"How far back does my body remember?"

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about emotional pain in therapy sessions, how we can stop our hypersexuality, and how far back our body remembers traumatic experiences. She also explains other mental illnesses that could be helped through DBT, and what we can do to stop our doctors from blaming our physical ailments on our mental health. Finally, she discusses memory and trauma processing, and why we can sometimes struggle to recall simple things.
Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, episode 231 audience questions:
1. How would you react if a client tried to leave session due to being in emotional pain. And you suspected they would try to harm themselves or even commit suicide? Would you stop them, or is that not your responsibility? Would you ever get in the way of the door and not let them leave? How would you react differently if It was a friend and outside the therapy space? 00:58
2. How can I put an end to my hyper sexuality? I’ve been struggling with it since like, forever. I was SA’d as a kid (COCSA) at the age of 5-6 and I’ve been hypersexual since, I’ve been physically abused by a parent because I was caught touching myself in public, now I more so use it as a coping mechanism, it’s what I’d turn to when I was even ever so slightly irritated... 05:14
3. Do you know how far in the past can the body "remember" potentially traumatic experiences? I was born a preemie at 32w (not too bad for a triplet, but still required weeks of care in NICU). From what I learned and saw in photos, I was the tiniest of the 3 and spent the longest time in hospital. I've been tube fed and covered with IV's. I also went into respiratory arrest at a few months old. Besides that, I haven't grown a sick child at all. We were lucky. I have been struggling with MH since my early teenage years (I am 22 ) Having an ED (among other co-related issues), gaining weight is really hard to cope with. In my case, it is not so much that I... 14:28
4. Hi Kati, is DBT a good fit for illnesses other than BPD? I have anxiety and bipolar II depression and, in the past, have had CBT/ACT therapy. They were pretty successful for anxiety but never touched the depression. Over time, I have developed chronic suicidal thoughts. When I'm well, they scare me. When I'm depressed they are almost like a warm blanket. I can’t stop thinking about it. It's always in the back of my mind. I know I have a way out. Could DBT help with this? 22:01
5. How did you get doctors to stop dismissing physical health issues and blaming it on mental health? I understand they can go hand in hand, but it's not always the case. It feels discriminatory. What's the best way to address this with a doctor? 30:45
6. What is going on with my memory???? I’ve been doing trauma work with my therapist for awhile now and all of the sudden I cannot remember what I have shared with her and what I haven’t. Why is it so hard for me to share new memories of the trauma with my therapist?? I fully trust her and know she is safe. Why do I go into a shame spiral and then push her away after I share something new? Will this go away with time? 35:27
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[@sydneyquacks]

as a born NICU baby, I would love a video learning more about what you have to say on the mental health correlation. There absolutely needs to be more research on the matter!

[@regineheine5707]

During studying medicine from 1980 on we were told for the babies in need of an incubator these needed human touches on a daily basis: parents could put on gloves , give their babies a massage ( there were two access points on both sides) and they were welcome in this ward. We were told babies being touched make better progress.

[@livchilton]

Former NICU baby here (and current NICU RN) - I totally agree! There's very little research about how being in the NICU affects our mental health. Even I'd love to learn more!

[@livchilton]

As a former micro preemie (25 wks) w/many mental issues....that was SO validating to hear!! Even now as an RN in the same unit, I still sometimes feel like I'm faking it. Thank you so much, Katie! Would LOVE to hear more, bc it's so hard to find info about this!!

[@Saraflowerk]

You're always so balanced & empathetic. I love it.

[@Freddy-v4p]

Hi Katie, thank you for your podcast. I work in the NICU and yes, we are kind of aware of the NICU impact, trying to practice patient/family centered care. Meaning that parents are encouraged to visit 24hrs/day, trying to provide skin to skin contact as early as a few hours old, even in the tiniest premature babies (not always possible), we have books available at the cotside for parents to read to their babies and try to nest, be gentle etc. As said, we try and probably could do much better. . . In our NICU, we are introducing the smell and taste of milk with every tube feed and try to empower parents to do it themselves. Our recent TASTE trial (JAMA Peds) has shown that brain growth during the NICU stay seems to be better in the babies experiencing smell and taste of milk compared to routine care. Also, breastmilk for pain relief is a common practice, we have stopped this, as we believe it may create negative associations between breastmilk and pain, we use pure sweet taste for pain relief now. There is soo much in it, I wish I knew all the answers. And yes, to all NICU parents, please help us soothe your baby, and look after yourself - a difficult balance, NICU can be a scary place. I am shocked to hear that you believe eating disorder can be related to a NICU stay, but it makes sense 😞 Freddy

