How Neurotypical Patterns FAIL Neurodivergents at Home and In the Workplace

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Mom on the Spectrum

Mom on the Spectrum

Ай бұрын

Neurodivergent minds weren't built for certain societal constraints, such as the 9-5 work day. This video explores some of the pressures placed on autistic individuals when we try to conform to neurotypical standards.
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Пікірлер: 396
@sonjabarber9308
@sonjabarber9308 Ай бұрын
Yes! Meltdowns are not a teachable moment. I learned a phrase years ago that really clicked for me: "You can't teach a kid to swim if they are drowning." Wait until later when they aren't overwhelmed to talk through everything.
@randomperson6433
@randomperson6433 Ай бұрын
I wish my partner would understand this. When we fight and I get agitated he wants to keep going to “talk it out” but I am in no place to be rational when I’ve had enough.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Totally understand this. I’ve experienced this in relationships before too. I need processing time and space first. Doesn’t go over well when the other person wants an emotional conversation and is looking for a reaction..
@pepolite4082
@pepolite4082 Ай бұрын
My dad through me into a lake to teach me how to swim. It didn't go well.
@caralinder9338
@caralinder9338 Ай бұрын
​​@@pepolite4082 did you die? /j
@marieugorek5917
@marieugorek5917 Ай бұрын
Society needs to understand that some of us are going to need to be self-employed with support. Not self-employed and isolated completely. Not demoted to boring, repetitive jobs. Not pushed into jobs that "fulfill our potential" but leave us unable to function outside of work.
@Scarygothgirl
@Scarygothgirl Ай бұрын
I've noticed that you say you aren't "parenting" when you mean you aren't "disciplining". You have been guiding your children through their experiences, reaching them self compassion and self understanding. That is parenting. I would say it's wonderful parenting.
@KTplease
@KTplease Ай бұрын
I think she’s saying that an OUTSIDER would say she’s not parenting when they really mean disciplining. It’s a distinction we are able to make but society as a whole isn’t.
@Meldog1851
@Meldog1851 Ай бұрын
I definitely heard that as “parenting” with intentional quotation marks, meaning main stream parenting.
@emilybelzer5773
@emilybelzer5773 Ай бұрын
It's like, we understand that "policing" doesn't mean handcuffing and arresting everybody in a negative situation, but we're subject to the message that "parenting" does mean that, on an emotional level at the very least. I'm lucky to have always had parenting influences who remind me that the parenting is for my child's benefit, not whatever strangers happen to be watching.
@skillit32
@skillit32 Ай бұрын
After my diagnosis at 53, I can’t go back to working for a huge corporation like I have my entire career. The pressure is too much, and ultimately it just doesn’t work for me. Going forward I’m reinventing how I work, and that only includes working for myself now.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
YES! I love to hear this. I agree - after knowing what it's like to work for myself, I can't go back! There are many challenges but I'd choose this over working for someone else any day.
@OldTimer1970
@OldTimer1970 Ай бұрын
The company I work for was bought out last year by a corp, thankfully I have a good team but it's so not for me. A good company made me feel like family a corp makes you feel like an insignificant cog in a giant machine.
@darbydelane4588
@darbydelane4588 Ай бұрын
Same. Age 57.
@BeeWhistler
@BeeWhistler Ай бұрын
Would you say it’s worth it to seek a clinical diagnosis? No pressure if you don’t feel you should commit to a reaponse and I know it’s a much repeated question, but I’m 51 and I often wonder if I should.
@KicknAsphlt
@KicknAsphlt Ай бұрын
I'd love to be able to work for myself, but I haven't been able to pull the trigger yet due to some internal block. In the meantime, I'm fortunate enough to have a job that pays decent, is something I like to do (turn wrenches, play with electronics), and I have a manager that knows about my AuDHD and works with me. But I definitely get it, there are things that companies will do that will spin me up like a top. I can't wait to be able to do my own thing and not have to answer to someone else. I actually have a shirt that says, "life is too short to work for someone else's dream." I also like to say that I'm someone's fairy godmother, because my actions (at work) make their dreams come true...lol.
@seanwalsh5717
@seanwalsh5717 Ай бұрын
For the most part, autistic kids in meltdown mode need calm, quiet, and little-to-no cognitive load. Talking to them or (God forbid) asking questions adds to the cognitive load.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
absolutely. even lowering my voice to a whisper is more upsetting. better just not to say anything AT ALL. total silence
@seanwalsh5717
@seanwalsh5717 Ай бұрын
Yes. I sometimes see parents/caregivers during a meltdown asking "What set you off? It was no big deal?" That is not a good way to help in a meltdown, when lowering cognitive load is one of the best supports. Any sensory input can add to that load. Talking, and especially asking questions, adds too much.
@MaryPlaysPiano
@MaryPlaysPiano Ай бұрын
@@seanwalsh5717 totally agree! When our almost 10yr old has a big reaction or meltdown his dad is quick to invalidate him with insisting it's "not that big of a deal and you shouldn't have such a big reaction to such a little thing so calm down immediately and stop crying" kind of attitude. A toxic cycle he inherited from his family of origin that he's working on breaking, slowly. But when I instead stop talking, let the meltdown happen, just listen and share my calm, and whatta ya know kiddo responds WAAYYYY better with this emotional regulation support vs. being shamed and banished from sight until he's "over it". You can't yell at a flower to make it grow it needs loving care, nourishment, sunshine, fresh air, and the grace of time to blossom on its own. 🌻
@seanwalsh5717
@seanwalsh5717 Ай бұрын
@@MaryPlaysPiano Thank you for your comment. I agree with you 100% I've seen both kind of parenting of autistic kids. Some think treating the kid like an NT will work. Some think tough love works. But if you understand autistic brains, they get overloaded, and reducing cognitive load helps. And an autistic kid is no more to blame for having a meltdown than a kid is for having seizures. It is just how their brain works, and it is not their fault.
@seanwalsh5717
@seanwalsh5717 Ай бұрын
@@MaryPlaysPiano And, regulation is contagious. If the parent is regulated and calm, this helps the child's regulation. You are doing a good job.
@BeeWhistler
@BeeWhistler Ай бұрын
I’ve told my kids something I learned the hard way… you don’t owe people an explanation. You don’t have to answer the door, you don’t have to answer the phone, and when you do answer people and the answer is no, they usually have no ownership over the reasons why. There might be exceptions but as a rule. You don’t have to apologize for living differently, for not liking their favorite song or food, for not feeling up to answering the door. There may be consequences to withholding things and you have to accept them. But if you keep giving people reasons, they tend to respond by either trying to fix what’s stopping you, or by invalidating your feelings. Many seem to see it as a weakness or as a request for help. Sometimes you have to be firm and make it clear that this represents a boundary. It’s honestly very freeing. I love the moment on the Simpsons when Homer refuses an invitation from Flanders by saying he’d be a fifth wheel. And when Flanders attempted to assure him that he would be very welcome Homer added sternly, “I’d make it my business to be a fifth wheel.”
