How Men Think About You Expert: "When A Man Says This, That's A Major RED FLAG!" | Stephan Speaks

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Ever been ghosted after he practically begged you for a date? Ever found yourself seeking validation from unhealthy relationships, or struggling to decipher between manipulative tactics and genuine interest? Well homie, I’ve got your back!
In this episode of Women of Impact, I'm super excited to help you navigate the tricky world of dating. If you’re a homie of the show, then no doubt you’ve seen of my guest before. He’s the world-renowned relationship coach and best-selling author, Stephan Speaks. He’s back diving into those dating dilemmas that have you feeling lost and confused af.
Stephan is sharing the harsh truths about the realities of dating and what men actually mean when they say the darndest things. He's exposing secrets the men don’t want you to know so that you can avoid falling into 'thirst traps' and send those relationship imposters running.
Join us as we learn how to decode what men say that drive us up the wall. Hopefully you'll have empathy and at the same time have a better game plan ready next time you hear “she’s just a friend.”
Tired of feeling confused, rejected, or stuck, this episode is for you. Get ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about dating.
Your journey to a healthier, happier love life is ready to happen!
Chapter Markers:
[00:00] Decoding What Men Say 🧐
[00:37] Crazy Ex & Social Media Shy 🤪
[08:49] No One’s More Beautiful 😍
[21:28] She’s Just A Friend 🫤
[38:37] What’s Your Body Count 💯
[50:10] Let’s Stay Friends 😰
[1:03:32] ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ 🤌
[1:10:45] He Wants More 💦
[1:28:21] ‘You Were Missed’ 🙄
[1:34:54] Spot the Liars with Vanessa Van Edward 👀
****Power-Packed Bonus with Vanessa Van Edwards***
Ever felt overwhelmed by a seemingly insignificant trigger, spiraling into shame and embarrassment? Pause right there! Nicole LePera, a beloved guest on our show, decodes the intricate puzzle of our emotions, linking adult triggers to childhood challenges. Dive into her transformative workbook, 'How to Meet Yourself,' and embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing past traumas with the power of your heart.
Stephan Speaking in Quotes:
“A reluctance to accept a compliment sometimes is a fear of being vulnerable.”
“If you won’t let me love you then how can I trust that you love me?”
“We get so caught up trying to avoid the bad person we end up taking it out on a good person.”
“The more I can know about you the better I can understand you.”
“There’s a difference between who a man will sleep with and who a man will marry.”
“There’s a huge disconnect with understanding the sexual urges of men and how it is biologically wired into us.”
“When you ask a question you may get an answer you don’t want to receive.”
Follow Stephan Speaks:
Website: www.stephanspeaks.com/
KZbin: / @meetstephanspeaks
Instagram: / stephanspeaks
Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: www.scienceofpeople.com/
KZbin: / vanessavanedwardsyt
Instagram: / vvanedwards
Follow Me Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
Twitter: / lisabilyeu

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@bonnygoldberg5852]

THANK you

[@loveyourselffirst549]

If a man calls his EX crazy this is a major red flag. Chances are HIS behaviour made her that way. I would run!

[@ajr7940]

Some exes, especially in these times ...are crazy as hell! I'm a woman & when I say my ex was crazy....I mean he was crazy! Bat shit crazy lmfao. ISSUES! A walking, talking bundle of major issues

[@loveyourselffirst549]

@@ajr7940 I was talking about men??? Not women...

[@ajr7940]

@@loveyourselffirst549 Oh ok sorry...but why is it different?

[@loveyourselffirst549]

@ajr7940. I'm speaking to heterosexual women who date men, I cannot speak on other dating preferences. This is a classic tactic that emotional abusive/ narcissisic personality types use to de value their Ex partners and make themselves the victims.

[@myronbourne6937]

L Deflection. Cope harder

[@shespeaks702]

I believe in privacy of a relationship. Especially on social media.

[@myluvforfall1981]

I was dating someone who was very sweet and I was full into him. He was not communicating all of a sudden because my “vibe” changed and it didn’t. I was then blocked .. all of a sudden after almost a year “hey, how are you..” 😂go back to being the ghost you were! “I want to try again”.. I’m not forcing nothing with anybody who can’t use their words to communicate. Go play with somebody else ✌🏾

[@dcaramelone]

He met someone else. It didn't work out so now he's back. Don't reward people with bad manners.

[@cemeishorso49]

I went through the same thing. He Messaged me that he apologized and wanted to start over. He came by the same day only to have sex now I have not seen him for 6wks now. He texts every single day and calls to say he needed to hear my voice. If I don't text or call in a couple days he stops. I told him he doesn't make me a priority. He said he never said that and he misses me more than I know. But still nothing else. I'm waiting for him to text again to let him know " access denied " then I'll block him. I'm done with his insecurities and game playing.

[@dcaramelone]

@@cemeishorso49 Naw block him now. If he goes a day or two without speaking to you- block and delete. They will lovebomb you to get sex, have a waiting period and ALWAYS let them prove they mean it by observing for improvement and changed behavior. They will use you if you let them.

