HELP! I HATE MY CHILD (What to do if you dislike your child)

Feeling hatred toward your child is a symptom of a different problem. This is a controversial and taboo topic, but it's not that uncommon for parents to sometimes feel disgusted and think or say "Go away!" "Leave me alone." "I don't like you." "I don't want you." "I don't love you." "I hate you!" towards their kids. So what's causing that very uncomfortable sensation and feeling?
Don't stay stuck with the feeling that there's something wrong with you or something wrong with your child - let's break this down:
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0:00 What if I hate my child?
1) This is normal. But even though it's normal, there are things we can do about it.
2) It passes... change is ______
3) Your child might be going through a hard time right now
4) YOU might be going through a hard time right now
5) You hate their behaviors (or the way they make you ______), not them
6) You can do something about it! Take a ______ if you can
7) Coach yourself: Soften your ______ language - envision being loving
8) Inhibit yourself - imagine you were being ______
9) Imagine it’s your last day on ______
10) Invision your ______ moments with your child
11) List out the things that are ______ about your child
12) Reframe their ______ traits
13) Engage in ______ - bonding behaviors
14) Remember that love is sometimes a choice - ______ it till you make it
15) Use ______ and remember you’re not always a picnic yourself!
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Watch this next:
ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR PARENTS ( • Anger Management Tips ... )
#parentingjunkie #parenting #loveparenting

[@jeaniedelaney4711]

“I regret this whole thing.” Pretty much sums up my feeling this morning. I love my child deep down, but on the surface right now, I’m so frustrated with his behavior I don’t even know what to do.

[@danielwilliam4306]

males, horrid

[@bluebird9825]

This helped me through my "I can't stand my child" moment. Thank you. I'll take any help I can get!

[@Lili-xc3zy]

I hate myself for having a child, and now more than ever that she is a grown up and blames me for everything bad that happens to her.

[@jennb7321]

I hate my child. Im always tired and i look at him and think that his father spends no sleepless nights to help raise him. I wish I never had this kid and would like to rehome him. Working and caring for a child is too much. Plus, my child is an asshole. I dont think im post partum or anything. I sit and stare at times traumatized by all i have to do repeatedly and I have had to resort to spanking to make him listen. I would rather put him up for adoption than lose my mind and health over this.

[@billyjean7169]

Same. I get no support at all from anyone despite telling everyone I'm falling apart

[@maimorgan22]

We are on the same boat.

[@sur3089]

Why have them in the first place

[@sur3089]

How old is ur child

[@onlycows726]

so your child's in the wrong for having trashy parents? girl bye you're a total failure and the father is nothing but a lazy deadbeat, STOP SPREADING YOUR LEGS IF YOU DON'T WANT KIDS. Sounds like the mother's the asshole, if your husband isn't doing anything to help then make him, you both made him now do the job you cowards

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

I’m just burned out, and I’m with them 24/7, so that’s part of where my feelings come from. I need to get away from them once in a while! I mean really- who can be with anyone constantly and not feel this way sometimes??

[@soulconnections88]

I'm going through the same thing. I have no help.

[@juditcsefalvai2143]

Same here…lots of love and stay strong❤

[@LetThereBeLoveLight]

Right ❤you hit it I can’t stand my 25 yo my 24 yo and my 22 year old boys 😢and my daughter ran away to do drugs and have sex behind my back and her slow meat head dad is ignorant and allows this I called CPS and my lawyers and cops and they did nothing 😢

[@__rm307]

Why did you all have kids then? What did you think was going to happen? I chose not to have kids bc I knew I’d get overwhelmed caring for others 24/7. Is it just the societal pressure or the romantic idea of it that led you to do it?

[@rtyson9110]

Exactly!

[@2snipe1]

Ah so the main points I gathered from this are 1) Do not overgeneralize your hatred or disgust towards your children, specify it toward their behavior, phase, or life condition. 2) Develop a personal inventory of all the golden moments your child has 3) coach yourself as if this were someone else's child. 4) Physical Touch and eye contact Great points!

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

My child won’t let me touch him much. He has never been a touchy-feely kid, which is fine. But I love to hug my kids, so that makes it hard and makes me feel a little more distant from him.

[@elizviy]

@@kristinyaekelnegley3978 It's funny how we made them but they can be so completely different from us. I am a very quiet, laid back person. I do not like to be touched much. I'm easily overstimulated. my 6 year talks INCESSANTLY and always needs physical validation. We tend to be at odds a lot and I'm often consumed with guilt because she lacks confidence and independence.

[@EclecticallyEccentric]

I don't know that #1 is always good advice. As a neurodivergent person, parents who say they love their child but hate their autism, ADHD, etc. don't understand that it's an integral part of who they are. Including the positives. Just like with kids showing signs of mental illness, this can be used as a deflection to avoid taking a look at their own parenting being part of the problem.

[@snowps1]

​​@@kristinyaekelnegley3978 I'm in the same boat. I want to hug my kids all day long, but my daughter pushes me away most of the time. It's frustrating and it makes my heart hurt. I feel like I just can't connect or get close to her.

[@jonigarciajg]

I'm a mom of 4 and a mental health clinician. I am so thankful that you have put this video out. I love your approach to parenting topics in general. Parents need compassion and non-judgement approaches. Often parenting experts, or other professionals that work with children lack this approach. Also, want to shout out to parents that were brave enough to write these letters!

[@fashionglobally.2075]

Hey but listen to me nowadays parents take advantage of being parents my mother is very evil women she is always jealous of me and she talks all dirty things with me she has never given me love and never have given me compassion and have always been very arrogant and insulting towards me

[@litzyvalderrama]

@@fashionglobally.2075 Sounds like my mom🤔

[@fashionglobally.2075]

@@litzyvalderrama so how you feel when your mom is around you ?????

[@litzyvalderrama]

@@fashionglobally.2075 Not at peace💖

[@jacoyia2011]

I'm a single mom of three kids under 6 and I feel like this sometimes. I work so hard for them but they don't really care, behave, or listen to me. I don't have no support or help and they don't give me a break or think twice about anything. It makes me feel how you explained in this video.