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
I love that line from Homer! Haven’t heard it before but fits this topic well. Thanks for sharing.
@pendlera2959
@pendlera2959 Ай бұрын
The problem is that if you don't explain yourself, people will often assume the worst. And that's not a neurotypical thing, that's a human thing. If someone does something you don't like or don't want and refuses to explain why, it's only natural to assume that person doesn't want to admit their reasons and thus the reasons are bad or even immoral. Very tricky line to walk.
@eliannafreely5725
@eliannafreely5725 Ай бұрын
@@pendlera2959Yes, but explaining doesn't fix it in my experience. I don't know how many times I have had a conversation with a friend explaining my boundaries and while they intellectually acknowledge what I'm saying, they still FEEL hurt or offended or weirded out or angry or entitled or frustrated.
@scottfw7169
@scottfw7169 18 күн бұрын
@@pendlera2959 And if I gave them a reason they could assume I'm not telling the true reason. Unless and until their assumptions cause an effect on me personally, their assumptions are their own business and their own personal failure, not mine.
@myhumansuit
@myhumansuit Ай бұрын
It is SO refreshing to hear an autistic parent, parent their autistic children like they are autistic! 💯 So many families' lives have been ruined in "child and family services."
@memery2781
@memery2781 Ай бұрын
Needed this validation today. I left my 9-5 a few months ago and started doing freelance work. My family keeps asking when I'm going to find a "real job" again. And the truth is... I don't know if I can, and I don't know if I'm going to. I don't think it's a match for my autism. I'm tired of burning out to fit a mold that isn't made for me. I can still be productive, but until there is an employer that will accommodate my needs, I think I need to work for myself.
@PraveenSriram
@PraveenSriram Ай бұрын
I currently work in the accounting and pricing office at west Cary wegmans in Cary, NC
@elan1418
@elan1418 Ай бұрын
"my executive functioning has taken the day off" YES!!! That's how i am going to refer to my low functioning days from now on. Thank you.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
My executive dysfunction has taken a few weeks off at this point 😮‍💨
@bekabell1
@bekabell1 Ай бұрын
Some years ago I had the opportunity to work 2 16 hour shifts instead of 5 8hour shifts. I loved it so much! For 2 days all I had to do was work, that was it, and then I had 5 days at home (where I worked as a homemaker). It gave me the ability to compartmentalize my home life from my work life which was so needed.
@xsarahelisa
@xsarahelisa Ай бұрын
"you don't have to give people an explanation for why you do things the way you do them." I can't begin to describe how profound and validating that statement is for me. thank you
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
So simple but so profound right? It changes a lot
@MorganBondelid
@MorganBondelid Ай бұрын
another one is: *“You can’t just have that sensitivity in one area and not have it spill over.”* FACTS 🫠🤕🫂💝
@kriswalker3275
@kriswalker3275 Ай бұрын
The mac and cheese thing brought so many come back thoughts to my mind but one that sticks is "who truly has the rigid thinking patterns" when expecting those that are different to do 100% of the work to connect with them. I see zero accomadation even being available to those that are different and expecting more from them and rejecting them for not "fitting in" so backwards
@PsychActually
@PsychActually Ай бұрын
Right?? Accurate. I hope we will see more of this changing with more and more advocacy and awareness being spread like Taylor’s doing here!
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello dear how are you doing ❤😊❤😊
@davekerby9020
@davekerby9020 Ай бұрын
Diagnosed last year at 48 (never too late to know) I'd reinforce your point on working from home. I WFH 2 days a week and it's been an absolute game changer for me having those days where I don't need my 'in the office' mask.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
YES! 🙌
@geekcollage
@geekcollage Ай бұрын
Me too! I LOVE remote work. When I can't focus, I can actually do laundry or take a break etc. it's lovely.
@Bethherzz
@Bethherzz Ай бұрын
I have such immense respect and admiration for how you parent/describe how you handle situations with the kids. My own upbringing was filled with meltdowns and sensory issues, but it was consistently approached in, in my opinion, unhelpful and harmful ways. Now im my late 20's, I'm having to parent inner child me while having adult responsibilities, and boy is it exhausting! 😅 it's really so awesome to hear how you do things. It's insightful to all ages and not just parents, but also people re-parenting themselves. Much love ❤
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Thank you! I appreciate it.
@NikkiVelazquez
@NikkiVelazquez Ай бұрын
My pattern is atypical.... I cant take breaks at work. I lose momentum, and i don't like having to stop in the middle of an activity. I do administrative work, so I'm able to work the way that's best for me. I do explain this to people i train so they know they're free to take breaks.
@amy-avnas
@amy-avnas Ай бұрын
I am the same at my job, I don't take my break until the very end of my shift which I use to get ready to leave. I also work 6 hours instead of 8 because I found 8 too be just too hard on me. I work as a grocery clerk, but also help work the tills as well and a lot of times help customers looking for stuff in the other departments as well. Its hard because I do get pulled away from what I was doing and going back is difficult as I have to try and remember where I was and what I was doing, and often that means I have to walk through the entire store to remember where I was and what I was doing. Its very disruptive. Then of course there is all the sounds and smells that come from being in a public environment, sometime that I just started to realize how much it affects me. Knowing all this might be do to me being autistic is eye opening as things in my life all these 33 years are really starting to make sense now. Also explains my two recent and never experienced before meltdowns I had at work. I had only recently reduced my hours down, before that I was working 8 hour days four days a week to get the maxium hours a week I could. I found it doable so I thought I was fine😅. I guess for the short term I even was, but it all piled up after awhile😞. Sorry I started rammbling a bit😅 I have just found out recently that I may be autistic.
@MaryPlaysPiano
@MaryPlaysPiano Ай бұрын
Yep when I'm in deep focus on something I even get irritated with having to take bathroom breaks and put it off until the last possible second to avoid the disruption. Then I feel guilty about being annoyed by my own basic biological needs, but still keep on repeating the behavior.
@EllePole
@EllePole Ай бұрын
Sounds like you might also be ADHD then. 😊
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful how are you doing 😊
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
​@@EllePoleHow are you doing
@cfjohnson7369
@cfjohnson7369 Ай бұрын
When I was a kid (10, 11, 12 years old) and things were too loud, too bright, too many people, I would go and hide. My father would find me and ask me what was wrong. I could not explain! Just needed some dark quiet to regain balance! I did not even have the word "over-stimulated."
@whitneymason406
@whitneymason406 Ай бұрын
Great topic! I worked in childcare as a Montessori teacher in the a toddler classroom before I knew I was autistic. Then I had my son and I really wanted him to come to work with me and attend that school. Even before I knew he was autistic, I knew he and the school wouldn't be a good match. When I got his diagnosis I started to realize I couldn't continue to work at the rate I was. As his support needs became more clear as he aged I had to leave my job completely and become a stay at home mom for my son and my daughter. He is now in school and my daughter will go to kindergarten this fall. Financially, we need me to go back to work but I have no idea what I will do. Now that I have my diagnosis as well I need to make sure I set up accommodations for myself so I don't burn out. Thanks for starting this discussion!
