"Don't Give Him Access!" - If He's NOT Serious, STOP Chasing & Do This Instead | Stephan Speaks

[@LisaBilyeu]

What’s the biggest red flag you look for?

[@piyusha1912]

When they don't treat children, animals and women modestly

[@r.p.8906]

when he tries to make you look small and overreacting when you just speak or when you just are.

[@alyssarose6262]

The way he treats himself honestly.. does he have integrity? Does he take care of himself, not just physically but on all levels. Spiritually, mentally.. if he doesn't value himself, how can he value you?

[@bee67371]

Love bombing.

[@sunvavachi]

@@alyssarose6262 this.

[@haileyallen7087]

"one of the biggest mistakes a man or woman can make is to let someone think no matter what they do to you, you will stay." hard truth right there. I've made this mistake

[@perism1586]

As have I, now we know better. And we deserve better.

[@Cezeji1]

Mine was 24yrs worth of that mistake. Finally woke up and divorced him

[@celiaparra8515]

@@Cezeji1 same with m 22 years. Filing for divorce

[@louisedevries4090]

No I've left the relationship. My understanding and patience ran out. He ignored my feelings too often. There was no reason to stay in this relationship anymore

[@badnelly7819]

Me too, your very right. Hindsight aye...

[@cindyvazquez4333]

I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of being with the wrong person. ❤❤

[@blesseddeshawna89]

Whew chile....

[@pamelawilliams3365]

A broken man or a narcissistic man will never be able to give the love you deserve.

[@YourNewestSebie]

How did the man break?

[@frnkjones40]

What is a broken man?

[@pamelawilliams3365]

I was told that a broken man is a man who isn't emotionally available to give love or show compassion or empathy.

[@frnkjones40]

@@pamelawilliams3365 sounds like a typical sociopath to me

[@noblespeaker24_7]

I am learning this the hard way after three years…I feel so empty. I gave my all to this person and it was all for nothing. 😔

[@nataliebishop2527]

There’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s peaceful and if the best thing for you until you meet the right person, you should not by any means “settle”. I’d rather be single than with the wrong person.

[@KimberlyBorges-h5l]

I hv said, "No arguing with anyone, or turning around in the bathroom at night in order to make sure the toilet seat is down, before your boots hits the cold water."

[@mzmagnolia2940]

I agree. Since I've been single I've learned so much about MYSELF...the inner peace I found is something I will never give up for anything in the world. I'm opened to dating but for now I'm at peace and patiently waiting for my person to come into my life...

[@retinamatthews2686]

YESSEYŸYY HELLALUJAH AMEN THANKS 🙏🏾🙌🏾❤🙏🏾

[@deborahjohnson1974]

I feel you. I love being single. It's the best thing ever. Do what you want. Be who you want. Go where you want. Do what you want. I mean it is just great. I'm in my own world and I don't even know if I have room to share it with a man, especially one that's not acceptable in my life. I love me😊

[@meliciajordan775]

Easier said than done until the bs starts

[@doll0726]

15:30 women: follow your strength= which is listen to your intuition, inner voice. 18:34 difference between connection and infatuation 28:48 bad advice men tend to follow 30:56 ask questions rather than assuming the situation and behavior 34:02 what’s gonna happen if you fake your personality and show it to him on the first date. don’t try to win the date over, show who you are instead. 37:59 what you have to be careful not to misunderstand 40:34 responsibility to convey your message to others 43:09 difference between connection, compatibility and chemistry 48:04 the blind side of dating apps

[@NHI_MINISTRIES]

Ty!!!

[@ahandl3]

The hero is here 🙌

[@doll0726]

Thank you for many likes and the comments! I’m glad to be a part of your help:)

[@shonybaby9982]

Thank you

[@elianemaeda2972]

❤

[@NathalieLazo]

“When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.” - Jay Shetty ✨

[@elisavetaivanova8518]

Omg that is such a nice quote ❤️

[@PoliticalWonderland]

Jay steals almost every quote. I suggest finding the real genius who said this. 🙄

[@Hbk-gc7st]

True! Thanks for sharing!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💝

[@PoliticalWonderland]

When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside. - *Joel Osteen* *JAY SH!TTY is a CON MAN*

[@anniemartina6767]

Such a terrible quote and not realistic. As humans we need evidence of all of this and can't just pull it out of a vacuum. Yes we need to have confidence but we need to work towards it and needs to be recognised on some scale.

[@blessedbutterflytarot3060]

There are good guys out there. You have to look for someone who is good, not just showing you a good face. My husband was very consistent in the beginning and reached out everyday to make sure I was ok. That was just in the dating phase. Six years of being together and four years married, HE IS STILL THE SAME WAY. Because that’s his character.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Where’d you find him?

[@missdawn5238]

You are truly blessed to have that , that’s so rare these days .

[@blessedbutterflytarot3060]

@@BrooklynBaby100 I’ve found I’ve had the best experiences with foreign men with great relationships (not codependent) with their mothers. Good luck!

[@realestatecoach8626]

Good isn’t always great !

[@beelaparish]

@@missdawn5238 it’s not rare you have to look at yourself and see how are you playing the game. Many men are wanting good wives but the pickings are slim. More women to men but quality women are not there either

[@LizzoBlizzo]

I’ve gotten to the point where if you gotta break down all their actions and are still left confused it ain’t worth any more of your attention.

[@TellitTay]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@childofgodskingdom8403]

Point blank periodtt

[@SongiGodsgirl]

Facts 💯 💯 left confused and not at peace 😐 run.

[@giggles1219]

Exactly. It's such a way of time.

