My husband denied me sex for years, while he would masturbate alone. Once I asked him why and he said "because I was mad at you." When I would ask him when we were ever going to make love again, he would say "we'll see." I had to prove my worth to him every day. I was a virgin when we married so I didn't know any better. He would tell me that no man could ever get an erection with me and that I was frigid. So in my 40s, I was so mentally confused that I needed to see if the problem really was me, and took a leap of faith with someone else. It showed me that I had never had good or healthy sex with my husband, and the true connection I had been missing. I've been with this other man for almost 10 years now. He is my soulmate and best friend. Sex is not a reward to be withheld. It's an integral part of real intimacy.
@Portia6207 ай бұрын
I’m so thrilled to hear of this and you deserve a healthy human being in your life! ❤❤🙏🙏
@denisedevoto57037 ай бұрын
So happy for you! Your story sounds like it could have been written by me. I have been with my wonderful, caring, supportive man for 6 years. Just had our anniversary two days ago.
@lovelysosweet83867 ай бұрын
I’m so happy you found love finally ❤
@debbiekillewald83847 ай бұрын
I was told that too when I was married. Then I met someone who I had the best sex life with once I left him. I couldn't believe it because it was the first time I ever experienced that. He had me thinking I was broken and deserved it.
@nadyatytian2797 ай бұрын
I understand what you say & empathise with you. My ex husband used to be exactly the same..
@karmicdreamer6 ай бұрын
I can’t count the amount of times I’ve heard from other ladies that we can lay in bed next to these monsters crying ourselves to sleep (if it’s even possible to sleep) feeling rejected and unbearably alone while they snore away without a care in the world ! I could never make someone feel like that no matter how angry or tired I was. The loneliest feeling I’ve ever experienced was laying next to someone who made me feel more alone than actually being alone….Never Again. 😒
@sadiamufti88906 ай бұрын
😢😢😢😢
@lizagomez73685 ай бұрын
I never understood it either. It was beyond cruel.
@kathiejl15 ай бұрын
I too cried while he lay over on the other side turned away from me and slept. No goodnight words or kiss or snuggle or cuddle.
@trumpeterswan41775 ай бұрын
I'm find aloneness to be quite preferable to being with someone who was so awful and hurtful and neglectful, God is my best friend and He has been faithful to care for me when no one else would.
@johannapollaert91225 ай бұрын
How about sitting in the same room, yet feeling alone? Going to bed at 20.30 only as not to feel neglected and ignored by him being in that very same living room? To have only 5 questions or sentences said to you in the entire day and then it was a top day, because it could be less easily too? The repertoire ALWAYS was: - How was your day? (Obliged to say good... and that was it. For issues he referred me to my family and friends) - Need anything from the kitchen? - Need anything from the shop - Good night And 1 other sentence
@thedavineempress2 ай бұрын
Im so glad that narcissistic men are finally being put on blast and being revealed, their time is over, karma is here 🙌🏼💫
@louisaharley6635Ай бұрын
It took long enough fir woman of what tgey used to term as a domestic, back in the day men were actually nit wife beaters as it wasn't against the law, police never intervened, and other men would praise eachother fir keeping the thumb down It took a long time before that law was changed woman had a fight on there hands and men never felt they were wrong as it was passed down as tge norm.
@viktoriapolishchuk80144 күн бұрын
Yeah,but they will never accept that. And this is also part of the diagnosis 😢
@JK-ov8gl6 ай бұрын
Omg this is mind blowing! After 23 years of marriage, we divorced. I lived this! A narcissistic gaslighter! He starved me of affection and sex. Through the divorce I found out he cheated multiple times! I have going through my healing journey for the last 5 years and in such an amazing place! I pray women who are in these relationships have the strength and courage to choose themselves! ❤
@texasgma35786 ай бұрын
So happy for you! Me too. Been blessed to be with a real man for thirty years. I spent 15 married to my ex. Best to look forward and congratulate yourself for seeing through him at last.
@kathyhansen28206 ай бұрын
Very sad and I can see how that would damage your self confidence. That's simply not normal. I was married for 38 years (until he passed) And even after 38 years I couldn't walk up stairs in front of him without my --- being grabbed. We were still holding hands until he died. Get yourself a good man that doesn't play games with your head.
@AprilFirst7776 ай бұрын
Sorry,I lost 18 yrs,Off my life, Making Love All,Was awesome in beginning ... He died,8 months ago, Suddenly,I never got,Closure,Will Never know if he ever loved me,He got 2 leg Amputations,Took care of him,11 years,Treat like S##t !...
@susiesmith12906 ай бұрын
My ex husband would stick it inside me when I was sleeping after tucking in our three children.... a friend told me THAT'S RAPE! It's true. He'd said he'd saved himself for me after "working late"
@TCpointsof6 ай бұрын
I understand I was married to a narcissist who wouldn’t have sex with me. He told everyone that I had lead myself go and that was the reason.
@ShoJ3696 ай бұрын
Narcissistic men don't make love, they perform. In the early days they will perform with you, but they move on, it's all about the chase and the conquest for them. They will keep you to cook and clean for them, but intimacy does not exist with them.
@maryguenther75743 ай бұрын
So true! Only early on..
@nicholerichardbarker79453 ай бұрын
Oh my gosh… after 6 years I am now coming out of denial after the past 2 years that I’ve seen proof over and over. It’s gut wrenching!!!
@Dr-MiNa3 ай бұрын
@@ShoJ369 yes true. I told him that "Don't tucked me, make love to me".He is kind of confused also. He loves to go down on me and bring me on and orgasem.he is quick I am delayed. He fucks in a way that can be filmed the exact spot.porn. he don't do classic face to face. Back and legs up mostly.
@rosecurate54143 ай бұрын
This is the absolute truth.
@cherylbagshaw51513 ай бұрын
This is so true! I can't even.
@sarahp.55814 ай бұрын
I am a psychologist and this is one of the most helpful videos I have ever seen. I will be sending this to several clients.
@Ihopeitsshittyattheblackdog6 күн бұрын
...kind of sad, isn't it?
@patriciakubitz13797 ай бұрын
Sex acts without intimacy and affection are shallow, cold and shameful. It’s like having sexual intimacy with a programmed robot. At least the tin man had a ✨❤️✨
@2011hib7 ай бұрын
Yeah. Sex without intimacy. He gets discouraged when I turn down sex but doesn’t push it. We don’t have any kissing or foreplay.
@ScoutMcGovern-vd1rx7 ай бұрын
A simulation of genuine intimacy. No more
@debra88837 ай бұрын
How about the "Ice-Man"???
@tammywallace56116 ай бұрын
Exactly like a robot!!
@andrewsmith32576 ай бұрын
@@ScoutMcGovern-vd1rxthat's even worse than cold and emotionless..fake emotion without any passion. I feel sorry for people stuck with an NPD partner..
@agirl39026 ай бұрын
I was one who asked for affection until one day I noticed a very slight smirk on his face. I realized that he was intentionally withholding from me for his personal enjoyment. That was the LAST time
@raeven12006 ай бұрын
I saw it too. You're not alone.
@zuiiee6 ай бұрын
He gaslit me into thinking I was the one who was withholding- and using it to justify his prostitutes and other disgusting behaviors- but when I went through all the journals- I saw where I constantly wrote that he was denying me. No more gaslighting.
@conniesagredo53166 ай бұрын
Wow interesting thank you
@Vixinaful6 ай бұрын
Thats sadism..Sadism is included within cluster B disorders. So they enjoy others torture.
@SusanSummer6 ай бұрын
I actually imagined it from his demeanor
@marthamullinax82475 ай бұрын
I have destroyed myself because of trying to do the right thing. I use to be happy and in good physical shape. I married a narcissist and didn't know what it was at the time. No i have gained weight, some days i dont get out of bed. Some days i dont comb my hair or put on makeup. I have drove in my head that im just unlovable and unworthy of love. This video has really made me think about things. I want my life back. I want joy. I want to smile. I use to think if i put my head down and get through this that one day ill die and ill be free. It never dawned on me that its not me.
@shenequakimbro51464 ай бұрын
No it's not you at all. These men are monsters. I declare you will be healthy again
@vivonasnuvens4 ай бұрын
PLS don't give up. start little by little , get out of bed, do something you will feel better. do some sort of physical sport, walk somewhere, see people, get fresh air. take care of yourself and your health first. don't give them the pleasure to see you down. that's happens to all of us but remember you are strong and changes will depend on you. see some good videos about this NPD's devil's and try to understand them first them you can get energy to stand up and rebuild yourself. it's difficult and possible. look for help, there is groups available to help you cope. everybody deserve to be loved.
