERYTHING, everywhere and at all times. That's what chaos theory expresses with the example of a butterfly flapping its wings contributing to a cyclone forming on the other side of the planet. Therefore, to say it once again, blame/rationality is never real, it's ALWAYS FALSE. For example, the alt-retards say that feminism is to blame for the collapse of the family. But I say that weak men like the alt-retards are to blame for feminism. And further I say that civilization is to blame for weak men. And who is to "blame" for civilization? Strong/intelligent men that decided to create it in order to best shape their environment. And who is to "blame" for strong/intelligent men? Evolution all the way back to protozoa, hydrogen atoms and the Big Bang. Therefore, who, ultimately, is to blame for feminism? The universe, end of story. And I can apply this line of reasoning to every instance of blame or rationality that has ever been or ever will be uttered. You will always find "the universe" as the ultimate culprit in the existence of any given state of things, because that's where the rabbit hole always leads if you dig deep enough. Of course, only a philosopher can dig that deep, so no one else ever comes to this realization. But now that I've explained it to you dimwits in plain language, maybe a few of you will get it, and be able to discover it and explain it to others next time they tell you that the Jews or some other poor scapegoat is ULTIMATELY responsible for some state of things or other. NO ONE is "ultimately" responsible for ANYTHING. And though taking responsibility for something is as false as blaming it on someone else, that is the falsity that belongs to the strong just as surely as the neverending blame game, with no action involved to move things forward, is the type of falsity that belongs to the weak. Ultimately, the only thing that matters to the strong is their goal. If my goal is to reshape civilization in order to cleanse it of feminism and other modern neuroses, I need to find a pressure point to push; I need to decide where to use my force in order to effect change. That is why I need to "blame" something; in more neutral language, to find the "reason" for it. Once I have identified weak men as the reason for feminism, I need to find a way to strengthen these men up, and then they'll take care of the feminists and all the other neuroses. And the way to strengthen men, as a group, is to kill off most of them, because they are beyond hope and their wretched activity and inane bleating are weakening everyone around them. In the old days, war and disease would take care of this vital function by ridding us of the most wretched weaklings among us, but since society has eliminated those with the thoughtless universal application of science and technology, we need a substitute for them, and that's where the drone army comes in. But that will be discussed at length in due course. The main point to grasp here, for the purposes of the current discussion, is that I am not REALLY blaming weak men for feminism, because I just said that the thoughtless application of science and technology created so many weak men, and who is responsible for this "thoughtless application" if not the older statesmen and philosophers? So I am not singling out weak men ULTIMATELY, and MALICIOUSLY, as the alt-retards do when they go around looking for scapegoats like the liberals or the soyboys or the Jews or whoever they happen to hate on any given day. All I am doing is looking for the optimal point to apply pressure in order to achieve my goal, with no moral condemnation involved at all. And that's why I picked contemporary modern men as that point, instead of dead philosophers, since I can't apply pressure to the dead lol, but weak men are all around me, and if my drone army kills off all the weakest of them I'll be well on my way towards shaping future society to match my goals. I don't HATE weak modern men. I really have nothing against them anymore than I have against the ants whose colonies I had to flatten to build my house. Both ants and weak men are ultimately blameless for their existence, and for being constituted the way they are; but that doesn't change the fact that they are standing in the way of my plans, and thus they must be flattened-that is all. And that is a whole other ballgame from weaklings like the alt-retards who hate everyone and everything around them for a state of things that they really should be blaming on themselves and their own weakness if they actually wanted to change it-which they don't (otherwise they'd have already changed it-it's not that hard at all if you're not a wimpy whiny fagot, which they are). To recap, reasons don't exist for anything in the universe, and rationality is false. Reasons are just tools that we invent in order to help us shape our environment. The reasons you find for a state of things depend on the new shape you want to give to this state of things, and since different people have different goals, they will naturally invent different reasons. That's how the universe functions, i.e. in a far more complex manner than the simplistic objective one in which subhuman thinkers believe, who think that everything happens "for a reason", or even for a number of reasons. Everything happens for AN INFINITY OF REASONS out of which each lifeform picks out a couple that are useful to it to advance its goals, and champions them as the reasons. Then the lifeforms and their various reasons clash, and the game goes on. Therefore, whenever you see someone STOP with blame and moral condemnation, you can safely deduce weakness. But when you see someone BEGIN with "blame"/reasons, and then with clinical precision outline the steps that must be taken to reshape the situation to his will, without any hatred or moral posturing involved, you can safely deduce strength. The strength of a lifeform that knows what it wants and calmly and clinically plans out how to get there. This is how things get done, and whining is a mere symptom of the incapacity to get anything done. And that's why it always loses. Nietzsche: "What alone can our teaching be? - That no one gives a human being his qualities: not God, not society, not his parents or ancestors, not he himself... No one is accountable for existing at all, or for being constituted as he is, or for living in the circumstances and surroundings in which he lives. The fatality of his nature cannot be disentangled from the fatality of all that which has been and will be. He is not the result of a special design, a will, a purpose; he is not the subject of an attempt to attain to an 'ideal of man' or an 'ideal of happiness' or an 'ideal of morality' - it is absurd to want to hand over his nature to some purpose or other. We invented the concept 'purpose': in reality purpose is lacking... One is necessary, one is a piece of fate, one belongs to the whole, one is in the whole - there exists nothing which could judge, measure, compare, condemn our being, for that would be to judge, measure, compare, condemn the whole... But nothing exists apart from the whole!- That no one is any longer made accountable, that the kind of being manifested cannot be traced back to a causa prima, that the world is a unity neither as sensorium nor as 'spirit', this alone is the great liberation - thus alone is the innocence of becoming restored... The concept 'God' has hitherto been the greatest objection to existence... We deny God; in denying God, we deny accountability: only by doing that do we redeem the world. - "

