Try this and your mental health WILL improve

[@andreajacobs4806]

This channel deserves way more views

[@DrScottEilers]

Thanks for saying that! I haven’t been doing this for very long but I’m sure more people will find me eventually! ❤️

[@NothingToSeeHere1141]

I agree! I watched a couple videos before I realized it is a newer channel. I find it refreshing to have someone be honest but in such a gentle way that I don't feel so much shame about my mental health.

[@mar2nya789]

@andreajakobs Absolutely, he's brilliant!

[@NatashaLeah9]

Wow. I'm so glad I saw this video. Thank you, I really needed to hear this. What a great message, I can see how I have not been doing all these 3 factors and how it's impacted recovery for me. I appreciate all you shared here. This really inspired and brought me more empowerment. My mental health has gone really backwards lately but I will apply this now, thank you. This is the best video I've ever seen on this topic, incredibly helpful. Thank you again 🌻

[@nicolelee6591]

Highly agree

[@IntoTheMystery13]

This video helped me not end my life tonight. Thank you.

[@TheCutekiwi]

I hope you are doing okay

[@nomorework11]

Stay strong. Dont give up yet

[@TLA123y6f]

I've been there too. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other - just focus on that until you're on more stable ground. Hang in there.

[@Trudysaccount]

The world needs you!!❤Hold on or let go and let God prove his love for you. He did it for me & he will do it for you!❤

[@scarecrowling]

Are you safe?

[@Plasmafox]

There is a disconnect between knowing that things like sleep and exercise will make me feel less shitty and make working on my trauma easier, and overcoming my mental illness and dysfunction to do those things consistently long term. Nobody writing or making videos about this topic seems to do anything to bridge that gap, leaving me feeling like I'm just being told I'm not trying.

[@ChelseaWarmington-cv6ny]

I believe that is a part of the difficulty that is expected. Sometimes regardless of our mental condition, (the degree has to be taken into account here) we have to do the difficult things that we don't see the benefit in doing in the present moment in order to improve. That's where the individual will comes in. If one truly desires to get better (which we agree can be beyond difficulty with mental health symptoms), they'll HAVE to force themselves to override the negative behavioral patterns. This will take a long time, lots of effort and has to be frequent based on Scott's video. It's hard, I know, but truly there's only so much that others can do to help us improve our conditions.

[@ttephi3667]

Yes... it's very difficult. I'm in the same boat as you. To actually be able to do the things we need to do to improve mostly feels impossible.

[@patadams1589]

Absolutely agree

[@nenasadie]

This exactly. Not having the executive function to do any of these things consistently is the problem. It's not that I haven't been able to figure it out. When you add other chronic illness into the mix, and the endless cycle of hospital appointments and stress it becomes impossible. When I'm not expected to appear somewhere to be prodded, I have enough spoons to get up each day and do one other thing, not five things. A sleep schedule is a thing. Cooking is a thing. Housework is a thing. Exercise, self care, therapy, are all things. One a day. It doesn't work.

[@paulabaird1908]

Being told I'm not trying... That's how I've felt with the many therapists and psychiatrists I've seen. Not in those words, but the message is the same. But, this video is different. It's not that I'm not trying hard enough. I need to know where to put my efforts. I have found that sleep, exercise, diet, and staying away from toxins, like sugar has helped me recover. My focus falters. My focus gets lost in the absence of goals in therapy, recognition of me as an individual, and what I need to do to rejuvenate my state of of mind - I'm a get out in nature person. My attempts "to cooperate with the therapist" to prove I'm trying, feels all wrong and leaves me tired, confused, and wanting comfort food. I want my mental health to improve. I want my overall health to improve. Thank you for this video. I am more than willing to be honest with myself and ask the question, Am I consistent? The answer is no. It's ... I was going to say sad...actually, it makes me mad, that I've seen so many in the mental health field who are more concerned that their answer for my recovery is right without consideration of what all humans need to maximize health AND consideration and thought about me as an individual. Cookie cutter, one size fits all, is what I've gotten. Why? Because it works?! For who? The therapist? "I'm a good therapist. It's not me. It's you, the client." I've had enough of scapegoating. I have met plenty of people who give up and self isolate and/or turn to substance intake for temporary relief. Thank you for this video. I'm not looking to be perfect, just more balanced so I can function without debilitating anxiety and panic.

[@chchwoman9960]

Trouble is, to maintain this for sleep hygeine, exercise and nutrition, it takes good mental health to begin with.

[@tomhamelrijckx3635]

You have to take ownership of those things, otherwise you're just driftwood. In a bad mental state, you can still take ownership, create intention, and challenge yourself.

[@chchwoman9960]

@@tomhamelrijckx3635 I feel you are in the 'snap out of it' camp. Look around and see how many people clearly struggle with resisting foods that are bad for them, or controlling portion size, even many who would consider their mental health reasonable. It's easy to see why a troubled mind would have difficulty staying asleep, and exercise, yes, I agree there, even if starting with a short walk

[@dirtydan9785]

@@tomhamelrijckx3635 Hey genius, if we were able to do that, we wouldn't be in a bad mental state.

[@tomhamelrijckx3635]

What makes you think I'm unfamiliar with physical troubles, or handicaps for that matter? Few people are, actually. I learned from other people's attitude towards the most severe hardships, that taking ownership of one's own fate makes the difference at the end of the day.

[@MimiBigCat]

True, but thinking this way won't help to improve, it's like arguing for limitations, and most can't afford to be or do just that❤

[@Cliohna]

#1 model of success 5:25 #2 duration, effort, frequency 6:36 #3 critical thinking 9:18 #4 what to do 14:21; 16:33 #5 individual elements 15:17; 19:25 #6 non negotiable/universal elements 15:48

[@bonnacon1610]

the ADHD nation thanks you 🙏

[@shelleykapp9637]

​@@bonnacon1610😊❤

[@sneakerbabeful]

Yeah, this all feels like "have you ever tried not being depressed?"

[@juliemaitland1176]

I have had ME for 27 years which means that for the most of the time I feel totally exhausted with brain fog so dense I can’t think straight. I have never been given a plan to follow, perhaps because it is impossible for me to commit to anything. ME is totally unpredictable in what I can achieve, sometimes from one hour to the next. I might manage to try for a duration and make what effort I can but frequency is never going to be good enough for meaningful change. The irony is my depressive condition is largely the result of the negative impact ME has had on my life. I now have the unrelenting grief of losing my beloved mum two months ago and I’m left living on my own without her. It is too much to cope with but my doctor (UK NHS) won’t even offer a phone call let alone a face to face appointment. I recently found you and I’ve subscribed and your book is arriving tomorrow because you offer ‘hope’. I need that because living at all is very hard. Only my elderly cat makes me get up in the morning. Thank you Scott for what you are doing on utube, you are probably helping more than you know❤

[@Still-We-Rise]

Sending you compassion and Hope ❤

[@juliemaitland1176]

@@Still-We-Rise You are very kind. Receiving a reply like that makes the world seem that bit better. Thank you 😊

[@Still-We-Rise]

I understand that you suffer greatly. Sending you tenderness and hope and a warm hug. Pray good people with heart will enter your life. Even the smallest baby steps may you celebrate ❤️🙏🏻

[@nancysmith8626]

I so feel your pain. It's very hard if not impossible to follow the precepts of typical medical directives if you've been diagnosed with ME (or CFS as it's known in the U.S.). And with the lack of any viable treatment or even acknowledgment for this hideous disorder, it's an impossible situation to be in. I do hope we find some relief; I know we'd love to comply with anything that would get us better.

