How "Adulting" is Holding Back a Generation

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[@PeggyTheGhost13]

I don’t think being an adult has to mean following a laundry list of going to college, getting a “professional” job, getting married, buying a house and having children on a prescribed timetable. Being an adult simply means making your own choices and taking accountability for the consequences of those choices.

[@Rockerlady]

That is true. But accountability is key. If you rely on relatives, at least do your part so they can rely on you. A lot of young people expect help but don't help out.

[@cuddlesanddaisy]

​@@RockerladyWhat you said there, EXACTLY.

[@mettamorph4523]

I am dismayed this comment has so many thumbs up. "Making your own choices and taking accountability for those choices". Nope. That's weak. He's making his choice to have his mommy cook for him like he's an 8 year old. What is the accountability for that? My parents said two things often - "If you get married.." and "When you move out..". They let me know that marriage was optional but moving out was not optional. They were telling me it's not their job to financially support me forever. I was taught to do my laundry, to cook, do cleaning chores. They helped me get teen working papers. Birds push the young ones out to fly on their own. There's a lesson in that.

[@paulej]

You're not required to have kids on a timetable, but if you want kids then nature does have its opinion. Having kids is awesome, IMO. Having them early makes it easier.

[@mettamorph4523]

​@@paulej Yes. Life has seasons. We keep trying to lengthen our Springs and Summers when we are almost halfway through Fall. Winter is coming.

[@dicandidosoares]

Better alone than in bad company. I liked very much your video.

[@libbysworld7649]

Excellent video. I am GenX. Moved out of my Mom's house at age 23 in 1996 when I bought my first home. Mortgage rates were around 9 - 10% at the time, to lend a little context. I got married a year and a half later and 2 years after that bought another house with my then husband. Lived there with him until we separated in 2010. We have a son together. I got involved with a man who had his own house after that. Never wanted to make a full commitment to me with marriage and the whole 9. At the time it really upset me. In retrospect THANK GOD. I moved out of his house in 2018 and bought another house and lived there until I married my 2nd husband after a 2 1/2 year engagement. We still have both houses as my son sublets that house while he completes college. My step son 22 lives with us and is saving to get his first place. Everything you said is RIGHT on the money. Home ownership doesn't have to be the goal, but whether you are college educated or not, you have options and can responsibly plan to live independently.

[@davidmitchell6873]

You seem to get around.

[@DanmcQueen-i3p]

Other than the occasional burst of foul language, and maybe your preference for only grey sweater tops, you are obviously a very high functioning class act Nicole. You have everything all in one package: pretty, high IQ, business sense, net worth, self employed and self sufficient, and you love animals, and accept your responsibilities. So set your standards very high when considering relationships. You deserve it. Thank you for taking care of "Levi". Yours truly, the County Engineer.

[@leslieclaire]

You are very smart about the dating situation. Your suggestions for meet ups sound very normal. High standards must prevail. 💕 Love your videos.💕

[@DavidJames-g5f]

This younger generation actually thinks older people had it so easy. I worked 60 hours a week in the 90s in 110 degree kitchens and drive 45 minutes to a hour each way. My first house was 160k at like 14% interest. Pretty much cost me 2k a month total with piti, utilities and some food. That was 30 years ago. It wasnt easy at all. They keep saying it was so easy so this lazy ass society has a built in excuse to never achieve anything. It's nauseating the agenda they are pushing and even more nauseating that people are falling for it.

[@ARTPROBLEMS]

Moved out at 19.. joined the US Army.. really moved out at 18 to go to college but couldn't afford it, even with a 75% scholarship.. so the military it was! :D

[@dabneydee9109]

I thought I was the only person who absolutely _loathes_ the term, "adulting". You hit the nail on the head - it's infantilizing.

[@nickpapagiorgio702]

In my late 30s living alone in a 3-bedroom house I've completely paid off and Mommy's Meatballs still gets more action than me.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

I can assure you, he got NO action.

[@nickpapagiorgio702]

🤣🤣🤣@@AccordingtoNicole

[@GigaChad_169]

Same except I still have a mortgage, no other debt and a good job...the dating pool isn't looking too good. I'm running into a lot of posers, overweight people thinking they're 10/10, and players.

[@nickpapagiorgio702]

I have no trouble finding decent women; the problem is getting them to stop chasing bad boy giga-Chad. No offense haha.@@GigaChad_169

[@ericclark133]

While I mentioned earlier that Starbucks is an ideal first date, I don’t think that a burger for dinner is an appropriate third date (unless you’re a broke student or you’re 20 or under). I think a better place is Applebees (unless you’re a vegan - but then again I don’t know if Applebees has vegan options) or other fast casual option. It says one isn’t so cheap that they skimp on important expenses (a third date is important enough to spend some money on) but also not a red flag that you’re wasting a lot of money on high-faulitn things - which leads to financial trouble. Say “no” to anyone who expects more spent - they’re trouble. Expensive places are to be saved for very important milestones once you’re in a relationship. Indeed, if you want kids, you’re not going to any fancy place until the last one is in high school. The one time it’s acceptable for a 41 year old to live with their mom is when mom moves back in with him because she’s old and has significant health issues. He should have independence for some time and she is moving to his place - not the other way around. Indeed, it’s something that many of us are going to have to deal with - that’s family responsibility. It’s not family responsibility to enable a 41 year old who has the ability to take care of himself (ok, maybe a 41 year old is so disabled he literally is incapable of taking care of himself, but he’s not going to be in ordinary circles, and if he dates it’s going to be someone in similar restricting circumstances as himself). If you’re hanging around losers - people who have bad habits, financial or health wise, as you mentioned here, it’s time to change your circle of influence. It’s hard to do if you have kids, but when you don’t, there’s no excuse. Do things where you can find winners - and by that I mean take responsibility, not making excuses. I am about to unfollow a formerly good friends who is an ideologue who spends a lot of time complaining in social media despite having birth advantages greater than 95% of everyone else (including a law degree obtained 25 years ago, when student debt wasn’t that bad) - and despite her rejecting my advice (ie, learn from her rich contacts what they are doing). I think you are doing great work. I don’t agree with you on some big things, but I do agree that where you are giving lots of advice on teaching people how to live as real adults, not just in this video, but most of your other videos. So I followed. Keep it up!

[@victorbaird8220]

Good video wish I could move out 😊

[@thecountrybunkins8896]

You hit a nail square on the head with society today that's affecting guys and girls. Causing them to not grow up. At first I was going to blame their parents. But, nope, I feel sorry for their kids if they ever have any.

[@vladimoora]

I wanted to move into my own apartment as soon as I graduated from college so I could live my own life. I don't understand how an adult can live with their parents. Parents then often don't know where the boundaries are, they treat their adult children like little kids and "kids" can't take responsibility for their own lives. But... I have a friend who, in his 40s, lives with his mother. Until recently he was really like a little kid, but his mother had a stroke and suddenly he can take care of himself and her. When he had to, he was able to grow up very quickly.

[@nursekja1]

Do you have to worry about medical insurance? I find that's one thing that keeps people tied to a traditional job in the US.

[@aedynbrooks6900]

I moved out at 18. I totally agree with having standards for someone you date having the same financial view point. The two biggest things couples argue about are money and s3x. Eliminate the money issue and you'll have better s3x. ;-)

[@philipdefrancisco7540]

OMG!!! "Walking is an ideal date for a golden retriever!" LOLOLOL😄

[@allkindsamusicchick]

[@mettamorph4523]

I liked that too.😅

[@rosieposie9564]

I love walking dates as they are personal and healthy but that comment was funny.

[@marcosj3639]

that made me rofl .. especially bc i use take girls on those dates. it reminded me one time asking someone if they wanted to get some food at the mall and walk around and theyre response was “wth, the mall is for teenagers” it stuck with me too and gave me a different perspective.