[@perryh.5306]

If I was your son, I would completely adore and worship you....I'd completely obey your every word and I never talk back or argue with you!

[@jacoyia2011]

@@perryh.5306 awe thanks 🥰

[@averybooher5969]

Haha maybe because their children under six!

[@airiannadelaney9272]

Me too. Two kids. A boy and a girl. They do everything together, disclude and ignore me and to top it all off make messes and scream in my face when they don't get what they want What do we do?? Then there are cycles where it is just too much.. like a loop. I know part of it is their ptsd but then that triggers my ptsd too. I think ebb and flow is normal and try to grandiose the wonderful times we have with our kids. ( I will too) because we so love them that we do everything for them and would do anything for them. Thank You for this Video!

[@ParentingforConnection]

Stay strong Jocoyia! Yes it's tough right now and it will get better. Our kids are so needy when they are the ages yours are and as they grow and develop, it will get easier. Many of the behaviors you are seeing now are temporary. Just take it one day at a time, take care of your own mental and physical health and ask for help along the way. you've got this!!!

[@kashanylymon931]

We all know that ''hate" is a bad word that people don't like ,but It's a feeling. It's normal to have feelings .

[@santanapage5044]

Children!!! It's miserable

[@onlycows726]

parents!!!! they blame the consequences of their actions on their children

[@bulut7511]

I think you were born as an adult

[@francesanchetasongwriter215]

Thank you so much for this and keeping it real. I'm the mother of a special needs child and daily life can be challenging but a blessing at the same time. Children definitely bring about our triggers and make us wonder whether we're going about things in the right way. I loved all of your helpful tips in this video. I'll definitely share with my fellow special needs parent friends. Thank you again for all you do to help parents raise their children more consciously, God bless! :)

[@ParentingforConnection]

I love how much Avital, talks about subjects like this that are taboo. Frances, you are a warrior mama parenting a special needs child and seeing the blessings along the way! YOU are such a blessing to your child!

[@francesanchetasongwriter215]

Thank you so much Robbin for the validation and supportive words, sending blessings! 😊

[@ParentingforConnection]

@@francesanchetasongwriter215 ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@rosem9566]

I was going insane in my head around this last night that I couldn't sleep I'm so grateful I come across this 😢thank you

[@aiya359]

I love your positive content about what parenting should ideally look like, that’s why I subscribed to you. But this kind of content here, talking about the taboos, and doing so in a way that makes so much sense and is so helpful… honestly by this point I feel I would trust you with my life :D Mad respect!!

[@ailin82]

Thank you for this video Avital! I‘m in tears as you spoke to directly to my heart. I really needed exactly this content and your pieces of advice.

[@caitlinbrown5792]

This was amazing. Thank you so so so much. Most helpful tip :Coach yourself/Use Humour/Imagine its someone else's child

[@faizaelaz2978]

This was amazing, thank you so much for talking about this vulnerable and taboo subject. Thank you for helping us all with bo judgement and actually helpful and constructive advice 💕💕✨✨

[@janreyneke1522]

Thanks so much for this - I really needed it and found it very helpful.

[@RaschhoferC]

Thank you so much for this, even though I am really ashamed of even watching a video with this title. Only one of your topics resonated with me, but this one opened my eyes to help me see a vision of how i could solve my problem.

[@Katie-rx8ql]

I'm really feeling bad towards my son at the moment. His behaviour is disgusting and he is only 3. He doesn't listen!!! the more I tell him to stop doing something, the more he does it. I ask him nicely and it falls on deaf ears. He pushes me to scream and shout and I just don't want to be around him at the moment, as he puts me in a bad mood really badly. He pushes my buttons and he knows it

[@NellyN159]

I feel you ,I understand exactly what you are going through. I'm in similar situation, my child is my biggest trigger. Every time I'm trying to do something good for myself like healing work, he literally destroys all of that ,like a catastrophe.

[@Nikki-ks6wi]

I know it sounds crazy but give him a hug and look at him and say you don’t (ex throw that toy) if you don’t again you have a timeout. Super nanny is really helpful to watch as well.

[@randyrandall2148]

Great advice that doesn't speak to me at all. I am a father with 3 boys-7 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old. The baby has a great disposition and my 5 year old is the sweetest child. By contrast, my 7 year is evil. My wife and I have tried and tried and tried. But ever since he was a baby he was incredibly difficult. His behavior manifests in many negative ways. He is incredibly selfish, he likes to beat up his little brothers, he steals, he has no friends (they don't want to put up with his behavior), etc. The list goes on and on. He is a very beautiful boy and very loving toward us which is totally confusing. My wife argued with me for years but even now, finally, she admits that he is just wrong. We've seen doctors over the years and he was just diagnosed with ADHD. Counseling doesn't seem to help. And his ADHD only explains part of it. Even though it's terrible to say, I'm ready to give up on him. I don't want to be around him. Right now it's 3:00 am and I can't sleep because my stomach is churning with feelings of anger, frustration and disappointment. At this point, I feel like the only way for me to stay sane is to distance myself from him and spend my positive energy on my other boys. To do otherwise is causing me to hate the 7 year old more and more. It's also ruining my health. I really don't know what else to say or do because the truth is that I hate him.

[@mamasgotmoxy2914]

You are not alone. I am feeling this way about my child too. It's hard and I love him but I can't wait for him to grow up. Today is his 8th birthday. I cancelled his party due to his disrespectful behavior. I'm ready to send him to live with his dad.

