The Narcissistic Male Sexual Fantasy (that robs women of sex)

[@penapravoce494]

My husband denied me sex for years, while he would masturbate alone. Once I asked him why and he said "because I was mad at you." When I would ask him when we were ever going to make love again, he would say "we'll see." I had to prove my worth to him every day. I was a virgin when we married so I didn't know any better. He would tell me that no man could ever get an erection with me and that I was frigid. So in my 40s, I was so mentally confused that I needed to see if the problem really was me, and took a leap of faith with someone else. It showed me that I had never had good or healthy sex with my husband, and the true connection I had been missing. I've been with this other man for almost 10 years now. He is my soulmate and best friend. Sex is not a reward to be withheld. It's an integral part of real intimacy.

[@Portia620]

I’m so thrilled to hear of this and you deserve a healthy human being in your life! ❤❤🙏🙏

[@denisedevoto5703]

So happy for you! Your story sounds like it could have been written by me. I have been with my wonderful, caring, supportive man for 6 years. Just had our anniversary two days ago.

[@lovelysosweet8386]

I’m so happy you found love finally ❤

[@debbiekillewald8384]

I was told that too when I was married. Then I met someone who I had the best sex life with once I left him. I couldn't believe it because it was the first time I ever experienced that. He had me thinking I was broken and deserved it.

[@nadyatytian279]

I understand what you say & empathise with you. My ex husband used to be exactly the same..

[@karmicdreamer]

I can’t count the amount of times I’ve heard from other ladies that we can lay in bed next to these monsters crying ourselves to sleep (if it’s even possible to sleep) feeling rejected and unbearably alone while they snore away without a care in the world ! I could never make someone feel like that no matter how angry or tired I was. The loneliest feeling I’ve ever experienced was laying next to someone who made me feel more alone than actually being alone….Never Again. 😒

[@sadiamufti8890]

😢😢😢😢

[@lizagomez7368]

I never understood it either. It was beyond cruel.

[@kathiejl1]

I too cried while he lay over on the other side turned away from me and slept. No goodnight words or kiss or snuggle or cuddle.

[@trumpeterswan4177]

I'm find aloneness to be quite preferable to being with someone who was so awful and hurtful and neglectful, God is my best friend and He has been faithful to care for me when no one else would.

[@johannapollaert9122]

How about sitting in the same room, yet feeling alone? Going to bed at 20.30 only as not to feel neglected and ignored by him being in that very same living room? To have only 5 questions or sentences said to you in the entire day and then it was a top day, because it could be less easily too? The repertoire ALWAYS was: - How was your day? (Obliged to say good... and that was it. For issues he referred me to my family and friends) - Need anything from the kitchen? - Need anything from the shop - Good night And 1 other sentence

[@thedavineempress]

Im so glad that narcissistic men are finally being put on blast and being revealed, their time is over, karma is here 🙌🏼💫

[@louisaharley6635]

It took long enough fir woman of what tgey used to term as a domestic, back in the day men were actually nit wife beaters as it wasn't against the law, police never intervened, and other men would praise eachother fir keeping the thumb down It took a long time before that law was changed woman had a fight on there hands and men never felt they were wrong as it was passed down as tge norm.

[@viktoriapolishchuk8014]

Yeah,but they will never accept that. And this is also part of the diagnosis 😢

[@JK-ov8gl]

Omg this is mind blowing! After 23 years of marriage, we divorced. I lived this! A narcissistic gaslighter! He starved me of affection and sex. Through the divorce I found out he cheated multiple times! I have going through my healing journey for the last 5 years and in such an amazing place! I pray women who are in these relationships have the strength and courage to choose themselves! ❤

[@texasgma3578]

So happy for you! Me too. Been blessed to be with a real man for thirty years. I spent 15 married to my ex. Best to look forward and congratulate yourself for seeing through him at last.

[@kathyhansen2820]

Very sad and I can see how that would damage your self confidence. That's simply not normal. I was married for 38 years (until he passed) And even after 38 years I couldn't walk up stairs in front of him without my --- being grabbed. We were still holding hands until he died. Get yourself a good man that doesn't play games with your head.

[@AprilFirst777]

Sorry,I lost 18 yrs,Off my life, Making Love All,Was awesome in beginning ... He died,8 months ago, Suddenly,I never got,Closure,Will Never know if he ever loved me,He got 2 leg Amputations,Took care of him,11 years,Treat like S##t !...

[@susiesmith1290]

My ex husband would stick it inside me when I was sleeping after tucking in our three children.... a friend told me THAT'S RAPE! It's true. He'd said he'd saved himself for me after "working late"

[@TCpointsof]

I understand I was married to a narcissist who wouldn’t have sex with me. He told everyone that I had lead myself go and that was the reason.

[@ShoJ369]

Narcissistic men don't make love, they perform. In the early days they will perform with you, but they move on, it's all about the chase and the conquest for them. They will keep you to cook and clean for them, but intimacy does not exist with them.

[@maryguenther7574]

So true! Only early on..

[@nicholerichardbarker7945]

Oh my gosh… after 6 years I am now coming out of denial after the past 2 years that I’ve seen proof over and over. It’s gut wrenching!!!

[@Dr-MiNa]

@@ShoJ369 yes true. I told him that "Don't tucked me, make love to me".He is kind of confused also. He loves to go down on me and bring me on and orgasem.he is quick I am delayed. He fucks in a way that can be filmed the exact spot.porn. he don't do classic face to face. Back and legs up mostly.

[@rosecurate5414]

This is the absolute truth.

[@cherylbagshaw5151]

This is so true! I can't even.

[@sarahp.5581]

I am a psychologist and this is one of the most helpful videos I have ever seen. I will be sending this to several clients.

[@Ihopeitsshittyattheblackdog]

...kind of sad, isn't it?

[@patriciakubitz1379]

Sex acts without intimacy and affection are shallow, cold and shameful. It’s like having sexual intimacy with a programmed robot. At least the tin man had a ✨❤️✨

[@2011hib]

Yeah. Sex without intimacy. He gets discouraged when I turn down sex but doesn’t push it. We don’t have any kissing or foreplay.

[@ScoutMcGovern-vd1rx]

A simulation of genuine intimacy. No more

[@debra8883]

How about the "Ice-Man"???

[@tammywallace5611]

Exactly like a robot!!

[@andrewsmith3257]

​@@ScoutMcGovern-vd1rxthat's even worse than cold and emotionless..fake emotion without any passion. I feel sorry for people stuck with an NPD partner..

[@agirl3902]

I was one who asked for affection until one day I noticed a very slight smirk on his face. I realized that he was intentionally withholding from me for his personal enjoyment. That was the LAST time

[@raeven1200]

I saw it too. You're not alone.

[@zuiiee]

He gaslit me into thinking I was the one who was withholding- and using it to justify his prostitutes and other disgusting behaviors- but when I went through all the journals- I saw where I constantly wrote that he was denying me. No more gaslighting.

[@conniesagredo5316]

Wow interesting thank you

[@Vixinaful]

Thats sadism..Sadism is included within cluster B disorders. So they enjoy others torture.

[@SusanSummer]

I actually imagined it from his demeanor

[@marthamullinax8247]

I have destroyed myself because of trying to do the right thing. I use to be happy and in good physical shape. I married a narcissist and didn't know what it was at the time. No i have gained weight, some days i dont get out of bed. Some days i dont comb my hair or put on makeup. I have drove in my head that im just unlovable and unworthy of love. This video has really made me think about things. I want my life back. I want joy. I want to smile. I use to think if i put my head down and get through this that one day ill die and ill be free. It never dawned on me that its not me.

[@shenequakimbro5146]

No it's not you at all. These men are monsters. I declare you will be healthy again

[@vivonasnuvens]

PLS don't give up. start little by little , get out of bed, do something you will feel better. do some sort of physical sport, walk somewhere, see people, get fresh air. take care of yourself and your health first. don't give them the pleasure to see you down. that's happens to all of us but remember you are strong and changes will depend on you. see some good videos about this NPD's devil's and try to understand them first them you can get energy to stand up and rebuild yourself. it's difficult and possible. look for help, there is groups available to help you cope. everybody deserve to be loved.

