How Autism Has Changed My Life

A video about how Autism (Autism Spectrum Disorder/ASD) has affected my life and still does today. Autism, ASD, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, ADHD etc. are all incredibly complicated topics and hard to talk about, please feel free to (respectfully) let me know of anything you think is wrong with this video.
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Autism As A Disorder Of High Intelligence:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
High IQ Autistic People Learn Social Skills At A Price:
www.kcl.ac.uk/archive/news/io...
The Misnomer Of "High-Functioning" Autism:
journals.sagepub.com/doi/full...
"Support Needs" And Why That Makes More Sense To Me:
commentsfromthepecangallerybl...
Autism's Sex Ratio, Explained:
www.spectrumnews.org/news/aut...
0:00 - 4:30 Intro
4:30 - 11:16 Corrections
11:16 - 19:09 Perceptions Of Autism
19:09 - 37:32 How Autism Has Changed My Life
37:32 - 39:29 A Quick Aside
39:29 - 44:33 Closing Thoughts
44:33 - 49:55 Brief Update
49:55 - 51:13 Post-Video

[@NocturnalFudj]

Any help you can give to this video's visibility would be much appreciated, I'd love this to reach as many people on the spectrum as possible And please by all means, do feel free to (respectfully) pull me up on any mistakes I may have made Hope this video does somethin' for ya :)

[@abombtwin4986]

Thanks for this man. I’m going through first responder training right now and one of our assignments is on how we can help people with autism in our community. This video has been very insightful and helpful.

[@FunkyAnimations]

Just starting the video now, the first video was so incredibly helpful for me in understanding my autism. The story about your work experience was more helpful to me than almost any video I've watched on KZbin before. Thank you for what you do Fudj, you're one of the most inspirational channels on this site to me

[@FunkyAnimations]

Also I'll make sure to send it to my friends on the spectrum if they're interested!

[@MikeRitiques]

I'll do my best to share this video. I'm working on a charity event in Norwich to do with Autism in Norfolk with a company who have a gaming convention coming soon. Hopefully once we've secured a date some money can be raised and people can be helped.

[@jokx4409]

it has succeeded, well for me at least.

[@kozy4stuff678]

I didn't say this in the last video but I meant to: You saying that bit of "If scientists and professionals don't fully understand [autism], how can I expect [my family] to understand" is one of the most mature and empathetic things I have ever heard on the internet. Thank you.

[@ebebebeb7283]

it's fair to expect people not to act like assholes imo

[@Meese12]

One of my favorite little anecdotes was a tumblr post talking about how people say that autism is getting more and more common. In essence, the post said "the condition isnt getting more common, the world is just more hostile towards autistic people, so its more noticeable. Back in 15th century england, nobody was called autistic, but there was the strange little son of the blacksmith who doesn't really talk to anyone but is really good at churning butter." I dont know why i love it but its just so simple but it works so well

[@tristanneal9552]

That's interesting, because I would have said that the world is becoming more and more accommodating of neurodivergent people. Certainly awareness of those conditions is more of a public topic than it's ever been before. Maybe I'd argue that stigmatization of spectrum disordered individuals reached a peak sometime in the 20th century (when stigmatization of basically anything other than straight, white, male, and neutrotypical was an all time high) and we've been trying to come down from that ever since. At least in recent times, though, I would attribute the increasing levels of autism to better testing and an expansion of the definition of what behaviors spectrum disorders include.

[@ADeeSHUPA]

@@tristanneal9552 neurodivergent

[@tristanneal9552]

@@ADeeSHUPA ...I'm confused. Did I use the word incorrectly or...?

[@trueblade3636]

I am not disagreeing, nor agreeing Autism is getting more and more common, that's a fact. That does not necessarily mean that there are more autistic people. There are generally 3 reasons that there are more 'autistic' people: 1. People just did not know about autism. 2. It could be genetics 3. There are more people getting tested / the characteristics/qualifications are changed (a ''checklist'')

[@Meese12]

@@tristanneal9552 the world only has become as accommodating as it is because of how hostile its basic structures are. School and jobs lasting 8 or so hours a day and requiring you to sit still and focus on one task, large cities with tons of sounds and people that cause sensory issues, a lot of social interaction being necessary to make a living for yourself, etc. If the world wasn't in the state that it is, neurodivergent people wouldnt need as many exceptions.

[@jetstreamjackie3437]

I’ve known I was autistic since I was a young child, and it’s only now in adulthood that I’ve really started to come to terms with what that means. When you’re diagnosed at that age in America, you’re isolated from your peers in the name of “teaching you social skills”… which we would have learned regardless by interacting with other kids our age. I was told my autism was something that could be ‘overcome’, something you ‘grow out of’. In order to escape their Special Ed program I had to prove I could mask my autistic traits well enough to go to high school alone. It’s only now that I’ve been free of that awful system for so many years that I understand what Autism really is and how differently it affects those who have it. Autistics are expressive; we are creative; we are passionate; we are introspective. We love what we love so much. You’re right on the money about introspection: I firmly believe that’s the reason there’s such a large intersectionality between Autistic and Transgender people.

[@spongyoshi]

I'm from France and... I kinda had that as well. I had to fight my heart out to have the right to be treated like the other kids and avoid the constant bullying and setbacks put into me. However, when I got out of school, I basically wasn't me anymore, I could "pass", sure, but I'd just come-off as a "lesser" person. More lazy, selfish and/or stupid by default and so, it's even more of an uphill battle especially when you're tricked into feeling imposter syndrome for your own autism by our society. And when you finally accept yourself, you finally allow yourself to live more, even if you've forgot how that works, and you finally open-up on deep things about you that most people wouldn't. It's amazing, in a way, to introspect that much, but it's also a shame that it's done in such a way because building your own identity as an autistic person is so much more harder I feel like and it's also why I feel like there's such an intersectionality between the two.

[@BucketPls]

These videos are kind of magical. In a world that is often so dismissive, even by professionals on the topic, hearing someone be open and positive about the spectrum is such a breath of fresh air and those are often things that get ignored.

[@seamoose9039]

I really hope this video does well. In my experience, most media concerning autism is very... infantilizing? It tends to look down on autistic people (usually kids/teens), either by insulting them or talking about them as though they don't understand basic shit.

[@FunkyAnimations]

The segment about the overlap between trans/nonbinary people and people on the autism spectrum hit home really hard. I think you handled it great and as someone who is autistic and nonbinary, I've always had this thing where I would feel comfortable telling someone I was autistic, or nonbinary, but never both. I'd feel like in their head if I said I was nonbinary, and then said I was autistic, it would discredit my identity. Your explanation of how introspective people on the spectrum were, and how that can more easily lead to discoveries about gender or sexuality makes a lot of sense and does help me feel a lot better about that topic. Thank you for these videos, they're really important for a lot of people

[@-aexc-]

idk whats wrong with me but seeing non trans or political youtubers being able to talk well about trans issues genuinely makes me tear up from happiness.

[@Gemma-Majoran]

@Maya if i had to guess, perhaps its validation? They don't HAVE to say it, they don't "need" to say it, but they do, because it matters.