[@ttephi3667]

Dear Julie, I too suffer from debilitating fatigue and from that depression. I am very sorry you have lost your precious Mother, I can only imagine how hard that must be. I'm glad you have your lovely elderly cat to give you love and comfort. Big Hugs from a fellow sufferer.

[@kris2455]

That's good advise for people who already somewhat recovered and who don't want to relapse. If you are in a hole...don't worry about meal prepping and fitness studios. Chose your goals wisely. Maybe to sit in the bed instead of lying is a goal enough and a reason to cheer. Maybe to eat anything is a goal enough. Sport, food, sleep, yes, they are important but how much you can do depends on your current state. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would show a loved one who needs your help.

[@j.r.1823]

I think you are absolutely right! The goals he mentioned in the video sound like they could easily put too much pressure on a person who already is in a fragile state. I don't think he's completely wrong, but sometimes, taking the pressure to achieve a lot off and be compassionate with ourselves and what we are currently able to do is more important.

[@tsukareppi]

One of the most helpful things my therapist told me is that it is OK to do what I need to do to make my life easier when depressed. I was depressed about a pile of dishes in the sink. He said, "Why don't you just use paper plates and throw them away?" I couldn't see that simple trick in my depression. So I think making things as easy as possible for you is way OK.

[@funnymentalhealth]

I've suffered severe depression all my life. I'm 63 and 'sitting in bed instead of lying' is my advice. Do just ONE thing. Something that can be started and finished. There are times I've emptied my T shirt drawer, folded up all the T shirts and been very happy to have done. that. No need to aim for something you can't do as you're setting yourself up to fail.

[@shortycareface9678]

What's frustrating in my personal experience is that even when I feel like I am doing all of these things "right", I don't really feel like I improve long-term. I've been going to the gym weekly for almost two years straight at this point; found it's one of those foundational things that need to be in my life for me to function... but when I start slipping into more depressive episodes (or I burn out), it's very difficult to maintain all those routines that I know will improve my situation. And I guess there is that part of me that also says "what's the point tho? We're gonna be back here anyway, we always end up in the same place". I'm constantly burnt out and exhausted, so clearly I'm doing something.... and then it all leads to me wondering why I can't do this when "other people" evidently can. Why does what the majority of other people do effortlessly, take so much damn effort for me?

[@ripple_on_the_ocean]

I totally resonate with what you have to say here. Your last sentence is what I've been feeling super frustrated about lately. Like it takes me gargantuan effort to be one-quarter of the human being that everyone else seems to be effortlessly.

[@BrandyWiseNL]

Sounds like you need to fire up your inner sun, the Solar Plexus chakra. 🌞

[@nikindd]

I kind of understand you but i think the work thing is something light and chill for me, and its a way of investing my focus and energy into something that keeps me focused....cause i work more in my house, the annoying thing is the anxiety for me, like when theres no work... or the gym helped with that too. Keep my mind focused on something

[@inquisitorMence]

Honestly, I can't work out how to apply the 'with effort' part. I just want to die every day of my life. I don't understand how I can possibly have the kind of willpower needed to go to work and do my job and have anything left for doing 'the work'. Recovery (not that I even know what that would be like) can never be my priority because I have to earn money. It seems like an insurmountable contradiction. The very thing you're describing is why I lost all hope long ago.

[@AndreaDelfish]

Me too they don't know how hard it is to get by

[@nvmffs]

Recovery from what? You're looking at this from the wrong angle, is the short answer to your predicament. I encourage you to look into stoicism or some eastern alternative such as Buddhism or mindfulness. You can also try to be pragmatic - take small, manageable steps towards your goals. This approach can help you build willpower gradually and achieve a sense of accomplishment, which can be motivating and help you go through with your plan.

[@inquisitorMence]

@@nvmffs That presumes that a sense of achievement is available. It is not. I have looked into these things. They hold no answers because they presume some base functionality I do not appear to have.

[@nvmffs]

​@@inquisitorMence Let me get this straight. You want to get better, right? So how can you not get a sense of achievement when you make take a small step towards getting better? The only way that's possible if you didn't really wanna get better to begin with... for some reason. I obviously don't know your situation in detail and have to presume things but you basically need to beat your own restricting beliefs. It takes some practice if you don't naturally reflect on your thoughts and behaviors, I know. But you need to be able to distinguish between what's objectively true and what's your brain basically 'throwing a tantrum' because it dislikes what life throws at you. Take the lack of willpower, for example. From your original comment I gather that you go to work but believe that you don't have the willpower to 'do the work' afterwards. Why not try doing it before going to work? I bet you'll find that you suddenly have more than enough willpower for both. And you'll figure out why yourself.

[@inquisitorMence]

@@nvmffs You seem to be missing the point: I don't know why I don't have a sense of achievement. I don't know what it would feel like; I have no frame of reference. I also have no idea why you're adding a before/after element to willpower. If I burn out before work then I fail at doing my job properly. Not that it matters as I've lost my job since then as I couldn't cope.

[@ripple_on_the_ocean]

I'm seeing many commenters frustrated, feeling like they can't get from the hole they're in, to a place where they can apply consistent quality effort towards improving their mental health. (I feel that.) There is another Dr Scott video, I don't remember the specific title, where he encourages people to just pick one thing when they're feeling overwhelmed, and concentrate on just that. Just pick one small thing and start there, even if it seems like it's too small to make a difference. BETTER IS GOOD. "Perfect" is an illusion. I started with a commitment to one meal a day that contains some nutrient value ( yes, I'm starting from a bad place of barely eating for days or only eating junk). Just that has made me feel a tiny bit better, like, whoa, I am actually doing something for my health. It's shifted my focus towards trying to feel better instead of being entirely stuck. Next is one walk outside a day. Gonna start with like a two-minute minimum and go from there. To the ADHDers out there, I know we are trying to function without a working memory. I have a journal that I check every day ( ok, well, try to), and I have reminders all over my walls to help keep goals in sight and in mind. Hope this maybe helps. Be well everyone ❤

[@lanelson6875]

I feel like an outlier--no surprise for someone who has been an outlier since childhood! But Scott, I know even intuitively, that you are as usual on target. I thank you for your compassion and wisdom of experience. Not doing great but you, as a fellow human, give me some kind of missing perspective.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

Yes, proving the section of this video about needing to do everything at once or there's no point to be... incomplete at best. Turning around a downward spiral in a small way and building from there is a little more possible.

[@dgsmith9969]

It's just nice to hear someone who doesn't judge and who seems to understand and has a coping plan.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

Does he? I only heard "you need to have mental resources which require great mental health in order to improve mental health in any significant way"

[@liisaselenius6579]

Yes, it is true that without effort, duration and frequency you can’t succeed. But you can do all three and still fail. And that’s when it’s really going to feel hopeless. When you rely have given it all you have and it’s not enough.