[@Ivanachuljakcribb]

"I hope I'm still here when you are ready" ???? WTF.......why do we only expect this from women and not men .... I will not sit around waiting for any guy ... hell to the NO "I'm not ready for a relationship" - said the guy and here is what he means : I don't want to date you ... and even though you are way above everything he wants and needs he still thinks he will find a supermodel - the grass is always greener on the other side syndrom. Then these same guys end up being toxic bachelors until they turn 40ish and one day realize oh crap I'm all alone ... then they marry the first girl that crosses their path ... the end. I've seen this shit way too many times !

[@Nicki17321]

Truth!

[@Shay4YourMind81]

I totally agree with this! Why wait around on a guy who "isn't sure what he wants"? Clearly, want he wants is not YOU! If he really wanted to be with you, he would not leave you! I believe in many cases, "I'm not ready for a relationship" is just a cowardly way of saying, "I'm no longer interested in you." He will tell you that he's "not ready," but 6 months later, he's engaged to someone else! And you were waiting all that time for him (SMH)! If anyone flings that "I'm not ready" line at you, it's best to just walk away, cut contact, and move on. You deserve to be with someone who truly wants to be with you!

[@lilywasserman1852]

Omg! I couldn't agree with you more!! So true. best thing is move on! I been through that before where the guy said he wasn't ready....we stopped seeing each other...not even 3 months later find out he started dating another girl and even became a serious relationship for 2 years! and he wasn't ready? He simply wasn't ready for me but for someone else. and guess what? 3 years later she cheated on him and use him for money and he came back looking for me...which I said "Nope sorry. we can just be friends bit nothing else"...he'd heartbroken and alone. karma is a bitch. Ladies Do not fall for that line "not ready for a relationship "" that means "not or ready for a relationship with you I think there's someone better out there"

[@Nicki17321]

+Lee Gutierrez bingo!

[@Ksispeedy]

Ivana Chuljak-Cribb

[@ishaw500]

I did this. And two days later he said he loved me

[@thirteenwolfies]

Isha Webber wow! what do you think of it? Were you happy or do you have mixed feelings?

[@westcoastorbust2462]

How did he act initially

[@Elizabeth-yx7yr]

What did you do

[@abebayehumengesha2328]

Isha Webber Hahahah

[@sueblack5794]

Believe the man that he showed you his true self the first time not the one that came back out of guilt or regret. He may hide that for sometime but somewhere down the line that hot/cold man will return, you better hope it isn’t when you have invested years in him.

[@fionnamorrison3408]

Ive done this over n over an they all move on to other relationships. Im done being miss nice. Time to invest in a thousand cats hahahahaha

[@HAL-nt6vy]

The old-fashioned way still works: no sex until marriage. Worked on this male in 2000. Love at first sight. Proposal before first kiss. We're happily married.