[@Georgggg]

Thats sounds so humilitaing, no question why people are so stressed about their status.

[@ambermray]

I’m an elder millennial (1982), and one thing I’ve noticed is the change that has occurred in the work force. Having a college degree doesn’t carry with it the same weight as it did 25 years ago. Neither does having a home, a car, or “career”. The workforce my husband and I went to college for simply does not exist.

[@Anson120]

Now a lot of jobs are overworking and exploiting their employees this includes high level jobs that require degrees or certificates.

[@royharper2003]

maybe should should have picked different majors

[@lexa_power]

💯

[@kevykevTPA]

@@Anson120 What is it about life in the 21st Century that has sooo many people complaining sooo loudly? I don't make enough money, I have to work more than the bare minimum amount of time, housing is too expensive, employers are mean, yadda yadda yadda.... Our great-grandparents were storming the beaches of Normandy at the age of 18, many of whom never came back, and life went on. Our lives are cush compared to our recent ancestors, and we whine about it soooo much, I just don't get it.

[@katiejon17]

Last year of gen-x (1979) - when we graduated college, we did not expect immediate gains. We all knew we’d be starting at the bottom, and work our way up. That’s not happening today, people are expecting to skip over a decade of hard work and experience, and be handed things. Most of us lived with multiple roommates, drove older cars, and lived much smaller lives throughout our 20’s. That is not the reality today. I’m 45, and I have a cousin who’s now about 37 (both females). When I graduated from college I appreciated getting an administrative assistant position in a financial company that was very clear in providing an ability to work my way up (my boss had a high-paying job with her own office, and she had my position maybe 7 years prior). My cousin graduated with her bachelors in biology, and applied for her state’s administrator (administrator!) position with Immigration & Naturalization. She naturally did not receive the position due to having no experience... and was enraged about it. Entitlement has somehow come into play in a big way. Past generations did not have it easier, but many from younger generations demand to skip over the grunt period of the decade following graduation. Never mind that most people are going to college for useless degrees.

[@gracesimplified3860]

Nicole you may find it weird that some older adults/ seniors watch your videos. However, I find them a window into our culture and the minds of a different generation. I think it’s important to understand each other and keep our minds open. You are refreshing.

[@kimb884]

I’m 70 and I faithfully watch Nicole. 😊

[@melissawitsell7509]

58 here, and I find her wise beyond her years. I love her sense of humor too! 😃

[@xlerb2286]

63 here. Refreshing to find a young person that's got it so together. I wish I had at that age ;)

[@kingofcastlechaos]

56 and just stumbled onto her content.

[@bonriver9420]

I am 77 and I agree with you. Even though I am old enough to be her grandmother, I really enjoy watching her videos. It is eye opening and also enjoyable to see how young people think and feel about things. It also gives one hope for the future of our world to know that there are a lot of young people who really have their shit together.

[@aloysiusexpialidocious]

If you ended up dating that one dude, you were literally going to be covering every single emergency expense he encounters. You would be covering every single house/personal supply. He's a child.

[@occamsshavecream4541]

Sounds like he needs a warm bottle and a diaper.

[@b4rs629]

It goes both ways.

[@jimmymac2292]

Isn't that the point of a partnership though. Like both of yall are a team and if one has a problem, you both work to solve it. I do believe there should be some sort of balance. But I would have a hard time looking at my partner and telling them to just deal with their shit on their own

[@douglaswilliams6834]

@@jimmymac2292 You totally miss the point. Of course, once married, you are "ride/die together", but when dating, especially early on, each potential partner should be trying to show the other why they are worth spending time and effort on. The boy, I'm not going to call him a man, she went on those two "dates" with showed her that he was just a broke ass MFer, and couldn't even afford to go on a dinner date with her, even after she offered to split the bill. She's a ~30yo woman with her own house. The boy should be trying to better his life situation, not going on "dates".

[@jimmymac2292]

@douglaswilliams6834 no, because he isn't the one making a video. If the red flags are too much, then why go on a second date, why continue to waste your time. This could have been simply solved by a one a done experience and not worth a video, let alone nicknames with friends and so forth.

[@iamjane9628]

"..and then promptly ruin your life by having kids" ! Nicole, you are the best. I don't know you, but I love you. And I agree with everything else you said here, as well. The dumbification and infantilization of America is real.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

✌🏼

[@mortanicus5871]

Nicole makes me LMAO all the time with the way she puts things. One time she characterized diet pills as "pills that make you s**t yourself skinny." That one made me bust out laughing.

[@antillie7]

I would say that having them before you are ready is a great way to ruin your life. I didn't have my first until I was 32. My wife and I just weren't in a position to be able to afford it until about then. But the real issue is just how high the bar for "able to afford to have a kid" is and how long it takes most people to get there. I think a lot of people will never really get there and will end up having kids anyway and just struggle for years and years as a result. I've heard it said that home ownership in the US is a privilege only available to those making 100k+. And I think there is something to that. (Something along the lines of to get a mortgage for the median home you need an income of ~120k with no other debt and a 20% down payment.) I wonder what the threshold for being able to afford a kid is. Never mind more than one.

[@jeremiahbullfrog9288]

@@richardwallerstein539 You say this as though "family" is still a thing. There's a plague of single moms looking for sugar daddies and guys aren't interested in footing the bill for someone else's kids, especially when they can get ripped away whenever she gets bored with the relationship. You can imagine how this spirals generationally.

[@lisaaxe9062]

👍🏽❤️👍🏽❤️

[@sylviaodhner]

I love walk dates! You don't have to like them, but I genuinely enjoy walking with someone as a way of getting to know them. It's one of my favorite things.

[@vandalpaulius]

omg yes. Going for a walk, stumbling on some small cafe, sitting there for a bit and continuing to walk is the best

[@bthomson]

Yes! Cheap and good exercise! The brain is happy doing it. You can learn a lot about someone walking! Health, mindset, hobbies, education, politics, religion, finances, family situation and how they treat others.

[@jeremiahbullfrog9288]

Agree, but when Nicole expressed her disinterest, he ought to have dropped it and come up with other ideas or moved on to a more compatible person.

[@KatTaylor]

I think a walk can be a great first date. But at some point, I need to see that the other person can plan and execute a nice evening for us. It demonstrates that he can do more than just show up.

[@jeremiahbullfrog9288]

@@KatTaylor To be fair, she needs to do more than just show up as well.... this trend definitely cuts both ways lately. Google "dating for free meals" :)

[@tired_buthappy]

I was in 9th grade when 9/11 happened, and the recession of 2008 hit hard, me graduating from college a year later. I actually married my husband because we couldn’t afford rent and life expenses on our own. Luckily that turned out well and we are still happy together almost 15 years later. But yeah, money and the environment around you influences so much about the life choices you make.

[@marconion]

As a Gen X'er i had to laugh about your take on the generational divide. You went from the Boomer generation straight to the Millennial generation. You literally forgot the "forgotten generation", Gen X'ers. Well done Nicole! lol

[@photographyforthefofit]

I actually laughed out loud

[@MichelleHenleyJohnson]

We always get left out. I work in marketing and nobody ever considers us, it’s all boomers, millennials, and Gen Z. I was just talking to my husband about that. 😂 definitely the forgotten Gen.

[@GreyRock100]

Gen X went outside to play and never came back...

[@jeremiahbullfrog9288]

tbh it feels good to be "forgotten" when you're sandwiched by clueless and entitled.