[@DrScottEilers]

I know it’s a little cliche to say this, but it isn’t failure until you stop trying. It’s important not to confuse an unsuccessful period for a failure. And also perhaps not to look at failure or success as binary but rather being anchoring ends of a continuum ❤️

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

I feel like I'm mostly out of things to try. This depression started a year and a half ago. My ex of 10 yrs was cheating, so I finally kicked him out. I did give him one chance to work it out and he want back to it and tried to stay and kept lying. He's out 7 months. I had resigned myself to yearly depressions and that they lasted about 5 months, so would get through them, and try and enjoy the good times and not dwell on the 20 plus year pattern that they always came back. This one won't end. I tried a new antidepressant. It made it worse. I invited 3 old friends back to my life to combat loneliness, as I'm disabled and at home. For 4 months I was w/ one who lived a block away a lot and we seemed to be helping each other. She dropped out, not sure why. I was doing much better before she dropped out and almost found my way out, but that knocked me back. My ex pretended he wanted back, but it was only because his gf wouldn't talk to him for a few months. I'd been through too much to believe it, so resisted, and now he's back w/ her. Was getting out for walks more and walking to store regularly. His gf lives a block away, and I still tried to walk anyway, but then her look alike moved a few buildings away. I see them both on the regular. I know I'm suppposed to just overcome that too, but so far can't. I mostly stay in. My other friend I reconnected w/ died a few weeks ago. There's a huge void. Moving out of the house I co-own w/ my ex would likely help, but I can barely function, so not sure how to manage that. I kept thinking the depression would lift by now and I'd be more capable. Nope, just getting worse. I'm out of hope. Oh, and I tried to get counselling. Chased that for 2 months, dead end.

[@Lindaheal]

Something that has created a big opening for me has been understanding I operated for most of my life in a state of functional freeze. I had only enough energy and mobilization for work (which was a high stress job) and nothing left over for any ki d of healing regulation. Gentle somatic exercises have been a huge help in calming my nervous system, which frees up energy to engage in many more of the healing practices than ever before. The Workout Witch has many video shorts on KZbin that help explain this, and her channel has some free exercises you can use to get things going. It's how I have been able to m[bilize enough energy to begin accruing some of the long term mastery that this video so helpfully recommends.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

​@@DrScottEilersSo... "throw endless effort at something regardless of whether it's working"? I'm sure you don't precisely mean that, but it sounds really bad. I'd recommend trying changing some of the parametres instead.

[@acools07]

This is brilliant, I just found your channel this week, I am going through a phase where i am really struggling, and the few episodes I have watched have mad a big difference. You are the perfect combination of science, life coach, behavior modification, health coach and common sense. THIS is what mental health should be! The facets you touch on are not mutually exclusice. I am in my mid 50's and have had therapy and also seaching on my own to help myself. Please keep posting your content, you will help so many people that are needing what you offer!

[@pamela4821]

I totally agree, this channel is great, i just found it myself.. Keep fighting. 🙏

[@Plantbliss]

I’ve only been a subscriber for a couple weeks but every single video I’ve seen so far has been just what I needed to hear at this moment in my life. Synchronicity is somehow a thing

[@wachukamugenyu3743]

And has a very calming voice and tone. Even when I don't think I can apply what he says I find his takes soothing.

[@alonakimhi5171]

Absolutely wonderful and helpful! All the past year I’ve been totally hopeless for the exact reasons you describe - feeling that I’ve tried everything all through my entire life and I’m exhausted and see no future and no point to keep doing all these trivial and usless things that have nothing to do with healing from hard core depression like mine. Doctors and therapists have been suggesting this activities again and again, and I’ve learned to hate and distrust them with all my heart. But I’m listening to you now and suddenly things get much clearer - I was following all this anti- depressant advice either for too short duration, either not on a regular basis, either for too short a time. I felt that I’ve tried everything and I find myself now with a deep sense of despair. You made things much clearer for me - facing reality, my reality, tough as it is, and realizing (again) how much hard work, resilience and energy I shall have to invest into staying alive. Thank you Scott - for your wisdom, experience, and the blunt truth we have to face if we really wish to heal.

[@DrScottEilers]

I’m so glad this helped and it means the world to me that you commented! Keep it up, you will get there! 💪

[@mar2nya789]

@alonakimhi same here 😊

[@silvananicolau179]

16:53

[@Walker172012]

This is the best straight talk/ direct help line ANY CHANNEL from anybody! What Sets Eilers Apart 1 Speaks in 1st person like He’s Been There too! 2 Explains NEUROSCIENCE in your brain messing with your mind 3 Gives common examples 4 GIVES SIMPLE LITTLE OVERRIDES to train your brain to train your mind to redirect that voice 🎤Take it easy- don’t let the sound of your own voice drive you cra-zy🕺

[@littleblackbabycat]

Its a bit of a catch 22. 😢 asking and expecting a person so filled with anxiety, apathy, depression, etc to be so active and disciplined, consistent and organsied etc.... almost impossible and very unfair.

[@johntim3491]

I totally agree. Elsworth Baker wrote a book called Man in the Trap. Based on Wilhelm Reich's work ... and describes why therapy struggles to change people. People are trapped in their character....which is way bigger than a few beliefs or situations. Therefore it's important to know where to start to get very quick and early shifts in character that enable longer term commitment to change without distraction or apathy. For a basic example depression can be viewed as a holding back of life energy ... it actually takes energy to hold back the expression of righteous anger... so all energy is wasted & none is available for moving on any positive direction. The holding back is built into the musculature and posture and perhaps the character trait of fawning in the face of threat is used to ward off any remaining feelings of anger. Reich might get one in touch with their righteous anger...get them kicking...loosen the intercostal muscles that depress full ribcage expansion ... all with aim of a rapid breakthru in energy levels. Anger very often serves as a useful short term tool to energize & escape depression. Not many therapists agree with getting angry...however I'm pleased to see Gabor Mate coming down on this side of the fence. As a hypnotherapist I see depression as the thwarted expression of righteous anger....by guilt and shame it's rationalised as unacceptable...and is ultimately turned against oneself. Same with autoimmunity. The body will find a way to attack the self physically if the mind turns on itself. This is the mind body connection. Therapy fails because it sees the mind in isolation.

[@TruthHrtz413]

Yes this is something I believe you cannot do without a secure support system. As a 44 yr old suffering from CPTSD , Severe depression , anxiety and chronic pain I wasn't even diagnosed until a few years ago. Nobody helped, nobody cared. I had to go into detox and found a somewhat stable support system and have been clawing my way to "normal" for past 3 years. On top of being highly empathetic this world made it extremely difficult. But please believe there is always a way out , love yourself , look within and it will show you the way ✌

[@lorraineayres5724]

I tend to agree with you.

[@pamlucas7694]

Yes yes yes its overwhelming

[@grafxgrl8030]

I’m completely in love with this guy. He offers hope without criticism, a plan, and is coherent.

[@DrScottEilers]

100% the goal!

[@hankaul6256]

He is awesome❤

[@jewellhershey]

I wish the commenters on this podcast who feel angry, frustrated, and hurt by the suggestions could be alerted to watch the newer October 9, 2023 podcast (yesterday, for me) entitled “Why you shut down sometimes.” I think it adds an important piece of information that is missing from this video. I just found this channel today and have only watched these two videos, so far.

[@flohgraz]

"... it's gonna be very difficult for your mental health..." You said it. Many people struggling with mental health have issues maintaining consistently the most important aspects of their lives. Therefore, the main message I get here is "all the immense effort you put in so far for the last 30 years isn't good enough, you might as well give up, there's no chance for you". I assume you tried the opposite but missed the reason why it doesn't work for us.

[@deotexh]

I really like his videos but...If we need more efforts to get out of there, isn't the phrase "I'm not trying hard enough" correct...?

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

​@@deotexh that phrase implies, to me at least, that the person is capable of it. Telling someone who fails to jump over a mountain that they're "not trying hard enough" isn't generally how I see the phrase used: instead it normals refers to something the person saying it thinks ought to be doable. Which means that when said to someone who's already tried their hardest, it's stating that the speaker doesn't believe the person actually tried.