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Yes it's so important to consider your needs as well, Whitney, but I know it can be so difficult to prioritize that as a mother! Glad you're taking note of your situation and trying to create some space for yourself. You're so worth it! And it always makes my heart happy to hear about how well you support and advocate for your children.
@nathanh6439
@nathanh6439 Ай бұрын
Have you considered returning to work at your local schools? Not necessarily as a teacher, but maybe as an aide or something else part time. As a single neurodivergent dad raising two neurodivergent children, my employment options were limited so I started working at our local schools. Their days off school are almost always my days off work. Only working 20 to 25 hours a week in a public school makes for an abysmal income being a civil servant, but my kiddos need me to be home when they are. Also, my employer allows some accommodations for personal needs and I find working with children to be enriching. Especially the 'troubled' kiddos. I will admit it can be taxing though, dealing with hundreds of other people's kids, my kids, and myself. Anywho, hope you have a wonderful day and a better tomorrow!
@whitneymason406
@whitneymason406 Ай бұрын
@nathanh6439 great suggestion. I'll have to look into that! Thank you!
@nicoleh6519
@nicoleh6519 Ай бұрын
If you can get into the zone with things like spreadsheets or data entry, there are jobs like medical claims transcribing or accounts payable that sometimes are work from home or flexible hours. Also computer programming or web design. Those can be good options if you are an introvert as well as neurodivergent. They typically require less interaction with people.
@whitneymason406
@whitneymason406 Ай бұрын
@nicoleh6519 great suggestions, thank you!!
@BuckEboo
@BuckEboo Ай бұрын
I wasted so many decades and money trying to be the person I thought I should be but never really had no clue until 2022. So yes. Now it’s time to figure out better ways of doing things. I find my workday productivity is better late morning around 11am but I’m required to start work at 7am. 🤦🏻 My extended family are finally accepting that I’m a delayed processor and they stopped telling me I’m living in the past. You’ve hit on a lot I relate to.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Glad to hear your family members are starting to show you more acceptance... I hope that continues to increase! And yes it can be difficult to realize the person you are is not the person you thought you were? Confusing I know... here supporting you as you step into more of who you were meant to be!
@majickalstar
@majickalstar Ай бұрын
Another fab video, Taylor, I've worked 9 till 5 for years, and I've struggled a lot. I've had periods of abscense over the years. The sad thing is I feel like I don't have a life out with work. When I get home, I spend my evenings and weekends recovering from overwhelm. It's become such a routine now. It's almost like I don't know any better. I was always pushed to do things a certain way (what was expected of me) even when it's so uncomfortable for me and often distressing. I learned the art of masking very early on, but I'm only now discovering myself. My therapist confirmed I'll be getting an autism assessment in about 3 months' time. I feel like I'm just now beginning to get to know myself, if that makes sense! Even if they can't give me an autism diagnosis, I know myself that I am autistic. Xx
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Yes this makes sense! And I relate to your struggle - when I was teaching flute lessons, I feel like I spent all my time at home recovering from how stressful my days were. My life is very different now that I'm learning how to incorporate healthier patterns!
@PsychActually
@PsychActually Ай бұрын
Same!!! Taught piano lessons after college and I could never understand how I felt SO exhausted afterward. I only taught privately in after-school hours, too, so it wasn’t even a full-time job. 😞
@PsychActually
@PsychActually Ай бұрын
My partner is in the same boat…we’ve identified that their current line of work involves too much interpersonal interaction and meetings, as well as a line of work that would be much more enjoyable and feel like a lot less work for them because it’s their special interest. They also started working from home 10 years ago and would never go back to an office - it’s so much less stressful. Hoping once the education is under their belt for the career switch that will free them up to have more energy for enjoyable things in life like hobbies and socializing
@elwood393
@elwood393 Ай бұрын
This! This is me, too. It takes me all evening during the week plus every weekend day I have off to recover from full time work. I feel like I lack the capacity to have a life. I am desperate for my first assessment appointment in June. It can’t come soon enough.
@majickalstar
@majickalstar Ай бұрын
​@erikawood628 I hear ya! It's made more difficult for me with friends and family putting the pressure on for me to get out and about doing other things. They just don't get it at all. Then, I can't recover properly from the overwhelm I already feel for worrying about the pressure I'm getting from others. It's a vicious circle I find myself in often. Sending you hugs and hoping your assessment in June comes around quickly for you xx
@Makeuploveculture
@Makeuploveculture Ай бұрын
This is exactly my problem. I’ve gotten fired from ALMOST every job I’ve had. I had quite a lot. I only understand now that I was acting normal for my diagnosis but also having meltdowns. I don’t work anymore and I still struggle very much to get things done.
@PraveenSriram
@PraveenSriram Ай бұрын
I’m sorry you got fired from almost every job. I don’t like 9 to 5 jobs
@Makeuploveculture
@Makeuploveculture Ай бұрын
@@PraveenSriram I am too but it’s kind of what prompted me to do something about it. I just didn’t understand what was going on. I definitely don’t like 9-5.
@emilyk4821
@emilyk4821 Ай бұрын
Also a late diagnosed autistic, but Im only 24. Loving your content so much as it’s helping me learn how to build my life with my neurodivergence in mind. Currently a teacher but planning to leave because it is not ND friendly. Hit a level of severe burnout this month that’s been a lifelong coming. I was a VERY clearly autistic girl, but the early 2000s did not have the understanding we have now. Too academically gifted to be identified as disabled, but disabled enough that my life was hell. Thank you for your content, you’re helping me build my base. I didn’t have a stable foundation, so when my mask completely shattered a few months into my first full time job everyone was shocked myself included. I spent my life building my NT acting skills because of the shame I felt, that I now know is internalized ableism. My new chapter is discovering what I actually need and enjoy. I’ve only lived up to this point doing things the way they were expected and didn’t understand why they were so hard for me. But now I know and can rebuild my life the way I need ❤
@Wafooi77
@Wafooi77 Ай бұрын
I'm a 46 years old doctor, and I relate to every thing you mentioned. I 've recently realized that all my lifelong struggles were due to being neurodivergent, and only now can accept my reality and stop the masking and fighting to fit in the neurotypical world, at the cost of my mental health, a process that has been so exhausting and draining on a daily basis. I'm now planning to quit peacefully and not care about not fitting in, or the lifelong failures in the eyes of neurotypicals.