[@dasiagraves1050]

That's me I'm tryna work it out

[@ceciliakaari782]

"Nothing will knock you down quicker than offering the best of yourself to someone and it's still not being good enough. "~M.W. Poetry.

[@justinepoyntz1474]

That’s a mistake I made my entire life. Placing my value on outside views of myself. It’s better to own your insecurities, deal With them and build Your own self Esteem. If you get rejected after that, it won’t knock you down. You’ll take as more Matter of fact. And your door will be open to keep seeking to find an ideal fit.

[@sharinvile5074]

@@justinepoyntz1474 Deng me too! 😢😢

[@-_oOtianaOo_-]

Omg this is a very devastating blow. My heart aches remembering how that felt. How it still feels. When u grow up in it and have relationships in it you start to do it to yourself too.

[@d1v1n1ti]

This was to my father ❤️‍🩹

[@christynorman7288]

So true..... Yes give the best of yourself and for it not to be good enough.... Is soul destroying and not that unusual.... Peace out 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🍀

[@lucillejones-yw6yp]

This man has qualities thats even better than a therapist and is spot on. ❤

[@maceyr.6583]

"It's easier to chase lust than to chase love". Couldn't agree more.

[@phoenixrising8007]

Chasing lust isn’t investing yourself so there is nothing to lose, nothing ventured nothing gained.

[@missqlalah]

@@phoenixrising8007 Unless the other person is invested.

[@lisacranmer8005]

@@phoenixrising8007 Agree

[@babyc.3015]

@@missqlalah if he's truly invested in you he's not gonna operate with his dick

[@user-iw8vg6rd4y]

Oh definitely

[@chosenonekay]

“Im so in love with the perception of this man i have rather than the reality of this man” freaking felt to the core 😭💯🔥

[@marawashington3280]

You too??? I thought it was just me.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Isn’t that the man’s fault? He’s keeping you at arms length on purpose Queens

[@Klvmoss10]

Yes rings so true to me

[@rdhairscience6489]

@@Klvmoss10 reé we rip

[@cn7andr]

Communicating like grown folks solves and spares a lot of this confusion and trauma

[@s.p.baughman7885]

very true...

[@Swindysux]

And if you find that it's impossible to engage your partner in a sensible way then that should indicate how successful you'll be

[@ReenaBINA]

Facts

[@charlotteclark6061]

...100!

[@SmackedyDoo]

@@Swindysux Absolutely.

[@kaykay834]

You are right!! If a person think you will NEVER leave they will stop giving 100%

[@giannamadison7275]

Most impactful statement, "you'll never be good enough for the wrong person!"

[@paval2022]

I think the advice under "Don't stay out of fear" applies for men and women. I'm a woman and I am not gonna stay in a relationship giving my love if not being reciprocated. No matter how much I love you, if you don't treat me right, I'm gone!

[@silvanusphillip5034]

Hi paola valladares you are soo right, if a man cannot reciprocated too u, run for the hills, anyway stay safe, peace, love and light, goodbye for now.

[@paval2022]

@@jujuherbst8094 You are right. I look young, but I am very close to reach 40. I am kinda that woman you are describing. My friends have kids or are married. I'm the single one. I am still recovering from a relationship that got toxic. He had a narcissistic behaviour, this of course I saw when I distance from him. It hurts so much when the person you love mistreat you, makes you feel you are not good enough and it hurts even more knowing that you have to "destroy" the love you have for that person because they don't love you. But staying there was only gonna destroy me. I am worth something. Not matter the age, someone will see it someday.

[@faizal020]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🐉 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🐉 Psalm Maverick Warsheep It’s A War Revelation 12 Don’t Allow The Devil To Do Whatever He Wants In Your Life & Generations Mastermind Analyst & Psalm Maverick Warsheep Execution Assignment 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (The Bride Of Christ)Testimony To God’s Word. Execute Judgement On My Enemies & Children’s Heads The Bible Is The Greatest Book Ever Written. God Is The Greatest Mind & Thinker To Ever Exist In Space And Time. I Stayed 8 Days In A Psychiatrist Hospital,An Occult Conspired To Attempt To Make Me Mad, Through Psychic Attacks & Mind Control (Divination) Due To My Mind, Discernment, Destiny And Purpose. God Prove (s) His Word To Be True. I Was Never Mad. My Enemies Will Pay & All Their Generations, NHS, Institutions, The Government,The Church, Zandile, Sithabile, Vunganai, maMoyo, The Nigerian Women Everyone Involved. I Never Had To Take Any Medication. I Testify To The Bible & Worship A True God Of All Creation. I’m Nothing Without The Holy Trinity. I Hope You’re Doing Well. Lets Come Into Agreement For Deliverance On Behalf Of Our Family, Children,Bloodline, Generations, Friends, Associates, Who Experiences Spiritual Warfare On The Mind, Brain, Senses , Renounce Ungodly & Rituals, Blood Sacrifices,Ministries, Education, Immigration,Sleep, Time, Curses Destiny And Purpose, Deliverance, Tormenting, Familiar Spirits, Mind Control, Monitoring Spirits, Strongman, Strongholds, Psychic Attacks, Programming, Mental Institutions, Systems, Health Department, Pharmaceuticals, Policies, Professionals, Individuals, Witchcraft, Occult, Demonic Attacks, Prayer Requests & Names, Fasting, Sacrifices, Covenants, Businesses, Projects, Anointing, Funds, Finances, Dedication, Lawsuits,Point Of Contact, Dreams & Visions, Work, Hindrances, Oppressing, Plans, Consciousness, Cognition Functions, EDF, NHS. To Be Bind Renounce Ungodly Covenants, Territorial , Strongman,Python Spirit, Marine, Ancestry Spirits 🐉🔥🐉Psalm 139 | Isaiah 9 | 27 | 43 | 53 | 54| 55 | Deuteronomy 28 | Psalm 1 | 18 | 27 | 23 | 35 | 55| Psalm 91 | Psalm 109 |Luke 10 | Mark 3 | John 1 | 1 Samuel 30 vs 8 Proverbs 1 | Matthew 26,27,28, Ephesians 6| Proverbs 31 Jeremiah 29 | Revelation 12 | 5 | 20🐉🔥🐉 Thank You God Bless In Yeshua’s Name Amen 🙏🏿

[@Yoginimassage]

@@paval2022 I am similar age and have tons of single guy friends. There are plenty of good guys around to have connection with even if not in a relationship. ..

