How I overcame social anxiety

How I went from a socially anxious kid to an anxiety disorder specialist using exposure therapy.
Support me on Patreon: / thepsychshow
#MentalHealthMonth
#MHM
#StigmaFree
Topics Discussed:
- Selective Mutism
- Child anxiety
- Social Anxiety Disorder
- Exposure therapy
- Unified theory
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Anxiety treatment
- Mental Health Awareness Month
Links:
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America: www.adaa.org/
- NAMI Anxiety Support: www.nami.org/Learn-More/Menta...
- Find an exposure therapist: www.abct.org/Information/?m=mI...
- A Unified Protocol for the Treatment of Emotional Disorders: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/artic...
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Website: alimattu.com/
THE PSYCH SHOW! Weekly adventures in psychology, the brain, and behavioral sciences with Dr. Ali Mattu!

[@samitrg]

Loved the video! I just have a question, speaking in public would be a conditioned or unconditioned stimulus? and feeling anxious would be then a conditioned or unconditioned response?

[@drali]

+Samantha Thompson Good question! Both classical and operant conditioning are at work here. The unconditioned stimulus could be negative social evaluation (humiliation) leading to the unconditioned response of anxiety. What could get paired up here is any type of social interaction, thus social interaction becomes the conditioned stimulus and the conditioned response becomes anxiety. Avoiding social situations reduces anxiety, thus it is negatively reinforcing the avoidant behavior (taking something away that is aversive is negative reinforcement). Hope that helps!

[@samitrg]

+The Psych Show nice! yeah that helps a lot! I have this psychology exam today and I was having trouble understanding this concept, but you totally clarified it. Keep posting those videos, they are super interesting and will help lots of people!

[@drali]

+Samantha Thompson I've taught a lot of intro psych and UCS/UCR/CS/CR is often a confusing topic. Hope it went well for you!

[@hema867]

I am a clinical psychologist myself but to be very honest I still struggle with this concept of UCR/ UCS/ CS/ CR...

[@shumwetedd1799]

There are many factors in reducing social anxiety naturally. One resource I discovered which succeeds in merging these is Kevs Control Plan (google it if you're interested) without a doubt the most incredible guide that I've seen. Check out all the interesting information .

[@videomissionary]

Exposure therapy: anxietying your way out of anxiety

[@WithDreday]

My whole life is exposure therapy lol

[@ahmedwassime9697]

The longer you avoyd youre fears the biger he become i feel the lock down make my enxiety bigger

[@Alghreeb1994]

صدقت

[@atharvajagtap1093]

Yes bro you are right

[@theuglybeing4673]

*anxiety*

[@Old_SnakeTwitch]

You may think you know what other people are thinking, or assume that they are thinking the worst about you. But I'd be willing to bet that most of the time, 99% of the time, you're wrong, because most of the time people are thinking about themselves. The sooner you except that, the less likely you are to put yourself in a position that makes you uncomfortable. -Marc Maron

[@drali]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[@gabrielleahartz4569]

Elizabeth Gilbert says the same thing :D

[@austinricky]

That’s what makes me nervous though. Even if they are thinking about themselves all it takes is one millisecond of them relating themselves to me that kills me. And I know that me being the alpha male, and all the stuff I know about alpha males and what people expect of them, makes me know they do think about me. All it takes is a millisecond for someone to think about you

[@Old_SnakeTwitch]

@@ALIVE.Offical soliciting weirdo, if your channel isn't popular enough, maybe it just sucks, cause u a weirdo

[@ReynaSingh]

I suffered from anxiety too and am now actively working on not letting it control my life. Together we are strong.

[@Honest_Man]

Do you oversweat?due to anxiety

[@samluca945]

@@Honest_Man i do

[@MSDISpinningTurtle]

John Greene has an Indian Brother?

[@drali]

High praise! John Green is awesome.

[@ericarroyo4342]

This is glorious, been searching for "how to overcome shyness and social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (search on google )? It is a good exclusive guide for removing the root cause of social anxiety without the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my friend Sam at very last got amazing success with it.