[@purenergywellness17]

Wow 😮 I am blown away because I watched another video of yours just prior to this one-and literally left a comment saying that due to multiple mental health issues there might not be hope for me-then I listened to this one and Wham! I have suffered my whole life over 40yrs and unfortunately have never been told to do what you suggested-I can’t tell you how grateful I am although sad as well that I have sought for so long … You really have the ability to help so many - we need many more people like yourself to help because too many kind and innocent people and their families suffer so much..So glad I came across your channel! Thank you!

[@amethystrocks6433]

I appreciate what you are doing here. Thanks for sharing your insights and ideas. I agree with what you are saying about needing duration, etc., but I don't know how I could apply it when my depression is bad. I've had a few severe depressive episodes lasting for one or two years. I could barely microwave a frozen meal or get myself to take a shower. There's no way I could have shopped for and prepared a healthy meal, or gone to the gym, etc. You have to be at a minimum level of functioning to have a chance of implementing all these techniques. Heck, I'm fairly functional emotionally at this point, and still not able to do much beyond basic self-care. How does a person get enough momentum to be able to implement these ideas? Thanks

[@trinitywright7122]

If you watch a couple of his other videos he tells you how to learn to celebrate yourself, which I never heard of before until I heard him say it and to do one tiny thing at a time and then celebrate yourself and I'm going with that. I'm thinking we can't do everything all at once and it's like baby steps but that's okay. So if you set up in bed, celebrate that. And if you're able to get up and get dressed inside yourself, you know be your own cheerleader, and then if you come downstairs and you put peanut butter on a piece of toast and you ate it for breakfast, that's a big celebration. And none of that is silly. It's really brilliant. He's a brilliant guy. He is really helping. And so what I meant to say is watch his videos the recent ones and pick out the ones that the speak to you. And I am writing things down in a journal book to remember and maybe you can do the same thing. In any case, good luck and we can do it. We can feel better.

[@trinitywright7122]

And I definitely understand how you're feeling. And I care

[@SkeletonSkinn]

The ability to prioritize your mental health is a PRIVILEGE. If your'e not at least middle class, you will not have the opportunity to fix your mental health to the fullest. There is in-group and out-group mentality, and your mental health only matters if you can afford it and have time to pursue it. Thing is, the out-group (low-income, marginalized, disabled, troubled youth, etc) doesn't get true mental health treatment. The in-group (middle class society and above) doesn't care about our mental health, all they care about is that our behavior is tolerable for the people around us. That's why it's usually called BEHAVIORAL health. Dialectic BEHAVIORAL therapy. Cognitive BEHAVIORAL therapy. Don't even get me started on trauma, and how the body holds onto it physically...and no amount of therapy can totally rewire your attachment style to be more secure. I'm stuck the way I am and there's no way out. I KNOW this model won't help me because I don't have the support, and I am not treated like I am worth helping.

[@MrsUzumaki]

Finally, a real comment. I am constantly stuck between trying to prioritise working through my mental health or jumping back into work where I'm constantly wishing I was dead, because I need money to pay my bills. On the other hand, what's the point in working when housing is so expensive I'll never afford to buy a home and get away from my emotionally abusive parents anyway?? It's just a lot and nothing short of a miracle can fix it. A disproportionate amount of people are depressed and there's a correlation between corruption in the system and the circumstances we're in, and knowing that we can't do anything about it.

[@ABB14-11]

Yeah, we’re all depressed here but Westerners are really a different breed of entitled. I’m always surprised at how amazing you all are at acting like society or middle class is supposed to care. Like shit, that would never have even crossed my mind and I grew up surrounded by extreme poverty. Also, DBT is the most effective therapy for a lot of mental illnesses including depression and it’s used on poor and rich alike. What a stupid conclusion that it’s meant to be some kind of proof that it’s only about getting tolerated. You should be grateful people are even trying to figure that shit out. Where the fuck did you get the idea people need to get out of their way to help you? Do they get a prize? Are they your family? Maybe the root of your issues comes from your incredible ignorant and entitled expectation that society should care more about you. The world doesn’t owe you anything. Figure it out. People are doing what they can.

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

well said and often ignored.

[@danasunshine78]

@DrScottEilers some of us are barely surviving financially ao she is right! We don’t have the luxury of time or money.

[@aprilthomas1489]

I hear you, but I think what most people are missing is the ability to do exactly these things. That is what they need support for in therapy.

[@LG-nn4tr]

I like the overall message: prioritize your mental and emotional health / duration, effort, frequency. We all as well as society in general needs to do this. I wouldn’t go to work with a broken leg that hadn’t been put in a cast and at a certain point with long term mental/emotional health situations healing should be the priority and time away from the grind should be easier to access. I 100% agree with your message and I think individuals need to take 100% accountability but SO does the system/society. To put it all on the individual and not have any caveats could actually be hurtful to some if they don’t understand this. For instance I was misdiagnosed and I truly leaned into my diagnosis and tackled it from so many different angles from counseling to peer support groups to research, etc… for ten years. There were ways in which I found strategies that helped and certain things got better but as time went on some things weren’t getting better and actually got worse. As I learned more about the mental health field and how certain things can have similar symptoms I started to understand what happened and began to totally pivot and search for a different diagnosis and different solutions and healing treatments. And now I’ve started the whole process over with new peer support groups, different therapist, tons and tons of research, etc etc. I’m going to keep working hard and hope to find more success at some point. But I just think this is a really critical caveat to add to your video for people who may take your advice but then wonder why it’s not working. It’s important that people know if they are taking 100% accountability and truly working hard at it and doing their best but things aren’t improving quite right there may be systemic things they need to take into account. Misdiagnoses can also impact minorities and POC at higher rates so especially important for them to understand this caveat.

[@DoctorCharlesSophy]

Your perspective is invaluable. Recognizing systemic factors and the possibility of misdiagnosis is crucial for holistic healing. Keep advocating for your well-being! I also speak about mental health in my channel.

[@LuZee2222]

"I've never seen anyone actually do this, but if you are the very first person on earth to do it, you'll be healed!" What a message... especially for people who are already lacking in strength and energy for more than existing. This boils down to: "If you'd just try harder, you'd get better." This is exactly NOT what I need to hear man... It's the same as saying, Oh, if you can get your hands on a million dollar, all your financial problems will be solved! Isn't that great? Why don't you just try it? Seriously, why don't you? It's so easy! Ugh!

[@TC-8789]

I could take action on this advice now that im in a much better place. But at my lowest i don't know that i could have physically followed through and "really actually tried" and i don't think im an outlier. It took moving states, cutting off family, and burning through several jobs before i found myself with enough energy or resources to "really actually" try at bettering my situation in the ways you are exampling. It was extremely difficult and its an extremely high bar for people struggling in depression.

[@annelanders2462]

This! I absolutely hate the state I live in. My whole goal is to "surround myself with decent people"

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@annelanders2462 I hope you manage that goal. I'm not sure how to. People have busy lives. No one but someone else really damaged wants to be around a depressed person who can barely get out of the house to do things. I can push myself for essential functions, but I really don't have much to say these days. Trying to make light conversation for short times is a huge effort. Other people just talk and laugh and small talk comes easy.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Wow, I'm very impressed. You managed to move states, keep a job and somehow get out of your lowest state. Which for you, sounds like it wasn't as low as people can get. I'm not downplaying what you went through. Moving states alone while very depressed sounds mount everest.

