How not to have a conversation (Ask more questions!)

[@mariannemaili]

"Be very careful to take advice from someone who hasn't asked you any questions." This is great. Thank you, Conor. The art of conversation is precious.

[@ConorNeill]

Glad it was helpful!

[@lenaalpha456]

Such a wise and at the same time humble person. I'm listening to him for the second time and having learnt to be better... And I definitely like this optimistic mindset.

[@shrijithr9345]

But some people ask questions just for the sake of it. It seems as if they learnt somewhere that asking questions is the way to carry out a conversation where the other person would think you're interested in them and they'd use this hack and just keeping asking questions. I actually hate it when that happens and feel that the person isn't actually interested in what I'm saying. Rather they want to seem that they're interested to make themselves seem like a good listener.

[@nitin484]

Thank you so much for making my Sunday morning beautiful.

[@holt7088]

Thank you for answering in the title. Genius answer. I’ve asked myself this question because I only want to listen & don’t want to talk about myself but definitely want them to know I care & am sincere/engaged.

[@alexanderlyon]

Excellent advice, Conor. I love your ability to read the situation when you're in the role of the teacher in a classroom vs. a person in a conversation.

[@ConorNeill]

Thank you 🙏

[@isusviatanoastra2187]

HI THERE ALEX, HOW CAN I GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU, I WANT TO TRANSLATE YOUR BOOKS IN ROMANIAN AND TO SELL THEM IN ROMANIA?

[@carstenbredahlgjelsten8331]

Thank you Conor ( you seem to be such a good man ❤️ ) Greetings from Copenhagen, Denmark🇩🇰

[@ConorNeill]

I appreciate that!

[@joaonogueirasantos8211]

Awsome advice. I think most people really don't ask question, don't exercise their couriosity. How can we polite say "you shoudl ask more question when you talk", to friends, colleagues, family.?

[@sirajkhoso8564]

Mr Connor, I really appreciate your suggestions. Thanks for bringing lot of changes in me.

[@lroc6272]

Thanks Conor

[@sanjaymehta3410]

The second part was an eye opener. A simple statement but very relevant to me. Thank you....

[@thessrosalin1433]

Self-awareness..thanks for sharing your insights. God bless.

[@wademullis7377]

You are so right Connor. So many people are so self-centered that they can't really have a quality conversation with somebody because all they want to talk about are themselves. I remember two individuals that I tried to have friendships with and we talked at length about a topic yeah it was them their lives their interests. And then after we were done talking about them the friendships came to an end. They failed to see that there was another individual with a whole other set of experiences and history that could have been explored yes that was me but they weren't interested in discussing my life. And you're right about asking questions asking questions is a great way to get people to talk but they also have to understand that they are not the only character in the novel.

[@ahadpashayev8325]

Thanks Connor for sharing such great video, our emotions,ego and fear are not allow us to be interested…always want people get good impression about us, lead them conversation where we have great story to tell them. Probably before asking question from people, we need to learn ask hard and right question from ourselves

[@israrmkhan]

Good morning from India! Very refreshing and interesting!

[@coolfirebleu]

Super stuff Conor as always and enjoyable. How true that advice (not a term I like) has to be person-centred. That means we (I find myself, like you, more the giver than recipient of advice) need to do a lot of listening and often (well in my case anyway) avoid knee-jerk advice. Reflection, ahead of response, is often exponentially valuable in its insight, quality and usefulness. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl But we live in a fast world and (young?) people rarely want the kind of advice that teaches them to fish (rather than offers them a fish on a plate). They want answers … now … in these “feed me immediately” times.

[@Jansher01]

Thank you conor

[@nightshift3720]

Thanks for this, listening can be a powerful tool too.

[@andreadelicata8787]

Golden advice and a great perspective. Thank you for sharing :)

[@cristiangalarza6147]

“Feedback is only helpful if it actually hurt a little bit”. Can I borrow this phrase? Thank you!

[@ConorNeill]

Absolutely!!! Vistage is definitely a place we learn this insight 😜

[@athenrycanadian]

I agree though I find most people only want to talk about themselves and the few that do ask questions are a rarity, in my experience.

