How I'm Redefining Success and Self-Worth for Myself - WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS | XO, MACENNA EP. 21

Today’s episode dives into the American mentality of "work, work, work" and the pervasive habit of placing one's entire sense of success and self-worth squarely on the shoulders of their job and work ethic. It also explores the cultural factors and societal pressures that contribute to this mindset and the all-too-familiar guilt that accompanies moments of relaxation and self-care.
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[@brendapatrick8873]

Be careful. You will burn out and no longer enjoy what currently brings you so much joy. We love your videos and look forward to them. However, you owe us nothing. Remember, you are doing this to entertain us and it's our job to fill our own hours. If you are tired and need a break then take a break. Subscribers are not paying to watch the videos so we are not entitled to being entertained at someone else's expense of their health and energy levels. Your are a very wonderful, talented young woman who is a wonderful inspiration to all women, young and old alike.

[@ericalane7220]

I worked for over twenty years, and when my daughter was three years old, the best option (financially) was for me to stay home with her instead of continuing to work. It has been two years, and I am barely getting to the point where I don’t feel like a complete loser for not working full time anymore. If I don’t keep the house looking perfect, and the food cooked, and my daughter entertained and taken on adventures, etc. then I am a complete failure as a human being. How dare I just sit around when I don’t work? What am I worth when my “job title” is now “stay at home mom.” These type of thought distortions have deteriorated my self worth, and made me less of the person I want to become. Instead of enjoying this season of my life, and breathing in the moments I have with my little one, I have been searching for ways to be “worthy.” I have recently chosen to adopt a new mind set. I am working actively to stop the negative thought distortions that have taken up too much space in my mind. I am worthy, I don’t have to earn my worth, I am enough. I have a beautiful life. The end.

[@lindaraterink6451]

Sweetheart you have a full time job with overtime, only your pay is different.

[@bg8621]

There is absolutely nothing more important than what you are doing. Treasure this time in your life and enjoy your time with your child. You can never get lost time back. As a mom with three grown sons, believe me, this season of life flies by. Put your heart and soul into being in this season of your life and dont compare yourself to anyone else. You are shaping a life. That is huge.

[@ericalane7220]

@@bg8621 thank you.

[@rosyneufeld1024]

Being a mother is the highest calling!

[@fiddliedee01]

I think when someone likes/wants the nicer things in life to be able to spend money when and on what they want then you have to work to be able to do that. I retired early to be able to have the time to enjoy my life. I feel so alive now doing every day what I want to do. My perception of American people (I live in the UK) is that you "have to shop in certain shops", and "dress in certain branded clothes" to be part of the "in crowd". Life is short McCenna, find the time to be at peace with doing nothing. ☺

[@lucyrose1980]

Hereby setting you free from Vlogmas! You don’t need to do that. 💜

[@erinnlinn6036]

I gotta say, there are creators in the same interior design youtube space you are in who have huge teams of people behind them and I feel like you put out more content, more diys, and almost as many or more full makeovers. It feels like you and the other individual creators are doing a ton on your own, and that once the big team starts to grow the wheels slow down.

[@nsperez310]

It also feels like some of those people have been able to scale more…I think it’d benefit her to have a larger team and she’d be happier with more time to just create

[@kevinsullivan1833]

I’d like an episode about FEEDBACK. how you deal with feedback positive and negative. Differences in getting feedback as an independent creator vs in a corporate job.

[@JaCaraKM]

I work in a very intense profession and I was trained mentally to always be working and strive for perfection (I’m a physician). We were actually criticized heavily for taking breaks or even taking any personal days. The motto that was most popular was “I’ll sleep/rest when I’m dead.” We were taught that our physical and mental health were secondary and even tertiary to our work and our patients. So you can just imagine how this spills over into your personal life and can be very detrimental. Well, I’ve burned out so many times that I stopped counting. This year I finally stopped the madness and slowed down. I bought a home in the south of France and live there part-time and the quality of my life has improved drastically. You are correct about France and Europe in general about working to live and not living to work. I am slowly learning this too. When I am in my home in France it takes me a couple of weeks to dismantle the guilt and anxiety I feel about not always being busy. I eventually learn the French way of thinking and enjoy the moments of every experience. I also try to bring some of this attitude back to the US so that I don’t burn out again.

[@lindaga820]

Good for you that you have found a way to recharge !!!

[@susanhensley9444]

So glad for you. 😊

[@JaCaraKM]

@@lindaga820 Thank you!

[@JaCaraKM]

@@susanhensley9444 Thank you!

[@mikkileon6380]

I’m still so impressed every time I see your background that’s in this podcast. What you did with a simple ordinary space without spending a lot of money and didn’t invest more than a reasonable amount of time. Yes, I’m talking about the side of the steps and that big wall next to them. You gave something plain simple and ordinary, so much style and focus. And Romeo said it so perfectly that first time he saw it, when he said, “ it looks like it was always there”. It’s a perfect background for your podcasts too🤗

[@CeliaSasser]

I owned an interior design business for 2 decades and I closed the doors because of major burnout. My passion dried up in an instant. Balance is so important for your creative flow.