[@danika9411]

I understand that this is a tough situation to be in. But I think it's not hopeless yet. If he has ADHD and doesn't understand social interactions, he might also have autism. Maybe you could have him checked for that. There is also neurofeedback you could try out. In my homecountry it's used as part of occupational therapy to treat ADHD and it shows good results with helping f.e. with executive dysfunction and emotional regulation. If he doesn't have autism, chances are high he has SPD-sensory processing disorder. Which means his senses are hyper or hyposensetive, sometimes both. He is probably very overstimulated by sensory input and can't regulate it. That he is better at home, but not somewhere else points towards it. For spd you also use occupational therapy. Basically he has too much sensory input f.e. from sound which floods his nervoussytem. He can't regulate that, because he needs much more training for regulation than a neurotypical child. If the brain can't regulate it, it causes stress, which builds up. Worst case scenario he is in fight or flight, because his sympatgetic nervoussytem jumps on from all the stress and then he basically lives in fight or flight until he has the chance to regulate all the sensory input. While being in that state, he is unable to properly act or show compassion towards others, because he is in a sympathetic state and his stresslevel is too high. The combination of ADHD and SPD is very common. Unfortunately these children often develop PTSD from a young age as well. Please have him checked for SPD. If he knows what's going on and you as well and he can get rest from sensory input it will change the world for your family. Trust me, I have seen changes for the better in such cases.

[@user-vp7kn3js4x]

What the fuck is wrong you 'people'?

[@shaywalters429]

Thank you very much. This is so helpful. I love you ♥

[@claytonrachelsaunderson2489]

This was wonderful! ❤ thank you.

[@user-xz6yf8ki8l]

My child is autistic. He’s abusive to me verbally/physically. No amount of meds or therapy help. I feel burdened, trapped, and even when I take breaks, it doesn’t matter.

[@brunapostalandersson5597]

@@user-xz6yf8ki8l I'd like to talk to you cause I was so judged on my response and my situation is the SAME

[@brunapostalandersson5597]

Being a mother sucks, I hate my child. I just want to disappear, I miss my own time, she drains my energy like a vampire and I feel like leaving this world often. Therapy doesn't help at all.

[@Bee-jo1zu]

You definitely deserve a break. I wish you the best. But I hope you stick around. For your kid but more so for yourself. You will make it to the other side, I believe in you.

[@kodymeyers9126]

Why you made a child then. ? You didnt know that it takes your life away?

[@elizviy]

I have felt like this in the past with my older toddler daughter. It passed, I had two more boys. Some days are very rough like today. I hope it is a fleeting moments (or moments) for you too. Your feeling are valid. Parenting is so fucking hard and the moms get all the blame, guilt, and difficulty.

[@jazzy07891]

@@kodymeyers9126 well you keep going by living a perfect life and leave the video

[@jazzy07891]

You need a break honey. I understand. You can put your child up for adoption. There are individuals who would love to parent your child.

[@jmichelleART]

My four kids deserve better, im not capable of being who they need. Their father passed last year and im ready to follow him.

[@brianamarie1859]

This is such an AMAZING video! Thank you so much for posting this!! Gonna listen to it every day til it’s ingrained in my brain 😂

[@georgialees9276]

Thank you for your videos! Found them so helpful

[@RIM0622ricothecat]

I resonate with you. Thank you 🙏 I am a widow, mom to a 12 & almost 15 year old and my plate is FULL all the time. I consider I do my “job” well but am constantly looking to be smarter … better. You are helping me. Thank you 🙏 again.

[@nicolecervantes9379]

I found this video because I literally typed out "I hate my children" on the search bar. Thank you for your advise and giving me a mindset change. Coming from a background in caring for other children, I found that tip on "pretending you are carrying for someone else's child" as something I can implement immediately. Thank you

[@LetThereBeLoveLight]

Same

[@irishredjackson9122]

Same ❤

[@niviamaeva]

I love/hate my daughter 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i cannot stand her

[@jaydakhaled8601]

Unfortunately a lot of us "Moms", don't have even a chance to take a break

[@elizviy]

lol exactly. That's the problem. Young kids just have no idea about boundaries. I had to hide in a room and block the door just to type this. They beat down the door and are ganging up on me running over my feet with toys.

[@Itisflo]

I agree idont have time tofkn work on myself. I'm going insane man

[@altrezbell2967]

Should have thought twice before having a child. It’s your responsibility, not anyone else’s.

[@onlycows726]

@@elizviy maybe you should teach them these boundaries? sometimes yelling and time out isn't enough, if they keep actively doing it despite you telling them not to you might have to spank them. It's just weird to me you think they should magically know this, don't hide in a room and let them hit the door, stand your ground as a parent and educate them

[@elizviy]

@@onlycows726 I do a combo of gentle parenting but spank as needed. At times I get incredibly overwhelmed & overstimulated (especially by all the noise) and have to step aside to calm down so I don’t yell at my kids. For the most part yelling is really ineffective and actually harmful.

[@laurali2479]

I love this video. My mom hated my guts until the day she retired. Then she was suddenly loving. Now I understand she was overwhelmed. But I have taken so much damage from being hated all my life.

[@carolgage4569]

My mom was the same. I am having a hard time to forgive her or love her back.

[@onlycows726]

@@carolgage4569 just remember whether you forgive her or not is up to you, she made the conscious choice to have a child and it isn't your fault she underestimated the duties of a parent

[@Nikki-ks6wi]

I can put that stress in the proper box…y frustration is not because of my child. Great tips! I don’t hate my blessing of a daughter i feel like I hate that I can’t be what she needs

[@elizviy]

I'm here because I was putting the baby to sleep and asked the 6 year old to help the 2 year old with potty while I did so (which of course is unrealistic but I had no choice because I have no other help). Then the 2 year old jumped on the bed and yelled and woke the baby up of course. He would not go back to sleep. This caused me to explode with anger and yell at my children, feeling robbed of the only long stretch of time when my hands are normally free and I get self care time. They are always making huge messes and they are ALWAYS loud. I get very overstimulated with the constant noise, especially the 6 year old which I suspect is hyperactive. Even now as I'm hiding in a room and typing away desperately with the door blockaded they are banging at the door. I feel trapped in a hell, but I know it's all temporary. I'm just burnt out. And the 2 year old just knocked the blockade down, and ran up to me with a vacuum cleaner toy saying "I GOTCHU" bashing my toenail in with the damn thing. And my 6 year old, who I BEG all the time to recognize when I'm getting overstimulated and respect my boundaries when I need space has brought the baby OUT of the play room into the hall right next to me and is loudly coaxing him to crawl down the hall. I told her for the 100th time she is now allowed to pick him up and that I need alone time and now she is sobbing and saying I'm so mean, rude, etc. I just want to escape. I'm tired of being a village of one. But I love them and it will all pass. Keep strong everyone.