[@Tlittau3944]

I’d say THIS IS YOUR SIGN & REASON TO GET OUT OF BED… brush your hair… start moving… make your bed and put on some upbeat music & find yourself again :) STAY SILENT WITH THIS REVELATION!! Use this as your super power!!! IT’LL BE THE GREATEST REVENGE 💯 ❤

[@j.w8680]

I'm a woman & I think you're beautiful. He's a fool for denying you what is natural & beautiful. Sorry you were treated that way. It is cruel & emotionally abusive to deny someone affection & intimacy in that way & to put the cherry on the cake, tell you it's YOUR fault. The fault lies in him. What a waste of your precious time & energy & beautiful spirit! They drain people, they walk away after using, neglecting & abusing you 'til you are a dry husk of what you used to be. They only return when it suits THEM. Sexual intimacy should be reciprocal & part of every loving relationship. Denying you, strips you of a vital part of what it means to be human & in touch with your body. You're too good for him. You always were. I hope you find a person who treats you like the incredibly precious human being you are, but most of all wish you can learn to be with yourself & love & value your own company. You don't need anyone else to complete you. You are incredible all on your own. Don't tell him. Just hold, & know, these things in your heart to be true, because they are. Love yourself - that's the best gift you can give yourself. Being with someone who is abusive, but, in a private way is a double twist of cruelty. He will deaden your soul. Your depressions will be partly driven by his neglectfulness and his verbal/emotional attacks on you. You deserve so much better. Good luck & take care.

[@miriamjoy9217]

@marthamullinax8247 Jesus loves you so much and had a wonderful life of freedom, joy and peace for you. He does not look lightly upon His daughter being abused. Remove yourself from the narc. God has better for you. He will restore your life. Lean on Him. He is our faithful one. ❣️

[@paul2019monte]

They are often extremely cheap and proud of it. They are cheap in every sense of the word including kindness and love

[@texasgma3578]

This was 100% my experience as well. He would remove items I wanted from the shopping cart while buying $$$ shoes for himself.

[@kirstytekauru2385]

Absolutely you're so right cheap&nasty haha 😂happy I left that person

[@kirstytekauru2385]

Yeah the narcissist knew I loved flowers 💐 so I never got any lol. After a few months I left him. I'm free and happy with God's healing now. And waiting for a true man of god

[@paul2019monte]

@@kirstytekauru2385 I buy my own flowers. It turns out a lot cheaper 😊💯

[@CleverChimney]

Exactly. Proud of the fact and bragged about when buying me the cheapest ass stuff you can imagine. One year I got a pair of socks for Xmas. 😂

[@PhyllisHerron-r9s]

It is not a reward. It is neglect and abuse

[@peachesandpoets]

Yep. I agree with him except for one part. I know he is a right wing nutcase but blaming vaccines for males being narcissists is wild. 02:15.

[@Blueflameintegration]

@@peachesandpoets to be fair, we don’t know all the side effects that these vaccines cause. If you think the chemicals in these vaccines can’t mess up a person’s brain functioning then I don’t know what to tell you.

[@Tasha.b89]

​@@peachesandpoetsno he's saying they may be feminising men, hence the feminine behaviour.

[@kyramoan6739]

Nothing hurts more than to be in a relationship/situationship with someone & feel lonlier than you've EVER felt in your whole life!

[@glowieokenney7915]

I know right!

[@cindymcdonnell2119]

Same !

[@lajuanalongoria5048]

I'd rather be alone than in a relationship and lonely.

[@PerfectContradiction]

May as well be alone atp and I am at peace, my children as well❤️living our best life over here

[@janicebrowning9644]

Right there with you

[@jenniferbradley3829]

My husband wanted me to beg for a simple kiss. Often, he would turn his head and only allow me to kiss his cheek. He got great pleasure withholding intimacy in our marriage. We wanted me to service him every day but would not touch me because I hadn't earned it in his opinion. I now know my worth and left him.

[@briskettacos]

Good for you.

[@sp3g56]

That’s horrible, so glad you were able to get out.

[@WhiteGhost21]

@@lorrainesmith.4995 took you 10 years to realize? says more about you than him

[@stacysmith7387]

Wow. I’m so glad to read this. I thought he was just scared of affection. But that’s just being a dick.

[@kriscrystaline9793]

Male perspective here. Are some women into that tho?? It seems sometimes not all, but some women are a bit masochistic or sadist. I personally am not attracted to women who are like this because I don’t want to engage with women like that. If that makes me weak in the eyes of some women than so be it. I believe in god and love

[@Stephanie-c3e2w]

I was in a relationship with a narcissist I have better sex by myself now he taught me one thing I've learned from this relationship I don't need him

[@giarad9822]

Interesting you bring up the connection between porn and narcissists… it is a strong one. Pornography is typically a huge part of a narcissist’s life.

[@aprilgooden8904]

My ex is obsessed with it

[@dianpouringbliss9525]

It made him impotent...

[@varietypack4979]

@@dianpouringbliss9525 Same with my husband. Addicted to all things pornographic, the more deviant the better. Our sex life dropped off a cliff before either of us was 30. Now it is based on whether his ED prescription is filled and he isn't even 40.

[@joanofarcxxi]

They are autoerotic. They love to please themselves the most. My ex, a narcissist who later admitted to me to have been intimate with countless women, told me one day "I have had a lot of sex, but the best sex I have had is with myself".

[@jamiebrumant8512]

​@@dianpouringbliss9525oh gosh😂😂😂😂

[@lulumoon6942]

DON'T FORGET THEIR ENDLESS CHEATING, THEIR NEEDS ARE MET ELSEWHERE! 👀

[@guidaferreira371]

Yes and std's... I got std's twice in 28 years.. I didn't know any better, I just knew something was wrong.. Just alst year I started to goggle about narcissism.. And yes I was familiar with all of what I read... 😢

[@lulumoon6942]

@@guidaferreira371 No doubt blaming YOU, as well! You deserve better, healing vibes to you. 🙏

[@lesliekatona309]

You're wrong

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

You chose those men. Blame yourself.

[@Lacuna1122]

​@omnipotentwiz5101 nah man, now you're talking crazy. Women don't take accountability

[@teresaz7152]

You have very valid points. It's been awhile since I've viewed narc videos...I've had my lion's share of them. I'm going to throw a curveball.....The porn angle is very valid....I feel at some point they try to turn us into a "mother figure" that's the main goal. They will ALWAYS TRIANGULATE...I also came to another revelation....Who's to say they're not actually fixated on the man in porn...most victims of narc abuse wonder if their partner is gay or bi-sexual on a gut level.....re-read this.❤

[@ThrivenLife]

yes, I believe they are secretly gay or at least bisexual. They don't want a hamburger, they really want a hot dog. That's also why many husbands are angry and resentful towards their wife. She's not truly who or what he wants. Cowards really, unable or unwilling to own their true identity. Sorry for the "bearded" wives!!! ☹

[@MikeVinKC]

My girlfriend's ex called her Mommy as a nickname, spoke to her in a childish voice, would watch sissy porn before he could get in the mood, cross dressed, and other various other kinks.

[@mariaisabelcruz4943]

I always thought he was gay..... life like hell.

[@AAOFIT]

Yes, my soon to be ex husband I believe is bi because the was reaching out to transsexuals.

[@joyskye790]

Wow! Never thought of it in that way What a revelation!

[@sweetdreams3119]

Everything is transactional. Everything. When I look back, after hearing this, it all makes sense. We older ladies were groomed from youth to believe it's slutty to ask for intimacy and so play right into this evil game. Dang, I lost actual decades of prime adult loving potential to this nonsense. At least I understand it now. Thank you for covering this devastating topic. Healing begins with understanding and this journey has been hard, but I'm grateful for every tidbit of wisdom that lights the path ahead. Thank you, again.

[@jenniferbradley3829]

I love how you stated that it was transactional... but it is much worse... you are required to hold up your end of the relationship, and they only respond "if they feel like it" or if they can punish you or let you know you aren't even good enough for their attention.

[@alexvrettos5565]

Transactions so true punishment and hate taking place to make you feel unworthy and unattractive even if they are not an oil painting themselves. It dosent get better either because they are looking elsewhere porn number one

[@kathpercy7941]

This ! Is totally spot on same in a 30 year narcissistic abusive marriage sexless for decades having to uphold my vows but finding out of a lot of adultery on his part made to feel so insignificant and less than dehumanising me 🤮 still healing from this trauma 🙏

[@galaosch9959]

I hear you. And what do we do now, darn it, at this age? 😢

[@user-zy8gk2nn7d]

@@galaosch9959 at least we know - that is a lot.

[@splainyourself9811]

Wow, I'm looking through the comments. I am so sorry for all the pain and rejection you have all gone through. God bless each and everyone and heal your broken hearts. ❤

[@bls5160]

Thank you!