[@teresacroft7409]

The man stringing the woman along cause she's the one, but still seeing other women cause he's not done running around is total BS. Stephan dont justify that. If it was reverse for the woman doing that and the man found out he would be pissed off too. Discipline is NOT circumstantial. It's a choice you make. Stop excusing that BS behavior

[@spOOkySami]

I scrolled way too long to find this comment! 👏🏻

[@catshouse6192]

I really fed up with this idea that men "naturally" meant to f*ck around. Naturally there is sperm competition, nature inside a women chooses the healthiest the strongest sperm, means that it is the women who supposed to have multiple partners ACCORDING TO NATURE. But we live in a upside down world. Let alone women's orgasm much stronger and we can be faithful or have decent gap between partners and more often tha not we are faithful. So, men still going around has nothing to do with their "nature" , rather seeing a woman as thing, toy, car... it has to do with having low consciousness.

[@Katrica670]

@@spOOkySami lol the more who makes the same point, the better!

[@KatrinaJ-lf6zd]

I just say that's a foolish man unworthy of a woman that's the One t, to even try to string her alone, cause hell never have One like her in this lifetime if he lost her.

[@cjwright5458]

I agree with u i always respect his advice but this some bs he talking

[@FoougieTV]

I'm a woman in a long-term relationship. I do not post my man. Anything near and dear to my heart, I keep private and protect. I wouldn't even post my children.

[@McCoysOakHillFarm]

I am a woman and do the same. I do not post really private stuff people don't need to know and can use anything to negatively affect a person. i know people will say you should not allow what people think or say affect you. it is easier said than done.

[@RacilleAshley-sf7yv]

Amen.

[@loveyourselffirst549]

Damn right. The Internet is a scary place, I would never expose my loved ones to it.

[@ct9914]

I am the same

[@ebony916]

Same with me...when you post you open up Pandora's box 📦 I don't post my children either...my social media accounts are super boring 😅😅😅😅😅

[@maruja2023]

If he’s not ready for her, there will be someone else who is ready for the commitment so he should step aside and let her go.

[@JBjuParis]

Yes! Respect her and let her be free to make her choice instead of lying and cheating, just because you are not ready... I lost so many years for these reasons, it was so hurtful and I now have very little confidence in men 😢

[@MsRocker961]

I so agree ! I don’t want any man to waste my time ! That is selfish and not right

[@adriennelarkin8188]

@@MsRocker961 Exactly!

[@mkb5984]

Boom! But they want to be greedy- but let the woman do the same thing, oh it's a PROBLEM!

[@MsRocker961]

@@mkb5984 I don’t think anybody is saying it’s ok for a woman to do this either. Everybody needs to get of their ego and be upfront with what they want out of a relationship! If you are just looking for a hook up or friend with benefits. Then come out and say so! Then the other person has the choice to take you up on it or say No I’m looking for a committed relationship and not even waste their time playing stupid games . That’s were people hurt people and karma will come a knocking

[@TheAttractionTriggers]

*Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.*

[@iyounghuang5433]

Strength+Courage ❤

[@adrimichelle]

A lot of this sounds like sloppy excuses for lack of self control. I want a man who can stand in the face of temptation, not give into it.

[@thecorner9397]

Cause then imma give him some temptation he can give into, if you know what I mean 🤘 💯

[@qolayahsirafi1808]

Exactly!! Some men lack decipline that's all.

[@aeiou0123]

Exactly. And d part where he says men who r desirable r less likely to be disciplined. I know desirable men who r relationship men. They just dont want the stress of multiple women

[@andersnielsen6044]

Men has little to no impulse control..

[@shespeaks702]

Bottom line is...if a man is really loving a woman..it will show.

[@annechristie3843]

The part about a man’s libido being higher. Has to do with his safety. If a woman’s libido was tested when they felt safe, which is often not the case their libido would be higher to. Feeling safe never seems to be considered it should.

[@kiravampira1456]

I agree with safety increasing it, but it will *never* be even remotely as high as theirs, and Stephan himself has said it multiple times. No idea why in the world is it so hard for some people to understand and accept that men and women were designed differently. Exceptions to the rule? Obviously. Not the case when it comes to lïbïdo though.

[@saskiaarrindell186]

​@@kiravampira1456sorry don't agree, based on my personal experience

[@keshaqiana]

I saw something different and told him the friend wanted to be his woman. He ensured me she was just his friend, nothing more. He was very indifferent and I asked to establish boundaries. He continued to hang out with her. 8 months later I found out he was cheating with her. I should have moved on when he defended the friendship instead of establishing boundaries.

[@timekabolden5309]

😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😢

[@SM-cg5uy]

Intuition never lies. Sorry you went through that.