[@ErrorGaming64]

Yo I'm a non-binary autistic as well!

[@BBWahoo]

*laughs in borderline* I will always envy people who feel a cohesive sense of identity

[@sideways5153]

The angle I approach gender and sexuality from is less introspective and more analytical. I don’t identify as a man because I’ve never heard a convincing case for what that even means (I think that makes me non-binary without being trans?). I think the whole system of identifiers is fundamentally flawed. Like, take the concept of attraction. “Hetero-” and “homosexuality”, even ignoring the problems with inclusivity, imply that the traits of people you are attracted to are somehow related to the traits that you have. You can’t be “attracted to women”, there’s not word for that. You’re straight, or a lesbian, or something that competing pride groups have likely made up multiple different names for in order to accommodate NBs or something similarly overlooked. What does “being a man” have to do with who or what I’m attracted to? I’m not pan or bi, there’s not a remotely even distribution of gender in the people I find attractive- but at the same time I don’t discount gay attraction just because that very pretty person happens to be a boy. If the traits I’m attracted to aren’t cleanly attached to gender, why on earth would I expect anything else to cleanly fit into the gender system people have prescribed to me? I’m pretty closeted just for the sake of convenience; explaining why I shave my body hair or wear a skirt or lurk around the women’s clothing at the department store if I’m a man isn’t something I’m prepared to deal with, and I either don’t feel strongly enough about or can’t keep up with the maintenance of many gendered things anyway. In the end, though, it makes sense that many autistic people are trans or nonbinary from the opposite end of things, too. Autistic people not only introspect a great deal, they analyze the world around them extensively and thoroughly in order to keep pace with the type of nonsense neurotypical people invent. It’s like finding out that autistic people are much more likely to state that they don’t identify as cat people or dog people, or don’t believe in astrology. The only difference between being an Aries and being a boy is that I wasn’t raised in a world that forces you to use a different bathroom if you were born in April than if you were born in September.

[@tyeus3673]

Never in my life has a video so succinctly identified my struggles with being autistic. I can relate to almost everything you said on a personal level, especially the bit about KZbin being the only job you *can do*, how working is so mentally and emotionally draining that whilst having to pretend to be neurotypical, you begin lementing how sad and meaningless it feels to be stifled by the conditions and how you fear the possibility of that being what you do the rest of your life. I've worked 3 jobs, 2 in food service, and one job as a general laborer at a warehouse. The longest I've worked was 8 months, and for 3 years now I've been unemployed and essentially trapped at home, where the only value I can provide to my family is basic chores and emotional support. I constantly feel useless because of my inability to work, and I had a friend recently give up on me because he thought I was using my autism as an excuse to not work. Of course, money problems are a constant problem for me as well. If I can't do KZbin, what CAN I do? It feels like the only chance I have to be happy, but getting the money for a computer, editing software, and all the other things that I have no experience with is a brick wall between me and some semblance of self fulfillment. I just want to be happy, man. Idk what to do 😔

[@wyvern0m3g42]

I can't believe how your comment can hit so close to home for me, even though I haven't gone through everything you have. In that regard, you have my most sincere sympathies. I can't say whether I have autism or not because I feel as though I've had mixed signals given to me in my young adulthood, but I can relate to some of what you've said. There are days where I feel that regardless of how bad of a platform it has become lately, I still feel tempted to make a serious attempt at entertaining others through KZbin. Both for the sake of being productive and having an income, and for my own personal creative ambitions and desires. Albeit, one of the things holding me back is that lack of proper equipment and software that you've mentioned. And while I wouldn't mind sucking it up and trying to get an offline job (mostly so that I feel like I fit in with the rest of society; if almost everyone else gets to do something, then I want to do it at least once in my life too,) something tells me I'd have a mental breakdown from trying to cope with socializing with so many different people in public and not upset or offend someone with my behavior. It sucks, you know? Damned if you, damned if you don't. Anyway though, that's left me stuck at home for many years too, and I don't really get to contribute much either. Just whatever emotional support I can offer and any house work or yard work I manage to get done. Like you, I feel useless and just want to be happy. Or more specifically, I want to feel like I'm actually living my life, instead of being stuck in this rut. It's driving me crazy. So since I can relate in some way, I guess your comment hit me pretty hard just now. I'm hoping things get better for you; no one deserves to be stuck or miserable like this.

[@jarotaro]

Fair Use Fudge had a real breakout performance in this episode, definitely a fan favorite character if I've ever seen one

[@alexrawlings541]

Your first video was partially responsible for helping me to realize that I may have ASD. After I got diagnosed with ADHD late last year, my psychologist suggested that she saw in me some symptoms of ASD and let me know that getting tested for it was an option. Eventually I decided to go for it and I was diagnosed. When you talked about how getting diagnosed as an adult sucks, I felt that (though I didn’t really have a bad experience). I’ve naturally just built up habits and mechanisms that make it difficult to detect my autism and so the only way I was able to be diagnosed was by hearing about what I was like as a child. Honestly I still don’t know what to do with this information, especially since I’m very much on the Low Support Needs end of the spectrum. I feel like I can’t tell people about it because it would create a bunch of questions rather than clear anything up. Regardless, thank you for sharing your story. It’s always encouraging to hear from you!

[@alexrawlings541]

Also, I know you probably know this and I know it sucks, but if you want your videos to do better, you gotta censor yourself a little bit. KZbin doesn’t like bad words

[@hgarr]

Another fantastic video! I will leave a comment for the algorithm. As an autistic person who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome as a child at the age of 10 (2010), I wouId watch other kids in the playground and wonder why I felt so different and alienated. I felt so enlightened when I found out why! However, despite my parent's best efforts to understand, they would use 'Asperger's' to humiliate me whenever I did something wrong. They would threaten to move me into special ed in high school (where I live, there is only 'Primary school and 'High School', no 'Middle School'). Because of this, I spent a lot of effort in my teenage years trying to be more "normal". This was probably the biggest mistake of my life. Despite this, I like my life right now, I am lucky enough to have a job I like, and feel mostly happy. The fact that most Autistic people can't say the same, however, is an absolute tragedy, and I sincerely hope that the world becomes more kind to us in coming years. Content like this will help tremendously. Your previous video got over 100k views, after all, which is a lot in the context of autism. With all of the people who got diagnosed because of these videos, (think about how many did, but didn't comment as well) you could contribute a lot to creating a better world for us. Keep up the good work, and I wish you good luck in your life!

[@SimpletonSMan]

I have no idea if I'm autistic but I relate to this a shit ton. Here is my cool gamer advice: for tasks that most people can do but you can't, just accept that it's harder for you to do, but it won't be impossible to learn. Break down tasks like tieing your shoes to a science. Make as clear of a picture possible on how to tie shoes. A lot of those tasks will also be met with shame, shame of not being able to do them, understand that shame is a roadblock and wont help you get the task done. Shame is there for a reason, it's part of masking, it's why you're able to blend in. But you have to ignore it when trying to do tasks. But yeah just thought I'd give that a shot shrug emoji

[@mushroomdude123]

30:26 I’m so glad you brought this up at all. My tendency to obsess about things endlessly is something that I’ve been ashamed to even think about, let alone talk to anyone about. I feel so much less like a wierdo who only ever thinks about/does one thing. It’s something I try to control, and even channeled into improving at drawing/coding, but in the end it’s just linked to who I am.