[@diegomendoza4957]

Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (do a search on google )? It is a great one off product for removing the root cause of social anxiety without the hard work. Ive heard some super things about it and my m8 got astronomical success with it.

[@levarmitchell3962]

My social anxiety kicked in at about middle school age and got worse in high school and college. I'm 44 now and although I've made minor improvements, I've hit a plateau and I feel a sense of urgency or panic if you will, that if I don't overcome this at my age I'll never realize my goals and dreams.

[@kingh2310]

Here is my story; I am 25 year old, O have always had social anxiety in high school, which is the reason for my bad grades. It got worse when I also had a physical health problem and pain, which changed the way I look as well which made me even more insecure,causing body dysmoprhia. I ended up doing a dead end job from age 19-25. With absolute no friends or social connections. Now I got into college. First day of class was very difficult. It was hard to be around people. Second day of class my nerves calmed down a little bit. Hopefully it gets easier. It's basically a skills we haven't learned, which we were supposed to learn in our younger days

[@babyree2901]

Hope everything works out for you! Practice makes perfect

[@icchigo3901]

My first day at college was bad..and also every day at my 4th year now. I don't see it getting better. I still didn't make any friends despite it being a small college. But I do have other ways of getting better so its Ok

[@Trade1001]

@@icchigo3901 Other ways are making it worse for me

[@asv9253]

I'm 15 and thanks for your story that will surely help me in my future

[@bilal82996]

What an amusing reason for enrolling on a public speaking class. Just imagining you walking into class and learning what it was makes me chuckle. Overall, great story and thank you for the new series :-)

[@drali]

+Bilal Qasim that's the reaction I always get when I tell this story, but honestly back then I totally thought we were just going to listen to and analyze public speeches. I'm glad I was wrong!

[@nicholasrs2735]

This got to me on an emotional level. Finally someone who can relate ❤️

[@drali]

Glad to hear this resonated with you!

[@crunchybroll4731]

I'm suffering so much. I really want to beat my anxiety. I want to live and I want to win. I hope I can do it

[@videomissionary]

So you had so much anxiety from talking to your teacher about anxiety, that you cured your anxiety?

[@wolfferoni]

I totally would've freaked out if I was in a class that involved public speaking, let alone one that revolved around it. Weird thing about my anxiety is that it's pretty severe but at its peak, I'm overcome with a sense of desperation that makes me do social things I wouldn't otherwise be able to do in order to get out of the situation. As in, I get so anxious that I absolutely need to get out of the class and will go to the teacher and tell them if I really have to. But if I were in your situation, I would've just not attended class. I've literally hid in bathrooms for hours because I've been too scared. Funny how having social anxiety can make you too scared to see a therapist when they're really the only one who can help you and so you get stuck not doing anything but wanting to.

[@anyasuhareva2076]

Wolfferoni "get stuck not doing anything but wanting to". So true

[@drali]

Thanks for sharing your experience! It sounds like social anxiety is very much getting in the way of your life. If anxiety about interacting with others makes it hard for you to see a therapist, perhaps online therapy could be a good place to start?

[@melaniequai1504]

The Psych Show when u want online therapy but don’t wanna ask ur parents cuz of ur anxiety lmao

[@eatingcookieswithpeanutbutter]

I also have dealt with social anxiety since childhood, and I've slowly grown to become less anxious in public situations and am now able to speak to people with more facility. However, I do understand that anxiety never really goes away, because there are times where it still takes over me. Something I still find myself struggling with is speaking up at any given moment, as I still tend to plan out some interactions, like with phone calls.

[@vocalmaster2459]

That’s not anxiety, thats because you are introvert.

[@michaelsmelt5218]

@@vocalmaster2459 No..

[@Awaecnan]

Your story is so inspiring! Indeed, when you start to shift your perspective towards dealing with social situations entirely, you can really make a big difference to your social anxiety. Thanks so much for sharing!

[@wizwocn]

Excellent video - so personal, which helps to show that EVERYONE struggles with something! We are not alone! Thank you!