[@shavenyak1]

Same here. My thoughts are similar to @OneSillyWanker. Gen X is off doing their own shit. We were taught independence at an early age and forged our own paths. We are less interested in getting involved in bullshit we don't have any control over or waste energy on things that don't directly impact us. Heads down, we trudge on. All that being said, some people born in the Gen X era are millennials and some people born in the millennial era are Gen Xers because of the way they were raised. Nicole seems to me like she was raised as more of a Gen Xer... with millennial media savvy.

[@Kyla94934]

Your dating stories perfectly sum up why I just dont have the energy to date anymore. Most men just seem to be looking for a mom and I don't want to be a mom

[@addicted2expression]

Yeah. I don't get why so many guys want someone to take care of them... I wouldn't look for someone to take care of me more so a person I can grow with.

[@jeremiahbullfrog9288]

And so many women just seem to be looking for a dad. It's brutal out there!

[@wildbill562]

My mom was a beautiful, energetic, competent, loyal, loving person. A Proverbs 31 woman. That was what I wanted in a wife. I was very disappointed when I married a spoiled brat with daddy issues. If you don't want to take care of your husband, do not get married. That is the job!

[@whosaidthat4299]

Worse a mom they want to F there's alot or actually not too much to think about.

[@winterwoodcottage3657]

​@@wildbill562whaaaaat? It's not my "job" to take care of a grown man. A marriage is to love, honor and cherish and that's a two way street.

[@maryrudelich9000]

I enjoyed this video Nicole. Truth be told, when I was in my mid-20’s I fell into this trap of “helping” a boy friend in his tavern business. It turned into a five year nightmare where I found myself managing his business while holding down a full time nothing job in order to save money for myself. My advice to you, Nicole is do NOT NOT NOT do this for anyone. Hold onto your independence with a death grip, and keep your finances separate. Including, but not limited to a legal agreement signed by both parties before you move in together. In other words, if he moves in with you his stuff is your stuff and he has no rights. Also, a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage. I guarantee you that you’ll sleep much better at night. Sage advice after navigating love relationships. My husband and I remain together and married since 2008.

[@skinnypete3104]

Living at home as an adult is culturally acceptable in many countries. So if you are living at home, working, taking care of yourselves, paying bills etc is perfectly acceptable. Never feel pressured to leave your parents home as part of growing up. Thats a very American thing to shove the kids out of the house or consider them failures for living at home. Multi generational family homes has a village that we all dream of during a time many are very lonely.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

Working, taking care of yourself and paying bills is the thing though. Many are not. Many of my neighbours are multi-generational families. Everyone contributes to the family in some way. That’s not what I’m talking about.

[@seltzermint5]

I never understood this when I was younger. I remember watching that movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and HATING it so much because I thought the main woman's family was cultish and abusive and she was a huge loser. I have learned a few things since then but it still doesn't sit right with me since I was raised differently and not in those cultures.

[@gracesimplified3860]

Agree!

[@skinnypete3104]

@@AccordingtoNicoleIt was a good video. I just wanted to emphasize this since I see so many slamming multi generational homes or feel pressured that adulting means moving out of their parents home.

[@nicoleg7194]

@skinnypete3104 She’s not American. She’s Canadian.

[@robinedwards8796]

I moved out at 17. I got a job at 16 that enabled me to do that. I was no longer attending school. I'm now in my 40s with a 2 year degree and disabled. I live in subsidized housing and have an ever narrowing path to "upward mobility". If I diet get extremely lucky to live in this housing, I'd be on the street or living with my parents. Several generations of society continuing to get sicker because a very few hold the rest of us down, doesn't result in a functioning system with functioning people. Those of you still making things work for you are great. Those of us who can't, shouldn't be shamed. Those of us desperate to survive will no doubt do shitty things to get our needs met. Fix the flaws in the system (billionaires and trillionaires) and the people will tend toward healing if given the resources.

[@_Arugula_Salad_]

Sorry to hear it, mate. A health issue derailed my life a few years ago as well. Eventually I was homeless for a year, but now I'm back with my mom. It's vicious out there.

[@tomasviane3844]

It made me wonder if there EVER was a time where one would be disabled and have a society that gave them everything they needed to live a full life "on their own"... How hard times seem now, I wonder how it was in the 1800s, 1700s,... Be grateful for what you do have!

[@_Arugula_Salad_]

My mother stabbed me in the back and made me homeless AGAIN after living w her for 2 weeks. My brothers manipulated her. A Pakistani friend let me stay with her but her sons coming home so I need to vacate tomorrow. Back to tent life, hooray

[@michaelcalder9089]

In the past 5 years society has really started to fracture due to the great ripoff. Housing and rentals out of reach for many

[@LindaDooWop]

You're a delightful person, Nicole! I can't get over how likeable you are!

[@colleenmarin8907]

I fully understand why people live with their parents longer - in my area, it's practically impossible to live alone (renting or buying)

[@moominmay]

That’s not her issue though it’s the fact that whilst living at home they’re not taking advantage of that luxury to further progress themselves and often go backwards in some things such as domestic skills

[@GigaChad_169]

I know a guy who is 45 and lives with his parents. He had some credit issues due to a car repossession and he's a school teacher so they don't make much. I can understand needing to do so for a bit. HOWEVER, instead of taking advantage of the gift of having minimal living expenses and a full-time salary, he's blowing his money partying on nights and weekends, as well as vacations. Then he gives me the "it must be nice to own a home" snide comment when we meet up. As if he couldn't save a large fraction of the $60k year he makes having no rent, mortgage, or utility payments,. Let alone, work summer school sessions and make $80k and save even more. I asked one time and he said her likes having summers off... He chooses not to act like an adult, then acts like life is too expensive so he's justified in doom spending.

[@pudznerath6532]

Women just love status (atleast when they get to their settling phase in life) owning a house is one of them. But we really shouldnt be going after female attention at all these days.

[@aerrae5608]

@@GigaChad_169 Damn man if I had no rent I'd be saving insane amounts. Probs have a house down payment in 5 years and my lifestyle wouldn't even have to change.

[@b4rs629]

@@GigaChad_169 Ya, those types are the worst. If I made 60k while living at home. There's always gonna be the ones that take it for granted. 60k may not seem like a lot depending on where other people live, but here in the midwest you could live comfortable making 60k. I would be out within a year or two. He'll I rarely make over 40k a year in my life while living on my own working 50-70 hour weeks.

[@CassieDavis613]

Don't date if you don't have your finances together.

[@RM-jb2bv]

This only applies for men.

[@richjohn11]

I don't...🤣🤣🤣🤪

[@Georgggg]

Imagine if women listened to this.

[@JameekaN-z3o]

@CassieDavis613 - I would makes this more overarching to say, if ones doesn’t have their sh*t together, don’t date. All of that dating energy could be better spent getting ones life together.

[@pdodwell1575]

Hi Nicole, I am more than twice your age and find your wisdom refreshing. I have a request for you. Please don’t diminish the value of your experience and your opinions by defining them as “just” your opinions and “just” your experience. While I would not choose to live my life exactly the way you live yours, I have found from watching your channel and listening to your thoughts and ideas that I am developing a more minimalist approach to having things in my life. And for that, I say thank you.

[@McGuire40695]

For real! I'm a couple years younger than Nicole, and she's amazing! She's accomplished quite a lot in her life, and every one of her videos are a breath of fresh air for a lot of beliefs that I've had over the years. She's definitely a great role model, too, for not holding back at all!

[@JP-ve7or]

I see a lot of KZbinrs doing that "just my opinion" thing constantly. I think it's a way of trying to head off criticism and trolls right off the bat. I agree it shouldn't have to be that way, though.