[@justjessica7744]

Wow. This is INCREDIBLY awesome!! I am a postpartum mother. 2 & 4 year old kids, and it’s so hard. This is amazing. Thank you….❤️

[@ParentingforConnection]

I've been there too. big hugs. It will get better!

[@AG-wb3db]

A good smack from time to time will help.

[@healthyfoodlover1124]

Thank you so much for sharing💗🙏

[@lanel-2904]

So glad I found your channel! I became a first time mom at 45. My daughter is going on 2 in December and lol, I'm feeling so lost. I just finished watching your video on anger. Just these two videos alone have addressed so many of my "shameful" thoughts and feelings and now I feel I have tools to manage and fix my issues. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm looking forward to viewing your other content. Please keep them coming. 🙏

[@__rm307]

Wow you waited until 43 to have kids - and still ended up frustrated with it?

[@soulconnections88]

When it's 1:30am and you are begging them to sleep while you suffer from burn out and post partum depression.

[@HiFamLife]

I hear you so hard!

[@HerbsForUs]

I feel so bad because sometimes when I don't get a break I just stare at my child with a blank face and I feel like that's not good for their mental health. Also when me and her dad argue and she chooses her dad because I look like I'm angry all the time or raging but it's because I'm so overstimulated that I just explode. Even though it is my responsibility to handle my big emotions it's just like between the stress of life and then your child choosing the other parent it feels like so sad. My child is only two. Sometimes when she just wants connection and she's jumping on me and jumping on me and throwing things at me screaming or yelling for me or something it's like hard not to give your child a 😐 look.

[@elizviy]

I'm having problems with overstimulation and anger/yelling too. Adderall helps a lot but not in the early mornings/late afternoons with things are at their most hectic. My husband does not help at all (workaholic, absent). Oh, and I have 3 (8 months, 2, and 6). Your feelings are valid and I hope you find something that helps you.

[@HerbsForUs]

@@elizviy dang you really go through it. I have one child I can't imagine 3 alone. 🙁 Does he work so much to provide? Does he split home chores w you? You didn't have the kids alone it takes 2. So he should help. 💔😔

[@elizviy]

@@HerbsForUs He escapes from any difficulty by working. He earns money, I do the rest. Many would say it's unfair, but just as many would say I'm living the dream (nice car, house, private school, etc.) but at the cost of his absence in our lives. Money does not equal happiness. We all know that but not many truly understand it. I just have to work on myself rather than try and change him. Changing my mentality (practicing mindfulness, positive self talk, etc.) has made a big difference. So have meds and therapy.

[@sonicleaves]

I ignore my toddler too. I don't have the energy to yell so I stop engaging altogether.

[@SolarBabeLLC]

A blank stare is better than abuse so, don’t beat yourself up to bad but also don’t blame her for her emotions because she’s not as cognitively advanced as you and that’s something you have to remember! 🩷🫂

[@nomvulamogotsi9914]

I’m starting to hate my teenage boy, I dislike the person he’s becoming

[@crystaledwards6610]

I understand how you feel. My son is 17 years old. I love him, but I don't like him. He's very inconsiderate for example I would clean his room, which sometimes can take up to two hours, and he would dirty back up like he don't even care. I be trying to have conversations with him and he just shuts me out. When I try to talk to him, he'll hurry up and answer like he wants me to shut up talking to him. He can be very nonchalant and he says things very rudely and when I try to tell him how it hurts my feelings, he acts like I'm the problem. He's always negative. It don't matter how fun or optimistic I be with him, he always have this I don't care attitude. It's taking a toll on my mental health because I don't understand why ge treats me the way he does.

[@user-vp7kn3js4x]

Are you 4 real?

[@georgieippolito9924]

pets are better, smarter, cleaner

[@RWAquariumPages]

I was really upset at my son today and I was searching youtube on videos to help and this one popped up. I love this video and I'm much more calm now, I like the point you mention to Hate the behavior not hate the child. New sub here..keep up the great work!!

[@In_the_moment90]

I feel for the parents going through this. Ive known a few single mothers with men that have abandoned their kids and it just isnt fair to the mother or child. And the mom is sometimes extremely stressed and vice versa with a single father. This is why i choose not to have kids. I know im just not meant to be a parent and i wouldnt wanna blame a child for my actions. I suffer from anxiety and depression and i just know that it would be too much. So ill just be careful and not have any. God bless anyone going through what this lady mentioned. Remember to keep strong. Maybe try and get some therapy (if possible). God bless ❤

[@christinehoffman1825]

Oh boy. Thank you 😊

[@jillpeters4297]

I am just watching this, and it is Thanksgiving Day. Blended family and 2 of my kids are 20 and 22. They are constantly getting mad at each other, say ugly things to each other and having disagreements on what family members they will join for Thanksgiving. Since they got older I have never pressured them or tried to force them to go to step dads family holiday gatherings, I just want everyone happy and at peace. I do not get my feelings hurt, however, when I feel the tension , I also take it in and it puts me in a dark place. I don’t know why I can’t get a grip on myself and navigate through these times more gracefully. And my 22 yr old has my angel granddaughter, single mom, and I also have a 15 yr old along with my older 2 and granddaughter that all live with me. And it’s not a big home. I long for peace and humbleness .

[@ireneeno5621]

I’m already commenting as I just had a very triggering episode of disrespect with my almost 15 year old son…and his father plays the good cop always while I’m always the crazy bad cop…I’m so done with these dynamics

[@mobileprocsr6250]

I’m so happy I found this today

[@AngelaAscheman]

Whoa...I have adopted a sibling group of 5 all under 6. My 4 year old that I've had since he was 6months is extremely difficult. He is active but significantly cognitively disabled. I know it's not his fault but I can't stand him! I've been trying to find a video or anything to help me with this. We have been through two years of trauma therapy and it still hasn't helped me with bonding with him or how to mentally figure out how to make things work with how I feel with him. I choose to love him but I don't like him at all and my body is constantly tense when he is around. I hate feeling this way.

