How "Practicing Gratitude" can be Toxic!

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[@funkmastergeneral3535]

Usually when someone tells you to "be grateful," what they are really telling you is to "be quiet."

[@geekgroupie42]

Well said Funkmaster General

[@thunderbird3304]

You hit the nail on the head. They don't want you to complain, at all, no matter how valid those complaints are, because "that's not what grateful people do"

[@jemolk8945]

@Cheeto Licker Feel free to lead by example.

[@Fantallana]

@Cheeto Licker you misspelled the word “boot” in your username as “Cheeto” for some reason, you should really fix that typo.

[@Fantallana]

What are the chances of this- The day before this video was posted, some students in my class brought up how socialism would be better than capitalism, and this one student started angrily spouting how we should be “grateful” we don’t live in Venezuela, Somalia, or North Korea. I brought up that people should be allowed to criticize the place they live, as that’s the only way things get better. He responded that he just thinks we should be grateful for what we do have, is all. Yeah, in this context?... “Be grateful” really does just mean “be quiet,” huh.

[@nunyabusiness1232]

"Be grateful, things can always be worse," An evergreen comeback to this is: With a little imagination, things could be better.

[@chaotickreg7024]

You should be grateful, because I could actually be complaining a lot louder and demanding a lot more.

[@Taydris0]

WREKT :D

[@marocat4749]

Doesnt work if society is ruled by people that definitly not know how grateful they should be to be that fortunate in a position. If rich people who cant be grateful, Yeah its shaming of less fortunate, not that aprecistion isnt good per se, but thats a shaming tactic. Why dont rich people give up enough to really let everyone be human treated and supported, it could be worse? Also less toxic for everyone, including rich people. And really be grateful to others?!

[@WraithMagus]

Yet you participate in society. Curious! I am very intelligent.

[@theystoleitfromus]

Always take a moment to see how the faux-profound can be rephrased. Another personal favourite: "there but for the grace of God go I" --> "there, by the grace of God, goes somebody else".

[@industrialalliance9905]

I got released from the emergency room after a suicidal spiral not too long ago. And literally all the nurses and even the psychiatrist were telling me to practice gratitude. Honestly what was more annoying was how they kept using people in desperate situations to guilt trip me. People in dire circumstances aren't gratitude bait they are evidence that the system is failing and the point of our empathy should be to inspire us to take action to make sure others don't have to experience that suffering and when I told that to the nurses I got rolled eyes back.

[@dosbilliam]

For what it's worth, I'm glad you're still around to type this comment. ^__^

[@eb2470]

I got blackout at work from suicidal feelings because of the job. Got sent to the mental hospital and was fed this gratitude shit. The only thing that is helping me is realizing that I have accepted too much of what others wanted and said to me. That I need to change things.

[@valeriamissalinabembry4164]

The “eye rollers” are part of the problem. I notice that those who respond that way when people express either ideas or feelings that challenge the status quo or fixed mindsets, are trying to shut down the dialogue rather than engage. Also, that fact you were treated that way in an emergency room setting is appalling and I’m so sorry you experienced that.

[@Miglow]

I've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation much of my life. For many years I felt incredibly guilty because much of my life was better than many. Why the F should I be sad when other people have it demonstrably worse than me? It wasn't till one friend of mine told me that the struggles other people experience don't invalidate my own. They basically gave me permission to feel like emotional crap without the extra burden of feeling guilty on top of it. Holy cow what a revelation. It didn't fix my depression but it definitely eased one issue that was making my depression worse.

[@SgtKaneGunlock]

they key to practicing gratitude is not to compare your self to others that will fuck you up pretty bad instead focus on things YOU personally feel gratitude towards it can be anything really there are (mostly) no wrong answers

[@TexanWineAunt]

Now do “forgiveness”. That’s also toxic positivity code for “hide your anger after you are mistreated, it makes others uncomfortable.”

[@johannageisel5390]

"I will forgive you/them after I ate your/their bleeding heart and carved a goblet out of your/their skull."

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

I'll never forgive nor forget. They don't deserve either, because they'll never even consider doing the same for me. And the difference between me and them is that they actually did things to make me angry in the first place, unlike me, who they invented slights for me to perform on them.

[@donov25]

Oof big nope for me pal. You don't have to forgive anyone you don't want to but that is not what forgiveness is.

[@mechanomics2649]

@@donov25 But that is what people often mean when they say it.

[@snigwithasword1284]

I see both sides of the good people here, don't ever forgive your boss, but don't be petty with the real people in your life.

[@jesstar1000]

oof this is bringing me back to my old prof who openly picked favorites in class, denied accommodations to disabled/nd students, and misgendered me constantly after multiple reminders, who once took me aside to chide me for being so Miserable all the time. the ability to not only practice that kind of aggressive positivity but demand others do the same is definitely a mark of privilege.

[@rodrigosoto4827]

Yeah. Also, people like that refuse to be accountable for their behavior. They're like "yeah, I treat you like shit, but you should be grateful that I haven't killed you or something".

[@anishinaabae]

@@rodrigosoto4827 it's no wonder why modern civilization has such a raging erection for victim-blaming. this cruel and uncaring system could not thrive in the manner it does without it!

[@recreant359]

@@anishinaabae personal responsibility

[@jesstar1000]

@@rodrigosoto4827 yes and often also "yeah i treat you like shit, but you refusing to grin and bear it is upsetting to ME, so whos really at fault" 🤔

[@anishinaabae]

@@recreant359 a big component of my personal responsibility is making the lives of other people better in whatever ways with whatever means i have. if more people felt the same sense of responsibility, then individualism would rot away like the bloated festering corpse it is.

