When You Know It's Time To Leave A Relationship But You're Too Attached

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Күн бұрын

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@heidipriebe1 6 ай бұрын

Please Note: I do not have a telegram account and will not contact you privately for any reason. If someone reaches out to you based on a comment you have left claiming to be me, this is a fraudulent account.

@andrew.gardiner 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for having our back. Heidi. You are a class act. Fellow loyal Preibsters please be advised that there are some people who are trying to the cheat off Heidi’s well earned credibility, reputation, and good will that she has carefully and skillfully developed/curated and attempting to con her community of loyal followers. Please take heed. Heidi - I appreciate you calling this out. It’s becoming rampant on YT. XOXO Andrew

@nicolewaterson6562 5 күн бұрын

Hey Heidi, I have a quick question. Thank you as always for your great insights. I've found this video helpful to refresh whenever I feel rocky in my relationship. It's actually shown me that I am often contributing to issues I saw as my partner's fault, in ways that I'm blind to (your blindspots series was so eyeopening for this), because I was definitely outsourcing my own needs onto my partner. My question is, with this framework is there any reason that social networks and partner are separate? I understand that partner is potentially a unique type of relationship so it comes with it's own unique focus, but I guess I would have placed it within social networks?

@Yintendo 6 ай бұрын

Heidi Priebe should be declared a world wonder. ✨️😂 thank you for all the work that you do. 🙏🏼

@bumblebee_ms 6 ай бұрын

She is stunning with a huge brain, so brilliant!

@dramatriangle 6 ай бұрын

Heidi rocks!

@injinii4336 6 ай бұрын

Not a world wonder, but maybe a national cultural treasure

@Yintendo 6 ай бұрын

@@injinii4336 pretty sure she is Canadian, us US Citizens want to claim her too. 😆 and anyway her work knows no borders. World 👏🏼 Wonder 👏🏼 !!!!!!

@injinii4336 6 ай бұрын

@@Yintendo world treasure? I just dislike the idealization of calling anyone a 'wonder' Nit-picky and silly? Perhaps.

@heaventwig 5 ай бұрын

15:29 “you might have an anxious-leaning partner, who just tells you over and over again that you’re their favorite person in the world, that they can’t imagine life without you. But it also feels like they’re chronically kind of angry at you, or actually really displeased with your priorities and values that they’re claiming they like.” I’m listening to this line on repeat.

@Supercell33294 4 ай бұрын

Me too. THIS right here is the main reason I left my relationship. Words and actions never matched up.

@zaram131 3 ай бұрын

Same here! I could tell he didn’t really mean what he was saying. So heartbreaking and painful.

@TheKnallkorper 3 ай бұрын

This is a struggle in my marriage. I’m left confused often and it drains me

@sallyjrwjrw6766 Ай бұрын

This is what happened to me. And it slowly turned toxic. I left him after 20 years and then he admitted we should have divorced after six.

@jamescalbert4958 6 ай бұрын

The concept of self care being a social responsibility rang like a bell in my consciousness.

@universaltruth2025 5 ай бұрын

Its a great way to think about it ❤

@laurenparnell2483 6 ай бұрын

Dang, the part about insecure attachment operating “strategically” and then having regrets about what if they’d used a different strategy vs. Secure attachment operating cleanly/genuinely/ laying all their cards out and feeling clear (yet sad) about a breakup is such an aha.

@JonahHW 6 ай бұрын

Yeah, I liked that one so much that I started a doc for Heidi Priebe quotes just so I could write it down

@whitewolf9547 6 ай бұрын

Same feeling for me 😂I always start out so confident in relationships then I slowly break down and lose myself. People are so complex and I don’t feel like I can do it again even though I’m so lonely

@sethtenrec 3 ай бұрын

@@whitewolf9547 it comes back always to working on yourself first

@_shynanigans7859 15 күн бұрын

I don’t get much experience but these videos make me feel a little more confident for the next person to stroll along. Being truthful is honestly the best thing to do in any type of relationship no matter what the attachment style

@GabrielleP310 7 күн бұрын

Her videos are way too long and it’s creating an opposite effect. An overextending savior complex from her telling people how secure people grieve versus insecure people grieve. Grief is grief and it’s messy‼️ Her videos can come off too analytical to the point of dehumanizing and when she does comparisons in a “versus” way leading to possible self inadequacy and overt self knit picking 😢.