[@haileyoliveros]

As a woman in her 40’s who works 75/80 hours a week, a full time mama who makes sure to arrange my work schedules for school drop off’s and pick ups and being at every school function to cheer them on. And does all the regular cooking, cleaning, laundry and pet care, I relate sooooo much to the feeling guilty when I sit down or even if I need a nap. Feeling I could and should be doing more, working harder, go, go, go. I envy the relaxed woman and hope one day to be able to accomplish becoming someone who works to live. My “peaceful” moments are when I’m waiting for pick up or driving listening to your podcasts. Thank you Macenna for being my calm from the storm. Even though I’m way older than you I would love to be you when I grow up!!

[@ericaoliver5349]

I took a French culture class. They get hours off for lunch to go home. They also get a lot of time off to travel sometimes the companies have connections so hotels and things so you don't have to pay a bunch. Also they have maternity leave for 2 years in france and then free child care for your children after. I found it fascinating.

[@ALdiyrenovation]

All true except for the maternity leave, it is “only” 16 weeks 😅

[@katieswonders8249]

Omg, this episode comes at the exact time when I am also struggling to manage my workload. I worked so hard that I ended up in therapy. The work culture in my European country is brutal. There used to be always a voice in my head telling me I had to do things. This or that cannot wait. I do not do the extra things anymore. I know I'll do things when I do them. There is no way the workload of 2 people can done by 1 person pretending all is fine and hitting all deadlines. I chill. I take breaks and I stopped beating myself up for it. I deserve better. I am enough. And so do you. You deserve all the things. When I hear that a person as bubbly and nice as yourelf has a hard time I get mad. It's not fair. You deserve to live your life. And if Vlogmas does not happen, I'm chill with it knowing you are enjoying yourself.

[@nadiacauchi]

There is no beating around the bush about this if you want to be physically and mentally ok later on in life and strong enough to cope with life and kids you must learn how to strike a balance and draw your line in everything you do. You must find your limits and go no further. You will then find yourself and happiness. It's all about balance and drawing a bold line in everything you do. It's the only way ❤️

[@SarahIsCoolBeanz]

Ok fellow workaholic Millennial here… thank you so much for this reminder. We were also raised to believe the big boomer lie that if you go to the fancy schools and work hard in the big corporate sphere, that you will be rewarded with riches and respect. Our generation has learned the hard way in our adulthood how untrue that is, especially if you are a woman or a person of colour. That’s why I think so many of us are where you are, figuring out what real balance is between life and work, passion and pleasure. My advice is never give up, and reward yourself for the baby steps! Turn yourself into the biggest project and use your workaholic tendencies to take the best care of yourself that you can.

[@user-om2ye7uh5n]

Listening to this podcast resonated with me. I kept seeing visions of myself "stopping to smell the roses". The roses that my father planted and taught me how to trim. The roses I "adopted" when I bought my childhood home that my children had the privilege to grow up in as well. Keep stopping and smelling all those beautiful roses you have! You deserve it!

[@martheolsvik4911]

I have a morning routine where I eat my breakfast in quiet and gratitide, I do a guided meditation and I sit and gaze into my eyes in the mirror and chant a mantra I made for myself. This just connects me into my body, to my purpose or my «why» and really lets me feel more grounded and calm. Some days life is just too busy, and I might have to run out the door, but I’m not judging that, I rather just give myself a song in the car that gives me a jizt of that feeling I create in the mornings or I just take a long deep breath and feel it centre in me. This has really helped me not just mindlessly running to the next and the next. To Give myself that daily pause is something that was a little bit weird and restless in the beginning, but now its something a yearn for. This has really helped me so felt it would be nice to share🤍

[@samanthawade1128]

Over proving myself amongst men is a true daily struggle. I work in a warehouse setting, my productivity numbers double and triple those of my co-workers. I feel like I am just a shadow. I watch people get promotions while I am not even considered over and over again. I get no negative feed-back and tons of extra responsibilities placed on me. It is difficult to know when to back off or even move on.

[@katherinelawrence8402]

I lived and worked in Paris for 4 years. I think the French have one of the healthiest work life balances. For a start it is the cultural norm to have lunch provided by your employer. Time for lunch is expected to be taken during the work day. So people are out and about at restaurants during the day sometimes up to 2 hours eating a 5 course meal. It’s normal. They do work hard though and often will work to later in the day to compensate so finishing in the office at 6 or 7 pm. But they are very much a work 8 hours not tons of over time, that’s just my very limited experience of my life and friends there. Also never had so many holidays a year. I think I got around 5-6 weeks paid leave a year. So I travelled the world during my holidays during those 4 years with such generous leave.

[@princessdaaahlingamor5798]

Busy-ness is definitely addictive. The adrenaline pace itself, I found, was hard to break. It also became a season for me: very much a late 20’s early 30’s mentality. Some years ago, I was diagnosed with a serious chronic illness that forced me to slow the pace of my life because I have less energy so I have to prioritize. I put a lot less on my to do list and I generally cut it in half. I realized that I had a “if I dont’ do it… no one will” mentality. Post-diagnosis I realized that was the story that was most damaging to myself and my professional and personal relationships. Actually, it’s ok and necessary to share the load.