[@marialblepp7733]

What you’ve shared is very insightful for me. My fear is opening up to people. I fear that I might disappoint them. This led me to eventually avoiding any conversation that may result to a rather close or even acquaintance-like relationship. I was scared of speaking myself out. I shut down all my social media accounts and isolated myself fron the world. Eventually, it made me think that, I, as a pscyhology major and a mental health advocate, have not done much to reach out to people and help them and it has not benefited me as well. Now, I am glad I’ve watched your video because it helped me to realize that I am in the process of exposing myself to social situations. I always try initiating conversations now, and even opened a blog for writing my thoughts and for promoting the importance of mental health. I look forward to becoming more confident of my speaking and to encourage more people like me to speak up too. Thank you so much for what you’re doing to the community. You deserve much more recognition, Dr. Mattu!

[@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702]

Great video! I loved hearing your transformation and how you've been able to break out of avoidance. It truly is the problem and you faced it head on 🙌

[@foxc8646]

This was way more useful than I expected it to be👍🏻

[@qazedc3]

oh man this just reminded me of how I kinda had the same thing in school where i'd be SO quiet in class but super talkative at home and with a few close friends - wonder if that was also selective mutism

[@megsmith322]

These videos are amazing. So much material for teaching intro psych!!

[@drali]

Thanks for your feedback! Working on getting a lot more content up for intro psych including a series of demos.

[@TimothyWilliamsJr]

Love the video, creating KZbin content has been my biggest way to face my fears and battle social anxiety!

[@WelshBoyUSA]

You’ve really helped me and after watching this video I’ve decided to seek help thank you life changed

[@Lea-ov8vq]

Thank you for sharing your story, I've had pretty bad social anxiety for years now but slowly I'm getting better. I can now make eye contact and I'm very happy about that :)

[@xevsetter1201]

Ill start off by saying a few of my fears are stigma from my mental illness and misspelling things because dyslexia... Your videos have helped not just me but people in a face book group that my friend and I started for mental health! So Thankyou for making them!

[@drali]

Thanks so much for your kind words! It means a lot to me and comments like yours help me to keep making videos. A lot of people develop concerns about how they will be judged as a result dyslexia. What often helps is learning skills that help you with dyslexia and then practicing them in different settings. Like I discuss in the video, starting with easier and then moving to more difficulty ones. Best of luck!

[@nidamukhtar8277]

This channel is soooo awesome!! Thank you 🙏🏽

[@09vtk]

Hello, Dr. Mattu! I followed your advice on performing grounding techniques for my public anxiety. It worked! Every morning and night, i practice the 5, 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 senses grounding technique. This afternoon, i went to the grocery store with no fear whatsoever. No panic attacks while waiting in the long lines either. Thank you so much for creating this channel!

[@milkbread5036]

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! This helps me so much! I'm so inspired by these videos you put out thank you!!

[@drali]

Thanks so much for your kind words! So happy to hear you found this helpful!!!!

[@eris6676]

I recently enrolled in a public speaking class of my own next semester. I had deliberately chosen it so I could get better at it, but when I thought about it later, I felt like it was a horrible idea. However, your video helped me rethink what the class would be like, and decreased my anxiety. It also gave me a better understanding of how to manage exposure therapy for oneself. Thank you

[@PrimeMatt]

What a wonderful teacher!

[@piawaked6228]

Thank you so much for your videos! 💜 I'm a psychology major and your videos are really interesting and help me understand things better!

[@drali]

Thank YOU for your feedback! Comments like yours are the reason why I keep making videos. Best of luck with your studies!

[@piawaked6228]

💜💜💜

[@SassyL62]

UGH thank you so much this video is revolutionary

[@KuroNekoXIII]

I've had social anxiety for so long. I absolutely hate talking to someone on the phone when it requires relaying important information. I also struggle with being afraid of getting a negative reaction from strangers. That is why I let a complete stranger into my car even though I didn't want to, and nearly had a heart attack from the amount of anxiety I was having.