[@TheSandwichesOfEpic]

I watched your first video on autism before my ASD diagnosis, and this one after it. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that your first video changed my life; it made me seriously want to try and get a clear answer, after so much confusion and feeling like I didn't belong. It reoriented my career trajectory as well, as after I had this diagnosis, I transferred collages to pursue my true passion - writing music for video games. Making friends here has been hard, but much more doable after knowing myself better. This video was a very good follow-up, and I want to send it to my neurotypical friends for them to learn from. Particularly what you said in this video about trans and non-binary people is true - I am a trans woman, and I am glad that you brought this up, and clarified the real reason behind this correlation. It was very interesting to hear you again on this same topic from a much different point in my life, even after just ten months. I love all your other videos about video games too, so I'm really glad you're continuing youtube. (Also, Undertale is one of my special interests, so I hope you enjoy it.)

[@MattHedgern]

43:31 Honestly, this weirdly hit home for me. A message I feel like I really needed to hear, after the last couple years being some of the lowest points in my life, which just so happened to be coupled with by far my favorite Monster Hunter village theme, one I've associated for a while now with peace, support, and tranquility. I know I'm just one random dingus in the KZbin comments section, but sincerely, thank you.

[@tristanneal9552]

Idk anything about your life, but my last couple of years have been fucking awful so I really vibed with your comment. Hope it gets better for you soon

[@poacherthenn]

19:17 Hit hard, I've always struggled with motivation for school even though I've always done extremely well. I always have a sense of dread with me when I'm not there, but I never found anybody who felt the same. After watching this it really clicked for me, that I wasn't the only person experiencing similar feelings and that I'm not trapped, thank you.

[@Aerie1405]

I have yet to watch the video but I really fucking appreciate you talking about this stuff as I've had to live with autism my entire life, your last video on this felt incredibly validating.

[@Hamius]

As someone who is on the spectrum myself, thank you so much for your content and discussing this topic. I have had several similarities to what you've described. When you got into the relationship side of it, it really made me feel less alone. the fear of letting others down, not being enough and being too clingy is very real to me. You've done a great job on research! Hearing you're personal struggles and how you've overcome them, but also admitting that there's still some struggles that you may still have is something I can relate to a lot. I needed to hear this and it really helps. Thank you!

[@user-se3yh1bv4s]

I'm not sure if I want the diagnosis anymore. I'm scared of how the state might treat me as a "disabled" person in the future, possibly denying me agency which I already worry about enough as a trans person. I already have the right to support structures by being diagnosed with severe depression. I still have a 100 page or so ASD/ADHD questionnaire sit in my room, including questions for friends and parents. Knowing I'm autistic for myself is enough. It helps me understand myself.

[@aymanaboufarise4346]

Glad you decided to talk about this subject again, the last video was very interesting and introduced me to your channel.

[@costelinha1867]

"Autistic people tend to have a habit of always thinking they're right" To the contrary, I have a habit of always thinking I did or am doing something wrong.

[@UmbraStarWolf]

I have severe dyspraxia and autism I don’t have much problems with my autism as I had my diagnosis at 5. My dyspraxia is so bad it is considered a disability. Many people I talk to think its my autism but I just can’t work in any manual or social settings. I could live off government support but I don’t want to. One day I will find something I both want to do and can do. My mom says there are as many forms of autism as there are autistic people

[@emerson_5]

Man, you just continue to deliver. Every upload is superb, and the careful consideration you clearly put into this work is something I really respect. The through-line of difference and it’s benefits and challenges was beautiful. I hope this *art* gets you to the point where going viral isn’t a necessity.

[@clearandsweet]

Man, my therapist gave me the "I never would have guessed" line. The "Hey thanks, it's the trauma and 20 years of forcefully faking it" response is me in a nutshell.

[@Tron1110]

this video really hit home for me who has aspergers. growing up my handwriting was terrible and i flapped my hands,and moved my arms like crazy. i also was terrified of fire drills at school and would get scared to tears cause of it. however, this doesnt have to define me i can still make a huge impact with time, dedication and whatever energy i have. youre channel puts a smile on my face every time i watch your reviews and it helps me whos struggling with self hatred and self doubt. seriously thank you for making the content you do and im excited to see what you can create in the future

[@CharzBall]

havent finished the video yet, but i watched the first video last night and can relate to many of the frustrations that you were covering. I have ADHD and its the first time i felt understood when it comes to not being able to do things as easy as others and the intense introspection i go through everyday, hearing and seeing how you've been able to get by whiles expressing the creative part of yourself has given me with hope so I thank you.

[@Ivy64_]

To add to the depictions of autism in media, it can be really subtle. obviously there is still this binary view of autism, but I think I fall into this band where people might have a suspicion I'm autistic but they probably doubt themselves. I had a pretty close friend in secondary school, talked pretty much every day for 3-4 years. They found out I was autistic when I told them in my last week of school. They themselve have autism as well. It shows that you can't just look at someone and go "oh yeah, they're autistic". I'm very luckly to have gotten such an early diagnosis, I think I was 9 or 10, and I sympathise with anyone who can't get the answers they deserve. btw, I can't tie laces either. I highly recommend elastic laces, turns everything into a slip-on shoe. also, I can't read 24 hour clocks.

[@jenaf3760]

stuff I hate: animated menu screens in restaurants. Thats just a reason for me to instantly leave that restaurant.

[@greatscornholio]

idk if this was intentional but at 42:27 “yeah. that’s me. i have flaws” perfectly timed with just unforcedly waltzing off the edge of the map is hilarious

[@NocturnalFudj]

No it was intentional lool

[@callummacdonald9610]

Another great video Fudj. I'm not on the autistic myself but you've been a very positive influence in my understanding of what it's like to live with autism and be on the spectrum. I commend you good sir.

[@NottJoeyOfficial]

