HELP! I came out as gay and I now feel so awkward and self-conscious!

[@orielwiggins2225]

Archie!!! Huge high fives to you for being so self aware, self confident (yes, you already are more than you know) and articulate of what's going on with you. Most adults I know are not at this level enough to even have clear thoughts about what they are feeling and certainly not why. AND to go another step and not only realize you want something different, but to try to figure out how to get it and to reach out for help?! All those are huge! And the guys are right, very mature. They made great points, and I'd only add that maybe taking some time to really sit with and define what self confidence means to you and what that might look like to you in five years. Then you can just start to take baby steps when they are available to you. Eg: I would love to be confident enough to speak in public without fear of judgement causing me to freeze up. So I'll start by speaking to one stranger a week, just to smile and maybe say something complimentary. And then notice what comes up for you as you try to take those mini steps. And above all, be gentle and compassionate to yourself. We only improve in a healthy way in that mindset This is coming from someone who's had their sense of self attacked and judged my whole life, so I get exactly what you mean by needing outside help to build that up. There's research showing that we need outside validation and acceptance and belonging to develop and improve our sense of self, and everything that comes from that (well being, confidence, motivation, purpose, interpersonal health, etc etc etc). This is ESPECIALLY true in the early years of life, and even more so when we have things consistently chipping away at that. You're on the right path, and you got this.

[@romaneros4583]

My advice is to remember that it took him a while to decide to come out and understand that it may take a while for family & friends to become comfortable with it.

[@Foggydays-b8z]

Well done Archie, just to add a little bit I was so camp and merciless bullied, forever begging my parents to write a sick note so I couldn't do football. Love yourself, eventually I got used to pish taking. Couldn't wait too leave school. Dont forget there are other guys at your school who feel the same. Maybe youve inspired people you never know. ❤Best wishes❤

[@danielhelton4814]

Wait??!? When did the personalised closing soundtrack start?? I’ve never heard the singer say “happy healthy homo” until this episode 😮 I love it 🥰 🎉

[@Kenneth-p6j]

Coming out is sometimes a process and takes time and not easy. Especially the people around you if they support you its easier for the person.

[@kathleenchild]

Also, high school isn’t forever and university will be a completely experience. Good advice from Keegan and Joel.

[@Foggydays-b8z]

Well done Archie massive fist bump. Sadly there are always people who gossip and talk behind others backs if it wasnt you it would someone else. Dont forget you've gained a few admirers as well. I grew up pretty much like you, constant gossip and bullying. Finally leaving school was a massive relief. I went to college after with much more mature people who accepted me There will always be that very small minority who say things like 'backs to the wall lads'bxm bandit etc I ignore them or tell them to grow up. Best wishes from the UK❤

[@Kenneth-p6j]

LOVE and ACCEPT yourself❤❤❤!

[@Dragonmoon1598]

Berené Brown said one way to help resolve conflict is, "The story that I'm telling myself . . ." It is very easy to get in our own heads and assume others' intentions. Like you two said, communicate and express what you're feeling with family and friends. And, as best you can, wait for it to blow over at school. People usually move one eventually. And while two years seems like forever. It will be over before you know it. Coming from someone who hasn't been sixteen for 23 years. You're 16 and still figuring yourself out. While being out adds another layer onto it. But, we are all awkward at 16, 18, 25, 30 . . . Ya, know I don't think we ever actually stop being awkward. We just find our people and feel normal. Sounds like you've done that. Now, there's just some adjusting to your new normal. Best of luck.😁

[@justinh8417]

i think once you come out being gay can become your identity to others and even to yourself in a way & it can be hard to find your balance in your own self-definition. I struggled because I was outed so I hadn't had the time to even realize my own view of myself because I was so panicked trying to control other people's view of me.

[@mikiewifnoe360]

Keegan, stop saying you are not being condescending. No one would think that you are. This young man is feeling awkward and self-conscious. Dude, you are 16; this is the standard operating procedure for your age group. The difference is you can identify the reason for this feeling. Being 16 is a tough time, and even with these feelings at your age, they are magnified to overwhelming proportions. Often, we think people are saying things that they aren't. Thoughts and talk are fleeting. Being the center of attention for those moments can be difficult, but you can embrace it. If you are sure folks are talking about you, give a slight smile and a quick wave. This will signal that you are aware but in a non-threatening way. Or this might lead to a new friend. You can only show displeasure if they directly aggressively approach you. Attention is only bad if the intent is bad. So, if you are being pointed out as the gay kid, this is not bad since being gay is not bad; accept yourself as you are and only change the things that you want to change. Development takes time. Take your time and enjoy. When I ever had to deal with unwanted feelings or attention, I always told myself, this too will pass. It may be a cliche, but if you believe it, it works.

[@richardbuckwalter8571]

Archie, I admire your courage at coming out at 16, especially with going to a Christian school as you stated!! All the best to you as you continue to find your way! ❤😊

[@InimicalWit]

7:31 High school never ends lol 💙💙💙

[@chrisk5651]

Great advice!! I wish I had you guys when I was 16 or 26 or 36!

[@chrisk5651]

I’m glad that I have you guys now!!! Thanks!

[@thomaspetersen4977]

❤❤❤❤ LOOOOOOVE you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@mingkee27]

I do not actually come out, but I have a buddy for 18 years and counting. Follow your feelings

[@scottyh8494]

He’s parents should not ever say to a 16 year old boy I don’t care that you’re gay. A 16 year old boy needs support and love and yes reassurance. Hang in there. You will get through it. Try and find some other gay friends in your area that will also help to support you. All the best..,

[@evelynmartinez7353]

People always tock ba think you see by your self love by you sefl not with other people think or tock

[@dennis-qu7bs]

Is it my imagination, or is Joel starting to unconsciously adopt Keegans accent and vice-versa?