HELP! I'm gay but I HATE Pride Month and don't think it's necessary!

[@happyhealthyhomo]

Hi everyone, we're aware of the sound issues on these Helpful Homo segments, we're trying to fix it, so please bear with us!

[@simongoodwin5253]

I've never experienced Pride. The idea of being surrounded by so many Gay people scares me to Hell! I am a Gay man, fast approaching 60 years old. I have been OUT since I was 17, to my parents when I was 19. My parents, although deeply religious are so supportive and fight my concerns within their Church (C of E). All of my family on both sides, don't care about my sexuality. I am just a son, a nephew, an Uncle, a God-Father....a Human.

[@SpikeyMikey341]

Pride has become an overlong corporate activist love fest. I completely sympathise with the writer.

[@carlhenderson9483]

Thank you from C downuner, my letter has been totally misread and very disappointed with the boys and others comments, i am a proud gay man been with my partner for 32 years, we have lived all over the world and are totally open all the time, i do feel LGBT has become something very different and was not happ with the boys reaction

[@marieap6945]

@@carlhenderson9483 I didn't understand what they were saying the same way you did. From my understanding, their stance is that Pride month is still needed for a lot of people, who struggle with shame, persecution, exclusion. And you don't have to subscribe to this capitalist and gross way of celebrating this month and choose to make it your own. For example, educating people, supporting those who need it, and reclaiming what this month should be for according to your personal values.

[@geezercreekfarmskent792]

I'm an sixty eight year old gay man and have never been to a pride event. There were a few years I was going to go with friends that went every year but it just didn't work out. I'm definitely interested in just as guy as event goers. i was with my partner for 35+ plus years until he passed away from complications of Lewy Body Dementia. I love watching you guys I'm like a proud grandpa. Keep up the good work.

[@frederics7086]

I feel the same about Pride month. Not interested. Not for me. Not overly mad about it but I do get a little annoyed about sometimes. What is crazy is that you guys talk about the issue in such a respectful and eye opening manner. And why is it that I feel you are sitting across from me having a conversation with me? I only discovered you yesterday and I am hooked. On a side note, Keegan, I love your accent.

[@thomasmooreCQ]

I agree there's any number of ways to express how you are as a person. People are multifaceted and they may feel some parts are less important than others. Understanding and acceptance are important. If there's injustice somewhere, there's justice no where.

[@phillipholtzman3888]

In my community in Central Florida, Pride is sponsored by companies like Northrup Grumman, Collins Aerospace, and L3Harris. Those companies have non-discrimination policies that include "sexual orientation". Pride is about putting faces to the LGBT+ community, allies, and supporters. It has grown very quickly since 2017 and continues to grow.

[@Mykelaugustinereed1963]

This is heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking! I thought I recognized the name so I read Col. Edward Thomas Ryan’s obituary in today’s Times Union. Edward was a Fireman, a member of St. John's Church, a Vietnam Veteran, a retired Colonel and was awarded many medals including one for his service on 9/11. Now the heartbreaking part! Directly from his obituary. “Edward wanted to share the following: "I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life. I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I'll be buried next to Paul. I'm sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace." This man served his country, worshipped in a church, was a fireman who protected his neighbors and yet he was afraid to come out because he was afraid of being judged……think about that… This is why we celebrate Gay PRIDE so visibly, because maybe one day everyone will be able to live their life not being afraid of what others think or say… Rest in peace Edward and I pray that your Paul is there to help you celebrate PRIDE in heaven… When we raise our Pride flag this year we will light two special candles, one for you Ed and one for Paul. Share this with the next person that asks you "Why does there have to be a Pride Month.." - This is a heartbreaking example of a Hero who served his Country, his Community, and his Family - and still didn't feel that he could be who he was in public. RIP and Thank you for your service Col. Ryan.

[@carlhenderson9483]

My letter has been misinterpreted, by what I actually meant

[@jeffwatkins352]

As a 72 year old gay man, this year's Pride passed me by as if it hadn't existed. Well, except for seeing videos like this on KZbin. BTW yours is the best of those I've seen. You're so right. Bickering over the "correct" way to celebrate Pride just plays into our haters. Joining hands is the path to happiness.

[@bishbosh4815]

I really appreciate the first guy, being very honest about himself and pride month

[@graphiquejack]

I feel there’s some internalized homophobia he’s dealing with, but I also agree that if he feels uncomfortable about something, he should handle it maturely instead of freaking out and having this opinion that Pride doesn’t matter. That’s his opinion. For many others in the community, it’s vital… Pride has given us the rights and privileges we have today. If you feel safe at work and not worried you’re going to get fired because of your sexuality, thank Pride for that, and all the QUEER activists that came before you. Our community is diverse. There are still people struggling with homophobia and transphobia. If a workplace is providing a positive message about the community, that’s a good thing. There are probably elder residents who are queer and might feel safer to be themselves in an affirming space. There are probably more queer staff than just this one person. Maybe for them, this representation and supportive environment is really impactful for them. If it’s not for you, fine, but why crap on everyone else’s pride and say it’s no longer relevant. Yes, educate others that not every gay man is suddenly going to wear drag for a month, but this guy needs to educate himself that just because he feels safe to be himself and doesn’t need Pride month, doesn’t mean there aren’t others who do. This sounds selfish and petty, honestly… and is coming from a place of privilege.

