How Narcissistic Abuse Affects Your Libido: Overcoming sexual suppression

[@FancyTruth1]

This is true! My libido was suppressed from narcissistic abuse. I thought it was gone forever…until I got into my current relationship. My labido is stronger than ever. Keep going people, you’ve got this. Godspeed.

[@luxbeauty4952]

They absord your life force energy

[@cursebreaker1188]

😂😂😂

[@dorlistorres8034]

Oh Kevin this hits home so much. I was really thinking something was wrong with me and that I was the only one who felt like this. What you're saying makes so much sense. Thank you again for such an important messge.

[@vivianebuelens9512]

@@dorlistorres8034 oooh …. !

[@Elle-4444]

He never said no, in fact he wanted/demanded it on the daily. My issue is that it was mechanical, no intimacy. Sex was used against me. If I didn’t, “there was a problem…”. Every time I had my cycle, we would fight. No matter my physical pain or emotional downs…… i had to perform. If I didn’t things went south fast. My libido is on pause, yes valuable and protected. Dormant,

[@annai3394]

This is crazy. I used to be scared to fall alseep because he could come back in bad mood wanting sex and next day blaming me that I was happy sleeping and he was struggling whole night.

[@Sub_901]

Same. Like he was finished with me and put me back in the laundry room like a vacuum cleaner. I begged for breadcrubs of affection and I've been told by others I'm not affectionate enough! So, it's pretty bad if I'm asking for a simple spontaneous hug preferably without my butt being squeezed or smacked every now and then. Just a hug. For hug's sake!

[@inaworldfullofplasticbeasigma]

True 😢😔😞😭you are so true !!!! I feel raped after sex with my malignant narcissistic husband having days of pain even vaginal injury.

[@inaworldfullofplasticbeasigma]

@@Sub_901i understand what you say I’m in the same room with you. Besides his needs I’m invisible.

[@ZOELIFE23-365]

YEA!!! FOR MOST WOMEN, IF YOUR MIND ISNT STUMULATED NOTHING ELSE WILL BE. MY EXPERIENCE. I ENJOY DEEP CONVERSATION. NEVER BEEN INTO SMALL TALK

[@Carr2409]

Wow! I wondered what was going on with me and now I understand. Thank you for this enlightenment.❤

[@julia912d5]

This is so important to hear. Good job Kevin! I took this kind of rejection and shaming so hard the first, then second time, I completely shut down and lived like a nun and in isolation for decades. Narcissists are murderers of everything beautiful about you. It's the Light in us, that pisses off the demons in them.

[@sistasoul6077]

Feels good to know I'm not the only one... dealing with a narcissist has been exhausting..I was so lonely in our relationship.. I walked away after 3 years.🙋🏿‍♀️

[@Xyzxyz-pl1jv]

When I was with the narc at the end of our relation I felt I am the ugliest women in the world.To the point that the cortyzol in my blood made almost all of my eyebrows to fall out. I'm free of this toxic monster and miracle happened.All of my eyebrows grow back!!!! My face and skin is pretty again as well as my entire body!!! I love myself again!!! Never give up on yourselves! NEVER!You are worth fighting for by yourself!!! ❤❤❤

[@inaworldfullofplasticbeasigma]

I’m in the same situation as you I never heard from him that I’m beautiful in 16 years

[@earthdakini]

My late ex partner overwhelmed me with their sexual appetite, I wasn’t used to having that much sexual activity & I became addicted. Then they suddenly stopped & became neglectful , when I wanted / needed intimacy I was shamed , ridiculed & it was used to attempt to manipulate my behaviour .

[@FancyTruth1]

Godspeed, dear ❤

[@alice-hp7dh]

Never had so much need for sex in my entire life as It was with him. But I also needed intimacy and wanted to make love. When i tried to wok up him in the middle of the night or in early morning, he didn't wanted and told me I was a ninpho. But It Is not me who slept with all kinds of women in a month and addicted to porn. I was just madly in love with him.😢

[@dinab7852]

That's exactly what happened to me.