[@suap309]

My life has been very similar. I cut off from my whole family to protect from all their abuse, I relocated to move away from them, I started and finished jobs that burnt me out. I'm a shy loner, struggling with terrible insomnia and negative thoughts. I've had a really hard life. God rescued me from ending my life, then life got harder before it got easier. God will never leave me nor forget me, he loves me unconditionally, I joined ACOA a support group for adult kids of addicts and they give me a lot of love. Look them up. Blessings

[@PJB-To-be]

Last but not least, " know yourself." Do the dance, #1 duration "2 effort #3 frequency #1 non-negotiables #2 individual variables 1,2,3...1,2 Well put together. Like music. Thanks doc!

[@1ireneaustin]

I have a 132 I.Q. and this has been a blessing and a curse. You hit it precisely with the peer reviewed science that shows highly analytical people have, as a consequence of this, tend toward pessimism and anxiety. We can see the patterns and systems that want to suck out your very soul

[@ssnerd583]

DING-DING-DING!!!!!! My soul has been gone for a LONG time and its not coming back...and i know that...and HAVE known that for 30+ years and it sux beyond measure.

[@1ireneaustin]

@@ssnerd583 Please take care of yourself

[@Majorie614]

I think this is one of your best videos, as it actually made me feel hope throughout the video. But i feel like helplessness is what the maybe not so positive commenters are experiencing. It feels hard to even get the energy to get up and work on these changes. My individual situation for that energy blockage comes from feeling hopeless regarding other goals in my life for socioeconomic reasons i feel unable to change. Of course, i could think that by the time i consistently worked on my mental health, i will be at a different state and make things happen for myself, but i fear that even a good mental health state will not change the fact that i hate my profession and don't have resources to get into the field i would prefer and go to university. So basically I am trying yo say that i feel a lack of purpose, bc what i want from life feel lost, and that is such a hard pill to swallow, that i rather die than ti become better. I don't know. It seems like there is nothing worth living for. Life is short, and we only live once as the people we happened to be born as. I knoe that no one can experience everything. That is impossible. But it hurts so much to know that not even the simplest things couldn't be realized in this life and life has been wasted woth bullshit work and bullshit activities for having made naive choices when young, not amking enough money and lacking a likeminded social circle to do fun activities with. But I appreciate your work and effort you are putting in in order to help people to get out of the hole people like me are in.

[@brettcordes3602]

Duration/time, effort, frequency are attributes that most people display automatically when they are motivated to do…anything. For me, internal motivation (working toward a goal for myself) is more effective than external motivation (working toward a goal for someone else or to achieve external validation.) IMO the key is to foster a person’s internal motivation to get better. For me, realizing that I was working toward attaining the positives/blessings of recovery, as opposed to avoiding consequences or the negatives of relapse, was the most significant single perspective shift. It happened gradually, and only after I worked very hard at it for quite some time.

[@DrScottEilers]

“Motivation” is a very tricky word. Everyone wants to get better, but many don’t believe it’s possible. Belief is a component of motivation. I want to be a millionaire, but if I don’t think it’s possible I’ll probably never try. My hope is that the simplicity of this mode makes recovery feel more plausible.

[@brettcordes3602]

You are right. Perhaps “willingness to trust the process” more accurately describes my thoughts.

[@merrillsunderland8662]

I haven’t finished my Masters yet but speaking from a lifetime of utilizing mental health services, it’s way better to treat theories or schools of psychology as different compartments in the larger tool box. If you don’t have some degree of familiarity with all of them, and if you’re not competent with more than one, you will not be an effective therapist. Having said this: as much as I love Carl Rogers, I feel that instead of a theoretical orientation his work should really be thought of as the creation of a foundation one should use for ALL other treatment modalities. Regardless of your role or end goal, if you’re not coming to the space with authenticity, humility and a genuine belief that a person can (and deserves to) get better, you will not be performing to your greatest capacity as a healthcare provider.

[@Brandi.Nicole]

Agree fully to the extend that this is the same in education - various niche theories and philosophies but when combined in a classroom they are able to reach, teach and lead students (like a second lead teacher) in a more dynamic way.

[@fleurishadvisors232]

As someone with severe ADHD I just laughed at this 'model'. You basically described the anti-ADHD existence. I'd love to hear how I'm supposed to do all of these things at once when I can barely take care of them one at a time.

[@shelleykapp9637]

Maybe just start with one thing?---until you've gotten a rhythm there

[@fionaevans7502]

Exactly. ADHD and executive dysfunction almost assures that you cannot follow through with that model. I was hoping to hear something new.

[@Elizabeth-n3v2u]

Yep. This.

[@wishesandfishes]

I work with an ADHD coach and this is pretty much the model we use. In fact, I'm curious what kind of long term ADHD treatment plan would not involve those three pillars.

[@fleurishadvisors232]

@@wishesandfishes and how has that experience been for you?

[@Hildred6]

Oh my, this is a tough one, basically a clean healthy life, good food, exercise, sleep is the answer, as long as it’s done consistently, not here and there and making it a top priority. Quit the looking back, and looking forward and stay focused on the present. That’s how mentally healthy people live

[@CandanceIsMyName]

Each day I have about 4 hours of energy to spend. It's enough to take a shower and do my basic chores. After decades of working and exercising to keep myself healthy, it ended in the ER with panic attacks. At this point I'm disabled. What's healing me is to listen to my body, get up when I feel like it, and rest when I'm tired. I actually feel safe for the first time in my life. Recently I figured out my core wound. It was a huge "ah ha" moment and it brought hope. For people in my condition, goals and plans are counter-productive. I made the most progress when I told body it didn't have to do anything.

[@timpiper4261]

I just discovered you and Im so grateful. Everything you say resonates with my experiences. Ive have been devoted to feeling better and although I still struggle I can look back and be proud that I did put in the duration, effort and frequency necessary. The journey is never over though so Im loving your content. Even after all these years Im still learning and discovering . Thank You so very much for sharing your wisdom with all of us.

[@maddie8415]

I believe that many people are greatly held back by their self-limiting beliefs regarding their mental health. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues like to try to convince us that we can't get better, even when we're given evidence to the contrary. From my own experiences with anxiety and depression, working in mental health, and having friends who struggle with their mental health, I have seen that people who refuse to entertain the idea that it's possible to recover won't recover (as long as they continue to think that way). Sometimes it's literally impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I've been there myself. We have to fight these thoughts and be open to the idea that one day we will see it again and recovery will be possible.

[@Pellagrah]

The paradox, however, is that all of these disorders make it exceedingly difficult to engage in these daily habits. I suppose that's what makes being mentally ill so brutally challenging.

[@0rionica]

My only win in last months is that now I brush my teeth everyday (but not twice a day still) - thanks to operations. The rest is that for year and a half I've been staring at my computer and doing nothing valuable even for my interests (with microexceptions), let alone prospective job, sponging off my husband, who is working beyond the limit...

[@zhenren9703]

Not inly does mental health treatment need modernized but the cause of mental health issues needs to be stopped. Stop the trauma from abuse, neglect, hate crimes, sex crimes, violence.... etc. People need basic humanity courses, relationship classes and parenting guidance. All while young, then maybe academics can be taught. This society has ruined us, destroyed us. Mental health wouldn't be such an issue if we all treated each other better and lived more natural lives.

[@mindyourbusinessxoxo]

I just found you and omg...where have you been my whole life? U finally have a tiny bit of hope....and thank you for just listening to my sob story on your other vid. Sometimes it's just so nice to be heard

[@JohnPRodriguez-i1r]

I really appreciate your analogies and explanations of these variables in mental health. I agree 100% that the core principles of sleep hygiene, good nutrition, reasonable daily activities, and positive self talk (my own best friend) along with understanding what the individual barriers are and how to approach them, absolutely, will be the components of success for whomever genuinely applies them in their life! I am a new subscriber and I have watched a few of the Pod Cast videos, some shorts, and now I am looking at content by subject matter. Your explanation of ambiguous grief was so helpful. I didn't realize it was something that I have experienced in my life, more than once unfortunately, across a spectrum of a lot of different issues; I will experience it again as each existing or new dream dies... until I cease to dream any longer. Thank you very much!