@JaspyBear
@JaspyBear Ай бұрын
Had you heard of the term 2E, twice exceptional, giftedness with physical disability? I was 36 at diagnosis, very similar story as yours. Tech wasn’t for me even though skills and passions aligned. Major burnout 36-40, on disability now. I really hope you can make a shift that works so you can keep going! All the best for you. 💗✨
@emilyk4821
@emilyk4821 Ай бұрын
@@JaspyBear yes I have! I actually am a special education teacher, and unfortunately schools are decades behind medical and tech advancements in terms of educating students with disabilities. Even for physical disabilities, educational opportunities are limited based on buildings and schools just starting to get up to par. There is so much technology that could improve the experience of SWD, but most schools can’t afford it. Alternative communication devices, speech to text, and same AI innovation have been incredibly useful even since I’ve graduated high school and started being a teacher. It wasn’t until 1975 that students with disabilities were not in public schools. I’ve been in districts where our schools buildings were built before then and we still are struggling to find funds to fix them or build a new school. Entire generations of kids are missed in the process :(
@emilyk4821
@emilyk4821 Ай бұрын
@@JaspyBear in terms of 2E it is very much my case. We don’t identify kids unless they’re failing classes. So a lot of neurodivergent kids get missed especially if they can be really good students despite their challenges. And true reality of working now is that teachers don’t even have support to handle the kids that are failing classes and cannot do basic academic skills. They’re not going to refer a kid who understands the material for special ed regardless of how obvious the condition is
@JaspyBear
@JaspyBear Ай бұрын
@@emilyk4821 thank you so much for sharing such incredible insight! It’s always so good to celebrate the progress alongside the miles we have to go as a fairly recently established disabled society. I have a difficult time presenting my spikiness. It doesn’t feel ok to be an intellectual disabled person, so intersectional you never fit in anywhere. It’s hard to explain the highs and lows of my achievements and illness. It gets mischaracterized and ultimately affects me financially in many ways. Trying to learn to manage in such an unconscious society committed to its outdated beliefs. 😌
@NatalieNox600
@NatalieNox600 Ай бұрын
I work 9-5 from home, but it is a pretty good structure. No one minds that I'm half the time staring at text and not actively doing anything. I'm available if they call or message me and get my stuff done. But staring into the void for 10 hours or switching between 2-3 tabs erratically is part of my process, and in the end I get done the same amount of work as everyone else.
@AuditingWithAutism
@AuditingWithAutism Ай бұрын
This is so great! Having an informed autistic parent helping their autistic kid has to be the answer for growing up healthy. Loved it. 🎉
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
aww thanks so much for saying this
@Compuscience-Python-Prog-Exps
@Compuscience-Python-Prog-Exps Ай бұрын
Asperger's diagnosed at the age of 38, just after my Mom passed away. I'm now approaching sixty, next December...
@musicmama2864
@musicmama2864 Ай бұрын
It has been my experience that parenting/teaching neuro-divergent children requires a lot of flexibility. It can be tough to "let it go" in the moment. However, the more we give them space, followed by good communication, the better they become at regulating themselves. Their threshold for tolerating difficult situations expands tremendously.
@babyjohn1974
@babyjohn1974 Ай бұрын
Hi Taylor. I am in a very deep and dark place today. I am a 49 late confirmed Neurodivergent man, was confirmed at 46. Thank you for this, your words have helped me through another day. I have a very long and hard journey ahead but I know by taking one day at a time I will find myself as I am meant to be, not what others expectations have left me as. Love to you and your family.
@JaCaraKM
@JaCaraKM Ай бұрын
I’m 54 and newly (self) diagnosed. I now understand why I have had so many work life challenges. I have a very stressful and highly demanding job that I have burned out with at least 6 times over the last 20 years. I keep switching jobs hoping things will be better but it never is. I just keep burning out and having to take a month or two off. However, when I go back, the cycle repeats. I’m finally understanding that I will never find a job working for someone else that will accommodate my needs. I am going the self-employment route but I am so afraid of not being able to support myself with my chosen business that I’m stuck in the initial building of the business. I want to be self-employed but also very afraid of the demands of it
@DeneeGlenn
@DeneeGlenn Ай бұрын
I hear you and see you 🤗 Yes, it's such a vicious cycle. Yes, the fear is too real and can be crippling. I don't know if it helps but you have a new subscriber 😊
@angustheterrible3149
@angustheterrible3149 Ай бұрын
I just want to thank you for what you do. I have only recently begun to suspect that I might be autistic, but I have to say that I feel so...safe listening to you and other autustic creators speak. Its like I've finally found others who "speak my language". I can't fully describe the feeling of recognizing myself in those who are autistic. It's this sense of "home" that feels right to me.
@shelbybutler9714
@shelbybutler9714 Ай бұрын
My decompression places: bathtub, garden, & going for a drive. When I am overwhelmed and ready for a meltdown, if I go to these places, I cannot be disturbed. If someone inserts their self in my decompression place, or prevents me (not smart) from going to my safe place, there will be a meltdown, and everyone will suffer. I have learned to warn people to steer clear, while I am decompressing. Because my son also is Autistic, I look for and respect his decompression spaces, as well. Great tips, thanks.
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day 😊😊😊😊
@jennyaspie
@jennyaspie Ай бұрын
Thank you Taylor. You have no idea how much I needed this video today. I was struggling emotionally because I'm trying to finish out a standard 9-5 work week and it's making me exhausted and not able to give anything much to my family when I get home. I'm in the process of about to be going part-time. I am a late diagnosed adult woman with ASD. Thank you for this video.💕
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤
@rgfs71
@rgfs71 Ай бұрын
We need a better way for people in general to understand how truly diverse and powerful the human mind is. Our minds are as varied as our physique, but its characteristics aren’t as immediately obvious. Look at the athletes competing at the Olympics and you’ll see all sizes, shapes, and genders. Every one of them excels in their respective sport, but not necessarily every sport. The physical characteristics that favour a long-distance runner may not lend themselves to gymnastics, or swimming, or weightlifting. Our minds are no different, but we live in a society that believes all minds are identical. When you recognize how people think differently the notion of working differently makes a lot more sense. One of the major things I’ve come to learn is that the things I’m good at come so easily that I’m unaware that I’m good at it. But the things I’m bad at are things neurotypical folk do easily. So I would find myself struggling to get by on the typical expectations and surviving by periodically achieving seemingly miraculous things that came so easily to me. The sad thing is many of those things went unnoticed because I didn’t think to show them or tell people about them. Moreover, I struggle so much with the easy stuff that I don’t feel justified demonstrating something remarkable. Who would really expect it from me? I think the best example of how working can be better is how my partner and I cook. We both love good food and would initially take turns making meals, with mixed levels of success and frustration. Eventually I came to realize that my partner really struggled when it came to cooking the meal and I would always struggle with meal planning and prep. We talked about it and she revealed how much she LOVES to plan the meals and get everything prepped and ready, but panics when it comes to cooking. I, on the other hand, HATED planning meals and prepping, but have a talent for cooking. Now we work together, focusing on what we love and do well while leaving the other deal with the ‘crappy’ job. It sounds like an obvious solution, but we were so wrapped up in the idea that we should be able to do the whole job that we didn’t want to admit what we were bad at and hated. Talking openly about what we’re good and bad at, liked and disliked, led us to realize how our skills were complimentary. Solutions in the workplace need to follow the same path, but it’s hard without understanding WHAT some people may be better or worse at. You may be worried about offloading something you don’t like or pushing back on a work assignment, but NOT pushing back takes away the opportunity for someone else to step up and CHOOSE to take on what another despises and vice versa. As a final note in this comment-turned-essay, we also need to get away from the 40 hour work week. It’s utterly ridiculous that we spend the majority of our waking hours working. If every useful cycle in our brain is dedicated to work, how are we expected to function? How can you possibly get into the flow state needed to do really good work? We can accomplish a lot more great things in a lot less time if we’re working on the right stuff in the right time.