[@katerinadiamanti8941]

Thank you! ....😢

[@Prometheuspredator]

Thank you and God bless you as well.

[@laurieeno2118]

Beautiful compassion for strangers. May you be blessed and highly favored. ❤.

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

Remember, they chose all those men.

[@Lola54117]

My ex boyfriend is a hidden pansexual. He still is out there lurking for anyone that pleases him, online, video chat, calls and meet up. I did a whole investigation on him myself and the massive amount of things I found was insane and sickening. Narcissist people are super sneaky, but not for the smart ones who will learn their tactics and they get caught.

[@elettramia6380]

He’s a predator, that’s exactly what narcissist are, predators

[@crystalellis2883]

Sounds exactly like my ex ,,,, I was sooooo disgusted…. Yes he done the same exact thing … and honestly believed he was into men aswell… with his hidden agenda ..

[@ST-ik7ry]

Lucky you didn't have kids with him. Might be a pdf too.

[@SilviaMenendez-nd3oz]

How did you find out. What steps did you take ?

[@sw6910]

Narcs are the lousiest lovers.. No wonder

[@Blessed591]

They are terrible . . .

[@lovelysosweet8386]

Facts

[@evilkitty1994]

They are either the worst or the best. My ex was only good in bed. That's how he kept his supplies coming back.

[@debra8883]

Truly, they are. YOu are so right.

[@nanny287]

Yes, they are horrible lovers. There is no “love” in “ lovers.” II’ll call them “sexers,” without sex. It is all about narcissistic control.

[@emmadezwaan]

Sex should not be a reward, but an EXPRESSION of love!!

[@suzieyosef6267]

Yesssssssssss

[@sonyaholt6323]

Makes sense, porn is really made for men, by men. I survived a narcissist who loved porn, I myself loathe it! Still single five years after escaping narcissist, so happy to be free, barely escaped with my life. I can barely tolerate any company at all now and i purposely deter any man instantly that becomes interested in me. I was an extremely affectionate person once, but now I just want to be left alone

[@lmiller1413]

Yes! I'm scared that are men are influenced by this crap.

[@stacymethvin3426]

Me too

[@nicoleowens2318]

9 years since leaving my abusive, narcissistic husband and i have also stayed single. It was absolutely necessary to heal. I am now at the point where I'm cautiously thinking about dating again. We aren't made to never be touched. I've seen what it's done to a lot of older people who stay alone for decades. They are often depressed, angry, rigid, jumpy, bitter etc.. I realized I've gotten to the point where i "can't" be touched and that's no longer healthy. You have to feel ready though. That takes time. Well I wish you the best and hope you can heal this one day and find someone who treats you with care, the way you should be treated. We all deserve that ❤

[@trainertylee3481]

I understand that

[@annbow4064]

10 years alone, I agree with all you said.

[@lmccroy]

The narc is the male and female in the relationship! They want to be both . Which leaves no room for the woman in the relationship!

[@toriemadeit5545]

Your statement is the most accurate I've read ( in my opinion). I believe that there is a homosexual quality to them that goes hand in hand with the narcissistim- In men and women, only narcissistic women are not as common as men.

[@suzieyosef6267]

So powerful what you've said!

[@tambourine36]

They only want us for certain things that serve them

[@tambourine36]

He wanted me to be home waiting keeping the house clean, cooking and looking after the child

[@tambourine36]

He thought that was normal

[@QuiteContrary14]

Narcissists are predators. There's no challenge in a woman who seeks or enjoys affection. They want us scared and confused and to give it up reluctantly because he said so.

[@debra8883]

Bingo. That is what mine ex- husband did.

[@gorunsko31]

Predators they are! They enjoy hunt and winning 😢

[@QuiteContrary14]

@@debra8883 I'm just happy to hear you say EX husband. High five to you!

[@QuiteContrary14]

@user-mk4or5yu9r Nobody wants that relationship, apparently or otherwise. You missed the section on being duped.

[@QuiteContrary14]

@@housecreeper If you mean sweet talk her out of all of her money and investments, take control of it in order to render her helpless, then yes, that is what they do. Narcissists take. Everything from your bank account to your soul. They don't give anything. They give the illusion that they must take over everything in order to "protect" you, until you are helpless and can't protect yourself.

[@LynnTrammell]

My ex exactly. He always left me alone. I think he liked men better.

[@Prometheuspredator]

A good majority of narcissistic men are on the downlow. Women as well.

[@carlorizzo827]

​@@Prometheuspredatorthat's interesting, never heard that before. Makes sense, same sex attraction is inherently narcissist since the beloved resembles my mirror image. I'm single, bi, can't pairbond at all. What am i🤣

[@littleleafyleaf]

I truly believe that all covert narcissists are closest gay/bisexuals (I’ve commented this above too that I am by no means saying all gay guys are narcissistic, just that all covert narcs aren’t straight men)

[@Merbella]

They appear bi or gay bc they will accept supply from ANYONE. 😮

[@ryanrichards8340]

​@@littleleafyleaf Yup Bingo...exactly. They will marry a woman, have kids w/her to hide and pretend. They will lie about their same-sex attraction until they die💯

[@kimparke6653]

It's unnatural that a man doesn't want to make love to his wife. My ex husband did this to me. Then he turned our children against me when I wanted out. Thanks for speaking about this, I'm an attractive, slim, and very healthy woman.

[@awomanperiod.9507]

Alienating the kids is standard stuff. They are evil.

[@tambourine36]

He's sick. And you could have any guy you wanted. He's jealous of you. Get happy and loved somewhere else girl. Hope you escaped

[@tambourine36]

I agree. Sick individual ​@@awomanperiod.9507

[@beckymichel1845]

My husband doesn’t want to have sex with me because it’s just one more situation he’d have to be vulnerable.. and that is a no no for him. I don’t take it personal. I’m on my way out 👋🏼

[@Prometheuspredator]

Good for you and please never go back.

[@barbarabuttler7647]

You won't regret your decision. I was married for eighteen years to that guy. He's the father of my two, adult, estranged children. I've been married twenty years to a normal guy. We're porn-free and loving it!

[@eb1042]

Congrats!!! BE CAREFUL!!!

[@revelationishereeverhart8864]

He's an insecure weirdo! #1 rule: don't ever tell an abuser that you are leaving him, because that's usually when they become super violent. Many women never lived to tell.

[@Gaby-cq8pr]

​@barbarabuttler7647 why are your children stranged? Did he turnd them against you?

[@gvintage]

This has answered so many questions. Been divorced now since September. We were married 29 years. I could not take this abuse and humiliation any longer.

[@MargoJen]

Same, married 29 years. He has been dragging out the divorce for 3 years. If they can’t control you they toss you aside.

[@rowanstarfall]

dude.....your delivery of these messages is genius. thank you

[@trumpeterswan4177]

They are delusional, grandiose, ungrateful, cruel, mocking, berating, abandoning, and seem inhuman. You are a genius, spot on, how do you know this horror story I lived through? Oh youve heard it before.

[@bumblebee_ms]

I think he may have gone thru something similar with his ex-wife.

[@cindymcdonnell2119]

Same with me ! But I’m out and no contact with him is the best !

[@jenniferbooth2624]

💯

[@Oceansgreen]

No contact is definitely the way to go🎉

[@emmathompson6470]

Actually that makes a lot of sense, all my ex wanted was head. There was no affection of any sort. The times he wanted it it lasted 2 minutes. I gave up on sex (menopause) and then was accused of sleeping around. The relationship became violent and I became aware that he was watching a lot of porn and drinking heavily. It took several police call outs before i had the courage to leave. I have a life time protection order and I'm rebuilding my life

[@susanfernandez5817]

I had a similar experience. All my husband wanted was for me to mastubate him. This happened very often because he couldn't climax during sex because he would lose the feeling because I was taking too long to get aroused. When I got fed up with this routine and started to refuse to jerk him off, then he would finish in about 1minute. I was the one who eventually gave up on sex and put a stop to it. That was probably the menopause too. He seemed quite happy with the sexless marriage, it made me think that's what he wanted all along he just didn't have the guts to stop it himself completely, he just started to show less and less interest and months would go by with nothing. Then when we did have sex again it was horrible he turned into a two pump chump or was impotent or said he couldn't climax and I had to finish him off. I gave up in the end and now I have left him, thank God.