[@paval2022]

@@Yoginimassage Hi! Completely agree with you! wish I had a more outgoing personality and could easily socialise with both, men and women. I kinda have social anxiety and suffer when in large groups of crowded places. My social group is limited. I am ok with being alone and have a great relationship with my friends, but of course it'd be nice to share my life with a nice fella .🙂

[@Kimmac-cs7km]

Man, he is teaching right now. I pray that my ears are open to receiving this message without my heart getting in the way.

[@helenacummings2745]

What I've learned Just be real and be yourself, don't try to be someone you're not when your dating be real and be truthful. Dont put all your eggs in one basket either when dating, You may be very attracted to someone but that does not mean they will be good for you or a good person , We all have intuition, Listen to it the first time and you can save yourself alot of heartache, and don't sleep with a man or women right away, see what they actually want in a relationship, see what type of person they are, how they think etc., and the most important thing are you both on the same page? Do you want the same things out of life? , Do you want a relationship in the hopes to get married one day? Just take things slow and see how it goes, and if the other person just breaks things off or tells you they aren't ready or starts to pull away don't chase them, let them go. Don't give anyone all your Power so they can hurt you deeply by it.

[@barbarajackson4245]

This is so true good advice thanks

[@chocolateicecream6995]

i'm starting to learn that. I was putting this guy on a pedestal and being very cautious about how I text him to come across interested but also give him space. Now I'll just text whatever the heck I want when I feel like it, because that's how I'm gonna act with my friends. if he's not into it he can respectfully tell me, or just pull away.

[@kathykonkle1097]

What I learned is tell the bastard right up front that you know all about his empty-headed side chick.

[@carlosibanez2763]

Girls, you're all special, don't fall for words, fall for actions. Also, talk about introducing them to your family, and the guy really has to think about whether he wants to go through all that, make sure you make him go through that, that's the action part of it. Goodluck loves! ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗

[@BrooklynBaby100]

And invite him to church see how he acts.

[@lisacranmer8005]

@@BrooklynBaby100 cool

[@mrsbdubc2174]

He can introduce you to his family and that doesn't always mean nothing.

[@carlosibanez2763]

@@mrsbdubc2174 that's so true, and the family already knows

[@marawashington3280]

Absolutely!!!!

[@karolinah12]

When you really love yourself enough, you have inner peace. Don't try so hard to figure someone else out, just pay attention to your inner feelings and if you feel secure and happy. The hard truth is that not everyone finds true love although most of us want it.

[@dorcaso1619]

step 0 honestly

[@kittychao7]

I'm learning to accept this hard truth

[@klaird_h4727]

Anyone who starts saying they love you within a short space of time (love bombing)...without having met you or barely knowing you is a HUGE red flag ladies....I know it can feel surreal, but it is definitely something you have to watch out for and run for the hills. Because honestly ask yourself, how can they love you or you them if you don't know each other?!

[@linda01234567890]

Why aren't you letting them know you, I have heard this and it was because he was hiding a lot.

[@emabella1000]

It’s possible. I met my ex online and we both said ‘ i love you’ before we actually met. Maybe it was just lust in the begining because love is sometomes you build over time, my point is that is not always a bad thing that someone can express their feelings early on. We stayed together 7 years. We broke up but it doesnt mean I regret the relationship. We were both youngr and both made mistakes. It was a leason.

[@gogoldiego]

I agree to this for many this day and time, but love is an action. My husband told me he loved me the first week we met and I loved him when I first met him. It was truly love at first sight for me. We have been happily married for over 21 years. Many can't imagine that type of love because they haven't experienced it or seen it. What helped me when I was dating, I was authentic and honest, and I was aware of disrespect from myself and others. I practice being genuine, self worth, good communication, awareness, and prayer.

[@mmommo10]

a guy was kissing me on the first few dates.....(just a peck but still!!!)

[@BlueSkyCountry]

"Lovebombing" is what serial killers and predators do too. Way too many episodes of TCAP showing the preds love bombing the decoys for days or even months before they show up to the sting house and meet Chris Hansen.

[@jazz4363]

I learned my lesson. I let a person tell me he don't like me in that way and don't want to be with me. Yet I continue to mess with him and made myself think in time he will want me. I will never do that to my self again. The worst feeling is feeling unwanted and the only thing they want from you is relations.

[@trapaceira]

Im so sorry this happend to you.❤ you are worthy✨️

[@thesolduo1786]

Communication is key! I start with communication in every relationship and I feel peaceful in most of my relationships

[@cindyjones1608]

What’s tough is when you are a decent communicator but your partner is a deaf mute when it comes to discussing relationship issues or his only statements are “I don’t know”, ‘I don’t remember”, “I don’t know how to answer that”, “I don’t understand what you’re asking, could you be more specific”, or just pulls a lie out of his butt that makes no sense at all and you just know…This is not going to end well. IT’S GOING TO END…BUT NOT WELL AT ALL.