I have parents who absolutely refused to get me diagnosed for autism, and took one single person I went to twice for half hour sessions saying I was just "quirky" as confirmation that I wasn't autistic. Now I'm 24 and self diagnosed because there's no other option, the older you get the more impossible it is to get diagnosed if I even knew where to start. I didn't even realize I was autistic myself until my 20s, even if my friends figured it out years before me. Everything that I went through as a kid makes so much sense when I look at it through an autistic lens, and I may never know what exactly I have. It makes adult life very hard too though, because like you said, jobs are terrible. I quit my terrible job at Burger King a few weeks after having my first actual panic attack due to being over stimulated in my life. I have had too much stimulation before, but nothing has ever felt as terrible as it happening surrounded by people I don't really know in a place where I couldn't remove myself from the situation. My parents still aren't understanding or supportive of me, and they're telling me I need to get a full time job with the college degree I got because they made me go to college. The problem is, I feel like if I got a full time job I would want to do something very very bad to myself, I already struggle with those thoughts when it comes to good days, so I hate to think what spending less time with my friend would be like. My friends are the only support I have in life because they're the only ones who see me as autistic and try to support me with how I do things. I applied to several jobs and none of them got back to me, and I'm out of money for the most part and can't pay the few bills I do have. My parents have constantly thought I'm just lazy and don't want to work, but I absolutely do want to work. I just don't want to work myself to death, and it's so hard to actually get a job. I spend more and more time on my computer in order to spend as much time as possible with my supportive friends, and it just leads to my dad calling me more and more lazy all the time. He even called me a "lazy play baby" who "only plays games all night" because of this. It feels terrible, and I wish they were supportive of me because it leads to a loop of me being even more distant and spending even more time on my computer to be with my friends. I hope to be in a better situation soon, and I will get a full time job in my career field eventually, but it's so hard to go through this world that isn't made for me. My dream would be to live in Japan and make documentaries and other types of videos. I went to college for video production, so I hope that helps me get a job like that in the future, but it's such an uphill battle in life to try and work at. Thank you so much for the video, the videos on autism you have done have made me feel not alone with all of this. I can't comprehend people who are neurotypical at all, and it's such a foreign concept to me. It's so hard, so videos like this help a lot. Thank you so much for your stories.

[@Floridamangaming729]

Well my parents knew i was autistic since i was like born pretty much. But i didnt know until i was around 13. Id say my mental illnesses in general were at there worst during puberty. Which is common for even "normal" people. Because when i turned 18 everything just all of sudden changed and i started acting like a adult and stuff. Like i snapped in a good way. I still have alot of maturing and learning to do but comparing my current life to my oast difference is staggering. It was probably the stress of school. Once i dropped out and got my GED i was way happier.

[@garfieldisgod3656]

Haven't watched the video yet but I just wanna say that I'm really grateful for you helping to spread awareness about autism, it really helps make it easier for me to deal with it and I'm glad that you're open about your struggles. Keep up the good work! Edit: Just finished watching and goddamn... You really hit the nail on the head on alot of your points. You made me realise some things ive always noticed but i just couldnt quite understand why they were happening or why i was like that, thank you so much for making these videos

[@tristanneal9552]

I had no idea Hans Asperger was a Nazi, but the rapid abandonment of that term makes SO much sense now...

[@anactualviolist]

I adore videos like this and this one in particular has really gotten me to think about some things. Being neurotypical myself and having a mom who works as an elementary school psychologist, I didn't entirely understand who she worked with on a daily basis, I always saw them as numbers, if that makes any sense. "Oh, my mom has 3 reports due this month, that's 3 people who either are on the spectrum or not," and that kind of stuff, but hearing your story has led me to see the other side and what those 9 or 10 year old's go through every day of their life and many days after. It seemed almost like a doctor diagnosing some form of illness, when it really is much, much more than that. These are people, just like the rest of us, who see the world in a new and interesting light, and they have to treated as such. I hope you continue to make videos like this in the future, along with the normal video essay content you've made in the past!

[@renaigh]

as an AMAB Trans Person I was diagnosed quite early on in my life, so early I never really knew what it meant to have Autism and no one felt to the need to explain it, so I wanna thank you for this and your previous video despite its flaws.

[@SpiritProductions99]

at the very end, it made me cry. I've been on the spectrum all my life, I lived in a crappy home with a emotionally and mentally abusive mother in my early adulthood. After getting out of that environment, I found out about so much about myself that couldn't have been possible without staying in that environment for that amount of time. I'm currently am a part of a committee that is hoping to slowly change services for the better and hell I even published a short story and have been working on a novel for the past year. It took me so long to find what I wanted to do, to find what I wanted in myself and to see that I am something. I didn't have that vision for so long because my mother never understood that I had autism. I was diagnosed but she never really understood. Now I'm in my second semester of college, I have a job I'm going to be at for 2 years in June, I stream and do all kinds of things that will help the disabled community yet I don't consider myself a part of that community. I'm finally confident in myself enough to move into the dorms because of specific things in my life finally going forward after waiting months and months. I can finally move forward and fix myself from all the trauma and put my negatives into positives things.

[@holdommi7505]

This video gives me a lot of feels haha… I’m 22 and have known I have ADHD my whole life, but only really understood it for the past 2 years and had help and treatment for it since october 2021! And ever since covid started, and my understanding of mental health has drastically expanded, I’ve had the question “Have I been autistic all this time, too?” Runs through my head constantly. Quite literally every single day. I’m really scared to bring it up to my family and therapist because of the stigma that it is a developmental disorder and clearly it “didn’t affect me that negatively” so i can’t have it, right? I dunno, I have awesome online friends who listen to me and treat me well, so maybe my confidence will grow and I’ll learn to be assertive enough to ask for help in the future, but to you and everyone else watching who’s somewhere on the autism or ADHD or whatever else spectrums, we all matter and deserve to live in a society that works for us, too ❤️ We’re not worse, we’re not better… just different!

[@matthewlopez8987]

I love that bit at the end about boundaries. It seemed like a nice, loving, but very stern way of letting everyone know that you appreciate them but back the fuck up 🤣. I wish I could catch you live on stream because I would love to see you, the person, unedited and unscripted. Also, I want to thank you for all the times that you give hints to or outright state how bleak things can be with autism when it comes to social interaction. So many people, in my opinion, are ignored because they have genuine issues but are afraid to say what they are feeling because they think what they feel might be overdramatic to other people. So instead, they keep things vague like "I feel bad" or worse, tell the people they talk to that those people are jerks but don't give enough detail as to why they feel that way.

[@SortaSpooby]

I have autism too you did a great job with this video

[@lilpetz500]

Ahh, I recently had a diagnosis of autism, and relate a lot to so many of these points you've made but just couldn't think clearly on the day. I just barely scratched the surface.

[@tristanneal9552]

As a neurotypical person, I think what surprised me most about this video is how much I could relate to it. Of course, not all of it; I would never claim to have had the experiences autistic people have. But just more on the level of the emotions and insecurities and anxieties. If spectrum disorders really are essentially min-maxing different attributes, perhaps we are all experiencing the same internal things and it's just that autistic people experience some of those things more and some of those things less. I think there's something kind of beautiful about that idea, and it's something I think could really help build bridges and establish common ground between people who might otherwise have a hard time understanding each other.

[@KittyPieKris]

"i never would have guessed you're on the spectrum!" "thanks, that's the trauma!" just got me so bad. i've had that exact exchange with more people than i care to count at this point. i'm in a similar place where i've known that i'm autistic for over 10 years at this point, and most people wouldn't know by looking at me, especially because of how i've curated my life. (also i cannot believe i didn't see this when it came out, i've been subscribed for ages and it must have slipped past me.) your videos continue to be excellent, and i thank you for your perspective and insight.

[@hopestarr9869]

My husband is autistic and the part about constantly analyzing people (and almost always being accurate) is very true for him. His mom studied psychology and was a licensed therapist for a few years, so the trait is probably compounded for him. For me it’s something I really value, because I’m so bad at knowing what people are thinking and picking up obvious signals from them (yay social anxiety…). However, it has caused issues in the past with people not wanting to hear about it, especially about themselves. Nowadays, I think we have some people around who are actually pretty okay with whatever he has to say, but he feels like saying anything to anyone could cause them to get upset, so it causes himself more turmoil trying to know what people are willing to hear and not, rather than upsetting the people around him.