[@JanaMariie]

I pray that it gets better for you and him. I have a friend who deals with a similar situation with one of her own children. I hope time will help as he matures.

[@BandlerChing]

My oldest son causes that in me. It’s a battle in my head and heart to love and care for him so deeply, yet still feeling angry and annoyed with every little thing they do. To the point that you really do feel like you can’t stand them. And admitting that hurts. Just know you’re not alone, and it is not because he is adopted. Bio moms struggle with the exact same feelings. I hope things get better for you and your babies. Keep truckin mama, it will be worth it!

[@Vale-kg3vd]

Most brilliant channel, thank you

[@mcr987]

Thank you I really appreciate this video. I have a teenager a 15-year-old girl who has challenged me since she turned 12… it was almost as if somebody stole my girl replaced her with this whole different person almost like I didn’t recognize this girl she had a whole different attitude and it wasn’t pleasant. Anyways I’ve been through a lot with her.. drama with friends, School social media… fighting at school.. boys. Ugh I subscribe to your channel but I see that it’s geared more towards babies and toddlers do you see yourself doing any more videos on teenagers and parenting teenagers?? We need your help!! 😔

[@carathorsven3326]

You should check out "live on purpose TV" here on KZbin. Lots of tips with teens

[@elizviy]

My parents said this about ME as a child. From my perspective, we were always at odds because I felt they were against everything I wanted. I went through an "emo phase". I was all about the style- piercings, colored hair, wacky/dark clothing. I wanted to go to concerts and date boys. I do wish my parents had not been so strict. They also mocked me and really exaggerated how terrible, dark, depressing, and disgusting they found my interests to be. I don't think I would have rebelled so much and turned to sex and drugs as a young teen. I grew out of it of course and had to make a conscious choice to include my parents in my adult life after disliking them for many years. You can disapprove of your children and their choices, but be careful with the words you use, and HOW you say them , HOW you look at them . Your teen is way more perceptive to your feelings than you think. When my parents make jokes now about how I changed into a monster at 13, I feel nothing but resentment bubbling up. I was a good, valid, creative young girl finding myself. I know it's hard but at the end of the day no matter how we want to raise, nurture, 'curate' our children they are their own people with distinct personalities, likes, dislikes, desires, dreams, etc. and we need to accept them each day as they are. I wish you and your family the best

[@jonlaidonlie]

props for tackling the hard stuff.

[@josie9583]

Omg I've Def felt this before. I felt like I hated my child but I knew it wasn't hate. Just strongly disliked, at the moment. Thank you for this!!

[@jeannetempest9127]

I have 3 kids small, one is autistic. When I first heard when I was pregnant I cried my eyes out. I was not happy as their father traped me and did without my consent and did not leave me nor he would let me leave. Cutting tubes was denied because I was too young. Evebtually I left their father, but I hate this life as mom, I hate my own kids and I hate that I can't have my best life. I tried to rebuild it, to change it but it would shatter because they were sick, because of them. I have to keep a contact with their father. I lost a chance to meet a man of my dreams, marry and have children from a man I loved or maybe I would not have. I hate that my life has to be around them. Their father wanted them more than me but he is not capable of taking care of them. Where is that heard? I reject my own children. I don't have pictures of me being with a bump. I just feel shame and guilt, regret. I don't know how to fix that but I hate my life that includes these kids.

[@valor101arise]

Have you considered that your thoughts of dream life are not, nor ever could be true, and perhaps the children are a gift and a road to fulfillment you didnt expect? Take a sledge hammer to the delusional dream life they stole from you. Its a lie! It wouldnt have ever been that. Then set before your eyes the Truth. Read the Psalms and find out what God says about these young people He gave you. Forgive, set yourself free and forgive. Bitterness will always ensnare. So dont get in that trap

[@jeannetempest9127]

@@valor101arise nope, I did not want to have kids. I have more problems, burdens that I did not want. I wanted to graduate, get a job, travel and savor a life and maybe marry and just then have a kids from a person I truly love. Instead I was trapped by already married person and found out about it too late. If God wants me to have this life that I hate then no, I won't accept it and I won't forgive. I tried to pray, read a bible, to forgive, nothing changed and I did not feel better, it even got worse. Hate grew stronger.

[@akirawright7951]

Your a selfish sick women

[@dreamsculptor11]

Take some accountability for your actions. By your comments you say you were trapped, not raped against your will. Meaning you willingly were sleeping with a man who you most likely did not know that well, considering he was married. No birth control or protection on your part? You are a product of your bad decisions and now your 3 children have to pay the price. There is no maturity anymore, this is why they preach abstinence, because when you can't handle yourself sexually and with control, this what happens.

[@risthanialatouche586]

It takes 2 to make a kid ...its crazy you had 3... why did you keep the children ? As women we have the power to make a decision when we learn were pregnant. We cant put all the blame on the man.

[@DanielTejnicky]

How about opposite, being rejected by own child. It wanting you to go away, rejecting everything you do?

[@njbkw1514]

they do what they see .. children don't reject or think bad stuff or judge the copy and rest feeling like fear maybe.. u know what think about it then try to ask a doctor pro.. then watch these channels to remind yourself only

[@mairaortega5343]

My 23 month old is definitely going through a change with having a baby sibling. I understand this but it sometimes feels like ok for how long ?! When will this phase stop and it burns you out

[@holywear26]

I’ve been a single mother for 7 years and I have had him next to me everyday since I had him.. I have no village no help and I even have to work a job that I can have him with me.. this has slowly driven me insane and I do hate being a mom.. I hate the stupid little conversations and the crying at bedtime and the I’m hungry every second of the day.. I hardly sleep (which I figured would go away by now) he wakes me in the night and I have insomnia so it kills my sleep.. I want to learn to enjoy it again because I used to not mind having him there but it’s like getting worse.. I want to scream.. I am hoping that gaining knowledge will help me learn to love the process again! Thank you so much for speaking on this subject because people seem to say it’s so easy and it’s all positive which is a fat ass lie.. I hope that with time I’ll get better

[@__rm307]

The “I’m hungry” all the time I bet if your kid craving authentic love and connection. I’m sure they can feel your resentment. Imagine being brought into the world and your own creator (parents) resents your existence.