[@katharina1439]

FINALLY A MAN CONSIDERING MEN AGE 30+ OLD!👌🏻😊 I'm so sick of those men thinking only women get old, but they are still in their prime over 40🙄! All those single men I've met over 40 are still behaving like boy Peter Pan. Not taking responsibility for their thoughts &actions, not knowing what they want, afraid of commitment &rejection, etc!🙄 Every single man over 40 or 50 STILL wants a girl in her twenties! Thinking he's desirable because he earns a little more and still got the looks. 🙄 NO they don't look their prime! 😂 None of them realizes this and they are flirting with me saying they found the woman of their dreams😅 I flirt back, but think to myself that he's waaay to old for me and can't take him seriously. They should have a woman their age -with as much baggage. All of them need a reality check.

[@sharonjosephs7603]

Couldn't agree with you more there is this one in his sixties because he dresses smartly,he doesn't know he is grey, he doesn't realize he is now putting on glasses to read, he doesn't realize he doesn't go to primary school anymore because of his age ,I could go on .

[@babyc.3015]

Men get bald in their 20s lmao not do skincare and rely on 3-in-1 body wash for the face

[@Yoginimassage]

U r so right! I don't know where men got this myth that they don't age like woman

[@TashaLemia]

Amen

[@gailainsley6939]

Yes girl. They are so delusional. 😂 especially when they’ve already been divorced or had kids but tell you (as a young woman) that they won’t do it again. Then they get shocked when you only see them as a wallet. It’s like dude.. what can you offer me? 👀😂😴

[@kami3131.]

I don’t understand excusing someone withdrawing out of protection of self because they are not ready to commit, and saying the other person shouldn’t internalise it…All they needed to was COMMUNICATE their feelings!

[@kami3131.]

…stop wasting woman’s time, why should they wait when you don’t have the respect to communicate. You can’t blame someone for assuming if you are keeping confused.

[@pj3291]

I said the same thing!! If men can only learn to communicate smh!!!!

[@lisaariottiart]

Men know how to communicate like champs when they know exactly what the want. The issue lies with the reasons they want someone. Lust is a man's biological driver. How and why to love is learned behavior.

[@Ohkeh640]

@@kami3131. yah I agree too

[@emjohnson7207]

I thought the exact same thing! Why would a woman not feel slighted, ghosted, because he changes his behavior. He was concerned that he couldn't focus on his business, blah, blah, bullsh*t. If the guy can't tell the woman he's attracted to this then how is he going to communicate in business. That advice was a load of crock and now you dealing with a woman with her guard up. A hurt woman will take a chance on love after being hurt, but most hurt men will not...as my lawn guy once told me, a divorced man in his 40s is a sure 'nough hoe. This guy really needed an older woman that's been through some stuff, and came out better, sitting next to him. .. or my lawn guy 😆

[@adetounafolabi6436]

It is very true, I became so afraid to go into a relationship because of the hurt and pain I went through in my first relationship. I fought so hard to forget it. I’m 41 and still single. I believe in marriage and want to be married. Thank God for strength, I believe he shall help me

[@pdoll96]

Telling my whole story. I knew deep down the first week of our romantic relationship that something wasn’t right and God even told me not to get intimate with him but I wanted him so much, I ignored it. Hard lesson learned. I’m so excited to see Stephan on Lisa’s show. I greatly admire them both and Tom.

[@Jennozen1]

I'm not good about INITIATING affection. My family wasn't and isn't touchy feely. Hugs feel awkward. But I love & need affection. That's why I love someone who is naturally affectionate. Having someone i like or love come up behind me and hug me unexpectedly, I melt.

[@mmommo10]

same

[@marstar24]

❤

[@christinalee9336]

This man is so wise. The best thing I heard from this interview is “don’t internalize”. It applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones. Wow.

[@bekindpeas]

Yes that's important. Yet very difficult. But wise. For your own sake

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

You guys aren’t thinking clearly. Yes he said don’t internalize and that’s correct, but everything he said afterwards was about trying to understand why a man is acting hot and cold. And then he says not to over analyze. Girl, the minute you start wasting your thoughts on WHY a man isn’t doing something, you’re already internalizing and over analyzing. Not internalizing means that a person’s actions should have no impact on your self esteem and your ability to love. You shouldn’t even concern yourself with 90% of what this man said.

[@sandragreen5146]

Most" players" leave the straight forward people alone.if they know that bullmess doesn't work on you they aren't going to keep trying.. They'd rather go to someone who is weak and easily manipulate.

[@BeautyNBrains86]

Exactly!

[@Zainygreenstone]

Not in my case. It was a challenge then.

[@SimonKnight1023]

Easy prey

[@badgal_danielle2400]

That's how they hunt

[@Fluvienne]

If a player is also a hunter, they won’t always be satisfied with easy prey. If the name of the game is get the girl/guy, then a good player knows how to play both the short game and the long game.

[@earthangel4971]

This is why communication is so important and necessary. If your words don't speak your actions will. Thats just how it goes. We have to grow up enough to communicate our truth to people even when its uncomfortable. Internilization cannot exist where there is proper communication and acknowledgement.

[@northofyou33]

I just wish I could tell the difference between a man being afraid and a man having lost interest. Sometimes it's very difficult to tell. This man has seemed so into me, and now he's pulled back and we haven't been able to see each other due to our crazy schedules, so I can't even ask him about it.

[@martinakemunto7785]

Someone who loves u will not leave u confused

[@browngoddess5340]

I really appreciated her asking the question "Do they want to be in a relationship or are they looking for someone to take care of them?