[@sidoniemanyfoba1654]

Hi, Dr Ali, I just wanted to thank you for this video. I did not know for sure I had anxiety issues, till I hit 30. I just thought something was very wrong with me and I was just weird functioning person. Honestly at 34 I still think that half of the time, and still avoid socialising. This video makes me feel that I can get better, so thank you for that.

[@ncf7]

I really wish I discovered your channel years ago. I have mdd, gad and social anxiety and I am now taking my masters in clinical psych. You're one of my inspirations now

[@drali]

Thanks for being here and good luck on your journey!!!

[@xdkapperino2652]

My fear is too make visual contact for long time :( (long time means more than 2 sec )

[@drali]

+xD Kapperino that's a common concern with social anxiety - a lot of people avoid eye contact due to anxiety. The good news is exposure can help. I'd start by slowly increasing eye contact with people you are more comfortable with for a short period of times (e.g. 5-10 seconds) and move forward from there. Thanks for your comment!

[@Poetry4Peace]

@@drali thanks for the amazing advicies ;P

[@doublej3995]

And there in lies our anxious realities.i for one desperately want to be touched. I have been a rather self isolated person for a long time. I want friends romantic relationship s. But, I'm so scared I think I can understand. When people do touch me I jump.

[@Poetry4Peace]

@@doublej3995 dam yh im jumpy n say i have earphones or suttin on then someone opens a door im SheLL-ShockeD. Some touchy would make me feel more wanted tho.

[@ButerWarrior44]

The confidence I feel from maintaining Eye contact never stays. It resets day to day where I’d be once again scared of making eye contact tommorow.

[@chazchillings3019]

I was really quiet in school. I remember one person asking me why I never talked but I don't remember answering him. Who knows why?

[@melaniequai1504]

Chaz Chillings and once u haven’t talked for that long u can’t talk even when u want to bc ppl find it weird cuz they used to u not talking

[@leagueofnoob3448]

the greatest info that I have ever had was by using the Seans Shy Program (i found it on google) - I found it the most useful idea that I've followed.

[@drali]

Do you have any fears? How have you coped with them?

[@rvijayteja]

The Psych Show Did they base Rajesh of the BBT on you?

[@chrish6001]

Two fears I had were fear of spiders and public speaking. I read or saw something on imagining the spider as a funny clown who was usually afraid of you so visualize that rather than be too focused on the animal itself. I still can be startled but can get a plastic cup and some cardboard and put clown spidey outside to go eat mosquitoes. A couple of things I've gleaned about public speaking is you have to keep practicing in front of others or you get rusty; say you're excited rather than nervous; and it's a good skill to aquire along with listening and giving and receiving feedback. I started going to Toastmasters when I learned they could help me overcome my feelings of nervousness when speaking up at meetings. I also liked getting out of the house to be around other adults every week. I found out they're a nonprofit organization with clubs around the world, and it's free to visit open clubs to check them out; prices vary. Some places have free youth leadership programs for those under 18 years old, there's gavel clubs in some places, and speechcraft programs that run for several weeks rather than throughout the year. I don't think I'd have been the MC at my brother's wedding without the experience. I love seeing the progress people make. It's an opportunity to help each other grow.

[@BlakeCurtis]

Doctor Ali, I want to thank you again for making videos on social anxiety, this has helped me immensely as I have moved into a career where presenting multiple times a day is now possible for me.

[@theAviatoor]

That was very informative, thank you.

[@triplec7713]

Love this mayne

[@drali]

Thanks 🙌

[@jigyanshushrivastava6153]

Great sir....You have given a meaning for you life...

[@drali]

Thank you!

[@babyree2901]

That’s crazy, I actually didn’t realize I had social anxiety until my freshman year of high school when I started getting panic attacks constantly. My sophomore year, I decided enough is enough and signed myself up for a theatre arts class and public speaking. It’s interesting to hear others going through almost the same exact thing and helpful to know others can relate. I still struggle with anxiety sometimes but getting outside and seeing others helps to put things in perspective.