[@BiTe-Me]

Word for word the situation I was in once. I heard for months she was just a friend, just a work colleague. He even pretended he doesn't know how to pronounce her name properly (yeah, that one confirmed my suspicion 100%). After we parted ways he admitted that all the while they were sleeping together... Disgusting. I moved on with my life and now he's still reaching out to me to manipulate me and be 'friends'. Well I don't need a friend like him, that's one. Also I'm in a relationship and given how he defines 'friendship' that is not what I want around myself or my man, ever. Again, just disgusting. Some people think it's ok to go around and screw around with everyone, in any configuration, no boundaries, no morals, no loyalty, nothing... But these liars sell themselves cheap. You just need to listen closely. I hope you have moved on with your life and you are happy now. If it still hurts you, please know there is much better men out there. Good men and loyal men who appreciate a loyal and loving woman are out there.

[@gwenlee9562]

I have had male friends. After they began dating a woman and she is not feeling me. I disappear out of respect for my friend. I have enough friends and don't need to make another woman feel uncomfortable. I am over 50, I let men know that I don't share, compete, or wish to be ignored. I'm dating a man that I desired to spend more time with. We are both divorced and each own homes. He asked me to explain what I wanted. We worked out a schedule for weekdays, weekends, and holidays. If the relationship don't work out I'm walking. After all everything is TEMPORARY.

[@dcaramelone]

The funniest thing is if the shoe were on the other foot he would have allowed that.

[@LibraNYC4ever]

I like how realistic and situationally Stephen speaks about “the friend” situation. The partner should be the priority and your “friend” out of respect would want the best for you and step back.

[@teresacroft7409]

Cheating isn't just accidentally stumbling. Its a selfish choice you make. How would the guy like his woman doing that. A choice is not excusable. No oops here when it eas deliberate. No one held a gun to his head or physically forced him to cheat

[@andersnielsen6044]

Human nature is stronger than any loaded gun would ever be..

[@marygessner5108]

I agree!

[@married2purpose]

I like listening to Stephan because he exposes all of the double standards and fluid conditional expectations men have.

[@rkk2606]

Yeah, I agree it's helpful to know. I don't judge him for telling it like it is. Even though there are double standards, I don't believe in shooting the messenger, and I'd rather him tell it the way guys actually feel even though the double standards do suck sometimes.

[@michelledean6485]

Double stands are BS - I think differently now than in my younger days because my heart is now all about God and His Best for me!!! Which makes me run from men who think the way he does - Ladies you can have that kind of guy 😉

[@nameshagardner6802]

Lady’s do not tell a man how many men you slept with, a mature good man will not even ask you that. Because it’s personal business. And the “best friend” question is weird because once either person gets into a serious relationship the other person will need to back off. If my MANS best friend, was sitting on his lap that would be a huge problem..

[@cup_o_TMarie]

We all move too fast period! We need to SLOW DOWN! Get to know someone for 90 days, decide if you want to date during that time, if yes, set a rough time for yourself mentally for when you’ll decide to move from dating (hopefully monogamously) to actually building a life together. Problem is we move from the getting to know you phase straight to let’s be together forever & rarely do those relationships work. You generally won’t really know how that person shows up in relationships unless you date them monogamously first. And both people need to be courageous enough to have all kinds of communication regarding feelings, values & moving from phase to phase.

[@ajr7940]

That's expert advice! Thank u!

[@lukas4016]

I don't agree. Everytime I let a girl to slow down, I got friendzoned or I found out she had slept with someone else during this time. Never again! Now, if a woman wants to "take it slowly" I consider her simply not interested in me. I would give the same advice to my son. Everytime a woman was actually interested in my, things went pretty fast.

[@franziskani]

@@lukas4016 Being interested in you is not the same as "she is a good fit for a committed relationship with you". And the decision to date exclusively (or at least no sex with other partners) has to be a mutual decision that is respected by both partners. Of course when nothing comes of it you missed out on some sex you could have had in a short term relationship. Good training: if a woman is pregnant, has a newborn you might also not be in the mood for making love and vaginal sex could be forbidden or it hurts too much. The phrase "I let a girl slow down .... " gave you away. The girl wanted to take it slown (in this case maybe because she did not want to give up her other options for you. so not longterm relationship oriented. On the other hand we also do not know whether you wanted a real relationship, or whether you just wanted to bed her (and someone else beat you to it). The ladies that take it slowly because they do want a committed relationship will be sorted out by your criteria. Of course if the goal is to get laid, it is different - as long as both know the rules that is O.K. as well.

[@lukas4016]

@@franziskani ok, so how can I make sure that I'm not going to be friendzoned or ghosted?

[@ebony916]

​@@lukas4016I am a female and prefer to take it slow bcuz too many of us allow hormones and emotions lead us and next thing we know we've jumped into something too fast too soon and then comes disaster...I want to build a solid friendship before we move to relationships...gives a chance to build real feelings and respect for each other

[@demzwordz]

My boyfriend and I had a conversation about social media when we first started dating. We both agreed to not post anything cause we do see that social media can cause problems in relationships. We are 8 months together and I do feel it was the right decision.