[@foxymama9203]

@princessdaaahlingam I was a major type A do it all go go go woman until I lost my health. The mental anguish of losing my ability to be that person and having no idea who I was without that ability was worse than the physical pain I had to deal with. I have regained my health after 20 years and I am so grateful that I found my peace and self worth in a forced slow down and even though I now COULD go back to the race, I don’t WANT to anymore! I do the things that bring me joy and check out when I need to. I put me first so I can keep good health physically AND mentally! As women, we need to learn balance and self-prioritization is not lazy, it’s necessary!

[@margaritadiaz3779]

MaCenna, I'm so happy you figured it out before you actually burned out! We don't need to do it all to have it all. Our mentality toward work and its promised rewards must change. Life is too precious to waste on the corporate psyche, which, in the end, will only lead to regret. Enjoy your blessings! Letting go of control is also problematic but attainable. I'm 69 and still working on that part of the equation.😂😂😂 You are an inspiration, and please, if it's not too overwhelming, continue with the podcast.❤❤❤ I am looking forward to your Xmas 2023 decoration!

[@zoecreates]

I always got hammered in the UK for taking full lunch and not starting early or leaving late. I think the French have the right idea ! I also did lots of photography for years and it is liberating to put the camera down and stop seeing thru the lens just my own eyes. Its hard to find a balance but its worth it even crucial. As soon as I sit and relax I have tons of creative ideas so can never sit still for long but have had to learn to slow down as I got older … 😊. I love you Macenna but dont need to see you sit on the loo so please carve out YOU time. Your brain will always invent more things than you can physically do..❤

[@SarahsShipwreck]

Hey McKenna, I’m not sure if you will see this but I want to say I listened to this while I’m on leave from my corporate healthcare job-I pushed myself through the burnout and exhuastion for so long I was drinking 6 cups of coffee just to get through and falling asleep at 6pm, it wasn’t until I went to the doctor because I was feeling so tired no matter how much rest I was getting that we had a long talk about the mental and physical feelings of burnout, thanks for telling women its OK and its OK to ask for help, I got someone to come and clean my home (something I was too embarrassed to do before) and to help me with my garden (I’m restoring a historic home in Maine and try and do everything myself but damn sometimes you need help), I think we as women do this because in our American society we were told this is the only way to succeed, and even then its really hard for women to break glass ceilings and if you do asking for time is hard (unless you’re having baby or kids), thanks for this, you and your mom remind me so much of my mom and I, we would put the sofa on a blanket and scoot it through the house. Also-something about our society is “just doing things for fun” and not to make money or get better is a weird phenomenon thats not so much there other countries. Betterhelp as been a God send, I started therapy and said well I don’t know whats wrong I have my goal job and my goal home to work on so I don’t want to sound ungrateful-and thats when the curtain slowly started peeling back-I always felt if I felt negative or tired I was being “ungrateful,” but its just not true. You can be thankful and also take what you need for you.

[@user-nlvmruu]

Also if you're self employed you have to work A LOT to have a nest egg so you can retire and relax so I think its important to address that as well! The cost of living is so high and if you want a certain level of living style you have to keep working and working and sometimes you have to let go of something to relax and find rest, etc. Always inspired by your work ethic etc.

[@itsarah_irl]

I know you have mentioned it before in another vlog but after watching this you MUST watch eat pray love. It mirrors exactly what u talk about here xx

[@faithstrickland350]

This was an extremely wonderful and helpful episode. Growing up my mom always said we need to be “productive members or society”. My work and my skills have always been what I value myself on. It’s hard to separate your value outside of you’re job, education, etc. Thank you for hating your story and giving us inspiration to rest and redefine our worth

[@sillyharriet1]

So first, the French take off most of august. Not all of the companies but a significant number of them. So if you were there during august you might have caught that period. But yes generally in Europe you work to live. We do work hard and it’s sector specific but you are not supposed to work unrelenting. It’s something that comes from management to some extent. For example, in my job it you don’t take all of your leave (for me 27 days + national holidays) then our senior management will have a go at you. I work in quite a stressful field where you could spend your whole career in just one or two companies so completely burning someone out is bad for business over all. If you are completely ground down you can’t do your job and happier people make better and clearer decisions. It’s not the same everywhere but looking after yourself is important. I’m glad you were able to take a break 😊

[@melissamorse]

I am a Canadian living in Malaga, Spain. The biggest lesson I learned when moving here 2 years ago is the “mañana” attitude. People here just don’t get worked up about getting things done on a deadline. There is always tomorrow. As an expat it’s super frustrating sometimes when you need something done (hiring a tradesperson, doing paperwork, banking, etc) but I’ve learned to adjust and now I mostly appreciate it. People value their connections with family and friends, their free time, long leisurely meals, sleep, and happiness in general. The corporate hustle culture is coming around slowly, but it’s still very different. I think your experience in fashion and living in LA is the extreme example, but it definitely is common. Such an interesting comparison.

[@karendeakin9628]

I have fibromyalgia and stopped being able to do anything I had to give up nursing and I always seem to be on sofa ! That sure destroys self worth it’s the worst thing about chronic illness

[@carolelonsdale6320]

I know how you feel. I have Myloma it's blood cancer I can't do all the things I used to do my nerves in my left leg and foot so I can't walk far and I get chronic pain. So I have every sympathy with you ❤ from Caz in Yorkshire England 🇬🇧

[@robinwoods9961]

I'm older now and retired early. I still feel guilty if I don't do something everyday. I can't sit down and rest until everything is done that should need to be done. So I know that feeling very well. Looking so forward to vlogmas. You just make my day.