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

You chose him. It’s your fault

[@barbarabuttler7647]

No doubt you always blame the victim. Your response to this post is very judgemental and disgusting.​@@omnipotentwiz5101

[@Merbella]

Narcissist has entered the chat 🤮​@omnipotentwiz5101

[@emmathompson6470]

@@omnipotentwiz5101 I don't need your condemnation. I hope you're never in my position

[@shellOceans3083]

God!!! I wish i had you to listen to 30 years ago when in my first marriage. It destroyed me. I shut down my sexuality for the rest of my life to avoid the same pain, abuse, death, and apathy that he caused me to suffer through and barely endure EVERY DAY AND NIGHT FOR 20 SOME YEARS. There was NOBODY back in 1980-1995 to say the truth as you do now. DARN!:(

[@amyteurlife9408]

Everyone thinks it's the women who withholds

[@gorunsko31]

Thank you for your comment. Exactly. Narcissist is master manipulator. It took me a long time to figure out his game. He hates women. Admitted to treating women as objects. Acts like closet gay. Turns around and shames me for “sexless” marriage. He got stuck in protecting his mommy while also being very angry at her. Tragic figure indeed.

[@sandrabuchanan6512]

No, it goes both ways my first and second husband, opposites in personality same basic, narcissist, withholding of love, affection & sex!

[@BunnyRabit-yo3lx]

And counsellors have no training in this. Not the ones I've seen at least.

[@Moonotter1]

Actually it's both men and women, narrsasistic women exist out there two, it's funny how you guys bicker at eachother without realizing both are the problem 😂

[@JobHuntingAbroad]

You definitely have both, my father and sister both are narcissists but statistics have shown that its more prevalent in men. ​@elanah237

[@amandawilliams7015]

You have NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL LIKE I’M NOT WORTHLESS ANYMORE!:)

[@evilkitty1994]

You are a miracle. You are made precious and are a gift to the world from God himself. He has a plan for you and a purpose for you to make the world a better place. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. Also you're hot as Hell.

[@barbarabuttler7647]

It's like a gift from God, feeling validated, finally!

[@lmiller1413]

I love how he says that the women who are being denied are drop dead gorgeous. One can spot them a mile away. They are trying so hard to look and be desirable.

[@amandawilliams7015]

Yessss!❤

[@amandawilliams7015]

Thank you everyone

[@munchey99508]

This makes perfect sense. I wish I had never met him.

[@LadyEpileptic]

I pray that he won’t come home anymore. I don’t care about the reason. I just want to be free

[@CaliRose1955]

Been married 48 years. Thought something was wrong with me. I read every sex book, tried everything. While he cheated on me. I've had many men come-on to me but I made vows. I flat out told him one day I need you. Your my husband. I need a friend and a lover. He sat there with his arms folded. Not a word. That was the day I closed me down to him. Now years later he's 72 I'm 69 and he says this should be the happiest times of his life. I told him he should've thought of that when he had a wife that gave a crap, im no ones convenience. There's so much more to me than that but now I can barely stand to look at him because of who he really is inside. Hollow and empty has no appeal to me.

[@MargoJen]

That sounds incredibly painful, I’m so sorry.

[@Vixinaful]

Check out "narcissism brain damage" On Google. Their prefrontal cortrex, insula, amygdala, hippocampus AND their right frontal lobe doesnt light up on MRI's. They are severely brain damaged. It wa snever you...Your husband is ill. Really ill.

[@sadiamufti8890]

😢😢😢 May Allah (SWT) bless you . And give you all the best life can offer.

[@CaliRose1955]

@@MargoJen Yes, he's done alot of damage not only to me but to his children but our focus is no longer on him. We each have relationships with Jesus and we're all healing and we have peace in our hearts and joy that he can't steal. Let me tell you if ever you want to really screw up these people be joyful and happy. They cannot deal with that. Thank you for your caring. Blessings to you.

[@CaliRose1955]

@@sadiamufti8890 And God's biggest and most wonderful blessings be poured over you dear. I have found that I'm worth more than words can say to Jesus and my heart belongs to Him. You have a beautiful heart Sadi, you are faithful to God first and He sees your heart and loves your beautiful heart. Thank you for your sweet comment. I'm praying for you also 🌺

[@saturdayschild8535]

I wasted my youth on a man like this. He started the denial of affection and sex immediately in the marriage. He called me a nymphomanic for just wanting sex with my husband. Being raised in the church made me stay much longer than I should have. If I had left when I initially thought to, we would not have had kids. Seeing how much having this narcissistic sociopath for a father has harmed them, it would’ve been better for them not to be born to us. It’s not just estrogen fueled, it’s closeted fueled. Found out during the divorce that I was a beard. Get out of these relationships the moment you notice something off. Don’t bother to try to understand. They enjoy wasting your years.

[@skyeblu817]

He is Gay.

[@littleleafyleaf]

YES!!! I’ve been saying this!! ALL COVERT NARCISSIST ARE CLOSETED GAY OR BISEXUALS!! I am NOT say all gay/bi men are narcs, but I am saying actual covert narcissists are!! I’ve had two of them admit to it and suspect others of it, big time!

[@claudiaherrera2224]

I totally get you! I got married when I was 20 years old to a monster, that not only saw me as a " thing" but also wasted my youth on that horrendous marriage, always feeling sad, not good enough for anything, never mind his distorted and depraved idea of " love". Still hurts at times, but I keep on reminding myself that all that I went through, has nothing to do with me being " not good enough" but everything to do with the maling emptiness of that monster that once upon a time I called " husband".

[@terifigueiredo3411]

Wow I thought I was the only one!

[@dollybigmomma]

I could have written this word for word.

[@WhoanellyNone-bp4sk]

Stay away from anyone that is toxic! Lies to u, cheats on u, is abusive , uses u! If that person isn’t kind then leave! U deserve someone that is grateful to have u in their life and will cherish u! A narc will never get enough! And that is really sad!

[@paradisefamilyvlogs3426]

They don't treat women like this until we're trapped in some way (money, kids, housing). And they pick women who r the best prey - no siblings, no family in state, deceased Dad, etc.

[@eileenlolmaugh6557]

After 18 years of marriage, discovered that being denied intimacy was interfering with his porn use. How humiliated I was to find that he wanted that more than me

[@barbarabuttler7647]

My husband said that it wasn't as much work as having sex. After 18 years, I left. I've been married to a normal guy for twenty blissful years, since. Upside down world is the perfect explanation!

[@Merbella]

All Narc's like porn the most. They get to have sex with thier favorite person...themselves 😮

[@lmiller1413]

Yes. We were replaced by this disgusting crap. Men are so silly, they can't see through the nonsense. They actually think women enjoy the stuff they do in these p*rn shows. I have a hard time not hating these women who are in these films. They betrayed us. I finally told him how delusional his gray haired, man boob, no hair on the chest, smelly self really was.

[@lmiller1413]

Yes. It is humiliating. And pierces the heart, too.

[@stacymethvin3426]

Me too

[@kimberlyhoatlin9795]

It’s a BDSM type mentality….control, punishment and reward… ugh 😩 it’s absolutely disgusting. You should never have to earn a sexual reward after tolerating punishment and abuse.

[@kat-75]

Shouldn't tolerate that anyway. Sex or not, run!!

[@kimberlyhoatlin9795]

@@kat-75 I totally agree. 👍

[@ErikLeed]

@kimberlyhoatlin9795 Maybe its not as black and white as you might think...Aren't women wanting this exact thing that they're reviling? Arent women wanting to be viewed as the sexual prize where culturally its normal that women use it for control, punishment and reward? Perhaps you're probably right, in the context of a male dominant narcissistic relationship its absolutely disgusting. But, if a woman is being narcissistic, and using it as control, punishment and reward, isn't that absolutely disgusting too?

[@denisedevoto5703]

Not like sex with them is a reward anyway. Worst sex ever!

[@shirleychandler2780]

In a BDSM arrangement it is the sub who holds the power. You should read up on it .

[@lordbealampontomyfeet9245]

Been married for 17 years and this sounds a lot like my husband. I’m mortified.

[@jShadowtigress]

Same 17 years of feeling never good enough and neglected yet all attention on other hoes

[@yvettebravo347]

Run!

[@childofchrist7625]

My Narc Husband whom calls himself a "True Christian" & "Nearly Perfect" asked me if I would fulfill a fantasy of his ... he requested I sleep with his friend while he watched & then he join in after his friend finished!!! 🤢🤮 Ofcourse I refused... Days later, I brought it up on how it made me feel that he would desire that of me... he flipped the script & said "That was YOUR fantasy... YOU requested that" 👀 proceeded to say HE was shocked by it!!🤦‍♀️ And yes... he's a porn addict😞

[@FancyTruth1]

They are soulless

[@GailTscherrig]

im so sorry

[@bonnielewin8520]

Sounds like he felt shame but didn't want to feel shame so he tried to shame you instead.