[@ane3sha]

“and grateful people don’t make themselves victims” hit me like a baseball bat at the end 😭 its unbelievable how they manage to fit this idea into any and every discussion

[@MolecularMachine]

"Stop making me uncomfortable by demanding equality! You're not oppressed; I'm oppressed!!!"

[@CrowTR0bot]

"Stop making yourself a victim! I'm more than capable of doing that for you!"

[@limitedtime5471]

It's really great how people who have been victimized then get crapped on for saying anything about it 😑

[@vappyreon1176]

I hate the victim argument from right wingers if someone like a victim of they feel like one you should maybe actually look at the situation first before you dismiss

[@dynamicbanteranimated8411]

Gratitude breeds complacency, don’t let them convince you to “be grateful” for our current society because “it could always be worse”

[@Praisethesunson]

It's the same old Pinker propaganda with a new age twist.

[@gizmodobaggins7040]

I always found that super threatening. Like "stop complaining or we'll make it even worse" which is what they actually mean.

[@annaandersen51]

I would argue that truly being grateful for what we have achieved *requires* us to always be striving for better; otherwise we are simply throwing away the progress that got us to now

[@fluffycritter]

I am so fed up with people dismissing my problems with “well it could be worse.” Sure, it could. But that doesn’t mean things shouldn’t be better!

[@alexanderperez5636]

@@annaandersen51 Bingo

[@dunjunart]

Hearing Dennis Prager say the word "grateful" just makes me more certain than I already was that he rants constantly about "ungrateful fucking peasants".

[@MisterNym]

A wise person once told me "Whether it's a river or a puddle, we're all drowning." Suffering is valid, and comparing suffering results in things like this, the whole weaponization of gratitude.

[@anishinaabae]

"but it takes one person's hand to be lifted from the puddle, whereas a river requires a boat and someone capable enough to steer it." a great saying for this particular situation, but it still doesn't change the fact that different people have different needs, and it's better to tend to a shotgun wound before addressing a cut. the comparison of suffering is not the issue here, it's the cold indifference our society has to any and all suffering, period.

[@MisterNym]

@@anishinaabae No doubt, but my comment was specifically about interpersonal addressing of issues. Societally I'm doing fine, but interpersonally I'm in need of help, and acting like I'm not or comparing my own suffering negatively to others' in conversation (what got this person to say this to me) does no one any good and makes my suffering feel invalid to myself. The point of my comment was addressing how people are taught and manipulated by our society and how that draws itself into our interpersonal lives. It's self evident that some people need more help than I do. That doesn't mean I don't also need help.

[@marocat4749]

Yeah i mean it can be weirdly good seeing people have it worse, but i think thats more about being less alone, and if that person can survive that insane traumas, as motivation. As sharing experiences, not a contest. Any problem there is valid, just that an entitled karen attitude, is another thing. And its valid to feel bad and need help even if people genuinly had extreme dramatic life stories, doesnt make you less suffering and deserving help.

[@anishinaabae]

@@MisterNym i understand and i agree with you. i was just responding to the part where you said comparing degrees of suffering is what causes this mentality to fester, because i don't believe it's the comparison of suffering that brings about this kind of mentality, it's the fact that society isn't compassionate to suffering regardless of its amount. they'd just rather not hear anyone complain at all.

[@pinkdruidess6236]

I actually had two coworkers (yes, two, I felt very ganged up on) tell me that my mother gave herself brain cancer by having negative thoughts. When this made me cry, they doubled down. Talking about all the illnesses that are caused by an abundance of negative thoughts. That's how pervasive this thought process is. There really are people out there that believe you can make yourself terminally ill simply by being ungrateful or being unhappy. They will also make sure you know that if someone in your life is suffering, they chose it by being a bad person inside. And it makes me want to explode.

[@johannageisel5390]

That's horrible! Sorry you had to deal with these delusional assholes.

[@pinkdruidess6236]

@@johannageisel5390 Thank you. It felt good to see a video confronting this idea because I've seen just how toxic it can be.

[@flask223]

Bad things happen to good people for no reason

[@lyndonwesthaven6623]

Bet you they've read the Secret, that's literally spelled out in that insidious piece of garbage

[@Sonichero151]

It must have taken you a truly massive amount of courageous and willpower to have not immediately made them swallow each other's teeth after they said that to you.

[@theystoleitfromus]

Dennis Prager seems awfully ungrateful that there are people with different opinions to his who have effectively given him such a lucrative job opportunity.

[@alisaurus4224]

He is the smuggest of ghouls Also a rancid assflap

[@GenerationX1984]

Dennis Prager is a rich guy begging for tax cuts for the rich. That's what his whole agenda boils down to.

[@charlottemartyr]

I’m currently in therapy finally dealing with PTSD and depression that stems mostly from an abusive childhood. I remember when I was young I tried to express that I was depressed and anxious and generally suffering bc of the way my mother treated me. She responded with “well I could have chosen not to have you or smothered you when you were a baby, so you should suck it up and be grateful to be alive”. This is the large scale version of that same statement and it bothers me that people rightfully see that notion as monstrous when it’s coming from a single abuser to a single victim but as an accepted and even healthy norm when it’s coming from a whole group of abusers to a whole group of victims....

[@WikiSorcerer]

It's ironic that the society that wants us all to be complacent for the things we have is also a society that encourages greed and selfishness in those who have everything.

[@Praisethesunson]

Change is for closers! -Capitalism

[@zenogias01]

It's just a way of getting the slaves to STFU and not rise up against the ruling class.

[@marocat4749]

Thats a feature, not a bug

[@jonathanmarth6426]

Medieval peasants were also supposed to not have aspirations beyond their station. While the lords got to start wars to expand their domains. The only difference is that back then they took the land from other lords, while today they are divvying up whatever the middle and lower classes have left. At least for now. After that we get corporate warfare.