[@ealvarezz10]

Feel you. I don't have cats and now I want some lol

[@farwanqv]

Lol

[@sunnyday157]

If someone is not interested for whatever reason, there is something lacking and therefore no matter what you say will make them stay with you

[@komusica]

I am planning to get one more cat 😄

[@FreeSpirit47]

Just living life, being happy is better than dealing with the dating game. Deciding to remain single & celibate is one of the best decisions I have ever made. Funny thing is, when I made up my mind, the guys out there are approaching me more. Go figure. :)

[@adorahowell7223]

+LamourDeLucie I am in ur same boat. I want children badly n my biological clock is ticking. I find myself settling n putting up with stuff I never would have in my younger days and getting hurt like crazy

[@MaricaIvica]

+LamourDeLucie same here. But I will not choose fear, fear is not being open for love or a good partner.

[@terrib.1801]

+LamourDeLucie You can have a child on your own. You can freeze your eggs. Or, my friend had a child in vitro thru a sperm bank. Her daughter is a beautiful little girl and she is so happy. Her mom moved in with her and babysits her granddaughter during the day while she works. After you fulfill your own dreams, you will be able to put yourself and your child first which a real man treasures. Also, most men that you meet will have kids as well.

[@FreeSpirit47]

***** Been there, had 4 kiddos. It's not like you'd think it is. I gave many years, work, time, sacrifice. I home schooled my kiddos, taught them as much as they would absorb, loved them, nurtured them. This past Mothers Day? Not even a dam card. Even a phone call would have been nice. Nope. Children are born with their own individual personality. I have a very good relationship with only *one* out of four, so I cherish her, lavish love & attention on her.

[@FreeSpirit47]

Terri Beitel I blocked this Gary Whatever as he trolls around the internet, making nasty comments. He found his way to this comment thread.

[@sugandhadogra1781]

out of my life experience , we always know what we want .. just on the surface we might know though , for example , i always know what pizza i want to eat , what dress i want , where i want my vacations to be , who my friends are , with whom i want to hang on ...so basically we KNOW. if someone is confused , just step back .. trust me this way u r not only respecting his time and space but also respecting your self. i have been there and done that , love is not always about being with someone and getting married to them , its also about letting them go .. you know what if they truly love you they will come back .. do not be an option in anybody's life. never!!

[@glitzchannelforchildren]

Yeah when you are an option its like you're stuck in the friend zone

[@russelkevin8939]

I tried this to the same sex and I lost him 😭😭😭 but thank you because I don't want to settle to less than I deserve. Finally, I can start moving on now

[@SkS-ux4yb]

same here, hope you are doing better now, give yourself sometime

[@inteligenciaemocionalcanina]

He was just not the right person for you, but it doesnt mean you will not find the right one 🌹

[@zytha2890]

@Salvador Luna how can you even fall in love with someone like that xD

[@mondohdz531]

I’m curious to see how you are doing after the year? Has your ex tried reaching out? I’m in the same boat. I broke up with mine last week because he doubted the 2 yr relationship we had. Walking away and looking forward

[@Wendyfan2009]

Same I lost him too and upset about it and I hate having to go back to school and see his friends with him not there that will remind me of him and I will get sad and depressed and emotional

[@dannasamson1344]

I told my ex a version of mine of your advise cause i considered of our actual status..After 6 days of NO CONTACT he finally reached me out and saying my silence made him realized that he is now 100% sure of himself about his feeling about me and ready to commit..Scarcity to lose me, at the same time i regain my self worth. Set our boundaries and guy will adore us more. More power Matthew!

[@TravelConMiki]

How‘s the relationship going?

[@brookebenton8192]

He's either not physically attracted to you, doesn't like your personality or is a f@ckboy. If the "right woman" came along they would be in a relationship with them in a heartbeat. So basically they want one, just not with YOU!!

[@PosiTiva85]

Let's be honest, most of the time "not ready for a relationship" means "I wanna have S E X but I'm not in love with you". Come on girls, guys are not stupid and not confused. This is just a way to be polite and not a hysterical drama queen.

[@soyou9212]

This.

[@ashley684]

Not always the case, and it’s not the case if you don’t allow it either. If you put yourself in a position to just be a hook up - well, that’s on you.

[@jomti6362]

There is something wrong with these Y-Chromosome beings 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@susannarose3574]

there is !

[@luminous6969]

The thing that's wrong with men is that they keep falling for women that complicate their lives, cause drama, nag him to an early grave, and take men to the cleaners after a divorce when they could easily replace them with a $50 pocket pussy from Amazon. So yeah, I totally agree with you.