@jeanpgwinnett 6 ай бұрын

As an avoidant person struggling to accept my decision to end my relationship with a man I am still in love with. Heidi's advice has made me feel like I can survive this heartbreak aslong as I keep focused on this whole process. 3 months after breaking up, I have been rethinking my decision, but this has just reassured me. Thankyou 🙏🏻

@LordInvictus-yt 6 ай бұрын

Anyone can be compatible with anyone as long as both parties work together to make decisions. The problem with avoidants is they don't work with anyone. It's your responsibility to open up and yield.

@jessicahue5676 6 ай бұрын

You can and will survive this. And if you truly want to have a happy healthy relationship and life and are WILLing to do what it takes to get that life... You WILL have it. Future you is going to look back and thank current you for being so strong and for trying so hard....and for going through this uncomfortable phase and for suffering through negative emotions...kinda like a sacrifice of instant gratification for a lifetime of happiness. "Don't trade what you want the most for what you want right now"....good luck on your journey! You got this?

@mguerrepaix 6 ай бұрын

me too! it’s been passed 6 months actually, still on the process

@jeanpgwinnett 6 ай бұрын

@@mguerrepaix I'm definitely learning that the longer the healing process.........the better you become!!!🙌

@tigermagda 5 ай бұрын

It's always easier for avoidants. Next one will be crap too unless you consider therapy.

@laurah2831 6 ай бұрын

Omg this brings new meaning to complex grief. It can happen without any stereotypically complex deaths or losses. It’s about attachment!

@JulieMae 6 ай бұрын

1000000% attachment wounding is the genesis of deep / complex grief

@4LLT0G3TH3R 6 ай бұрын

I don't know what to do. It hurts

@jessd956 5 ай бұрын

@@4LLT0G3TH3RI feel this in every part of me. I’m in agony. Sending you love.

@aspiringrootwoman24 6 ай бұрын

One thing I'm trying is to remember prior lovers who i had to walk away from. Once it felt like i would never be "over" them and would never want anyone else and yet.... I did. Again and again. So this current person will one day join their ranks.

@monalletinie143 5 ай бұрын

This is so relatable. I'm thinking i might die if my current partner is gone, but then i remember i went through breakups before and i also thought i wouldn't survive because they were the loves of my life... but i did and they weren't.

@Astronaut216 6 ай бұрын

Dang it Heidi, how do you always do this to me?! After being unhappy for years, I separated from my wife last month. I am super interested to hear what you have to say on the topic! Thank you for continuing to make your videos, they (along with therapy) have helped me come so far in the last year!

@verjiggawich 6 ай бұрын

Congratulations on taking that brave step!

@UploadPicture2041 6 ай бұрын

I finally let him go after 2 weeks of him ghosting me. Sent him a message telling him that I love him too much but it's not what he wanted and that I needed to heal. I became too attached to him and it suffocated him. I made him my saviour. I lost myself in the relationship and valued myself based on how he treated me. I am slowly healing but it only happened when I finally sent him that final message.

@jessd956 5 ай бұрын

You are so brave - I am proud of you. I want to be where you are but at this moment I feels as though I’m not ready. I’ve had so much pain, but I can’t let go yet for a variety of reasons.

@jessd956 5 ай бұрын

Incidentally my bf is FA and recently ghosted me for 2 weeks minus two nights where he only texted the words Good night. As an AP w C-PTSD, even hours of stonewalling are excruciating…

@Joisu121 3 ай бұрын

I had a similar experience. I am the anxious one. Hugs.

@xuemma-pb7ys 3 ай бұрын

@@jessd956what’s AS AP?

@xuemma-pb7ys 3 ай бұрын

@@jessd956I was anxious,he was NPD or avoidant ,his cold violence hurt me so much triggered me in a really bad way ,I would stay sleepless for nights and called him endlessly,but he kept ignoring and then called me crazy

@angeline6995 4 ай бұрын

This has been so, so helpful with the intense grief that I've felt ending a relationship this weekend. Thank you.