[@terezaaure3941]

All of these tips help! I too searched “I hate my child” & this popped up.

[@lana4127]

Give them up for adoption

[@Bass.Player]

It's hard not to be judgemental when your 46 year old child to too self centered to recognize any needs I have. I have never asked anything of her and i help her every time she needs something but its a one way street. She will never have to take care of me and she knows that but if I get really ill (very seldom) I don't hear from her and I better not mention it or i get the third degree and excuses for why she did not even text me. It is what it is an i except it...Relationships are a two way street....

[@Sunriseroller]

This helped me soo soo much.

[@charity9660]

Thank you

[@sandycairo9409]

I really need this...become a single mother far from my country doing all by myself after my baby third birthday, now he is seven months and become more difficult to handle.

[@avawindigo3940]

When I’m busy they cry and cry and won’t stop until I pay attention to them and it’s so hard to not hate them but at bed time that’s when I HATE them the most because since they went to visit they have been up at 1 am and it sucks so it’s taking awhile to get them on a schedule again

[@kanezzapierre7241]

I have a 2 year old and I’m taking care of him my self all my stuff always gets fucked up from the kid can’t even get a brake I wish I never had a kid to be honest but I know the system would definitely not be good for him. I know because I’ve been in the system before and it’s a horrible place to be in so that’s the only reason why I didn’t put them in any foster care or anything but I feel like I could never do anything for myself

[@theturtlemoves9171]

i hope people who think they "have" to have children and that the "nuclear family" is the only way to exist see this video. A child isn't a toy, they're not a "mini you", they are their own person, with their own needs, wants, personalities, disabilities...if u can't love and care for them through all that and understand you will be sacrificing a lot of emotional, physical and financial load with little to no support because of the systems we live under, please for your own well being don't have a kid yet.

[@cw9959]

These 2 minutes in the bathroom isn't long enough I don't have a support system to take a real break what do you do then?

[@aliciaroark7795]

On my first child he's three I had him at seventeen and it's been tough

[@onlycows726]

17? girl, keep those legs closed. serves you right 🤡

[@Marinameyers05]

As a teenager omg it hits hard that a mother could hate her children so probably my mother hates me

[@rayyg786]

31 minutes...this is going to be intense

[@kyleelliott8364]

My 6y/o child only wants to fight me and try to argue when I try to be in a good mood he come and denies me of any joy. I think the problem is the fact that my bm left me and ran away when he was a toddler had him calling another man dad then she got into a cps case so I was able to get my son back and I’ve had him since 2020 all by myself. I have no breaks no one wants to help me with him at all I have no social life he gets me fired because I always have to come get him from school or daycare I just don’t know what to do

[@Nonotnow4]

I think you're just not a fit parent

[@kyleelliott8364]

@@Nonotnow4 I think you don’t know shit. Thanx for your opinion

[@user-vp7kn3js4x]

Your child 'denies me of joy' Grow up u lowlife

[@asselzhaksybek8632]

I reaaaaally wanted to have at least 5 kids I adore my children (2 girls) but the eldest is a HSC and OMG so hard to put on the clothes + “the terrible two” + she is jealous of little sister 👧🏻 she wakes up crying and screaming it is so hard to put her to sleep I am really tired 😢

[@princessrachel4388]

Where is the book to help with this CURSE ?

[@Its_Erica]

I’m sorry but I have felt like this since our second child was born, a daughter. I feel nothing good towards her since the day I honestly knew I was having a girl. She is very difficult to deal with. My husband coddles her and gives her everything she wants but let’s her run all over me. She’s 4 years old now. I feel as if my life is ruined since she was born. I didn’t feel like this with my first even though he ended up having some developmental delays. Their personalities are day and night. I have felt this horrible way towards our daughter for years. There’s no bond that I feel. I’m not sure what to do. I just force myself to be responsible and just pretty much stay on auto pilot just to get by from day to day.

[@nolie021]

Feel similar and Your comment was my experience with my own parent too.

[@josie9583]

So sorry to hear this. I've Def felt this way w my 5 yr old, but it's passed. He's a sweetheart. I feel like I strongly dislike some of his friends though 😕 😒 I love both my sons but have went through these feelings

[@myst6387]

Why are you making children if you already knew you prefered boys ? That’s so immature and selfish imagine hating a child from the womb because of his gender, you sound like a terrible person who only made children for your own pride and not really becau you care about them, sadly a lot of parents are like this nowadays

[@Rastasoul1]

@Dee.As.In.Dericka your advice and testimony touched my soul🙏🏾♥️

[@onlycows726]

a 4 year old? you're mental LMAOOO

[@weichiang89]

"A couple of nights away"? If only I had the luxury.