[@bishbosh4815]

@graphiquejack we all have different experiences as "queer" people, I wish people would stop throwing the term "internalised homophobia" around for anyone that is somewhat critical of the LGBTQ community and how they identify with it, not every gay/bi person needs to be a loud a proud LGBTQ activist to express their identity and sexuality, like they have said before

[@bishbosh4815]

@graphiquejack but yes there is a like "it doesn't matter to me so it shouldn't matter to other people" mantra to it

[@carlhenderson9483]

My letter has been so misread, i am a out and proud man been with my partner for 32 years and we are very out and proud but not just for 1 month but i do feel LGBT has lost its way@!!!

[@hugoboss5895]

I hear you brother it’s been turned in another tacky Christmas or something her in the uk😂

[@Minorheadlines]

I always remember a quote from a the stonewall riot -- "the cops don't ask you if you are a lesbian, transgender or in drag when they push you to the floor"

[@ajaxon319pldunbar]

Keegan and HRH Prince Joel, this was a wonderful discussion, which I feel you handled quite adroitly. I have to admit that my favorite part was at the very beginning with Keegan demonstrating how he'd give me, a best mate with a problem sat beside him, a "compassionate arm around the shoulder". He hugged HRH Prince Joel who was sat there in my stead. I loved how HRH Prince Joel leaned into Keegan's hug with closed eyes and a satisfied smile. Very endearing. It made me realize that I want and could happily cherish a hug-giving boyfriend. I've just got to exorcise my bad emotional juju, then I'm using a Harry Potter command, "Accio Boyfriend!" to summon my hugging man to me. ❤

[@therealtwiggyleaf]

We are all humans. We all have a right to exist and love who we want to love. It is just that some people (in the generally "right wing" majority) have a tendency to react against this. It is for that reason that PRIDE is important, even if one doesn't personally embrace it oneself. 😎❤👍

[@corgiowner436]

For me part of “gay pride” is just being honest about who you are with neighbors, co-workers etc. and letting them form their own opinions. I live in a family neighborhood and never have any issues. On the other hand main stream media tends to emphasize the more outrageous aspects of the gay community during pride events which just reenforces stereotypes.

[@bearbk3]

💕💕💕💕💕💕 Very well said especially about the media. Not just the main stream but especially the far right wing media here in the US.

[@carlhenderson9483]

My letterhas been misinterpreted as i am so very open been with my partner for 32 years and everybody knows about us

[@joemalick]

This was a very interesting one, cause I totally agree with you, as long as gay people are being persecuted, we need a Pride Month to highlight what’s happening in the world, and also celebrate our existence and the freedoms we do have. ❤

[@Kenneth-p6j]

Im happy these two guys are a couple and wish them a happy lasting relationship. ❤❤

[@pbaker50]

I started writing an epistle, but that is too lengthy. Sometimes mimicking celebrations happening in the community is comforting to any patient in a non-verbal way. It reminds they -"it's that time of year again." without words.

[@happymaskedguy1943]

I’m a straight and disabled CIS guy, and I absolutely support pride month. The LGBTQ+ community is oppressed all over the world, often with extremely serious violence and hatred. Pride is an opportunity for LGBTQ+ people to stand out and stake their claim on the world, to declare themselves instead of hiding. And it gives allies like myself the chance to let that community know that there are many who stand with them.

[@Apollo_Blaze]

It can be very frustrating and even angering when some straight people, and even some gay people, make automatic assumptions about somebody's life just because they happen to be gay or lesbian. Some of them think it's "one size fits all." It is decidedly not.

[@TheRedcat14]

While there are people like Donald Trump in positions of power, pride is 100% necessary.

[@1986Dams]

Can I just point out: elderly people in care homes can also be LGBTQ+.