[@ME-vk6tv]

@@luminous6969 Wow

[@tl.2313]

Let him go ... Too much effort depicts low self esteem.

[@smaragdag.8394]

The truth has spoken. And when they see you have low self esteem, they try less and less every fcking time. Time to be a bitch and move on fast to the next one

[@kurdaaa6988]

@@smaragdag.8394 how much is too much effort is the question?

[@smaragdag.8394]

@@kurdaaa6988 copy his interest. If he makes a big step and a nice move, do in return (as long as you are ok with it and you want to take it to the next level ofc). If he backs off, give him space. And always remember what you want, your values and standards

[@kurdaaa6988]

@@smaragdag.8394 thank you for the answer🙌❤

[@karinanikoghos7285]

great...I said right the opposite.."OMG, you are already fucking 40, what is there to think about still? I am sorry, but I can't wish you happiness"...YAY...go me....

[@AR7271]

He was letting you down easy.

[@EducatedButton]

yaaas, you go girl

[@GrubKiller436]

Another woman proving that she has scarce empathy? Sounds about right.

[@parazti]

Literally me as fuck right now, even though I'm almost 19. He's still basically 40 lmao and still claims he ain't ready. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@MsNobody]

It's sad to admit but I just broke up with my guy last night oddly enough I said something similar to this. He had tears in his eyes. He isn't ready & he has so much going on that I am on the back burner with his plans. So I had to let him go. He didn't want to break up. But...as much as I want to say it's ok for me to be around be his shock absorber.... I want to be a priority not an option. Told him that once he has figured out & cleaned his floor figuratively speaking...then he can come back & let me know. He wants to keep in touch for special reasons. He does not want to lose me he said. I told him.... I don't too... I love him in a way that I want all the best in the world for him. But I want to be happy too. I am not going to stand there & just watch what happens when he has no plans specifically for me. I am very sad & I was crying... But.... I have to let him go..

[@ariadnewolf8667]

I'm usually the person with too much going on. But I realized eventually that I will always have a ton going on, and the key is what I prioritize.

[@Tawny593]

What ended up happening? Are you in a relationship with him now?

[@dizzybizzy8284]

Currently in this situation

[@tg9898]

Hope yr ok. I got this 7days ago, he said to stay friends an were still in touch but all its doing is hurting me. He initiates the text 99.9% of the time. I acted hurt initially, an I wish I'd said what Matthew advises. I know I have to walk away for now, so when he next text, I'm going to send a modified version. The lockdown means things are amplified for me but I need to start thinking only about me 😒

[@lingardtiktok5260]

@@tg9898 ok

[@amree141]

So glad I came across this. Thank you Matthew it gave me the confidence to say this to someone who had been treating me like an option. I feel so like I'm valuing myself again x

[@marisahall6741]

my response would be "Ok" end of story

[@SublimeLullaby]

Marisa Hall my response was ok and twice as friendly and cool and then bye and ghosting him at work,

[@youdontknowannyeonghaseyo9167]

Mine was ok , bye. Heartless asf lol he even sounded like wow that’s all

[@chantalreneehayles7976]

lmao he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. i told him i couldn't be playing games and didn't feel like sticking around and he got really upset, almost cried. he kept begging that we should at least try to be friends. that he didn't want me out of his life and couldn't just be strangers with me. i ended up agreeing to remain friends and now i'm stuck in whatever the hell this is haha guys are so complicated.

[@chocolatecharley99]

Chantal Renee Hayles Don't sleep with him if he wants to play like that

[@Visualmetal]

fuck I am in the same shit as u!! Just mine is different, we are dating. But I have come to I point where I want a guy who can be here for me. In this with me. He on the other hand lost this and is confused of what to do in the future. I wanted to break up to let him go, and myself. But he asked to try again and that he will change his way. Or wait for me basically he said . I have told him this so meany times now..that it just won't work. So thanks! I'll use this sentence to break it of. And hopefully we'll get peace. Because I do really Care dor him

[@patriciaheil1664]

Amen sister. GUYS are complicated and seem to be so immature when it comes to love and relationships. They are like scared little boys.

[@AbeVsTheWorld]

Chantal Renee Hayles So let me get this straight. When a guy does that to a girl, guys are complicated? But when its vice versa, its a normal thing, girls are like that, suck it up and move on?