[@XarrotD]

I watched and left a comment on your last video, and I'm glad I took the time to watch this one too. It's nice to see someone talk about how their experience is so similar, and so different from mine. I've been especially introspective since the last video and I've discovered some positive new things (like that I'm non-binary) and a lot of negative ones (like how I generally feel I have a lack of creativity and how I definitely have misophonia, which is not compatible with having a league of legends player as your roommate). This introspection has gone so far as to make me question whether I'm even autistic, and hearing you talk about how it's so common for autistic people to do such a thing is reassuring. I've gone to college now and after watching this, I feel a serious urge to suddenly shift my focus into something more creative instead of standardized into the future to potentially tap into myself a lot better, because I don't know if I can survive a 9-5 job where all I do is program random stuff that I don't care about. Maybe it'll go well, who knows, but for now, I'll try and find a path I can comfortably go down to take advantage of my interests in the best way possible. Sorry if this was a bit rant-y, I just have a lot on my mind after watching this video, and I mean that in the best possible way because I love thinking about random stuff like this for nearly no reason, so thanks for giving me another reason to do so. Love the vids, keep them up

[@dragytd717]

Thank you so much for this video. Although I've never gotten any sort of diagnosis, many of the points in both of these 2 videos really hit home for me. I don't exactly know how to say some of the things I'm going to say, and it'll probably be a bit clunky, so please, bear with me. Ever since I was young, I've always had trouble with social interaction. I really noticed when I got to middle school though. I think part of that was that many of the difficulties and differences that I had shown as a kid were more accepted and excused by society because "he's just a kid." So it took me a little bit to really realize this. I'm not good at introducing myself to people and even then, it's hard for me to grow a deeper connection to people. I think part of it is that I don't know what to say a lot of the time, but I also am worried about saying something that will push people away or make them weirded out. I've always had trouble with trying to have people like me. I'm not sure if it's seeking approval or that I just don't want people to dislike me. I'm not sure what it is. I still struggle with that to this day. People say, not everyone will like you, but I still haven't gotten over that. I would consider the friends that I have to be very weird people that most people wouldn't gravitate towards, but I think I've finally figured out why I've been drawn to these types of people. They're typically more open and less judgy. I really feel like I can say anything around them and they'd be just fine with it. It helps alleviate my fears of alienating people. I really like being around my friends, they make me the happiest that I ever could be, but I have trouble making friends and growing the connection with them. I'm always ready to help my friends with anything, no matter what's going on in my life. I just always feel like I need to help them, even if I may be having difficulties of my own. I always have pushed away my own struggles and worries to help my friends before myself. Part of that might be the fact that I'm extremely empathetic towards other people, but not so much to myself. Many of the feelings I feel when I'm by myself are very neutral and mostly apathetic. But the emotions I end up feeling are usually from other people. It's so strong that I really feel the emotions of others on a screen from a video or movie. Even if I know that it's fake, like fake crying or something, it makes me feel like I'm going to start crying and makes me feel sad, even though I know it's fake. I feel the feelings of others as if they're my own, but mine just aren't really there. Whenever people ask me how I'm doing, I say I'm good, but in reality, I'm not really happy or sad or angry, or anything. Just neutral and apathetic. If I ever try to explain that I feel neutral and that's what's "good," they just don't understand and most don't want to understand besides a little bit of curiosity. People ask me why I haven't been in a relationship yet at 17 and how many women would love to have a guy like me, but I've never really tried or cared enough to go after a relationship with someone. At least not right now. I would love to have one eventually, to have a deeper connection with someone, but I haven't really pursued it. It's like, I would like something deeper, but I don't know how to get to that point, and I don't really end up pursuing them either. Your struggles on working a "normal" job really rings home for me. I used to work at a factory, they had a teenage program there, and just working there for 6 hours 4-5 times a week was one of the most draining things of my life. I never wanted to do anything before work even though I had plenty of time for it because I was hung up about how I need to leave at this time to get to work at this time to do my job and leave at this time. It was in my head most of the day, even on days where I wasn't working. I felt like all of my creative contributions were being drained and that I was just a lifeless worker put through a system that doesn't accommodate my aspirations and talents. From a young age I've always needed to do things a certain way. I always stack my clothes the same way, I always shower the same way, I just go through life the same way. Not exactly planned out or anything, but I need to do things in a certain way or in a certain order to get them done. Whenever something new happens that I didn't expect, it's hard for me to adjust to the new changes and I find myself obsessing over making sure that I'm ready for it to happen, even days ahead of time, and I get ready for things sometimes hours before I need to go to them because I don't want to be late and I've been thinking about it since I knew about it. I always have a problem getting obsessed too. For example, one day, I'll be completely obsessed with playing the piano and becoming really good at it and the next day, I'll completely drop it and be obsessed with drawing and the cycle continues. There are very few things that I've had a continued interest towards in my life. Things that come to mind are certain movies, shows, and video games. I get completely obsessed with those things that I get attached to, but it either is a fleeting interest, or rarely, something that's a continual obsession in something that I can't let go of. People make fun of me for how interested I am in things like Star Wars and superheroes, and it always hurts, even if it's just a joke. I can't help how obsessed I get over these things, and they are things that truly make me happy, but then people will make fun of me for it. It doesn't help that my parents aren't very accommodating either. My adoptive mom has always theorized that I'm on the spectrum, but she never wanted me to get diagnosed because she didn't want me to get labelled and treated differently. Which, I understand why she has that thought process and in a way, I sort of agree with what she's saying. But she seems to think that any of these qualities I have are a liability and that they need to be worked on so that I can get rid of them and be more like "most people." So, it's really frustrating to have these difficulties and to have all the cons that come from them, but I know that I can't really talk about it with her because not only would she not understand, but she would just want me to get rid of them when they're a part of who I am and I can't just change them. I feel like in my life I have no one that would understand these difficulties and so I never talk about them, I just try to push through. These videos have made me realize that this is unhealthy and that having these qualities is perfectly okay and even good in some ways. And that these qualities aren't worse or better, but different and just need to be accommodated for differently. Sorry for how long this is and how personal this is, but these videos really touched my heart and I felt like I had to let these feelings out. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@Silverwind87]

Most self-diagnosed people do a _lot_ of research when determining whether they have a something like autism or ADD. I think the image most people get when thinking about self-diagnosis is that of a kid looking at a few memes about autism and concluding that they have autism. But I assure you, they do their research. I recently have been pondering my sexuality, but before concluding whether I'm straight or not, I'm looking into all the different labels and identities. I personally think self-diagnosis is A-OK, as long as you do your research.

[@Ryan-Petre]

Sure, but if you do extensive research with a bias towards a particular outcome, all of that information is going to be filtered in a way that skews it towards your preconceived conclusion. Lack of information is not the problem, the problem is bias and a lack of perspective.