[@Praisethesunson]

@@zenogias01 That is 100% the correct answer. For secular atheist rabble there is Pinker's brand of propaganda. For new age spiritual rabble. There is this stuff. The ruling class funds the throwing of as much of this kind of shit at the wall and seeing what sticks to the rabble.

[@sockpuppetqueen]

Yeah, as a therapist, when I encourage people to be grateful (like, doing a gratitude journal), I try to make it very clear that I'm talking about stuff like... taking the time to reflect on your day and consider what you appreciate about the things you enjoy, like that your dog is cute, or that you really love the tea you had this morning- not to placate people, but because it improves people's moods, and that's... generally desirable. Being dissatisfied is necessary to make change, but being totally discouraged by an overwhelmingly awful world makes it very hard to do much of anything. And I don't recommend it for people who are currently too depressed to reliably do it, because that's not a helpful intervention for that presentation of symptoms. I frequently get into spirited discussions with fellow therapists who somehow don't seem to, uh, get any of that. So that's not great.

[@davidr7996]

Absolutely true. I'm studying to be a therapist right now and I'm learning a lot of techniques on how to help people. And you know what's not there? Tips and tricks on how to gaslight people into always feeling happy. Weird that.

[@andersrhys9140]

I wish more people understood that some things that help depression just don't work at advanced stages. Can't notice the things that are good if everything feels bad

[@sockpuppetqueen]

@@davidr7996 I know there's little point in directly arguing with the comment above me, about cbt or mindfulness or the validity of the field of mental health, but since you're still studying, I actually think it would be helpful if I directed a few thoughts on the subject to you! Sorry if this is overstepping, but tbh, a lot of therapists DO seem to practice CBT in a gaslighty way, and before I started grad school I really thought that CBT was essentially blaming people for their own depression, and that is very far from how I utilize those interventions! So I worry that maybe they're being taught irresponsibly, like, across the board. I use elements of CBT to assist clients in thinking things that are true, and not thinking things that are untrue- if their situation is bad, like because of systematic oppression, I bolster their understanding of that truth, and strip away related untruths, like "I deserve to be treated in this way" or "the world is just, and bad things only happen to bad people", which are extremely common reactions to abuse or oppression. I always go into a CBT exercise with an explanation like "you know your situation better than I do, so I just want to help figure out if this [thought, thing you're worried about, etc]. makes sense. It's entirely possible you're totally right! But this sounds like it might tie into [existing anxiety or whatever, that they've already acknowledged]. Let's take a look at the evidence for and against it". It's really important to also consider what evidence the client has that's supporting their thought or belief, because even if their conclusion is untrue, they're arriving there for a reason, they're not just pulling stuff outta their ass- I see a lot of worksheets skip this step, and no wonder people think CBT is gaslighting, when you go into it under the assumption that your client is wrong by default! I really just always come back to- I want clients to think things that are true, and not think things that are untrue, and THEY are the experts on their own experiences, so whatever they decide is true after we unpack the situation, I take their word for (within reason, like if no delusion is present, or if they're not trying to convince me that I should tooootally let them hurt themselves- like, sorry, buddy, you're never gonna get me to agree with that conclusion). And yes, there have been plenty of times when, after looking at the evidence for and against, a client has gone "huh, yeah, you know what, this IS a valid concern", and that can be so validating, if you're a person (especially someone marginalized) who's really used to feeling unreasonable or irrational for feeling unhappy about things. I also don't friggin use CBT in situations that don't call for it, god it drives me nuts how agencies will try and make you use it as a first line treatment for EVERYONE. It's not gonna help if their problem is grief or schizophrenia or whatever, or if their personality isn't, you know, fairly analytical- I use it a lot on like medical professionals, cause they tend to like approaching things in a systemic and formulaic way. I don't use it on someone in the middle of a dissociative episode! Like wow, medical intervention is ineffective for conditions it isn't intended to treat? Alert the fuckin' presses, my god. Try not to get stuck working somewhere that will try to make you do that, it's bullshit. Again, I know you super didn't ask for the lecture, but it really bothers me how infrequently I see aaaaanyone with a nuanced take on the whole "cbt as gaslighting" thing, including other therapists! So. Like. Enjoy........? 🤷‍♀️

[@CuriousKey]

The interesting issue there is that all those examples you listed? Those are examples of appreciation, not gratitude. For example, who do you "thank" for your dog being cute? No one. You just appreciate that it's pretty neat that they are. Same with a cool sunset, or really most positive experiences of that kind. That appreciation is really important in all the ways you list - it can really help shift a person into a better place emotionally to try and appreciate things in their life. But it doesn't have to be called gratitude, in a way that directly opposes that state of mind to feeling dissatisfied with injustices. You can be dissatisfied with your life, and still appreciate it. But it's hard to be disgruntled and grateful at the same time. So I'd say even framing it as gratitude is potentially introducing problems you don't need to introduce.

[@sockpuppetqueen]

@@CuriousKey hey you know what, that's so interesting, I hadn't even thought of that- "gratitude journaling" is just like, what the activity was already called, so it's what I've been going with (I hadn't really given it that much thought), but tbh appreciation is actually just, a lot closer to what I'm going for. It's a subtle difference, and I think people use them to mean the same thing a lot, but yeah no that's actually better all around. I'm legit gonna think about how to shift around how I talk about this, when it comes up.

[@CrabExposedToDeltaP]

From the bottom of my heart thank GOD someone else is saying this!

[@caseyw.6550]

Truly.

[@Maphisto86]

Oh no! That's gratitude! : O ; )

[@manboy4720]

i'm grateful for this slimy channel.

[@slimetime5666]

SO TRUE

[@nicholascross5093]

Same. Also Peters eyes look nice 😊

[@IstherLord]

I always thought that "Be grateful, things could be worse" has a vaguely threatening aura

[@rn6312]

Add "or else" to that.