[@melaniewantsabeer243]

I love my child when they were a child it's the adult thing I can't handle

[@regardyjerry]

I don't hate kids. I'm in my mid twenties. But i don't like some specific kids. The way they look. It kinds of frustrates me. I don't know why. I want to change that habit of mine. I don't show that I don't like them. But it's just that seeing there video some time irritates me. But i like other kids it's just specific of them

[@sheenakoerntgen7618]

Mine happened after an nde

[@aninhapmr]

Well, checking the comments here, I felt this place was safe 4 me to share a bit of my story. I'm a very perfectionist person. I speak many languages and I did all that I could to become what I thought meant being a great parent. Like learning how to cook. I'm a great cook nowadays, I even paused for a while my own career to be present 4 my two children. But my oldest kid is not the smartest kid. They're creative and sweet sometimes, but they're struggling in school. And they doesn't really like doing homework, specially math. Because of their difficulties, and because I work in the educational field, I try to prepare diff types of exercises, and I don't seem to be helping them the way I think I can. It's so frustrating, I feel disappointed and a horrible mother. To make it worse, I have a youngest kid that's so smart and I can't stop comparing them in my head. I do believe I'm ready to help them and I have the tools to do so, but I guess I'm starting to show my disappointment. I'm tired and a bit fed up. This video is soooo good, thank you for it. Yesterday my kid told me they needed more hugs and kisses and cuddlings and all of that. They said its missing because I'm concentrated only in how good they are supposed to be. So I guess they're not that dumb. Maybe they will struggle with some specific knowledge, but they are sensitive and smart enough to be able to express themselves and let me know what they need as kids. I still have to work on my own expectations towards my children, but I guess I am doing a good job, I just need to be more loving because it means the world to them!

[@LeslieThePirhana]

I’m sending this to my mom

[@LeslieThePirhana]

Jk she love me

[@LeslieThePirhana]

I think

[@joanndeck4315]

😂😂😂

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

A feeling that we as mother will not even want to think about

[@shaylamaat]

I am stuck hating my 19 year old.

[@Rastasoul1]

I have a soon to be 19 yr and I really hate how he has been treating me ever since he was 5 yrs old…. It’s depressing. This parenting thing is tough. Just know your not alone and maybe with time it will get better.

[@lana4127]

How would your child feel hearing that

[@mamas-jeep1984]

I hate my baby daddy! What a waste of my time!

[@oliviatreip2613]

Thank you for not pandering too much to terrible parents and their sensibilities. we get so caught up in not being ‘judgemental’ that it becomes taboo to actually put the child first.

[@Mista.fluffmin]

567 reasons why you should NOT have kids

[@MissCherryKel]

I never had regretful feelings until both my children hit age 11. My son was dreadful at 11 but is now 16 and omg, he is absolutely fantastic. My daughter is nearly 12 and she is just terrible. She has such jealousy issues towards her older brother for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Both raised by the same parents (we are separated) same genes, same time and money spent on both but very different humans.

[@Nonotnow4]

Have you ever considered that you may be displaying some type of favoritism towards your son? With the way you speak about him it seems likely that you love your son more. It's disgusting, but it's common for mothers of both a daughter and a son to prefer their son over their daughter regardless of differences in behavior

[@MissCherryKel]

@@Nonotnow4this is an extremely horrible way to speak to someone who you know nothing about. I love them both exactly the same and my son went through a similar phase at this age, however he handled it differently. They have both had equal amounts of love, time and money spent on them. No favouritism here whatsoever! I was just saying how odd it is for two children to grow up in the same environment and be so different!

[@robertarmitage2476]

The love I have for my girlfriend is THE ONLY thing keeping me in this relationship I am in. I detest my step kids so much. I do a lot around the house, clean, provide, play games, help with homework but what’s the point? They don’t fucking care. I hate them. I’m wishing the next 10 years of my life away so that I can just say no and go on with my girlfriend. I know they come as a package but that doesn’t mean I have to like those brats.

[@tamiradotson3668]

I think what alot of what y'all are experiencing is resentment cuz u can love & care for a personabd still have a level of resentment toward them. I don’t think hatred is the right word and should never be the correct word you use how you feel about a child you created.

[@Samaelganzoury]

It’s not normal to hate your child. It’s also not morally acceptable. There’s a huge difference between a mother who gets angry with her kids and a mother who hates her kids. The latter is definitely not normal and please stop normalising this. Please! Could you imagine how such hate will affect the child’s mental development? how insecure and needy and mentally ill they will be as grown up people??? People need to know what does it mean to be a parent. It’s not a game!! It’s a long life commitment. If you are not 10000% sure that you want kids, please don’t have them. The world doesn’t need more people who suffer.

[@altrezbell2967]

The idea of someone hating their own child is outrageous. They made a conscious decision to have that child so they need to make it happen no matter how they feel. Grow up and do your duties since you wanted a child so bad.

[@onlycows726]

THANK YOU, this isn't to say burn out isn't a thing but the way some of these parents are going on about their own children is disgusting. "Because of them..", "They make my life..", "If they didn't exist.."

[@breamoako9945]

Thank goodness it’s normal because I feel like this everyday. Every single day. I even feel like hitting him just so he can go away. I’m so tired of him and just aggravated. I look at him with just disgust all the time. I always get compliments about how cute he is and I just cringe my teeth and clinch my jaw. I have an absolute hate for my child. I even leave him with his grandmother on purpose because I can’t stand being near him. I hate feeding him so I don’t feed him. I hate giving him his bottle so I don’t. I hate changing his diaper so I don’t! This video was helpful and I’ll keep this advice in mind.

[@user-db2fk3fu2v]

what the fuck is wrong with you? Ο Θεος να εχει καλα το παιδι σου

[@syndicarver9633]

Sadly I'm not getting anything useful out of this. I am not a natural mother. In fact, I became a mother through legal guardianship in a rather sudden fashion due to family obligation. Its been almost a year and I still have feelings of hate and regret for ever taking on this kid when me and my husband were planning on living totally child-free lives. This child isn't even family. I took him on because my parents have issues burning bridges between people that are toxic in their lives. I've had at least 3 ex friends and 1 ex fiance that i've burned my bridges with but for some reason they've kept them around for whatever reason if that makes sense. So they were going to take this kid but they're in no physical condition to handle small children as they're both elderly. What now? He doesn't have any actual family that he can go to. Add the autism and the mental delay caused by bio mom doing drugs while she was pregnant.....its almost unbearable. I need out.

[@kesimayers7155]

Omg this is a long ass video man. We don’t have time!

[@sarahinglett9960]

Parenting is never going to be easy, but hate is a strong word. You shouldn't hate anybody specially not your own KID

[@JT-xg1nq]

Sharing encounters with teens who used the word 'hate', I would tell them that "Real love is preceded by falling out of love". When asked, I explained that you could only use the word 'hate' after you have loved. And beyond the 'hate' would be real love. Some are confused while some understood and got their way out of their hating moments. Then it spread as those who got it explained to their peers.