[@Zimsness]

Gurl dont waste your valuable time 😂 also dont let him use you in any way for his own selfish interest...

[@porkling4105]

This worked very well for me and I hope it works for other ladies too.

[@miriamvalentin5987]

@Porkling - hi there! what results did u get? I told mine yesterday... 😓

[@hanahanadi]

and what was your result?

[@ThePoptartjunkie]

If he’s not ready for a relationship,drop him. He’s not ready for a relationship with you. You’ll find someone who will.

[@moniamonia1009]

Yes. I just heard it from someone. After more than six months connection. But he is ready for casual sex☺

[@rohitasharma3931]

It's matter of feelings emotions and true values..U can't love any second person

[@luzasmr]

You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you..

[@RealtorYogi]

The next time a guy says he's not ready I'm not saying a word - I'm just walking away. This last guy literally lied about wanting a relationship. He said, I told you what you wanted to hear so I could get what I wanted.

[@jenclark3021]

What an ass be glad he gone.

[@deborahbrown5860]

so sad say anything u

[@lauraschotter]

Alessandra Burenin you shouldn't believe him at first he should have prove it that he means what he says.

[@jwon5614]

Right?!?!?! That's exactly what they all do!

[@mgtowarena9636]

Then dont date us. Duhhhhh date women :)

[@OcchioniApotropaici]

I have been on both sides: "I am not ready for a relationship" means "I don't want a relationship with you" (or anybody else, but still, you neither). So women and men, don't waste your time and just move forward.

[@jlewsd]

OcchioniApotropaici Truth

[@phuongcao2155]

I said this to my ex before i found this, and now, we’re apart in a peaceful and greatful way. Dude, love is trust, you could say whatever you want from the bottom of the heart, no strategy or lesson is better than respect each other and communicate well. Hope that everyone will find out “the one” for them, and live happily no matter how hard our lives are

[@HaritiniPandis]

This actually takes courage and self respect. You need to be able to say this and walk the walk. Matthews actually on point. The way people deliver messages hold more value if delivered respectfully. It's all androgynous semantic realignment. If something is meant for you, rest assured that it will return. If not, you've gained time in getting to know other people who CAN offer you what you need. ❤️

[@cosmopolitanbay9508]

"It's all androgynous semantic realignment." - Wow! Still sinlge? Get in touch, we've got things to do and talk about ;))

[@xw6475]

OMG, My tears are running down when i see this video. I fell in love with a guy who recently confessed me that he has this commitment issue. And its been a week i am still so angry with myself because i thought he was my soulmate while clearly he is not ready for a relationship because he told me that he has fear of commitment, i feel pity for him still but i need to let him go. Thank you for this video matthew!!

[@darsh5439]

I am feeling the same way as you now. It hurts.

[@xw6475]

Yes, it hurts like hell, it has caused me physically and emotional pain. He was the one i thought was special but its turns out he is a such a coward loser. Please stay strong and it WILL GET BETTER!!!

[@xw6475]

I am so sorry for you. Maybe its also this is the time God wanted to text you Strength and found out how STRONG you are, i believed the concept of Soulmate. And i am telling you that i was never been so sure about my life about anything than him. Then he freaked out and step back and left me over there ALL ALONE. Fuck him! how are you now??

[@darsh5439]

Xiaoli Wang I hope you're feeling better now. I guess only time can heal these wounds.

[@xw6475]

Thank you so much Dar sh! Well true the time can heal but more important, i think the decision of letting him go is the best decision i made for myself. When people show you who they are, believe them. Thank you for writing to me!

[@MishkyMo95]

This is how you find a high value, honest relationship with integrity.

[@rociohernandez9843]

How about at the beginning he puts the moon at your feet then you have a quarrel he keeps bringing the quarrel when I told him you pampered me so much I miss the old John ….. he I told you I was going to think it over and maybe I don’t feel it so I don’t say it . And I don’t know

[@anastasiawortham8833]

Yup just say ,"Okay, I want you to be happy but I can't promise to be here when you are ready." I've discovered that less is more with men and being straight forward and direct is the best answer to avoiding confusion

[@lvigilful]

This is such valuable information. Thank you!