[@samantham4351]

You know when you have done and completed a video you’ve worked hard on and hit UPLOAD? Your next project is to hit DOWNLOAD on yourself and take that time. You don’t need to upload so much, we are here and going nowhere, in fact you can over saturate yourself online, and being honest in my opinion you can easily take that step back and take that time for you, your relationships and preparing for a baby which is the most time consuming job you shall ever have. You deserve time out for you, Darling. You’ve earned it already. We live a laid back lifestyle here in Australia and as soon as work is done we switch focus to ourselves and our lives, it’s ingrained in us and how you do that in the US I don’t know yet the choice is yours and yours only. Live to work or work to live? Not one person on their deathbed said they wished they worked more, it’s always the absolute opposite. Big love from Down Under. ☮️💜

[@wendywilliamson596]

A lot of big companies in the UK are the same working people to death. I worked long days and weekends at a law firm but once I had my children it was just unsustainable. I now work in house and the balance is much better. I’d be interested for you to revisit this once you have children as your priorities will really change again.

[@BeccaGargiulo]

it really all comes down to internalized capitalism and it’s incredibly hard to distance ourselves from that mentality individually when our society at larges still prioritizes rigor, hustle culture, and $$$ over the enjoyment of life. i think there’s a shift going on right now though and i hope we continue moving towards a more balanced future for everyone!

[@iamnandaa]

My therapist once told me something that always makes me stop and think when it comes to work. She said if you are giving more than you can, then you are not giving it your best. If one day your best is only 10% then that's enough. I always try to remind myself that. But honestly, I think we all feel guilty about resting or letting someone “down” by not doing something we think we should do. But we don’t think twice about letting ourselves down, we just do it. So I guess the biggest challenge or tip is to try to shift our perspective, stop letting ourselves down instead, and also stop overdoing when we don’t have the capacity, mental or physical, to do more. I really loved this episode ♥️

[@joelleyates5595]

I was just talking with a friend about this topic! Thank you for sharing such personal pieces of you and your life with us. Your projects really do inspire me and help give me that "can do" attitude!... It gets in my husband's nerves sometimes because I want to do all the things! 😂

[@SparklePink486]

Love love love this episode! So relatable! Your work ethic inspires me!! 😊❤️

[@barbarashelton6709]

Love the makeover with the divided shelves, the whole room look so nice!! We look forward to all of your content you have been and inspiration to so many people!!

[@Premchik]

OMG, I am looking forward to the Vlogmas! ❤

[@shawnrobertson9618]

The struggle is real. It’s especially hard when your creativity that you love gets tangled up with finances. Our country is really good at hanging the scarcity threat over workers heads that pushes us to compete harder and rest less. Often so we can make a lot of money for someone else. But it’s not the only way to be. One thing that helps me is to note the internal dialog and fears that underlie the desire to not slow down. Then we can ask ourselves, is that dialog true? Or am I stuck in a thought habit? And we have to give ourselves regularly scheduled downtime. I thought for a long time that I could keep pushing. But it’s not worth it. You are worth more. The quality of your life and your relationships are so important. We love your content whenever it shows up. ❤

[@lindaraterink6451]

I'm European that works by choice only 24-32 hours a week, because I can not handle more mentally, I get overwhelmed and overstimulated and easily fatigued mentally. Which will result in a chronic burn out. (I bow to you Americans, that triple these hours easily.) This also gives me the kind of lifestyle that I can never 'keep up with the Jones'', but I am ok with that because I am happy with that life and incredibly grateful for the great social securities my country provides. Which I also pay for, through my job. As once a painter said. "Stop and smell the roses." Is the best advice he could've given to work-a-holic Americans. Ask yourself for who you are really working so much? What do I gain from it, what do I lose from it and is that really worth it in the end? And maybe start unions that actually can negotiate real security, protection and work life balance for employees.. lol.

[@martinamoya6288]

I also study psychology so I understand and really see how important it is to have a border between work and personal life and to be mentally healthy you really need to have other activities to turn your attention to, have lunch breaks but also mental breaks….. it’s really important

[@SonaliTandon24]

We def see how hard you work Macenna! You deserve the time off. :D And you should skip vlogmas. Thats totally fine, we love your content either way

[@UlricaGrondahl]

In Sweden we have at least 5 weeks paid holiday a year. And the legislation nowadays is that companies has a responsibility to not burn out employees, but to take preventive actions. We have economical support for to take care of our mind and bodies. On top of the free health care system. The companies pay for the sick leave the first two weeks, before the state start paying. So that also have a lot to gain from employees being healthy. And there’s a lot of talk about work/life balance. And people doesn’t looked down on you in general if you relax now and then. We’re more inclined to encourage a balanced lifestyle. That said. There are of course bad and good companies and bosses. In the end we need to stand up for ourselves, and support colleagues as well. So Macenna - take care of yourself! I’m more worried about you burning out yourself than not posting for a week or too... I’m here for the long run! You are my favourite KZbinr and such and inspiration. I always wanted to work with interior design but ended up in graphical design instead.... hahaha... but now, when the kids are older, you inspire me to elevate my home the way I always wanted. And when I go thrifting, I often think to myself "this and that would Macenna like". You’re often in my mind when decorating. 🥰