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Or are they looking for someone to make THEM feel good or a texting buddy never moving things forward

[@africanglobalnomad]

@@BrooklynBaby100 that 😝

[@africanglobalnomad]

Most people are including long marriages

[@DaleRFetz]

Work to make it work. A relationship is a live entity: it has to evolve and grow. It has to be a two- sided affair!

[@africanglobalnomad]

What about ❤️ that’s thrown in our faces? Do you need to work if you are in love?

[@Jagirl1966]

How did he get to this level of understanding? Understanding yourself is a God given gift. I am so thankful for this gentleman in sharing his gifts. Gives me hope in trusting my own intuition and forgiving myself to move into my own self/space.

[@winig5558]

Years of misaligned dating experience and coming to terms with the fact that WE are usually our biggest block between where we are and where we want to be in life, then doing the work on top of prayer is what gets us to understanding at this level. Really looking ourselves in the mirror and saying "wow, I need to do something different".

[@MissManaged1001]

Wow. This was majorly enlightening! At 38 I've sat and wondered why I choose jobless, bad boys....it's because they have nothing to do but focus on me...which ends up annoying after the "honeymoon" period ends and I feel smothered. Anyways, now I know what it is that attracts me to those types. They shower me with attention, which at first is flattering but ends up beng a break up point for me. After having to support a man and then having NO space I always leave. Wow. At 38, this man just made me realize what error I'm making and why. Life changing video! Thank you so much for making this show! You're making a difference!

[@ambertorres4444]

My intuition is always right. On top of that, I leave my prayer closet knowing the mysteries of life....armed with specific details about people, situations, motives, intentions, what people were wearing, names of strangers...it's never been wrong.

[@kelseymaher1786]

Errm after listening to the first section what I am hearing is, "if he guy isn't ready, don't move on, just wait. ---Don't "distract"/invest in your career or move on to a relationship where a guy might be emotionally ready." Yeah...why do I have to put my life on hold for someone who hasn't put in the time/effort/energy/resources to heal himself? He might be a great guy, but I'll accept that it's wrong timing and move on. Maybe I'll hear something more convincing later in the chat.

[@sunvavachi]

I had a gf who said this statement yesterday. I'm listening to the whole thing to see what else he says.

[@kelseymaher1786]

Lol I think that’s one of his pillars. He says the same thing and more on Anthony O’Neal’s interview (first 10 min).

[@sunvavachi]

@@kelseymaher1786 ah. I listened to the full episode. He brought up good points in a man's perspective. However there are women who want to make it work but certain men will keep it dragging, I've experienced that twice, respecting their career journey but I get stepped on. So if a man wants a relationship he should be ready to do the work to keep the woman to commit and vice versa.

[@donniep.1513]

I disagree. I think what’s he’s saying is being open to a new encounter with the same person in the future. Instead of internalizing why it didn’t work out during the initial encounter and unintentionally blocking the blessing.

[@kelseymaher1786]

@@donniep.1513 I definitely think there's a place for not internalizing rejection. I still have some qualms though. In his example (11:25), did the man articulate why he was slow fading or did he just disappear? Also, why was the situation framed in "I am doing this to protect her," vs. "I am not ready. I've really effed up. I am sorry I hurt you." One is hiding behind gender stereotypes and the other is taking accountability. The former is infantilizing. Thirdly, his concept of just having one person for you/connection keeps coming back around is concerning. I suppose, I believe there are many people for me, so I don't need to entertain an option of someone from my past back. Rebuilding trust would be/is really hard in these situations. Additionally, with the thought "connection coming back around" that could invite really poor behavior---what I think he needs to add in this part of his talk is honing the skill of discernment because when the man comes back, how are you going to know he's changed. And finally (lawd! this was the one that sent me over this morning), I do understand his point on 'try not to get over someone but getting under someone" (13:12), but in that same section, I am hearing that he's saying, "don't invest in you as a reaction to the dismissal, instead wait around until you feel inspired and then move on." I'd challenge him with, what if my inspired action made me as successful in my career or led to another relationship or to me having children in which case, this former guy doesn't fit in. Moving on doesn't have to be reactionary. It is necessary and doesn't mean you have to make space for scrubs from the past even though they may have worked on themselves when they show up.

[@yoshreimi]

I'm learning so much from you both in this interview. As a gay male I have a good intuition as well but girls have always been my best friends, my family. I would not be here without the women in my life. Thanks a lot Lisa for what you are doing, this is amazing.

[@iamgoddessoflove]

It's better to wait for the right person than to waste your time with the wrong person. 💙KZbinr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[@maceyr.6583]

Does it still exist? The right person? :(

[@patriciazaragoza3269]

@@maceyr.6583 Yes, it is!!! But meanwhile You find this person do not forgot to enjoy and live your life and keep learning about relationships. Do no stop because not arriving yet, when arrives You'll have experiences to share and maturity to enhance it like couple. Good Life!

[@Missindependentindustries]

"It shattered him so much he dropped out of medical school... It all fell apart because they were both scared"... Literally my pain right now.. Guess I wasn't cautious enough after being single AND abstinent for years .. broken people make people break..

[@livefromtheground7274]

I don’t believe that was the reason, sounds like a crutch. His total package got reduced and he blamed the drop out on her … baby narcissist I suspect

[@VoraCrowDarkWitch378]

It's really sad when people try to win the person & not be themself! I always be myself & if they don't like it, they're not for me!

[@winging2458]

"It is easier to chase lust, than love." Great quote and unfortunately too relevant to the shitty times we live in. Love Stephen... smart, engaging and delicious to look at. I'm glad it doesn't matter anymore. Those days are part of the past and a heavy burden dropped off. Energy should be channeled into more worthy pursuits for the betterment of Nature and Humanity. Time has taught this valuable lesson.