@angeliquec1928 5 ай бұрын

Leaving the codependent/trauma bond relationship is so damn hard. I'm literally moving to another state because the distraction of the dopamine hit from the relationahip is too tempting. Its like he's an addiction. I recognize this isn't healthy and my gods do I want to stay! But I realize I need to work on healing this internal attachment toxicity. I want to feel safe inside, without "needing" him.

@LolaAileenVanslette 21 күн бұрын

I feel that way too. It's so hard living this close.

@miss_whipps 6 ай бұрын

I'm only 6 minutes into this video and AMAZED at how well you're articulating the exact situation I'm presently in! It's as if the universe is offering me the specific tools i need to extricate myself from a dynamic which is destroying me. Thank you for taking the time to make this video; i feel so understood, grateful for guidance, and hopeful that i can make it through this!

@susank2019 6 ай бұрын

Your channel is some of the very best content on KZbin. Thank you.

@musiclistener28 6 ай бұрын

I needed this last year, grateful I finally had the courage to end it for good.. I hope there’s a second part about finding yourself again after being so enmeshed

@IrisSirianni 6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this! I can see how far I've come in healing my anxious style. I also see what is left to be healed. Not beating myself up, just lovin myself through healing. You're wonderful ❤

@itsKochon 6 ай бұрын

Aw man I really could've used this. Unfortunately it's too little too late. She pulled the cord on us last week. I wish I had had the strength to end it months ago, the pain I'm going through right now would've been much easier to bear. I just hope there's still some salvageable part of me left in there somewhere to reconnect with...

@friedkake1876 6 ай бұрын

It’s okay. We live and we learn. We become better people and grow through our pain so we can be with the person we are truly meant to be with

@justanotherdaytodayy 5 ай бұрын

You will be fine go no contact which helped me heal faster

@rallwine100 3 ай бұрын

Heidi, I just wanted to send so much gratitude to you! Your ability to heal yourself and others is so beautiful. I know there are hundreds of thousands of us whose lives are more fulfilling because of your kind and clear teaching. I am so thankful you chose to start a channel to share your journey and teach all of us. Thank you!

@sharlotemoh 3 ай бұрын

thank you Heidi this material has been of great help to me i ended a relationship with someone who loved and respected me very much and i haven't stopped feeling guilty about it. For some reason i didn't think i would be happy in a long term after listening to this piece, i think found closure. Thank you

@JC_124 6 ай бұрын

Im a FA leaning anxious. What i don't understand is how do people stay years and years in these relationships. 4 months feeling miserable and i end it. I can't endure pain for to long. My last boyfriend left me hanging on my birthday to be with his friends, after i told him that was important for me. This on top of everything else he made me go through, made me snap. I ended it right there because there was no reasoning with him. I know it wasn't important for him, but in my mind when it's important for the person we love, its important for us. He couldn't understand this (or he didn't want to) so i ended it.

@laurah2831 6 ай бұрын

I hear you. I think it’s cause the instability in FA is so painful that it would be harder to stay longer? Consistent pain is somewhat more tolerable than rapidly changing and chaotic pain? Maybe FAs can’t dissociate as consistently with the switching.

@asvegas777 6 ай бұрын

I’m heavy DA leaning FA but I feel this. Once I see something I can’t unsee it - and if I feel devalued, disrespected or treated poorly I feel literally sick about it…

@Paraphernelia04 6 ай бұрын

literally why all of the relationships ive been in have lasted maximum 4-5 months, im grateful to that side of me though because i believe if i didnt have that screaming voice inside of me alerting me of problems id end up like so many people stuck in unhappy relationships for years.

