How Chris Distefano Almost Got Expelled from Catholic School

[@malehlohonolo8463]

"Hey buddy, what do you do for a living?" "This kid's asking me a thousand questions" 😂😂🤣

[@Wbajus]

If you haven't seen this story from his set at the Comedy Cellar, THAT is a hilarious video. Glad to finally see a follow up

[@infinitytme676]

"I'm on steroids" 🤣

[@gabrielladesantis235]

Why do you think he changed it, the other ones so much better

[@prpapy07]

This one was so water down from the original.

[@Succubusisis]

Got a link?

[@georgecostanza9213]

@@Succubusisis kzbin.info/www/bejne/gn6Th5KjaLNqf5I

[@joelperez9252]

I laughed my ass off when he said I tucked it back I'm your little princess hahaha 😂

[@leoisanerd]

Really? You laughed during a stand up comedy show? That is uncommon!

[@keith3140]

“Asking a thousand f-ng questions” hahaha I grew up in NY and these guys existed. I heard as a kid, “what, you writing a fng book?”

[@GrotrianSeiler]

Chris is such a great storyteller Really draws you in. Very funny guy

[@wadepulliam3695]

At least according to his telling of this story on Adam Carolla’s podcast, he was crying because this happened on 9/11/01 and he thought his mother had died in one of the towers. A classmate was laughing at him for crying, so he broke a chair over his head. It’s much funnier if you leave that part out; I’m guessing he figured that out.

[@rams812]

He tells it really well on the honeydew with Ryan sickler too

[@nophon34]

@Tommaso Urbisci wut was he wearing

[@MalloryNewcomb]

@@nophon34 it’s the way he describes it. That it wasn’t just a big cross necklace but things like “it was chain that was Jesus’ actual height and weight in gold”

[@MalloryNewcomb]

Personally I like it more with the 9/11 part in and part of it was his joking that he was also experimenting with steroids so that was part of why he was so emotional. It’s a bit more memorable for me with the personal context of the 9/11 story.

[@telephantasm4070]

@@MalloryNewcomb That makes the better story, but for a comedy bit, it's too real. I never heard this story before and I laughed out loud at the clip, but when I got down to the comments and read the 9/11 part, it made me angry at the fucking kid who laugh and also at the expulsion, I mean most of us would have reacted like Chris.

[@DemitriBrownComedy]

Thanks to Phineas and Ferb, I know that plastic piece at the end of shoelace is called an aglet

[@vermin913]

I learned that from the Simpsons back in the 90's

[@turkamayne7]

YES!!

[@Francois176]

"Chrissy, lock the door." Was his dad Chazz Palminteri from a bronx tale lol

[@mEtAlMaNiAc787]

I'm dying. Easy breezy.

[@allature]

Beautiful cover girl~

[@theodoroskalopedis]

The comedy cellar version is 10x better. Im just happy that the crowed enjoyed this.

[@ravitkeren9496]

I feel like I just watched Tony Jr. from the sopranos talk about his dad...

[@tralala9410]

If there is a line of 50 comedians. This guy stands out.

[@wulfrache]

My bro got kicked out of public school had to go to Catholic school until HS.

[@mykillmatic]

the way he added to this joke is amazing. The way he does it in this bit is also hilarious... chrissy d and Theo von are my 2 favorite comics of all time.

[@gisellyg]

Sameee they're both my favorite too

[@yannirakko]

Anyone else hearing The Homeless Pimp losing his mind in the audience? Makes my soul happy.

[@fluffyfeetbmf]

Called me by my girl name🤣🤣🤣

[@theceliarose]

It's funny seeing how his telling of the story has changed over the years. like leaving out that he was crying bc it was 9/11 and his mom worked at the towers,

[@livefrom201]

I don’t think it changed, they chopped off that part

[@Barbaroossa]

lmao, is his dad a mob boss?

[@ronik831]

Yep. Mafia

[@beautifulday1665]

Allegedly ; D

[@iRepUrMax]

Asking a lot of questions pal.

[@Francois176]

Not a boss. More likely an enforcer/collector

[@nickrnmaui]

Chrissy is the best. So funny

[@ristube3319]

I was born September 15, 1979 Crazy!

[@Barbie_Esther]

I love a good lock the door moment

[@flying_nimbus7852]

My parents never had my back in school or growing up.....so guess who's going to be all alone in a nursing home lol

[@EMbosliceN777]

Haha this is funny. I agree with you too I feel the same. :)

[@dylanc2516]

5:11 "Allen's Aglet Appliance"

[@LionKingProLKP]

I laughed so at this while I was eating that I bit my tongue

[@SimonTemplarDude]

The way he tells the story on Joe Rogan was really good

[@VictoriaSobocki]

Love the bit with the shady, oddly specific jobs!

[@exquisitelei]

Got hipped to him off pandora I love this story lol

[@drewgormley6933]

Poo on the front is a louis ck joke. Snoopy dad

[@TestubeI3aby]

Chrissy is so damn funny

[@justinfelton3148]

This is funny glad I saw it

[@dheerajderodia3817]

Awesome dude

[@TheMighty412]

Lombardi's twisty shits. 😂

[@tybenjamin8064]

I’m getting real bright burn vibes here😂

[@collieee2957]

I’ve heard this a few times and this is still such a great story lol

[@ninasky7]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is too funny

[@lisaloki5337]

Oh my goodness what a story. Hehehe

[@gonasf]

Fr funny

[@toelife2112]

Chrissy, lock the door

[@cloudbloom]

CHRISSSYYYYYYYYY

[@noahboutme]

Such a funny bit

[@jayblackston]

I love this guy.. I don't love this version of this story lol He tells it much better in smaller settings, in my opinion

[@tokendaley3218]

The way he tells it on joe Rogan is the best

[@Dog_eater2412]

The places that people get poop stains I love it 😂😂😂😂

[@stevedavies4058]

This guy is hilarious!

