How NOT To Use a Dating App

[@thelexicon7294]

Whenever a truck driver aggressively tells you that they’ve had “an… interesting life” your safest bet statistically is to assume serial killer. Just file that away under “serial killer” and go from there.

[@BronzeDragon133]

Or has required treatment for interactions with numerous lot lizards.

[@AcceptableAsGenerallyDecent]

gotta disappear so he cant make you disappear

[@muckyesyesindisguise3854]

You have been officially upgraded to “KZbinr I have in the background while numbing my mind with games”! 🎉

[@TheJacksonField]

It’s an honour thank you for allowing me to be your second monitor content :’)

[@redwiltshire1816]

You know your going up in life when you become the background noise

[@LiterallyMeRyanGosling-0]

@@TheJacksonField hey bro at 6:24 pretty sure that’s a woman that does onlyfans not a man in the mafia

[@Danndoooo]

@@TheJacksonField have yopu been mewing? you have a very chiseled jawline

[@ZerglingLover]

@@Danndoooohe literally made fun of looksmaxxing. also, you can look at older videos, he’s always had a gigachad jaw

[@mediocre_violist]

I'm 5’1” and the phrase “I prefer extremely petite women” made me want to move to another solar system.

[@crescent-mine]

i read it as 51 and was like HOLDDD UP WHYS GRANDPA WATCHING YOUTU- oh wait he said 5'1

[@TyreseJohn-w8t]

Bro i am 5'3 at 13 how cooked am i

[@crescent-mine]

@@TyreseJohn-w8t probably not cooked like ur probably at least gonna be 5'9 which in all honesty isnt thattt bad

[@NeroDefogger]

understandable, hopefully we achieve that technology soon

[@mediocre_violist]

@@TyreseJohn-w8t I know that you probably didn’t expect a super-long reply, but here it is: it mostly depends on your genetics and hormones, honestly. Full disclosure, I’m actually cis woman (the replies assumed I was a man; I get that a lot when post in certain places, including Jackson’s videos). So for me, 5’1” is shorter than the average female height but not that strange. Since you’re young and worried about your height, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’re a teenage boy. (I know that the boys I was friends at that age were very self-conscious about their height too.) You can consider this reply the kind of advice that you would receive from an aunt or big sister: cis males reach their full adult height around ages 16-18, so you’ve most likely got a few more years of growing left to do. Two years in a row (when I was 13 and then 14) I remember coming back to school from summer break and seeing a bunch of my male classmates who’d grown like three or more inches since I last saw them. However, don’t place your self esteem in something that you can’t control. Don’t tell yourself things like “if I just reach this height then I’ll be happy” or “nobody will want to date me if I stay this short”. Because if you think things like that you will always feel like you’re not good enough even if you do get those things. As for the any romantic relationships you might want now or in the future, height is one of the least important things when it comes to finding a partner. Do some people refuse to date someone below a certain height? Yes, and those people are shallow. Not everyone has silly requirements like that. There are MILLIONS, count them, MILLIONS of boys and men out there under five feet tall who find partners with no problem. I grew up seeing PLENTY of short, Latino men with wives and kids. Danny DeVito is 5’1”, Peter Dinklage is 4’5”, and they both got married and had kids. With all of that being said: eat a balanced diet with lots of nutrients, drink water, get some exercise, make sure you get a good amount of sleep, and stretch. It should help with your growing process and it’s also just good for you. I’ll be genuinely surprised if anyone actually reads this long-ass reply on a comment that I wrote 10 months ago, lol.

[@thedevicebook]

"Professionals" or "pros" is sometimes a euphemism for prostitute. I feel like it's older slang though, given I heard it on a Golden Girls episode. These days you're more likely to see someone on the apps say they don't want a partner with an Only Fans account.

[@thedevicebook]

Obviously I left that comment early in the video so now... 🔥 (I finished the vid!)

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

Yeah, small town it's definetly that. Not completely unusual for workers to set their radius _very_ high, and if you live in a small town that might be the only matches you get.

[@oklart377]

As a 31 year old man Id seriously rather die alone than meet someone on tinder.

[@iciclearms]

Local dating services are the way to go

[@aaronaaronsen3360]

Well at least you won't have lost time on tinder, cause I can tell you, this app thrives on making people miserable in order to sell their premium subscription.