[@YouthRightsRadical]

It's intended as a threat. Just like "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about".

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

​@@YouthRightsRadical I was about to say the same thing.

[@hevalemin6520]

Being grateful is great; telling others to be grateful is dogshit. Being calm is great; telling others to calm down is not usually helpful. Also I enjoy the stupid pink lamps but not as much as I enjoy those glasses on Mildred, that's a good look.

[@argonnas01]

in all the history of calming down, the phrase "calm down" was unhelpful every time.

[@invertedtritone]

Okay wow this video REALLY hit different. I've spent my whole life just sucking it up and putting up with all kinds of abuse because of these attitudes -- to the point where I'm afraid to let people buy me things or do me favours, because I just KNOW they'll hold it all over my head as an example of how it "could be worse". Like, "oh, I know you have crippling depression and a history of trauma, but I helped you with your classwork this one (1) time. So shut up and be grateful, damn it." I've never seen anyone else speak out against this kind of attitude, or even thought this hard about how much it fucked me up as a child, to the point where the thought of asking for help leaves me absolutely terrified of this exact kind of abuse/gaslighting. So genuinely, thank you for this.

[@bat6353]

The implication that someone is a bad person for wanting anything in their life to be better is just Prager saying the quiet part out loud. "Shut up and take it, peasant!"

[@hotfishdev]

Easy for a billionaire to feel grateful, you know

[@refundreplay]

That's a weird way of looking at things.

[@cactustactics]

@@hotfishdev and yet if you wish him happy holidays he's not grateful at all!

[@andrewkohler3707]

@@cactustactics Even though he doesn't even celebrate Christmas.... Anyhow, the proper response to people being upset with "happy holidays" is, of course, "I'm so sorry! I sincerely hope your holidays are miserable."

[@k80_]

The beatings will continue until gratitude increases

[@JustJen1386]

As someone who used gratitude to gaslight myself into believing I wasn’t in an extremely bad life situation, it can absolutely be used to blind us to reality

[@MrLeafeater]

"Be grateful." has been used more like a threat, in my life.

[@eveningchaos1]

Reminds me of "The Secret" but repackaged. The idea that you are responsible for your circumstances based on what kind of attitude you have or what "energy" you put out in the world is toxic to say the least.

[@cheesebatto]

my dad was forced to listen to a bunch of audiobooks talking about that at work, but like in the most extreme sense. i remember him showing me a bit that was literally saying things like "if you think really hard that you're rich you will become rich" like _hello????_

[@sasak369]

I feel like the truth people try to get at when they talk about gratitude is that it does make life better to try and appreciate the small things, like getting to pet a cat or eating a good sandwich, but the implication when people talk about "practicing gratitude" seems to be that if you're unhappy for whichever reason, you're an ungrateful spoiled brat, which is not true.

[@grmpEqweer]

Right.

[@joshs2734]

For not being conservative, Goop sounds pretty conservative. This is an interesting topic that I've struggled with forever. I've had severe Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety for most of my life. Every second of every day I battle with just wanting to give up. To stop fighting the pain, fear and trauma. But quite often I'll think "Why are you so unhappy? You have food, clean water, shelter, internet access and you're healthy. There are millions of people starving and freezing to death under a bench right now. Or people who were born with debilitating disabilities. What right do you have to complain??" I have to remind myself that other people's pain does not magically lessen your own. You are allowed to be deeply unhappy while also acknowledging that others may also be struggling or have it worse.

[@zoe_bee]

I am LOVING the new set! (oh, and the video is cool too, I guess)

[@babygorilla4233]

HEY! Who let you out of the eyeball zone?

[@ismathers]

This was actually the first video where my brain realized that we weren't in the sewers anymore, which... I don't know why I had the unconscious assumption before that it was still the default?

[@blarg2429]

Oh hey, a content creator I recognize. Neat.

[@danubeisreallypeculiarrive7944]

@@babygorilla4233 You just have to flash light into Oculons sexy eye. Now I have to run before eyeball cult catches me. Bye.

[@babygorilla4233]

@@danubeisreallypeculiarrive7944 will a lazer pointer do?

[@maggieallen5985]

The Book of Job comes to mind when you talk about this. Everything in his life gets taken away and he is made miserable (basically for no reason, when you get right down to it), but he’s a “good person” because he still prays to God and thanks Him.

[@auldthymer]

And God said "Psyche! I was just testing 'ya"

[@alisaurus4224]

My favorite part of the Job story is how God kills (or allows Satan to kill, but same difference) his 14 children, and in the Happy Ending™️ they aren’t restored to life, but replaced with new ones. As an example of God’s merciful blessings. Hooray…?

[@born2hula325]

They 100% DID have to mention you shouldn't use the egg while it's scalding hot. Every customer already fell for the ol' "Jade Cooter Slammer" scam, they're not immune to mistakes.

[@Smeleln]

I'm glad they sort of try to mitigate the porous quality of the jade with half hearted sterilisation instructions and tbf every insertable item should be sterilised/cleaned after purchase but still kinda funny the way they gently urge the buyer to sterilise this fucking vagina rock of any probably bacteria, without actually saying it

[@zak8340]

"You can't be a good person if you aren't grateful. Grateful people aren't angry and they don't see themselves as victims." damn, guess the angry people behind PragerU who see themselves as victims aren't good people.

[@andrewkohler3707]

Underrated comment!! I love it when people like Prager accidentally own themselves.

[@vengertheforceofinconvenie7377]

It’s definitely true that hearing Dennis “Urine and Feces” Prager tell me to do something makes me want to avoid doing said thing primarily out of spite

[@philgodin6493]

Out of spite or sound judgment.

[@chaotickreg7024]

My "Anti-Prager Bias" is so hard set that even his pronounciation of "urine and feces" briefly makes me want to argue in favor of toilet filth.