@Tlittau39443 ай бұрын
I’d say THIS IS YOUR SIGN & REASON TO GET OUT OF BED… brush your hair… start moving… make your bed and put on some upbeat music & find yourself again :) STAY SILENT WITH THIS REVELATION!! Use this as your super power!!! IT’LL BE THE GREATEST REVENGE 💯 ❤
@j.w86803 ай бұрын
I'm a woman & I think you're beautiful. He's a fool for denying you what is natural & beautiful. Sorry you were treated that way. It is cruel & emotionally abusive to deny someone affection & intimacy in that way & to put the cherry on the cake, tell you it's YOUR fault. The fault lies in him. What a waste of your precious time & energy & beautiful spirit! They drain people, they walk away after using, neglecting & abusing you 'til you are a dry husk of what you used to be. They only return when it suits THEM. Sexual intimacy should be reciprocal & part of every loving relationship. Denying you, strips you of a vital part of what it means to be human & in touch with your body. You're too good for him. You always were. I hope you find a person who treats you like the incredibly precious human being you are, but most of all wish you can learn to be with yourself & love & value your own company. You don't need anyone else to complete you. You are incredible all on your own. Don't tell him. Just hold, & know, these things in your heart to be true, because they are. Love yourself - that's the best gift you can give yourself. Being with someone who is abusive, but, in a private way is a double twist of cruelty. He will deaden your soul. Your depressions will be partly driven by his neglectfulness and his verbal/emotional attacks on you. You deserve so much better. Good luck & take care.
@miriamjoy92173 ай бұрын
@marthamullinax8247 Jesus loves you so much and had a wonderful life of freedom, joy and peace for you. He does not look lightly upon His daughter being abused. Remove yourself from the narc. God has better for you. He will restore your life. Lean on Him. He is our faithful one. ❣️
@paul2019monte6 ай бұрын
They are often extremely cheap and proud of it. They are cheap in every sense of the word including kindness and love
@texasgma35786 ай бұрын
This was 100% my experience as well. He would remove items I wanted from the shopping cart while buying $$$ shoes for himself.
@kirstytekauru23856 ай бұрын
Absolutely you're so right cheap&nasty haha 😂happy I left that person
@kirstytekauru23856 ай бұрын
Yeah the narcissist knew I loved flowers 💐 so I never got any lol. After a few months I left him. I'm free and happy with God's healing now. And waiting for a true man of god
@paul2019monte6 ай бұрын
@@kirstytekauru2385 I buy my own flowers. It turns out a lot cheaper 😊💯
@CleverChimney6 ай бұрын
Exactly. Proud of the fact and bragged about when buying me the cheapest ass stuff you can imagine. One year I got a pair of socks for Xmas. 😂
@PhyllisHerron-r9s5 ай бұрын
It is not a reward. It is neglect and abuse
@peachesandpoets5 ай бұрын
Yep. I agree with him except for one part. I know he is a right wing nutcase but blaming vaccines for males being narcissists is wild. 02:15.
@Blueflameintegration2 ай бұрын
@@peachesandpoets to be fair, we don’t know all the side effects that these vaccines cause. If you think the chemicals in these vaccines can’t mess up a person’s brain functioning then I don’t know what to tell you.
@Tasha.b892 ай бұрын
@@peachesandpoetsno he's saying they may be feminising men, hence the feminine behaviour.
@kyramoan67396 ай бұрын
Nothing hurts more than to be in a relationship/situationship with someone & feel lonlier than you've EVER felt in your whole life!
@glowieokenney79156 ай бұрын
I know right!
@cindymcdonnell21196 ай бұрын
Same !
@lajuanalongoria50485 ай бұрын
I'd rather be alone than in a relationship and lonely.
@PerfectContradiction5 ай бұрын
May as well be alone atp and I am at peace, my children as well❤️living our best life over here
@janicebrowning96445 ай бұрын
Right there with you
@jenniferbradley38297 ай бұрын
My husband wanted me to beg for a simple kiss. Often, he would turn his head and only allow me to kiss his cheek. He got great pleasure withholding intimacy in our marriage. We wanted me to service him every day but would not touch me because I hadn't earned it in his opinion. I now know my worth and left him.
@briskettacos7 ай бұрын
Good for you.
@sp3g567 ай бұрын
That’s horrible, so glad you were able to get out.
@WhiteGhost217 ай бұрын
@@lorrainesmith.4995 took you 10 years to realize? says more about you than him
@stacysmith73876 ай бұрын
Wow. I’m so glad to read this. I thought he was just scared of affection. But that’s just being a dick.
@kriscrystaline97936 ай бұрын
Male perspective here. Are some women into that tho?? It seems sometimes not all, but some women are a bit masochistic or sadist. I personally am not attracted to women who are like this because I don’t want to engage with women like that. If that makes me weak in the eyes of some women than so be it. I believe in god and love
@Stephanie-c3e2w3 ай бұрын
I was in a relationship with a narcissist I have better sex by myself now he taught me one thing I've learned from this relationship I don't need him
@giarad98226 ай бұрын
Interesting you bring up the connection between porn and narcissists… it is a strong one. Pornography is typically a huge part of a narcissist’s life.
@aprilgooden89044 ай бұрын
My ex is obsessed with it
@dianpouringbliss95254 ай бұрын
It made him impotent...
@varietypack49794 ай бұрын
@@dianpouringbliss9525 Same with my husband. Addicted to all things pornographic, the more deviant the better. Our sex life dropped off a cliff before either of us was 30. Now it is based on whether his ED prescription is filled and he isn't even 40.
@joanofarcxxi3 ай бұрын
They are autoerotic. They love to please themselves the most. My ex, a narcissist who later admitted to me to have been intimate with countless women, told me one day "I have had a lot of sex, but the best sex I have had is with myself".
@jamiebrumant85122 ай бұрын
@@dianpouringbliss9525oh gosh😂😂😂😂
@lulumoon69427 ай бұрын
DON'T FORGET THEIR ENDLESS CHEATING, THEIR NEEDS ARE MET ELSEWHERE! 👀
@guidaferreira3717 ай бұрын
Yes and std's... I got std's twice in 28 years.. I didn't know any better, I just knew something was wrong.. Just alst year I started to goggle about narcissism.. And yes I was familiar with all of what I read... 😢
@lulumoon69427 ай бұрын
@@guidaferreira371 No doubt blaming YOU, as well! You deserve better, healing vibes to you. 🙏
@lesliekatona3097 ай бұрын
You're wrong
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
You chose those men. Blame yourself.
@Lacuna11226 ай бұрын
@omnipotentwiz5101 nah man, now you're talking crazy. Women don't take accountability
@teresaz71525 ай бұрын
You have very valid points. It's been awhile since I've viewed narc videos...I've had my lion's share of them. I'm going to throw a curveball.....The porn angle is very valid....I feel at some point they try to turn us into a "mother figure" that's the main goal. They will ALWAYS TRIANGULATE...I also came to another revelation....Who's to say they're not actually fixated on the man in porn...most victims of narc abuse wonder if their partner is gay or bi-sexual on a gut level.....re-read this.❤
@ThrivenLife5 ай бұрын
yes, I believe they are secretly gay or at least bisexual. They don't want a hamburger, they really want a hot dog. That's also why many husbands are angry and resentful towards their wife. She's not truly who or what he wants. Cowards really, unable or unwilling to own their true identity. Sorry for the "bearded" wives!!! ☹
@MikeVinKC4 ай бұрын
My girlfriend's ex called her Mommy as a nickname, spoke to her in a childish voice, would watch sissy porn before he could get in the mood, cross dressed, and other various other kinks.
@mariaisabelcruz49433 ай бұрын
I always thought he was gay..... life like hell.
@AAOFIT3 ай бұрын
Yes, my soon to be ex husband I believe is bi because the was reaching out to transsexuals.
@joyskye7903 ай бұрын
Wow! Never thought of it in that way What a revelation!
@sweetdreams31197 ай бұрын
Everything is transactional. Everything. When I look back, after hearing this, it all makes sense. We older ladies were groomed from youth to believe it's slutty to ask for intimacy and so play right into this evil game. Dang, I lost actual decades of prime adult loving potential to this nonsense. At least I understand it now. Thank you for covering this devastating topic. Healing begins with understanding and this journey has been hard, but I'm grateful for every tidbit of wisdom that lights the path ahead. Thank you, again.
@jenniferbradley38297 ай бұрын
I love how you stated that it was transactional... but it is much worse... you are required to hold up your end of the relationship, and they only respond "if they feel like it" or if they can punish you or let you know you aren't even good enough for their attention.
@alexvrettos55657 ай бұрын
Transactions so true punishment and hate taking place to make you feel unworthy and unattractive even if they are not an oil painting themselves. It dosent get better either because they are looking elsewhere porn number one
@kathpercy79417 ай бұрын
This ! Is totally spot on same in a 30 year narcissistic abusive marriage sexless for decades having to uphold my vows but finding out of a lot of adultery on his part made to feel so insignificant and less than dehumanising me 🤮 still healing from this trauma 🙏
@galaosch99597 ай бұрын
I hear you. And what do we do now, darn it, at this age? 😢
@user-zy8gk2nn7d7 ай бұрын
@@galaosch9959 at least we know - that is a lot.
@splainyourself98117 ай бұрын
Wow, I'm looking through the comments. I am so sorry for all the pain and rejection you have all gone through. God bless each and everyone and heal your broken hearts. ❤
@bls51607 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@katerinadiamanti89417 ай бұрын
Thank you! ....😢
@Prometheuspredator7 ай бұрын
Thank you and God bless you as well.