[@TheMoonPersonTV]

we can not let this video flop

[@lemonbellflower6271]

I may or may not have autism, and don't have the resources to find out, but I do have ADHD and there's so many things just about neurodiversity and how hostile our world can be to neurodivergent folks that you said in your video that I feel so hard with. My head isn't wired in a way that works with a good chunk of a world catered to neurotypicals, and it is so much work just to try to fit in. I've done so much work to understand my brain, and yet, there's still so much that I can't do. There's still a wall, and I'm still on the other side, desperately trying to get through. Fantastic video, and I hope things go your way man.

[@NotTerravin]

I recently talked to a friend about a lot of mental problems I've been having for a while now, mostly from a discussion about how missing medication for depression can really fuck you up. For reference I am not diagnosed with anything nor am I on any sort of medication, but that discussion finally sparked me to try and see someone about these issues. I bring this up because I've been thinking for a long time now that it might also be very possible I'm on the spectrum, and I think this would also be a good chance to start the process of figuring that out too. I can relate to so much of what you've said here and in the previous video, and honestly it something I probably should've looked into a long time ago, but family life makes that somewhat difficult to say the least. I'm not entirely sure what point I want to make by typing this comment out, but I feel a strong urge to at least say something, to say that "Hey, your videos are helping and driving me to seek things out about myself that I should have long ago". So hey, thanks for sharing your stories and giving insight about these things. Hopefully the next time you make a video discussing autism, I'll be able to comment about how things have gone and if I have the answers I want. It might take a long time, but I really think I'm finally starting to get to a point where I understand myself.

[@AlexBowesVideos]

It is so comforting coming to this comment section to discover that it is full of people with similar circumstances to me. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of 3 (which may be the earliest here, surprisingly to me!) and in my school life I have hung out with so many different types of people to find truly great people to call my closest friends. It took 5 years, but I finally have a close circle, with equally understanding and funny friends who always make an attempt to make time for me. Coincidentally, the day this was uploaded, I discovered that another guy I know and respect has ADHD. I was so surprised, since he is a very well composed young man. He just struggles with concentration, which would’ve been very difficult for me to notice at all. He is the 4th person who I regularly talk to in my life who I know has ADHD, but I’ve only ever known 1 person with Asperger’s, who I don’t speak to anymore.

[@asheamaster1014]

As a 17 year old, who has been diagnosed with autism for 5 years now, thank you. thank you so much, this video clicked something in my brain and it just shed so much light on me as me. I cannot thank you enough so thanks.

[@thanoscube8573]

He's really something. I've been diagnosed since 10 now 16. So nice to watch a video from someone else who expiriences relatively the same stuff as us.

[@BabzaiWWP]

i sometimes stare at people and forget im actually there and think im a camera

[@pro-activefitness1310]

I’m sorry I couldn’t watch the whole video in one sitting, I really wanted to do my part to help you in the algorithm… I don’t think I’m on the spectrum and a lot of the stuff spoken about didn’t really apply to me but I found the video very interesting and appreciate the way you see the world.

[@ErrorGaming64]

25:43 yea this hits hard. Capitalist-ableism is based on the economization of people.

[@lunateek6244]

just commenting for the algorithm hope more people get to see this cuz it meant a lot to me

[@MickeyC3040]

Someone going through the diagnosis process in their late 20s here. Very much enjoying you sharing your journey and learning more about yourself and autism in general. I would love to see regular updates to not only see another person grow but also keep awareness of the topic alive

[@upside-downsmore9437]

Thanks for making another video on this topic, your talks about autism have really helped my reflect on myself and put certain things into words. I've actually recently went through screening and scheduled some appointments this spring to finally get evaluated for ASD and even if nothing turns up it's really nice to get things moving. My life has certainly gone through some changes and challenges in the last year or two as I can imagine it has for many others and it's really nice hearing your informative and reassuring words. Thanks again for what you do!

[@Blink-oy6ux]

Man, these kinds of videos really make me feel like there's good content left on here. Amazing video, i really hope it gets the attention it deserves

[@dogearflopper7011]

(About 5 mins in) Holy existential vulnerability, Fudj. Your work is phenomenal, both the goofy and serious.

[@AphidKirby]

I am autistic with a learning disability, I had to drop out of college because, while i was really really good at Biology, to get the degree I had to pass a bunch of math classes, I couldnt even pass the first one after 3 years of trying, so basically I only had to find a job now, and that would be my only hope at managing a living. Your story resonated with me SO hard, I worked as a park guide, and my employers and coworkers were very nice, but I was struggling for so many reasons to want to live while doing this, it also really turned into a life or death situation.... After quitting and giving up it took me a while to heal from that, and I did! but nevertheless I always felt very guilty for not being able to enjoy what would otherwise be a fantastic job for allistic people, seeing this specific struggle is more commonplace makes me feel a lot better, thank you!

[@rylinberling6323]

the quick aside is the most empowering thing i've heard in a while, ty for giving me and many others something to stand on

[@Huedenne]

I related to a lot of what you said in this video and you even made me go "oo good point" a few times and made me consider and realise a few things I hadn't before so thank you for sharing all this :)

[@lukedrotos8718]

I feel like I’ve been waiting for this kind of video for my whole life.

[@thatchris1626]

Ever since that video I've been on a path of recognising that I might be on the spectrum. prior to the video I had never even considered it, The concept hadn't even come across my mind let alone had it ever been brought up to me growing up. I was 21 at the time, watching the video really opened my eyes when it came to pulling some parallels of the experiences you were talking about. I mulled over it for a good while before having a pretty dreadful prolonged experience at a work I was at the time. I brought it up to a good friend online as it was stressing me out a good deal. It was surprising to me, but they assumed I had it and yet not even that much later someone at my workplace pointed out that I was showing Autistic tendencies. I ended up having an absolutely awful day with anxiety peaking to a level I hadn't experienced before, It was shit that seams stupid and irrelevant in hindsight but my brain just managed all of it completely wrong. The toxic work environment combined with everything else prior lead to me talking to my parents about it, and then trying to get help, or at the very least a diagnosis. I made the call to my NHS based GP explaining all my issues and shit as best I could, I don't remember much of the conversation but was told I would be receiving another call from someone else who would help me. A couple weeks after I get this new lady who I then have to explain again, and after all that I find that she's an anxiety therapist.. Clearly this was a major part of what was gong on but the anxiety didn't feel like the core issue. I did try to persist but i ended up moving job and to an apartment, add the fact that I realised it wasn't going to be exactly easy ended up demoralising me considerably. I ended up cancelling my appointments as they felt worthless and weren't working with my schedule. Fast forward like 2/3 months to now and I've kinda just left it, I'm way to busy and at least for the time being my mental state is considerably better at this new job. Let's see how long that lasts. Either way thank you man, odds are I would've been a lot older before I even considered it. your video helped me a lot.

[@Tom-Danielson]

This was a great follow-up video to the first one! In both videos I felt like you discussed the topic and your thoughts on it very well, and I for one have learned a lot about autism from both of these videos. I especially liked the section on the perceptions of autism, it really opened my eyes to how differently people are affected by it.