[@ItWasBetterBefore]

Dear Mr. Prager, I look forward to your video expressing gratitude for the Biden presidency.

[@waltercunningham494]

Liberals like yourself live out of spite, which is why you’re so miserable.

[@technopoptart]

@@waltercunningham494 'coz you seem to be doing so well x''D

[@eSporks]

This sort of Toxic gratitude is also used by people to avoid accountability and gaslight those they have wronged. "I don't know why you are upset with me, you need to stop being a victim and just be grateful for what you have."

[@menjolno]

being grateful is the opposite of "facts don't care about your feelings"

[@tibiademon9157]

Facts ONLY care about your feelings!

[@_doop8257]

conservatives and cognitive dissonance name a more iconic duo

[@Robot_Eva]

Yes, they're hypocrites who just use argument and bullying to get what they want, no matter how much they contradict themselves in the process

[@WlatPziupp]

@@_doop8257 Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort felt when two opposing things appear to be true at the same time. It's a feeling our brains desperately seek to resolve and remove. The problem is that it doesn't seem like they experience cognitive dissonance at all. 2+2=4 and also 9, take that liberals! Sorry to be a pedantic dingus about this, it's a pet peeve of mine and your comment happened to be the one where I felt I could no longer suppress my natural dingus self

[@zenogias01]

Ultimate they're just two ways of saying "Shut up and accept your place, slave!"

[@renaissancewoman3770]

The bit about emotions is so true. The "negative" emotions come because you are not comfortable with the situation, its telling you something. I didnt learn this until therapy in my twenties and i still always forget.

[@Robot_Eva]

"Things could be a lot worse" "Yeah, well they could be a whole lot better too!"

[@NIHIL_EGO]

Remind me of the last line from Candide. “There is a concatenation of all events in the best of possible worlds; for, in short, had you not been kicked out of a fine castle for the love of Madame Cunégonde; had you not been put into the Inquisition; had you not traveled over America on foot; had you not run the Baron through the body; and had you not lost all your sheep, which you brought from the good country of El Dorado, you would not have been here to eat preserved citrons and pistachio nuts.” “Excellently observed,” answered Candide; “but let us cultivate our garden.”

[@zenogias01]

See, the cool thing about "things can be worse" is that there's little no bottom to that logic!" No matter how terrible someone's situation you can also tell them it could be worse! It's one simple trick to dismiss all injustice in the world!

[@johannageisel5390]

If somebody comes to you with that attitude, just slap them in the face and tell them to be grateful that you haven't broken their jaw.

[@refundreplay]

They could be better, but it's not. So do something and make it better before it gets worse.

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

Hey there Calvin.

[@SageK253]

I appreciate you taking this on. I'm a counselor and sometimes use "practicing gratitude" as a tool to share with clients, and sometimes don't, because tools aren't universal. A client who's struggling with self-image isn't going to use the same tools as one who's dealing with transphobia from their family. This idea that we can all just force ourselves into happiness is horrible and something I typically spend 1-3 sessions undoing with new clients.

[@theMoporter]

Part of the reason I "struggled with self-image" was because I knew I had a lot to be grateful for and felt I didn't deserve it. So, uh, even more situational than that.

[@AVspectre]

Yeah, same with depression for me. Growing up I was aware of how lucky I was in the scale of the world and history… and it just made me feel worse. What kind of monster could be so miserable in the face of so much good fortune. What a slap in the face to so many people with so much more to deal with… It turns out that - in part - my brain chemicals are wonky and I should probably keep on a daily antidepressant indefinitely.

[@SageK253]

@@theMoporter same here. It's a crappy cycle to get stuck in. Based on tense, sounds like you're doing better today, which I hope is the case :)

[@SageK253]

@@AVspectre Ugh, yes! Being told you SHOULD be happy is. Ugh. Glad you found at least part of the answer :)

[@Sandreline]

One of the (many) "reasons" colonists decided that indigenous people in North America were savages was that they didn't always verbally express gratitude when given something. What the colonists failed to understand is that in many indigenous cultures the gratitude is just implied at all times. They just weren't expressing it in the "correct" way.

[@astaiannymph]

It always heartens me when I read about a cultural practice that aligns with what I feel. It makes me feel relieved to be reminded that the hegemonic vibes all around me are lies which can feel like "We've always been at war with Eastasia".

[@Sandreline]

@@astaiannymph, I specifically read about this in the book "Braiding Sweetgrass." The author spends a lot of time discussing sincere gratitude.

[@justsomebloke6784]

Are these "Colon-ists", of which you speak? As in people that talk crap?

[@Sandreline]

@@justsomebloke6784 oh no! A typo! 😱 And with absolutely no context clues to help people understand what I actually meant!

[@justsomebloke6784]

@@Sandreline No need to get upset, I wasn't having a go at you, it was a joke: connecting colon with crap, and the people that were the Colon-ists being unaware of the possibility of different cultural mores and so talking crap. I guess you don't get my sense of humour, that's fine.

[@ashermiss]

you hit the nail on the head wrt how gratitude is weaponized. in my family, this is paired up with the notion that only Jesus can change lives/fix problems. so the first step if you're having problems is to "find Christ." there is very seldomly a second step. overall, it's not very effective for anyone with actual problems or anyone who needs community support. and it's extremely ineffective when it comes to changing harmful government policy or arguing for systematic changes that could make people's lives better.

[@imaginareality]

The last point you bring up is so important: emotions serve a purpose and can help us figure out what we like and value and what we want to change. And they also act as a motivator to do the things we like and make the changes we want. I like practising gratitude but I'm also a big fan of acknowledging when things suck.