@laurieeno21187 ай бұрын
Beautiful compassion for strangers. May you be blessed and highly favored. ❤.
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
Remember, they chose all those men.
@Lola541175 ай бұрын
My ex boyfriend is a hidden pansexual. He still is out there lurking for anyone that pleases him, online, video chat, calls and meet up. I did a whole investigation on him myself and the massive amount of things I found was insane and sickening. Narcissist people are super sneaky, but not for the smart ones who will learn their tactics and they get caught.
@elettramia63802 ай бұрын
He’s a predator, that’s exactly what narcissist are, predators
@crystalellis28832 ай бұрын
Sounds exactly like my ex ,,,, I was sooooo disgusted…. Yes he done the same exact thing … and honestly believed he was into men aswell… with his hidden agenda ..
@ST-ik7ry25 күн бұрын
Lucky you didn't have kids with him. Might be a pdf too.
@SilviaMenendez-nd3oz5 күн бұрын
How did you find out. What steps did you take ?
@sw69107 ай бұрын
Narcs are the lousiest lovers.. No wonder
@Blessed5917 ай бұрын
They are terrible . . .
@lovelysosweet83867 ай бұрын
Facts
@evilkitty19947 ай бұрын
They are either the worst or the best. My ex was only good in bed. That's how he kept his supplies coming back.
@debra88837 ай бұрын
Truly, they are. YOu are so right.
@nanny2876 ай бұрын
Yes, they are horrible lovers. There is no “love” in “ lovers.” II’ll call them “sexers,” without sex. It is all about narcissistic control.
@emmadezwaan7 ай бұрын
Sex should not be a reward, but an EXPRESSION of love!!
@suzieyosef62672 ай бұрын
Yesssssssssss
@sonyaholt63237 ай бұрын
Makes sense, porn is really made for men, by men. I survived a narcissist who loved porn, I myself loathe it! Still single five years after escaping narcissist, so happy to be free, barely escaped with my life. I can barely tolerate any company at all now and i purposely deter any man instantly that becomes interested in me. I was an extremely affectionate person once, but now I just want to be left alone
@lmiller14136 ай бұрын
Yes! I'm scared that are men are influenced by this crap.
@stacymethvin34266 ай бұрын
Me too
@nicoleowens23186 ай бұрын
9 years since leaving my abusive, narcissistic husband and i have also stayed single. It was absolutely necessary to heal. I am now at the point where I'm cautiously thinking about dating again. We aren't made to never be touched. I've seen what it's done to a lot of older people who stay alone for decades. They are often depressed, angry, rigid, jumpy, bitter etc.. I realized I've gotten to the point where i "can't" be touched and that's no longer healthy. You have to feel ready though. That takes time. Well I wish you the best and hope you can heal this one day and find someone who treats you with care, the way you should be treated. We all deserve that ❤
@trainertylee34816 ай бұрын
I understand that
@annbow40646 ай бұрын
10 years alone, I agree with all you said.
@lmccroy5 ай бұрын
The narc is the male and female in the relationship! They want to be both . Which leaves no room for the woman in the relationship!
@toriemadeit55452 ай бұрын
Your statement is the most accurate I've read ( in my opinion). I believe that there is a homosexual quality to them that goes hand in hand with the narcissistim- In men and women, only narcissistic women are not as common as men.
@suzieyosef62672 ай бұрын
So powerful what you've said!
@tambourine362 ай бұрын
They only want us for certain things that serve them
@tambourine362 ай бұрын
He wanted me to be home waiting keeping the house clean, cooking and looking after the child
@tambourine362 ай бұрын
He thought that was normal
@QuiteContrary147 ай бұрын
Narcissists are predators. There's no challenge in a woman who seeks or enjoys affection. They want us scared and confused and to give it up reluctantly because he said so.
@debra88837 ай бұрын
Bingo. That is what mine ex- husband did.
@gorunsko317 ай бұрын
Predators they are! They enjoy hunt and winning 😢
@QuiteContrary147 ай бұрын
@@debra8883 I'm just happy to hear you say EX husband. High five to you!
@QuiteContrary147 ай бұрын
@user-mk4or5yu9r Nobody wants that relationship, apparently or otherwise. You missed the section on being duped.
@QuiteContrary146 ай бұрын
@@housecreeper If you mean sweet talk her out of all of her money and investments, take control of it in order to render her helpless, then yes, that is what they do. Narcissists take. Everything from your bank account to your soul. They don't give anything. They give the illusion that they must take over everything in order to "protect" you, until you are helpless and can't protect yourself.
@LynnTrammell7 ай бұрын
My ex exactly. He always left me alone. I think he liked men better.
@Prometheuspredator7 ай бұрын
A good majority of narcissistic men are on the downlow. Women as well.
@carlorizzo8277 ай бұрын
@@Prometheuspredatorthat's interesting, never heard that before. Makes sense, same sex attraction is inherently narcissist since the beloved resembles my mirror image. I'm single, bi, can't pairbond at all. What am i🤣
@littleleafyleaf7 ай бұрын
I truly believe that all covert narcissists are closest gay/bisexuals (I’ve commented this above too that I am by no means saying all gay guys are narcissistic, just that all covert narcs aren’t straight men)
@Merbella6 ай бұрын
They appear bi or gay bc they will accept supply from ANYONE. 😮
@ryanrichards83406 ай бұрын
@@littleleafyleaf Yup Bingo...exactly. They will marry a woman, have kids w/her to hide and pretend. They will lie about their same-sex attraction until they die💯
@kimparke66535 ай бұрын
It's unnatural that a man doesn't want to make love to his wife. My ex husband did this to me. Then he turned our children against me when I wanted out. Thanks for speaking about this, I'm an attractive, slim, and very healthy woman.
@awomanperiod.95072 ай бұрын
Alienating the kids is standard stuff. They are evil.
@tambourine362 ай бұрын
He's sick. And you could have any guy you wanted. He's jealous of you. Get happy and loved somewhere else girl. Hope you escaped
@tambourine362 ай бұрын
I agree. Sick individual @@awomanperiod.9507
@beckymichel18457 ай бұрын
My husband doesn’t want to have sex with me because it’s just one more situation he’d have to be vulnerable.. and that is a no no for him. I don’t take it personal. I’m on my way out 👋🏼
@Prometheuspredator7 ай бұрын
Good for you and please never go back.
@barbarabuttler76476 ай бұрын
You won't regret your decision. I was married for eighteen years to that guy. He's the father of my two, adult, estranged children. I've been married twenty years to a normal guy. We're porn-free and loving it!
@eb10426 ай бұрын
Congrats!!! BE CAREFUL!!!
@revelationishereeverhart88646 ай бұрын
He's an insecure weirdo! #1 rule: don't ever tell an abuser that you are leaving him, because that's usually when they become super violent. Many women never lived to tell.
@Gaby-cq8pr6 ай бұрын
@barbarabuttler7647 why are your children stranged? Did he turnd them against you?
@gvintage6 ай бұрын
This has answered so many questions. Been divorced now since September. We were married 29 years. I could not take this abuse and humiliation any longer.
@MargoJen6 ай бұрын
Same, married 29 years. He has been dragging out the divorce for 3 years. If they can’t control you they toss you aside.
@rowanstarfall3 ай бұрын
dude.....your delivery of these messages is genius. thank you
@trumpeterswan41777 ай бұрын
They are delusional, grandiose, ungrateful, cruel, mocking, berating, abandoning, and seem inhuman. You are a genius, spot on, how do you know this horror story I lived through? Oh youve heard it before.
@bumblebee_ms7 ай бұрын
I think he may have gone thru something similar with his ex-wife.
@cindymcdonnell21196 ай бұрын
Same with me ! But I’m out and no contact with him is the best !
@jenniferbooth26246 ай бұрын
💯
@Oceansgreen5 ай бұрын
No contact is definitely the way to go🎉
@emmathompson64707 ай бұрын
Actually that makes a lot of sense, all my ex wanted was head. There was no affection of any sort. The times he wanted it it lasted 2 minutes. I gave up on sex (menopause) and then was accused of sleeping around. The relationship became violent and I became aware that he was watching a lot of porn and drinking heavily. It took several police call outs before i had the courage to leave. I have a life time protection order and I'm rebuilding my life
@susanfernandez58177 ай бұрын
I had a similar experience. All my husband wanted was for me to mastubate him. This happened very often because he couldn't climax during sex because he would lose the feeling because I was taking too long to get aroused. When I got fed up with this routine and started to refuse to jerk him off, then he would finish in about 1minute. I was the one who eventually gave up on sex and put a stop to it. That was probably the menopause too. He seemed quite happy with the sexless marriage, it made me think that's what he wanted all along he just didn't have the guts to stop it himself completely, he just started to show less and less interest and months would go by with nothing. Then when we did have sex again it was horrible he turned into a two pump chump or was impotent or said he couldn't climax and I had to finish him off. I gave up in the end and now I have left him, thank God.