[@luticia]

You‘ve always had so many wise thoughts that helped me o my own path. Thank you very much.

[@PropertyReview]

Good video of guidance on conversations, much appreciated

[@Brian-rs4ug]

Great Topic! Thank You for your insight, very helpful. Any book recommendations on becoming more effective at digging deeper with questions?

[@GRASSWITHERS]

Great video! “Be interested not interesting”

[@maxshibanov818]

that's so smart!!!!

[@jonathaneley3651]

Very inciteful 😁

[@publicspeakingbasics]

I always liked what Diogenes said, “We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less”.

[@gamal01]

Do you think a great follow up or part two to this would be how to moderate or manage that questioning process coupled with active listening.

[@sanjaymehta3410]

The problem I have is: When I ask a lot of questions in a meeting (to get input and information); I feel it is perceived as I lack knowledge on that subject or Zi am week or I am not in control of the company. Any thoughts would be welcome...

[@justworship0570]

❤

[@hannaraoul7731]

Yes, very interesting topic. In your opinion, why some don't ask to much questions ?

[@marinaleal6422]

I would add: make your questions in such a way that the other person cannot answer "yes" or "no".

[@HH-hth]

You've got two different topics here. They need separate videos. The conversationalist bit can be tricky if you're someone that doesn't want to answer questions and can't find a way to get people to stop asking them. The advice about mentors is spot on though.

[@amaurimedici8030]

The blurred background and the moving camera was a very very bad combination. It cause motion sickness as the blur adjusts to the movement.

[@ConorNeill]

You are correct, not happy With the filming and tried Final Cut image stabilizer… but it makes me dizzy 😵‍💫

[@eamonnbyrne6162]

Ask question, learn more!

[@deaddrink9150]

What are your thoughts about the economic?

[@RayoBeatz]

What I hate is i'm not making eye contact and i'm keeping to myself minding my own business and almost daily people want to come up to me and talk or ask questions or say stupid shit which pisses me off... and I've tried reading books from robert greene to see if i come across anything that can shed some light on why they do what they do. The best answer I can come up with is that people want to size other people up and if they see someone who looks weak they want to see if they can take advantage of them there's no real reason to say good morning to someone who is 15 feet away from you with their back turned to you and not even remotely aware of your presence or is even slightly familiar with who you even are. this to me hints a need to have power over people to assert your will on others by making them feel obligated to your greeting however I know the only way to deflect this all together is to no respond and walk away without ever even peering at their general direction but it does feel awkward and annoying

[@johnsteffensen6353]

Off topic. You should really shave you head. I know you probably don’t care but you would look awesome. Thanks for your channel and wise words. Greetings from Denmark.

[@ConorNeill]

I did a few years back - first words from my daughter “Put it back!” 🤣

[@johnsteffensen6353]

@@ConorNeill Oh, better to leave it where it is then;) The intellectual look wins😉

[@homes24]

You should make a video on how not to record a video lol

[@marcin3136]

But he was 94 years old... Probably all his LinkedIn colleagues are dead and there is no one to talk to (or maybe the whole family is dead too). I think the Professor lacked perspective.

[@extendedclips]

Curiosity Cured The Cat 🐈 📕

[@ConorNeill]

🐈😹

[@victoriawalker6174]

At 84 He was likely old and lonely. No one to talk with, bottled up for days. You were kind enough to listen. Maybe no one else was

[@ConorNeill]

That is true…

[@nicholasshaw3332]

Hello Conor, wonderful that you shared this episode as these situations happen to all of us. It's startling how many people there are who have lived full lives, had great careers and travelled the world, yet don't know how to have a meaningful conversation. I'm sure you have probably come across this short video before, by Celeste Hadlee, but just in case: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iGLZpJ6fi6mqopY She is funny and light but some of the themes are quite deep. Best wishes, Nicholas

[@RayoBeatz]

just try the parroting technique and if they are dragging along the conversation just tell them "I have to go" and make sure to jump in and blurt it out or they will never stop don't be afraid of feeling bad they'll more than likely go to someone else and do the same thing.