@lisabmpls
@lisabmpls Ай бұрын
So many thoughts…all at once…can’t get them out…😂😂😂. What a great topic! Yes to not working 9 to 5! Yes to having grace for ourselves to be different! Yes to not having words! 😊 I had one of those super productive days yesterday and it was great! Today I slept later, my words aren’t coming, and if I had to do the work I did yesterday my brain would melt and I’d get cranky. Uneven productivity ftw??? Thank you so much for calling this out and making it normal. I’m still working on not shaming myself for this trait. And your words really really really help with that! If you ever find a guide to being a solo business owner and neurodivergent, let me (us) know. Jk, I know you would! I’d jump on it in a heartbeat! Kudos to you for figuring out your kids’ needs and styles and letting them process how they need to. I can only imagine how much of a challenge it can be out in the world. I am learning to be more cognizant of people’s parenting styles through you and therefore not putting judgy energy out there. One thing I’ve learned in my 40+ years of working (started when I was 15) is that communication is so important. Not that I’m anywhere near perfect at it. Admittedly I work in a creative industry so people tolerate some level of emotional language but even then things go awry. One thing that has worked for me is a kindly ‘Thanks, let me think about that’ to buy myself time to process what was just said. I’ll write it down (pen & paper, old school) so I don’t forget. And then get back to the person/team/group in some fashion. Doesn’t work in all circumstances but it’s something I wish someone had taught me when I was young and in the work environment. Would have saved me a lot of anger and frustration and feeling bad about myself! Also, not to undercut the importance of the topic, your shirt is super cool!!!! 😊
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
yes so many great things here! Thanks for sharing lisa. And I agree - I like to keep a small notepad with me to keep track of things I need to remember or come back to due to delayed processing or not yet being ready to answer. It really helps!
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤😊❤😊
@user-pb4xz8gg7l
@user-pb4xz8gg7l Ай бұрын
I'm in tears right now thank you for that validation of saying I don't have to explain because that compulsion to explain has had me imprisioned! Thanks 4 all u share
@Universal_exports87
@Universal_exports87 Ай бұрын
It took me YEARS to find my bearing on my equivalent of the spectrum. You will all get there, just keep moving.
@Anyblacker
@Anyblacker Ай бұрын
I find it really like reaally hard to not have to explain everything that goes on my mind. Sometimes I even share things with people at the workplace that I don’t even like right now or am upset at. Like why?!
@MrDaydreamer1584
@MrDaydreamer1584 Ай бұрын
"just because there's something in our head we feel like we have to like share it with other people" Yes! I feel like this all the time.
@nataliesirota2611
@nataliesirota2611 Ай бұрын
It sounds like you are doing a great job, not only being an autistic parent to autistic kids, but also being a fantastic example for all parents! Yes and Amen to doing life differently! Thank goodness we live in a time and place where accomodations are available and more accepted.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
🙏🏼💜
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful time 😊❤😊❤
@victoriagaliani1403
@victoriagaliani1403 Ай бұрын
This is so true! And I feel like it is especially worse for those of us whose circadian rhythms are more nocturnal (most of my hyperfocus moments arise between 7-10pm), which doesn't really benefit the neurotypical workday hours. Also, many (neurotypical) workplaces have "forced" socialization which is awkward and confusing and draining (whether because of masking or because of the effort of trying to understand what the interactions around us really are). Sensitivity has taken on a bad name in recent years; humanity has become so desensitized with what how the world works nowadays with social media and such. A problem I've noticed with this level of unmasking and authenticity and self-validation in relationships with neurotypical loved ones is that there are many things about our autistic selves that we may not want to change, that we may process our diagnosis and understand ourselves better, but those around us may not be as quick to understand that "this" is who we've always been, it just so happens that it had always remained just inside our heads and was never exteriorized. This can make communication a bit of a challenge because it's not just us transitioning to more authenticity but also adapting to the rhythm in which our loved ones are adapting to and embracing our now visibly authenticity... and transitions are just hard. There may be misunderstandings and some metaphorical bumps on the road, but the effort of the transition is worth it if your loved ones accept, embrace and accommodate us just as we are.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this! Really great perspectives
@Roswell33
@Roswell33 2 күн бұрын
Someone said recently that their sister was doing a "patient parent" approach where they allow meltdowns and are compassionate. It blew my mind that that isn't an intuitive thing where parents are attuned to their kids instead of yelling at them
@ByTheLightOfABurningDonkey
@ByTheLightOfABurningDonkey Ай бұрын
I was recently diagnosed at 35. It was something that i knew deep down was true and sure enough it was. I have to work ten hour days (a chef) and when i come home its just total shutdown fo hours then rinse repeat
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤❤😊
@mrpseudos
@mrpseudos Ай бұрын
I'm very thankful that I discovered your channel. My child & early adulthood are beginning to make way more sense. Which is helping me with inner peace.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
I’m so glad to hear that, and happy to have you in the community. 💕
@paulpetersen6539
@paulpetersen6539 Ай бұрын
Your work is becoming very helpful to me - as i'm discovering it. I'm older than you ( - none of this is new to me) but broaching any of these subjects just gets me called 'Buddy'. [ ...& Blood Fire ]
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Glad you're here! Thanks for your comment.
@melissa23347
@melissa23347 Ай бұрын
Today I do need permission to do life differently so thank you for this. ❤
@dallinorr6929
@dallinorr6929 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much Taylor! Your videos are always helpful, and good little week to week reminders that facilitate a lot of acceptance, self-compassion and understanding. So thank you :) Love from Canada
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
This comment makes me so happy!! Thank you for saying this.
@MelodieRose727
@MelodieRose727 Ай бұрын
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. You have articulated so many things that I really needed to hear, that make me feel seen, and like a person instead of a broken mess. Thank you. Cannot even explain how much it helps to see you having trouble speaking and doing anyway, because you have something important to communicate. I’ve never seen anyone do that before, you were literally one of the only role models I’ve ever had for this. I’m so grateful. ❤
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
This makes me feel so good. Thank you for sharing, and I'm so glad the video is helpful to you.