[@Xyzxyz-pl1jv]

Typical.I went through it,too.But who is laughing now,after I healed? Not him Lol

[@marypatterson8053]

This is such encouraging news! You just reframed everything in my mind. That I was protecting my gifts turns around the thought that all is lost. Bless you Kevin

[@msprettykawaii950]

Trust me, thats the best ground for divorce. You cannot be with someone meant to grow old with you if youre with the wrong person.

[@Sub_901]

So, if I performed my wifely obligations to him for 20 years because it was the right thing to do and I wanted to please him. I also was deeply ingrained that the more physical love I show the more intimate affection he would show. It never worked. I finally broke down. Like an old machine without care. My body repelled him, I could no longer physically engage. I jumped through all the hoops trying different things to help me libido. I felt so much shame.

[@msprettykawaii950]

@@Sub_901 same here love fo a spouse should be reciprocated not unconditional.

[@phillipschlegel6663]

Suppressing can be wanting to be alone and not go through it again great message great word thank you sir 🎸🎶🏝️

[@jennyb2449]

Thank you. Just what i needed to hear

[@nobleenchantpbkc8082]

You hit the nail on this one.I loved the vid.Thank You

[@jenniferpoitier]

Kevin, you’re awesome. I haven’t even heard the video yet but I want to thank you for addressing this topic❤

[@vivianebuelens9512]

THAD IS A GREAT VIDEO KEVIN ‼️ 0:27

[@williampicton7072]

Thank you Kevin!! This makes so much sense. Yahoo!!! 😊

[@sarahstevenson-olds5012]

Perfect timing 🙏

[@happycamper6214]

This is very true

[@joshuamutombo4927]

Get out now don't think about it just run before the narcissist affect, neglect, abuse next opportunities and sabotage your life dear One. Life is very short you weren't made to be tormented or tortured by abusers, leave!

[@Juliane-ql5zm]

Very well explained and well supported. I'm now separated from my husband. But before the separation, we had no sex (or I should say, I couldn't take him using my body anymore and totally shut down), for a year. It was strange that he would not respond to my initiation for sex during our 28 years of marriage. In the beginning, I had to beg for sex before he gave in. After a few years into the marriage, he declined altogether. We only had sex on his initiation (not mine). On top of that, it had to be the same position that he wanted. He couldn't become erect unless it was in a certain position (so weird). I became resentful and began to recoil at his touch. I became disgusted when he paid attention to me (because I didn't exist otherwise), stare and smile. That's when I knew, oh oh, he's in the mood. I used to pretend like I was interested and get involve but then I stopped pretending and just laid there. At first, he acted like it bothered him that I was showing no interest. However, after a while, it didn't matter to him. He used my body and got off. I seriously prayed to God, "please make him stop using my body and coming to me for sex." It was too painful; my heart was hurting, and I was humiliated. My prayer was answered, and he finally stopped pushing for sex. He still sometimes tried with the creepy smiles and eye contact, but I would quickly look away. I even prayed that he would find someone else so that I could be free. But that never happened. I finally left after another volatile argument. Enough was enough. Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about the creepy smiles for sex anymore.

[@nopereradicator]

I knew my labido wasn’t the issue. I just didn’t want to engage in those types of activities with someone I considered my son. 🤮

[@beverlykingrey1698]

My husband use to tell me this. Now I don’t want him to touch me. If fact it has been almost 20 years since he has tried to be intimate with me.

[@Defender78]

Why Are you still in the relationship? Have you, or he, sought out affairs? I did a girl once too after 3 months I realized it was a flat nowhere relationship, and this is when I was 29, we are only intermittent a couple of times and after one year I realized we had no chemistry, But I didn't want to rock the boat, so I stayed in the relationship, so I had affairs like crazy, even massage parlor visits, but after 2 years I broke it off with her... we never made love once and it was the best thing I ever did

[@trumpetandtalk]

I thought I was all alone with this. My Ex- spouse started shutting down on me in the mid 1990's. I supressed and supressed. And now, the very few times I have tried to be with a woman during the past 25 years, I feel nothing, they get impatient, and then I feel so ashamed I do not try again for a long time. This has been my life, no touch, no hugs, no holding hands for almost 3 decades now.