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
You chose him. It’s your fault
@barbarabuttler76476 ай бұрын
No doubt you always blame the victim. Your response to this post is very judgemental and disgusting.@@omnipotentwiz5101
@Merbella6 ай бұрын
Narcissist has entered the chat 🤮@omnipotentwiz5101
@emmathompson64706 ай бұрын
@@omnipotentwiz5101 I don't need your condemnation. I hope you're never in my position
@shellOceans30835 ай бұрын
God!!! I wish i had you to listen to 30 years ago when in my first marriage. It destroyed me. I shut down my sexuality for the rest of my life to avoid the same pain, abuse, death, and apathy that he caused me to suffer through and barely endure EVERY DAY AND NIGHT FOR 20 SOME YEARS. There was NOBODY back in 1980-1995 to say the truth as you do now. DARN!:(
@amyteurlife94087 ай бұрын
Everyone thinks it's the women who withholds
@gorunsko317 ай бұрын
Thank you for your comment. Exactly. Narcissist is master manipulator. It took me a long time to figure out his game. He hates women. Admitted to treating women as objects. Acts like closet gay. Turns around and shames me for “sexless” marriage. He got stuck in protecting his mommy while also being very angry at her. Tragic figure indeed.
@sandrabuchanan65126 ай бұрын
No, it goes both ways my first and second husband, opposites in personality same basic, narcissist, withholding of love, affection & sex!
@BunnyRabit-yo3lx6 ай бұрын
And counsellors have no training in this. Not the ones I've seen at least.
@Moonotter16 ай бұрын
Actually it's both men and women, narrsasistic women exist out there two, it's funny how you guys bicker at eachother without realizing both are the problem 😂
@JobHuntingAbroad6 ай бұрын
You definitely have both, my father and sister both are narcissists but statistics have shown that its more prevalent in men. @elanah237
@amandawilliams70157 ай бұрын
You have NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL LIKE I’M NOT WORTHLESS ANYMORE!:)
@evilkitty19947 ай бұрын
You are a miracle. You are made precious and are a gift to the world from God himself. He has a plan for you and a purpose for you to make the world a better place. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. Also you're hot as Hell.
@barbarabuttler76476 ай бұрын
It's like a gift from God, feeling validated, finally!
@lmiller14136 ай бұрын
I love how he says that the women who are being denied are drop dead gorgeous. One can spot them a mile away. They are trying so hard to look and be desirable.
@amandawilliams70156 ай бұрын
Yessss!❤
@amandawilliams70156 ай бұрын
Thank you everyone
@munchey995085 ай бұрын
This makes perfect sense. I wish I had never met him.
@LadyEpileptic4 ай бұрын
I pray that he won’t come home anymore. I don’t care about the reason. I just want to be free
@CaliRose19556 ай бұрын
Been married 48 years. Thought something was wrong with me. I read every sex book, tried everything. While he cheated on me. I've had many men come-on to me but I made vows. I flat out told him one day I need you. Your my husband. I need a friend and a lover. He sat there with his arms folded. Not a word. That was the day I closed me down to him. Now years later he's 72 I'm 69 and he says this should be the happiest times of his life. I told him he should've thought of that when he had a wife that gave a crap, im no ones convenience. There's so much more to me than that but now I can barely stand to look at him because of who he really is inside. Hollow and empty has no appeal to me.
@MargoJen6 ай бұрын
That sounds incredibly painful, I’m so sorry.
@Vixinaful6 ай бұрын
Check out "narcissism brain damage" On Google. Their prefrontal cortrex, insula, amygdala, hippocampus AND their right frontal lobe doesnt light up on MRI's. They are severely brain damaged. It wa snever you...Your husband is ill. Really ill.
@sadiamufti88906 ай бұрын
😢😢😢 May Allah (SWT) bless you . And give you all the best life can offer.
@CaliRose19555 ай бұрын
@@MargoJen Yes, he's done alot of damage not only to me but to his children but our focus is no longer on him. We each have relationships with Jesus and we're all healing and we have peace in our hearts and joy that he can't steal. Let me tell you if ever you want to really screw up these people be joyful and happy. They cannot deal with that. Thank you for your caring. Blessings to you.
@CaliRose19555 ай бұрын
@@sadiamufti8890 And God's biggest and most wonderful blessings be poured over you dear. I have found that I'm worth more than words can say to Jesus and my heart belongs to Him. You have a beautiful heart Sadi, you are faithful to God first and He sees your heart and loves your beautiful heart. Thank you for your sweet comment. I'm praying for you also 🌺
@saturdayschild85357 ай бұрын
I wasted my youth on a man like this. He started the denial of affection and sex immediately in the marriage. He called me a nymphomanic for just wanting sex with my husband. Being raised in the church made me stay much longer than I should have. If I had left when I initially thought to, we would not have had kids. Seeing how much having this narcissistic sociopath for a father has harmed them, it would’ve been better for them not to be born to us. It’s not just estrogen fueled, it’s closeted fueled. Found out during the divorce that I was a beard. Get out of these relationships the moment you notice something off. Don’t bother to try to understand. They enjoy wasting your years.
@skyeblu8177 ай бұрын
He is Gay.
@littleleafyleaf7 ай бұрын
YES!!! I’ve been saying this!! ALL COVERT NARCISSIST ARE CLOSETED GAY OR BISEXUALS!! I am NOT say all gay/bi men are narcs, but I am saying actual covert narcissists are!! I’ve had two of them admit to it and suspect others of it, big time!
@claudiaherrera22246 ай бұрын
I totally get you! I got married when I was 20 years old to a monster, that not only saw me as a " thing" but also wasted my youth on that horrendous marriage, always feeling sad, not good enough for anything, never mind his distorted and depraved idea of " love". Still hurts at times, but I keep on reminding myself that all that I went through, has nothing to do with me being " not good enough" but everything to do with the maling emptiness of that monster that once upon a time I called " husband".
@terifigueiredo34116 ай бұрын
Wow I thought I was the only one!
@dollybigmomma6 ай бұрын
I could have written this word for word.
@WhoanellyNone-bp4sk2 ай бұрын
Stay away from anyone that is toxic! Lies to u, cheats on u, is abusive , uses u! If that person isn’t kind then leave! U deserve someone that is grateful to have u in their life and will cherish u! A narc will never get enough! And that is really sad!
@paradisefamilyvlogs34262 ай бұрын
They don't treat women like this until we're trapped in some way (money, kids, housing). And they pick women who r the best prey - no siblings, no family in state, deceased Dad, etc.
@eileenlolmaugh65577 ай бұрын
After 18 years of marriage, discovered that being denied intimacy was interfering with his porn use. How humiliated I was to find that he wanted that more than me
@barbarabuttler76476 ай бұрын
My husband said that it wasn't as much work as having sex. After 18 years, I left. I've been married to a normal guy for twenty blissful years, since. Upside down world is the perfect explanation!
@Merbella6 ай бұрын
All Narc's like porn the most. They get to have sex with thier favorite person...themselves 😮
@lmiller14136 ай бұрын
Yes. We were replaced by this disgusting crap. Men are so silly, they can't see through the nonsense. They actually think women enjoy the stuff they do in these p*rn shows. I have a hard time not hating these women who are in these films. They betrayed us. I finally told him how delusional his gray haired, man boob, no hair on the chest, smelly self really was.
@lmiller14136 ай бұрын
Yes. It is humiliating. And pierces the heart, too.
@stacymethvin34266 ай бұрын
Me too
@kimberlyhoatlin97957 ай бұрын
It’s a BDSM type mentality….control, punishment and reward… ugh 😩 it’s absolutely disgusting. You should never have to earn a sexual reward after tolerating punishment and abuse.
@kat-757 ай бұрын
Shouldn't tolerate that anyway. Sex or not, run!!
@kimberlyhoatlin97957 ай бұрын
@@kat-75 I totally agree. 👍
@ErikLeed7 ай бұрын
@kimberlyhoatlin9795 Maybe its not as black and white as you might think...Aren't women wanting this exact thing that they're reviling? Arent women wanting to be viewed as the sexual prize where culturally its normal that women use it for control, punishment and reward? Perhaps you're probably right, in the context of a male dominant narcissistic relationship its absolutely disgusting. But, if a woman is being narcissistic, and using it as control, punishment and reward, isn't that absolutely disgusting too?
@denisedevoto57037 ай бұрын
Not like sex with them is a reward anyway. Worst sex ever!
@shirleychandler27806 ай бұрын
In a BDSM arrangement it is the sub who holds the power. You should read up on it .
@lordbealampontomyfeet92455 ай бұрын
Been married for 17 years and this sounds a lot like my husband. I’m mortified.
@jShadowtigress5 ай бұрын
Same 17 years of feeling never good enough and neglected yet all attention on other hoes
@yvettebravo3475 ай бұрын
Run!
@childofchrist76257 ай бұрын
My Narc Husband whom calls himself a "True Christian" & "Nearly Perfect" asked me if I would fulfill a fantasy of his ... he requested I sleep with his friend while he watched & then he join in after his friend finished!!! 🤢🤮 Ofcourse I refused... Days later, I brought it up on how it made me feel that he would desire that of me... he flipped the script & said "That was YOUR fantasy... YOU requested that" 👀 proceeded to say HE was shocked by it!!🤦♀️ And yes... he's a porn addict😞
@FancyTruth17 ай бұрын
They are soulless
@GailTscherrig7 ай бұрын
im so sorry
@bonnielewin85207 ай бұрын
Sounds like he felt shame but didn't want to feel shame so he tried to shame you instead.