[@lesleyM84]

appreciate you..

[@155rudeboy]

Thanks!

[@DrScottEilers]

Thank you so much!

[@155rudeboy]

@@DrScottEilers thank you l, I’m in a dark place right now and you’re videos are a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work👍

[@smp6441]

That was so good; dang I’d all but given up on mental health professionals as a bunch of woke monsters but I’m feeling trust for this guy and I’ve been inspired for my own health habits but also for my stepdaughter who’s mentally ill.

[@DrScottEilers]

We’re as varied as any other group of professionals! Some of us are just more vocal than others. I don’t like a lot of them either 😂

[@kayfitzgerald309]

​@dr.scotteilerspsydlp529 spoken like a REAL PROFESSIONAL 😊 Thanks!!

[@kimlr-herring]

Stop using the word 'woke'. It doesn't mean what you think it means. Your definition is incorrect and because of your incorrect definition it's used as a slur. Being 'woke' means being aware, not reactionary. Open your eyes

[@AlexA-gy7us]

​@@DrScottEilersas a professional, I think you should dig into your definition of a "woke monster" a little more

[@DrScottEilers]

@@AlexA-gy7us I have no idea what that is

[@rubyinaraindrop9825]

I can counsel or direct anyone who has depression, yet I cannot direct myself. Common sense tells me all I need to know but I get glued to the warped vision my life takes when I am in the depths of a depressive episode.

[@lucyloojones2779]

Because you make so much sense and give hope for results, I have to change…I pray I have the strength and commitment! Thanks for sharing your knowledge!

[@DrScottEilers]

You got this!

[@Allegedly..Angela]

Just found this channel. Thank you fir keeping it real and providing us with actual strategies to try and help . I appreciate you for taking the time to post these!

[@TheGiveittomeall]

First, let me say thank you for taking on the interns! I am one. Second, let me say your content is golden. I'm 54, born to a schizophrenic mother and an alcoholic father. Life has been nutty and there's a LOT of valuable life experience in my bag of tricks. Between my clinical counseling program and life experiences, I recognize quality content and you provide it. Thank you!

[@nunya257]

The way you’re laying this out is getting through to me. It’s things I know but somehow your way of organizing and delivering it is getting through to me. Thank you! It’s like Richard Bach, and many others have said, “When the student is ready the teacher comes.”

[@Dowlphin]

It can also be the case that advice is merely the carrier wave for caring, the actual magical ingredient.

[@marinapreski3908]

Your videos helps me a lot! Thank you for your channeland i also bought your book❤! I hope you continue to post because it helps so many people

[@DrScottEilers]

Thank you so much!

[@LG-nn4tr]

I also really liked that you said this may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. It’s true.. if I ever get to a place where I’ve healed and can just get to a point where I can take care of myself mentally, emotionally, physically and just the many layers of self-care I did not learn growing up and beat all the things I’ve faced it will truly be a miracle and nothing will probably ever feel harder than what I’ve dealt with for over 30 years.

[@wendym2544]

Hi Dr. Eilers, You have me laughing so hard! (at myself) Yes, this information isn't exactly ground breaking. But it DEFINITLEY needed to be said! When it comes down to it, we all HAVE to do the work we've been given, and keep on doing it, on a consistent basis. Such an obvious thing but I think a lot of us get so lost in whatever is ailing us, that we forget about this. Thank you for this excellent video. I agree with your theoretical orientation and I think no matter what "TO" other psychologists go by, they should include what you're saying here with their treatments. Very useful video. And mental health cannot be a side quest. Well said!

[@annettefournier9655]

You made me smile ear to ear. Excellent teacher. This absolutely applies to anything you do in life.

[@trinitywright7122]

Wow. Nearly 20 to 25 years of major depression and this is the first guy really helping me. And all of these physical ailments I had no idea were coming from depression and anxiety. I'd like to really thank you Dr. Scott for pointing these out because no one else ever has. You're precious!.

[@pamela4821]

I wish there was more help in this world like you, im so tired of doctors looking at people and thinking we are all just fine,just by the way we look, so many out here are so lost and alone, and they are falling through the medical cracks, it's so sad. Just because no one wants to take the time, to just care anymore...They just give us a pill, and send us home, just because they dont want to deal with us. The ones that look, just fine, are usually the ones fighting really hard, not to drown. Our own brains, can be a very dangerous place to get trapped into at times.. Are own brains can be are worst enemy at times, people need to understand they are never alone.. I just found your podcast on here. Thank you so much for caring..

[@theoriginal7727]

COME ON. Bro all brilliance coming off this channel. Thanks so much for sharing the golden nuggets every time!!

[@dulcineahidalgo3586]

Excellent video! Thank you so much. Here in Argentina, we have a LOT of psychologists, but no one has ever explained things as clearly as you have in this video! I've been in therapy for almost 14 years (I'm 34), and it always feels like it's never enough. Thanks again for your work. Could you make a video on perfectionism, please?

[@DrScottEilers]

It’s on the list!

[@dulcineahidalgo3586]

@@DrScottEilers 😻

[@Bozakky]

Unity gain. Nice explanation. Thank you, Dr. Eilers for your words of wisdom.

[@dotcassilles1488]

One thing I've noticed with getting help with my mental health has been that most who know about my mental illness, or who hear my diagnosis for the first time, make assumptions. They don't see me as an individual because they don't look beyond the description of one diagnosis. They make assumptions about what I have tried based on what they see. I've had people who know nothing comment on what I eat, how much exercise I should do, how much effort I put into trying to get better, what cures my mental illness, how I make it worse, etc. They give advice that is often useless for my circumstances and expect that the next time they see me I will have tried to do what they suggested and been successful to the point where my appearance has changed. When I am not better they assume I didn't try hard enough or that I simply don't want to be better. There is also magical thinking on their part. They assume that if I (or someone else) take the medication as prescribed then it will automatically cure me within weeks and make me completely happy and well, back to the person I was before my mental illness was triggered. In my experience people, both trained professionals and other people, who have never suffered, talk in stereotypes and platitudes and compare my overall health to others who suffer from visible and physical problems like losing a limb or cancer. Most of the symptoms I deal with daily are invisible to others, and unable to be seen even if you lived with me and followed me around 24/7. I am basically housebound (recovering from being bed bound) and only get out to be driven to doctors appointments or to do errands in the tiny town I live in. I only ever get out when I am having a good day or if I'm having a rough day and I can't cancel an appointment. I have had many times where doctors and other health professionals do not understand. I've had to educate docyors on my list of symptoms, teach about my diagnoses, argue to stay on medication that has helped me that I've been on for years, etc. My current doctor is new so I'm going thru the usual struggle where they try to send me to a pain clinic that threatened to take away all my pain medication.ind you those medications are one of a few things that are keeping me alive... I've been suicidal before due to pain and other symptoms. I've said straight out I will not be here by the end of the year if the doctor takes away the medications. I know myself, my body and mind. Since I've had chronic pain for more than 20 years and have been taken off the medication before I know what will happen if I am taken off again. This happens every time I have a new doctor or specialist. They want to stop what is helping to experiment with another drug. I lose what little quality of life I have and have to start over again and again. Why don't doctors really listen to me Blessings from South Eastern Australia, Dot

[@leighanneboles4386]

My depression comes from losing my father, my marriage, and two children within about seven years, then my mother shortly after

[@GraceGilfert-f6q]

I am so, so sorry. I hope you're doing okay.