[@user-ye1eh7ww4v]

To relax I love to watch your vlogs have just finished the 2021 ones and love the podcasts keep up your fantastic work.😊

[@addieasselstine]

MaCenna! You are not alone! ❤️ I struggled with major anxiety and self worth issues any time I wasn’t cleaning or working, for years! I recently read the book The Artist’s Way to heal my creativity. I didn’t know it would also teach me to value my leisure time! In the book she encourages you to go on dates by yourself with no obligation, just to fill your creative cup and be in the moment. This sounds a lot like the solo flea market day you described! You can’t pour our creativity if you don’t take time to fill that reservoir. You are so worthy!

[@CourtneyBishopPOA]

That second to last sentence is gold 🤌🏻✨️ thank you! I truly try to live by that idea.. to enjoy my experience.. moment to moment. I don't scroll social media much because I can feel the productivity pressure to "keep up." Staying in my own lane is so glorious 🙏🏻🤍

[@ALdiyrenovation]

I’m french, I was working in fashion as well and I feel exactly like you : never want to rest and/or feel allowed to !

[@AzuSierraVocalCoach]

MaCenna! your videos with the new camera look amazing, congratulations. Amazing investment.

[@clg9984]

Working in the French public sector, I have 9 weeks off per year and my work hours are 9:30am to 6:30pm with a lot of flexibility and 1hr and 30 minutes lunch breaks with my colleagues. I make a little less than I would in the private sector but I have a lot more time for hobbies (interior design and travelling). Definitely work to live over here, even if I do struggle with self-worth sometimes. My best tip: travelling for two weeks to another country at least twice a year. It's harder to relax in your usual environment and two weeks gives you the time to visit part of a country without rushing from place to place.

[@susanhensley9444]

I am a Hospice RN for the last 3.5 years, after 30 years working on hospitals. I worked in a Hospice in-patient during Covid. This work pattern has impacted my health, my stress level, and my own creativity... I enjoy your creativity and it inspires me to look forward....I'm 59 and looking toward the next years to find a way to be less stressed. I'm working toward working a half year schedule..... When you have a baby it will change your life completely, or it should!!!!

[@marielacristina762]

Work to live. Live to work what a difference. It's sometimes so difficult take time to relax without feeling lazzy. Thanks for all your videos, i love them. Greatings from the other side of the world from Buenos Aires Argentina 😊

[@Birdieinthecity]

I’m from and live in the UK. I have 6 weeks annual leave plus 8 bank holidays. I use every day, I take an hour for lunch. I don’t work late or come in early. I have set my own boundaries, I don’t have my work emails on my phone. I have recently chosen part time work which has heavily effected my income but I very much want to enjoy life, work is not my priority. ❤

[@Y_Alexandra]

Life in Mexico is similar . I lived in Mexico for 1 year & people work to live & enjoy life to the fullest. When I came back, I resented the way the system here in the U.S. is purely based on being materialistic.

[@RGarcia-sm3bo]

MaCenna, thank you for sharing.

[@brittianyistre]

Loved this! I really needed to hear this about working too much. I'm about to get into the real estate industry so I know it's a lot of work, but I need to still take time for myself.

[@nonsense289]

i can relate. yay for me! i just tirned 62 and never looked more forward to getting older until this birthday! why? because i retired! after 28 years in the home health medical field of occupational therapy! i love to relax and have no problem doung it. if others want to think i should do more, they can. but i worked for this! , and its my time to do whatever i want every day. we arent rich in money but i feel rich in family , health and the ability to pay for what we need. i dont need trips, expensive goods or to eat out alot. i love not working! it is an art to learn how to relax. regenerate your soul and body.

[@vicismagic]

Thank you for this episode. It’s really eye opening for me to here you being vocal about this issue. Ironically I’m French and I got a work stop for burn out and felt so guilty recognising I needed a break. I really admire all you done and build in your life, but it’s good to know I’m not alone. I understand you like to do everything by your self, but maybe there is other aspect in your life you can delegate and hire so you can have breaks.

[@lisadevries992]

As a Dutchy, I feel like I can speak to my countries culture only as all European countries are so so different and I have no knowledge of the American work culture other than what you (and other influencers) describe, but there is definitely a culture of "taking breaks is healthy" here, even for interns. As a research intern in medical and biological institutions, the whole team made a point of taking lunch together to socialize and take a pause. However, I also know other careers and corporate situations where it is not as normalised, for example working on the Zuidas (if you know, you know 🤭)

[@edavis316]

Minimum vacation time in Europe is 4 weeks, minimum. Most people I know in the UK have six weeks paid vacation a year. Here in the US people are fortunate to have two weeks a year. It takes at least one week to destress and unwind.

[@mercedesmeliatauste5981]

It s exactly the way you say It . I think we work to live we take time and we enjoy It. I can speak for france and Spain because i have lived in both countries

[@mischelemiller5020]

Im going to deffinately going to share this with many women i know that do feel this same way!