[@sergiospina84lnd]

My thoughts exactly

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Sometimes behaviours can be challenging and cloud our minds and we feel some emotions that we don’t really want to feel

[@aaronvoltaire5780]

I think that having kids is wrong, once you don't know if this child, when an adult, will like to live

[@natalia1045]

I have three kids and I really hate one of them. It’s since ever. He was a horrible baby. Always crying, always demanding. He grew up into this ungrateful autistic boy and it’s a struggle every single day. I sometimes fear he is psychopath. I am horrible mother to him because he always brings up the worst in me. Every single day. Thankfully I have two other kids that I know it’s not just me. It’s him a lot too. And I don’t care he is a kid. I really hate him. I’ve never told him but this disgust is very real and very present. I do regret I have him and I grieve the son I could has have and instead we have him… I know how horrible this sounds but this is reality that is living within me.

[@hxhxhx91]

it sounds like a lot of people in the comments have extremely weak husbands/partners to the point that they shouldn't have had kids. If you hate your kids it means you've failed to build a loving bond with them and them with you. Work on that.

[@vickyboo2838]

I Mean Sometimes Are Kids Are Bad And Stuff Bt Damn Hate? Is That Possible?

[@sergiospina84lnd]

My thoughts exactly. Moments of frustration but hate?? I could never say that to my child or even think about it!

[@sergiospina84lnd]

How can you say your own child is disgusting :'(

[@user-tb4zk5wn6r]

Maybe you guys are in a good hunkydory place right now. And that's amazing! But let's not make others feel bad for having real and legit feelings. I KNOW I'm an amazing mom and that I do a lot to make sure my kids sre loved and happy BUT there have been times when I've felt hate and disgust by some of their actions/attitudes.

[@sergiospina84lnd]

@@user-tb4zk5wn6r my kids aren't tiny babies or toddlers anymore but still, hate is a strong word.. if I hated kids, I wouldn't have had any

[@merissamakesstuff]

@@sergiospina84lnd My mom told me when I was 18, that she hated me from age 6 till I moved out when I was grown. She also told me that she spent my childhood believing she is not love me. It makes sense, because for my whole life almost, my mom would just randomly yell at me and say, "I don't understand why you think I don't love you." I would just be watching a movie or holding my pet saying nothing when she said it. She used to say hate means you want to kill them. When I reminded her that that is what she taught me, she leaned forward and said, "Merissa, I HATED you." I was a nanny for 13 years. I have raised over a dozen kids and worked with hundreds in a school and childcare centers. I can't fathom hating a child, but I have met parents who hate their kids while I was a nanny.

[@onlycows726]

I could not imagine being a grown woman and going on a rant about hating your kids and wanting to rehome them because you have to deal with temper tantrums 💀

[@felix9678]

fr tho, the fact his woman said that thinking your own child is annoying and ugly is normal is absurd, like holy shit their kids 💀 they cant help it snd if they wernt ready for that you should NOT be a parent, these ppl are actually stupid

[@SamudExu]

Have kids first, then you get to opine. Some kids are born bad.

[@onlycows726]

@@SamudExu no one's born bad, humans adapt and grow they aren't born with certain behaviors unless it's a mental disorder so whatever bs you're talking about is clearly your own low-grade parenting, and the fact that you, the adult can't even take accountability for that and would rather blame it on someone you're meant to raise and teach speaks volumes already about yourself, I am still entitled to think what I want, I don't need kids to see past your bs lmao

[@felix9678]

@@SamudExu born bad or not if you are a parent it is YOUR responsibility to teach them not to be, if your child is as terrible as can be then youve done spmething wrong by either not teaching them better or not getting them the help they need and deserve. it is ridiculous to say that is a child's fault for the way they behave and think, if your child is so aweful that you confidently say you 'hate them' then not only is it your fault but you should never be a parent.

[@SamudExu]

@@felix9678 Wrong! A child is the responsibility of the community it belongs to. It is only in Western countries that communities are atomized into family groups with no obligation to one another. That's why Western kids are so weak. they are raised by sleep-deprived parents who are trying to parent by themselves.

[@altrezbell2967]

These comments are unbelievable. It’s disgusting. What did you think taking care of a child would be like? So many people should not be parents.

[@venus5553]

Right they be the same ones going to disneyworld with their huge mickey ears

[@Nick-sl2wp]

I believe a lot of men and women shouldn't be having sex. Growing up, the culture seemed to be about taking care of "sexual desires" than tending to one's heart. The heart we have is the one we pass on to our children. If you haven't taken care of the sin within you, the sin becomes generational. We inherit good and bad from our ancestors/parents. And some more sin than others. It's our duty to strengthen our spirit that resists sin so that when we look at our child we won't see the same sin that lives in our flesh. Sex is an act of creation. It comes with incredible responsibility. Do not be pressured or fooled by modern society to think it should be pursued for hedonistic desires. It's your children who pay for your sin.

[@felix9678]

thekr children. if you can out right say "i hate my kids" you should not be a parent. their children, if they dont know better its YOUR fault that they dont know thats not good. some of yall really should not be parents its absurd. when preparing to have a child you should KNOW that that is how chilren are, their annoying, gross, and loud, but thats not something that can be helped. they dont know better nor can they help it. if you genuinely think you hate your child you should not be a parent and grow up before you consider taking care of a child.

[@AG-wb3db]

This is normal. Children can be very annoying and demanding. Good children must obey and respect their parents. If they don't obey me or respect me, then I punish them. I give them a warning, and if they continue to disobey, I give them a smack on their bottoms. I raise my children according to Islam. And according to our religion paradise or heaven is under the mother's feet. Because mothers make a lot of sacrifaces for the children. And a good child will obey his/ her parents at all times. Not obeying or disrespecting the parents is punished with a warning and if they continue, a smack..so that the children will understand who's boss.