[@GutsyTen42]

Hey Fudj, great video! Glad to hear more about the topic and your specific experiences with autism

[@nonana5563]

great video. was diagnosed as a kid, but often go through bouts of feeling really disconnected with it (maybe owed, in part, to the lack of visibility and rep there is for autistic women?) but there was a lot in here i really connected with. hearing your angle, especially the parts i related too, was really nice. the obsession in relationships, the blunt analysing, even just the staring... there's carthasis in realising that you aren't alone in these things. even the traits that require some unpacking and dealing with aren't something to be ashamed of. it's nice to feel that. hope this reaches more people!

[@GamerPokedudeBob]

Videos like these are very insightful to people like me and are the kind I wish everyone could see. I really enjoy all of your content, and I hope pursuing youtube pays off. I am greatly looking forward to more videos, streams, and even discussions like these

[@SakkaSays]

Super insightful stuff. Always glad to have your stuff pop up in the sub box. Regardless of what you choose to do, I just hope you enjoy it mate :)

[@Wumpa_Goji]

I just want to say thanks for making this video. Your videos have been really informative to me who had a very limited understanding of autism due to lack of knowledge and exposure to it as a kid. They’ve also made me realise more about myself and made me understand quirks about myself. I’ve tried to get a diagnosis because I wanted to get to the bottom of so many questions I’ve had over my life but I’m 17 so it’s pretty difficult to say the least. Your section about your relationship actually struck a cord with me and made me kinda tear up because I went through a very similar situation where I tried starting a relationship with a close friend who was interested in me at the time. It was comforting to know that someone went through the same kind of thing as me. So thank you.

[@jakehatton2910]

Wow, what another fantastic video. Had to rewatch your previous one before watching this and I have to say it almost brought a tear to my eye. I'm not very tuned in to the discourse on autism either, but your videos make me feel uniquely seen and I'm really grateful for that

[@tombles]

i loved your first video about this and when i found out that there was another one, i instantly watched it. it’s amazing to hear your point of view about this and this has genuinely helped me as an autistic person. a few days ago i had actually gotten into a big argument with some friends over how i thought they were treating me as less than them. one of them just flat out said that they didn’t like me, and what stuck out to me was that one of them said that i don’t understand anything they say. that really hurt. i didn’t tell that to them but inside i was almost about to cry. i felt absolutely ashamed of myself because of this and i just wished i wasn’t this way. i had never actually felt that way but yeah. hearing what you said by the end put me back into that mental space that i was in before and has made me think about other people i know with autism differently. thank you for this. i mean it.

[@DatFido]

The ending of the closing thoughts segment really hit hard for me. I have autism, and recently have been getting to the age where my future and my career are becoming more and more of a thing I've had to think about recently. It's been scary and and stressful and I've been juggling a lot, but it also feels more and more like my dream of being able to do what I want for a living may actually be something I can achieve. I'm not there yet, and prolly won't be for a few years at least, but I've worked damn hard and it finally feels like something is coming of that. And I guess that whole segment really just really helps makes me feel like I can do this and that I belong in this world, thank you for that.

[@Athesies]

This is a great video, thanks for making it. I really appreciate an opportunity to learn more about my condition, especially in a form thats as engaging and well made as this

[@graydeotto2820]

Thank you for your videos. I have friends on the autism spectrum and you have really helped to give me a better perspective on it. I hope things stabilize for you financially, but I am very happy to maybe see some of your amazing content again! Take care of yourself dude

[@retsuza]

I've been wanting to get a diagnosis since last video and now even moreso after this one, it feels so frustrating how convinced I am of it while also not allowing myself to self-diagnose. What really upset me once was finally saying to my brother in a heart to heart conversation (where I still made zero eye contact because I find it really hard to do that) and I trusted him enough to tell him I think I'm autistic, and he just unequivocally said I'm definitely not. Thanks for the "lore dumps" anyways lol I think I'm a lot different to you in some ways (like the analysing - I'm more oblivious to people more than anything) but there was stuff like not being able to whistle or read analog clock that hit me like a brick. Even if I did get a diagnosis I wouldn't want to be forthright about it with people, I'd still want that to be private. So I'm glad you've made these videos because I can see that in-depth honesty being useful for other people too

[@DelanHaar6]

Thanks Fudj for a window into something I don't understand very well. I liked the guitar piece. It felt authentic.

[@andrewpalmer1873]

Yo the song/guitar riff at the end was sick!

[@niikasd]

Hello again, we talked in Damo's stream. I hope you keep up the quality stuff.

[@mostlystars]

Commenting for the algorithm, but also because I heavily appreciate these videos that you make. Being autistic myself (just diagnosed last year at 22) I found that I had already come to a lot of these conclusions that you presented through this video, but it's still incredibly gratifying just to hear someone else speak them aloud. Especially the section where you talk about gender identity in relation to autism, this is something that I've always felt but have never been able to put into proper words before. And man, that part where you said you have a drive that you don't know what to with? I FELT that shit. Great work as always, and seriously - thank you for talking about this stuff, despite the fact that not everyone wants to listen.

[@airbendermac]

Thank you so much for making the previous video and this one. You likely already got this by a lot of people, but simply discussing what autism is, how it is perceived by all kinds of people (including those on the spectrum), and your own experiences helped validate the experiences I've been through. Similar to how you described your experiences, I admit that I also occasionally would have instances of intrusive thoughts. It takes so much energy just to keep up, or I guess "mask", my habits, yet I also tend to compare myself to others and start to think, "These people can just naturally do these tasks with no problem, but I need to use so much energy just to focus". Sometimes I wonder if I am forever fated to play the game of catch-up, finally reach a 'checkpoint', only to look back up and see that I still have yet to bridge the gap... If that makes any sense. I feel that no matter how much effort I put into developing myself, there is this disconnect between me and my peers, or just the people around me. There is something that I feel I inherently miss or lack that others naturally do, but I can never get it. You could probably guess this is a major source of insecurity haha. Thankfully I have since worked on this, and your videos are a breath of fresh air. I gained a new perspective on the experiences/circumstances of my life from my condition. I accept it as something that is a part of me, both the "good and bad" of it. I hope by becoming a scientist myself, I could help in doing research to allow both ourselves and the world understand this neurological condition better, because by understanding something, do we fear and hate it less.

[@alexlowe2054]

I couldn't help but notice the incredible tragedy at 26:03. Someone wasted a precious moveslot on Mew by teaching it one of the most useless TM moves in all of Pokémon. The horror of this trauma is something I'll never forget. /s Abusing Pokémon aside, I truly enjoyed every minute of this video. Thank you.

[@spongyoshi]

Didn't expect this video now but it's greatly appreciated. It feels great to hear those kind of stuff while you're still challenging yourself to keep being consistent at your current job. I definitely felt the "glass barrier" analogy as well. After working two years on myself to land a job, I felt like I made no progress when people were STILL unimpressed by my behavior... And also, that quick aside was great as I'm currently realizing that about me and your perspective makes a lot of sense and is comforting. Also, best of luck for the future, it's disapointing to have such a bittersweet return from your part but I hope the mighty algorithm will be more compassionate with your upcoming stuff.