[@breigesheppard8339]

I am going to listen to everyone off your video love yr channel and I need help soo bad Thank you soo much god bless you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👏👏❤️

[@NN-fz4pd]

I never thought of this. It’s profound. Thank you for posting this. I really haven’t put in the work that I thought I did.

[@issamelissaaa]

I just found your channel and you are truly a Godsend. Thank you so very much ❤

[@ggram0551]

Great video and channel doc. I propose a counterpoint question to theory, (which, to be noted, I'm in full agreement with...effort, duration, and consistency). I have recently developed moderate to severe adhedonia. For disclosure I also have ADHD, (Mostly Innatentive Subtype). Due to various factors, some regarding characteristics of my ADHD, but unfortunately others involving me being, literally having "bad luck," and being involved with toxic people, (Cluster B or Cluster B-esque), or situations, combined with my hyperfocus from ADHD on goals, I have become severely burned out. I also, have recently, and unjustly, been fired, via an extremely toxic, (NPD), boss, (never happened in my life before), and have been living paycheck to paycheck because of having to work extensive hours "off the clock" for years impededing me to gain additional employment and/or education. I don't want to get more lengthy and verbose than I already have, so in summation I have put extreme amounts of time, duration, and consistentcy to receive average compensation and sometimes to get screwed over and have gotten targeted because of it l, with more extensive work and unfair expectations. So at 44 I find myself with this adhedonia that I just can't shake. I do use Adderall on a PRN basis for extensive university and/or clerical type of work, but now I almost feel like I need it to function daily. Unfortunately, even if I would elect to resign myself to this, (which I philosophically don't like, as this has never been the case before, so I see it as a "band aide," tx), my body attenuates to the substance. If I had 1/16 of my former "drive, passion, or focus," back, I could "pull myself up by the bootstraps," but it almost feels that my subconscious is outsmarting my biology, ) extreme fatigue and lethargy), and conscious efforts, as the "juice isn't worth the squeeze," so literally why get out of bed. If I can realistically see a semi defined form of ROI, (being very realistic secondary to my ADHD symptomatology), I can pretty much force myself through tssks, and thus the goal accomplishment gives me a positive feedback loop. However, unfortunately I'm stuck. Any recommendations for myself or others in similar circumstances?

[@Elizabeth-n3v2u]

You just described my life and situation to a T. First person iv ever seen describe EXACTLY how I feel and my reality. Swap out a few minor details and I could have written this word for word. Wow.

[@TLA123y6f]

Dr. Eilers - you are a godsend to a lot of people right now. I ordered your book.

[@colleencorrigan8847]

Excellent !!!!!! Thank you, great video

[@Which-Way-Out]

I can totally relate, thanks so much Scott.

[@vm994]

I love your suggestions but i get frustrated with myself because i try so much, learn so much ...but either lack motivation to start or continue consistently. I am diagnosed with ADHD which means my executive functioning is faulty. It is this executive functioning that is required to "excecute" your advice consistently over time. What does one do then? I know you may not have an answer but thought id try anyway. Thanks for your channel

[@crweirdo8961]

I'm in a similar boat, so I'm just putting this here so I'll get a notification if he gives you an answer 🤷‍♂️💙

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

I don't know what to do for ADHD. I just have severe depression and it just gets worse. There are channels for tips for ADHD, so maybe they will help w/ tips. I'm leaving a comment in hopes it will bump your comment. I'd like someone else to get to some help, even if I'm beyond it now.

[@Xenogrant]

would love to hear as well

[@SparklesPancake]

Wow. This IS actually an approach I’ve never heard! That’s surprising! And I like it! You said in another video that I have to build my entire life around managing my symptoms and that seems to go along with this. This whole idea gives me a new perspective.

[@lindahennell1719]

I feel as if with your help I can find my way forward. You are the friend I need, who has the answers I'm looking for. Thank you so much

[@АлександраГришина-с5р]

Those three things, duration, effort and consistency are cool, I want to add analysis on mistakes. That might be even more important, for example, I tried to find a job for a really long time and all financial situation was the most painful thing in my life. But then I was like "okay, what if I'm doing something wrong, let's recap what exactly was I doing all this time?" And all this time I was trying to find jobs like barista or waiter, which was terrible decision and I knew that. I guess by second job I realised that it's really hard for me to do something that requires quick thinking, multitasking and doing something by hand, I might have executive dysfunction. Still I kept on trying to find specifically these types of job, why? I was convinced there are no other ways to get a job at my age and of my interest. If you don't analyse your mistakes, you'll get stuck in a loop of "I had all these three things and tried so hard so long, but even that didn't worked" well ylu had all three right components, but did you apply them to the right thing?

[@Infelious]

I've been depressed for 15 years now solidly, I've felt nothing almost fully for 10, I only enjoy video games and maybe learning the odd thing, I tried streaming to get me out of being jobless, I hate myself for not working but I hate this system, I feel let down by society and people, I want an escape... You mentioned you need 3 things for success, I put in time ( a year), I kept rigidly to a schedule, effort, I learned how to do somethings to improve the visuals, making my own avatar, saving up to buy a PC, mic etc, I didn't really get anywhere. Is effort in this case equated to talent? I don't understand how much time I should spend on things when I feel what little life is being burned away, I'm worried I'll get a miserable job and lose what little time I have for games or learning new info for being a robot. I feel like a lost cause.

[@quazzarr]

I've spent a lot of my life researching mental health, abuse, self help, philosophy, etc. Over the past two years it's been a real focus for me. I just met Blue October on sunday and had a Q&A but I was too nervous to ask the lead singer, something of an idol of mine for the past 20 years, a question but other people were asking "if you were a steak rub, what kind would you be?" and for some reason I was sitting next to a 10 year old so I didn't really want to bring the "vibe" down for everyone even though their nonsense was bringing mine down hard. So I guess I'll ask it here... after literally decades of learning all the words, processes, and a plethora of tips and tricks trying to understand your own brain. I just want to know how do you actually apply it? Like if I asked you or Justin from Blue October, I think you'd say you did it for your wife or your kids. I have neither. I've rarely been in a relationship, let alone one that isn't toxic, and I have no kids. I feel like I have no other real motivators besides myself... and I hate myself. For my whole adult life people tried blaming all my problems on my drinking. And while it definately did turn my problems up to 11, in 2018 I was at a rock bottom. Was assaulted, lost my job, lost my apartment and moved into my parents and went cold turkey from drugs and alcohol, besides weed and cigarettes. (I don't even know why I still smoke weed anymore it really messes with my anxiety) From 2018 to 2022 I was sober, but more depressed than I've ever been. I basically stayed in my room at my parents house for 4 solid years. I wouldn't come out of my room for anything. It was like I regressed into a depressed teenager again, which checks out because the last time I faced life sober I was a depressed teenager. What got me out of my room, what got me doing things, and working again, taking care of myself (for a while) was the most toxic manipulative narcisstic abusive man I've ever loved. I'm not stupid. I've always known what he is, but somehow he saved me, but in doing so got me back into alcohol and recreational drugs. Literally told me he brings me up just to bring me down, and spent the last 2 years doing that until a 6 pack once a week turned into drinking an 18 pack a day for all of last summer. I was drinking to die again. Destroying the job I was proud of, messing up my relationships with people that I restored. All the basic cliche things. I watched your video on passive SI and that's kind of what he is to me. My death wish personified. What's crazy making is he's also, somehow, the one person on the planet that can get me to take care of myself when he needs me for narcisstic supply. I see all the mechanisms at play. I see it clear as day. The only thing I cant see is how to do it on my own. I quit drinking heavily 4 months ago, but now even a 6 pack will make me lose my mind even on a good day, and all the time I'm sober I can barely function. I only eat, sleep, shower when i *need* to. Work cut my hours so I spend even more time alone in my empty house. I dont want to go and hang out with anyone because everyone I know drinks or does drugs and I literally cannot say no. And once I get a couple beers in me I just cant stop drinking. I avoid it by just never leaving the house unless I need something, meeting Blue October being a major exception because I spent tons of money last year taking him to his favourite bands and then got discarded immediately for some junkie chick with blue hair thats like 20 years older than him (jokes on them, though because they're hard into drugs and he looks like he's dying, but seeing him like that DESTROYED me) I even brought the blue haired junkie TO the concert with us on what was gonna be our anniversary of sorts just becasue I wanted to stay friends, so anyway I decided I deserved to meet my favourite band. I had a great time. For a day and a half I stayed in the city and dressed up, met my hero, had a great time. The second I got home all my BS kicked back in and I was instantly depressed again. I guess my long winded question is... when you know all the words, patterns, advice, and that you need to put the effort in consistantly over a long period of time... how exactly do you start without any real meaningful tangeble external factors? HOW do you apply them?

