Here's the #1 Mistake Men Make in Bed (the answer may surprise you!)

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[@timinwsac]

Man goes into a store to buy bananas....comes back with a sixpack of beer and a bag of pork rinds.

[@TheNationOfTexas]

I guess that would be the equivalent of starting to have sex, and then just saying, "never mind babe; just give me a BJ while I watch some TV..."

[@juanguerrero9128]

Denzel's voice: "My man. Playa to playa, pimp to pimp." 🍻🍻

[@kimwjustice]

Perfect. 🤣

[@wynonasbigbrowndragon6121]

"Have you ever just driven for fun?" Yup. Before inflation 😂

[@daegrun]

Ah, so never.

[@TheVinny360]

😂😂😂

[@pierreb7878]

No.

[@srob4660]

Men have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be the nice guy but also be the bad boy they want, we have to create the environment, the perfect date and build the right time and place to make magic happen. That’s just getting to the point where now we want to be the best you’ve ever had, and try to make you feel amazing! Aiming to please and make you want more and to gossip to your friends like we know you all do. All while focusing on your body and mind and making every action count and trying to go the distance. No pressure fellas

[@rockwalker1804]

And go back Jack and do it again.

[@Snarge22]

A pointer I picked up from this channel was to start warming up her mind the day before. Like this video, Caitlin is pointing out how the fella needs to take more time and work up to the ultimate goal. That's a notable challenge given us fella's mindset, but one we can actively work at to improve.

[@wynonasbigbrowndragon6121]

I've said for a while now that the path to truly satisfying a woman in bed starts LONG before you two even start kissing. But yeah, if you lightly caress the small of her back on Friday afternoon and take the right steps/say the right stuff from there, she should be incapable of walking properly by Saturday morning, provided you follow all the other pointers about actually doing the act properly

[@ofostodata8594]

This is honestly one of the best pieces of advice I've heard recently. Way to go!!

[@davetodd1738]

I think the biggest problem is exactly what is addressed multiple times on your page, that has countless videos made about it, and is one of the biggest fears of many men… not lasting long enough. You have many videos providing ways to do so, so of course many men are focusing on that and can’t just be in the moment. Being in the moment can lead to the moment ending sooner than desired. Then he faces all the negatives that come with not lasting long enough. The pressure to perform lands on the man, in most cases. Jokes and sitcoms don’t touch on female parts not being ready. They humiliate men for not lasting. To the point where this industry exists. On top of that, he can’t ask what she wants, because that kills the mood for her. We’re expected to just know if she wants quick, drawn out, hard, soft, etc. The pressure is on us, so we need to focus on anything but how great it feels, so we can TRY to make it good enough that she’ll want it again.

[@bones8057]

Maybe slowly try different things and see what she responds positively to. She may not know exactly what she wants right at that moment? And try to relax and enjoy the journey. I know that may be easier said than done but for men it's easier to last longer if you stay relaxed down there. At least it does for me.

[@davetodd1738]

@@bones8057 what she wants is to not do anything. At least not with me. she was ok with different and variety when we were new, 2015. Not so much now. What she wants now is to not do anything. Starfish until the chore is over, which is an entirely different problem. We also have, it lasts too long, because longer is better for me, and I LOVE “getting her there”. She just wants to check it off the list. It seems whenever “we” (men) solve one problem, “they” (our partners) find/make up/present another one. Thank you for the effort though 😁

[@ptff216]