[@itsmeheathermarie]

After my divorce many years ago I moved back home and while I was greatful, it was not a comfortable situation. Even though I was an adult, they set ground rules (which okay, I understand to a certain degree) but I was basically infantiziled and had some of my freedoms taken away. (Ex 1: I had a curfew). I was out of there as soon as I could afford to do so and honestly, even 15 years later the thought of having to move back in with them is what keeps me motivated to keep progressing in life. I recently have had some hardships and decided that I was going to go back to school and try and get into the medical field. We will see how that pans out, but it seems like a pretty solid goal seeing that is a field that will always be in demand for help. I also want to add that I feel for those currently in the dating field. I lucked out and found a good partner, but if it weren't for him...I would be single and probably just stay single. Great video, Nicole.

[@seltzermint5]

When I was divorced at age 35 I moved back in with my mom for 1 week, it was not financially necessary as I was in a position to have my own place while selling the marital home in another city. I just thought it would be "cool" to save up money for a few months. Um, no. It did not work! I found myself a 1 bedroom furnished apartment so quickly. I just think in most cases adults in US/Canada modern culture aren't cut out to live with their parents (nor are parents usually thriving with adult kids at home). JMHO

[@itsmeheathermarie]

@@seltzermint5 Totally agree! It's interesting how different cultures have an influence on our way of thinking regarding families living together.

[@radioserrelind]

@@itsmeheathermarieYou're right. My parents are able to treat me as their adult roommate because this is more normalized in our culture (we are a German-American blended culture family). They would never dream of giving me a curfew or otherwise infantilizing me. They have also not held me back; I've dated like an adult, gotten all of my degrees from home (some from my sickbed -- years of undiagnosed Lyme which has thankfully healed) and scored the best job any of us have ever had. They are amazed and happy for me that I have thrived. It wasn't always a guarantee. I love them to bits and I wouldn't trade them for any strangers.

[@itsmeheathermarie]

​@radioserrelind that's amazing! That does make me wonder how the idea started in the U.S. for kids to be out of the house by 18, seeing many countries don't do this. Very interesting, indeed...

[@ibanezgirl4623]

@@radioserrelindI wish I had parents like that. I have CIRS from mold illness and possibly Lyme. Been on Disability since age 22. Get worse each year because I have to keep living in moldy homes. Don’t have the money to get myself out of slummy rentals. My mother can’t stand supporting anyone, even her own daughter. My parents are loaded, BTW. She’s always been the type to say “I’m not supporting an adult”. Told me I should’ve married a rich man. My fault, I guess. She’s highly abusive, so living with her would just make me more sick from the stress anyway. Probably the reason my immune system was trash in the first place. Want to become a Naturopath after everything I’ve been through, but it’ll probably never happen. Oh well. Life really is just a lot of luck.

[@ogvelociraptor205]

Nice to wake up and be notified of a new video from Nicole 😊

[@zcorpalpha2462]

Remember, you can lose it all in a heartbeat 💓 Just enjoy life , Fuck everything else Life is too short

[@keiranfoster12]

Hallelujah!

[@zcorpalpha2462]

@@keiranfoster12 🥃🔥

[@taxcattle]

"Adulting" is a term I've used just because I find it amusing, but it never occurred to me to question where the term originated. I guess I would've just chalked it up to snarky/subversive millennial humor. Your observation about it creating a permissive subculture around parasitism is very astute. Thank you for sharing!

[@alwaysgoodinthewoods]

I have been in survival mode since 2008, regardless of how much money I have. Making minimum wage and trying to pay for a car and student debt, while going to college, each part time shift just barely covering the fuel to get there, things were pretty dark. Its completely changed how I spend, and think about money. But Alas the boomers like to say "millennials haven't even been through a recession!"... open your eyes boomer we are IN a recession and have been for years. The infantilizing of millennials by boomers is real too, I think the alcoholism and affinity for pills has taken its toll on the brain, the instructions are for stupid people generation is just causing damage at this point.. There it is, my first boomer rant ever. That kinda felt good lol A Millennial

[@libbyannstew8775]

I think you’re bang on with your perspective on dating. Don’t ignore the signs that someone needs (or wants) a “nurse or a purse”. You make some other very valid points however IMO a big part of the problem is the shift in how parents have been parenting their kids. Too much helicoptering, not allowing kids to take risks and learn from the mistakes, less delayed gratification for material things. So many parents won’t let their kids experience what it’s like to go after what they want, dust themselves off if they stumble and fall, get up and keep on going. Then these people grow up to become parents themselves and the cycle starts all over again.

[@mettamorph4523]

My parents gave us a small allowance, it wasn't payment for chores, it was just for our use. When I got my fast food job at 14, I asked that they stop giving me an allowance. I worked to give myself things they didn't pay for. I would get dressed and calculate who paid for each item I was wearing, and the less my parents had paid for the happier I was. Don't know why. Some people want financial independence and some don't.

[@melissawitsell7509]

I moved out at 17, to attend college. Never moved back home. Graduated college at 22. I’m a Gen Xer, and I feel like things were so much simpler and generally less expensive for my generation than they are for the 20 and 30 somethings now.

[@usefulcommunication4516]

Probably because you're comparing prices today to prices when you were in your twenties. Millenials have it waaay better than GenX. We came out of college into the worst economy and unemployment rates ever. Somehow, I managed to get a job in the London office of the world's biggest ad agency on a starting salary of £7,000 (a year!) in 1986. Three years later, I bought a flat with a friend at an interest rate of over 9%, We sold it 10 years later for pretty much the same price that we paid for it. Luckily, by then I had my own ad agency network and a large house by the sea on an 11% mortgage. I sold that house 18 years later to a young couple for about three times more than I'd paid for it, but they bought it with a mortgage that was more than four times cheaper than the mortgage I had when I bought it. House prices might be higher now versus average salaries, but money is much cheaper, as is pretty much everything else in relation to incomes. As this woman says, just make sure you're earning enough to have a lifestyle you want. It's easier now than ever. But it's also easier to make excuses not to.

[@alicec.6195]

Womem shouldn't be sorry for asking the bear minimum. We don't want a kid when dating.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

If I wanted another mouth to feed and another mess to clean, I’d get another dog.

[@seltzermint5]

100%. When I was dating "again" in my 30s post divorce a lot of the guys were also looking for stepmom figures. I would tell them immediately that was not in the cards.

[@gracesimplified3860]

I do feel like more people today are emotionally stunted. More people feel the need to label themselves with “differently abled” and expect others to compensate or excuse their behaviors, rather than accept responsibility and adapt to the realities of the world. I’m not speaking in terms of accessibility. I’m speaking in terms of learning to tolerate discomfort at some middle ground. Somebody told me they were uncomfortable with me wearing a particular color “triggering” as if I should run home and change it. WTH! I think people having the ability to have so many selectively individualized options for entertainment through streaming, noise canceling headphones, online ordering, door dash… they no longer know how to be social, compromise and adapt. Their world has become so customizable that they are inflexible to change and growth. They are in their comfort zone. I grew up with three channels and one family tv. We had four ways to have coffee…black, black w/cream, black w/sugar, black w/cream and sugar.

[@seltzermint5]

I do think in some cases we have gone from one extreme to another. While some of this seems maybe too black and white or harsh, there's some truth in what you said too. I 100% approve of greater acceptance for people with differences and making accommodations for them at school and work. But letting them opt out of social interactions completely is not what I consider an accommodation and that seems to be more & more common. That does not set anyone up for success or reaching their potential.

[@colleenmarin8907]

Certain shades of yellow are physically painful to look at; but unless you bring up that you're wearing that color, I'll just avoid looking at your clothes

[@krox477]

​World that is getting terrible each day

[@nc8982]

I'm 36 and living back at home for the past two years and I HATE it. I don't go on dates because I'm embarrassed and fully understand why a woman wouldn't date me atm. I've little to no money because of an impending bankruptcy (why I'm at home). People say "oh you're saving money at home". But I'd rather break even in my own home that be rich living with my parents. In saying that, I got some tickets to work offshore on boats and other places for nearly 2/3 times the money I make now (plus tax-free) and 28 weeks off a year so after 2/3 months of that work I shall be moving out

[@cobracommander9138]

It's much more acceptable by everyone for a woman to live with her parents at 36 than a man at 36. You're good!