[@childofchrist7625]

@@bonnielewin8520 Yes, like any typically Covert Narcissist .. even when I haven't been in his presence, I haven't seen or spoken to him... somehow I did it, said it, took it, moved it, thought it etc etc🤦‍♀️Like If HE gets stopped for speeding, gains weight or is late for an appointment .. it's ALWAYS MY FAULT 🤯 If we have different opinions on a matter which is OFTEN .. If my opinion ends up being right? He takes the credit & was the one with THAT opinion 🤷‍♀️ He's the text book of a Covert, Vulnerable Narcissist!

[@childofchrist7625]

@@bonnielewin8520 Yes, he is your typical Narcissist. Even when I haven't been in his presence, spoken to him or seen him. Somehow, I did it, said it, thought it, moved it, took it etc etc 🤦‍♀️ If he gets stopped for speeding, gains weight, is late for an appointment its ALWAYS MY FAULT!🤷‍♀️ If we have a different opinion on a matter which is OFTEN.. & my opinion turns out correct? HE takes the credit & was the one with THAT opinion🙄 I could on & on.... He is the definition of a Vulnerable, Covert Narcissist!☠🤢🤮

[@wendyhutchinson5820]

This was my ex husband. He was a narcissist. But I gotta take accountability for my part. I definitely put him up on a pedestal. I did it with a man I fell in love with a few years ago too. Point is, I FINALLY, learned my lesson. You cannot put someone on a pedestal above yourself and have a good outcome. Never again.

[@bsktcaz1218]

Thank you for this video. I was starting to worry that this was my fault. I love this man, but i won't stay.

[@sarahhale-pearson533]

Being denied affection and emotional intimacy, emotionally abused and neglected, but expected to submit willingly to being subjected to gross and demeaning sex acts, on schedule, is soul destroying and deeply wounding. I honestly think it has ruined sex for me….

[@duckdodgers2647]

Same! I've been sleeping in the living room with the dogs on the couch because of it. I sleep so much better but I do miss my bed. I just can't sleep in the same room with him anymore. I'm always afraid of getting molested right after falling asleep. Being forced to have s3x when I'm so tired & had just fallen asleep. Then he gets mad at me for not enjoying it!

[@lmiller1413]

Me too. It's humiliating.

[@jacquelynsharp9354]

Im54 and I feel ya sister I'm hot but I'm about done trying find a husband, ex here abuses me it's horrible if I wasn't in wheelchair now I'd be gone homeless instead of here with barely walls,

[@vulturewaterbug]

I don't think I'll ever heal either. Hopefully this is an early stage of recovering. Good luck.

[@idid138]

​@@duckdodgers2647 it's especially not fun, when you've been molested as a child.

[@Kklewis2223]

They aren’t good lovers to begin with.

[@shannonbrowe3870]

LMAO 🤣 🤣 😂 I KNOW AND THAT'S THE CRAZY PART!!!!

[@carlamitchell466]

They aren't They want love and affection but they're not willing to give it

[@AnemicRoyaltyRX]

Oh my God tell me about it! They will literally make you not want to have sex with them They're so unpleasant even in bed. 😂

[@tammymonti2283]

This! 😂😂😂 and I told him so! The look on his face!

[@minastern7501]

Narcissists have no emotions no feelings at all period!

[@kimmie6138]

I was happy when he didn't want sex from me. He got to where he disgusted me. I've been away from him for several yrs now, and can't imagine being romantic with any man, that man destroyed me.

[@Hatbox948]

That's how I feel now too. I'm done.

[@joyskye790]

So sorry about that

[@paradisefamilyvlogs3426]

I understand the first part of what u said-completely disgusted by who he wants to b in his life, evil. The second part, i don't want his evil to rob me of anymore fun & enjoyment in my life.

[@dollybigmomma]

OMG, this makes so much sense. He literally used to slap my hands away if I tried to touch him and acted like he was doing me a favor for even allowing it when he did. However, he was all in on the porn and gave all his attention and effort for that. I think men who rely on porn like that are also lazy lovers. They can just lay back and work a hand instead of having to actually do anything that would work for a live partner. It's pathetic.

[@lynda65587]

It seems that men are emotionally damaged by the porn that they love to take part in themselves, but get very hurt by the thought of the woman they love, doing the same. Its the usual double standards thing, that men try to impose on women. The thought that a woman might want sex, makes some men sick. They secretly think women are hoars if they want proper intimacy. It is very sad that they are like little boys witholding their toys and refusing to give their wives pleasure. In the case of girlfriends wanting sex, fine, a self respecting man should withold, but a wife has chosen to trust her husband to provide for her wellbeing, not abuse her with coldness and punishment, from his own perverse misconceptions. They will withold from the one they love and go out and use some unwanted woman, or masturbate, rather than show themselves as a needy and vulnerable and loveable man. It is not difficult to understand why they are messed up,. As most women dont wait till they are married and therefore the man wont trust her. If hes marrying a hoar, he will be trying all sorts of ways to avoid becoming her victim, as he knows she is no better than himself, is usually the case.

[@lorimiller7261]

My marriage with my narc ex husband was transactional. No connection just sick and abnormal behavior. I’m finally free and healing from the damage ❤

[@lasttyme2748]

❤hope to be like you someday, you said it, spot on! Helps when others tell they got out, hope is down the road.

[@stephthomas2247]

THIS! Everything was transactional! 😞🙄

[@cindymcdonnell2119]

Same

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

Who chose him?

[@NanaWilson-px9ij]

@impotent, Troll

[@v4756nb1rs]

This video has changed everything for me, especially the part about taking care of themselves in the shower rather than being with a real, live wife who loves him. I feel so disgusting and ugly constantly...😔Would be very interested in videos on how to cope when you can't leave just yet...maybe you could consider making a video about this? Thanks for your content. This is truly helpful. I feel a lot less crazy now.

[@Kklewis2223]

If a man is making me ask for it… no thanks I’m gonna go garden or read a book.

[@samramajeed5315]

Hahah 😂 cool

[@mandymckeown8625]

Id go and get it elsewhere though I was bought up by a narc 😂😂😂

[@SusiB123]

Crocheting 🧶 is better than sex with a narc 😅

[@yvonnenepooserich3020]

My ex narc was a porn addict and he cheated and lived out those porn videos with multiple women he was cheating I ended up dumping him

[@dlyteeats3868]

Same

[@LindaStokes-ff2kv]

Been in a sexless marriage before with a narcissist. No communication, affection either. But caught him having affair with a "just friends " married friend of his. I not only left but ran .

[@luxbeauty4952]

Omg never accept men with male minded lady friends

[@pallasathena1369]

I was engaged to him, otherwise same story... The "just a friend" was as nasty and downgrade as him. The most painful and shocking situation in my life.

[@luxbeauty4952]

@@pallasathena1369 don’t accept men with women friends

[@debra8883]

Good for you.

[@debra8883]

Divorce his hide, if you can.

[@francescakolbjornsen6516]

WoW 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 everything make sense now . I’m now traumatized sexually. I don’t want anyone near me now , I was so affectionate and loving. He made me feel useless and unattractive 😢

[@artgirl1339]

Being with a narc aged me so much when i was with him. Before i was naturally beautiful. The stress and anxiety he caused almost killed me. And now that I'm single i look good again.

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for this video and your kind encouragement. I was married 24 years to a narcissist, divorced now 18 years. I had my own guilt for being a practicing alcoholic for 21 of those years. I'm 21 years sober now. Most of the marriage I just thought he was a severely immature individual, unable to learn from his mistakes and grow up. He told me he finished fast in sex because he resented that I didn't seem to want him, so didn't want to give me pleasure. I thought: fair enough, you're right, I don't want you. There was nothing arousing to me about an entitled, whiny child who blames everyone else for their unending difficulties and thought sex was a service I owed him. My second (late) husband was a self-made alpha who made me feel safer than I've ever felt in my life. We were constantly affectionate, and sex was magnificent and frequent, big surprise. He healed me; I'm 70, fit and active, and hope to meet one more happy companion.

[@revelationishereeverhart8864]

Did the last relationship end? And if so, why?