[@somethingelse4424]

Sure, I think it's possible to have "gratitude", and be reminded of the positive circumstances and things you have been given while acknowledging the awful things that you are subjected to. Pushing gratitude as a prescriptive mindset to depression, or objectively bad circumstances...I don't think is going to be effective. It's probably not good as an ambiguous kind of "woo" cure for what people might diagnose as a bad attitude.

[@refundreplay]

Its easy to do, if you're not a weirdo robot.

[@LisaBeergutHolst]

@Cheeto Licker OK edgelord

[@finbharasa7777]

@Cheeto Licker Yeah, yeah. Go back to being grateful for licking your Cheetos every day seeing as that's the only thing that brings you joy in this world

[@Hannah_Em]

On an only-semi-serious note about the ending, I think as something of an extension of the theme of the video it's worth saying that it's OK to want to be able to afford things to make you happy; wanting to be able to afford/achieve the things which bring you happiness is ok, too! Often I find that the insufferable "Just be grateful for what you have!" type of stuff goes hand in hand with a "don't be silly, you don't need toys, you're an adult! Just be sensible and be happy in your work" type of rhetoric which (in my opinion) can be similarly toxic. Just because something isn't directly necessary to your base survival as an alive being, that doesn't make it frivolous or bad, but too often there's a kind of "Oh, grow up" mentality which makes people think that adults aren't *allowed* games or soft toys or whatever because "that's just kids stuff". If being an adult means denying myself things that bring me joy, then I'm not really sure I want to subscribe to your model of adulthood, thanks

[@Daehpo]

I think those people retain that desire, but like children, rather than getting what they actually want, they look for a more "mature" option. Unfortunately it can lead to dangerous associations, like I've heard adult men talk about guns like toys.

[@thefancycreeper1987]

@@Daehpo I mean to be fair, as long as the individual practices good gun safety and only uses it in designated recreational shooting areas, I feel that a gun could serve as a toy

[@5am_nightmares]

your eyeliner looks great btw, top tier lines you got there :)

[@Eryna_]

"only thankful people can be happy/good" aka "if you are suffering you don't deserve anything and it's your fault."

[@ChrisEchoesMusic]

People are in fact being hurt by the idea that thoughts change reality. That’s “the secret” which is manifesting, which is rooted in victim blaming and justifying the conquests of the oppressors.

[@blargh3428]

It's literally scientology.

[@7th808s]

"Things could be worse" sounds like a threat honestly.

[@anitanielsen1061]

My teachers are *in an aggressive tone* forcing the class to start the day with “what are you grateful for?” and idk, idc, but they won’t take “idk” for an answer. It’s like I’ve committed a crime if I do.

[@otto_jk]

Just show creativity instead of gratitude and lie

[@smexehcougah3]

When your teacher asks you that just blurt out the first politically controversial thing that pops into your head.

[@M.M.83-U]

I feel you, try this: " The clarity to see what is wrong in this world"

[@GamesFromSpace]

"I don't want to say." If they ask why, say "I don't want to say why I don't want to say. It's private." Just be a stubborn ass.

[@intricatic]

Just say, "I'm grateful whenever I don't have to answer this absurd question."

[@theMoporter]

"Gratefulness as a lifestyle" is a nice way to say "revelling in your privileges". Acknowledging your privileges and giving yourself a pat on the back for doing so. I have a debilitating chronic illness, and before that struggled with my mental illnesses. I wouldn't be in pain today if I hadn't been denied care because I "seem fine". Using how I was scarred by the health system as a weapon against other disabled people is outrageously normalised. Telling the disempowered to be happy that you're not me is morally repugnant.

[@TheBhoernchen1]

I don't need a jade egg to feel connected to my body - I am living in my body! We are already connected! I can't physically leave!

[@vissersixty-nine6246]

when i was a kid, i feel like i was always told to be grateful for what i had, even when my life was miserable -- i would tell my parents that something they did was rude or hurtful, and they would respond with "well MY childhood was worse!! at least i'm not hitting you!!" and that really made me hate gratitude lol. this put a lot of those feelings into words -- there IS a sort of horrible smugness w/ which people will insist that you have it GREAT and you should be HAPPY about it that makes being unhappy a moral challenge

[@Eon2641]

When I was in highschool I dated this girl for a while and her mom would do this all the goddamn time, to everyone. Drove me up the damn wall, her kids obviously had mental health issues (though we didn't know what they were at the time) and whenever they tried to talk about it she'd start in with "well I had depression and I worked through it on my own while still paying the bills, you have it easy" or someone she barely knows would complain about their job and she'd get on them about how many hours _she_ works and they're actually lucky to be where they are. It was 100% just an excuse to badger people into being quiet while painting herself as some kind of martyr. Years later now, all her kids got diagnosed with anxiety of some description (only after leaving home, because otherwise she'd stop them) and she not only thinks that's something they picked up as adults, but that she taught them how to deal with it when in reality they had to unlearn years of negative reinforcement just to get where they are. There's a lot of tight-lipped silences on my end when we cross paths lol.

[@bainbonic]

Dennis Prager be like "feelings don't care about your feelings."

[@secretivesounds]

Using Aquatic Ambience as the score for the Jade Egg section made it so much funnier than it already would have been for some reason, hoh man I needed that laugh today

[@LoveLearnShareGrow]

Ok, first, I totally agree. It's super fucking important to not let gratitude become toxic. I think it's important that when discussing the "practice of gratitude" that it's purpose should NEVER be construed to block you from taking actions to improve your life. Its purpose SHOULD be to help you to rise above an emotional state where you feel stuck and hopeless, where you feel unable to take any action at all, or like any action you take would be meaningless. It is meant to help establish a base-level sense of well-being that you can use as a foundation to continue to build a better life upon.