@anotheranybody58
@anotheranybody58 Ай бұрын
It is a small thing to me, to learn and remember exactly how my daughter needs her quesadilla cooked (just barely enough cheese to stick together but not enough that it oozes at all, cooked until crispy with no floppy bits, cut into narrow triangles, handed over while still hot) but it means so much to her, as it means the difference between eating and going hungry. She isn't being difficult, she is seeking safety. I think that as ND parents we show our love when we make accomodations like this. She'll try new foods if and when she's ready. My favorite childhood book was "Bread and Jam for Francis" 😊
@ThreenaddiesRexMegistus
@ThreenaddiesRexMegistus 4 күн бұрын
My pet hate was the constant “why aren’t you smiling, it’s not that bad?” question. As if walking around with an idiot grin was a job requirement. I did like WFH before they got all weird about it and decided we had to come back to the cubicle farm. The WFH days were incredibly productive by getting rid of all the pointless interactions. I figured out my neurodivergence at 58. Things began to make sense after that.
@elmapollard4238
@elmapollard4238 Ай бұрын
I have 2 adult kids on spectrum...myself too. Built my own career as entrepreneur, very successfully, and now spend my days teaching my kids how to do same. Not easy, but doable. I would be happy to share. I am 64 and my ASD kids are 38 and 25.
@meaganpucksuzy
@meaganpucksuzy Ай бұрын
This is how I feel about my job. I work a 9-5, but my brain works in sprints and rest. I can’t pace myself to maintain the same level of focus across an 8 hour work day, 5 days a week, 12 months a year. I am sprinting and getting a million things done or I’m crawling and I can barely form a complete thought. Luckily my position allows for some of that, with some more intense periods and some slower periods, but it’s a challenge to set myself for success in this atmosphere for sure.
@lfleia
@lfleia Ай бұрын
I never realized my own neurodivergence until I had my child, because every coping mechanism and strategy I had been using failed miserably in the face of being a parent, where you really can't have these maladaptive coping strategies - hiding socially because I couldn't stand more people works when you only have other introverted/ND friends, but doesn't work with a baby that constantly needs you! It's been such a blessing to learn these things about myself and my child, because she is on the spectrum, and even in these really tough moments, there's such a community here on the internet of people who have actually lived these experiences and I can' find options for us that work, even if I don't get it 'right' the first time while I'm figuring it out.
@lastlight4252
@lastlight4252 Ай бұрын
I wish everyone was on the autism spectrum. I was diagnosed at 68. I guess I would say to the Mac and cheese kids - ok - three different ways. Can you guys help me do that? You be in charge of this - you be in charge of that, and you can stir in that in that bowl. So when their request creates more work for you, then you can explain it is more work and you need them to help you with the extra work. And - they can be different. Or, they could decide - well, I don't want to do that extra works, so maybe I can try the Mac and Cheese his way or your way.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
This is a great idea! And will probably work with varying degrees of success depending on the support level and age level. Great suggestions!
@lsmith992
@lsmith992 29 күн бұрын
Oh my I saw the title and thought "No kidding"
@thomaswaffle5121
@thomaswaffle5121 Ай бұрын
I don't know if I'm neurodivergent or not. I do think differently than most and I do need some kind of help understanding what's going on. After years of drug addiction and smashing my windshield with my head, I just thought I was going crazy and not even me after I got clean. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Much love and gratitude
@marionhegarty6802
@marionhegarty6802 Ай бұрын
YES. Thank you. Exactly what I have been doing for my kid all along and got so much emotional blackmail from the surroundings. Took me 13 years to get a proper diagnosis and information. But honestly, when I listened to my intuition about what she needs and how I can help her I have been on the right path from since she was born. She is such a pure and precious soul. ❤
@HannahFields444
@HannahFields444 Ай бұрын
Fwiw the pace and tone of this "off the cuff" video was so good and very comfortable to watch for me! Loved it!!
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Oh awesome! Thanks so much for the feedback.
@247supermom
@247supermom Ай бұрын
Such a great video!!!! I heard your heart coming through, not that it doesn't in your other videos. Thanks for the encouragement to be different, which to me means accept the different and not call it wrong, broken, or useless. Great reminder ... we DON’T have to explain ourselves! I still think it would be SO beneficial to help the community if you make a video that goes into the relationship issues (you started to touch on it in this one) that may occur when we start giving ourselves grace, alone time, etc... how that takes time to walk through to set up new structures/guidelines especially with our spouses, partners, parents, children, bosses, co-workers and friends. (This is D'Edra)
@alanl9
@alanl9 Ай бұрын
These symptoms you articulate are so spot on for me. I'm sure I'm on the spectrum. It is so difficult.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
glad you're here!! i hope you continue finding more resources that are helpful for you here.
@ShaunaAurora
@ShaunaAurora Ай бұрын
Taylor, I love your videos and I’ve learned so much from you. I am a lifelong CPTSDer and was recently evaluated for both Autism and ADHD. My therapist thought I would get diagnosed with both and I got neither. The evaluator and I did have a conversation about how PTSD symptoms overlap quite a bit with Autistic and ADHD traits. Either way, I wish I would have had these tools that I’m learning from you and other neurodivergent “influencers.” Thank you for doing what you do 🙏🏻
@lrwiersum
@lrwiersum Ай бұрын
Just diagnosed at 65. I’m practically a recluse but I’m happy. Perhaps it’s intense rest after a lifetime of struggling. So much struggle, no words for it. I fought tooth and nail for everything I ever had. It took guts. I have no quit in me and I have guts. They served me well.
@capybaraconlimon6754
@capybaraconlimon6754 Ай бұрын
Being diagnosed at 42, it's been quite a challenge to adapt to the neurotypical office. People expect me to be willing to socialize at any given moment, attend several office events and deal with the noise. And that's so hard at times! I've been learning in therapy how to include breaks when I'm starting to feel overwhelmed, and to stop working if I've finished the work I had to do for the day, instead of pushing me to my limits. Sadly it's either that or not being able to pay the bills. :(
@matthewconley7495
@matthewconley7495 Ай бұрын
Great point about giving ourselves permission to fail. I deliberately avoid some social media channels (think Insta!) as a way of avoiding people who push perfectionism.
@MissNeurodiverse
@MissNeurodiverse 29 күн бұрын
A book for neurodivergent business owners that I LOVE is “Chill & Prosper” by Denise Duffield-Thomas! Denise was recently diagnosed with ADHD and released an updated edition of the book to reflect this. It’s all about building a business in a way that works for women like us and I highly, highly recommend it, as well as her other book and podcast! She hasn’t specifically stated that she’s also Autistic but I wouldn’t be surprised as business & finance are definitely her lifelong special interests.
@nryane
@nryane Ай бұрын
Thank you for your “rambling”, Taylor. I followed every thought. Blessings!
@MartinMCade
@MartinMCade Ай бұрын
I worked a 9 to 5 for 22 years, and I was OK with it - but it was a tech job that seemed to fit the way my own brain works. Sometimes the hours were longer (12 hours/7 days a week on one or two urgent projects), and other times I got extra time off without it counting as vacation. I'll bet there were quite a few undiagnosed autistics working alongside me. One key to my happiness was staying away from management roles, and even more important was gradually losing the mindset that to be "successful" means promotions to management and leadership roles. Before that career I was in the military. Definitely NOT recommended in my case, if I could go back in time to being a teenager I would change that choice if I could.