[@candypalladino1348]

​@@revelationishereeverhart8864 She stated her Alpha male, 2nd (late) husband. He passed away. 🙏 Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth Bless You all and Keep You Safe 🙏

[@tropicaoptica]

Love hearing about your second husband! Gives me hope!

[@biondna7984]

@@tropicaoptica Wishing us both all joys.

[@yvettebravo347]

Good luck 🍀 Wish you the best🙏

[@arcallender5342]

Pornography has RUINED LIVES… some people can’t take it….

[@monski80]

Wow....I'm not alone ....😢

[@joanschannel9459]

No one should take it

[@GirlWhat74]

THANK YOU!!

[@tylerarnold943]

It has also saved marriages

[@varietypack4979]

My husband's porn addiction left him needing boner pills to stand at attention before he was 35 yrs old.

[@anniethompson1041]

This is so frickin smart. So so true. Thanks for the clarity royal dude.

[@marysaelidor7692]

The lack of intimacy, friendship hurts the most; any time you meet a kind person, their actions and words resonate in you…normal and kind become exceptional and personal…

[@maylenevaux8966]

Wow

[@lapantera8]

Why is this so called life coach is dressed as a pimp? And what’s up with the cigar? What is he selling? You look ridiculous bro. The that chair 😖

[@gorunsko31]

Exactly. Also kindness of others exposes my depravation 😢

[@merandaolson1869]

Best comment ever! So true! Being around warm blooded people make you feel what you are missing.

[@gorunsko31]

@@merandaolson1869 exactly

[@AnnetteChiniquy]

I was married for twenty six years to that guy. I always felt like his mommy/daddy issues were the cause of him being the biggest jerk in my life. Best wishes to anyone suffering through someone else's agony. ❤❤❤

[@CountrysideandLiving]

My Narc told me many times that his mum would do a better job in everything, including looking after our children, cooking, cleaning, being religious,...mama dearest

[@sweetsholland]

Thank you for this informative video...No longer feel alone in this... You nailed it!

[@parfecto7716]

I was married for 7 years to an asshole, he refused sex right at the beginning of the marriage. I was a virgin, I was confused and felt ugly, worthless and nothing but a woman. I luckily woke up and left him and I started to enjoy my life and I transformed my mind and soul. We are survivers, ladies! Stop wasting your precious time, it never comes back!

[@kssgpv]

i think i never wasted my time because i avoid men, no man is the solution..

[@janefromtennessee]

True

[@hajira5013]

It could be erectile dysfunction too but they date other woman had girlfriends did love others in the past or fancy

[@ZaZa-nm6sw]

He was obviously not playing for our team..😂

[@neffy2398]

They compartmentalise

[@1FantasticDreamBird]

I thought it was really weird how every morning he would walk around the room with a hard on, stand in front of the mirror, stand in front of the window. Make plans to do it- no show every time. I finally told him that I needed him to romance me. Eight years later, still nothing. The thought of the emotional abuse is sickening. He said, "hey how about we do it?" I replied, "you have to romance me." I told him I was going to get a lover on the side until he was serious. He said nothing. I told "him there is no intimacy anywhere in our marriage, no depth." He agreed. He knows exactly what he is doing. There is no room for anyone else but himself.

[@Blessed591]

You will be waiting forever . . . Better run while you can . Don't waste your sexually active years . . . He is definitely getting it outside . Ditch his game .

[@Vstar87]

This is what my narc would do except he would thrust his groin area towards me so pathetic

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

@@lorrainesmith.4995if there’s no sex and it’s still cold sheets in your second married then it’s your fault. You just have not found out why it is and no one is bold enough to tell you this truth.

[@NanaWilson-px9ij]

@impotent, You are a shaming troll. We see through your BS Begone.

[@idid138]

​@@omnipotentwiz5101 dudes are addicted to porn it's an epidemic that is killing normal intimacy. She just may be attracting the same type of man. You don't know.

[@Love-j8y]

I’m so happy God pulled me away from my ex. I was with him for almost 9 years of complete HELL..finally I was fed up and I walked away with my kids and it was the best decision I ever made.

[@reneehouser2925]

It's a miracle I'm alive, not in prison, or a mental health facility. I have overcome and moved on from decades of such terrible sadistic abuse. If I can do it, so can you! I always knew it wasn't me, I just couldn't change my hostage situation. Life is good now, I am free. I thank God daily for every day I am free.

[@Emily_Paris]

Freedom is good.

[@michellerutt6683]

Finally confirmation , after years of wondering what was wrong with me. I’m not qualified to say, however, for the last few years I have suspected Porn addiction was the root cause. So hurtful, heartbreaking. Thank you.

[@janetmcbee]

OShit, you're the first that has said this. Thank you!

[@mysticswalk3086]

I feel there is also the component of a wife no longer chased by other men because she's married.. She is following her commitment, but it turns the male off. Some of them want a woman who is wanted and chased by other men. It makes them feel superior to other men when they win her affection. If the competition isn't there their desire isn't there.

[@RGB758Y]

Nope that's female thinking, men get used to the same woman and it turns me off, it's called the Coolidge Effect.

[@barbarabuttler7647]

Excellent point!!!!!

[@BNyaB]

Sick!!! 😳

[@Merbella]

True, but that's an immature way to operate. If the woman has to flirt with other men all the time, what's the point?

[@lmiller1413]

Spot on. And watch him try for a bit, if she has one foot out the door, until the competition is gone. Let's hope women can stay their course once a new man starts chasing, and stay gone, and not get hoovered back..

[@Flyfenix-l3u]

That video with 4 reasons You did, was the key for me to discover that I have been in relationship with a narc for 29 years......We are divorced after 2 months of my discovery, now 6 months. Healing process has begun.

[@mayazayzo]

I remember simply asking him for a hug and he just stared at me like oh yeah, I'm in control here.

[@rockinrollin8306]

In any way, they can demean women. They will do it! They get off on it. Pun intended, lol. It's all about power and control.

[@lasttyme2748]

🤣we can still laugh, they can't take anymore

[@kssgpv]

exactly, men are misogynists, most of them

[@Ottomanewfiemix]

I was with mine for 37 years. He didn't have sex with me often because he wanted to keep it tight!! Yep. Every 5-7 weeks if I was lucky! We dated 6 years and it was pretty normal. Totally changed when we married! He passed away 3 years ago. I am damaged goods now. No clue how to date after 37 years and I am terrified that I will end up with another one. - He was a sadistic narcissist! So evil!

[@WalksfortheSoul77]

You are not damaged goods. HE was damaged goods. It might take some time to heal, but you can learn about narcissism, all the patterns, all the types, covert, vulnerable, etc and then you can go out in the world and meet a kind, affectionate man. You can learn the signs to avoid the narcs when you come across them. And of course work on building your own self-worth and boundaries. Anyway, I understand you, I think the same way some days. But today I feel more hopeful. You are NOT damaged goods. You are just healing from massive abuse.

[@lindageiling5922]

Do u really want another man after 37 yrs , 🤔 today it seems most men r really damaged. I think porn n dating sites have alot to do with it, it's easy to move on to the next n the next n cheat .

[@Starlightbarking]

It’s perfectly ok to be alone for a season to seek healing and restoration. If you do decide to return to dating in the future please be reassured that you will be very aware of the red flags which warn you of abusive behaviour, once you re-learn to trust your intuition.

[@princessp1963]

Please be careful how you address yourself. We can't know the nightmare you went through but your healing begins when you acknowledged that you not only survived but outlived your abuser. If anything you are a fighter, friend.

[@Vixinaful]

@@WalksfortheSoul77 Best comment you could ever get gurl, right here ^ Thank you for telling her. She is NOT damaged, she will RISE again!

[@Babu-kr3cr]

They can't enjoy something together with someone else. They have to be number one and dominating. The only thing they like is the control. They will pretend to like you, but if you get something from it, that turns them off. They want to be the only one gaining. I don't know if it is estrogen dominant, but it is pretty gay.

[@sadiamufti8890]

Soooooo true

[@bumblebee_ms]

I agree.

[@Portia620]

😂😂🥂

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

I think you are right.😢

[@Prometheuspredator]

Alot of narcissistic men are on the downlow. I hope you know what that means.

[@cyndiwilliams4177]

Exactly my life for 33 years. I finally got out and I am happy alone and not living in confusion, gaslighting, fear, rejection, and abuse anymore.

[@h20pixiedustforsleep46]

I was married for 23 years to a monster who denied me sex for most of our marriage, gave me the silent treatment for an entire year, was addicted to porn, and cheated on me regularly. Finally, I found the courage to leave. He moved on immediately with his mistress, who became his 2nd wife, soon after we divorced. He's her problem now. Good riddance.