[@andersnielsen6044]

Yet you are here posting on a social media...

[@MarjyGTV]

​@@andersnielsen6044 shes commenting on a post on YT. She obviously meant actually posting her private life. How you didnt understand that is beyooond me

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@MarjyGTV She just did post her private life.. The irony..

[@choclitdyme]

I LOVE Stephan so much! He is super knowledgeable at his craft! Lord, PROTECT him at ALL COST! 🙏

[@ericasmith1962]

It's crazy how they worried about someone's past when they have 8or 9 baby mama's

[@MarieJonkers-gz7cz]

What happens to the women this guy uses for his self gratification does he consider their feelings?

[@EmpressQueenB]

Exactly

[@suzanne4396]

I was once the " she's just a friend from work" woman to his wife; the wife I didn't KNOW about for 8 and a half years... ( I found out about her, told her everything and she began divorce proceedings right away !! ) So, when, 3 months ago he texted me that he was at a local event " With a friend " ( 2 days before my birthday) I cut my losses, blocked him everywhere and ran. He's also a malignant -covert narcissist...so to say it was over 9 years of toxicity is putting it mildly. 😶😶😶😑😑😑 The last thing I said to him, calmly while looking him directly in the eye was " Karma."

[@bethdouty4591]

Is there a reason you didn't want to marry in 8 years? I think I would've been gone much earlier.

[@ari_jean]

You did great, but I think you should love yourself more...

[@timekabolden5309]

😢

[@SM-cg5uy]

You were with him 8 and a half years and you knew you were being passed off as a work friend but you claim you didn't know he was married? Hahahaaaa!! Do you think we're idiots? Clearly you DID know about his wife, and you were hoping he'd leave her for you. They probably have kids and he was using them as an excuse. When you finally realized that he was never gonna leave her, THEN you contacted his wife. Not a good look for you.

[@ilikeitlikethat7305]

I really appreciate Lisa taking time to acknowledge the complexity of weight gain and the potentially deep trauma behind it 🙏🏽💕 That was very compassionate and sensitive. As for the woman gaining 100 lbs twice in the same relationship… I would say there’s still some trauma there bc why would she gain it back once in the same relationship?

[@ari_jean]

I don't know this particular woman, so it's hard to tell what her reasons were, but in my personal experince, somehow, unfortunately, I do feel LESS motivated to work out when I'm in a relationship. I was in a commited relationship for 4 years and it was impossible for me to force myself to eat less calories and be consistent with sports, while the moment the relationship ended - it magically became easy and fun to do that and I started to look 10 times better. Now I'm in a relationship again and I'm again being "lazy". After reflecting on these changes I came to a conclusion that it can be something hormonal, meaning: "I feel safe and comfortable with this man", so maybe from a biological point, my brain thinks "I need to preserve the energy for now having babies". But when I'm unconsiously in a mode of "looking for a partner", i guess the hormones shift to "let's put all the energy into attracting the best partner". Some of my female friends experience the same thing. I don't know if it's true or not, but I know that I truly want to be the person who's active and looks great despite the relationship status, but I just can't help it that in a relationship gym feels like torture, while out of the relationship gym was fun and exciting.

[@faithsrealtalk2292]

As a RN who works with hormones & dieticians. Most people in love or in a relationship release hormones that cause increased appetite & to enjoy food especially when eating together as a couple. Most people gain weight from simply eating out more, eating together etc. Unless the partner is a health freak who eats so well & exercises influencing their partner. There are those with eating disorders too who may never gain weight in a relationship.

[@Karenhypnotic]

You don’t have to disclose your body count. I would say… “I’m very particular… it’s not high”.

[@kimallnaturelle]

So I watched this intermittently today. Here's my take, if honesty is a strong value for you, you must be ready for honest takes from your partner. Yes delivery is important...relationships are messy and require both parties to be willing to vulnerable to uphold that shared value of honesty. It frustrates me as a woman that men will date not treat for commitment. State that upfront and focus on girls wanting marriage when you're ready. Love comes at desire and vulnerability. Committment comes at readiness, period. If either is missing after clear, honest communication and goal setting as a couple, move on.

[@IslaTsae]

i love this bounce with stephan - so funny! Lisa I LOVE your style, intentional listening, articulation, questions. love that you clearly listen to the interviewee's other interviews and ask something different or press them for something more. LOVE IT.

[@user-tg7xq5et1g]

I love interviews with Lewis Hawes

[@lukas4016]

I would love to hear such discussion both with Stephan and Sadia Khan at the same time

[@naomigreasley7280]

Agreed this would be incredible!

[@twonrichpo1126]

Agreed!!

[@rkk2606]

I really liked Sadia in the beginning and I think she does have good ideas. But the more I listen to her, I sense more judgment in many of her statements which is a bit off-putting. I've also noticed her verbally attacking others who don't agree with her. So I have started following her talks a lot less.