[@NeroDefogger]

I'm 22 but same

[@The_Lonely_Wizard]

6:05 we must stop this discrimination against lizards!

[@flaviumihai2889]

You look like box

[@The_Lonely_Wizard]

@@flaviumihai2889 box has mentioned that, it's just a character from insryption

[@xanmiddents6207]

He's so handsome!

[@Meonge6089]

"im in the hospital" must have fell from heaven.

[@isagf4804]

Underrated 😂

[@Yodalemos]

I know that to most of us out of touch non dating-app users their language is incomprehensible, but I'm pretty sure that with "professionals" he means prostitutes using the app to solicit.

[@Stolensweetroll1]

Providing me with content to watch at 2 in the morning, keep up the good work

[@Angie13133]

Wait....so "well I'm in a hospital right now" is not an appropriate response? Damn....🔥

[@Theradiodemon-o4w]

🔥

[@niesoxen3200]

did you fell from the heaven?

[@redwiltshire1816]

O it’s perfect and if they don’t make a pun or ask if your ok skip

[@noobamstard4179]

🔥

[@josephjoestarsthirdwife]

Yeah that’s probably the most notable thing in that person’s life rn only makes sense to be honest

[@JepTheLegend]

According to wikipedia there have been 29 people in history who were 8ft tall, 6 of which are currently alive, so she definitely has a chance at least.

[@LookingGlass1865]

"Professional" literally just means someone who has a paid occupation. Saying you don't want any professionals is essentially saying you don't want any adults.

[@Ssdgg8]

Wouldn't be surprised because of the last comment he had added🙃

[@AveragePootis]

Im so happy i decided to watch your channel beyond the shorts

[@Discerned_]

Be sure anyone you meet up with isn't a wizard who will take your bone(s). 💀

[@BronzeDragon133]

I'd rather they were into my staff.

[@MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

The truck driver who didnt want a professional was referring to sex workers. There are tons of people on dating apps who demand you "pay for gas" for them to meet you. It's their ignorant way of hoping it wont get them caught for breaking the law by demanding cash to meet up.

[@Melanie_M]

As someone who was on Bumble for a while, this video is therapy. Much.needed.therapy.

[@VideoBeertje]

03:15 The problem with that is that most people I see on dating apps have (almost) empty bios and you can't always see things on their photos, so I'm hoping that by putting my 3 biggest no's, they will swipe themselves left (if they even read my bio) and I will have less disappointing matches. Of course it shouldn't be the first or only thing you put in your bio though and often you can phrase it in a more positive way ("I don't want a loner" --> "Looking for someone who's outgoing"). Edit: The dating app I use luckily has a word limit of 1000 characters, so that helps! 🔥

[@Dead8Head]

What's the app

[@Dodge_this]

Idk why but this dude would make a good young gandalf

[@ttm3622]

Me when I learn how to use member emojis:

[@hjumn]

It doesn't have the membership star next to your name. How?

[@Its_A_Real_Goose]

​@@hjumnThe membership expired.

[@jonahfarner5273]

Corse bro uploads this at midnight, he is hoping to catch some of those rare nocturnal baddies

[@thelexicon7294]

Rare nocturnal baddies and an even badder sort: common daytime Europeans

[@jonahfarner5273]

@@thelexicon7294 of course, how could I forget

[@thefoolishkat]

the handrails pullover got me

[@vulpineechoes]

this was definitely a Ride to watch after having been awake for 30+ hours lmao, people do be wildin 🔥🔥

[@fhernok]

4:48 The… The “Yes ma’am” 😭🦋🦋🦋🦋

[@Eternity-l7m]

Why not miss

[@redwiltshire1816]

A lot of people of dating apps are pretty calculating and trust me I know a lot about calculators

[@timetraveler7]

Oh yeah? Name every calculator then....

[@armadillito]

"What do you do for work?" is often a way to start a very dull conversation, to be fair.

[@SkyPerson]

I’d like to know, how would you open a conversation?

[@armadillito]

@@SkyPerson I never said I wasn't dull

[@zatzu]

@@SkyPerson Hobbies would be better than work convos

[@k1ss4fr0g]

i matched with a guy on tinder once who did it just to tell me i was ugly. i replied "ok?" and he unmatched me. there are some interesting specimens on these apps.