[@Glynis-vh4vz]

Just get God involved in your relationship and life, and you'll have no problem!!!!

[@ladyt_speaks_truths3923]

Communication is key so that both ppl can stay on the same page instead of having a situation where there is a miscommunication taking place.

[@ednaaguas8489]

Super!!!

[@Ohkeh640]

True love requires flowing back and forth 🥹❤️

[@pinkylicious6170]

The answers I have been looking for my whole life is in one video 😭 now transferring it into action is a challenge but assurance is a big first step!

[@michellemarie2590]

Fear of leaving unhealthy relationships, I once lived that as a mom. Thank you for distinguishing there is a distinction between an agreement to never divorce versus the choice to walk away from a loveless marriage unhealthy marriage. Appreciate the distinction.

[@soniagonzalez1462]

Agreed on the situations where people are truly in love but not together because of fear and hurt

[@micheleriley8985]

This interview was amazing, now my brain hurts so much information to dissect. What stood out to me is what do you want to experience in the moment instead of attaching all of these meanings to what it should be. Can we as humans just get to the point of having real conversations with each other and let that be the basis for the relationship to flow. Miscommunication always leads to us coming up with our own interpretations.

[@loriellen2726]

Michele Riley, I agreed wholeheartedly with you. If only people would be authentic… But, for many reasons, sooo many different reasons, people are not genuine. They do not own their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, desires, dreams… In my opinion, they are sincerely betraying themselves. They are misrepresenting themselves because of fears, guilt, shame, etc. to get or keep something, someone. But, if you suppress your true self, you will not be truly content, joyful, loving and at peace.

[@GodsGenuineGrace]

@@loriellen2726 Real good & I didn’t even come here intentionally. I woke & all of a sudden this was playing (auto-play).

[@loriellen2726]

@@GodsGenuineGrace Oh, so good!

[@njrosenj2206]

So resonate with your comment 🙏🏻

[@loriellen2726]

@@njrosenj2206 (warm hug)🤗

[@kadedraduke]

My intuition told me "never see this guy after today" Listen to your intuition ladies I wish I listened

[@beautifulspirit2973]

My partner was a player but when he realised he couldn’t live without me everything changed. We have an amazing connection which kept bringing us back together. The first time time we kissed we both knew that we had something very special. We’ve openly talked tonight about the cheating and I think that’s the key …. To forgive and decide whether you could imagine life without each other. We can’t … he now treats me with huge respect. We both feel that we’re soulmates and want to be together xx Update : He’s lied and cheated again, left me with a broken heart and now I do not want a man in my life. I don’t trust any of them having had bad experiences for nearly 2 years. As in the Karen Carpenter song I say goodbye to love. It doesn’t exist

[@stacyrenee480]

If love is actually what you two have, that's great.. but it seems like what men want nowadays is someone who will forgive them for doing basically whatever the **** they want, provide them with monetary means(a place to stay, income when they're in an "off season", etc) when they're having trouble acquiring it themselves, and basically allow them to take you off the shelf when they can't find a way to get their novelty some place else. That's not love. That's convenient usage of another person. The remainder of men seem to have no need for a relationship, and have a "been there, done that, paying child support so who needs women except for someone to "play" with type of attitude. The rare few who do seem to want a real relationship seek it with women who are half their age.. It's ridiculous the climate of dating anymore.. Women over 35, who wish to find "the one," fall through the cracks of a seriously broken society.. Doesn't seem to be much hope.. I haven't had a real date/boyfriend in 6 years, haven't even been asked out in all of that time (unless you count married guys looking to hook-up, homeless weirdos, middle aged **** boys, and guys half my age.. no thanks.. smh) And no it's not my attitude that's responsible for this, because the lack of enthusiasm or hopefulness has only been recent; the moment I realized no one's had any real interest in me since two presidents ago! But if what you have is real, I'm seriously happy for you, hang onto it, it's quite rare..

[@beautifulspirit2973]

@@stacyrenee480 I’ve ended it with him. You’re right a lot of men are liars and users. I’ve given up on them including the manipulative guy that led me to believe that he loved me. Once a cheat, always a cheat.

[@trapaceira]

I'm sorry this happend to you❤ I have a broken heart now. We will be ok🙏🏾

[@AlmaMartinez-]

This man is truly intunned spiritually ✨️ Not many will get it 🙏🏻💖

[@jennak.8692]

Really 😂

[@AlmaMartinez-]

@@jennak.8692 I saw your other comments that you stated he speaks alot of BS, why do you think so?

[@jennak.8692]

@@AlmaMartinez- "women should this, women should that..." He never says what a man should, u know.

[@AlmaMartinez-]

@@jennak.8692 I understand exactly what you mean, but also you don't think he says this to us ladies because more ladies get played than men do? He just wants us to be aware, as men will always do what he pleases. A man will always do what he wants, talking to men is like talking to a brick wall sometimes (especially in this generation) atleast us ladies can take what info we like & apply it.

[@saynotohookups]

@@jennak.8692 He did say that he was speaking more to women than to men.

[@rosajay]

This video needs to be viewed by EVERY MALE SEEKING PERSON. SO many golden nuggets for relationships! Thank you!

[@Dkt89]

That’s why communication is key. Our interpretations are based on our own experiences and beliefs. When it comes to relationships, most actions are fear driven. Also, if it’s a real connection, there will never be confusion. Compatibility and chemistry can always distort our perception of love or lust. Connection cannot be denied. It either is or it isn’t and there’s nothing you do can make it go away.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

Hey, what you say about women is about similar to what you could say about men. Your ego is hyper bloated man.