@childofchrist76257 ай бұрын
@@bonnielewin8520 Yes, like any typically Covert Narcissist .. even when I haven't been in his presence, I haven't seen or spoken to him... somehow I did it, said it, took it, moved it, thought it etc etc🤦♀️Like If HE gets stopped for speeding, gains weight or is late for an appointment .. it's ALWAYS MY FAULT 🤯 If we have different opinions on a matter which is OFTEN .. If my opinion ends up being right? He takes the credit & was the one with THAT opinion 🤷♀️ He's the text book of a Covert, Vulnerable Narcissist!
@childofchrist76257 ай бұрын
@@bonnielewin8520 Yes, he is your typical Narcissist. Even when I haven't been in his presence, spoken to him or seen him. Somehow, I did it, said it, thought it, moved it, took it etc etc 🤦♀️ If he gets stopped for speeding, gains weight, is late for an appointment its ALWAYS MY FAULT!🤷♀️ If we have a different opinion on a matter which is OFTEN.. & my opinion turns out correct? HE takes the credit & was the one with THAT opinion🙄 I could on & on.... He is the definition of a Vulnerable, Covert Narcissist!☠🤢🤮
@wendyhutchinson58206 ай бұрын
This was my ex husband. He was a narcissist. But I gotta take accountability for my part. I definitely put him up on a pedestal. I did it with a man I fell in love with a few years ago too. Point is, I FINALLY, learned my lesson. You cannot put someone on a pedestal above yourself and have a good outcome. Never again.
@bsktcaz12185 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. I was starting to worry that this was my fault. I love this man, but i won't stay.
@sarahhale-pearson5337 ай бұрын
Being denied affection and emotional intimacy, emotionally abused and neglected, but expected to submit willingly to being subjected to gross and demeaning sex acts, on schedule, is soul destroying and deeply wounding. I honestly think it has ruined sex for me….
@duckdodgers26476 ай бұрын
Same! I've been sleeping in the living room with the dogs on the couch because of it. I sleep so much better but I do miss my bed. I just can't sleep in the same room with him anymore. I'm always afraid of getting molested right after falling asleep. Being forced to have s3x when I'm so tired & had just fallen asleep. Then he gets mad at me for not enjoying it!
@lmiller14136 ай бұрын
Me too. It's humiliating.
@jacquelynsharp93546 ай бұрын
Im54 and I feel ya sister I'm hot but I'm about done trying find a husband, ex here abuses me it's horrible if I wasn't in wheelchair now I'd be gone homeless instead of here with barely walls,
@vulturewaterbug6 ай бұрын
I don't think I'll ever heal either. Hopefully this is an early stage of recovering. Good luck.
@idid1386 ай бұрын
@@duckdodgers2647 it's especially not fun, when you've been molested as a child.
@Kklewis22236 ай бұрын
They aren’t good lovers to begin with.
@shannonbrowe38705 ай бұрын
LMAO 🤣 🤣 😂 I KNOW AND THAT'S THE CRAZY PART!!!!
@carlamitchell4665 ай бұрын
They aren't They want love and affection but they're not willing to give it
@AnemicRoyaltyRX5 ай бұрын
Oh my God tell me about it! They will literally make you not want to have sex with them They're so unpleasant even in bed. 😂
@tammymonti22835 ай бұрын
This! 😂😂😂 and I told him so! The look on his face!
@minastern75015 ай бұрын
Narcissists have no emotions no feelings at all period!
@kimmie61385 ай бұрын
I was happy when he didn't want sex from me. He got to where he disgusted me. I've been away from him for several yrs now, and can't imagine being romantic with any man, that man destroyed me.
@Hatbox9483 ай бұрын
That's how I feel now too. I'm done.
@joyskye7903 ай бұрын
So sorry about that
@paradisefamilyvlogs34262 ай бұрын
I understand the first part of what u said-completely disgusted by who he wants to b in his life, evil. The second part, i don't want his evil to rob me of anymore fun & enjoyment in my life.
@dollybigmomma6 ай бұрын
OMG, this makes so much sense. He literally used to slap my hands away if I tried to touch him and acted like he was doing me a favor for even allowing it when he did. However, he was all in on the porn and gave all his attention and effort for that. I think men who rely on porn like that are also lazy lovers. They can just lay back and work a hand instead of having to actually do anything that would work for a live partner. It's pathetic.
@lynda655873 ай бұрын
It seems that men are emotionally damaged by the porn that they love to take part in themselves, but get very hurt by the thought of the woman they love, doing the same. Its the usual double standards thing, that men try to impose on women. The thought that a woman might want sex, makes some men sick. They secretly think women are hoars if they want proper intimacy. It is very sad that they are like little boys witholding their toys and refusing to give their wives pleasure. In the case of girlfriends wanting sex, fine, a self respecting man should withold, but a wife has chosen to trust her husband to provide for her wellbeing, not abuse her with coldness and punishment, from his own perverse misconceptions. They will withold from the one they love and go out and use some unwanted woman, or masturbate, rather than show themselves as a needy and vulnerable and loveable man. It is not difficult to understand why they are messed up,. As most women dont wait till they are married and therefore the man wont trust her. If hes marrying a hoar, he will be trying all sorts of ways to avoid becoming her victim, as he knows she is no better than himself, is usually the case.
@lorimiller72617 ай бұрын
My marriage with my narc ex husband was transactional. No connection just sick and abnormal behavior. I’m finally free and healing from the damage ❤
@lasttyme27487 ай бұрын
❤hope to be like you someday, you said it, spot on! Helps when others tell they got out, hope is down the road.
@stephthomas22477 ай бұрын
THIS! Everything was transactional! 😞🙄
@cindymcdonnell21196 ай бұрын
Same
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
Who chose him?
@NanaWilson-px9ij6 ай бұрын
@impotent, Troll
@v4756nb1rs5 ай бұрын
This video has changed everything for me, especially the part about taking care of themselves in the shower rather than being with a real, live wife who loves him. I feel so disgusting and ugly constantly...😔Would be very interested in videos on how to cope when you can't leave just yet...maybe you could consider making a video about this? Thanks for your content. This is truly helpful. I feel a lot less crazy now.
@Kklewis22236 ай бұрын
If a man is making me ask for it… no thanks I’m gonna go garden or read a book.
@samramajeed53156 ай бұрын
Hahah 😂 cool
@mandymckeown86255 ай бұрын
Id go and get it elsewhere though I was bought up by a narc 😂😂😂
@SusiB1234 ай бұрын
Crocheting 🧶 is better than sex with a narc 😅
@yvonnenepooserich30203 ай бұрын
My ex narc was a porn addict and he cheated and lived out those porn videos with multiple women he was cheating I ended up dumping him
@dlyteeats38683 ай бұрын
Same
@LindaStokes-ff2kv7 ай бұрын
Been in a sexless marriage before with a narcissist. No communication, affection either. But caught him having affair with a "just friends " married friend of his. I not only left but ran .
@luxbeauty49527 ай бұрын
Omg never accept men with male minded lady friends
@pallasathena13697 ай бұрын
I was engaged to him, otherwise same story... The "just a friend" was as nasty and downgrade as him. The most painful and shocking situation in my life.
@luxbeauty49527 ай бұрын
@@pallasathena1369 don’t accept men with women friends
@debra88837 ай бұрын
Good for you.
@debra88837 ай бұрын
Divorce his hide, if you can.
@francescakolbjornsen65163 ай бұрын
WoW 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 everything make sense now . I’m now traumatized sexually. I don’t want anyone near me now , I was so affectionate and loving. He made me feel useless and unattractive 😢
@artgirl13392 ай бұрын
Being with a narc aged me so much when i was with him. Before i was naturally beautiful. The stress and anxiety he caused almost killed me. And now that I'm single i look good again.
@biondna79846 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video and your kind encouragement. I was married 24 years to a narcissist, divorced now 18 years. I had my own guilt for being a practicing alcoholic for 21 of those years. I'm 21 years sober now. Most of the marriage I just thought he was a severely immature individual, unable to learn from his mistakes and grow up. He told me he finished fast in sex because he resented that I didn't seem to want him, so didn't want to give me pleasure. I thought: fair enough, you're right, I don't want you. There was nothing arousing to me about an entitled, whiny child who blames everyone else for their unending difficulties and thought sex was a service I owed him. My second (late) husband was a self-made alpha who made me feel safer than I've ever felt in my life. We were constantly affectionate, and sex was magnificent and frequent, big surprise. He healed me; I'm 70, fit and active, and hope to meet one more happy companion.
@revelationishereeverhart88646 ай бұрын
Did the last relationship end? And if so, why?
@candypalladino13486 ай бұрын
@@revelationishereeverhart8864 She stated her Alpha male, 2nd (late) husband. He passed away. 🙏 Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth Bless You all and Keep You Safe 🙏
@tropicaoptica5 ай бұрын
Love hearing about your second husband! Gives me hope!