[@lukas4016]

@@rkk2606 She is more emotional. She openly said that sha has some insecurities to work on or she was attacked by some women but still she wants to spread the message to the world. I trully belive it's still worth to hear her out. Specially if she triggers some of your insecurities. If you have an insecurity, it worth to ask why this pisses you off? You need to heal all of them, to find true happiness

[@neen9438]

Sadia is a bad advice giver.😂😂

[@bahrano2268]

If someone doesn't post their relationship on insta, just accept that and do not question it! Look at the rest of the signs how he might be into you! If he's not move on

[@saltycat662]

The only men I've known who did that were serial cheaters. I understand if the guy wants to keep his privacy but when he's posting only himself or other people, he's either seeking self validation online or he's intending on cheating on the low.

[@kathywittenburg1444]

I’m surprised no one put together that the person who gained weight when being with their mate, separated, lost it, then regained it when they got back together, is a signal that something was missing when she was with him.

[@minimalistbae1986]

My ex was crazy means i couldn't play her; she wasn't dumb as i thought for the most

[@zaz4jaz]

So true

[@merrylove8966]

Hi Lisa, I just really wanna appreciate you for your effort and work! You’re amazing Beautiful human Being.😍 please continue what you’re doing. - you change my life so much for the better. I’m Learning so much from this channel. - you’re a Gift from God to Everybody! Love you! ❤

[@khadijadiouf983]

Your show is changing my Life Lil by Lil, I Love All the content ,YOU ROCK GIRL !!!!

[@annabanzon313]

I hear everything men don't say

[@SM-cg5uy]

I disagree with the part about women caring as much about their partner gaining weight. Men are much more apt to lose feelings for a woman when she gains weight. Women don't place as much emphasis on this, so in my experience, if her guy gains 40lbs, it won't affect much. Not true for men. If a women gains 25 lbs, he will become worried and lose attraction/feelings. This shows the utter superficiality of their sex. Men love for 1. Attraction and 2. Using the woman as a resource. Women love for comfort and safety.

[@debbiedegenhardt9287]

I'm guessing it goes both ways with accepting compliments because my husband brushed off every word of encouragement, every compliment, every expression of gratitude, and I felt so downtrodden and rejected I finally had to call it quits.

[@zero1188]

Maybe because affirmations wasnt his thing. Some people compliments does nothing

[@debbiedegenhardt9287]

@@zero1188 I would agree with you except he'd complain that I didn't appreciate what he did for me and that I didn't encourage him enough. Yet when I did, he brushed me off. It was deeply confusing. I always felt off balance talking with him; more and more lonely and isolated; unappreciated; discounted...

[@zero1188]

@@debbiedegenhardt9287 but you can appreciate in different ways outside of compliments. His real issue is he probably didn’t specify what he meant by appreciation. People like different things

[@debbiedegenhardt9287]

@@zero1188 another good point. I will have to explore this further. Thank you. 😊

[@lukas4016]

@@debbiedegenhardt9287 did you asked him directly what kind of appreciation and motivation does he need?

[@CatherineInColorado]

This is an amazing podcast. Thank you Lisa! ❤

[@Justineweyman88]

This man is amazing. Thank god he’s here 🙏

[@nerrissarichards]

Stephan made great points and arguments! I appreciate this channel for always having quality guests and content❤

[@workitrosi]

Thank you both very much for bringing up the difference in “I love you.” Vs “Love you.” 🙏

[@NevertoomuchK4494]

OMG the question about being friends with a friend you have slept with! Me and my ex had a heated debate about that. Yes, the answer speaks EXACTLY to my concerns. Thank you!

[@janeplus]

I love listening to his advice - he pretty much confirms every belief I have about men's behavior, and it helps me feel comfortable with my decisions in the dating realm!

[@estelacruz253]

Thank you for clarification on so many levels 🙏🏼

[@glrs.8889]

Hello guys. Thank you very much for this interview. Blessings 🙏🏽✨️

[@FredericaHamilton]

Yesss...Stephan.....You have given sound, true and reasonable advice ..I agreee. !!

[@SavvyGirl751]

As a woman the comment about the 30 pounds would make me never want to be in a relationship with that man. Why? Because of pregnancy. You have to gain 25-30 pounds minimum in a healthy pregnancy. And with those hormones changes is takes most women years to get heal from pregnancy. If you want 2 kids that is about 7-9 years for your body to fully recover. I am not going to be in a relationship with a man that is not going to be attracted to me even if I drop the pregnancy weight instantly that is still about a year of him not being attracted to me. Also other issues happen & people age. He is shallow.

[@cjwright5458]

I agree because thats a red flag.if someone really serious about u 30 pds aint nothing.that sounds like someone who will bring u down

[@faycollymore9352]

Woow Stephan is so right on all levels thanks so much for your answers.

[@lindybean2225]

I just found your videos and I absolutely love them! It’s helped me so much in my new relationship

[@shehp5190]

Outstanding conversation

[@YaYa-gy6rn]

Stephan is such a beautiful speaker.