[@livchilton]

I was a former NICU baby and can sadly attest to the eating disorder fact. I never knew that being tube fed could increase the risk...but it makes total sense! I am also a NICU RN...what is your role? I love that you work with tiny humans too :)

[@lindaarmstrongjackman9788]

Great podcast.

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati i am so thankful for your podcast and livestreams and i appreciate you so much always helping to cheer me up as i am not in therapy ❤🙏🏻

[@Paulohlsson7]

Hi Nikki, how's your day going with you?

[@WMR1776]

the mind condenses memory units into mainly impressions in me, but then there are very solid memories and very few in my childhood. they are like anchor memories that help enable general impression memories

[@GeekCulture101]

As a child with what the world considers disabilities who was also abused, this was super insightful. I believe the medical stuff all factors in to how I've reacted. I even justified what was done to me in some ways because it was common for doctors and nurses to have personal contact and it was a occupational therapist who molested me. So there was slight medical aspects and she used the issues as power over me.

[@Jessica-hw8xj]

I was born a preemie at 31 weeks and was in the NICU for about 2 months. I get flashbacks to being in the NICU. Absolutely wild how my body remembers.

[@BethFlower7889]

I was also in the NICU for 2 months and was born at 32 weeks (2lbs 7oz) and had major heart surgery at weeks old. I can’t say that I remember directly but it does bother when when people say babies don’t remember anything painful

[@Jessica-hw8xj]

@ Crazy. Yeah I don’t have any memories per se since it was pre verbal, but I experience body memories and physical sensations and distorted visions. The body definitely stores trauma, even from that young. Wild.

[@StarfleetUnderground]

For 12 years I was told it was all in my head and I was making it up. Doctors said I was fine. There was nothing wrong with me. My CBC was normal. I went through 30 doctors until I found one who believed me. He sent me to UCLA where I was diagnosed with Sine Scleroderma, Achalasia, lung disease, gastroparesis, celiac disease, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, and osteopenia.

[@zak-a-roo264]

50 yrs old, standing on the dock by the marsh and river out back at my Great Aunts I said to Mom, "have I been here before? I've always remembered this place." She said I had been in that exact spot once , when I was 1.5 yrs . It was the first time I had been on a dock and taken out on a rowboat with Gramps.

[@zak-a-roo264]

I have No recall of anything but the scene, not the boat, Mom , Grampa, events ,etc. I agree we don't have full recall or any type of context abilities until 4 or 5+

[@ladyspycom]

You mentioned something I really needed to hear. Thank you.

[@rachealfaucher4520]

i don’t even remember my childhood. that says a lot

[@elainehiggins713]

How far back? All the way back.

[@JimmyYuen-n5n]

Wasnt it what they called photographic memory

[@DogKnowledge28]

A really good question to ask if a MD wants to blame your physical problems on your mental illness is "what would be your differential diagnosis?" It's something they learn in medical school and most of the time they'll answer with different -medical- options for what's going on. You can then ask for tests/exams for them to rule that out.

[@AndrewChun791]

Thanks!

[@Katimorton]

Thank you Andrew!

[@ahlamnoori77]

​@@Katimortonmy dear teacher

[@crookedlines]

32:05 just want to say that nurse PRACTITIONERS* in psych are very trained in the psych field- there is a lot of confusion out there & NPs are great resources for patients too! Thanks Kati, great video!

[@DeannaRodriguez-u8r]

My father tried to smother my mother while pregnant with me, four or five months along. He abandoned us when I was 6. I’ve always been terrified of him and now I understand more of the why after doing the shadow work at 60.