[@carlaplotner]

YES! SPITEFUL!!

[@allysonwhite5004]

My husband told me when I wanted to be intimate in a loving fashion ..he said he didn't won't too

[@janetsouthwick4826]

This is all true. But while I was married to him...Devoid of all affection and the insults about my appearance etc...I could NOT believe it was marriage without sex and I was so ashamed. I had never heard of another person in my situation and if course I did not know...I was very naive and inexperienced

[@kateesaia]

Same. 💔 Very heartbreaking.

[@Ch0mp27]

The worst part is that they will deprive you sexually but cheat on you with other people

[@kateesaia]

It's just really confusing why they withhold sex from you but then cheat on you. 🤯

[@zachp5022]

That’s why they do it so they can cheat on you gaining them Supply from outside sources…while at the same time killing your spirit and self esteem on top of getting you to work harder to please them in attempts to repair and fix the relationship (although not possible) the whole thing is EVIL, they’re demons sent from hell honestly

[@gypsyphoenix92]

In my case, it was a punishment system...

[@bettycarmella1127]

Control

[@Camy211]

“ you gonna dive in like a buffet” 😂

[@Sub_901]

Thank you!! Finally talking about the taboo. Neglect. Sex. Neglect. Sex

[@christinamadvig1468]

I've been in this. Relationship for so long.. I've been shown my desires mean absolutely nothing so I no Longer after 40 years long for it😔

[@kimberlyhoatlin9795]

I’m so sorry that you have had to go through that and for having to stuff or close off the special sacred part of yourself. ❤️🙏❤️🙏

[@christinamadvig1468]

@@kimberlyhoatlin9795 it makes me sad at times if I think about it. So I try and not. All that's ever and still matters is his needs. My journey this time around😔

[@kimberlyhoatlin9795]

@@christinamadvig1468 I have dealt with three narcissists in my lifetime… my mother, my ex husband, and the man I’m currently dealing with…. My journey was to learn to love myself and to be aware that my feelings, desires, wants, etc are just as important if not more so. Perhaps that’s what your journey is as well. I’m walking away from this man and I’m not looking back… I’m so grateful that we never had sex.. something in my gut said it wasn’t right.. learning to trust my instincts was another lesson… so in many ways I’m thankful for the education I’ve received from him. I’m sending you love and hugs. And I’ll keep you in my prayers. I’m feeling your soul right now… 😢😢

[@SusanZovath]

I remember Dr Phil saying that if you have it in your life, it's 10% important; if you don't, it's 90% important. I don't think anybody signs up to be in a sexless marriage.

[@hanomazom9670]

Thank you! ❤❤❤❤

[@tanyabell7748]

Ironic....this is how the narcissist is created in childhood, parental neglect.

[@sistasoul6077]

Yes😢

[@chellotrevino7323]

Fun fact narcissist actually have no self esteem or libido it’s all an act that’s why they just hit it and quit it narcissist are like a house with the lights but NOBODY IS HOME their dead inside even the somatic narcissist is dead Sam vankin here a self aware narcs explain it more

[@luxbeauty4952]

@@tanyabell7748 no it’s through deviancy and then accepting a demon.!

[@jemilsense3972]

Amen

[@joannamckinney2695]

Thank you!!!!

[@crazycats535]

That's really f'd up that someone does this...horrible.

[@cobyteune]

Important to realize that an autistic person can be doing the same, they have problems to be intimid. I am reacting, because it would not be good to think, that someone is narcissistic, while they are autistic.

[@zachp5022]

Some are saying that they actually intertwine…which I believe. I believe that some people are just narcissists and using the term autism as a guise to excuse their crap ways

[@krystal3822]

He always wanted sex for the most part. He never was very understanding that I had medical issues and the fact that I couldn't always have sex bc of the pain but after awhile I didn't want it bc how he treated me and he didn't understand that.