[@rompevuevitos222]

I am sure they were a very secure person fr fr

[@renm4779]

One guy matched just to tell me I look jewish

[@moonshine3863]

my friend doesn't like music and his car is always quiet. I'm 95% sure he is a lizard person

[@537zun4]

4:54 I still believe that this is self sabotage; if he would be interested in living out his fantasies he could also do it in a less creepy way, exchange every wordafter titty with "then I would want to know your depeest desires and fulfill them with each other. " don't get me wrong, its still very out there but it is something from which the dialogue could continue (hevily relying on the hornyness of the other but not reducing thwm or yourself to animalistic behavior or atleast some that feels animalistic.)

[@Poagoo]

I’ve been waiting for you to react to dating apps again. I’m so happy.

[@whimai412]

@12:00 like two healthy kidneys... Am I Charlie the unicorn, cuz I might loose 1 or 2 with that description.

[@dont-worry-about-it-]

To be fair, i put stuff i don't like in my dating profile along with stuff i do like, but that's mostly so other people don't waste their time. I have a ton of hobbies and interests, but to most people on dating apps, I assume I'm pretty boring because i don't go to parties, drink, smoke, or other illicit things, so i have those in my profile so they know I'm not interested if they'd want to do those things together

[@shadowwolf12398]

8:50 The Gmod death sound killed me

[@rodgerswife]

I just discovered this channel and I LOVE THIS i am currently crafting while listening/half watching this, thank you

[@nitroplasma788]

11:49 bro its funnier when you consider that the tallest man alive is 8'1

[@Miltman69]

As a lizard person from the shadow government the part at 6:04 was very offensive to me and my shadow government co workers 🦎

[@GrimGriefer5]

Thanks, now i know how to use dating apps 🙂👍 🔥

[@0xmegsx0]

Got a bumble ad while watching this 😭😭

[@MusicMyBeloved]

Same but I got a tinder ad lol 😅

[@Zoe.m.]

I tried dating apps... they were a nightmare. Men on there are there to bang and that's it. I don't recommend any woman with low self esteem go on these sites because they will manipulative you, put you down and make you feel worse than you did alone. It's better to meet someone where you can get to know eachother passively without the underlying expectations. I'm just thankful that i no longer have to face the dating hellscape anymore.

[@rompevuevitos222]

Dating apps are infamously unfriendly for women.

[@NeistovayaChupacabra]

Oh god, i'm unironically thought tinder was such crazy only in Russia. But it seems males the same everywhere😂 thank universe, i'm into ladies.

[@thesewinggeekmiri9029]

11:25 10+/10 music choice, hat's off to you

[@JBRAI22]

I thought the thumbnail was meant to be a butt💀💀

[@Lukeisaloser]

i understand the reference on his jacket

[@Liam-w3j3v]

The Handrails sweatshirt is so good😂😂😂

[@agustinthierry6719]

Man I love your videos and your humor 🔥

[@Anish_B]

11:27 gotta love the soulja boy cotton eye joe

[@MARVINthe1]

I don’t need a fire emoji because this channel is already fire

[@crunchyoghurt]

Bro's literally crackle from Carmen Sandiego

[@clara3858]

OMG. Now I cannot unsee it for the life of me 😅

[@IsobelDeLeon]

what's up milkers is actually so funny HAHAHAHAHA

[@miniongeorge60]

6:22 that’s actually pretty normal for places outside of the US. Most of the world when people ask what you do, they don’t mean your job, they usually mean hobbies/interests

[@RedPandaKT]

11:48 sis is looking to date Frankenstein's Creature 😂

[@nebricback1430]

Always enjoy these

[@BestLaginator]

6:01 this is such a handsome fella, the haters got him banned , justice for mr lizard ✊️

[@jediptjedipt7594]

"Two healthy kidneys" 💀

[@mismatchingshoes5249]

has bro been looksmaxing jesus

[@zsfekete5211]

For me the first profile's second photo (4:14) didn't invoke "see, this is how he looks" thought, rather.... confusion. He said he doesn't want to raise the partner's kids. His profile says he doesn'T want kids. Then why have 1 of his 4 pictures one where he's reading for a kid? Your photos should reflect who you are and be attractive to potential partners. The people who find pictures where one is being a good uncle-figure are not those who are looking for someone who doesn't want kids.

