HOCD vs. Real Attraction: How to Tell if Your Attractions Are Real (Specialist Advice).

Do you tend to obsess about your sexuality? Do you ever wonder whether what you're feeling is real or whether it's just an obsessive thought? This video will help you to differentiate obsessive thoughts from real attractions.
This video will give a set of guidelines to help you work out whether an attraction is genuine or whether it is more of an anxious obsession or an intrusive thought. This is advice from a specialist coach who works with hundreds of people suffering from obsessive anxiety.
Discover whether your thoughts are real, genuine attractions or whether they are just intrusive thoughts with this set of guidelines. This video is helpful for anyone suffering with HOCD, SOOCD or simply trying to decipher their sexuality.
It is helpful for bisexual people or people who are questioning as well.
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#ocd
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[@notdefining]

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[@Singasongtome]

This was really helpful. Thank you :). 😌

[@notdefining]

I'm so glad!

[@ConstanzaRigazio]

I don’t have OCD and I don’t have intrusive thoughts about whether my sexual orientation is what I know it is (I’m straight demisexual). But when I’m out and about, I keep having thoughts like “people will think I’m gay” and especially “men will think I’m gay”. I know this is a thought that my mum implanted in me when I was 15 and I wanted to wear cargo trousers like Avril Lavigne and she said “if you dress like that, people are gonna think you’re a lesbian” and implying that it would make me unattractive to men. As I am exclusively attracted to men, I have tried to present more feminine at times (particularly, every time I had a crush). But this always felt like a performance and like I wasn’t being myself, and I could never stick with it. Still, I do have some obsessive thoughts about what OTHER people might be thinking about my sexuality.

[@melaniaarce8226]

I have HOCD. What you say about real attraction is really interesting. I remember when i started having a crush on this boy who i was talking to back in high school. As time went on i noticed that there were many times that i wouldn't go and talk to him, i just stared at him for a long time so then i thought to myself: "i think i like him" and then i started to get all nervous around him. But now since my HOCD came back I'm now obsessing with the fact that once I looked at a girl's clothing and accessories and now I'm terrified of actually liking her, I'm even questioning if i actually liked that boy back then.

[@nurarihion]

I suffered through HOCD for three years without treatment I still get the intrusive thoughts but after psychiatric help I can now regulate and navigate, honestly it was a living hell

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Thank you for your lovely channel and kind words. Have a great 2025 🎉

[@notdefining]

Ah thank you so much for your kind words and for always being my #1 supporter! Wishing you the most wonderful new year! ❤️✨

[@ajestlemonde]

I had Limerence (having an intense longing for another person even when they don't fully reciprocate. The limerent person struggles to think about anything else but their “crush” and neglects their social life, work, and other responsibilities as a result) when I got my divorce and dealt with a lot of heartache. I worked my way through it and am in a better place.

[@DRthistle]

When I was younger, I had crushes so bad that I couldn't even eat. Of course, they passed rather quickly but I understand that intensity and obsession. I didn't see it as too abnormal and just accepted as part of my overly passionate self. Later, I realized this more as side effect of having great imagination and a lot of sensitive creativity. I am guessing that you might also have that side to your personality?

[@nurarihion]

What I can say about the groin response is that it is a horrible horrible experience because it can get so intense that it can become hard to distinguish from real sexual arousal, the main difference is that the groin response at least in my case would leave me feeling dead inside, the lines between authentic and joyful arousal and panick induced groin responses can get so blurred, it really damages your relationship with your own body, in the worst times of my hocd i would spend hours looking at my genitals trying to figure out if it was true arousal what i was feeling or not, it really is a dark and lonely place

[@PokhrajRoy.]

6:13 I can blame media for the idea that if you’re being obstructed to do things by the mere thought of your crush/love interest, then it’s the ultimate attraction. I’m going to have a tough time unlearning this.

[@janco333]

Amazing video, thank you.

[@notdefining]

Hey I’m so glad you liked it.

[@thefirstbourne149]

Butterflies according to some seen to be turned into a different kind of misinterpretation as well. You could have the butterflies due to stress.

[@millabasset1710]

My issue with my gay side is that I always tried to rationalize encounters with men as "fun" or "side sex" When in reality I limited my options to dating them because of society's views of viewing gay men as second or third class people. Physically I know I am attracted to both men and women, I find it easier to engage with men because I can be friendly with them whether I want sex or not, with women there is a difficult barrier of entry for me. I have bad luck with women, I have attracted more gay or bisexual men that have called me cute and offered to date me, I turned them down all the time. I feel bad because I don't like just using a guy for sex, there should be some fairness on my side.

[@DRthistle]

It's not so easy to turn that kind of fun into a good relationship. Friends first always seems to work out better.

[@Raj-b2q1x]

I Will see you for coaching at some point in Jan :)

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for reaching out. I would love to see you. Just check out www.notdefining.com for my availability. You can also email me through the website if you can’t find a time on there. I’d be pleased to discuss. I do get quite booked up though but don’t worry, we will find a place for you.

[@Katt-w3]

My worry is i know i am bisexual i am attracted to girls and boys do have to be attracted to anothers genders but i am only attracted to girls and boys .

[@notdefining]

You don’t have to be attracted to other genders no. Just girls and boys is okay if that’s what feels authentic to you.

[@Katt-w3]

@@notdefining I know i am bisexual i attracted to girls and boys I am attracted females Jessie J singer Heather Peace singer and Eastenders star who Eve Unwin Male i am attracted too Peter andre singer who sing mysterious girl Zac Efron who plays Troy Bolton in disney channel high school musical

[@georgiareynolds3175]

Is it possible to be both hocd and attraction