[@janesmith1398]

Good morning, MaCenna. 💜

[@Dingle1234]

One thing I'd suggest, in doing the soul-searching you talk about, is to analyze whether your goals have been swallowed up by someone else's goals. And further, does that someone have your respect and admiration? Is what they've accomplished, not just in terms of work but in character development, look anything like what you want to be? The most fulfilling job I've ever had was waitressing: flexible schedule, regulars that I actually developed a warm relationship with, some cash every day. I often would go home with feet feeling like they'd been pounded by a meat hammer, but slept "the sleep of the just." And lastly, teamwork was a constant necessity and reality; sometimes we were left with a feeling of amazement at how we pulled something off through collaboration. I now work for the gov't with all the related benefits and opportunities, but I'm not any happier than back then.

[@nadjab2923]

It is really fascinating to me to hear and read the comparison between european an american work ethic. I can only speak for Germany (excuse my not so perfect english) all the countries in Europe are very different from each other, but our work system is kind of similar to the one in France. The usual full-time job is about 40 hours a week including at least 25 payed off-days. Having the knowledge that the time to work is limited and it is actually illegal to work more hours without compensation, makes it of course more easy to be okay with taking the time off. Talking from my personal experience I think, what do we live for if not enjoying the time we have. You spend so many hours at work, without seeing your loved ones, solving problems all day and produce, that you should not feel bad when you are not working. I know with being an self-employed person it is more difficult to find the time to take-off, but I believe that it is so important to do that not only to spend time with famliy and friends but also to put your mind on other things. If you have the money to travel to other countries, do that! To get different input than what we see all day in our work-life not only clears the mind but opens it to other ideas and other persepectives. I think in the end not only you personally benefit from it but also your work, because you come back with a fresh mind and at best more motivation and new ideas. So you shouldn‘t excuse for it, it is your living time so it is worth every second to enjoy it! :) I could say so much more, but I will leave it with that :D

[@glougaski]

As a French guy I can tell you that really depends on the job you have. For example people in corporate or administration can have 1 or 2 hours as a meal break, in retail it’s more 20/30 min. And yes once we are off work we are off haha. So after work we can enjoy free time, family, activities etc …

[@TheYasminThing]

As a European (Belgian - currently living and working in the Netherlands) I feel like I need to take a some time off every 6-8 weeks in order to perform my best and be a good colleague to others.. When I'm overworked I make more mistakes and act irritated/mean towards my colleagues. You can't always perform at peak level, you need quieter times in order to recuperate and to be able to look at your work from a distance and see what works and what could be improved. If you're always in the midst, super stressed, working like a mad man, you don't have the mental capacity to look at how you could make and do your job better. I do recognise my huge privilege in the amount of time and the frequency I can take time off and I never take it for granted. sidenote: release yourself from the vlogmas pressure, it's okay to not do it, or to change it into a format that is better for you and your health..

[@rosalagun2678]

I’m from Finland living in US and I’ve had sooooo many conversations about Americans constantly working. In Finland we get 4 week summer holiday and 2 week winter holiday if you work full time and of course paternity leave.

[@edmeza9053]

Great episode,I am European and married to an American and it’s so frustrating trying to get him to take holidays ,I never ever feel guilty taking time to binge watch tv or meet friends for breakfast or lunch ,it’s all a good work life balance ,where I live we automatically get 5-6 weeks holidays a year and it’s never questioned ,I went to live in LA for 6 years and I still made it a priority to take this amount of holidays to come back and visit family ,we only get one life we have to love our lives and what we do x

[@dianamvd]

I feel you Macenna. And I'm still learning that my value doesn't rely solely on the job I put out. For the past 3 years at the end of the year I write It down all I have done that year. I separate in categories: work, family, friendship, relationship, hobbies, health. And I list everything that I think It was a good acomplishment. This year I Will write that I finally finished my PhD but in years past I wrote little things that I had to do in order to move forward with the PhD. If I had learned something, picked up a new hobby, went to family vacations... It helps me visualize that I indeed do a lot and I feel that I have permision to relax or not be so hard on myself. Also I'm also Brazilian and you have better worker's laws in here. We take 1h for lunch every day and we have 30 paid data off every year (If you work corporate).

[@SonaliTandon24]

Good to hear that you work for yourself and are more in control of taking time out for yourself and your mental health. Sorry to hear that you had bad experiences at fashion corporate - it's ridiculous that your boss acted that way! I am thankful that I work in tech corporate and my company prioritizes taking vacation. Our team lead encourages everyone to take a week off every quarter.

[@Cowandhenvintage]

I was wondering if you would ever consider doing a podcast about how your mom got into painting and where she learned how to paint? Thank you for sharing all your experiences on so many inspiring topics 🥰 ps merry Christmas and happy new year to all of you 😊

[@judydee7644]

One early commentor I can agree with. Almost all vloggers are commercializing more than they are inspiring today. Maybe the fear of not making $ is outweighing that other fear of not having the almighty number of subscribers. Watching Vlogmas is not what every subscriber even has time for. With so many doing them, I've stopped viewing several I used to enjoy. Having a family will certainly put a dip in content, MaCenna, so prepare yourself. Rest while you make that choice. Recharge your body like you do your phone. Never turning off is a killer IMHO.