[@aquila3833]

I really needed this

[@drali]

Glad it was helpful!!!

[@lorenarincon5657]

Omg! I love you and all your videos

[@s.d_8567]

For me I have had quite serious social anxiety since starting at a new school last year and am worried about playing video games online with new people. But after watching this video I feel more confident and determined to face my fears. Thanks!

[@drali]

So happy to hear it! Good luck this year.

[@jay-fs8zj]

i didn't know it but i really needed to hear this. :))

[@christychastain21]

I truly hate that I am just now , at this age seeing these videos, that he's doing I'm social anxiety. I wish I'd known about them ALOT sooner. And also definitely wished that this was the person explaining it to me. And explaining it in the way he is. This guy is awesome 💯

[@vendelaolsson7689]

I relate to this. Very helpful!

[@drali]

Glad to hear it was helpful!

[@paulam2653]

loved hearing your story and you were such a cute kid!

[@drali]

Aww thank you!

[@elinaschanel]

Congrats !!!!

[@drali]

Thank you!

[@YoursTruly78887]

This really inspired me, can you make a longer more detailed version of your story please?

[@relyfe5338]

I experienced social anxiety - starting in college. It was kind of the opposite of what you described Ali, where growing up I was a very social kid, then all of a sudden I started to experience emotions like doubt and fear around social situations. In overcoming anxiety, what I learned was it simply takes time. During my anxiety, I got into a thought loop where every social situation that went poorly gave me feedback that I wasn't "good" at talking to people. To unwrite that story took a year and a half - but the way to do that was to take baby steps in opening up to close family and friends about what I was going through. When I did open up to them, I recognized that they were incredibly supportive and understanding of my struggle. This is not my personal account btw, but an organization that I run around sharing personal challenges and struggles inspired from my own challenges in college.

[@lacigold6627]

I remember going to a parent teacher conference as a kid and having to show my parents all my work and my teacher was so shocked and surprised about how I acted. She said “I’ve never seen you like this before” I was actually comfortable and felt safe to be myself because my parents were around and I acted like a different kid. Funny to look back on that now.

[@ABetterLoveProject]

Thanks for sharing your story! #EndTheStigma

[@drali]

+Greg Matos thank you!

[@lolli8956]

Thank you, you ve helped me a lot!!!!!

[@missdoctor5876]

Same..exactly same things happened to me when I was in school...I was always selectively mute kind of person but in 7th grade my public speaking teacher told everyone in my class to prepare a speech and speak it. I became too nervous and my performance was not good at all. But the only difference between your story and my story was that I improved my nervousness all by myself without *any* help. I was determined ," I have to win the Declamation competition this year at any cost". I prepared the famous speech "I have a dream" of Martin Luther King Jr. And to everyone's surprise I won that competition. From that day I was known as the best speaker in my batch. Even today my school friends remember me as the best speaker.

[@byeFofiko1]

I was very surprised to hear you mention body focused repetitive behaviors! I have trichotillomania (in addition to my SA) and I don't really ever hear the condition discussed.

[@dota2reel909]

I am starting to overcome and manage my anxiousness and had the same therapy, my mentor right now would allow me to speak in front of small group, and now we are doing it in large group

[@malpaca3045]

Inspiring video

[@nofearnancyishere]

Ik feel the same way! Thank you for this video!

[@davidwhitcher1708]

What other people think has no effect on my anxiety. People can tell me it is just fine but i still freeze. I am an introvert so joining clubs is the opposite of the kind of thing i enjoy. If i were the last man on earth i would be happy with that.

[@susanmums6730]

really liked the video! I was wondering if you could talk about the anxiety of starting therapy with a new therapist because I am, and I'm terrified.

[@drali]

Thanks for your comment, Susan! Psychologists have studied this and it's actually very common and helpful to have anxiety when you are starting with a new therapist. I encourage you to share that with your therapist, letting them know that you feel anxious and what you are anxious about. Good luck!