[@marandadavis9412]

I'm a NICU graduate from the early 90s and became a NICU nurse myself as an adult. I wasn't tube fed a lot during my NICU stay because they were able to force feed me with a bottle. This is no longer recommended for preterm infants, as it can lead to oral aversion; in fact I have a mild oral aversion to specific textures and some disordered eating habits. Modern NICU's try to encourage skin to skin holding as frequently as tolerated depending on the infants stability. It's SO beneficial for the baby

[@livchilton]

Hey girl...me too! I was a NICU baby (now a NICU nurse too!) and I've had my fair share of eating/body issues & needed therapy for it. It really sucks. I'm sorry that you understand - but know that you're not alone!

[@aimeepeters5085]

14.35 for body memory trauma talk 😊

[@Gwenx]

My best friend had twins born 2 months too early, they where cleaned up, got some things stuck to them, but they where put onto the dad immediately after! He sat there for 3 hours lol, not daring to move, poor guy! They where also in the hospital for the first month, but luckily not in the box thing, they where told to hold them as much as they could. They where so small, so tiny and all the wires and monitors, where scary but, damn, they got out well and now they are 3 years old, and very well! They LOVE food and they look so despite their early entry to life

[@PiaLoveBSNRNCCBTP]

The body is an amazing gift from God. Love this mental health channel. As a Registered Nurse and CBT practitioner, I've learned so much.

[@felineoverlordservant2419]

I’m missing decades worth of memories, like my first period. It’s a complete blank as if someone went into my head and deleted the memory completely. But I’ve always been bothered by a reaction my body has with anything being near the sides or on top of my legs below my waist all the way down to my feet. My cats can’t even lay a foot away from my legs without what starts with complete discomfort then moves to anxiety until finally a panic attack, if I haven’t moved them away. The reaction is so strong, I just wonder why. It’s possible my brother did something to me, maybe pinned my legs down or something that I just can’t remember, like maybe the memory was deleted like my first period. I was narcissistically abused the entire time my brain was developing, by both my mom (covert vulnerable) and brother (mostly overt vulnerable). I was the sensitive natured, hyper empathetic, emotionally gifted black sheep. I’m completely reclusive now at 43 because my nervous system has been destroyed and my brain is completely fragmented from a severe dissociative disorder. Being alone is just the only time I feel safe. Plus I’m just exhausted from a lifetime of abuse and revictimization. Being emotionally parentified, scapegoated, constantly framed, gaslit, my name smeared everywhere…my brain is just exhausted and I’m terrified that people will try to manipulate my empathy.

[@portersmith1876]

It's general it's termed involuntary confinement which is usually done by either a friend,family member or member of law enforcement and this is normally done on a 72 hour basis if not longer dependent on the accessed by a psychiatrists whom will decide weather or not you are suitable for release from the "locked" ward or if you will be held for a further period of time. In the state of Florida this involuntary commitment is known as being baker acted.

[@dinah8345]

When I was born, I almost died. I was apparently really sick, so they put me in the NICU right away. So my mom could hold me for the first five days. (I’ve had many traumas since then) Now almost 31 years later, I’m still having issues. (CPTSD)

[@bostonpianoman]

Thx for the info u provide. My impression is much of what u offer on this channel is very helpful. To ur request for feedback on the matter of psychiatry training, I offer u the following. It’s possible certain things have changed in the past 15 y, and especially possible at some institutions vs others, but back then and I’m pretty sure it’s still true now: resident physicians other than psychiatry residents have been less likely than medical students to have a psychiatry rotation. U said it the opposite way, but it’s a medical school requirement and wasn’t a residency requirement, which I’m pretty sure remains the case.

[@alibongois]

My son was in special care (NICU) when be was born and my other son was in hospital when he was born. Both on antibiotics. The amount of babies that i saw sho went alone to get their antibiotics twice a day with no parent and no nurse to stay with them. They were all lined up outside the drs room and left there screaming. It broke my heart. I refused to leave my boys when they were taken down but the nurses really tried to make ne. I often wonder how much just those twice daily experiences had on those tiny tiny babies. My eldest son was tube fed and in a oxygen tank for 5 days snd i can definitely see a connection.....