@Rissy617 6 ай бұрын

For me and my husband, we both basically recreated our toxic families so we thought these dynamics were normal 😔 We had become enmeshed/codependent which made it difficult to see and feel clearly. Felt like we "needed to fight" for the relationship without awareness of where to draw the line. Even unhealthy relationships provide a sense of security to insecure people and we weren't abusing each other so it wasn't super obvious to us that this wasn't healthy. So lots of healing to do now that I've left 😅 but glad I am aware to all of this now

@asvegas777 6 ай бұрын

@@Ark-ys2up it’s a blessing and a curse to be so sensitive in detecting patterns and changes in patterns - i guess we need to learn to more effectively advocate for ourselves whilst not hurting others along the way as opposed to feeling awful or even sick.. easier said than done!

@solgast 6 ай бұрын

Right on Heidi! Yup. This pretty much sums it all up. Be free, feel free and you have all the right to remove yourself from any situation that is stagnating for you.

@LordInvictus-yt 6 ай бұрын

Marriage is forever.

@Zar2244 6 ай бұрын

@@LordInvictus-ytNo it's not a life sentence

@saanvit109 6 ай бұрын

This is the greatest resource on this topic and it is helping so many people. Thank you Heidi, from the bottom of my heart❤

@davidarenaud 6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for framing how it looks for securely attached vs insecurely attached. It really makes a difference being able to understand what it should look and feel like. Your work is incredibly helpful! 🙏

@pamelacaballero6111 3 ай бұрын

9:50 self esteem. I’m still valuable when I leave.

@gemwebb Ай бұрын

Strategy Vs authentic connection laying out needs clearly is a serious realization. Thank you. ❤🎉

@ben.shields 16 күн бұрын

Thank you for the deep dive, I felt crazy, couldn’t understand what I’m going through, and couldn’t relate to advice online

@prosperity0119 2 ай бұрын

There’s so much to learn from this video especially in a long term relationship and breaking with both parties have insecure attachment issues..I have to watch it multiple times to digest the wisdom..keep it flowing Heide 🙏

@louisdoberman6652 6 ай бұрын

Heidi , you’re so insightful, clear and amazing. Can’t thank you enough…I envy your own partner😊

@chiaraA. 6 ай бұрын

This is an unbelievably smart discussion - so helpful!

@SK-lj1ql 6 ай бұрын

Laying all cards on the table, operating from truth Vs operating through strategies

@charlesdial7152 2 ай бұрын

This is spot on, she has healed and I'm going through my karma and pain now and I know that eventually I will have to let her go but it's been hard because we have kids together but I'm here twin flame but I had trauma from the past that I was running from for so long, so when she said smthg about another guy I kinda knew but it still hurt. I realize that I don't want to be with her or anyone else for awhile because I need to heal and find myself and get back to the man I was b4 I hit the fan. 💯🙏😫

@CambieSweets 6 ай бұрын

Heidi has ESP or she understands a lot of people struggle with this. I’m going to go with both.

@handlemonium 6 ай бұрын

Yup betting all my Bitcoin on this 👍

@vednobolje 2 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤ This is very comforting as much for the confirmation and information, as for the clarity. I've been in the midst of a complex break up for the last three months. I keep trying to make it a simple one by stating my truth over and over again and trying to understand where he's coming from, but we just aren't able to get there. It's like he keeps slipping through my fingers, keeps acting different and saying different things.. offering help and showing care and then shutting me off and ignoring me.. I still can't tell if he just needs some time to process or he really wants to be done. And I'm guessing I'm gonna have to decide for myself, without knowing all the facts or "checking all the strategies" as you say.. there's always "something more I could've done" or "maybe I didn't give him enough time and space to work through his freeze response everytime I expressed what I was feeling"... but it's most likely the problem was me doing too much.. It hurts so bad, especially because what began the dissolution, was his negliegence of my dog who got badly hurt because of it.. I'm now taking care of her 24/7, hoping she'll recover enough to have a peaceful, natural death (she's 16 yo).. He says he was just too burned out to care, from working too much and driving to my place and back again (he wouldn't move in with me even after two years, because he was afraid of loosing clients; he's a house painterand I couldn't move in with him as he was still living with roomates and dogs weren't allowed there). What's most confusing is, like you mentioned, there seemed to be much understanding on his part of what wasn't working, but then never actually making the changes in behaviour. And he never wanted for anything. Even though I let him know continuosly that it's okay to have needs and that I want to know him in this way too, he saw expectations as an unspiritual thing. So of course he burned out. 😢 It is so confusing when they seem so aware and willing to work on it, but then just cut off emotionally and fade out without keeping in touch and trying to resolve it, like they said they would.. and what is heartbreaking is knowing we did love each other, still do, but the old trauma just keeps getting in the way.. 💔 Oh, I'm a mess.. but this helps a lot. The main muscle I have to build is connection to self and to Life! I feel like I abandoned myself and my faith the most.. the resource one is probably gonna be tough, too, because he helped me with my house a lot. I'm just so grateful to have supportive family and friends who are my strongest muscle, always. 💞