[@NinjaPirates4]

Excellent video! Extremely informative and very helpful. I have arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and from when I was little all the way into my adult life now, it's stayed with me. However, around high school, when a hoard of giant spiders infested the outside patio door, I started to slowly overcome my phobia--or at least cope with it. Seeing the spiders not really going out of their way to break through the glass and attack me made me realize that they're just simple, if not creepy, creatures. So, I reasoned that I wouldn't let myself be afraid of them or kill them unless I saw them in the house or inside of where I may be like my car. If they were outside, I'd let them be; in turn, I managed to cope with my phobia and now I'm less afraid of spiders (but I won't ever watch any horror movies or documentaries related to spiders as they trigger my anxiety).

[@drali]

So wonderful to hear you were able to face this fear and develop a more realistic understanding of spiders! Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

[@Userhandle7384]

And now he has an amazing KZbin channel that helps so many, gives me hope that I can change, even though I’m middle aged now 😂

[@lizardperson2293]

I have same problem. Like literally exactly like your life story, the way you described it. I’m middle eastern, so I always been very self conscious about my race (different) and I also have selective mutism . I grew up in the Middle East then moved to US for the school. I only realized that I had ADHD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression when I moved here. “Minds are association machines” is all I needed to hear. On a separate note, it makes me think we’re a program.

[@sabinbajracharya6684]

The quote says "face your fears and the death of fear is certain". That is so true to my life or you can say expose therapy or practise.

[@inesalexandre2955]

Heyyy, big thanks for all your advice!! My greatest fear is blushing in front of everyone, but it keeps happening and I don't know how to control itttt

[@Trade1001]

Embrace it

[@alishaanimations3058]

Wow..thank you.

[@chriskes]

Well I am even anxious around my friends and I feel SO DONE with Social anxiety

[@lisaslifestyle]

Great video, and it's inspiring to hear how a psychologist has overcome social anxiety but it makes me think 'you were young and your brain was still developing, so it was probably easier to change' Is what I'm telling myself true? I'm just about to start my second half of my 1st year doing a Psychology degree in the UK and experience social anxiety a lot! At 35 I still suffer with it and worry I won't be able to help people as a counsellor or psychologist if i still suffer with it by the time i qualify or even if i find a work placement before i graduate. I've had counselling myself and learnt that CBT helps a bit but it's so hard to do consistently (maybe that's where the problem lies). What would you do in my position? Would you just practice CBT daily and gradually expose myself to social situations until it goes or until it becomes an automatic thought process or is there something more i can do? I guess more therapy for myself would help too...

[@miasterling575]

My biggest fears are bugs and germs/infections/infects/illness and traveling on my own. Don't really have a solution for the first two, but I did find my fear of traveling on my own slowly decreased when I started visiting my sister more often or going to a class, basically just the same old routine, the same route always. And then I got less scared of taking new routes that I didn't go yet, because I knew I'd eventually make it (even if I took the wrong train). Also, since I had such high motivation to visit my best friend (who lives in another country) I flew there myself. Which was a huge step haha, but I did it again and will visit her once more in a few weeks.

[@drali]

Awesome job facing your fears of traveling on your own! Sounds like you learned a lot about yourself, especially how even if you get lost you could find your way back.

[@saralyncieri3477]

I've gone through speech classes and smaller intimate group talks with friends and classmates but my social anxiety is still awful. It's actually gotten worse over the years...

[@drali]

What would you say you are worried might happen in a social situation?

[@saralyncieri3477]

I guess I am just worried about looking stupid in front of others. I know that its not a big deal and that people won't laugh or anything, but I still cannot help feeling nervous. I overthink everything, so I can't imagine that helps my situation.