[@SheynaVVV]

heeelp meeee Kevvin lOLOLOLOL you are freaking me out

[@danmurphy988]

My ex narc was very beautiful but very abusive, she caused me to have ed and was stressed and no sleep.

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Before this IPhone 📲 shit and tis virtual mess life was real Kevin ! 4:07

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

No problem ……. See health care products….. ❤️‼️ 0:48

[@vivianebuelens9512]

ARE YOU SAYING MY STANDARDS ARE SO HIGH I WILL NEVER SOMEONE TO MEET THEM ‼️😉🤩 10:57

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Kevin you know It’s my son ! 2:35

[@nicholecornes1915]

Mines still gone

[@vivianebuelens9512]

You know they cut my live comments off Kevin ! Am I becoming too personal? Kevin ! Viv 12:30 Thad is what I am telling you “ my expectations will be so high Thad no one could ever be able to meet them ! Kevin ‼️ 14:20

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Honer there needs to be met ? I did but Thad ! But no man ever cared about mine ! 😉❤️‼️ 15:48

[@vivianebuelens9512]

What you think I am wrong ? I like to discuss it more deeply I am sure Thad would be in lightning! 😊❤️‼️ 15:48

[@vivianebuelens9512]

I don’t like unfinished business as a whole , especially not when it is ABOUTH feelings ! ❤️‼️ 15:48

[@vanessacotter8684]

My ex husband was a fan of Ben Shapiro and shamed me for my natural lubrication I thought after 17 years I just no longer wanted it 2 years later and I'm insatiable with an amazing partner who is worthy of me

[@cassiebennet4262]

What does Ben Shapiro have to do with it?

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Patience? Kevin you must be joking ? 😊😊😊‼️ 15:22

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Again …. ? 1:58

[@vivianebuelens9512]

What is this unfinished business anyway all ABOUTH. All the man I ever new where narcissist by the way ! Oh yeah slow dancing! I love Thad , I know it is not my fault in my case ! 6:59 Thad is evil ! 8:40 Look are you telling me now no one deserves it or I just have to wait a few years more ! because the problem is , Thad I put me expectations always higher and at the end no one will be able to meet them! Thad is not right ! But I can say you one thing for, I always did more than my best to please in every possible way ! But no reply ! 🤩❤️😴 10:13

[@vivianebuelens9512]

Who ? 14:12

[@therealwewin]

What bothers me about all these victims is how could they decide to have kids with these monsters? Like you seriously didn't see anything wrong? Narcissists are so fake and charming. It's a dead giveaway. You just need to stare at them long enough and they will show you the truth.

[@cindylong624]

If you were raised in a narcissistic home, you generally get involved /marry with narcissistic/controlling individual. It seems 'normal ' or familiar yet you want better,hope for better and yet the cycle continues with another generation

[@MrFredsAdventures]

@@cindylong624 Exactly

[@perhagman6112]

Educate yourself

[@rinishan]

Yeah, growing up in abuse imprints a person to keep seeking validation from difficult people. They try to get it right this time. Not everyone meets the right friends or gets therapy, and so they end up having a family in a similarly abusive environment :(

[@cassiebennet4262]

I think you just exposed yourself for what you are. A victim blaming narcissist.

[@divinelightlounge]

🍒🥧Amen🍑🍌

[@Missybella92227]

Bruh… my libido died🪦 He was the WORST sexual partner I ever experienced. For all those three years I was deprived.

[@briandbenson]

What if your parents, not romantic relationship, were the narcs?

[@ZOELIFE23-365]

ITS BEEN 13 YEARS... I NOW KNOW I AM WORTH MORE, DIFFERENT TRUE LOVE. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN NOTHING WITH THIS DEMON... ⛔DID ME A FAVOR THO, I AM NOW CELIBATE AND HAPPY, NEXT TIME HAS TO BE MARRIAGE IN GOD