@Cat.Black101 6 ай бұрын

Thank you! This is so helpful, validating and actionable particularly covering the differences between securely attached versus anxiously attached relationship especially when CPTSD is involved. Thank you also for speaking more slowly. Some of your past videos are much much faster. When you speak slowly and clearly it is so much easier to hear and integrate the information. Thank you for specifically covering this in depth.

@SpiralMystic 6 ай бұрын

This is brilliant. So clear. So many points I hadn't considered before - especially that 'strategy' approach. Countless times I've wondered - maybe I could/could've done this or that. Or the partner being your coregulation person! Yikes, how entangled that obviously is! Thank you.

@vincentcoulombe8790 6 ай бұрын

I wish I had that video last fall before my breakup 😂 but this video helped me a lot to understand more stuff retrospectively and helped me in my therapy process, thank you

@santiagoFvl 6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this. It's helping me process my very recent breakup in ways I hadn't been able to work out on my own.

@jamespetersen5583 5 ай бұрын

Experiencing most of what you talked about. Makes a lot of sense. Thank you Heidi.

@JoanFFF Ай бұрын

I need this!!!! Thank you!!! I cried 3 days 5 months post breakup. Dear god

@Kyraanastasia 3 ай бұрын

You are amazing! Clear and concise!!!

@crystalmckinneycoaches 4 ай бұрын

This was so thorough. Thank you. Also so exhausting to consider. I don’t even know where to start. Keep doing the work that you do. Thank you again.

@reconnectwithtrue 5 ай бұрын

Your videos have helped me so much since I discovered your channel about six months ago… When this video popped up as the first recommended video on my feed, I kind of laughed lol A sign. All the things I needed to hear in this moment. Thank you so much.

@ThotCrimes84 6 ай бұрын

Some people stay in relationships because they can't financially afford to leave.

@asvegas777 6 ай бұрын

So so many. My perception about this growing up probably had a lot to do with my focus on self sufficiency - for better for worse

@ThotCrimes84 6 ай бұрын

Sure there's learned helplessness. There's also situations where illness, surgery, lack of safety nets, no family, student loan debt, having kids, stagnant wages and/or rent inflation can also be a thing that pulling oneself up by the boot straps and out of a relationship can be easier said then done.

@Zar2244 6 ай бұрын

@@ThotCrimes84Spot on

@Anonytubous 6 ай бұрын

That's my case. I'm so scared. But made the decision. It might be the worst decision in my life.

@WłasnySpokój 6 ай бұрын

I left while having a mountain of debt and pretty shitty job prospects. I'm glad I did, my mental health is getting immensely better. But the financial reality is brutal. Truly fucking brutal. I sometimes tear up thinking about small luxuries I could afford like regularly eating out. I would not have done anything differently though.

@raledrkbld 6 ай бұрын

wow... just wow Heidi. Thank you so much. Im going through a breakup right now and this has really helped.

@omarelrafhi9595 3 ай бұрын

appreciate your content a lot, i have also an avoidant attachment style, and i really connect with your exemples

@juliacosma9649 6 ай бұрын

Could you do a video on how to know when to stay and try to work on a relationship or when to leave for those that are insecurely attached?

@mjobe20 5 ай бұрын

I spent almost two months trying to fix my relationship with my ex but I was the only trying to fix it eventually I found she was sleeping with someone else and it destroyed me. This video has helped immensely for moving forward.