[@user-be2dt8eg2x]

Be comfortable with yourself. Don't put off your life because you don't have the right car or place or cologne. You can't become young again.

[@bluemoondiadochi]

Stories like these is why I dont want to even try to date anymore. and im a straight guy. dating to me feels like walking in an insane asylum while blindfolded, so nah thanks ill pass, esp since mentally im like from a previous generation so i cant really vibe with the modern stuff. I have my job, focused on that, sending money home cause its beyond needed, and for the rest, looking forward to a day ill be able to buy a beater. For a guy and a rotten degree, I feel fortunate to just be working on a real job and having enough money to support others that i love. as for big ol goals in life, screw that, ill just figure out the next step when i feel its time to move on from this job.

[@Bonserak23]

If your ove 20 and you can't do your own laundry or cook basic meals that's a red flag.

[@argon3]

Meatball guy was testing you to see how much crap you'd be willing to accept. Glad you didn't fall for it.

[@animal79thecat]

Meatball shit-test

[@blueskysummit6153]

I was 18 when I moved out on my own, and I never went back except to visit. I delayed college, got a full-time job, paid my rent and all my other bills. When I went to college, I paid my tuition as I went, so I graduated without loans. I'm from the Boomer generation, and we definitely had a different set of standards.

[@blueskysummit6153]

@@andrirublov I'm not sure privilege is how it took it, but there you have it.

[@marianmoses9604]

@@andrirublovGrow up. The dude moved out at 18 - got a job - and actually WORKED for the things he wanted in life. That’s not “privilege.” Privilege is the lifestyle Hunter Biden enjoys. Regular folks don’t get everything just fucking handed to them. We WORK.

[@ttocselbag5054]

You remind me so much of my sweet (25 y.o.) daughter Nicole: logical, rational, practical, and responsible. I call her “plumb bob” as a nickname because her head is screwed on so square, straight, and true! Ya both make me proud. ❤

[@alanparsonsfan]

Sounds like mine as well, I am thankful that she is like Nicole just based on this, the only Nichole video I have watched. I may have to steal that 'plumb bob' nickname!

[@Allystargirl]

Your daughter sounds lovely :)) I hope some day I have children that I can teach to be wise and practical like how Nicole is :3

[@ttocselbag5054]

@@Allystargirl-Thank you Ally. She is a wonderful young lady. I love her with all my heart, and I admire her equally. She makes Dear old Dad very proud. Best wishes to you.

[@learningisfun2108]

Basically, what Nicole is asking her dates is, “what are you bringing to the table” and she is receiving poor answers. Time to move on. Mr Right is out there but just like Ms Right, they are difficult to find. Perhaps the younger generation is bringing less to the table than previous generations so the search is more arduous?

[@karmageddon9136]

I just checked and I was unsubscribed to your channel without consent. I had to subscribe again.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

KZbin plays games

[@karmageddon9136]

@@schuylergeery-zink1923 KZbin has been doing this to many channels.

[@edvvardcash6109]

That happened to me too. This channel is very benign to be unsubscribed to randomly I don't get it.

[@ilTHfeaa]

youtube does this sometimes, i thought they fixed the issue in like 2012 but i guess not

[@williamrutledge2588]

Enjoy your vids, but the expletives reduce your audience. Growing up should include controlling the tongue I would think.

[@bthomson]

Dropped off at college, mom asked me if she should stay for a while. NO! I couldn't wait to be on my own! After school apartment with two roommates and a job. But needed my own place very quickly! Years of dating to 39! Two long relationships that ended. New guy 12 years younger asked me to marry him after less than a year! Married ( no kids - lots of dogs) for 35 years! Very happy and financially secure! Take your time and good video!

[@erdegora]

Honey, he was just respectful to his mother. And that means he is well raised. Ditching someone without notice for some random person, he just met you right would have been an issue in my opinion. I think should be a red flag he was still living there at his age. Other than that nothing wrong with a boy liking his mom’s spaghetti. In the end you were a passer by and she was there all his life. 😅

[@Thiswomensmidnight39]

I skipped over being a selfish-teenage-young-adult who makes poor choices and stupid financial decisions. I'm 37 and my son is 18, he was born just out of high school in 2006. He went to college with me and I used students loans to survive those years. Financially, it was a challenging time. However I never had a credit card, only bought what I could afford and always paid the bills. We set limits and lived within them. So as family, we developed enjoying the quality time over stuff and have made some really fun traditions out of being together. Now, 18 years later I have tons of money. We spend on vacations and experiences that build memories, even though we know we can make them for free.

[@MrHandyDad]

Adulting = Being Normally Mature. I hate buzz words. Picture how when your boomer age you use "hip words" and the kids all call you Grandparent... Also, Life is very tough (especially now). You have to push because there IS a lower level of life every time...

[@KatTaylor]

The term "adulting" has always rubbed me the wrong way. It's not really "adulting" when you have to go on social media and brag about doing basic stuff that every grown person should be able to do.

[@epd0126]

ur young and healthy and of course you want a partner and romantic love..PLEASE!! enjoy having a man in your life but having a man in your house and constantly in your space will disrupt your peace..enjoy men and spend time with them but not necessary to marry them or live with them..i love your content

[@chrisl1414]

I agree. Marriage is a terrible idea these days for both men and women.

[@DennisFutball2396]

75% of my adult nieces and nephews still live at home and aren’t even trying to grow up. Disappointing

[@glacyneyla-lifestyle]

I'm 32 live with my parents and I agree with everything you said! 😂 Let me explain: My parents are veeeeery bad with money, household and be a parent at all. They never teached my how to tidy up or be frugal. I have bad depressions since I was 15 because of my parents and other things... I never had money as a kid or a teenager. At my 18th birthday (I was still a depressed baby!!) I got many thousands of Euros from my grandparents and freaked out... 😢 I bought everything I wanted and more and more and more... It was a really bad addiction. But of course the things didn't made me happy. At 22 I had no money and no job but still depressions worse than ever because I hated me soooo badly for what I had done! Yes, I'm still working myself out of that shit but hey I'm better in householding, tidying up, money, cooking and cleaning than my mom and I would never date a "man" who can't wash his clothes by himself or cook a basic meal! My parents are teenagers in their minds and I'm done with this 😅 Ready for finally moving out and let them behind me.

[@mayrokratt6195]

i am stuck in the same spot but in savage third world country!

[@DavidJames-g5f]

Stop labeling yourself. We are all depressed.

[@petersouthwell5971]

I agree with you. If a person is living with they're mom as an adult.. And it's not because they're a care giver of an elderly parent. Red flag. What are you going to do study the dudes mom and start making him crust-less peanut butter sandwiches? That's a straight up noodle that dude.. Same with a lady. Im in my early 50s. If I met some lady 44-60 who was still living like a teenager in her room? Hell no... I don't care how cute she is. If I want a pet Ill buy a dog. I expect my partner would have something to bring to the relationship.

[@PsiologaLilyValentina]

Mommies meatballs ha ha ha. Good for you, Nichol. No mommy boys or losers.

[@TheKarlslok]

What is this, dunkin doonuts?! Greetings from Sweden! I think men grew up before because they did get married and have children early. These two things are catalysts for growth. Today men dont have to grow up, since women dont want to marry or have children...

[@Asoftenkameshee]

The reason why we call it adulting is because we do all the things adults do, but we don't get any of the adult results. Working full-time, but still not being able to afford homes / cars / families. 😐 Regarding the men, yes I agree 100% . I struggle with this too, having put my life together, and being a responsible adult, but meeting men that are mentally teenagers.