[@JP-yc9sj]

Hi Macenna! It's funny you got that impression about French people. I am from Italy and live near Milan (the most work-driven area of the country), and when I was in LA for vacation a few years ago I remember thinking that everyone looked so relaxed while working and taking their time to serve clients. I thought that was just the California way of living!

[@emilyclaireify]

Appreciate you opening up about this! Highly recommend Glennon Doyle's work - her book Untamed & her podcast ❤

[@Stephanie.Hudson]

What I’ve done to help… after years of working corporate and several back to back stressful life events, I began to have frequent panic attacks. Then, after a scary encounter at a store between a strange male following and watching my young daughter, I became afraid for anyone in my house to leave. That’s when I started therapy through video calls. I learned that the biggest trigger for my anxiety was stressed. Problem was, I didn’t feel stressed. After learning tapping, mindful breathing, and a few other tips, I was able to feel the tension in my body. It took a year, but my anxiety lessened. Then, my dad passed away and it flared up again. Thankfully, not as bad and I had the tools to help this time. Truthfully, I think therapy saved me. I’m on a low dose medication as well since I was diagnosed but I hope to one day ween off of it. It mainly just helps with intrusive thoughts.

[@zorihristova1393]

Even when I am on vacation I come up with goals to accomplish

[@kaileerenae9719]

I just want to put a PSA out there because I just listened to the part where MaCenna says “he was paid an exorbitant amount more than me and I wasn’t supposed to know that” - full stop. You 100% have the right to know that if your coworker is comfortable sharing their pay with you. A LOT of people are misled by the companies they work for to believe that they’re not allowed to talk about their pay. I don’t care how many times they’ve said that or if they’re trying to enforce it, that is NOT true. There is no company that is allowed to prohibit you from discussing your pay, it is federally illegal for them to try to do that. They will try to scare you into not talking about it for the exact scenario that MaCenna discussed, because they know they’re not paying people fairly. Don’t fall into that trap! You should always be discussing pay with those that are comfortable with it so you can hold your company accountable for paying everyone a fair wage!

[@acmittelman]

In college, I would only charge my phone when I was physically resting myself. Typically that just meant while I was sleeping at night. But also on busy days when my battery was low by the afternoon/evening I would charge it while taking a nap or sitting in bed reading. If you’re phone needs to charge, you probably do too

[@MlleJolieChloe]

As French who lived in LA for 2,5 years and is back to my "normal" French system, I can see your point of view XD ! In the US, you work or you don't for us it is different. 1-hour lunch is mandatory for almost everyone but we do have more flexible hours plus most of us get money to lunch every day. For example, I get 9 euros per day on a special card that I can use for lunch in a supermarket or a restaurant. If don't use it, it is saved for another day. If you cook your meal then at least once a week we eat out on our lunch break. We also have a minimum of 5 weeks of paid leave every year and as many sick days as we need if we get a doctor' certificate! The work-life balance is much healthier in France!

[@debbyetheridge6368]

I would love to see Romeo on a podcast, thank you

[@YasamanRasteh]

OMG YOUR VIDEO QUALITYYYYYYYUU 🥳🥳🥳 wow I feel this is the new camera ….

[@martan1436]

I think It’s not French culture it’s Europe or Mediterranean culture. Yes we work to live no live to work, at the end of the day your work doesn’t define who you are as a person ❤ Proudly Mediterranean girl💪🏻

[@30arminda]

Millenials everywhere feel this, especially those living in North America. I feel this very deeply and it seems no one is safe from this.

[@michaelamaestas4950]

I hope you plant herbs in your LA garden , this time of year is the best to do it.

[@karolhenderson8888]

I have a set work schedule. If it’s outside that work time. I don’t work !

[@kiriaioulia]

You sound like my husband...he feels like he's failed if he hasn't accomplished anything during the day.... I will tell you what I tell him, maybe it will resonate with you, but he still doesn't buy into it: You have to recharge your battery. Just like you have to charge the batteries for your tools, you need to charge YOUR BATTERY! Your mind and your body. Taking a day for YOU is recharging yourself, so that you are able to work at top performance the next day!!!!

[@carlaaicardo]

In Argentina, we work all day but in our case it's because of the economic situation (really bad). Love your videos! ❤

[@dariavuistiner1103]

Omg 😆 As European (Switzerland), but also based on my character, I have always been 100% on everything, social, work, studies,... And I realised on the long run you need breaks. Which I always took, but yes maybe one thing for me is to defining healthy boundaries with my life work balance. For instance if 1x I eat in front of the computer it's fine, but max 1! that changes a lot already. Making space for friend lunches, or dates with yourself. Now with kids for example I decided to take 1 day just for me (to do home stuff, activities, sports whatever floats your boat). Of course it is a luxury and really depends on your field of work (my case is Design). But yes, to give yourself as much priority as you would give your best friend, mum and so on. But so hard to sometimes let go of the guilt, but it is so nice to just try and shutting off.