[@EliteDrillChad]

The exact frame he uses for thumbnail 5:02

[@annoyingkraken]

Love these! 🔥

[@jenh101]

6:42 Doesn’t mean I like electricity, in fact, it really hurts… when you touch it 😂

[@JY-JM]

I once had an algebra teacher who said that her and her husband didn't listen to music at all unless it was Christmas time. Besides that, her house was quiet the whole time throughout the year.

[@New-n1e6l]

Sounds peaceful

[@HaileyKelton]

I got a bumble ad watching this 😭😭

[@cassideeznutz7]

1:06 "Drake's got nothing on this guy" 😭😭😭😭

[@Yourmamster]

I love it 😂

[@BebbaDubbs]

Jackson not understanding "professional" 😅

[@C_SonicDude]

🔥 Dating apps be wildin’ as always

[@loottgoblinn]

i love your videos man!

[@rompevuevitos222]

I was here before the thumbnail was censored

[@juhis5936]

I see on tinder a lot of "I like good food" like yea no shit is there anyone in the world who doesn't like good food?

[@floefloe9502]

When you were saying no one hates music you literally recreated my reaction when my sister plays music. 🙏🙏

[@SockMan-th6en]

I love how he decides to say something in a tone and makes fun of the tone he made lol

[@Queen_Coda]

1:12 hey not true! I met my wife on bumble

[@andy_mir]

"I feel like Abigail's describing her ex husband" - or her 1 daughter.

[@Glorbocuslos]

How dare Tinder ban this esteemed scaly gentleman he just wanted to show you his Oreo >:(

[@Night_hawk0700]

Aby is smoking that zaza

[@ALotOfNothing_TV]

Nice hoodie 🔥🔥🔥

[@andy_mir]

Ye, oke, I like the LudStyle, you still have your own spin on it. Kudos.

[@ColeZmijski]

I rather die alone than use a dating app

[@naturewaving3897]

making sure to do the complete opposite of everything in this video so i have a chance with jackson

[@snipingsloth1053]

2:35 I mean funny but I think it’s pretty obvious what type of professional they’re referring to. You can’t have 5 matches without at least 3 just trying to sell an onlyfans or literally selling their body

[@michaelsimmons8613]

"Two healthy kidneys" damn and i was so close at ten feet tall and juggling cars.

[@frozenpods]

ur videos are amazing 😂

[@denzellwalls564]

That Beethoven line was gold

[@rileyfairfull2548]

The profiles in this video gave me black lung

[@mystickiwi2329]

I met you in my dream last night. Tried to say i was a huge fan but you didn’t hear me 🔥🔥

[@ilopollo]

The one and only Jackson The Chad Field🔥

[@HannahBananarama1]

Don't know how to do fire emoji on browser but loved the content!!

[@mewziikal8331]

Loved this video, btw can I send you something ? 😇

[@Figster_]

No words to describe this🔥

[@SaucedUpStinkyGrandpa]

People should really watch your long form videos. It’s MORE of you. At least more people should see you

[@UniversalSphere]

0:09 I wish I didn’t, I am now traumatized by pregnant sonic

[@isabelleambrose9293]

i may be too young to be on tinder but this is quality entertainment

[@SmickyD]

My rule of thumb is she only gets to go home to get family if she gets at least 20 "human score"

[@meepthewizard1240]

JACKSON JUST DROPPED A NEW VIDEO 🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@theomuammar3772]

11:48 8 feet tall is absolutely massive for humans! That's 244cm. That's about the height of a standard door, or the length of a pool table. This height is so rare it is typically only seen in people with certain medical conditions such as gigantism. Historically, only a handful of individuals have ever been documented to reach or exceed 8 feet in height. As of recent data, there are very few living individuals who are confirmed to be taller than 8 feet. So what does this person expect?

[@Funment2]

Electricity hurts when you touch it?? Shocking

[@BlueToothGrenade]

4 minutes ago! I may not be Australian but I sure sleep at the same time as them.

[@vingroenewegen5781]

theres like six people alive that are over or are 8 feet tall

[@SirSquier]

Leading with what you dont want is great, avoids wasting time later.

[@ghostgamer513]

This video was 🔥

[@Stuff835]

My eyes have been burned up

[@NotSpoiledMilk]

8:37 actually it also could be him holding the cut off hand from a dead body and wearing a ring that was on the cut off hand😊

[@fxn09here]

Your video got me through 12 minutes and 47 seconds