[@gracesimplified3860]

Owning a car, or home doesn’t determine adulthood. As far as having a family, who gets to define that? Holding yourself accountable for your situation and moving forward is adulthood.

[@langhamp8912]

Being able to afford a home and a car is primarily a white suburban lifestyle choice. Where I live, in Montgomery AL, there's plenty of sub $600 apartments in historically black neighborhoods...and some (most?) of these are really nice spacious apartments right on the bus lines. Going to Birmingham AL or Huntsville, the price goes up by $200 but you still get really nice apartments that are close (but not in) downtown and on a bus line. To live in suburbia, you first need an education and then a job that pays well in order to be able to afford the house and the car. On at least two occasions, I've been unfortunately forced out of my walkable slum rental unit when I got a college educated girlfriend; upon breakup I've gravitated back to historically black neighborhoods that are walkable and cheap even with my ridiculously well-paying job (my opinion). There's adulting where you buy a lot of stuff because your lifestyle forces you to, and there's adulting where you get a nice job but choose to live where you don't spend much money (ie cheap rentals in walkable neighborhoods). As for men having the mental age of teenagers...I think ultimately that's a good thing. Women are getting educated and earning their own money so they don't need men; they can be single by choice. And most men earning just enough to get by, playing video games, and generally enjoying themselves instead of working hard in order to be attractive just seems exhausting; thus, being a slacker makes a lot of sense for most men. There's this book called, "the 50's" by David Halberstam that showed how deeply unhappy women were after getting technically challenging jobs and earning their own money during the 1940's, and then being collectively forced out of those jobs via government policy, HOA and rental policies, and banking lending practices. Thus, it seems to me that modern women making their own career decisions is way better even as men make their own decisions to drop out of the college career path.

[@paul_domici]

I think part of not getting the adult results of your parents is that, Houses and cars are more expensive now a days but the younger generation likes to spend everything on eating out and traveling. That's fine but you can't save up without sacrifice!

[@Rockerlady]

​​@@langhamp8912Both men and women, straights and gays should be getting an education or learning a trade, growing emotionally, preparing themselves for relationships, preparing to possibly take care of children/ elderly parents or themselves if end up ill. The video game playing, weed smoking guys that Nicole described are not independent. They depend on their parents(usually Mom) to cook, clean, pay bills,etc. How do you think people like this have so much time to play games and smoke? There are some people who work 20 hours a week so they can play online 40 hours a week or more. That's the reality.

[@langhamp8912]

@@paul_domici 46% of Gen Z full-time workers also have a part time job...by far the most of any generation. Gen Z is also the thriftiest generation, saving an average of 1/3 of their income, also the highest of any generation. They're also the least fertile of any generation of the same age but, conversely, the most likely to own pets. Gen Z is very much of a depression-era generation. Least likely to own or want to own a car, least likely to travel, least likely to date, most likely to shop second-hand, most likely to have second jobs, most likely to have a college education, have roommates, and so on. However, traveling and eating out isn't driven by Gen Z or even Gen X. It's primarily baby boomers who spend the majority of eatery and traveling dollars.

[@themultilingualfamilyhub]

Loved this video - very interesting and thought-provoking!

[@kingofcastlechaos]

Just found your channel and enjoyed the chat. I am 56, married 35 yrs, first career lasted 27 yrs and took early retirement. I took a year off and now am re-entering the workforce. What a massive shock! These hiring teams are not grown ups. Found your channel while doing research on how I can do a better job understanding their position. I mentor young people and am constantly telling them they need to hang out with better people, so your comment at 17:33 is spot on. Thank you for the content.

[@briand7785]

Your comment on only 50k a year shows that the common opinions of women on men's average income is skewed far from the majority of income. It is in the nature of women to have a long list of qualifications for men. It is also in women's nature to seek well above average men. This leaves the majority of men without much dating in the current economy. So men that qualify are not commiting as much because they are the well above average with lots of choices. And yes, men have there flawes as well.

[@hepcat620]

I'm another 60 something enjoying your videos. I think I like them for 2 reasons. The first is because you confirm the financial philosophy it took me a lifetime to figure out . The second is that you help me to understand my millennial son and the choices he has made.

[@ArtwithKrissy]

A lot of men move from mum to gf and never learn to look after themselves, it's sad and pathetic but it's true and common

[@stephanietrapasso1447]

Your analytic prowess is extraordinary, and practical. I am impressed.

[@erickwport]

Unfortunately i have been "Adulting" since i was 17 and it blows, but i still made a go of it. One thing i have to disagree on is renting, just buy a cheap place in undesirable area and live there while you save up for somewhere better. In most cases property doesn't lose value and its the first stepping stone to a better home while building equity.

[@nicoleg7194]

Yes, I have a 3 bedroom. It’s not a bad area of my town, but like a rich area. My mortgage is $600 a month. You cannot rent a 3 bedroom where I live for $600. When I separated from my ex husband I was paying $485 for a 1 bedroom here before I got this place. And it was in the student area and surrounded every night by students. Bar behind the apt and another across the street. It was so loud almost every night, crappy place and crappy parking. I was only there around a year then bought this place in 2018. That 1 bedroom is probably more now too (and it was the cheapest thing I could find when I moved after we separated).

[@nicoleg7194]

*but not a rich area

[@ellengill360]

Hi Nicole. I like your channel, and on this topic (and many others), I agree with you. Some of the other commenters here say you've created a requirements list, but I disagree with those comments. You're talking about basic living. You're not demanding outrageous good looks, genuine wealth, luxury possessions, etc. You're looking for someone who can take care of their own basic living with a reasonable amount of sense. There's nothing wrong with that. I had to laugh at your date stories, not at you but with you. I'm much older than you are, and I've seen the same things over the years. Some people can't manage themselves, and they're not all young, but most of them are dishonest about their situation. I dated men who were unable to take care of themselves and were looking for a mom and a bank account to drain and had cover stories for their dependence. Luckily, I could smell lies by omission a mile away. A date at McDonald's means the relationship will go nowhere. We don't have Tim Hortons where I live. One man took me to the Apple Store so he could get his computer fixed, then to McDonald's, and he wondered why I stopped taking his calls or answering his emails and texts. I dated another man off and on who refused to get a job to avoid paying a judgment; he also let his driver's license lapse. He was a major drain, but sometimes, I didn't want to go somewhere alone. I learned I ended up going places alone anyway. The hilarious thing was that other women were lined up to take him when I dumped him. He ended up living with a woman, a single mom who already had a kid to raise, and she mothers him too, and he's neither loyal nor nice about it. I felt sorry for her but she chose to have a man at all costs, and this one costs her a fortune. Life's too hard to have to take care of someone who's going to be such a drain and offer nothing, including by way of emotional or intellectual support. I wouldn't want to share a house, bank account, financial liability, or children with a person who can't manage to take care of themselves. Also, for those unable to take care of themselves financially and emotionally for various reasons, and I know many justifiable reasons exist, it's not saying they should be ashamed of themselves or are less of a person or anything like that. It's just stating the fact that they're not going to be ideal partners because they're either going to be a drain on you or withholding to the needs or desires of others--those actually taking care of them. On the flip side, I dated men who were working and taking care of themselves but were control freaks and wanted to control me. Not everyone who looks like they're together is together psychologically. Some people only get the tangible stuff right and are a mess in other ways.

[@GigaChad_169]

Thanks for you comment. I've had similar experiences with losers. Its comforting to know that I'm not the only one putting myself out there and then finding out that these guys are liars and their lives are a mess. A guy I recently was in a committed relationship with lied about being married when we were looking over some documents he needed help with. Got an attitude when I asked about it. Enjoying the single life now.