[@katybowles2899]

would love to hear about decorating for the holidays without being theme-y

[@christine42615]

Yes I agree, I live in the UK and most people work to live! 🎉. For me there's no other way to do it. I'm also aware public sector get around 6 weeks holidays each year and I understand that's rare in the states. Quality of life is the most important thing, and that's different for everyone. 😊❤

[@makeitliveable]

I’m so like you, it’s almost scary🤣🤣 I’m Hungarian but I live in the UK. I feel like here we have the same mentality that Americans. We work a lot, or at least this is what I experienced. As a Hungarian that’s also the case, we are super hard workers, we barely take a break. But I’m also like you, I love creating content for my KZbin Channel, and it’s definitely hard to find the balance. Getting successful is freaking hard but taking a break is actually a lot harder for me!!

[@jodhaaakbarfantuomey8103]

Hello, Ms. MaCenna. I have to admit I'm no 'girl boss,' I was born with Cerebral Palsy so I'm in position where holding down a job failed miserably. However, I come from an incredibly workaholic family, and it does effect me at times that I don't hold a job. What I've discovered in 39 years is that defining your personhood by output really makes no sense. What really should matter is having enough food, and shelter, then doing whatever fulfils you. Obviously, you can make a living off of what you love. That is an amazing blessing. However, I do think you might be sharing too much. Instead of two VLOGS a week, why not one. I know you're sponsored by Hello Fresh and the market, but maybe not sharing your meals will help if you're out. Just take the time to eat and focus on the pleasure of the food without sharing it with the void. The truth is your community is not entitled to your entire life. You should give your entire self to your family and the friends you can physically hug. Vloging 25 days in Dec. (I don't do any Hollidays) sounds insane to me, that should be your family time, not a massive project. Also, while you are sponsored by certain clothing brands you don't have to show us every new piece, take the pleasure for you and Mr. Romeo. Or even your skincare regimen, we don't deserve your spa time. You can replace those things with more Kinsley or the garden!

[@clairebucknell8666]

I emigrated from 🇬🇧 England to Texas- we bought a business that was open 350 days a year, 12 hours minimum every day. My husband’s most famous quote is; you don’t grow a business by closing it!! We were also renovating 2 properties at the same time. ( that’s how I found you) Our marriage and family were put on the back burner for 3 years! Before I lost my temper and demand FAMILY TIME or DIVORCE. At that point we employed a manager to take away the stress of the business which had taken over our lives. In the uk 🇬🇧 we automatically get paid days of holiday around 20 depending on how long you have worked for the business. Everyone needs down time or they will pay for it with burnout. 5 years later I’m now suffering with burnout. For The last 5 years I have been on a rollercoaster- one hell of a bumpy ride, nearly losing my dad just before Covid, losing my grandma after and now other 🇬🇧 family members are also sick and we are 4000 miles away! Good for you - realising and prioritising yourself.💝

[@valeriaraposo3434]

I am from France, however brough up in Portugal.every culture is different. We, europeans, have a job in general that allows to get a full hour for lunch! Call us lazy but we are paid to enjoy our time. 😅. Just kidding. Depending on the situation we can work on our lunch period. But we do tend to make the most of our time. But beware, sometimes it is superficial😊 but it does look like in the US, you must work to have value. I guess it has to do with a financial culture. We pay tax to allows a paycheck😊 when we retire.... when in the US, you can only enjoy retirement if you have savings. Perhaps I am wrong, however it is a common perception.

[@bonniemorthorst8980]

yes in europe family time and relaxation is very important . life is not about work. its about living life.

[@louilind4300]

Your health and well being is waaaay more important than what you produce! Please make your wellbeing and joy a first priority over making content

[@autieangie]

UK is exactly the same - work, work, work

[@Mayableification]

It's always so crazy for me to hear about US work culture 🙈 We have here aprox. 25+ days of obligatory time off, and this is not including holidays, special time off, volontury time off, sick leave and so on! (of course this is for the full time work contract and not everyone has that, but in corporate job you do). Anyway, best wishes from Poland, I honestly love Europe 🥰

[@linislunatica]

So yes I’m from Colombia I live in the US and I’m very European and I for sure live my life and of course I work very hard but in a completely different way to Americans it really is more of a dolce far niente the sweetness of doing nothing where the spirit is able to explore life rather than complete life…I don’t know if I’m explaining it well but I do love living life like this makes me very fulfilled

[@lisaiwanski524]

Having just returned from living over in Switzerland the last two years,I know that European culture is very different but what you consider freedom,I saw as stifling and controlled!! And I ran into more people who wished that Europeans had the work ethic of Americans, where we care about the product we produce and don’t have the government dictate the hours we operate and even what we can produce! Their ways are very antiquated and they have no desire to advance or embrace others and/or their cultures, which is what still makes America the greatest. We have true freedom to decide to work or overwork when it’s necessary or because we love to produce quality and help others, not just live for ourselves!! Europe is not welcoming for those who have different values and cultural experiences

[@michaelamaestas4950]

Once you have a baby ,, the only time to relax is during nap time,,, for a few moments

[@antonellamichelli9854]

I live in Spain and I can totally say I work a ton (I work for an American company BTW, haha), but work is not the centre of our lives, it is a mean to be able to do different things. The mentality is work for a living instead of living to work