[@DaJa-Renee5919]

I have living proof of life experience and what she is speaking is so on point. In a different example than my details but same outcome Beautiful Gift And Work.

[@adriennelarkin8188]

Stehan Speaks Is So Deep with this Topic!

[@aseelahsalaam853]

His voice is just so comforting.

[@kathyparker8357]

Yes , I Absolutely Agree 💯 With You Stephen 😊

[@cyndyontheline1640]

Stephan is amazing!❤

[@Wendurphy689]

Well, well, well. Looks like Mister “I’m So Desirable” is going to learn the hard way. Desirability is like the wind…

[@joannehightower4242]

God Bless You! Concern...the friend may represent the connection that maybe missing in the relationship lacking connection. ❤ Peace and Love, Minister Hanifah Hightower, Detroit

[@michellemyers8583]

I think its toxic and a red flag when women have male friends if married or in a relationship!

[@AndiAlexander1]

These were both GREAT interviews. But why didn’t you dedicate a full episode to each of them? Why combine them? Do a longer interview with each, and split it into two episodes is my suggestion.

[@kimberlieclark4399]

Wow!!! Very impressive content.

[@joyricherson4570]

About 4 months in I wanted my honey to post me ( not every little thing) mainly because I post everything 😂. He did tell me that sometimes he thinks i may change my mind and he doesn't want to look stupid. I totally understood and I didn't want to hound him or frustrate myself by continuing to bring it up. I prayed and told God if it's His will then tell my honey for me. Soooo later my honey was in an bad car accident. His 2 friends died and he died but was brought back. First thing he did was ask me how to post that we were married. Im like ok wait we aren't married so dont say that. Then he said ok engaged. Im like umm no, not that either. I said you can put we are in a relationship tho. So he did. I had to know what made him change his mind. He told his family that he would not have wanted to die with me wondering how he really felt. Now it's a year.

[@jenster29]

You need social media posts to feel secure ? This all sounds made up or toxic, on your part

[@QueenSoulSista]

So did he propose yet?

[@joyricherson4570]

@@jenster29 if I needed it, we would have never been together. And even if I thought I did the point is my security is ultimately in Christ. I couldn't be mad since we decided to wait a year for anything which includes gifts etc. That is why I left it alone. That's why I was surprised when he did it. He still beats himself up saying how he could have died and the world wouldn't know. I assure him that he couldn't die if God says it's meant to be. I'm a person who celebrates important things in my life. WHATEVER they are. I am all over many platforms, he barely knows how to use anything. I have been "techyish" since birth. In fact he laughed and told me a "secret" the other day. He said he doesn't know how to do anything on the phone. I laughed back and assured him I already figured that.

[@joyricherson4570]

@@QueenSoulSista I can tell he's preparing. I'm excited, and staying prayerfull. There are some things I still need to get ready. So we are still having our relationship check ups with our pastors and our other spiritual leadership. Still being intentional about praying together. That has been a challenge with our ever-changing schedules. We have implemented date night again now that he has settled into his new job a bit more. That's a schedule thing too. Now is the time to learn how to adapt.

[@xincindyxu6963]

Love to see you two together.

[@theresas.3808]

This is a great interview and enlightening! I would like to add another thing a man will say to you. At least my guy did. He has several women in addition to me. He says he doesn’t favor one woman over another. He says it to maintain peace for himself, maybe to spare a woman’s feelings, and to keep her around for whatever qualities she has to offer. It’s a good arrangement if you can stay detached and just have fun. It’s a nightmare when you love the man as I do. One needs to master compersion if she wants to stay with him.

[@zaragray6199]

Thank God that I'm single

[@Valerie-mw6ih]

This guy is spreading some crazy information. That’s what the problem is with the dating scene - because other people listen to him! Thank you Lisa for pushing back on many topics!

[@myronbourne6937]

You just hate the truth

[@amandacoles5932]

He's speaking the truth. He's speaking the nature of men but not making excuses.

[@joyricherson4570]

Like what?

[@JasmineFuller-ph3ij]

Good Advice

[@chi-chi6354]

My ex was Crazy = I have to dismiss the validity of her issues with me/the relationship and if for any reason you are In a situation where she may have opportunity to tip you off to my bs, I need you to already doubt her.

[@sharonm1364]

Hello Lisa! Hop you & Tom are well. ❤

[@Hottie_50]

On point 💯

[@CarolaAdolf]

Spot on. That guy is good.

[@arniecebaynard5822]

Never trust "she's Just a Friend" recently love bombed and gaslighting only to see him propose on the Internet after prior weekend being with him. Anger anger anger.

[@user-cw7yw6er8q]

Thank you! My ex put his ex/ best friend in front of me. Was missing him tonight and reconfirmed why I left. ❤

[@elinedejong5602]

I love ur hair a little calmer

[@liciharris]

38:49 just because I’ve been asked doesn’t mean I have to divulge my past. It is no one’s business and has no relevance to who I am. Get to know me and find out who I am. My body count or if my ex was bigger could only lead to insecurities and problems. Why cause problems with something so unimportant?