[@CristalJailyne]

Communication may be the key, but comprehending what they need is the issue

[@thebook6861]

I agree with not internalizing others actions. I also recommend that all persons, male, or female, talk, tell someone, this is just going to get more intense, and I’m not ready to be the man that you deserve. Then, when he comes back, she will not be resentful.

[@DMDNLove]

This was sooo good! This just reinforced for me how complicated relationships could be! There were many nuggets dropped! The big takeaway for me is to be yourself and give yourself room to be honest about what you want and where you are in life! Don’t do anything you aren’t ready for and you should be driven by what you want, and like etc… Also that compatibility, chemistry and connection are all important and depending on your personal experience one may be more important than the other but that depending on the guy and the individual details, chemistry can be more important than compatibility or vise versa! WHEWW a lot to chew on! Thank you Stephen and Lisa for a great chat!

[@tamiirae6636]

I can't tell if this video randomly playing is fate in some feelings I've been feeling or just a coincidence but it feels like I needed to hear this

[@mimomali8266]

Usually if it's instant connection it's a narcissist don't fall for it!

[@jasminedahna9901]

What do you mean?

[@margaritagonzalez5011]

Someone I knew that I felt so strong attractive to him told me one day,,,”you should be less than what you are and more like me”, and I really thought and meditate about what he said, not that I was willing to be “less of what I’m”and what that means in the first place?, the bottom line is here is, we really need to be kind to people, confident and willing to meet people half way knowing that sometimes one or the other will need to go farther, or be willing to back up a lil…loving and been in love is so beautiful, why everything has to be a fight? We really need to grow up and know that true love is real and be willing to experience what that means to us.

[@SS-in1ts]

He’s the greatest 🙏 I feel so much more confident as a woman and dating because of his advice because it’s not black and white and completely one sided bias. Thank you for meeting with him!!

[@leandraherring1824]

IVE BEEN WATCHING THIS VIDEO EVERY DAY AND NIGHT WHILE I SLEEP SO IT CAN SINK IN MY HEART ❤️❤️ THANK YOU STEPHAN SPEAKS 💯🔥

[@mollesmart]

This is so true, the in-between is where you need to hold strong. If your connection is a baby, you both need to make sure at any time one person is always protecting the baby.

[@gratefulandblessed7194]

Stefan is so insightful, you have to listen to him multiple times to take it in. Thank you Lisa for having him on your show! Also, I agree, looking at all the people who married when I was younger, all my friends that got married had doubts and many of them since have talked about desiring other men while they were in their marriages! We have to listen to our intuition, and wait on God/love, the real deal, as we do the work to prepare.

[@nyuuuchan]

Stephan is so genuine and his view of relationship dynamics is spot on. Plus he speaks clearly and logically. Another no-nonsense, valuable interview.

[@mapulem6795]

I just need a leader that will lead me gracefully & is humble enough to apologize when he makes mistakes.

[@lisadeav73]

This is so true, when you meet someone you actually like, all that common sense just goes right out the window. At least in my case it did

[@debanderson3932]

I've been watching Stephan for months now and have become much more confident in my dating life. Thank you for this video! It was FULL of very helpful information.

[@ligiasommers]

Love Stephan’s work and follow him . Thanks for having him there . Always so helpful and inspiring 🙏🏻🌹✨

[@jacquelinenoakes9318]

Very interesting 🧐. I have experienced this. One husband passed away and I truly felt no loss. The person I truly loved 🥰 had a massive heart attack and passed away and my heart jumped out of my chest.

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

Love and relationships make us grow by us learning to compromise and edit our behaviour in order to have harmony. This is the whole process of learning and improving. If people just go 'these are my preferences and that's that, you agree or bye,' seems too rigid for growth.

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

although I admit it does sound a way simpler way of doing things.....

[@lilyb2617]

Brilliant advice and this has totally shifted my mindset on a guy chasing. I don’t want a Co dependant or someone just after lust.

[@deborahedwards5004]

Finally we have a male perspective of relationships! Men are logical; women are intuitive like how he tells us the differences between connection or infatuation !perception or reality? Interesting to know! Define why there is a connection! Be true to your own self!

[@SimonKnight1023]

“Emotional”

[@xoxo-zl9qk]

„it’s how he handles REJECTION“ - boom, I was speechless. thank you

[@macareuxmoine]

I love how you explain the the differences between being blunt, asshole or compassionate and your responsibility in how to deliver a message. That’s very intelligent! A great learning!

[@MISS_SHERRY]

Inconsistency is a sign

[@coolcat3452]

You are right Stephan; I had been i a relationship for 8 yrs knowing fully well is doom to fail due to my intuition, dream, feelings & so many red flag which all I ignored!!…I walked away after 8 yrs after I got drained!😢😢

[@MY-tt8li]

Girl, 10 years. Felt all the same things but I always try to see the best in people. So hard to be proved wrong when you just want love to win.

[@coolcat3452]

@@MY-tt8li hi time we start loving ourselves more that someone else love us!!....we put so much energy into people loving us that we forget about ourselves or who we are!!!🥰🥰✌

[@KathleenMilliken]

I really needed this. I’ve made all the mistakes, listened to bad advise, didn’t listen to my intuition. Would have saved me almost two years of a situationship. I’m learning and really appreciate these insights and advise.

[@sy4665]

The father of my children left and doesn’t even want to show care towards his children. As I get extremely frustrated with his disgraceful actions, he calls me a Codependent ! My question is I’m I not supposed to expect his connection with our kids? Not supposed to except an explanation and closure? How can women express her anger and disappointment without being labelled difficult or codependent?