[@shihtuz]

Funny ash

[@chrisburton3351]

He’s so funny it’s ridiculous

[@nurse.alexis]

the comedy cellar version is funnier

[@ekdaufin1485]

If the is is NOT true, it’s funny. If it is…not funny and scary.

[@keonnewilliams9511]

🤣🤣🤣

[@gabrielruiz219]

My dad called my dad

[@oscaradeaza1203]

Bart simpson, alright?😃

[@rolandtomassi3486]

I seen him live snd he was way funnier

[@ryansextremegaming]

Hey do you know that plastic part on the shoe lace. I do that and only that. Excuse me. But I have been making shoe laces for 30 years and I don't know you.

[@jonwalton19]

My response would be I think considering what the Catholic Church does to little boys a chair over the head should be overlooked

[@tryin2beehappygolucky431]

😂🤣🤣🙃😊

[@ben9and1-3rd]

👍🍻

[@jaredpadilla1211]

911 story is better

[@eyephpmyadmin6988]

I hope he gets better, he's not funny but he's good at telling a story

[@weOutHereSon]

This unfunny-mofor got this finally

[@jack_peters]

This guy is the worst.

[@LoseMillion]

What did he do?

[@slagwill5599]

- yea right. Tough guy story. Clap clap. A guy breaks a chair over someone’s head because he can’t handle words - but doesn’t pay the price because his brute father gains him privilege. Kudos.

[@AltHistorySports]

hey guys, this guy can't find humor in a comedic story, he's so cool

[@steffanhymer1285]

I think there were mitigating circumstances too. It is said he has told this story elsewhere and left some parts out in this version. He was getting laughed at for crying because it was 9/11 and his mom worked in the twin towers. He thought his mother died and some kid was laughing at him.

[@slagwill5599]

@@steffanhymer1285 - perhaps there’s nuances involved, but I’m not sure how the term “mitigating” would apply here. I think you mean - extenuating circumstances. But still - Breaking a chair over someone’s head Because of being teased? If that were your child I’m sure you would have something to say about it.

[@steffanhymer1285]

@@slagwill5599 yeah. If that kid had been laughing about the potential death of his mother and my wife, I would have told my boy good job. Teach that kid either empathy or to watch his mouth. And I would say as much to his parents too if it came down to it. "I'm sorry? Yeah. I'm sorry your son had to learn a hard lesson today."

[@slagwill5599]

@@steffanhymer1285 -- lol. all bravado. You miss my meaning- had your kid been hit with a chair -- you’’d be bitching like you are now - and you know it. Save the limp talk. Teach your kid to muster the ability to restrain himself and NOT be provoked by mere words. Only a punk - would act out. Like and your son - both… it’s easy to get emotional. True strength is in self-restraint unless it’s a matter of self defense - making fun of you, or your dead wife/husband doesn’t justify. We all die - it’s life - control emotions about it.

[@sativarosegold3604]

I don't like the guy but this was ok

[@ambrossmbunga4664]

I VOTED FOR TRUMP

[@margotknorman]

Who tf cares

[@fromthehaven94]

Not sure if that's a good thing to share, or to admit to.

[@ambrossmbunga4664]

@@fromthehaven94 why wouldn’t it be a good thing to share? I hope you’re for free speech? Because your statement sounds as if you want me not share my thoughts?

[@ambrossmbunga4664]

@@margotknorman you cared enough to respond so that’s a good thing 😁

[@cinnamonfairyfluff]

@@ambrossmbunga4664 weird thing to comment under a comedy video. Nobody's here to talk politics.

[@wutflex]

The transvestite name is better. Girl name...... Corny

[@gabe1303]

Dude this joke was funny af before the whole transgender word being a no no

[@YakimaBob]

What a BS story!!!

[@RR-jz7kc]

Not funny, making jokes about a father and a son bullying people without consequences

[@MatthewP1991]

I know this is personal for you, but this is stand up dude, jokes, people saying stuff to be funny, might be true, but that's life, it happened already, so he turns it into a funny story, you shouldn't watch stand up if you can't handle jokes, watch YT kids or sth instead of you want family friendly content

[@ford1chevy2dodge3]

What about the dude who got a chair broke over his head for laughing at someone who just found out his mother died? In this case she didn’t, but in his mind, he thought she was dead since she worked in the twin towers, and it was 9/11. Clear the air a bit?

[@anonymous-cx7ng]

Not funny at all and being a girl is not a joke

[@SCOODAMcGOODA]

lmfao. you are part of the problem

[@connorgriffin342]

@@SCOODAMcGOODA this is what is ruining comedy

[@malehlohonolo8463]

You need a sense of humor, I'm a girl and that was hilarious😂😂😂🤣 replayed it more than twice

[@tyhughs2333]

Lighten up buttercup

[@thatguythere6161]

Cool. You got so upset about one joke you disliked that you forgot the rest of the video existed.

[@connormclaughlin6955]

This is degenerate swill. Not funny. And he said he didn't want todo comedy?

[@Kenstar365]

The full story is even funnier! Would highly recommend kzbin.info/www/bejne/gn6Th5KjaLNqf5I .... glad he's performing this bit