[@truebelieverinthelord7823]

Thank you!❤❤

[@staywellandstrong4199]

@13:25 - 🎉 Rocked my World. How many layers we realize we actually have...

[@AfiDeSouza-qf6nf]

This conversation Is opening another display about men to me.

[@tracysnipes2144]

He hit it on the nail with the men craving intimacy and not understanding that someone can be depressed or not communicating what we need or the needs that we need to be met. I love sex but I just try to explain what my need where but not received.

[@jvincy32]

This segment right here all 💯💯Facts

[@donnastephenson4747]

I believe when a guy says you are the most beautiful women I have ever seen to me he is referring to her personality that is why he is referring her as different because as much as he says to others you are beautiful so indeed different ways in says how beautiful. Is my perception in seeing it that way

[@CaramelD1]

I love Lisa’s jewelry!

[@elizabethabbruzzese]

I pray I find a man that is so wise as you.

[@ValarieMelton]

Greetings, well expressed with respect and emotions 💗💗 truth, beauty is within n shines out 😊 tell it 😮😮😮😊😊😊👍🏿👌🏿💯🤗 Yes!!!!!

[@anitahedgecock1968]

✨❤️✨ Fantastic✨ Thank You ✨

[@johnjosiah8839]

Appreciate the input on the topic 😊

[@stanleyhall1804]

❤❤eye contact is the code to your heart❤ youre absolutely right..i dont trust anyone that cant look in my eyes wen they talking

[@tinawright9500]

I already know that I am beautiful even b4 I even met a potential partner. But I don't agree with when a man compliments another woman while with your partner. Example, walking with your partner and seeing a beautiful woman. There's a difference between looking at the opposite sex like you giving a compliment or looking at the opposite sex like you want to have sex with them

[@user-uu9yi7hj9g]

So my husband doesn’t have it on FB that he’s married, he even unfriended me! He also told me once that another girlfriend was prettier than me!

[@michellegirau8136]

The part on the weight gain was interesting. I 100% argree that its not just the weight gain its also what goes with it. When we get with someone that was athletic and use to run together to never leaving the house gaining a bunch of weight giving 100 excuses and being super lazy. Thats not who i fell in love with. Its like a rug pull.

[@nostalgic_wishes]

Yes, but that person is going to grow old, they might get sick, no one is going to look the same after time past, but the inner core of the person should be the one who is loved. That’s real love and real love is more and more rare these days

[@shespeaks702]

If a man has a female friend thats he's close with or best friends with. There's still boundaries that need to be made. Also the man needs to make sure he is continually makes her feel his woman is THE ONE

[@shespeaks702]

And vice versa

[@cindyvazquez4333]

I love how you put.❤ Your the most beautiful woman I ever seen because of her beauty, inside and out!❤❤

[@bryanrodriguez9226]

Theres some men that will post their girl and still mess around and i also learned that regardless if they post a picture of them as a couple on whatever platform doesnt meant they are happy or they love eavhother a picture can be misleading but to the public eye we all assume they are a lovely couple

[@QueenOfPrinciple]

Mannnn,... my ex and I had a long distance relationship, mainly due to his job throughout the year. He would post me up all the time on Facebook! Well, after a major surgery I ended up finding out he had 3 other women-was serious with 1 married woman who had Herpes. No joke. God proected me and I'm healthy. Point is, how you're displayed online isn't the biggest part of your union.

[@venetabaeva652]

I disagreed on all the points said about man-woman friendship. I agree with Lisa! 🎉

[@sizzorchik]

And when he won't let go of the ex cause they're such good friends and still loves her? Then what?

[@jenster29]

Let him go

[@kateri1664]

Move on!

[@nostalgic_wishes]

Run

[@Ms.K_LaTrailera]

Yeah, move on... I was in a situation where the guy was newly divorced and he was still financially supporting his ex- wife even though she was the one to reject his paid alimony by court to her because she wanted to work, his exact words😅, and I just felt he's still not recovered from his divorce, which I understand, I had to walk away😅. There's someone out there for you who is healed and ready to be in a loving relationship with you.

[@MeMeVoyageOf]

Love your vids. Hate the ads every 5 goddamn minutes.

[@jo_fu]

Just started the episode so first question re: social media …I’m a cave woman so I’m not on FB/insta etc, I don’t feel the need. I have a newish boyfriend who wants me to join FB for reasons that aren’t important in my semi-unplugged world. I want to know him in real life, not an online presence. Listening, I’m realising it would open another can of worms if he did/didn’t post photos of us. Yeah, I’m staying in my cave 😂

[@joyricherson4570]

To me real life and social media is the same

[@jo_fu]

@@joyricherson4570 interesting. I can’t relate at all to that, but I appreciate social media is a big part of so many people’s lives and it’s each to their own, whatever they find value and happiness in 😊

[@xTridentGirlx]

@@jo_fuwell done don’t give in! Be true to yourself and stay strong 👍🌟

[@jenster29]

​@@joyricherson4570it really isn't.