[@user-du7kk8rq3f]

I've struggled with anxiety for almost 10 years now, and in 2017 i had a traumatic event that caused me to develop a stutter when speaking wich in turn made my anxiety worse. I quickly almost stopped speaking all together but beein dual language speaking i had to speak my mothertounge at work and so on, and managed to get rid of most of it. Now i get it when i speak english or i feel that the thing i'm about to say might be stupid/long/make someone take offense or if i have to enforce a boundary. I am actively working on becoming well again i have had to work alot and still work on changing my mindset and how i view the world to combat alot of my anxiety including my social anxiety, I'm a nerdy person and I have forced myself to expose myself by goin' on stage and performing infront of people, started uni where i have to sit and talk infront of my entire class aswell I joined a big online gaming community where we talk daily with each other usually alot of people and it is getting better slowly, but I still have rouble chit chatting without it sounding forced or such...

[@calibemunchin]

I came from school and this actually did help and was a little funny

[@safikhan1302]

Sir, recently my social anxiety increased a lot, even when I walk alone in the streets i feel like people who are sitting on the roadside are judging me , and i feel so anxious , so today i searched and got your video,, it would have been better if I could talk to you more closely,,, please reply..

[@kingoftheroad255]

I just watch your video and i like it.. I am afraid of facing my weaknesses It's hard for me to interact other people because of this..

[@drali]

Thanks for watching. Something that could help is considering how the current situation is helping you and what you like less about the current situation. That could help you consider if this is the right time to try to change or if its better to wait.

[@BulletProofMySoul]

For myself, I have always felt that CBT/exposure is something that won't do much for me. I feel my SA symptoms most often come organically from my brain's imbalance and not from thinking bad things into being, which is the basis of CBT. My disorder began and I tried so hard to be normal, the way I was before, and I couldn't, my body and brain were betraying me. And my cycle of fear began off of the basis of my symptoms occurring without any just reason for them. And then I would avoid because I KNEW that the symptoms would occur in a social situation. The symptoms did not occur because I feared them, I feared them because they occurred. I would like to know your thoughts on this, please?

[@drali]

There's a big range of what CBT means but a good way to think about it is learning new ways to relate to your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You might like hearing from Steven Hayes who developed a newer form of CBT called acceptance and commitment therapy: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pWickJqjhJqjpsk. A big part of this treatment is developing a new way to relate to difficult emotions.

[@Poetry4Peace]

Hmm what a enlightening video, I'm similar i talk way moore at home with family n close ppl idk if i had mutism, the QUESTION IS, is mutism worse than SA? Just came to my mind, the story is AMAZINGZ tho props to u i wish i had such opportunities or someone to push me to do it 😭😥

[@jakethesnake1691]

It may be hard, but throw yourself into situations. Ive been doing it lately and have met many new people. Just remember, if your confident and have a sense of humor people are gonna enjoy your company. Its your choice. Live with anxiety forever and not feel the sensations of life. Or throw yourself into the moment... And just go for it.

[@stephenm.1988]

I dont know if im introvert or what. I fear when im taking to someone but i feel more confident to talk with my bestfriend or a close friend

[@Honest_Man]

I can relate...intense sweating

[@spaceman4488]

Due to PTSD I have an inferiority complex and as such, I try to say what sounds 'right rather than being myself and by attempting to perfect my every word and having everyone's eyes on my (or even 1 person) I forget what I've been talking about, even if thats as simple as explaining where I'm from or what I study

[@chivy7205]

Well lucky you, you have the opportunity to get exposure gradually.

[@psychologymriu8850]

i was shy at my lower schooland scaid same i also had problem with learning d and adhd but now i am studying psychology

[@efrolina]

Not the case for people that been bullied for years cause its wayy harder to change but possible. CBT has helpfull tools. I think its important to understand what your complexes that developed with the anxiety. For me it is connected to post traume therefor my cup of treatment is psychodinamic and cbt. Its important to understand that each his own. This is quite easy case and you caught it very early in life its not an option for everyone but thanks for the video, it is inspiring that there are people who working through the anxiety

[@elizabethsmith3793]

I'm suffering from depression and anxiety. I also have been drinking. My ex boyfriend was arrested 2 weeks before Xmas for sexually assaulting my 10 year old daughter He was arrested. And things are in place, I have looked into Councelling for my daughter, but she is refusing it. She is 10 and she has been through so much I don't want to force her until she is ready. However as a mother I'm in pieces ( this happened 2020)

[@Chascoso]

Is there a way to do exposure therapy with how the world is right now?? I'm actually excited for things to go back to normal...So I can finally try to ease my anxiety

[@DottedDee]

YES, XAVIER SELF PEP-TALK!