@angelcoyote9802
@angelcoyote9802 Ай бұрын
I like your authenticity. I struggle with my words like that sometimes too.
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful how are you doing 😊😊❤
@kharden8231
@kharden8231 Ай бұрын
Wow, at 65 and recently aware of being on the spectrum, to hear a mother embrace and adjust for her child’s sensory sensitivities is amazing! I grew up thinking my differences were something I had to be ashamed of and to overcome. - how different my life could have been if I felt that kind of acceptance! Thank you for sharing these videos, they touch me and are helping me see me in a different light 💗
@NeurodiverJENNt
@NeurodiverJENNt Ай бұрын
Hey Disney princess 😅 similar with my son. He literally has a meltdown that could look like a temper tantrum... It lasts 10 minutes... Then he's profusely apologizing to me and hugging me. Happy early birthday 🎉
@shiny6123
@shiny6123 Ай бұрын
Validate yourself. 👏🏼👏🏼 Your children are blessed to have you Mom. 😌
@crichard1815
@crichard1815 Ай бұрын
Sensitivity can be a B sometimes. It happens too often I feel like a wound up coiled exposed nerve. 😢
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
yes definitely resonate with being an exposed nerve
@3foldartco
@3foldartco Ай бұрын
I watched another video yesterday from someone who doesn't fit into the world the way neurotypical people do and she was talking about her business and how she runs it differently and had no support and I just was so grateful for my business coach who didn't start out a neurodivergent coach but she got several of us and she adapted things to fit what we needed for our businesses to be for our lives and so she coaches us like that and it's so important to find someone who doesn't try to make you neurotypical but I highly recommend a coach who doesn't try to make you do things that feel awful.
@KTplease
@KTplease Ай бұрын
Relatable! I have always had a problem with that same verse, because I often NEED time to cool down and collect my thoughts, instead of trying to “work it out” before bed and only making it worse!
@spotterofgold
@spotterofgold Ай бұрын
Great video! I plan to watch it multiple times...so...maybe it's a sort of manifesto for the community. I mean, you touched on a lot of things and I thank you for all of it. So glad I found your channel. : )❤( :
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Aww yay I’m glad the video was helpful to you. Thanks for your kind comment!
@autisticautumn7379
@autisticautumn7379 Ай бұрын
I just can't work was never supported in work .I was driven out by bullies totally traumatised now I am broke and sad with two degrees and feel inept and useless 😢😢
@breannas9165
@breannas9165 Ай бұрын
This video spoke to me and had me cheering ❤
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
How are you doing today
@dreckhuhn
@dreckhuhn 26 күн бұрын
We don't have rolemodels. This hits home. Plus the case of self-employment. I founded my small WFH online business a year ago and all I do is to learn how to be a business owner. I don't have customers, because I first have to learn how neurotypical customers think and how I should advertise my stuff to them, but I have nobody that could teach me. I've googled 'autistic marketing strategies' so, so much but never found any answer. Only websites that explained what autism is and which needs we have in 9-5 jobs allegedly. It's so painful to see. So yeah. I needed to hear this!
@calthegreatest
@calthegreatest 9 күн бұрын
I think your best bet is using social media for feedback and doing things like making polls. There's probably some subreddits or forums where you can get feedback personally, which could help.
@stephienxb
@stephienxb Ай бұрын
This may be my favorite video of yours yet as a long time viewer!
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day 😊❤
@WriterMarkusRegius
@WriterMarkusRegius Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video! I'm struggling with this right now, trying to get back to some sort of employment after my burnout. I'm lucky to live in a country where I can get a lot of help from government agencies and whatnot, but there's a strict structure on how it's done. These days and these hours, and if you have a good day you still can't exceed these hours, and if you have a bad day you still have to be there (okay, I can take sick days, but still) … Yeah, for these and many other reasons it's a system that's not designed for me, and I don't know how to navigate it … Anyway, I just really appreciate this video, reminding me that I'm not alone, and articulating some things I've struggled with ❤
@BananaPantsChannel
@BananaPantsChannel Ай бұрын
I really appreciated this video, thank you for making it. You’re hitting on the struggles I’ve been having with how to exist in the typical, capitalist work setting when I don’t function that way. I get it, businesses work on consistency and predictability. I wish I could be that consistently productive but it’s not going to happen. Where can we meet in the middle? I’m not sure.
@Devodry
@Devodry Ай бұрын
Thank you for your courage to put out this content. This is so helpful to us that have struggles at work.
@rushiaskinnerwallace6175
@rushiaskinnerwallace6175 Ай бұрын
As expected - bc of your consistent, relevant, relatable and applicable content - another great video, Taylor. Asante Sana! 🙏🏼☺️💕🌈
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Thank so much! 🙏🏼
@thebecbark
@thebecbark Ай бұрын
Such great advice. Thank you. You looked like this really needed saying today. I'm sending you a virtual hug. ❤
@GothicBookLover
@GothicBookLover Ай бұрын
Both Neurotypical and Neurodivergent people need to meet one another halfway. Easier said than done sadly on both sides. I am blessed I have a job and manager that also works unorthodox hours
@lindaT82
@lindaT82 Ай бұрын
Another super helpful video! Thank you so much!!
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello dear hope you're having a great day ❤
@arobinreads
@arobinreads Ай бұрын
I have been doing volunteer work, which has helped so much. My boss is very flexible, so I can work how I want and when I want. I am fortunate to live in a country where I get money from the government
@aprilkite_
@aprilkite_ Ай бұрын
Wonderfully helpful! Thanks so much for keeping it real, and sharing these insights.
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤😊❤😊
@MaryPlaysPiano
@MaryPlaysPiano Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this! I think I've found my new community. I and my almost 10yr old are currently getting assessed but we're pretty sure he, his dad, and I are all neurodivergent. We definitely do things differently and get called permissive or coddling for "giving in" to kiddo's very particular and individual needs. Hearing your parenting experience gives me so much validation to continue doing what I know is best for my kid and our family despite what others may think. I also like the idea of using an item in the home to help notify each other of where we're at mentally and emotionally, good tip!
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤😊❤😊
@SunnySunshineField
@SunnySunshineField Ай бұрын
Thank You Taylor for the video opening where you let us see & told us that you were struggling with words. This was so helpful to me. Thank you for keeping that in & not editing it out. ❤ Loved the rest of the vid as well. So much useful. Sorry I am struggling with words as well 😊
@rhoward295
@rhoward295 Ай бұрын
Wow, this helps me so much! So many people have complained that I gave my kids, especially the one on the spectrum, a voice to be able to ask for her Mac & cheese different from everybody else. Thank you for the validation!
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤😊❤
@TheDivergentDrummer
@TheDivergentDrummer Ай бұрын
Awesome sauce Taylor. I appreciate you and all you do for the community.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Coming here to check the comments and being reminded over and over again how awesome and supportive this beautiful community is 🥹 thank you
@TheDivergentDrummer
@TheDivergentDrummer Ай бұрын
@@MomontheSpectrum I personally can't thank you enough. I am full of gratitude for the insights that you have provided me, which have allowed me to partially decode my life. I am Diagnosed with Depression and ADHD. Audihd is technically it, my valid diagnosis of this course. I prefer to say, I'm an Aphantastic Twice Exceptional Neurodivergent, and aspiring polymath lol.