TLDR WARNING!! Amen. The man's side of sex (especially if it's not a long-term relationship) IS A PERFORMANCE, end of story. Anyone saying differently is lying. A couple can be "in the moment" all they want but if it doesn't last long enough for her, then when moment ends neither person is satisfied. A bit different in a marriage or long-term relationship. You get to vary it up anywhere from the passionate quicky where it’s already accepted that it will be brief, he will orgasm, and she will not (only in the movies, people) … or a slower, go as long as you can last physically but intimately in an encounter. And absolutely correct! That requires communication but women don’t want to say what they want/need for a particular encounter because it “ruins the viiiiiiibe”. Well, it just doesn’t work like that, and people have to get over it or make your "vibe" = a quicky. Speaking of which, if there’s ONE thing that few women ever want to acknowledge, it’s that the person penetrating is doing WORK. As in “exercise/workout” work!! Someone above stated that women desire a certain pace and type of movement and having it done CONSISTENTLY. That’s WORK!!! That’s not to say it’s not recreational fun work like playing a sport, but it’s still work! The receiver is in the more relaxed position. I challenge women who think otherwise to build a mound of pillows, lay down on top and hump it the way you’d want to be penetrated and see how long they last before the muscles start burning or cramping. But don’t adjust position and don’t pause for a breather because the pillow needs that consistency and doesn’t care if your thighs are on fire!!! Women need to ask themselves “Could I stay physically aroused while doing at 10-minute plank? Could I if that plank also involved thrusting?” Though I’ve never done it, I’ve read mag articles about what people learn after trying pegging. The #1 thing women say is that they learned how physically exhausting it is to be the penetrator, and that even without the worry of ejaculation ending it all, they couldn’t physically go long enough for him to orgasm (as it takes as long a time to have a prostate orgasm as it does for women to have a PIV). Physically the women need to take breaks, find a position to relieve burning muscles, or just end that act and move to something else. Nature’s cruelty in that regard is men weren’t meant to last as long as it takes for a woman to reach PIV orgasm (that’s even if she’s one of the small minority of women who actually can orgasm from penetration alone). Which leads to the really HARSH stereotypes that men only want sex to orgasm (or that a man can’t perform if it’s not corn/movie style all night long). Women, if you take nothing else from this novel, let it be this: If you ask ANY hetero male on the planet what he’d want in terms of intercourse, we wish we could flip a switch that allows us to stay fully physically aroused at all times during sex AND have that same switch simultaneously deactivate the nerve signal that triggers ejaculation until we intentionally decide to turn the switch off (AFTER we’ve given the woman the pleasure she desires). It's not a muscle we can flex on brain's order (you'd be surprised how many women, young and old, think men have, or should have, full control over erections). When it comes to “intercourse” our partner’s pleasure literally means more to us mentally than anything else. Even if we enjoyed the encounter physically, it’s not even in the same GALAXY as seeing her in a state of post-sexual high of being overly thrilled and satisfied. That’s our mental orgasm that sticks with us and makes us excited for the next time that we’d gladly take any day of the week over our 5 second release. If orgasm was our sole goal, give us a bj or hj. It completely removes all pressure from the experience, feels good AF and it never lets us down. But when it comes to intercourse, we truly can’t enjoy any of it if we’re not pleasing the woman more than ourselves.

[@wynonasbigbrowndragon6121]

And if you take too long, THAT'S a problem. "HE MUST NOT LIKE MEEEE 😭"

[@bones8057]

@@wynonasbigbrowndragon6121 Try saying "I want you to come". It may be that the guy is just trying to last a long time to be sure that the woman is satisfied. Let him know it's ok to finish.

[@Bayan1905]

It's the little things. Go fishing, (I tell people who have never done it how actually relaxing that can be), go for a walk in the woods, etc. I used to work in law enforcement and saw a lot of guys, mostly in their 20's burn out and then wreck their relationships, marriage because they would not let their job go, they brought it home with them, the stress got between them and their wives, girlfriends, etc., one of the reasons that profession has the highest divorce rates and alcoholism rates. I used to tell the guys, have an out, find a hobby, do something that you can just go do without even having a plan to do it. I've been retired since 2019 and I still live by that, more now than ever.

[@DuVtrell]

Be a crockpot, not a microwave.

[@dansemacabre6515]

I think the #1 mistake 99%+ of *ALL* men make is they don't know how to move their body correctly during the act - i.e. ~ robotic thrusting. They're supposed to undulate their entire spine & body during the act. 2nd biggest mistake - zero consistency. You have to keep good time going in & out, not pause or slow down/speed up randomly. Start slow & gradually get faster. I blame "corn."

[@tonyp4914]

This is gold

[@chrishiking8818]

That's so true , go on a journey with her , go slow and ask her and learn about her but show her respect and listen.

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

Then choose you're hole.

[@D.M.S.]

needed that right now. thanks!