[@reshmajadhav4195]

Hi iv met this guy whom i started to love a lot we have shared a lot of moments together..but the worst thing is this that he has a lot of memories of his ex he is not able to recover from his ex and she is already married its been years but he isn't ready to forget her when asked him where do i stand in his life he gives me the answer (( I like you and i love you a lot. But that's all I can say as of now. I am in no position to give any commitment to you. Very well knowing that I felt I shouldn't restrict you !! The main part that I myself have to clear my head and heart to love someone ... properly with all my heart !! )) this is what he says where on one hand he wants me but other hand he isn't getting out of her can u please help me to help him to forget her and get out of her completely...his parents are very worried all his behaviour towards his parents has also changed and i dont want to stick on to him like this not knowing where do i stand in his life so i decided to get her out of him so that he will be free from all shit and be normal i know its not a easy task at all but at least by this attempt of mine can bring him back to his normal life. Also i never know if he really says that he feels the same as i feel for him.. i know that one of the reason that he is backing off is coz he wants to get a proper carer ..please help me i seriously don’t know what to do now?..Thanks.

[@Crazywaffle5150]

Louella Vigil No, it's common sense and logic, while still pandering.

[@nursegrace7492]

"I want your happiness more than anything in the world." What are you supposed to be, his mommie? Ugh. I think it's good to say I love you or I care for you, or I'm invested in you and am here to help, or I want you to be happy, or any number of things, but "I want your happiness more than anything in the world" is rather codependent...and unhealthy.

[@viktorwillyam]

THANK YOU, i was just about to say that. it sounds like a line in a romantic comedy movie

[@quarantinelife.]

Yea wtf was that 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tanyatanya9492]

👍👍

[@zawadianzuruni2527]

True 🤣🤣🤣😂

[@Tokillthedragon-24]

Him: I don't want a relationship Me: Who said I was looking for a relationship? Also me: That didn't sound right.

[@redfather5342]

Emily Lamoureux then what the he'll are you looking for bitch

[@janinaleedelrio]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@patpatmoomoo5524]

Denial.

[@windymanaog4011]

That's actually a brilliant response LOL! Put the ball on his court

[@lucyheartfilia6559]

I did this, sincerely, don’t do it. you’ll live in denial and he’ll start taking distance with you thinkin he thought he had a chance but prefered to take his time and you just smashed him like “there ain’t no us”

[@maccodina22]

So, I did say this exact statement recently with a man, whom I adore, who wanted to sort things out and the next day he called telling me the idea of my not being around or with another man was unimaginable. It helped put things into perspective for him. I don’t know what the future holds but I’m incredibly optimistic. Thank you Matthew!

[@TheDarkRaven]

How did that relationship go?🥺

[@debrawis7187]

Men say this when there are other women he wants to Play!

[@ranip7644]

#Menaretrash.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Debra,you are absolutely gorgeous ❤🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

[@nehaelis8323]

True

[@ginohernandez3770]

good advice.. the problem is that people wont listen. and they start to beg.. and thats completely Unattractive.

[@davesworld7688]

If a guy says he isn’t ready, trust me, he’s most likely not into you. The “I’m not ready” line is typically used when a guy isn’t attracted to a woman. Yeah, there’s times where a guy may need some time after a breakup or something. But in most scenarios, I’m not ready means “I’m not interested”.

[@barbaralovasvaljan6549]

Daves World Then why they just cant say ”sorry Im not interrested enough” ? Why they dont stand for what they really feel and think? Dont they have balls for that? Its maybe time to grow up and act like a man and not like a child.

[@maeuschen22]

Cos theyre cowards and want to play the nice guy so they tell you all these excuses to soften things and make u break up w them

[@zytha2890]

Actually you might be suprised to learn that it depends on the *context* and *body language* if you think it took the "im not ready" to be a sign he's not interested then you're not reading it right Some actually dont feel ready and probably want a *friend* but if you aren't looking for a *friend* you should try to politely tell him no I've seen it happen so often where the girl just decides to pull a bitch move and assume the worst instead of reading the situation or considering *why* Keep in mind you just have to be there He actually has to try to be charming witty and funny Don't be surprised if he might be a bit emotionally comprimised after (probably) a lot of failed attempts I have a best friend who gave up entirely on trying to get in a relationship and practically lives alone so i visit him pretty often to play games or w/e (i usually have nothing better to do and i play games myself so its w/e)

[@mansisharma6261]

Then he must say I need time.

[@CydneeChristine]

Can I ask if its more of the after break up reason, what I should do? I am going through this rn and struggling