[@Laurie_Tinsley]

I have getting enough sleep under control....but being more active and keeping negativity out of my life ( watching the news media and KZbin channels that claim the world is coming to an end ) are something I really need to work on. I crave to get outdoors and do yardwork, but find it hard to get off my hind end to actually do it. I need to find the motivation to get more active.

[@brookeghize]

What an incredible way to look at this. I recently stopped my masters program so also enjoyed the beginning. I love your videos so much and really enjoyed this one. I would love so much to have one on one conversations with you for treatment. Thank you

[@maryseman7019]

Myson always scolds me for worrying about things that never happened! And he's right--I do worry about things that already happened!

[@Plantbliss]

I’ve struggled for 18 years. For me certain things had to fall into place. I’d tried at least 6-8 meditations. Not until I got genetic testing to narrow down a more effective choice. I’d never been prescribed a drug that worked in my body. Then weed was legalized in my state. It works like magic for my fibromyalgia pain. So many hours of therapy and now I’m on my third home ketamine treatment. It’s such hard work. But recently I heard a character say a line that had me in awe. When something inside you is broken it stays with you. You live in the past until you reconcile it. Even if it’s painful, you do the work. You do the work because you want to evolve.” - Guinan, Star Trek Picard. I so very much want to evolve

[@christinebrady6842]

From your first word to your last in this video I kept saying, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" I'm saving it and coming back for a few more listens. You make sense to me and I need things to make sense.

[@DrScottEilers]

So glad to hear that Christine

[@enice617]

Thank you. I feel like you’re helping me save my life. I appreciate your existence. Thank you.

[@tracedehaven2190]

I know that what you have to say here has certainly been true for me on my journey. Of course there is more to the picture than any one video could convey, but I like the way you put the individual in the driver's seat of their own mental healthcare.

[@canicebarbone8313]

Thank you for the content you provide. So helpful and easy to understand and apply.

[@rubyinaraindrop9825]

We are all aware that the dark times pass but when you are in the grips of it...working through it seems too much of an effort. I compare it to this... we are at the bottom of a well ,there is a ladder to get us out,we can see the light in the distance but our legs are made of lead and to get on the first step of the ladder seems impossible.

[@katie4667]

This is so helpful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge 💕🩷

[@mountainside26]

This guy is an untapped gem of helpful, useful information about mental health. No b.s.

[@ronalddesiderio7625]

I’m in. Watched two videos so far and at the very least I have hope back. Thx 🙏🏼

[@albertinadebeer4309]

Thanks.for me this advice and explanation is very helpful.

[@t.tenney3470]

I have done all 3 for about 6 years. My mental health was my #1 concern for a few years. Now? It's no longer my top concern. 😊 I've improved a lot using lifestyle changes, IFS and Focusing.

[@Everyday.homemaking]

I REALLY liked this video. Your absolutely right. I am not giving my recovery even 50%. This was inspiring

[@accuratealloys]

Problem is finding the motivation to try. I learned what anhedonia is from you. I’m experiencing complete anhedonia for a little while and I don’t see a way out.

[@donnamason6522]

Brilliant. Thank you. Feel validated😊. I have been doing these things for a couple of years and my mental health is soooooo much better. I have suffered with emotionally unstable personality disorder forever😢. But after 7 years of group psychodynamic psychotherapy with a very experienced therapist and doing the sleep hygiene, nutrition and exercise I feel much more stable, younger(I am 64) and have a life worth living. I do try to encourage my friends to adopt these strategies but there is a lack of faith and an overdependence on the medical advice and medication they are prescribed. I wish they would watch your video. Thank you again❤

[@ellesaaltjejenneke5400]

I agree with the duration, effort and frequency part, but I believe the focus on sleep, diet and exercise rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. The individual variables needed more than a minute to be honest. I’ve always been health conscious and very active. Didn’t stop me from crying and feeling absolutely miserable while riding a bike at 30km p/h. Or being suicidal. For me it were the individual variables that took me out. I’m still struggling, but focusing on those areas with a therapist is what helped me.

[@revolutionary_evolution]

I love the professionalism with lived experience model. Kinda like you. 😁

[@DrScottEilers]

Thanks, that’s 100% the goal!

[@facingthestrange]

As usual another amazing video. You make so much sense, thank you for being here.

[@skyblue3518]

So how do u get urself to do those things consistently? Sleep, nutrition, movement..

[@LG-nn4tr]

When you’re struggling with mental health it is very difficult to break your established cycles. It takes an incredible amount of work. And during late stage capitalism it has meant I had to leave a stressful job to get an easier job just to have a little more time and space and less work stress to work on this part of my life.

[@MaddSpazz2000]

I seriously, seriously needed to hear this. Thank you so much for some sobering advice.

[@DrScottEilers]

You are so welcome!

[@fabionovelli3136]

I lost faith in psicotherapy time ago, maybe not psicotherapy in itself but sure about me. I had a very rough childhood and life and was diagnosed with borderline disorder and PTSD. I stumbled across one of your videos two weeks ago and I am listening to you everyday, because I really relate to them in a way I rarely felt before. I would really like have a talk with you but I don't know if it is possible, I live in Italy and my English is not perfect as you can see. Anyway I want to thank you for your words and your contents that you give us for free

[@NetflixTopVideos]

Could have had more content to this video, it really spoke to me and I felt like it could have more to it. I am finding that you are really helping me and I undetstand you better than the people I have had counciiling with.

[@EternalKernel]

I'm sorry but the person who has that much control over themselves.. can they really even have actual mental health issues? @8:29 The way I see it, all of those things would be severely disrupted by any sort of psychological problem.

[@garimasikka10]

I relate to you so much. Thank you for making this content. It's really helpful.❤

[@rhondamarlow574]

Taking responsibilities for your self and put in the effort this works. But I did this on my own. So good to know your on the best track. Great work ❤🎉

[@cherylgatehouse8977]

You have literally saved my life with your videos so thank you ❤

[@Brandi.Nicole]

Thank you so much - this keeps mental health maintenance “simple” (as in easy to frame and remember) and concise. Ps: I am the same with nature. Gno thy self ❤ 🌲