[@regineheine5707]

As I don’t have relatives ( I am a Child born in an inter generational gap, meaning, my mother has been forty, my father 45, when I was born, none of them had siblings, my father has lived through both WWars) .I am concerned having no one to step up for me when I would be unable to articulate my wishes. My friends are older than me( I am 67), I don’t have children. I want to write down how I want to be handled if I can’t tell myself. Aquaintances mocked me: do you really believe anyone would care it matters what you write down? What I do is downsizing my household and keep only items I cherish.

[@cristianmoreno1772]

Hi! I woud be good to put the subtitles! Thanks!

[@aubreyrose3283]

My parents both worked long hours when I was young. My mom could only get couple months off work when I was born before needing to go back. From then on I spent 10+ hours a day in daycare 5 days a week. On top of that I'm skeptical of the quality of care available at the daycare facility. I have no memories of trauma but have many symptoms and have had then every since I can remember. I often wonder how this time in child care effected me.

[@GrammyAllen]

So, remembering as early as 18 months and never feeling bonded to my mother, I DO know I was formula fed...perhaps falls into that lack of comfort and such?

[@Kay-ce1ls]

What about fears and anxiety? Could that be a reason I've got so much anxiety disorder because I was a NICU baby (25w)?

[@emmafristoe101]

Severe chronic depression that seems to come and go can also be, for women, PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) which is more than PMS...and is a real serious disorder that must be treated. Unfortunately, there isn't much awareness of PMDD, even with doctors.

[@luvqraft6024]

I remember back to age 2 or 3 when I was first abandoned.

[@LL-yy6mn]

Same here. They are fragmented but there. My mother corroborated her absence as she was emergency hospitized due to ectopic pregnancy. I was left with abusive paternal grandparents during her 2-week absence.

[@ajc4314]

Is there research on the best ways to heal from pre-verbal memories? I had bigT trauma as an infant, the body memories and the poor physical health that is predicted from a high ACE score. While I love my therapist she said something like "it is hard to counsel things that are from the preverbal years."

[@rachealfaucher4520]

try EDMR therapy.

[@catsaresocute650]

It's not just post-birth. Babys sperated from there (birth) mother expince trauma and show live long effects. When conciousness starts sometime in the womb still (whatever state conciousness starts) the devloping human forms an attachment to there mother

[@muznahid]

Hi youtube people, how can I submit a question to Kati to answer on her podcast?

[@eledeog]

DBT doesn't seem to be very effective for people with autism spectrum dissorder... My ex-partner has followed DBT outside of admission and at some point they offered family sessions where the patients could bring family, partners or friends to these sessions to give them better understanding of the way the patient was trying to do things differently in life so we could try to support them in that. They also gave us homework: not only reading about DBT, but exercises too. I never managed to do the exercises, I could manage the reading about it, bus not the practical exercises. (They did also use the books written by Linehan.) My partner got quite frustrated by me not being able to do those exercises until she spoke to someone about it who said that DBT needs to be offered in a different way to people on the autism spectrum for it to be effective for them. Apparently it was already researched and they found out that autistic people just can't cope with the way DBT gets offered to neurotipicals, but it can work if it gets explained and offered in a different way. I am not 100% certain about this, but this is the way I understood. I have never explored the other way it could be offered, so I don't know if that could have worked for me. And yes: it can be frustrating when people assume you can not get physically ill anymore once you have had problems with your mental health. We still have a human body that can get ill too, you know? I've also known an MD that was the doctor you had to see when you where in that psychiatric hospital who rarely took the patient seriously. He always thought he knew everything better and he really made some bad mistakes, wich made me refuse to ever see him. (You could technically see another MD outside of the hospital if you really wanted to, that just meant you were not under your insurance, so you would have to pay for it all yourself.) I know of a patient who went to him because of severe stomach pain and he just told the person to come back to him next week if the pain was still present, that night the night nurse found that patient rolled in a ball in bed, clearly in a lot of pain, and went to the ER with them. The doctors in the ER had to do surgery (I think it was the appendix about to burst, not sure, this was years ago) and they told the patient: "You're in luck they brought you here or you would not have survived the night.", so yes: I'm guessing that comiing back next week would not have worked in that case... Luckely the night nurse didn't trust what he saw when doing his round, very thankful that person was there and did the right thing!