@didgegirl6
@didgegirl6 Ай бұрын
WOW! Thank you so much! Ever since I was a kid (I'm 61 now), I've always known I function differently from others but never had the language or context as to why. I've been learning that I'm not the lazy, stupid person I thought I was because I've had trouble navigating through life. Learning these terms has put everything into a different perspective for me especially as a self-employed musician and artist. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You are amazing!!!
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
You’re welcome! And I agree - just knowing terms and vocabulary can make a huge difference! 🙌🏻
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day😊😊😊
@insertnamehere9309
@insertnamehere9309 10 күн бұрын
For anyone that's curious, Ultranauts ks a tech company predominantly run by Autistic individuals. Their whole setup is really neat in terms of welcoming neurodiversity.
@cowsonzambonis6
@cowsonzambonis6 Ай бұрын
LOVE how you said that sensitivity is beautiful- yes, it can be hard in some areas, but it’s amazing in others! ❤
@carolinh111
@carolinh111 Ай бұрын
I needed to hear this today. Thank you!
@erinancientelements
@erinancientelements Ай бұрын
Personally, I wonder if "teenage years" being problematic is simply a person not feeling heard or understood. If you have taught your child acceptance, as it sounds like you have, they may not even go through that "normal" stage of development. I think they are trying to establish themselves as separate individuals and if their foundation is already set with being able to self regulate because mom allows them to have their moment, I think they will feel more safe when trying to explore who they are, and act out less! If your child can articulate "I was overwhelmed, sorry." NOW?? I predict they may have "days" but you are providing them with the tools they will need to be able to transition with more ease. Good job!! Most succumb to the pressure to use the techniques society deems acceptable or "normal." Again, good job mom!! You think about what will help THEM. Not what will make the "problem" go away so you aren't triggered by it. That was how I parented. I found out when I was 40, that I was autistic. By then the damage was done to my kid. Bowing to the pressures of other parents beliefs of what good parenting looked like was detrimental to my child. Now I am parenting with my child only in mind. But I have caused harm to my child. Which we now openly talk about and work through. Be proud you are listening to your children's needs instead of society. They will be all the more stable for it. Teens are humans. If they felt heard, safe, respected.... I don't predict a lot of rocky territory for them or you aside from normal societal pressures. But they KNOW, they have a sanctuary at home, and a mom who accepts them and their "moments."
@OldTimer1970
@OldTimer1970 Ай бұрын
My wife keeps thinking my sons being rude, but I get him and don't think he is, she then gets annoyed and argh. My wife, my son and myself are all learning and it takes a little bit of time.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
I know it can be frustrating/overwhelming to be the only one who "sees" the need the way you do
@OldTimer1970
@OldTimer1970 Ай бұрын
@@MomontheSpectrum one day I'd love to share a video of him telling the most amazing Thomas the Tank Engine story with full rocking movement. He sometimes paces up and down while he's explaining something. When my wife said there's something wrong and she couldn't handle it, I actually got a bit annoyed. I guess to me he's just perfect, but school's the toughest they are trying to be accommodating but the systems all wrong. When we do stuff together he absorbs every little detail, I taught him ratios by using game design, the school said he was having trouble with the subject. Sorry very passionate about my boy as you are your children.
@BlackSeranna
@BlackSeranna Ай бұрын
To protect your son, you can show him what people want as a response. I know this doesn’t solve things for your son but at least he can codify the responses needed to integrate into life until a better plan can be created. Also, it is important to educate your wife on how darn hard it is to be neurodivergent. Ask her if social situations make her heart race as if she has been running a mile nonstop. If she says “no” then she needs to wrap her mind around it - SHE has to learn too!
@OldTimer1970
@OldTimer1970 Ай бұрын
@BlackSeranna thanks, I was diagnosed over a year ago, but wouldn't believe it. Something happened a few weeks ago and my whole perception of everything has changed and I've started my journey, so we're learning together. My wife has health issues so I also need to be aware of that. When she's in pain she tries to hide it or when she's physically exhausted. So I have to take that into consideration too, it can make her a little irritable at times. That's good advice for teaching my son, maybe I can bridge the gap between them when it happens to help them both see each side.
@PsychActually
@PsychActually Ай бұрын
Really great video…I’d love to hear what things you do as a neurodivergent entrepreneur that help you, as well as “failures.” I am currently an AuDHD business owner, too, and I find it’s so hard to get things done when lacking the motivation and inertia. When I don’t get things done I really struggle with feelings of self worth…I’ll find myself feeling like I’m not a “real” adult, a loser and a lazy bum, like I’m not contributing in the way I “should” to my family. I know these things are mega-harsh and not true, and I’m not really reinforcing those feelings with concrete negative self-talk, but the struggle is still real to not feel that way. Obviously something I am trying to sort through, but I’d love to hear if I’m not alone in this and anything that might be helpful to me and anyone else with the same struggle! ❤️❤️❤️
@Meldog1851
@Meldog1851 Ай бұрын
I thoroughly appreciate you publishing this even though you are struggling with words today. I have many days like this and it makes me feel more normal.
@Cultural_chronicles411
@Cultural_chronicles411 Ай бұрын
You are such an inspiration to me, Taylor. I am always so appreciative when you include adhd because along with cPTSD (I haven't been diagnosed as being on the spectrum) but I relate to how you describe your experiences so closely. It's so valuable to me, so thank you❤. I'm in school right now trying to get enough education so I can be my own boss although I have no clue what I'm going to do.
@MomontheSpectrum
@MomontheSpectrum Ай бұрын
Keep going 💪 you’re not alone
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello dear how are you doing 😊😊
@briana9918
@briana9918 27 күн бұрын
A good team leader would be trained in how to manage different types of people. Give time off to neurotypical people when the neurodivergent people are in hyperfocus and redistribute tasks when the neurodivergent folks need rest and isolation. Creating a proportionate distribution of tasks and workload based on strengths of the team members. Also working from home as an option always available should be a must from the beginning for admin tasks or tasks that don't involve other people. Parenting is not only teaching or giving guidance. It's holding space for your children's emotions and emotional co-regulation, meeting sensory needs, helping with boundaries setting and respecting them. It is spending time with them when suitable. It's modelling behaviour and helping with understanding and routine setting and following. Helping with interacting with other children and adults as required. Protecting from danger. Helping them meet their own needs and exploring their needs. What do we need when we're in a meltdown? I'm really struggling with meltdowns and it'd be great to know, please
@tammarataylor8675
@tammarataylor8675 Ай бұрын
Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏🏾
@CraveyMike
@CraveyMike Ай бұрын
Hello beautiful hope you're having a wonderful day ❤😊❤😊
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