[@Laurasaurus5]

Gratitude is important for *hopefulness,* but actual happiness, imo, is really only possible when your whole community has long term security for everyone's needs. I don't think individuals can achieve happiness independently while their community suffers, no matter how much gratitude they force themselves to feel.

[@niteshade2271]

aye, comrade

[@Exarian]

my teacher in an evngelical school always said "poverty is a mindset."

[@Praisethesunson]

That's the part of prosperity gospel that is impled by the grifters that promote it, but is rarely directly said by them.

[@jonathanmarth6426]

@@Praisethesunson Sure but some scammers are just more skilled than others. Some scammers start their attempt at scamming you by saying "This is not a scam".

[@cozycr8485]

Either you have the most rigorous comment deletion game in the market, or your community/comment section is extraordinarily respectful. Either way, mad respect for that

[@TheBonkleFox]

We Happy Few: hey here's a game about how complacency and toxic positivity can breed stagnance and fascism. Fascists: wow what a great idea for society. We Happy Few: what.

[@laurelgardner]

The way I had it explained to me is that gratitude practice can work really well for mental health when it's a genuine expression of what you ARE grateful for rather than anyone else's idea of what you *should* be grateful for.

[@mynameismynameis666]

gratitude aka "learned helplessness" of catholicism

[@Praisethesunson]

Why you gotta blame Catholics? Catholics already blame themselves enough. Except the liberation theology folks. Those guys are cool.

[@mynameismynameis666]

@@Praisethesunson rn catholics as a group aren't so bad, as a system, they are still fucked up beyound repair. but thelevangelism and neoevangelicism have made immense strides since the bush era

[@khill8645]

@@mynameismynameis666 "aren't so bad" and "fucked up beyond repair" seem like mutually exclusive traits...

[@mynameismynameis666]

@@khill8645 what i want to say is that there are more progressive catholics than you may believe - still strange and complicated in their ideology as they may be - but its institutions are still fucked up... same goes for islam b.t.w.

[@averyeml]

Hearing Mildred say “slam up your cooter” is not where I expected today to go

[@TheShadowChesireCat]

That jade egg + having gratitude for things in a toxic positive way... was very awkward when dealing with very severe ovarian pain 😅 Thank you for putting this up Mildred, it's important. Though, at this point in my "years of uterine based reproductive issues", if Goop did a Cocaine Yoni Egg, and my GP or Gyno suggested trying it (we're very out of society allowable options), I'd try it. Ouch. Oh, and the "gratitude" movement relating to disabilities is so, so fracked up. It ranges from "you should feel grateful to be alive" to "you should feel grateful you're not more disabled" and worse. Like, why should I feel grateful my body doesn't work like others do (which I have been shamed for in the past, and the fact I cannot do things as I want makes me very depressed). Should I feel grateful when people get mad at me because I cannot distinguish between left and right (it's a fairly minor symptom, but oh boy, it makes people mad when they think I'm doing it on purpose)? Should I be grateful for constantly being told I do not know my own limits on what I can manage physically, then people getting mad at me for needing more rest after they push me too hard? It's so messed up.

[@EnterpriseC14]

Can we just like Salt Rock lamps without thinking they have magical powers? I just like the warm glowing light.

[@oliviaboisselier9837]

My parents absolutely refuse to talk about the genocide of indigenous people and this country, but insist that I share what Thanksgiving means to me. I'm grateful for that

[@Praisethesunson]

Thanksgiving means we forget the genocide required to celebrate Thanksgiving. Pass the environmentally unsustainable bird meat.

[@M.M.83-U]

I suggest: I'm gratefull to be born in the bloodline of the ones who win those wars, otherwise my life will be even more miserable.

[@TheBonkleFox]

We dismantled Columbus day hopefully we can do the same with Thanksgiving.

[@recreant359]

Who cares? Human society is built on the back of genocide

[@Praisethesunson]

@@recreant359 Your society was built on the back of genocide. Don't project your ignorant assumptions onto the rest of humanity.

[@endTHEhegemony_Today]

This brings me life. I actually feel genuinely grateful after watching this. It's the first time in years I've truly felt it. 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Great lighting, great makeup, great message! Thank you. Much love!

[@khill8645]

I'm sure somebody needs to hear this: when you first start practicing gratitude, you'll be bad at it. That's okay, that's why it's called practice. It will take time to balance gratitude with anger and desire for change, but both are healthy as long as one doesn't dominate the other; too far in one direction and you have complacency, the other and you have greed and unhappiness. Also, there are times for all of us when we go too far in either direction, watch out for it in those closest to you and do your best to help them back into a healthy range, and ask that they do the same for you. Thanks for this wonderful video, and putting a spotlight on how toxic positivity can be harmful.

[@laurelgardner]

I think the really key thing with gratitude practice is that it has to be a practice of things you are genuinely grateful for and not any of the things you feel like (or are told) you *should* be grateful for. It's not about convincing yourself that shitty situations aren't shitty, it's about putting more of your focus and attention onto the things that are helping you get through it. Much like love and sex and forgiveness, a good thing gets ruined when you don't apply consent culture.

[@Geospasmic]

@@laurelgardner yeah, this is key. It has to be honest and not forced in order to be good for you.

[@GelatinSkeleton]

this is 100% how i was raised. “your life is fine, be grateful, stop being a bitch, you have no reason to be depressed. be grateful for all the things we do for you. why can’t you be grateful? it’s your fault, it’s your shitty attitude that you need to fix, the problem isn’t us, it’s you.” they wonder why i don’t call. anyway, great video, your makeup looks great, love u platonically keep doing ur awesome thought slimey magic 💖

[@aganib4506]

I am sorry you went through that. You don't deserve to be told nor be treated that way. I hope you heal and continue with your no-contact journey from those a**holes.

[@ДанилоКомненић]

"The pain is good. When your tooth hurts, fix it" my Serbian grandmother always said this to me when I was down.