@jackiel7726 3 ай бұрын

Sorry Me too ❤️‍🩹

@firefeethok_tui2355 4 ай бұрын

How can we all let another person, allow to make us feel that we are not loveable or worthy. Why do we tell ourselves we will be alone and worthless. Society sends us messages all the time about what makes one worthy or acceptable. The pain of it all is so great. Pain inside the relationship. Pain outside the relationship. And how can you be so smart ❤. Unbelievable speak. And timed perfectley for me. Thank you. Would love to see a video on mirroring. And what happens when its absent.

@FF-zv5ho 6 ай бұрын

I am fearful avoident, seeing all these complexities in a relationship and in india , we usually marry only once, and hard to leave 1 after the other, making decisions is like hell, and i am feeling like am never gonna make it and i never become secured and heal my mental scars, i am truly overwhelmed...

@universaltruth2025 5 ай бұрын

I think it is going to be harder when you are part of a culture that holds more traditional patriarchal values. Heidi comes from the US (I presume - or Canada?) which is really one of the few (mainly European countries) in which it is accepted that women can live independently and have multiple relationships with few social repercussions. Ie there are cultural and economic layers to this issue, as well as simply individual psychological attachment issues. I think we have to acknowledge those other layers to the argument rather than just saying ‘hey - if you feel unhappy and unfulfilled because of your insecure attachment styles you can just leave’. Tbh I suspect most people in the world will have some type of insecure attachment. But maybe you will find even in more traditional cultures that cultural expectations start to change. All the best to you and finding happiness in your future.

@hipnhappenin 6 ай бұрын

My issue is that I, as someone who's self-reflective and will work on relationships until they run dry, am having trouble moving on from a relationship that I really wanted to work on but my partner was fearful-avoidant and left at the first sign of conflict. How do I get over the fact that even though I was willing to work on the relationship, he was not? I'm left feeling like there was more I could've done to make him feel more comfortable communicating with me

@JulieMae 6 ай бұрын

I feel you 😞 the hard truth is we can't force them to be ready or willing. I know it sucks so much to realize it's out of your control and accept their hurtful choices, but you deserve true reciprocity from someone who carries equal responsibility for the health of your relationship. You could not of done it all for them or loved them into wanting to do their work. They have to really want it and ultimately they have to choose it for themselves. I hope you give yourself grace and release the fear that it's your fault they didn't heal / grow / show up.

@sln5968 6 ай бұрын

This is packed with really helpful suggestions and insight. Thank you! ❤🙏

@nwsistergoddess 5 ай бұрын

Wow. I’m feeling so many things. This was So enlightening.

@pb11118 2 ай бұрын

That book you referenced by Ross Ellenhorn is one of my faves!! To anyone who hadn't read it, GET IT

@tynicole1513 3 ай бұрын

This is an amazingly thorough video and extremely helpful ❤thank you

@camilahcami8914 Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing this. 🥰

@adriannag8101 6 ай бұрын

Heidi! This is so eye opening and gives me more strength to take action. Time to pull up the big girl undies and get a move on.

@jie9814 Ай бұрын

I want change myself, and worked really hard, but I still got dumped. It was a 5 years long term, heart breaking stuff

@Sarahizahhsum Ай бұрын

Instant subscriber. Thank you. Perfectly spot on.

@brightpage1020 6 ай бұрын

How to go more comfortably... So far have reached step 2 of like my 5 step plan.

@SpiralMystic 6 ай бұрын

31:35 "What parts of myself am I trying to heal or stay in connection with through this other person?" This deserves a whole video on it alone.

@alethea6781 6 ай бұрын

Very helpful discussion. Thank you 🙏

@Imconsciouslyconfussed 6 ай бұрын

I have broken up with the person but hoping this video will help me to move through the attachment

@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj 5 ай бұрын

That deep mirroring

@pankajsemalti7498 2 ай бұрын

I wish i could just forget that person, its unbearable..

@Freyr94 5 ай бұрын

I'm deeply grateful for your content! In this video I struggled a bit, when you adviced to lean to a support group. Well if I had to, I would, but I dont have assess to one. Finding a therapist or a group is very hard with a FA attachment style. I'm also not sure, how to let go of my relationship now, but it helped me very much that you pointed out that there are reasons or needs that get met by the person I love and therefor its important to get these meets met in another way. Also found the book recommendation about reasons why we change and why we dont interesting. So I wanna find out what prevents me from changing and I think that information gonna help me. Thank you!