[@oilselevated4808]

33 years here also, went from crappy to none. He’s dead now and I haven’t been this happy in years

[@janellegennovario]

Thats so good you were able to leave! Im happier alone away from that monster

[@sylvia5361]

@@oilselevated4808this was my life he’s dead now 4 years on my own loving life.

[@janievalentine5916]

Another reason to stay happily single ❤ In a relationship with myself, for the foreseeable ❤

[@jessicahoskins8606]

Same!!🎉❤

[@leeann5442]

I have my own theory as to why the narcissist I was in a relationship with stopped being intimate/having sexual relations with me (but still having sex with who only knows) ... Its because he turned me into this "mother" figure that he could put on a pedestal and have respect for, and as most of us should know, its a moral sin to have those types of relations/feelings with your "mother" ... I would ask him for a simple hug, and he would swat my arms away like his "mommy" shouldnt be pressed against him like that ... the expression on his face was something straight out an Alfred Hitchcock movie, as if he has done it before with his real mother ... I could literally write a book, as I'm sure, we all can ... ultimately though the rejection is really our protection and I can live with that

[@katerinadiamanti8941]

This resonates with me...the freudian "madonna/whore complex".

[@room333rd]

I had a friend I became friends with out of nowhere. She told me she ended her relationship with a man she called "chester the molester". Many of these narcissistic male or sometimes females are into prostitutes 🥴. Praise God such a person is out of your life.

[@BJB1122]

You're not going to be like one of those boys are you? Norma Bates, Psycho

[@gorunsko31]

I hear you so well. Sam Vaknin ( has KZbin channel) explains how narc is a child, not separated from his mother yet. He will romance first a woman he selected to be his mother figure, so he can finish his separation process. Never really works this way. Like a little boy, he will idealize first, than at the slightest disappointment, he will abuse his partner in the name of punishing his biological mother. This never stops, because he is not fully conscious of this. Nevertheless, the abuse and suffering we experience as a punching bag, is still devastating. Best wishes snd ❤ to you and all partners of narcissists, but especially covert ones.

[@leeann5442]

@@gorunsko31 I consider myself to be a pretty level headed person, but have you ever found yourself questioning whether "The Exorcist" is really a work of fiction😂😂 I swear, my ex reminds me of a modern-day Norman Bates EXCEPT he falls on the "milder" end of the spectrum, whereas he was never violent and hardly ever cursed, although there were times, I swear, I thought he was possessed ... thankfully for all of us, that narc playbook never changes or gets updated, and that's why we will always WIN because they simply are not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually equipped to deviate from the playbook😂😂

[@amberp5207]

I’ve been in a sexless marriage since the beginning of 2018 when I got pregnant w/mine & my husband’s child. I blamed myself bc I was pregnant and my belly was growing. Then I blamed myself bc I was overweight postpartum. Well, I had the baby. I lost all the weight. I worked on listening to therapists to be the best I could be. I cried & pleaded w/my husband about how hurt I felt and that my self esteem, amongst other things were in the toilet. He always had some lame excuse. It’s now 2024 and I’m still in the same boat. I stay to b a full time mother to our daughter who has some special needs. Every time we go out together, random people r always complimenting me. I’ve realized that it’s not me…FINALLY!!! It’s so cruel. All he cares about is himself.

[@Blessed591]

I wish you could leave . . . Otherwise he will waste your youth . . . And he will not change . . .

[@BNyaB]

Ruuuun!! 🏃🏃

[@Merbella]

Leave. He will destroy you and your kid.

[@Saucysauce2020]

Girl its your fault now because you know all this and still won't leave him girl work on yourself put your foot down and let him know you will leave if he doesn't change so work on your body beauty mental and financial so you can find someone else and not feel insecure like he's the only men in the world

[@NanaWilson-px9ij]

Please don't use the word "fault." Do you know about trauma bonding? It's like brainwashing..... Yes, she doesn't deserve his cruel abuse. As she learns more about the narcissistic manipulation and trauma bonding she may finally be able to leave.

[@cybermom41]

Thank you Kevin. 🌷 This is an area with such little illumination. Speaking for me, believing literally " I am the weaker vessel therefore he must be right" . I intuitively knew something was 'off' yet I could not cognitively or spiritually balance or make sense of this. Thank you for exposing the myth/lie and for rephrasing the truth in a way that helps me continue to remove the strange tint on my eyes and gives me pause, to reposition my 'flashlight ' toward a real stepping stone that upholds me long enough for the next unknown step.🌷

[@saradwyer2451]

Narcissists are married to themselves and their spirit spouse is Jezabel….

[@Wayoutgurl]

Woww!!!! Whoaaa!! 😆 Interesting!!

[@shellylavigne5913]

Yep. Had that, did that, done with that.

[@saradwyer2451]

@@shellylavigne5913 me too lol

[@momthebomb5133]

Whoa. Spot on

[@14margott]

Yeah and her incarnation is his fanatical heretical so-called christian moma. Who used the Bible to emasculate him and turn him into her nurse, servant and echo.

[@kmad4peacetv456]

Run run run run run run run run run run run from those types...this behavior will mess you up psychologically!

[@SeraphinaMarti]

This explains so much for so many women, who are the jerks teaching this to men? I gave up on dating because I kept running into these guys.

[@DeshaunTellez]

You have a new subscriber! I was in a sexless marriage for 12 long years. Fit, smart, feminine, caring and hardworking. Nothing made him desire normal sex.

[@littleleafyleaf]

If he was a covert narc then you were likely his “beard”. They pick beautiful women to mask as straight when they are actually in the closet or at least bisexual. I have been a “beard” three times!

[@debra8883]

Dump him as fast as you can.

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

@@littleleafyleafif you’ve been a beard 3 times, it shows you’ve got a very poor sense of judgement in selecting romantic partners. Blame no one else.

[@littleleafyleaf]

@@omnipotentwiz5101 is this comment the epitome of “victim blaming” or what ha

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

@@littleleafyleaf teach people to take ownership of their lives. If you keep on picking narcs or jerks... newsflash, you’re the common denominator here. It’s your fault for picking them. We l*dies need to do better. Ownership and accountability is key. It stops bs. We are adults. Do better.

[@thehippydippywitchy1691]

They get off on the power and control. So very much like the sexual predator that we are more used to seeing depicted. It's not about sex to them. It's about power. Was married to one for 25 years and sexless for 22 of them. As soon as I took my power back and refused to rely on him for anything - and I mean anything - he lost all control over me and I've been free of him for two years now. Should have done it 20 years ago. Ladies, don't put up with it. As long as you do, you are giving him power over you and it won't end.

[@suzieyosef6267]

It doesn't end until you get them completely out of your life

[@janef4701]

I’ve watched many dating coaches and psychologists speak about narcissism. I have questioned my ex’s narcissism for months… Living in denial and trying to find any reason I could be wrong. However, you were the first one to make it all very clear to me. There is no denying the cruel narcissism of my ex when I listen to you. I find the way you speak so empowering to me, a sensual, sensitive, loving woman. I think you’re so right that narcissists Reverse the roles…how very unnatural. I am now going to binge your videos lol. Thank you for sharing your incredible insights and encouragement!!

[@lauriejordan2716]

What this results in is the woman cheating with someone else. After 2 years of not touching me, I cheated. He was actually shocked. Like what did he think, would live like that forever???

[@evilkitty1994]

Yes. Narcs see us like appendages. It's shocking to them when their arm acts on its own against permission.

[@322Mermaid]

They slow honey. I had to wake my husband UP....I left with the baby and promised him I wouldn't put up with NONSENSE. We are good now....he figured it out

[@Galatians872]

Same

[@MelModica]

Exactly! I dealt with an alcoholic that I think may be a narc. He would with hold sex and affection and always accuse me of talking to other men even though I wasn’t and after a while it made me question myself even though I never cheated on anyone and the lack of affection and emotional support was too much after years and I did want to talk to other men, I met a guy guy that made me feel like I wasn’t a ghost and I cheated once and I’m not happy either way cause I can’t even let my guard down and I don’t think I can ever trust anyone again. I wasn’t sure if my partner was secretly gay but I think his alcoholism is a huge factor but I had never heard of men and narcs with holding sex from their partners and most of us can’t talk about it or get advice so we just stay and suffer silently!

[@lauriejordan2716]

I am so sorry all of you ladies also had to deal with that. I truly pray you are all in a healthy happy place now.