[@scottgreer1951]

This is why people hold things from therapy. Points you made on suicide.

[@ryannesumbry4130]

#1!!!🎉❤❤❤ hi 👋 Kati

[@ouchpaw3518]

Hey Kati (and community), i currently have the flu, so thank you for giving me some brain food while i suffer through this! I was wondering if there is currently a way to submit questions to AKA? I'm not sure if you do or already get too many questions to answer.

[@nikkimckay860]

@ouchpaw3518.hello I'm Nikki a long time subscriber and member of kati s livestream s and a caring member of the community I'm so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well and struggling with the flu right now Kati always helps to cheer up ❤😊

[@sinner272]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@lovekyds]

I am a medical foster mom and adoptive mom premie babies have lots of body memories 15:13

[@juton74]

At 15:56, what do you mean with “look at all this judgement”? To me, it seems like the person is just stating facts or reporting a situation, but I cannot see any judgement in the words. “I feel ashamed but wasn’t assaulted, I didn’t go through terrible life events” is no judgement, is it?

[@josephbelisle5792]

I remember being utero and being born.

[@domepiece11]

Doctors always think GI issues are mental. FINALLY, I got an ultrasound that showed multiple gallstones. Having chronic, incapacitating nausea is not normal!

[@AdrianHiggins83]

❤

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Bingo - it is so shaming 💔😪😫🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@ShamiaPeoples]

I don’t remember anything I’ll always forget stuff and plus I’m suicidal I don’t know. Do I have anxiety but I stay in a room a lot and I don’t like to come out and it’s like I’m scared or something.😅😅😢😢 yeah and Abby be traumatized a lot because my mom and my Godmommy are arguing so yeah, every time😢

[@TrishL333]

?BPD is it possible for this individual to not be able to have a definition of feelings and emotions completely detached where for instance if you ask them to describe how they feel about their mother or brother for instance they have no words to describe emotional / feelings feelings? Where what would be the first step to help someone?

[@itsjustme9354]

It can go back 12 generations.

[@timrockman7]

Has your training included some of Joseph Chilten Pierse's work?

[@minooluna23]

I commented on question two but you obviously didn’t see this. one thing you need to understand is that sex is a nervous system thing . We do without being learnt. When it happens at a very young age like 2-5 it is not just abuse and I m afraid it is because medicine isn’t s there to understand . there are nervous system conditions causing this. Just Google and learn some of it .. our knowledge remains limited because people do not disclose and people get ignored like what you say they need therapy when a physical problem in spine and hormones affecting nervous system and the nerves in genital areas causes it

[@ShamiaPeoples]

Hey Katie, I have a question for you. OK what if one of your clients say I’m your client right and I say I’m a kill myself right here and right now at your office or I can do it somewhere else and plus I’m young.13. and what will you do if you call like a police officer or something I can just run out the door I’m really fast.

[@nicolemarie1909]

Hello

[@alliwantisquiet]

Looks like I gotta ditch this body then

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello all subscribers and Kati members hope people are well and have been getting though there week the best they can care +support+prayers to everyone ❤😊🙏🏻

[@LL-yy6mn]

Hi Nikki, good to hear from you. I hope you're finding some joy in your day❤

[@MinKcook]

Do alcohol abuse video

[@djcmission]

why does emdr make me think of A Clockwork Orange? oversensitive?

[@WMR1776]

The literal cure for all the problems in the world and personal and otherwise is to focus on God and God's righteousness in the kingdom of God and putting that first in your life as a thing that you actually work on and work towards not just as a concept something that you actually die too cuz then suicidal ideation be kind of don't really care cuz you're already dead to yourself anyway and you're living for the kingdom same with like sexual abuse or how to get less sexual or you know lots of other things like if you really want to cure it really is a good cure to focus on the bigger picture of reality and doing something good for that bigger picture really considering though the words of Christ when he said you can't do that while working for money especially if you're as wise as a serpent and see what the world is and have learned from history

[@VitoKhanna]

Expensive make-up strapless bra thank you for sharing your brilliant content thoughts and wisdumb 😂