@biondna79845 ай бұрын
@@tropicaoptica Wishing us both all joys.
@yvettebravo3475 ай бұрын
Good luck 🍀 Wish you the best🙏
@arcallender53426 ай бұрын
Pornography has RUINED LIVES… some people can’t take it….
@monski805 ай бұрын
Wow....I'm not alone ....😢
@joanschannel94595 ай бұрын
No one should take it
@GirlWhat745 ай бұрын
THANK YOU!!
@tylerarnold9435 ай бұрын
It has also saved marriages
@varietypack49794 ай бұрын
My husband's porn addiction left him needing boner pills to stand at attention before he was 35 yrs old.
@anniethompson1041Ай бұрын
This is so frickin smart. So so true. Thanks for the clarity royal dude.
@marysaelidor76927 ай бұрын
The lack of intimacy, friendship hurts the most; any time you meet a kind person, their actions and words resonate in you…normal and kind become exceptional and personal…
@maylenevaux89667 ай бұрын
Wow
@lapantera87 ай бұрын
Why is this so called life coach is dressed as a pimp? And what’s up with the cigar? What is he selling? You look ridiculous bro. The that chair 😖
@gorunsko317 ай бұрын
Exactly. Also kindness of others exposes my depravation 😢
@merandaolson18696 ай бұрын
Best comment ever! So true! Being around warm blooded people make you feel what you are missing.
@gorunsko316 ай бұрын
@@merandaolson1869 exactly
@AnnetteChiniquy6 ай бұрын
I was married for twenty six years to that guy. I always felt like his mommy/daddy issues were the cause of him being the biggest jerk in my life. Best wishes to anyone suffering through someone else's agony. ❤❤❤
@CountrysideandLiving6 ай бұрын
My Narc told me many times that his mum would do a better job in everything, including looking after our children, cooking, cleaning, being religious,...mama dearest
@sweetsholland5 ай бұрын
Thank you for this informative video...No longer feel alone in this... You nailed it!
@parfecto77166 ай бұрын
I was married for 7 years to an asshole, he refused sex right at the beginning of the marriage. I was a virgin, I was confused and felt ugly, worthless and nothing but a woman. I luckily woke up and left him and I started to enjoy my life and I transformed my mind and soul. We are survivers, ladies! Stop wasting your precious time, it never comes back!
@kssgpv6 ай бұрын
i think i never wasted my time because i avoid men, no man is the solution..
@janefromtennessee5 ай бұрын
True
@hajira50133 ай бұрын
It could be erectile dysfunction too but they date other woman had girlfriends did love others in the past or fancy
@ZaZa-nm6sw3 ай бұрын
He was obviously not playing for our team..😂
@neffy23982 ай бұрын
They compartmentalise
@1FantasticDreamBird7 ай бұрын
I thought it was really weird how every morning he would walk around the room with a hard on, stand in front of the mirror, stand in front of the window. Make plans to do it- no show every time. I finally told him that I needed him to romance me. Eight years later, still nothing. The thought of the emotional abuse is sickening. He said, "hey how about we do it?" I replied, "you have to romance me." I told him I was going to get a lover on the side until he was serious. He said nothing. I told "him there is no intimacy anywhere in our marriage, no depth." He agreed. He knows exactly what he is doing. There is no room for anyone else but himself.
@Blessed5917 ай бұрын
You will be waiting forever . . . Better run while you can . Don't waste your sexually active years . . . He is definitely getting it outside . Ditch his game .
@Vstar876 ай бұрын
This is what my narc would do except he would thrust his groin area towards me so pathetic
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
@@lorrainesmith.4995if there’s no sex and it’s still cold sheets in your second married then it’s your fault. You just have not found out why it is and no one is bold enough to tell you this truth.
@NanaWilson-px9ij6 ай бұрын
@impotent, You are a shaming troll. We see through your BS Begone.
@idid1386 ай бұрын
@@omnipotentwiz5101 dudes are addicted to porn it's an epidemic that is killing normal intimacy. She just may be attracting the same type of man. You don't know.
@Love-j8y5 ай бұрын
I’m so happy God pulled me away from my ex. I was with him for almost 9 years of complete HELL..finally I was fed up and I walked away with my kids and it was the best decision I ever made.
@reneehouser29256 ай бұрын
It's a miracle I'm alive, not in prison, or a mental health facility. I have overcome and moved on from decades of such terrible sadistic abuse. If I can do it, so can you! I always knew it wasn't me, I just couldn't change my hostage situation. Life is good now, I am free. I thank God daily for every day I am free.
@Emily_Paris2 ай бұрын
Freedom is good.
@michellerutt66837 ай бұрын
Finally confirmation , after years of wondering what was wrong with me. I’m not qualified to say, however, for the last few years I have suspected Porn addiction was the root cause. So hurtful, heartbreaking. Thank you.
@janetmcbee5 ай бұрын
OShit, you're the first that has said this. Thank you!
@mysticswalk30867 ай бұрын
I feel there is also the component of a wife no longer chased by other men because she's married.. She is following her commitment, but it turns the male off. Some of them want a woman who is wanted and chased by other men. It makes them feel superior to other men when they win her affection. If the competition isn't there their desire isn't there.
@RGB758Y7 ай бұрын
Nope that's female thinking, men get used to the same woman and it turns me off, it's called the Coolidge Effect.
@barbarabuttler76476 ай бұрын
Excellent point!!!!!
@BNyaB6 ай бұрын
Sick!!! 😳
@Merbella6 ай бұрын
True, but that's an immature way to operate. If the woman has to flirt with other men all the time, what's the point?
@lmiller14136 ай бұрын
Spot on. And watch him try for a bit, if she has one foot out the door, until the competition is gone. Let's hope women can stay their course once a new man starts chasing, and stay gone, and not get hoovered back..
@Flyfenix-l3u7 ай бұрын
That video with 4 reasons You did, was the key for me to discover that I have been in relationship with a narc for 29 years......We are divorced after 2 months of my discovery, now 6 months. Healing process has begun.
@mayazayzo2 ай бұрын
I remember simply asking him for a hug and he just stared at me like oh yeah, I'm in control here.
@rockinrollin83067 ай бұрын
In any way, they can demean women. They will do it! They get off on it. Pun intended, lol. It's all about power and control.
@lasttyme27487 ай бұрын
🤣we can still laugh, they can't take anymore
@kssgpv6 ай бұрын
exactly, men are misogynists, most of them
@Ottomanewfiemix7 ай бұрын
I was with mine for 37 years. He didn't have sex with me often because he wanted to keep it tight!! Yep. Every 5-7 weeks if I was lucky! We dated 6 years and it was pretty normal. Totally changed when we married! He passed away 3 years ago. I am damaged goods now. No clue how to date after 37 years and I am terrified that I will end up with another one. - He was a sadistic narcissist! So evil!
@WalksfortheSoul776 ай бұрын
You are not damaged goods. HE was damaged goods. It might take some time to heal, but you can learn about narcissism, all the patterns, all the types, covert, vulnerable, etc and then you can go out in the world and meet a kind, affectionate man. You can learn the signs to avoid the narcs when you come across them. And of course work on building your own self-worth and boundaries. Anyway, I understand you, I think the same way some days. But today I feel more hopeful. You are NOT damaged goods. You are just healing from massive abuse.
@lindageiling59226 ай бұрын
Do u really want another man after 37 yrs , 🤔 today it seems most men r really damaged. I think porn n dating sites have alot to do with it, it's easy to move on to the next n the next n cheat .
@Starlightbarking6 ай бұрын
It’s perfectly ok to be alone for a season to seek healing and restoration. If you do decide to return to dating in the future please be reassured that you will be very aware of the red flags which warn you of abusive behaviour, once you re-learn to trust your intuition.
@princessp19636 ай бұрын
Please be careful how you address yourself. We can't know the nightmare you went through but your healing begins when you acknowledged that you not only survived but outlived your abuser. If anything you are a fighter, friend.
@Vixinaful6 ай бұрын
@@WalksfortheSoul77 Best comment you could ever get gurl, right here ^ Thank you for telling her. She is NOT damaged, she will RISE again!
@Babu-kr3cr7 ай бұрын
They can't enjoy something together with someone else. They have to be number one and dominating. The only thing they like is the control. They will pretend to like you, but if you get something from it, that turns them off. They want to be the only one gaining. I don't know if it is estrogen dominant, but it is pretty gay.
@sadiamufti88907 ай бұрын
Soooooo true
@bumblebee_ms7 ай бұрын
I agree.
@Portia6207 ай бұрын
😂😂🥂
@heide-raquelfuss55807 ай бұрын
I think you are right.😢
@Prometheuspredator7 ай бұрын
Alot of narcissistic men are on the downlow. I hope you know what that means.
@cyndiwilliams41776 ай бұрын
Exactly my life for 33 years. I finally got out and I am happy alone and not living in confusion, gaslighting, fear, rejection, and abuse anymore.