[@oscarsullivan5983]

these 2 vids have been some of my favourite on the platform

[@swordmasterarie7752]

Great video good sir! I'm also on the spectrum (was diagnosed really early, at the age of 7 and I'm now 22), and it's always interesting to hear about other people's experiences with it. As you said, we're all so different, but that's also what makes us beautiful. Without my autistic characteristics I simply wouldn't be me

[@rotomfan63]

You have said so many things i've want people to understand my whole life, thank you

[@CLSharpman5000]

I feel you on a lot of what you said, man. But I understand completely how you feel about that one relationship thing man. I've slowly been tryna figure out what I could do differently next time, if there'll ever be a next time. I think, next time I'll just try to be friends first, and whatever happens after that, happens. And you keep playin' that guitar brother. Music is what allows us humans to scrape away at the darkness.

[@clvr51]

I'm not on the spectrum, but boy did that part about your relationship hit close to home

[@maxblack2347]

What a beautiful video, it makes me really happy to be able to learn and gain perspective about something I didn't fully understand before, I can't wait for the next one

[@tuxedocatproductions2665]

incredible. thankyou fudj. you inspire me so much.

[@donnylurch4207]

I went to therapy for a few months to try and start on the way to finding out if I can be diagnosed with ASD. I skipped seeing the really nice guy that everyone in my community recommends because he told me we could only see each other for about 30 minutes at a time, and that another counselor in the clinic is able to see people for closer to an hour, for more intensive needs. I said "I want to go straight to that." I did, and it got me nowhere. I told her multiple times that I want to circle back around to determining if I have autism, but she'd just kind of ask me how I'm doing every week. She'd let me rant and eat up our time, but never prompted me to pour out my heart about my parents and growing up, or give me any tests relating to autism. I didn't see the point, so I quit. It's been most of, if not a full year, and I've scheduled to see the nice guy again. Maybe he can do more for me in less time.

[@lorelielamb]

Thank you for pointing out the staring problem! I'm gonna talk to my doctor and see if I may have autism, because what you've said in these 2 videos are relatable to me, so thank you so much!

[@katkit6817]

These videos have been the most insightful looks I've been given into autism as a topic. The pure amount of stereotypes and preconceived notions make it very confusing for me to navigate. Thank you for making such great content.

[@celfloral]

just wanted to say this was a good and insightful video. your experiences really resonated with my own

[@Gurkmassa]

Thank you for another insightful video on the topic Fudj! I posted a wall of text comment on the last video, and for this video, it will probably be no different. These autism videos of yours just make me think a lot I guess! I'm not autistic myself, but for 13 years there have been a paper somewhere that says otherwise. I was diagnosed at 15 years of age after being bullied for a couple of years. I was an over-analyzing, socially untrained kid living in a foster family. I guess you could say that I had the thinking of an adult but the social skills of a small child. Add the whole "not living with your real parents" thing and you have the recipe of being singled out as a weird 15 year old. At this point, I was diagnosed and most people said that I shouldn't feel sad or that anything has changed. They will still treat me the same and the only change is that I now know about this limitation of mine and can work around it. Note that I call it limitation. This is because I didn't have anything in particular I was interested in or good at by the time I was diagnosed. So it felt like I had the hardships without the autistic superpowers everyone was talking about. This made me feel even more lonely and odd in the negative way. Of course many of the people close to me who had promised not to treat me differently started doing so. Some of them seemed to read the general description of autism and faced me with that in mind rather than who they have learned that I am from experience. This still held true even later on when I discovered step by step that this diagnose doesn't apply to me. They see me as a diagnose instead of a person. But let's move on to what I said about being wrongly diagnosed. When I went on to the next school tier (ages 16-19), that environment was a lot less hostile and I making friends was a lot easier. I developed social skills that I didn't know i was capable of and "the weird sides" of me weren't seen as problems anymore. It was the reboot I needed to discover that I was just the amount of "weird" I should be. But even though I learned that it wasn't actually autism, I still feel a strong bond with the autistic community and also that I share some traits commonly associated with it. For example, I'm a deep and sometimes unconventional thinker who prepares loads of counter-arguements to everything I say just because I'm used to being questioned and feeling this need to always prove myself. Also, I become passionate about everything I do, and if I don't, I probably won't do it for very long. I guess it's similar to what you said about obsessing. Long story short. I'm glad I had to go through all of this without being autistic. It has been such a blessing to get so entwined in this community and learn about it from the inside. I feel like I might have a false membership at this point, but I hope that doesn't rub people the wrong way. I will always stand up for the community, teach people about autism if necessary and give the support I can. After all, I have this community to thank for who I am today!

[@itstyrant5330]

Thank you for this! I love all your content, and videos like these helps my ignorance on the topic, due to my brother being undiagnosed at 30, in both videos I feel your points have helped me understand him more. I hope you are able to make a living from doing this and continue for as long as you can:)

[@LilChuunosuke]

I just watched your video and immediately jumped into the update and I just want to say I'm glad you're starting to come around on the fact that women are underdiagnosed and that self diagnosis is valid. I hope to see you grow more on these issues, though, since you are speaking from a place of privilege where you come from a country that not only provides you with affordable healthcare, but you were also diagnosed as a young white man, which the diagnostic criteria was based off of. I am from the United States. My best friend had to wait 6 months to get assessed and had to pay $3,000 for his appointments, which he had to borrow money from me to cover the cost of because his autistic burnout was preventing him from holding down a job and our economy is collapsing. After all that time, money, and effort, he was told he couldn't be autistic because people enjoy being around him and all his autism symptoms were dismissed as being symptoms of his co-occuring conditions, side effects of his HRT, or "common female traits" (he is a trans man). It still just kind of baffles me how you can acknowledge how big of an issue underdiagnosis and discrimination in the diagnostic process is, and how diagnosis & unmasking can just lead to further discrimination, but still insist autistic people cannot call themselves autistic until they open themselves up to legalized medical discrimination. You also literally self diagnose yourself with ADHD. You may think your phrasing implies it is not a self diagnosis because you are clarifying it is not confirmed, but what you are doing is literally self diagnosing yourself./nm At the end of the day, I'm ultimately very happy that neurotypicals are learning more about the autistic experience & how to be compassionate with us while autistic people are learning more about themselves and their communities as we fight against stigma and refuse to hide in silence. I hope that little girls like myself won't be passed over for diagnosis due to their assigned gender at birth, that they won't be bullied as much as I was by teachers and classmates alike, and that they won't be subjected to as much medical and workplace discrimination as autistic adults are now. I hope future autistic children and their caretakers won't have any "cons" to consider before pursuing medical diagnosis and accomodations.

[@SupremeKaioshin]

I've really enjoyed this video. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this topic. I unconditionally believe in the potential of Autistic people as well, thank you Fudj.

[@RattieRae]

Ahh! What a cool coincidence that I would watch your other video on autism for the first time less than a week ago & here's another! 🙏✨ I always like being late to the party for that reason. 🤣This one was really great too! Thank you for sharing your story! I know this will help a lot of people!