"How do I ASK for what I need?" - AKA ep. 146

[@Katimorton]

Good Morning everyone!

[@nikkimckay860]

@katimorton. hello good morning to you Kati and afternoon for me in uk so good to see you again and as always listening to your soft calming Voice hope your New year's going well for you so far I appreciate you so much for these AKA podcast s you always help to calm my mind I only get therapy calls from my therapist every Monday and Inbetween I love listening and watching you ❤️❤️

[@amar129w2]

Hi Kati! Hope you're doing great. I have severe trouble with making decisions because even after lots of research, I often make a bad choice. I'm torn on if this means I'm not putting enough time and research into it, or there's some other issue?

[@elr4904]

Timestamps: Question 1: 0:33 Question 2: 10:29 Question 3: 25:23 Question 4: 28:50 Question 5: 37:57 Question 6: 41:39 Question 7: 47:25 Question 8: 1:00:06 Question 9: 1:10:59

[@RuxandraMotiu]

thank you!

[@Bea_triceP]

This episode has been challenging but really helpful to listen because it hits on a couple of things I've been reflecting on my own, so thank you Kati and thanks to all the brave people who asked the questions

[@gracetanner4132]

Always look forward to the podcast on Thursday ♥️

[@nikkimckay860]

AKA & OTDM. I am happy to be here in the comments again and seeing Kati and listening to everyone s questions and all the important careing surportive answers Kati answers to everyone s questions I'll not stop trying get my question noticed I hope everyone s mangeing with there mental health the best they can and people are getting the help and support they need ❤️🙏❤️

[@juliesmith4539]

That's so true because I always say when I was, he'll of a lot older, get what you need, not what you want

[@fromthehart7915]

Thank you for your podcasts Kati ❤

[@user-sh6qq5om8j]

Thank you so much for answering my add on about having been given so many labels over the years. That was usually in adult acute ip settings and the psychiatrists did not answer when I asked for explanations/ clarifications.

[@garyzornow484]

How do differentiate between what I need and what I want? A little confusing.

[@nikkimckay860]

I can really understand and relate to question 3 but not exactly the same thing instead of digging my nails into my skin though stress and very low mood or feeling angry. I'll bite my nails and fingers chewing at my skin I also scratch my toes and pick at toe nails and I pull my hair sometimes scratch my head and make it bleed sometimes scratch my arms too .These are the things I do 😥

[@Crocodonkey]

Happy New Year to you :) 🪴🤠♥️

[@yb4691]

In your podcast you answered a question from a German who asked 'for insurance, they need a diagnosis'. I'm from The Netherlands, and there is a similar system. My therapist told me something like 'The insurance company needs a diagnosis. I'm not thinking you have generalized anxiety, but I think it is the most suitable for your symptoms. Is it oke if I mention this diagnosis to the insurance company?'. So that is also a possibility. But I would start the conversation if I were you! To discuss if the diagnosis you've read is indeed the diagnosis she thinks fits you.

[@michellet796]

What if you can't ask people for what you want because when you have & they turn you down for a legitimate reason you feel rejected & stupid for asking? What if it's because some people start getting defensive & twist things around like you're saying something bad about them? What if it's because some people shut down or don't say much so you're left trying to interpret that or worried you messed things up by asking for anything. There are so many little random things like that that stop me from asking. It's hard to get past it.

[@noturbo]

yep

[@AndroidInHumansClothing]

The first question is really interesting. I was wondering why it is not advised for people with cPTSD to get regular reassurance from others? What strategies are recommended instead to deal with situations one is unsure of (would like to get reassurance for)?

[@nikkimckay860]

can also understand and relate to some of question 4 because Im like that too I find it hard to accept when I get Diagnosis about things 😥

[@alamo350]

I'm just tired of feeling like I'm begging people for their time. I don't know what love or basic friendship is supposed to look/feel like. It's very rare to hear from and just as rare to hear back from. You're busy. I get it. Just be honest with me

[@michellet796]

Yes I experience this feeling too & it's so hard! But I also see in hindsight how this limiting belief holds me back and maybe even makes me push people away. Idk if your situation is the same or not.

[@amar129w2]

I have a hard time being assertive with people who politely 'bulldoze' over me. They aren't mean at all, but don't listen to what I need from them (make a list for someone at work I supervise, but they just do what they want often totally different than my list, same with a contractor I recently hired in personal life). In the past when I have been assertive/not aggressive I've been treated badly for it so it's really hard now. Any advice?

[@jaylambert2838]

One of the biggest reasons to create options for yourself, whether you exercise them or not, is that it removes the mental barrier of victimhood. That’s one of the ugly dynamics of abuse - the abuser is able to convince the victim that they have nowhere else to go, so they may as well submit to the abuse. The victim can even begin to form a perverse sort of comfort from that. It lets us put all the blame on the other person, and we get to claim powerlessness. Also known as avoiding responsibility. Sounds harsh but it is very true nonetheless. Empowerment is not always pleasant. It’s not your fault that you are being abused. But more than for anyone else it is your responsibility to take care of yourself. If you are waiting for the abuser to decide to stop, it probably never will. I like to think of responsibility in terms of “able to respond” or “response-able” and set aside notions of guilt or blame or fault. Whoever is able to act needs to take charge. And who is more “able to respond” than you? Obviously, this is not relevant for children or others who literally don’t have physical or mental autonomy or competence. They truly are victims.

[@beand9745]

I can't figure out where exactly we go to ask a question for the following week? Is it here? Or is this just for comments about the podcast for #146?

[@jackovoltraids5937]

If it's something that I need for different reasons, is it ok to ask for help for someone else?

[@ryannesumbry4130]

Time stamps anyone???

[@maritmeijer8269]

Trigger warning - sexual abuse

[@magicstarz8042]

Thank you! Too late for me but I do wish that'd be considered

[@quinnm.3127]

that definitely helps.

[@quinnm.3127]

more like WHO do i ask for help... i live in canada, i have cptsd after escaping abuse and live with my trans ex, who we both dont have families. we didnt get pandemic relief, inflation relief, rent relief.. welfare turned me away because i had a partner. we got kicked out of parking by a transphobe and have to pay $100 more a month now. meanwhile, the gov't is giving MAiD (medical assistance in dying / euthanasia) to people saying "i dont want to die" because they can't improve their health due to POVERTY! 😓😢