[@EmilyAdams-q1h]

Be careful not to let KZbin E-Celeb Syndrome ruin your channel. You're starting to become abrasive and preachy. Also, the weird 'man-hating' vibe of this video will drive male viewers away in droves.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

You must be new here. I've always been abrasive. I LOVE men. However I have no patience for man-babies.

[@sophiakitts]

Moved out at 17 to go to college. Rarely went home even though it was 45 minutes away. Moved out of state and got married at 31 which was way past the cultural expiration date for women in 1991. We saved money and bought a 1350 sq. foot house 2 weeks before our wedding. Our daughters are 30 and 27. Our 27 year old got married her longtime boyfriend last September, finished her masters the year before and is working full time. Our 30 year old is an RN, spent 2 years in the Peace Corps and is getting a masters while working. Simply put, they are adults.

[@natashamann5455]

Well pin a rose on you lol

[@TheComicVault]

I’m 29 and live with my partner’s family. They’re very wealthy and we were blessed enough to be housed by them throughout Covid and while establishing our media production business. We’ve been able to save over $100,000 by staying with them and are now looking into buying or possibly renting depending on the ideal place that comes on the market - we’re in no rush though and will be vacating in the next 6-12 months with established careers and a small fortune we otherwise would have sunk into a similar space and been way further behind in where we want to be. Overall though, I’m elated that we were given this opportunity and I now consider my partner’s family as much my family as true blood. Of course this is a very specific scenario that was fostered by the pandemic, but overall I found it a good thing for our personal growth and focus in a particular (career) aspect of our lives.

[@Kirstin7258]

Mammy's meatballs? Hun... I'm glad to hear you're open-minded enough to have given either of the first 2 guys a chance but, seriously!? What are you doing? You shouldn't have given either of them a chance. Seriously! 1. You don't need a guy. 2. If you want to meet one, then be intentional about who you're going to meet. It's another form of minimalism. Not wasting time. TIME IS MONEY ;-) x

[@GigaChad_169]

True...I have the same problem...I give people too much of my time thinking that maybe they're different...spoiler alert...if they look like a loser, talk like a loser, act like a loser...they're a loser...

[@SamClemens-id3cl]

There is a HUGE problem today im finding either men or women who feel like they are adults. Sorry, not sorry ; but its worse with men and statistics show that (its not just prejudice). I feel like things were different when i was younger. However, when i was younger, i was around professional level people. Now I'm around blue collar level people. So, I'm not certain if the economy is the problem; or if more intelligent people are just more likely to thrive.....but i miss the old days of adult acting individuals.

[@navydivergary1237]

Out of all your videos I have watched this one is the best. I’m retired but work part time. I work with a lot of younger people and they really need to see this video. I’ll try to pass it on to them, hopefully they’ll take time out of their meaningless scrolling to watch it. Thanks. Keep up the good work.

[@chuck_howard]

I hope a lot of women in the dating game watch this and take your advice. Too many boys in adult bodies not wanting to grow up. I have been out of the dating scene for a very long time but it is probably much the same for mature guys looking for a responsible woman.

[@bansheesioux5569]

She talks mostly about how the system sucks.. yet now she mocks people who cant compete with the system. We cant all be doctors and lawyers and whats wrong with respecting your mom? Pretty normal in Europe. So youre saying that its materialism that dictates any amount of affection........i think alot of what she says is valid.( I mean most of her topics) But she overlooks that most people are in those type of situations because of narcissistic abuse from family and other reasons. Some of us are borderline suicidal because no matter what we do or how hard we try, will never get to have a decent job and/human affection. All because we arent good enough for the rat race. ( I still like most of her thoughts and videos. But this one hurts

[@ojyochan]

Mommy meatballs is already "married" to his mom😅

[@AccordingtoNicole]

Yup

[@nvc.]

I think that millennials felt that they hould never earn enough to be independent. Since generations before built their wealth by getting married and combining their lives, millennials are not getting married as much, so they just stay where they are, not thinking about moving because buying a house alone is really hard. It's easier when there are two people to buy one house. Since millennials don't have the burden of paying for the house and have no expenses, they just lose the sense of responsibility for preparing for the future, taking care of finances, and creating a better life for themselves. Staying at your parent's house until late is not good because it makes you dependent.

[@mirisoji8406]

Loved this video, the trades are still a very good suggestion too, those are always in need. Pulling your own weight is also something I needed to hear. I pay my own bills and split expenses with my BF but it is true that becuase I only make a 3rd of what he does, that it does keep us in a certain spending range I can afford. So far this has been ok though since we both save a lot and our apartment is much cheaper for the area we are in. He goes above and beyond though in keeping our place clean, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning my cats litter box, getting my cat food sometimes, doing laundry, and he pays for his own car expenses as I don't have a car. I really need to step it up becuase I have definetly not been doing my fair share and realize that I'm taking everything he does for granted Thank you so much for the critism, I need to be better for my partner!

[@SoulfulVeg]

"Mommy's Meatballs" made me crack up. 😂 And sorry that the bar for dating is in hell. My daughter is around your age and married a nice fellow last year. Keep your standards up & best wishes. 🥰

[@xlerb2286]

I admit I lived with my parent until I was 25 or so. But that was and still is common with farm families. You work on the farm, and part of the deal is often a place to live and meals. Many times that continues for years and the kid takes over farm operations and the parents move out of the "big house" and the kid and their family move in. In my case I didn't stay there or take over the farm. But I still worked darn hard for that room and board :)

[@offgridsolitude]

You put a "societal" spin on it. But it just sounds like a few bad dates to me. Perhaps focus on a more professional crowd. The "artistic" crowd doesn't prioritize things like jobs and future plans. I think you might be fishing in the wrong pond. That's all.

[@GigaChad_169]

Good point. Thanks for the comment. I could use this advice also.

[@Lilaliba88]

Answering your questions: was 15 when I moved out (alone to another country, for a special highschool of gifted music students), then my parents covered my expenses since I had school whole 8am-6/7pm and at 6am I was already practicing. When I finished highschool and started music academy I started teaching privately and that made me financially completely independent by the age of 20, now I have my own flat (my parents helped a lot with that because they could and this way I don't owe money to anyone, no debt/mortgage etc., but actually flats in Romania are not that crazy expensive like in the Western world), I am 36, work in a state orchestra, have a husband and a toddler. Yes, I am "adulting" as well and hate the expression too😂😂 I love your video though, always happy to see the new one😄 And could not agree more: your life is great enough on its own and it's not worth sharing with anyone when that means you have to lower your standards or raise your expenses in order for it to be sustainable. Better alone anyone than with someone who is "disabled on purpose".