@BRADLEY_108 4 ай бұрын

Who are you??! You’re like an angel that’s come down at the perfect time I feel excited to heal… such a great opportunity. Thank you 🙏

@JoHowe-v5i 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this honestly

@haydensmith1638 6 ай бұрын

Would appreciate a video like this but for the person who was left

@kz2005 5 ай бұрын

I LOVE my wife of 28 years and I really do hate the whole idea that OTHERS would suggest ME ( a DEVOTED HUSBAND) being involved with another woman, or that I am searching for someone else to replace MY darling wife who is also MY lover, MY friend. and MY business partner. STALKING a married man relentlessly, can most definitely create anxiety and unnecessary STRESS inside MARRIAGES. So MY advice to women is to STOP stalking and FOLLOWING married men around the globe. Because a decent woman should be able to find her very OWN man. I'm sure the man of her dreams is out there somewhere....waiting to meet her. I can hardly wait to PROUDLY walk around the country of BELIZE...holding hands and KISSING MY gorgeous WIFE.. Live On The Ground...for the world to see. ❤ But WE certainly do not need STALKERS in our life.

@2socksandahalf 5 ай бұрын

okay cried a lot watching this video!! after lot's of therapy never in my life I understood so clearly why I always stay in difficult relationships until I'm deeply depressed. I noticed ALL of my other 'muscles' often rely on romantic relationships and thus I find life being single super terrifying and pointless. I will try to make this video into text form and print it out so that i can keep it with me forever and reread it regularly. I do have another question with me though. I can say I'm quite 'love addict' since I am rarely single for more then a couple of (terrifying) months, sometimes just weeks or sometimes immediately. Everytime I tell myself after a breakup now is the time i learn to be comfortable by myself, but everytime my panic takes over me and I start looking for dates, 'just to reassure myself there's other options', but then I do meet someone new who i sincerely like, and feel almost disappointed because actually it's way too soon now, but I don't want to blow it of just to stay single and learn the hard way. My question is, do you (or anyone is the comments) believe I can also work on this, while giving in to myself and continue dating? Or should I just tell this person who'm seems interesting, that I want to stop dating because I need to be okay by myself without him before hand? I realise its more logical to do the second but it feels so hard, though I'm scared it might backlash getting into something new too fast again

@nedoshivin 6 ай бұрын

Ouch, it will be a much needed therapy hour.

@andrew.gardiner 2 ай бұрын

Don’t be sad it’s over, be glad it happened. Heidi, you should be running a large country. Seriously. XOXO Andrew

@User-uw7uw 6 ай бұрын

We are both checked out of the relationship. I checked out first. I kept leaving and tried to beg this person for space but he never gave me that and so I wound up staying and now he treats me worse than when he was hoovering and love bombing me. He acts checked out now but if I left he’d be begging. This is horrible

@user-hx3kd1zn7f 6 ай бұрын

It sounds like you’re navigating the complex dance of attachment styles-your avoidant tendencies might be pulling you back, while his anxious attachment prompts him to seek more connection, perhaps leading to behaviors that feel like love bombing or hoovering. This tension can create a painful push-pull dynamic. Understanding each other’s attachment styles could open the door to a more empathetic dialogue. It might help to communicate your need for space in a way that reassures his anxious attachment.

@user-hx3kd1zn7f 6 ай бұрын

I’m speaking from personal experience. My ex-wife could have wrote exactly what you did, including all the lingo that implies intentional manipulation.

@NadjaPolzin 4 ай бұрын

Very interesting that the partner got the center circle in the graphics. I would certainly put the connection to self or to purpose in the center, but it depends on personality types for sure. Very good elaboration though. Thank you for sharing.