@h20pixiedustforsleep465 ай бұрын
I was married for 23 years to a monster who denied me sex for most of our marriage, gave me the silent treatment for an entire year, was addicted to porn, and cheated on me regularly. Finally, I found the courage to leave. He moved on immediately with his mistress, who became his 2nd wife, soon after we divorced. He's her problem now. Good riddance.
@oilselevated48084 ай бұрын
33 years here also, went from crappy to none. He’s dead now and I haven’t been this happy in years
@janellegennovario3 ай бұрын
Thats so good you were able to leave! Im happier alone away from that monster
@sylvia53613 ай бұрын
@@oilselevated4808this was my life he’s dead now 4 years on my own loving life.
@janievalentine59164 ай бұрын
Another reason to stay happily single ❤ In a relationship with myself, for the foreseeable ❤
@jessicahoskins86062 ай бұрын
Same!!🎉❤
@leeann54427 ай бұрын
I have my own theory as to why the narcissist I was in a relationship with stopped being intimate/having sexual relations with me (but still having sex with who only knows) ... Its because he turned me into this "mother" figure that he could put on a pedestal and have respect for, and as most of us should know, its a moral sin to have those types of relations/feelings with your "mother" ... I would ask him for a simple hug, and he would swat my arms away like his "mommy" shouldnt be pressed against him like that ... the expression on his face was something straight out an Alfred Hitchcock movie, as if he has done it before with his real mother ... I could literally write a book, as I'm sure, we all can ... ultimately though the rejection is really our protection and I can live with that
@katerinadiamanti89417 ай бұрын
This resonates with me...the freudian "madonna/whore complex".
@room333rd7 ай бұрын
I had a friend I became friends with out of nowhere. She told me she ended her relationship with a man she called "chester the molester". Many of these narcissistic male or sometimes females are into prostitutes 🥴. Praise God such a person is out of your life.
@BJB11227 ай бұрын
You're not going to be like one of those boys are you? Norma Bates, Psycho
@gorunsko317 ай бұрын
I hear you so well. Sam Vaknin ( has KZbin channel) explains how narc is a child, not separated from his mother yet. He will romance first a woman he selected to be his mother figure, so he can finish his separation process. Never really works this way. Like a little boy, he will idealize first, than at the slightest disappointment, he will abuse his partner in the name of punishing his biological mother. This never stops, because he is not fully conscious of this. Nevertheless, the abuse and suffering we experience as a punching bag, is still devastating. Best wishes snd ❤ to you and all partners of narcissists, but especially covert ones.
@leeann54427 ай бұрын
@@gorunsko31 I consider myself to be a pretty level headed person, but have you ever found yourself questioning whether "The Exorcist" is really a work of fiction😂😂 I swear, my ex reminds me of a modern-day Norman Bates EXCEPT he falls on the "milder" end of the spectrum, whereas he was never violent and hardly ever cursed, although there were times, I swear, I thought he was possessed ... thankfully for all of us, that narc playbook never changes or gets updated, and that's why we will always WIN because they simply are not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually equipped to deviate from the playbook😂😂
@amberp52077 ай бұрын
I’ve been in a sexless marriage since the beginning of 2018 when I got pregnant w/mine & my husband’s child. I blamed myself bc I was pregnant and my belly was growing. Then I blamed myself bc I was overweight postpartum. Well, I had the baby. I lost all the weight. I worked on listening to therapists to be the best I could be. I cried & pleaded w/my husband about how hurt I felt and that my self esteem, amongst other things were in the toilet. He always had some lame excuse. It’s now 2024 and I’m still in the same boat. I stay to b a full time mother to our daughter who has some special needs. Every time we go out together, random people r always complimenting me. I’ve realized that it’s not me…FINALLY!!! It’s so cruel. All he cares about is himself.
@Blessed5916 ай бұрын
I wish you could leave . . . Otherwise he will waste your youth . . . And he will not change . . .
@BNyaB6 ай бұрын
Ruuuun!! 🏃🏃
@Merbella6 ай бұрын
Leave. He will destroy you and your kid.
@Saucysauce20206 ай бұрын
Girl its your fault now because you know all this and still won't leave him girl work on yourself put your foot down and let him know you will leave if he doesn't change so work on your body beauty mental and financial so you can find someone else and not feel insecure like he's the only men in the world
@NanaWilson-px9ij6 ай бұрын
Please don't use the word "fault." Do you know about trauma bonding? It's like brainwashing..... Yes, she doesn't deserve his cruel abuse. As she learns more about the narcissistic manipulation and trauma bonding she may finally be able to leave.
@cybermom4124 күн бұрын
Thank you Kevin. 🌷 This is an area with such little illumination. Speaking for me, believing literally " I am the weaker vessel therefore he must be right" . I intuitively knew something was 'off' yet I could not cognitively or spiritually balance or make sense of this. Thank you for exposing the myth/lie and for rephrasing the truth in a way that helps me continue to remove the strange tint on my eyes and gives me pause, to reposition my 'flashlight ' toward a real stepping stone that upholds me long enough for the next unknown step.🌷
@saradwyer24516 ай бұрын
Narcissists are married to themselves and their spirit spouse is Jezabel….
@Wayoutgurl6 ай бұрын
Woww!!!! Whoaaa!! 😆 Interesting!!
@shellylavigne59135 ай бұрын
Yep. Had that, did that, done with that.
@saradwyer24515 ай бұрын
@@shellylavigne5913 me too lol
@momthebomb51335 ай бұрын
Whoa. Spot on
@14margott5 ай бұрын
Yeah and her incarnation is his fanatical heretical so-called christian moma. Who used the Bible to emasculate him and turn him into her nurse, servant and echo.
@kmad4peacetv4566 ай бұрын
Run run run run run run run run run run run from those types...this behavior will mess you up psychologically!
@SeraphinaMarti5 ай бұрын
This explains so much for so many women, who are the jerks teaching this to men? I gave up on dating because I kept running into these guys.
@DeshaunTellez7 ай бұрын
You have a new subscriber! I was in a sexless marriage for 12 long years. Fit, smart, feminine, caring and hardworking. Nothing made him desire normal sex.
@littleleafyleaf7 ай бұрын
If he was a covert narc then you were likely his “beard”. They pick beautiful women to mask as straight when they are actually in the closet or at least bisexual. I have been a “beard” three times!
@debra88837 ай бұрын
Dump him as fast as you can.
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
@@littleleafyleafif you’ve been a beard 3 times, it shows you’ve got a very poor sense of judgement in selecting romantic partners. Blame no one else.
@littleleafyleaf6 ай бұрын
@@omnipotentwiz5101 is this comment the epitome of “victim blaming” or what ha
@omnipotentwiz51016 ай бұрын
@@littleleafyleaf teach people to take ownership of their lives. If you keep on picking narcs or jerks... newsflash, you’re the common denominator here. It’s your fault for picking them. We l*dies need to do better. Ownership and accountability is key. It stops bs. We are adults. Do better.
@thehippydippywitchy16916 ай бұрын
They get off on the power and control. So very much like the sexual predator that we are more used to seeing depicted. It's not about sex to them. It's about power. Was married to one for 25 years and sexless for 22 of them. As soon as I took my power back and refused to rely on him for anything - and I mean anything - he lost all control over me and I've been free of him for two years now. Should have done it 20 years ago. Ladies, don't put up with it. As long as you do, you are giving him power over you and it won't end.
@suzieyosef62672 ай бұрын
It doesn't end until you get them completely out of your life
@janef470110 күн бұрын
I’ve watched many dating coaches and psychologists speak about narcissism. I have questioned my ex’s narcissism for months… Living in denial and trying to find any reason I could be wrong. However, you were the first one to make it all very clear to me. There is no denying the cruel narcissism of my ex when I listen to you. I find the way you speak so empowering to me, a sensual, sensitive, loving woman. I think you’re so right that narcissists Reverse the roles…how very unnatural. I am now going to binge your videos lol. Thank you for sharing your incredible insights and encouragement!!
@lauriejordan27167 ай бұрын
What this results in is the woman cheating with someone else. After 2 years of not touching me, I cheated. He was actually shocked. Like what did he think, would live like that forever???
@evilkitty19947 ай бұрын
Yes. Narcs see us like appendages. It's shocking to them when their arm acts on its own against permission.
@322Mermaid6 ай бұрын
They slow honey. I had to wake my husband UP....I left with the baby and promised him I wouldn't put up with NONSENSE. We are good now....he figured it out
@Galatians8726 ай бұрын
Same
@MelModica5 ай бұрын
Exactly! I dealt with an alcoholic that I think may be a narc. He would with hold sex and affection and always accuse me of talking to other men even though I wasn’t and after a while it made me question myself even though I never cheated on anyone and the lack of affection and emotional support was too much after years and I did want to talk to other men, I met a guy guy that made me feel like I wasn’t a ghost and I cheated once and I’m not happy either way cause I can’t even let my guard down and I don’t think I can ever trust anyone again. I wasn’t sure if my partner was secretly gay but I think his alcoholism is a huge factor but I had never heard of men and narcs with holding sex from their partners and most of us can’t talk about it or get advice so we just stay and suffer silently!
@lauriejordan27165 ай бұрын
I am so sorry all of you ladies also had to deal with that. I truly pray you are all in a healthy happy place now.