[@anydaynow01]

Liking the direct and to the point videos these days! They give great info and the reasons why we need to follow your advice, brilliant!

[@jackmygeneration321]

Why are we always to blame?

[@swifty5098]

best video on topic ever! i get it now.:)

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

Who goes shopping to just buy just one item of food? If you're going to a shop, make the trip worthwhile.

[@charliegodell]

Thanks Caitlin… ONE of your spanish follower ✌️☺️😜

[@barberstartv]

Thank u sweetie!!!...we definitely needed this!!...u r so amazing!!❤❤❤💯💯🔥🔥🤝🤝👏👏👍👌👍🏼

[@vincemilley2124]

Thxs Catlin

[@johnbowman476]

Great point, I am way too ending orientated to enjoy the journey. Screwed up the physical side of my last relationship

[@markshepard4275]

How about the mistakes women make? It's not always the man. Like, for instance, my woman used to go down on me nearly every time we got together. Then it became less and less, weeks, then months, now it's been at least 8 months with no explanation, but yet, she told me that was something she loved to do. So, now all of the sudden she loved it with her ex's but doesn't with me?

[@billburcell8704]

thanks Caitlin

[@jthompson6497]

Nice "change of pace" video, Caitlin - great key points on the big picture - take notes gentlemen

[@luckyhowe431]

Why is it? You always have to say that something is wrong with the man. Or what he does???

[@BoldlyExplore]

Exactly.

[@boredom2559]

i needed this

[@Desperado69]

Your the AWSOMEST!😊

[@scottwilliams4383]

Cute and as always very informative.❤

[@ashrafmarshoud7667]

Excellent

[@jr-zq6nf]

Great advice. This seems to be a consistent theme in most sex advice videos I've seen.

[@funkenjoyer]

There's a saying about gamers "players will always find a way to optimize the fun out of the game", I feel like it sort of fits the narrative here being so focused on the goal you religiously go past any fun bits on the way and then end up wondering why it wasn't fun in the end

[@techguy943]

As a gamer I can officially say that the developers of the games rush the player through the main storyline instead of letting the player explore the world in the game Like you're in a way forced to complete the main story of the game instead of taking in the setting

[@Ugottahaveit]

This is like the jellyfish approach. Great advice. I first thought you were going to say going to fast. But these are all related Thank you

[@michaelbreeden6204]

Caitlin I really adore your podcast. You alone are an incredible woman the way you discuss issues that men need to address… I completely understand and agree!!! The lighter the touch the better…however the touch needs to be “controlled”… meaning …MEN …honor and love your wives or lovers. TES…you will do most of the “work”….if you want to call it “work”. However…women…not ALL men are Neanderthal like!!!! Many men are sincerely trying to be THE ONE who makes you quiver!!! …both emotionally and physically! For me… my wife used to be the woman of my dreams sexually. Then…as we grew together it seems as if she couldn’t care less about me or my needs and constantly blames “MENOPAUSE” Now… I have spent lots and lots of time trying to understand this. It is nearly impossible…Nearly!! Women during menopause are NOT interested in sex. They do have many other things on their minds…much like guys during football season or hunting season…two things I have NEVER understood why a man would choose a sport or killing an animal…over a BEAUTIFUL woman!!😮🙄😳🤔🫤🥴🤒 I just don’t understand it!!!! However… I cook, clean house, work hard and make $, hate TV and would rather spend good quality time with my wife…but since menopause….she is happy with no sex and starring at TV for hours. Believe me…. I have tried to Talk…shared my feelings and asked her to tell me what she needs or wants or doesn’t want. She definitely has no interest in sex. It is difficult to know and difficult to completely understand.

[@piscean-acts]

Being demanding and wanting to have sex right away without proper communication! Wants to explore and experiment with something new without talking to the girl first!!! So annoying!😤

[@juliusc042]

valid points!

[@paulkramer9666]

63% and growing. That, according to a recent survey conducted by the Pew Institute, is the number of American men ages 18 to 35, who in the last three years haven't had or in any way pursued, any kind of romantic entanglement or sexual relationship with a woman. Additionally, when asked why, they largely answered that doing so was in their view, not worth the effort and, that their views on the subject were highly unlikely to change in either the near or distant future. They said, rather than working to pursue and satisfy a woman, they'd found it far easier, less costly and more pleasurable, to develop real contentment in satisfying any and all of their own needs, physical and emotional, through self gratification.