[@emmalove135]

Lisa, I agree with you when you said,” desire”. I am not fond of Stephan’s example of “ chocolate cake “. I will agree with him regarding “ some of it is a societal thing and the other things that he mentioned “ . Mainly, it boils down to the mans’ desire and his ultimate decision of what is best for him. While it may be true that today’s men see more beautiful women ( Physical ) in 10 minutes than Kings of Old did in one day, they were and are still subject to “ their desire / temptation “ and that is sex. A lot of people knock the Bible; however, they just don’t and won’t have a desire or a need to know until they have hit Rock bottom in their lives. I have always been familiar with the word “ GOD “ in my life while growing up but I was and am more familiar with calling him “ the Great Spirit “ ( for me, it is my Native American heritage that innately knew this.) ; however, I have learned that there is a lot of information written within the pages of the Holy Bible that helps us to comprehend things like this that we all experience and how we can remedy those “ thoughts, ideas , distractions or others like these that are otherwise known as “ temptations” or “ sins”. If I like chocolate cake more than I should, then I may be “ tempted “ to eat it; however, since I know this about myself ( hypothetically speaking ), and I know that I would not be getting the right kind of fulfillment for my body , Soul and Spirit then , I also know that I am responsible for what I feed my body and I would not allow myself to succumb to the “ temptation “ of eating it. This idea is what I apply to all things that I would be “ tempted “ with. I understand what Stephan is referring to when he describes a man’s rationalization “ Well, I am just not going to say anything.” Which is probably the same as, “ I ‘m just gonna do things in Life instead of talk about it.” I am in a similar situation. I found GOD, was Baptized in Jesus Christ, divorced my second husband because I kept a promise to him that didn’t include that we be unequally yoked. I was frustrated with the available men around me who only wanted to fulfill their empty , temporary desires and temptations. So, I prayed to GOD and asked that since He knows all of HIS creations and HE knows me better than I know myself, would HE send a man to me IF I am to have a man in my life. And, How will I know. I heard, “ You will know.” At a time when I was closing down my heart to all men, I met one ... and I knew. He was 17 and I was 34 , then. We didn’t have contact until earlier last year when during a meditation session, I had gone to visit him via Astral Projection and another prayer to GOD that I believed would probably not have happened otherwise. We had a long visit within a short amount of time . Due to the amount of time that I had waited, I poured out my heart to him and shared my Past and helped him with some questions he had. Before my visit ended, he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him just as I was fading from his sight and I wondered if he was able to get the last two numbers. Some time past and one day he called me. Ever since he still calls, but he says nothing. I have wondered why and I think I just got my answer. However, this began with a prayer request to GOD, so I think I should like to see what this outcome will be. Thank you 🙏, Stephan , for shedding Light on a former mystery for me. And, Thank you 🙏, Lisa, for having Stephan as a guest. 👍👍🎱🦋✨✝️ 1:23:13

[@jackieschafer8264]

That’s so true. I have a male best friend. He is my roommate. 12 years living together we are like really brother and sister. That was the first thing I told my boyfriend before we started anything. And it’s been along time since since I’ve been with anyone. My past boyfriend died almost 8 years ago now. And when I finally got out of my dark place and started a relationship. He was nothing but happy for me. And gives me my distance he’s not all calling me all the time if I’m a with my boyfriend or anything. And when he’s with his girlfriend I do the same. We live together but have our own separate lives. I don’t know it’s hard to explain. But we are nothing but friends/ roommates there’s no attraction between us at all. And we never even fight. If there are no romantic feelings so no jealousy between each other. Just being friends just works for us. But when the time comes and my boyfriend and I want to live together then that’s where I’m going. And my friend understands. He just wants me to be happy. But no none ever really understands. My boyfriend now is someone I went to high school with. But lost touch with afterwards. Only knew him from my freshman year he was senior. 14yrs ago we a few conversations b it then he slowly started blowing me off. Then nothing for 14 years. I recently turned my FB back on and he eventually reached out. I was a little hesitant but I’m glad I did. I’ve also just met his parents and mine are up in a couple weeks. And after I met his he asked me when he was going to meet mine. 😊

[@anjajohansen9084]

Chemicals in perfume, soap, detergents etc. also affects endocrine hormones (dhea) like testosterone and estrogen.

[@jvincy32]

I have met a person that use that word strongly… They are just a friend but look at the way they engage.. From experience from my past marriage it turn out to be infidelity came into play

[@serenaw5107]

I’m so glad Stephan talked about the whole body count thing

[@dorothystewart58]

He always tells me that he said that he never wants to lose me I always make him smile but he want open up to me what I'm I doing wrong because I do love him with all my heart