[@drali]

Professor X is the best!

[@nicholasdemarco2990]

I am still DEATHLY afraid of spiders, although mostly just ones that look like (or perhaps even truly) eat small animals. I honestly believe my greatest fear as a creative person is that no one will care what I have to say or if it will even be good enough. I cope with it as best I can, although when my father passed in April 2015, it hit that much harder because he was truly my biggest fan and advocate for what I do. I try to do little things, yet there's this part of me that feels at 35 I must do something big and bold or else be looking back and wondering "What if?"

[@drali]

Thanks for your comment, Nicholas. Spiders are tough - I had a tough time with them when I was young. I took a summer school course on insects that helped me overcome this fear (more exposure therapy). When it comes to fears like "no one will care what I have to say", acceptance might be a good strategy to use. Acceptance doesn't mean you approve of or support the thought. Rather, it's about letting go of the struggle you have with the thought, coming to terms with it, no longer suffering as a result of it. I do this with certain thoughts that always pop up into my head by going, "Oh hello anxious thought, yup, makes sense you popped up here - I'm going through a stressful situation." Something that could help you with that is the "Passengers on the Bus" metaphor from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kGOcoaeJqtSKiMU

[@picklepirate]

In highschool and college, I was a huge, fun, gregarious extrovert. Something happened after I turned 20. I’ve turned in on myself and every social interaction is painful. Literal ringing in my ears, dry mouth, horrible palpitations. I cannot figure out what happened and find my way out of it.

[@lucarappo4607]

if the social anxiety is too severe, i have to not avoid social situazione? when i am in every social situations i fell so anxious and depersonalized. What do you think about this? thanks

[@jigyanshushrivastava6153]

Sir please make a video on diary writing and how to better diary...And the role of punishment and reward in learning...

[@drali]

Thanks for your feedback! I am hoping to make a video on learning in the future.

[@ThreeTreechaos]

Does social anxiety have to be diagnose or check with a psychiatrist?? Or what if I haven’t gone to see a psychiatrist but did my research about SAD and the results is that i feel and relate to the conditions of SAD.?

[@user-vq4fo9ck6j]

Im a alcoholic i go to groups everyday where people are obviously unwell through addiction and are obviously going to be judgemental but i have to go and speak up as thats how you get better so its hard having social anxiety aswell as suffering from alcoholism

[@addnamehere7940]

i was diagnosed with adhd because i had anxiety and didn’t like people so i thought ppl made fun of me so i got into fights and every time i did guess what “they said I DIDNT take my add meds” so all my life in school was super rough

[@PartyCatDisco]

I also had selective mutism. Which is better, I'm no longer like that, still very quiet though, and have extreme social issues. The anxiety is so heavy when I talk to people in person or voice..

[@Noctessa]

COVID-19 has excaserbated, not sure if I spelled that right lol, I was always shy for similar reason. I and my siblings were the only Native American that was in my school district. I was teased incessantly about my shyness. Now fast forward 30 years and I struggle to even shop or go to the mall. Movies, concerts and sports games are never done sober. Is the dog therapy actually successful? I used to train horses and dogs obedience for show so it sounds like a great idea.

[@jerry14heypeeps49]

Omg! He has the same exact problem as me! I don't talk in school AND people talk for me. AND I'm a chatter box at home!

[@rioroy2225]

What about those people who cannot afford to get professional help?How do they cope up with this problem?

[@diannegoode9010]

When l was a child l was very quiet at school. I would talk at home but round strangers or even some relatives l would go quiet. I was told l was shy and would grow out of it. Because l was well behaved at school l was overlooked by teaches concerned with loud kids. This selective mutism persists even now if l go somewhere l don't generally speak much. I am 66 and struggled all my life. Here in the UK there is little help for selective mutism and its only for children.