[@princenayak2753]

Love From India Odisha❤

[@kai_plays_khomus]

Wonderful country - lived in New Delhi as a kid for some years because my dad having been a diplomat back then. 🖤 Greetings from Berlin!

[@davegreenlaw5654]

From what I see, the biggest problem is that we guys are *forced* into being goal driven. We've been conditioned to believe that we have to get in there NOW in whatever we want to do, or we miss out...and the relationship world is no different. I remember back in junior high, back when most of us were starting to think about being more then friends with someone. I started out trying to be friends with a girl, to try and show her that we weren't all icky. But time after time, whenever I was going to see if she was interested in being more then just friends, I'd hear from one of her friends that "Oh, she's going out with...now." And this wasn't just one time, but time after time after time...and I don't recall ever telescoping my intentions. So I now felt that I had to get in there and get the relationship going right away, jump over the friendship phase. And the sad thing is, looking back, I probably missed out on one or more potential relationships because I scared them away.

[@SaintGerbilUK]

Drive for fun? Not with Bidens gas prices.

[@christopherguerra6609]

You sure looked stupid wearing that Buffalo outfit while desecrating Capitol Hill.

[@davidho2977]

Haha. Maybe if you have an electric car?

[@SaintGerbilUK]

@@davidho2977 not with Biden's inflation.

[@davidho2977]

Yes. Here in CA, the powers that be just authorized another increase in the price of electricity. I wouldn't be surprised if we have the highest rates in the country.@@SaintGerbilUK

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

That's vague - can't you give us specifics?

[@ParzivalPheonix]

20 minutes?!

[@daatobler976]

I thought it would be eating chocolate cake in bed. Colour me surprised!

[@Upemm]

😂😂

[@johnygimo]

can confirm i find when its goal oriented i dont perform well - i actually bust earlier

[@rquest3059]

The biggest mistake I have made (multiple times) is eating kielbasa and cabbage 2 hours before going to bed... really set's up a horrible atmosphere..😖

[@shaunsaunders531]

Maybe it's an age thing, but I find myself savouring the experience a lot more now. Perhaps the fact my junk is less of a quickfire Uzi and more an antique musket that takes a while to reload! 😀 The kids growing up and moving on helps too. Less rushed liaisons, trying to get some kind of intimacy before they wake up or want something. Good advice all round though.

[@nobodyasks-js5tq]

why she only makes videos critizicing men,but not women?

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

You don't see that she's a Feminist?

[@raemaecable]

Probably because her target audience is men with the goal of teaching them about women.

[@tcb5141]

#1 mistake. How many #1's have there been. Lololol

[@Darkpixies]

Not running away and keeping all their money!

[@ricead]

Had to google PIV lol

[@yendoradon7836]

❤😊

[@brysonford1246]

Well damn

[@dragatus]

Driving around just for fun seem like a terrible waste of fuel.

[@Mrbfgray]

NO woman has ever told me: "Stop this!"

[@offairhead]

👍🏻

[@mcdiamond2463]

@CaitlinV would you rather talk to one guy about sex at a starbucks? or the general public on @KZbin?

[@aaronshirk746]

Where do the almonds go?

[@adamgallagher9822]

I only think about my self..... That's my goal.

[@dannykraeger1602]

If I got behind the wheel without having a destination in mind I'm sure I would get in an accident real quick

[@scottneal2738]

Sadly mine wants it to be a quick process of hit and quit when she gets in the mood and I finally get it. Lucky if in a month or months at a time and it's short....I like to enjoy 😢

[@josephmcclary9667]

My wife wakes up thinking about what excuse to use to get out of sex. Again.

[@leeeastwood6368]

most of the women on this planet are thinking, 'if he doesn't get that fence painted, his goal will be trying to be comfortable on the 2-seat sofa'!😠😁

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

Fuk that.