[@linda01234567890]

He's a psychopath, what can anyone do? 🤷

[@NoName-sp5dp]

Don't explain it to him. He's not your partner. Parent with him and move on. Explain your anger to a therapist, practice healthy communication skills and move on. Also, men hate when women move on. Your emotion is feeding his ego.

[@aquariusense]

The BEST conversation on connection and compatibility! Great job Stephan!

[@ParentingPitstop]

Love that my two favorite people got together and made history 💛🤩🤗🥹🙏🏾 keep inspiring!!

[@charlotteclark6061]

...yes! They are great! So thankful to them!

[@Metaphysical111]

And... That's the point! Authenticity! Show up as yourself unapologetically.

[@desraclarke2130]

This is a so true a lot of us women see the red flogs but still enter those relationship and regret in the end ,men do have the same experience

[@aude-linedurand1394]

I never comment but i had to! Brilliant, interesting, clear interview both for men and women. Almost didn't watch because of...the title !!! It doesn't do the video justice, to my opinion of course 😉 This is not only about not being played and how does a manipulator act etc. This is deep thoughts and knowledge about our relationship with ourselves and love relationships, spoken in such a kind and loving manner ! Loved it.

[@vashaya7446]

Intuition mind is key time for us to awaken

[@elisharamosotero9064]

“Dating Fatigue” powerful. Without him even elaborating i knew what he meant. You’re exhausted, you’re literally burnt out, you’ve given everything you could. It will never be enough for the wrong person

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

This is hugely logical..... and makes total sense. If all that mattered is happy comfortable couples. It doesn't allow for the magic spark that is love despite being opposites, love despite flaws, love despite disagreements on everything. Love is most magical when you feel so much for them that you overcome any odds. Even if one is vegan, one loves meat, one loves money, one hates it, you still find a compromise. I totally hear that checking these points early on means less problems down the line, but in my experience love hits you like a smack in the face and by then it is too late for logical lists. When you connect you connect. And it's only very rare. For me anyway.

[@biancabianca6800]

He is the first coach who bring this point up with that thing to leave the intuition. This i saw a lot in cultures where marriage is the number one and most important goal in life of a woman. This is a biiiig Problem also for the future husband. Cause iam happy he brings up that men have feelings and a life too. Hopefully not destroyed by the wrong woman

[@sacha959]

I listen to Stephan all the time. This is by far my favorite interview with him. Just phenomenal. Thank you so much for this!

[@vosgita]

Thank you so much for this conversation. I am 59 years old and I have lots of men offers! 😉 It’s less than when i was younger, but better quality. Men at my age know exactly what they want. It’s a great time in the world to be single at any age 💃🏻

[@podersa241]

The amount of abuse and nonsense you are willing to accept tells you how much love you have for yourself because you would never allow anyone to abuse you more than the love you have for yourself. So ladies take a look at your partner and that is how you feel about yourself. Very simple and logical. Humans complicate. Watch how a child responds before you go around correcting them to please your ideals. If they do not like you they stay away. If you upset them they share it and then it is over.

[@terrilam8505]

@ 39:50....That part. I am so glad that you brought up that topic. I have a few associates/co-workers with that so-called blunt tone. It's always them saying just what you said...lol. "I'm just being honest and the other person can't handle my honesty. However, that works when YOU'RE the one making the delivery, but when the shoe is on the other foot and the other person is making the delivery being blunt and UPSETTING YOUR FEELINGS, you can't handle it. Now your head is about to twist off because the other person hurt your feelings. It's never what you say, it's always how you say things, and most blunt, aggressively opinionated people can't take in what they dish out. Bottom line, treat and speak to people the way you would want some one to speak and treat you. If I treat you with respect, than you WILL treat me the same way or we will definitely ALWAYS have a problem. Those are the type of folks I keep my distance from because I refused to tongue lash in foolery. I can respect anyone's personality as long as they know they have to respect mine. Doesn't make them a bad person..it just means our personalities won't mesh.

[@steffnic13]

Been eyeballing this channel for a while, but this was the first interview I have listened to. Really timely and so great. It’s refreshing to have the voice of a true divine masculine. Really eye opening. Thank you both!

[@nicoletorres6940]

I have always said I don’t believe in someone being in love with someone who isn’t in love with them and I knew why I felt it but couldn’t express it to make sense to others so it was nice to hear Because I have always believed and felt this way.

[@lolaispure4296]

Right

[@leafyveins4985]

Same here

[@luvingmerevivedandblessed8520]

I know love is supposed to flow both ways..but how can anyway say u can't be in love with a person that doesn't love..ofcourse u shouldn't be but how can u say I'm not in love cause the other person doesn't love. That doesn't make sense.

[@astridmallari9288]

i can relate to this 100% i held on to my relationship and threw everything out of the window my intuition and all that stuff at the end it only caused more problems. The emotional disconnection caused many issues, it took me 7 yrs and i finally said enough is enough.

[@RunninChic620]

Stephan. You are forgetting about narcissists. They love bomb and manipulate. We pour into them and reciprocate. This unfortunately is not rare. (1:05)

[@velvetgardenia]

2 of my favorite life coaches! Bravo!

[@natashablessed410]

Can you invite Tony Gaskins as a special guest ??

[@taniabras2357]

When a woman knows her WORTH and sets her BOUNDARIES and then CHOOSES a man worthy of her love, everything else will fall into place.

[@caketoyourears6533]

Thank you very much! Validated my belief that open communication is okay, can be done with tact, and received if there is emotional maturity on both ends. Your conversation also helped me embrace the fact that I prefer sexual intimacy after evaluating the connection. I’m glad I’ve gotten to a place in my life where the only pressure that’s being placed on me, is by me for my highest good. Not thinking I need to take the other persons pressure to validate my worth.