[@covahsmusicvault8953]

I'm responding to your impressive comment mostly because folks in the states insist I'm much better off here than having grown up in Sibiu, Romania. My birth parents were killed when I was just 6 months of age. My mum's grandmei was in my life till I was almost 5...so I've no blood family outside the states. I just turned 53 last Friday yet grew up in all sorts of ways just shy of 5. My children will be 34 & 32 this August. Both are estranged from me...much having to do with their inability to accept my work injury which has left me physically-impaired since their preteen years. I was their *ever-tumbling boulder.* Now I'm at the mercy of govt. benefits due to a spinal cord work injury that has left me with violent seizures and nocturnal oxygen treatments just to keep myself alive. I think I'd be dead were it not for the stubborn bloodline that bounces through my crippled cage. Most folks in the states choose to pity my situation, claiming "they'd just off themselves if they were me." So even though I'd likely benefit from a helper, I choose to keep what's left of my dignity and force myself into constant adaptation so my senior dogs & I can remain in our home of choice. The only positive outcome of my forced impairments was when a Work Comp judge awarded me back pay in late 2019. It wasn't much but enough to put down on a home in 2021. Stability was nonexistent in all of our lives till I made that choice...I even purchased it with both my children in mind as well as slight possibility of future bloodlines. As it stands, I seem to be the ONLY person out of the 4 of us who has any sort of real stability. I've NO tears for him/my ex, but I worry 24/7 for my children. Each pay in 1 month for a singular room {no kitchen privileges} what I pay for my entire mortgage & all utilities in almost 3 months. I'm NOT begging them to move in. I just cannot fathom how they can complain about their struggles when I purposely bought the kids & I a split-level dwelling. Either could fully reside in this house w/o living back home due to the layout of my house. Myself & senior dogs live on its smaller main floor and the downstairs has everything needed less a stove. I promised myself and children if I ever received funds from those who shattered our lives....I'd do my best to repair it by purchasing us a forever home in which any of the 3 of us could safely reside. I have NO property in either of my birth parents' countries, so this dwelling begins with me. My daughter/the eldest...recently told me she didn't want it because "it's in the U.S." That makes me livid because neither of my kids were born abroad and both are educated enough to stop struggling. They tell me I made it difficult to "fit in with their peers" because I raised them with independent values. I love them very much....however, I've NO clue why they choose to struggle. Any input would be appreciated. Hugs, ~ Covah

[@dougf9900]

The failure to become an independent adult is becoming a real problem in society. People in their 30s still with the mindset towards life of someone in their teens. I know mid 30's millennials who have still never lived independently. They have always had someone who would be considered as the "adult" housing them. While they have worked and achieved other adult milestones (if you call debt and out of wedlock children adult milestones) having the backstop of a real adult housing them has meant that they are free to be irresponsible in other facets of life. Sure, the ideal of being a young adult living at home while saving tons of money sounds great, but that's not what is happening for too many young adults. They are using the luxury of permissive parents to continue childhood well into adulthood. They will severely regret this when they get into their 40s and 50s and their parents can no longer house them. Stepping out into the world for the first time late in life, penniless, will be very hard for these people.

[@kerryf9796]

Gen X here. I fell in love at 18 with my best friend. We got married two months after graduating from college. If my mom could have kept me living at home forever. Not to take care of me, though. She said, "You would cook and clean for me. I'm not stupid, lol!" I couldn't WAIT to move out, though! My husband's mom had been staying with her parents to help take care of her dad, so we stayed at her house. We decided to buy the house from her because she had trouble keeping up with mortgage, and had to take care of her parents anyway. It was in disrepair, so we we remodeled it all on our own. We ended up living there for 20 years, selling it at a nice profit and purchasing a larger home over 10 years ago.

[@HotepSaoirse]

8:11 it’s not because they don’t want to earn a decent income. It’s because they can’t. I don’t know about Canada but the only way to get a decent life style you need at least $50,000-$70,000. Most jobs that are available are very low paying and you need at least 2 jobs. And don’t come at me with xyz job report says that some amount of jobs. They double count people who get multiple jobs. Mind you I live in the metro Atlanta area, for perspective, rooming with a relative until I can afford to move.

[@marcdc6809]

It sure makes sense to look for a partner that has similar mindset as you, and even more important, that he shows interest... the second was indeed telling that he'd rather have a date with his mom than with you. I'm gen X, born during the oil crisis of the 70's... somehow expectations had been amazing in the second half of the sixties and it was a horrible wake up call in the 70's, the sky was not the limit, everybody back with both feet on the ground.

[@maxinethompson37]

If can't afford to date, then don't. Work on yourself instead (on employment skills and money skills). Splitting the bills is done in friendships, not dating, btw.

[@bunny_smith]

I think sometimes people express they have no interest in changing their sub-par lifestyle because they're embarrassed by their job and they want to appear as if they aren't. But maybe you're right and there is a complete generation that just doesn't want to grow up. My generation is not like that.

[@GigaChad_169]

A lot of people have no interest in changing their sub-par lifestyle because they're comfortable. That's it. When people get uncomfortable, that lights a fire under their butt to do something. Modern life has become very comfortable, even for people on the lower end of the socioeconomic ladder as compared to human existence historically. Life was A LOT harder historically than it is today by all measures.

[@stevethomas5209]

Your going to drive him nuts. Lol not really Nicole your a real catch for the right guy. Dating is complex but you will do just fine your cute and intelligent the right guy will come along in due time. Im married 37 years i found a good woman but if I were dating today at your age I would certainly ask you out and get to know you better. Like i said your a real prize catch girl. Wishing you luck .

[@Christian-qu9ml]

You are a good egg, Nicole. Best wishes from Australia.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

Fun fact about eggs. They come out of a chickens butt because chickens only have 1 hole.

[@SamhainBe]

@@AccordingtoNicole "cloaca" fact - nice!

[@iamjane9628]

@@AccordingtoNicole 🤣🤣🤣

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

That’s why they’re called Butt Nuggets

[@Christian-qu9ml]

Well, I had to google this, lol. I did not know this. One learns something new every day! 😂

[@JP-ve7or]

Interesting. To me, "adulting" was kind of a joke or meme. I used it when I forced myself to do some deeply unpleasant task, like getting a mammogram. I guess the definition has bloomed into a much bigger concept since then.

[@jadedelarge8929]

I wish I had you as someone to look up and listen to when I was a teenager. You are so on point with the way you think and live your life. I am 68 now and kind of late, lol, but I enjoy your videos immensely ❤

[@violetlight8138]

Yeah its a major turnoff for a guy to live with his mommy and not be able to afford dinner and not be upwardly mobil with no ambition. My last ex boyfriend was broke and had no desire to make more money. Im xgen and am used to men paying most of the time. It was always 5050 for us. We also were in an open relationship and we went out to dinner with his other girlfriend and he made sure to only pay for his dinner. Here he has two beautiful women on his arm and he only paid for himself. It was the last straw for me.

[@brianlillis5652]

I was 21 when I moved out because my girlfriend was pregnant. I was still a dumb kid and had to grow up real fast! Even in the late 90s this was not the norm among people I knew. All my friends were still single and living at home, living their single lives right through into their 30s and for a while I jealous! But now I'm in my late 40s and my kids have all grown up and they're only just starting families - I wouldn't have the energy to be doing all that now!

[@corij3600]

Obsessed with your channel. I've always been pretty independent: moved out at 18 and never went back. I'm 36 now, 2 children (sadly divorced), own a home, work full time, and go to school. When I started dating after my divorce I was pretty stunned when my brother told me I was shallow for expecting someone just as reliable and hardworking as I am (yikes). I do feel like I won the lottery though and met that person. We both own our own homes, work full time, and push each other to do more. Our free time is spent on home care, car maintenance, or learning new skills and teaching my sons all of these things as well...I would never accept less than what I have in this partnership now.❤

[@Kirstin7258]

I doubt you use Better Help, Nicole. I doubt you use Athletic Greens, either, as you otherwise recommended.. I was extremely happy to learn on your last video however (I think that's where it was) that you're learning that you can afford to spend at least some money on things that may otherwise seem extravagant to people such as my Mum (not that you know her... she spends nothing)... Real wealth comes from things like the love of a loyal dog, as you know ;-) Thanks again for all your videos XXX

[@AccordingtoNicole]

I don’t need to convince you of anything, but I do use both. I get enough brand offers that I don’t need to partner with a company I don’t like or find value in.

[@justb4116]

This is a second video I've seen on this channel, the first one was about scams. Was really surprised to hear betterhelp pitch. Totally understandable on one hand, raises questions on the other I've never used betterhelp but heard opposing opinions hence the question Could anyone share their experiences?

[@rangerannie5636]

Comment for the algorithm. 😊 Sacramento, California USA 🇺🇸