[@ichbrauchmehrkaffee5785]

Didn't expect to see ai-generated images on here, but here we are

[@louielouie777]

ha ha ha your a funny bunny

[@user-fh7ik2uo8v]

Man goes shopping for a shirt, comes back in 15 minutes with a shirt. Woman goes shopping for a blouse, comes back in 3 hours with a blouse, pants, shoes, earrings, purse, sweater, hat, coat,ect.........

[@thethirdgeneration1738]

Never went to the store. Got groceries by delivery 🚚; kept watching the football game! Needed more Beer 🍺😆🤣. You see, I’m a Manly Man!

[@JohnDoe-fi8kc]

You say she wants to connect with men but yet she wants him to connect with her in the way she wants not in the way he wants. It's all about her needs and wants

[@haydenbarr140]

My goal was to watch this video straight through from point A to point B. But somewhere along the line I intuitively understood the necessity of not doing this and took a detour to point G; G standing for Get the Fuck Outta Here.

[@nathanokeefe7063]

This is my preference, but my wife hates it. She wants to skip all foreplay completely.

[@JohnDoe-fi8kc]

It's not about what she does, right or wrong. It's always about what he's doing right or wrong because men are the only one that's judged on relationships. It's all about what women want nowadays instead of what we want as a group because men's needs and wants aren't valid. I mean look at your programs. For instance, everything is for for women to get what they want but nothing is for what mendia what they want

[@doombeagle4262]

"Think like a woman." This way lies madness.

[@rhyswaterman37]

I'll be honest I just focus on getting my partner to the finish line before getting myself there

[@JohnDoe-fi8kc]

Yeah cuz it's only about her goals not his goals. His thoughts and meanings aren't valid. It's all about what she wants needs and that's where our society has gone nowadays is you know in the past it's been men's needs. I agree, but it hasn't been that way in a long time

[@ablprose491]

You remind me of a cute Barbie who once said to me (let go of me ears) i know how to do it!

[@emontzka]

She’s very good at communicating what she wants. She wants it over with as soon as possible. Don’t get married kids.

[@juliusc042]

"Have you ever just driven for fun?" -- Never!

[@ricead]

My wife drives for fun lol.

[@benjaminphilpot4262]

Just bolt your load then roll over lol

[@gerardodiezmartinezmedina2099]

If a man can drive just because a they feel it then it's not a femenine thing, it's a person thing.

[@scottb4540]

I thought she just wanted me to fiddle her skittle. Thanks for clarifying.

[@BlutoandCo]

So the man has to put in all the effort, women as least as possible? And thats fair?

[@juanguerrero9128]

Driving around is my feminine side?! All this time, I thought it was for me to get away from all the BS around me.

[@Pyrrhic537]

I'm not goal oriented. I just want to enjoy myself. That can be in treating woman like Cleopatra till it turns to good old animal like se$

[@harryazcrac4248]

Happens to me at 29 sometimes. Sex with my partner is amazing, but when I do this I can't even maintain an erection. When I don't focus on it, I achieve what I'm focusing on anyway.

[@hulk611]

Oh, so now sex has to be all about women. What doesn't have to be all about women?!

[@raemaecable]

What about not being goal oriented and just being present with your partner says it's all about women? Do men not benefit from relaxing and taking the pressure off themselves to perform? 🤔

[@charlesbradford7233]

guy wakes up and ask women can we cuddle before we get up. women says are you mad, I have a lot to do today besides getting my hair styled. man goes to the grocery store to get bananas for breakfast. a women flirts with him about how fine his bananas are. Guy remembers morning and painful hurt and flirts with women. Later that day guy tells women how nice her hair is. Women ask what did you do all day stay in bed. Guy says no I went to the store for bananas for breakfast but got a creme pie instead then came home, it was an enjoyable day. By the way I ate the whole pie and licked it dry.

[@GreenPatriot2024]

It's always up to the guy to make sure the woman is being pleasured. All the woman has to do is lay there and take it.

[@paulkramer9666]

That's just silly. The whole video is silly. You're turning sex into something like a game that requires strategy. Just silly.

[@michaelzollner1120]

No, the purpose was to emphasize making sex a game without strategy. Just play for the fun of it.

[@paulkramer9666]

Why play at all?