@annette19827 ай бұрын
Delusions of grandeur = I am the reward. I get it, it goes with their feelings of grandiosity.
@joymartina5 ай бұрын
This allowed me to understand at a really deep level. Thank you!
@sirenachantal4717 ай бұрын
He made comments about other women and how they deserved sex, based on how they looked. No action for years. It took me too long but I’m over it and on my way out.
@revelationishereeverhart88646 ай бұрын
Don't ever tell an abuser that you are leaving him...many women never lived to tell.
@happycamper35617 ай бұрын
After dating for a few years and seeing this truly depraved and sick behavior from even so called “Christian” men, I am happily 42 and single 4 life. I love Jesus Christ and my life is complete following Him.
@Valleygirl667 ай бұрын
Men think with their penis and wallet I got fed up🎉no more🎉
@Owlbutterfly7 ай бұрын
They ain't Christian if it was like that
@tricialafrancerougas6 ай бұрын
My ex was “Christian” as well… quoted scripture at me to control me if we disagreed about something… I’ve learned there are people who claim to be Christians but don’t have the fruit of being a Christian. I’ve learned to ask deeper questions on their beliefs and not just to go by outward appearance. People can set up things to look good on the outside but be terrible on the inside. My ex husband can have my virginity and 8 of the worst months of my life. When you know what hurts someone and you intentionally do it and don't have remorse when you do wrong, that is not evidence of a genuine believer. Praying you find healing and open your heart to be loved correctly some day! 🫶🏼
@Owlbutterfly6 ай бұрын
@@tricialafrancerougas yeah on dating apps there are men that say they are catholic on their profile but it says taken or that they are into fwb and polygamy . on the dating app I been on then all the guys that say catholic on their profile are the same as the ones that say atheist !!! . wow ...tired of the crap
@NanaWilson-px9ij6 ай бұрын
Remember, the devil had the nerve to quote scripture to Jesus. Anyone can quote scripture. I'm glad you got away and are doing so well.
@jordanlennox54355 ай бұрын
Honestly, this issue of what is essentially about control is not only for wives…sadly, it is for the vast majority of women.. there are a lot of broken boys out here who chose to function like trash and try to take amazing women down with them. It’s a sad day in this age we are in.
@tobbiehaynes83807 ай бұрын
Ladies were not alone. 😢
@Maricel-ot4eu5 ай бұрын
😢😢😢it hit me so hard
@joanncoopertroupe35064 ай бұрын
This stuff Is Awful.
@artbygilik2 ай бұрын
I had no idea so many dealt with the same things I went through. Because of this person I lost all desire for romance and relationships, while he’s out there flirting with women who have no idea what’s coming
@arwenperea7 ай бұрын
They want you to truly idolize them as God- and marriage that becomes a form of idolatry must end. You do not need a male medium to be favored by God or hear his voice. These were my own false beliefs, but I spiritually feel more pure now single and prioritizing the Holy Spirit over some dude and what he said God told him. No more idolatry.
@venesha717 ай бұрын
I agree!Celibate for years now and i'm at peace!The Lord removed the soul tie i had to him.
@An_Gha_7 ай бұрын
He told me directly that if there was no God then the husband will be the God to her wife.
@Prometheuspredator7 ай бұрын
Amen. Been celebate for 10 years and it staying that way. I am done.
@Times-of-Jonah5 ай бұрын
After my divorce, I heard internally,like a sudden understanding, "don't make a man your God." And finally I could see.
@emilyhunter85072 ай бұрын
You said it perfectly. It’s idolatry being with a narc I knew it and still sinned to get it
@shannonbrowe38705 ай бұрын
I'm going through that now my husband hasn't touched me in 14 years. He claims he doesn't cheat, but I don't believe his lies because he lies all the time. I'm in the middle of getting a divorce now.
@Maricel-ot4eu5 ай бұрын
Im sorry to hear that 😢
@shannonbrowe38705 ай бұрын
@Maricel-ot4eu Thank you! People like you make it a little easier. Thank you for your kindness 🙏
@MarianneKunitz77776 ай бұрын
Your 100% correct Kevin. I was married to a narcissistic man like that. I divorced him on the grounds that he wasn't intimate with me for 2 years! He was humiliated by that. His friends all said I was too much woman for him. You have grounds for divorce if he refuses intimacy for over 3 to 5 months. Let me add he was unfaithful to me and even told me so. It's was wonderful to divorce him.
@brandismith6765 ай бұрын
Is that grounds legally for divorce? withholding intimacy
@MarianneKunitz77775 ай бұрын
@@brandismith676 Yes absolutely. In New York State it is. I divorced my husband on those grounds. When you don't share sex with your spouse divorce is easy!
@katrinayoung75775 ай бұрын
What?! Grounds for divorce… oh my. Let me tell you that you are able to divorce for any reason. How can any legal system continue to gaslight women by saying they need a “valid” reason or “grounds for”. In Australia you can divorce simply because you want to. What a controlling system no you can’t divorce because you don’t have “grounds” a bet a narc made that rule
@GraceLivingston-fo3vn4 ай бұрын
@@brandismith676 it is also biblical grounds for divorce, multiple examples throughout scripture, and commands in both old and new testaments to not deprive one another of marital intimacy, specifically, men were judged by God for this. Even unto death. The incredibly odious pride involved is an offense to God, as is the rebellion against his design and creation, as is the adultery nearly always involved intimacy anorexia towards a wife.
@MsBrooklyn623 ай бұрын
NC is a no-fault state so they don't care why you want a divorce they just make you wait 1 year and 1 day before you can file.
@oneeyeeye47826 ай бұрын
My narcissistic gay,bi live in boyfriend for 9 years ,didn’t break my heart,e broke my Soul,all I ask is who ever is in charge of this 🌎 to expose these Demons, Beautiful Ladies out there,don’t give up on Love or Sex,If you haven’t broken the chain yet,BREAK It ,sending LOVE to all you beautiful souls out there love❤
@rhonaanderson38205 ай бұрын
❤
@AAOFIT3 ай бұрын
❤
@patriciarye-si4zj3 ай бұрын
Hi ,I Like Your Video ,Your So Supportive Towards Women & More,Your Amazing Thank You ,Wa State
@Blessed5917 ай бұрын
Oh no . . .. At the start of the marriage he said I had too much sexual energy for him to cope up with . Then for the next 23 years of my life I kept asking . . . Rarely got anything and when it came it was lousy . . . I thought I would go crazy . . . Then I am the faithful type So I sat n waited , got tired and left . . .but many times I felt like he was secretly gay and or was gay but didn't realise it . . .
@lovepeacejoyhappiness7 ай бұрын
You're onto something there. I think MANY of these narcs are secretly gay, or pedos, and they just want that mommy in the house. Or they secretly hate women because of their mommy issues, and want one around to abuse and then go off and get with men. Very easy to withhold sex to your wife when you're gay....
@jennymowery796 ай бұрын
They realize it trust me
@desireereyes90436 ай бұрын
I think the same of mine he’s texting his friend all day. He sends him pictures of the cat. He tells him what he’s doing every step of the day., it’s suspect to me
@Tigers_Eye_Lady6 ай бұрын
Misogyny maybe too
@missyv95816 ай бұрын
@@jennymowery79I agree. They know. I married mine in 1989 before easily available porn. I was young and a virgin when we married. He would bring me home Playgirl magazines. He said so I could see what other men look like. I was so naive. They were for him.
@seeUnique17 ай бұрын
WoW! You nailed it! Narcs are sick individuals for sure!!
@nicolecottom41825 ай бұрын
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen! This used to be me, but not anymore! Thank you so very much!
@lulumoon69427 ай бұрын
*WE HAVE TO INOCULATE OUR CHILDREN AGAINST SUCH PREDATORS WITH CAPACITY AND SELF CONFIDENCE!* 🙏 From a child and adult survivor, AND a longtime former DV Advocate
@firelily776 ай бұрын
Ive been married for 19 years and havent had sex with him since 2015. In 19 years I can count somewhere between maybe 25-50 times total. Ive cheated on him multiple times. I used to feel bad but we dont have a real marriage where we talk and share and dream together. Nope its just about paying the bills and nothing more. Ive never felt so empty with another person. I just dont make the money to support myself alone and I have noone to take me in. Im still trying and ill never stop trying to leave. I lost the best years of my life to a sexless, covert narcissist.
@Wayoutgurl6 ай бұрын
You mean you got some 25-50 ?? You did good! Ask me how I know. I hear you loud and clear on everything you said! ❤
@guidinglightorphansinc.52556 ай бұрын
My exact years, exact times, exact situation but am on my way
@guidinglightorphansinc.52556 ай бұрын
Keep looking there's free help out there.
@Gaby-cq8pr6 ай бұрын
He know you don't have the financial stability to live on your own that is why he does that to you I'm kind of in the same situation where my financial doesn't allow me to live on my own
@debbiandrews19814 ай бұрын
Damn. Relatable as F. I'm now actually LIVING my life after his discard, and he's amazingly regretting his actions. Too late now! 🤷🏼♀️