[@annette1982]

Delusions of grandeur = I am the reward. I get it, it goes with their feelings of grandiosity.

[@joymartina]

This allowed me to understand at a really deep level. Thank you!

[@sirenachantal471]

He made comments about other women and how they deserved sex, based on how they looked. No action for years. It took me too long but I’m over it and on my way out.

[@revelationishereeverhart8864]

Don't ever tell an abuser that you are leaving him...many women never lived to tell.

[@happycamper3561]

After dating for a few years and seeing this truly depraved and sick behavior from even so called “Christian” men, I am happily 42 and single 4 life. I love Jesus Christ and my life is complete following Him.

[@Valleygirl66]

Men think with their penis and wallet I got fed up🎉no more🎉

[@Owlbutterfly]

They ain't Christian if it was like that

[@tricialafrancerougas]

My ex was “Christian” as well… quoted scripture at me to control me if we disagreed about something… I’ve learned there are people who claim to be Christians but don’t have the fruit of being a Christian. I’ve learned to ask deeper questions on their beliefs and not just to go by outward appearance. People can set up things to look good on the outside but be terrible on the inside. My ex husband can have my virginity and 8 of the worst months of my life. When you know what hurts someone and you intentionally do it and don't have remorse when you do wrong, that is not evidence of a genuine believer. Praying you find healing and open your heart to be loved correctly some day! 🫶🏼

[@Owlbutterfly]

@@tricialafrancerougas yeah on dating apps there are men that say they are catholic on their profile but it says taken or that they are into fwb and polygamy . on the dating app I been on then all the guys that say catholic on their profile are the same as the ones that say atheist !!! . wow ...tired of the crap

[@NanaWilson-px9ij]

Remember, the devil had the nerve to quote scripture to Jesus. Anyone can quote scripture. I'm glad you got away and are doing so well.

[@jordanlennox5435]

Honestly, this issue of what is essentially about control is not only for wives…sadly, it is for the vast majority of women.. there are a lot of broken boys out here who chose to function like trash and try to take amazing women down with them. It’s a sad day in this age we are in.

[@tobbiehaynes8380]

Ladies were not alone. 😢

[@Maricel-ot4eu]

😢😢😢it hit me so hard

[@joanncoopertroupe3506]

This stuff Is Awful.

[@artbygilik]

I had no idea so many dealt with the same things I went through. Because of this person I lost all desire for romance and relationships, while he’s out there flirting with women who have no idea what’s coming

[@arwenperea]

They want you to truly idolize them as God- and marriage that becomes a form of idolatry must end. You do not need a male medium to be favored by God or hear his voice. These were my own false beliefs, but I spiritually feel more pure now single and prioritizing the Holy Spirit over some dude and what he said God told him. No more idolatry.

[@venesha71]

I agree!Celibate for years now and i'm at peace!The Lord removed the soul tie i had to him.

[@An_Gha_]

He told me directly that if there was no God then the husband will be the God to her wife.

[@Prometheuspredator]

Amen. Been celebate for 10 years and it staying that way. I am done.

[@Times-of-Jonah]

After my divorce, I heard internally,like a sudden understanding, "don't make a man your God." And finally I could see.

[@emilyhunter8507]

You said it perfectly. It’s idolatry being with a narc I knew it and still sinned to get it

[@shannonbrowe3870]

I'm going through that now my husband hasn't touched me in 14 years. He claims he doesn't cheat, but I don't believe his lies because he lies all the time. I'm in the middle of getting a divorce now.

[@Maricel-ot4eu]

Im sorry to hear that 😢

[@shannonbrowe3870]

@Maricel-ot4eu Thank you! People like you make it a little easier. Thank you for your kindness 🙏

[@MarianneKunitz7777]

Your 100% correct Kevin. I was married to a narcissistic man like that. I divorced him on the grounds that he wasn't intimate with me for 2 years! He was humiliated by that. His friends all said I was too much woman for him. You have grounds for divorce if he refuses intimacy for over 3 to 5 months. Let me add he was unfaithful to me and even told me so. It's was wonderful to divorce him.

[@brandismith676]

Is that grounds legally for divorce? withholding intimacy

[@MarianneKunitz7777]

@@brandismith676 Yes absolutely. In New York State it is. I divorced my husband on those grounds. When you don't share sex with your spouse divorce is easy!

[@katrinayoung7577]

What?! Grounds for divorce… oh my. Let me tell you that you are able to divorce for any reason. How can any legal system continue to gaslight women by saying they need a “valid” reason or “grounds for”. In Australia you can divorce simply because you want to. What a controlling system no you can’t divorce because you don’t have “grounds” a bet a narc made that rule

[@GraceLivingston-fo3vn]

@@brandismith676 it is also biblical grounds for divorce, multiple examples throughout scripture, and commands in both old and new testaments to not deprive one another of marital intimacy, specifically, men were judged by God for this. Even unto death. The incredibly odious pride involved is an offense to God, as is the rebellion against his design and creation, as is the adultery nearly always involved intimacy anorexia towards a wife.

[@MsBrooklyn62]

NC is a no-fault state so they don't care why you want a divorce they just make you wait 1 year and 1 day before you can file.

[@oneeyeeye4782]

My narcissistic gay,bi live in boyfriend for 9 years ,didn’t break my heart,e broke my Soul,all I ask is who ever is in charge of this 🌎 to expose these Demons, Beautiful Ladies out there,don’t give up on Love or Sex,If you haven’t broken the chain yet,BREAK It ,sending LOVE to all you beautiful souls out there love❤

[@rhonaanderson3820]

❤

[@AAOFIT]

❤

[@patriciarye-si4zj]

Hi ,I Like Your Video ,Your So Supportive Towards Women & More,Your Amazing Thank You ,Wa State

[@Blessed591]

Oh no . . .. At the start of the marriage he said I had too much sexual energy for him to cope up with . Then for the next 23 years of my life I kept asking . . . Rarely got anything and when it came it was lousy . . . I thought I would go crazy . . . Then I am the faithful type So I sat n waited , got tired and left . . .but many times I felt like he was secretly gay and or was gay but didn't realise it . . .

[@lovepeacejoyhappiness]

You're onto something there. I think MANY of these narcs are secretly gay, or pedos, and they just want that mommy in the house. Or they secretly hate women because of their mommy issues, and want one around to abuse and then go off and get with men. Very easy to withhold sex to your wife when you're gay....

[@jennymowery79]

They realize it trust me

[@desireereyes9043]

I think the same of mine he’s texting his friend all day. He sends him pictures of the cat. He tells him what he’s doing every step of the day., it’s suspect to me

[@Tigers_Eye_Lady]

Misogyny maybe too

[@missyv9581]

@@jennymowery79I agree. They know. I married mine in 1989 before easily available porn. I was young and a virgin when we married. He would bring me home Playgirl magazines. He said so I could see what other men look like. I was so naive. They were for him.

[@seeUnique1]

WoW! You nailed it! Narcs are sick individuals for sure!!

[@nicolecottom4182]

This is one of the best videos I've ever seen! This used to be me, but not anymore! Thank you so very much!

[@lulumoon6942]

*WE HAVE TO INOCULATE OUR CHILDREN AGAINST SUCH PREDATORS WITH CAPACITY AND SELF CONFIDENCE!* 🙏 From a child and adult survivor, AND a longtime former DV Advocate

[@firelily77]

Ive been married for 19 years and havent had sex with him since 2015. In 19 years I can count somewhere between maybe 25-50 times total. Ive cheated on him multiple times. I used to feel bad but we dont have a real marriage where we talk and share and dream together. Nope its just about paying the bills and nothing more. Ive never felt so empty with another person. I just dont make the money to support myself alone and I have noone to take me in. Im still trying and ill never stop trying to leave. I lost the best years of my life to a sexless, covert narcissist.

[@Wayoutgurl]

You mean you got some 25-50 ?? You did good! Ask me how I know. I hear you loud and clear on everything you said! ❤

[@guidinglightorphansinc.5255]

My exact years, exact times, exact situation but am on my way

[@guidinglightorphansinc.5255]

Keep looking there's free help out there.

[@Gaby-cq8pr]

He know you don't have the financial stability to live on your own that is why he does that to you I'm kind of in the same situation where my financial doesn't allow me to live on my own

[@debbiandrews1981]

Damn. Relatable as F. I'm now actually LIVING my life after his discard, and he's amazingly regretting his actions. Too late now! 🤷🏼‍♀️