@mm7846 4 ай бұрын

This makes so much sense 🫶

@j333z 4 ай бұрын

This is so helpful and the best information out there on this topic. Wow thank you

@patriciadeoliveira4126 5 ай бұрын

There’s one part I got confused: Do I need to find out in what ways I will care about community to find my purpose? Does it come from external reasons? I believe that’s my biggest issue… 😢

@Princessbubblegum567 6 ай бұрын

Crazy. I just broke up with him last week. This came in at the right time

@Dseated 6 ай бұрын

I'm in a great relationship, we have a lot in common and want to be together. But they are preoccupied with another person and it's obvious to me we are never going to live together.

@autodidyactinvermont5942 4 ай бұрын

My Dear Heidi, Like many who write to you here, I love your presentations! You are so fluid and natural! Such perspicacity must be the result of high intelligence plus DEEP LEARNING (LIVING your profession)! Years ago, I had the privilege of belonging to the Southern Florida Jung Society. One of the lecturers we brought in for our monthly weekend seminar was Murray Stein. Not long thereafter I purchased his book, “Practicing Wholeness, Analytical Psychology and Jungian Thought.” A great little volume packed full of wisdom. You might enjoy it.

@Samantha-gm8kv 4 ай бұрын

Woah this is deep and wholesome, thank you!

@BabylonBurnout 6 ай бұрын

Your tips and explanations are great but they seem to focus mostly on stiuations where factors like time, private and societal circumstances and individual needs that relate to those things aren't considered, e.g. to make a simple example; if I expect a big war, virus or finance crisis to break out in the next month's/years I would have to consider this into my plans of staying or leaving a girl or generally what I want and need, for exampleif you want to have as much good sex and time together as possible before getting pulverized by defensive missiles or transforming into a formless blob after ten booster shots. Basically as a man I calculate many things around sex first and after that I decide what to do ^^ mainly because I realized during covid that I couldn't stand something like that again without having enough fun before and during such an event.

@parastooab4935 8 күн бұрын

This was the best video I have ever watched ❤❤❤

@user-th7lu2yf7n 4 ай бұрын

why do people in videos like these say "have friends" "have intimate connections" "if not, get a therapist" so easily, as if it's so simple, just that simple? it makes me feel injusticed, angry, hopeless, just very awful. they say it so easily and without any clue on how to do that, they take these things for granted i don't have intimate connections, no. and i dont know how to. and of course access for good therapy isn't there for everyone hearing these things being talked about so simply makes me feel more awful and miserable i watched this video and i haven't had a romantic relationship before, i watched it because the heartbreak talk in it was very accurate to many of my friendships that i wished to be deeper and more intimate but didn't work out. though it also hurts to be so confused about how to approach friendship from that intimate place rather than a shallow one though i did like the rest of what was said in the video, it wad very insightful

@beabadoobeepo 2 ай бұрын

I feel you 😢it’s so hard to search for a support system

@eu40535 6 ай бұрын

Thank you for your professional help and love

@godsproperty2167 4 ай бұрын

Anyone else VOTES Heidi Psych KZbinr of the year!?? 🎉

@Wayfarer889 6 ай бұрын

Heidi! Thank you so much. This is a weight off of my shoulders. I now understand why i have stayed in a dysfunctional relationship that was hurting me for 18 years. I was feeling a lot of blame and shame, but this lifted some of that. Now, HOW do i actually get out? What do i say? How long should the convo be? What if i can't leave my home right away? Do i just sit on this until i have a place lined up?

@barbelarmbroster6524 6 ай бұрын

💎 🙏 💕 You are one of the most precious discoverys I've made on the Internet!

@magdalenagutierrez3072 6 ай бұрын

Contextualizing properly 💎the amputation

@Vindignatio 3 ай бұрын

There's an underlying feeling I get of like, do y'all really have that many connected friendships to count on at all times? like, friendships fade and you don't just "have" that. It feels like it comes from a place of priviledge or theory that completely disregards actual messy and complicated reality. Seems like enough people are sufficiently isolated, so proposing this as-is makes zero sense to me. Sort of a, bro, you really think that many people have well interconnected lives? communities? opportunities? It feels like adviced coming from so much priviledge. Similar to "money doesn't buy happiness", from someone who's never had to worry about eating.