[@confounded_feline]

I completely resonate with the impact it has for the baby gays out there and my feelings about it I agree, doesn't mean many many other people don't need this, I wouldn't try to take that away from anyone. Pride always used to feel like Christmas for me but better. I didn't miss a year from a teen for a decade. For me that was 2007-2017 or so. I can't infer the full extent of the writers sentiments but I know myself that I feel disenchanted by it. It feels different and to some extent I know that's because I'm older but I am also dead sure that parts of the whole affair have changed. Even while I was jubilant about it, I always felt like a guy who was just gay, it was never a large part of my identity so I don't think that's an important distinction for me at least for why it's changed. I'm not advocated for it to end or to be rolled back. I think I feel more disconnected from my community which I feel very sad about. I feel less able to express myself despite being more confident now as an older adult in all areas of my day to day life because there is a greater impetus for conformity around a certain idea and expression of gayness or queerness under which you can't speak about it with many people as an open conversation without being unfairly maligned for having small deviations in opinions from the community at large and that being over-extrapolated into toxic aspersions or ugly conversations - note on the conformity, I'm disengaged from social media aside from KZbin really if you want to count that, this is how I've found my real life experiences slowly change over time. I've said a lot, I don't know how well I've been able to communicate my feelings but maybe somebody will get it. I guess one side note someone else mentioned the corporatisation of Pride. While this was cool to see initially it just smacks so insincere to me and that really sticks in my throat as it feels like a display of false corporate pageantry.

[@carlhenderson9483]

Thank you,i feel you understood my letter,im completely 100% have been with my partner for 32 years and feel the boys have totally misjudged my letter, c from downunder

[@thomasmooreCQ]

I get the word queer was used as an insult but I don't mind it. For me it means something or someone who's different. I do wonder if we should replace the letters and call ourselves the queer community. I do feel there are straight people who feel ostracized because there's something different about them. No one completely fits into any stereotype.

[@danbrowne7796]

How about absolutely not

[@Kenneth-p6j]

Usually when your younger you appreciate gay pride month but as you get older its not as appealing. Normal.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Great quandary! It seems like that workplace maybe needs your voice a bit more, if they are expecting something different from you. And maybe speaking up, about how you experience being gay differently than their perception, is just the kinda sharing they need in order to have a fuller picture of the spectrum. I hope you're able to find ways to let them know your level of comfort with their pressure, while still allowing what others find helpful to themselves. Side note, I totally get feeling like time and energy spent trying to educate folks who are in stages of dementia or otherwise compromised mental states needs addressed, not just from a business perspective, but from a client/patient needs one as well. It's not just a waste, it may be contributing to decline depending on what kinda activities and expectations they have for the residents there.

[@TwanWu]

I think you guys hit the nail on the head when you say this person misdirected his frustration. First of all, Pride Month didn’t happen just because of gay men. It actually started with a riot by even more marginalized people in the LGBTQ community (trans people, drag queens). Therefore it’s an event to celebrate everyone. Even when he as a gay man think it’s unnecessary, there are a lot of LGBTQ people in the world that still need support and protection. Literally just yesterday an intersex female athlete at the Olympic was hated all over the internet because people saw her as a man, so we still have a long way to go. Secondly, Pride itself is not something that occurs between you and your straight co-workers. It’s a feeling (proud) that you have toward yourself. Whatever his co-workers say or do is not related to the essence of pride month. Rather it is a time when you can feel grateful, when you can look back at the long history of LGBTQ people who survived and fought valiantly against discrimination, bigotry, and for a time a literal deadly pandemic (HIV AIDS), so that we in the 21st century can be fairly safe, accepted and comfortable. He said being gay is just a part of who he is, not what defined him, not realizing that without the very things that Pride month represents, he wouldn’t even able to say that and be accepted today.

[@zippol49]

I'm heterosexual but I believe the Jesus dynasty, is "Rome's LGBTQ " am I wrong for believing this???? I don't know if I can believe it another way.

[@rainmanjr2007]

Joel is so damned cute.

[@carlhenderson9483]

This is C of downunder, I will send a email as I think you've totally misread my letter and thoughts but you are entitled to your opinion

[@SashaRicky]

He's worrying too much about what other people do and say. It really has nothing to do with him what other people do in celebration - despite being gay himself. If he doesn't like talking about being gay? Don't talk or engage in conversations about it. Don't like pride month? Don't engage. Simple. I'm a carer in a nursing home for old people, and quite a few of our old residents are actually queer and have same sex partners that visit. It's for the residents as well as the workers, etc. - also said with love and not to sound harsh.

[@aaronlevitz4984]

If the guy doesn't want to participate in PRIDE month, then he shouldn't, while letting everyone else celebrate it. Where I live in America, the PRIDE celebration is funded in part by corporations, like Walmart, who use their tax right offs to fund politicians who want to take my rights away. The PRIDE organizers claim that the money is raised by the employees, which it is through a trust controlled by Walmart, who gets all the tax credits, and that's their justification for accepting the money. Since I don't condone that tactic and practice, I don't participate; however, I would never try to deprive others of going or celebrating PRIDE. Again, the guy can make the personal choice to ignore PRIDE month, but it's frankly none of his concern if others want to.

[@Kenneth-p6j]

If you hate pride month and your gay than TOUGH!!! The rest of us gay appreciate gay pride as it affirms our loving who we are as gay men. 🎉🎉🎉