[@TerriMRoberts]

Prager, Paltrow, and Jordan "Bucko" Peterson aka the unholy trinity of self-un-help, all in one video!

[@tatiana4050]

Suspicious their last names start with P

[@TerriMRoberts]

@@tatiana4050 definitely something sketchy happening in that part of the alphabet

[@RejectedRefund]

That donkey Kong music during the description of the egg was one of your best creative decisions.

[@HandsOfBlue]

THANK YOU. I was trying to figure out which game that was from

[@RistoCat]

I read all the comments just to see if someone else had noticed.

[@CatofManyFaces]

The thing that gets me about the whole 'being grateful can change the world around you for the better' thing is that it makes all of someones problems their fault. This is used as an excuse to not help those that need it. "I'm underpaid and i'm at constant risk of being evicted" "Just practice gratefulness and everything will be better!" and then the person who could help and maybe think about what's going on can just ignore everything and never have to feel the slightest bit of sympathy.

[@seraslain962]

Being told to be grateful my whole life is something. Like at least I had an education, or at least I have access to basic human needs like a roof over my head. Now that I know someone other than me actually disagrees about it, I can be a bit more vocal about it, even if it's just in a tiny comment section! So, screw being grateful when things can and should be better!

[@waltercunningham494]

You can’t be both?

[@gwendlevs.everything9178]

Thank you for this video - I am so sick of toxic positivity and the fact that it so rarely gets called out in a thoughtful way

[@vyl8202]

This whole video is an entire mood. I was lucky enough to buy into toxic positivity much but dealing with people who are completely committed to it is genuinely infuriating.

[@michimatsch5862]

I think you lost a not kind stranger!

[@agressivepushover420]

this video hit kinda close to home for me. this sentiment kept me in denial about abuse i was facing for years, and it still gets to me.

[@5am_nightmares]

if your life sucks just be grateful that it's not worse ✨🥴

[@yonokhanman654]

"Be grateful, slave, that you are not a corpse. Yet." Conservatives

[@SantaFishes101]

sometimes when you realize no one is going to help you, and there is no hope in many ways, feeling bad in itself becomes a chore. it becomes easier just to ignore it because working through pain is difficult. as always though, lovin thought slime.

[@poposterous236]

I'm really grateful you're covering this

[@Islandswamp]

When my son's mom abandoned us during the pandemic, the combination of all that made me just about lose my mind. Someone told me that "life is what you make of it" and that certainly didn't help. It's great to be able to be happy with what you have, but if you're not getting the basics you need to live, it's absolutely fine to be not okay with that.

[@kushluk777]

I've never commented on your videos, but lately I must say: You have been 100% and hitting on all cylinders. Excellent work. Thank you!

[@Patchouliprince]

Over the summer I started keeping a gratitude journal, and I honestly did notice it improved my overall mood because I was actively searching for the things that made me happy. But at the end of the day capitalism is still slowly killing me lol being grateful someone held the door open for me has not erased that somehow

[@Kane_the_Newschool_DM]

I definitely didn't expect this episode to turn into Goop talking about their *delicious egG*

[@h4rrish4wk97]

Right now... All I'm really grateful for is Mildred's increasing skill with awesome eye makeup. Mostly because I have to assume based on past information that this is also something that makes Mildred happy.

[@FillyCheeseSteak]

Hey lovely video Thoughtslime, I just want to comment how great your makeup looks! I really like it, especially since non-binary makeup presentation is a something I don’t see often in media, so I’m very excited to see another one of us doing so! ❤️

[@lawandrune3168]

As great man once said, “Gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs.”

[@toppersundquist]

I remember thinking this all through the 2010's on Facebook. There was a noticeable subset of friends who would post nothing but "My husband/wife/partner is my best friend, my soul mate, I'm so hashtagblessed to wake up to them every day and experience nothing but gratitude for their very existence and everything they do to make my world a better place." Knowing full well how much both parties complained incessantly in private. Those "hashtaggratitude hashtagblessed" couples currently have a 100% messy-ass divorce rate.

[@toppersundquist]

Also, I am now terrified of the Pragersaurus Rex, and I will never forgive you.

[@sarkozywasthere]

To speak on the cooter matter, as someone with one of my own: i think it makes for a good term for a comedic context. More or less positive (at the least, not negative) while not being medical. Although I think vagina is a pretty comedic term too, the upside to "cooter" is that it isn't used in any medical context and doesn't come in with that association when you're trying to make a goof for the entertainment of others.

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

I also think it's a good term even though I 've never had one. It'll always remind me of a fic I read once: "You mean to tell me she's showing her candy-coloured cooter? For money?"

[@juneinblack]

Your eyeliner game is getting better and better, and that's inspiring for how dog shit mine is.

[@anneh4422]

I spent a solid minute asmiring the wing. Looks great.

[@x10sam]

I was hoping someone had already made the compliment! For real Mildred, you're getting very good at it. As a person who's worn makeup for close to 2 decades, it takes a lot of work to get it how you want. For anyone who's still working on it, you got this! I still mess up sometimes so don't be too hard on yourselves.

[@puckerings]

Does Jordan Peterson EVER take his own advice? Instead of whining about the implications he imagined coming from bill C-16, why wasn't he just grateful for the good things he did have? Hmmmmmmm??

[@Jacob_graber]

I'm grateful for you, Mildred. But not too much.

[@Heyoka86]

These 'guardians of the status quo' "intellectuals" like JP and Pinker always tell us to be grateful our society isn't as corrupt as it could be, as if corruption is the only enemy. It's not, because the inhumanity of our society is a feature, not a bug. Are we coerced to choose between serfdom and starvation? Yes! Therefore, our society is inhumane, period!

[@ShadaOfAllThings]

As someone who is big into Cognitive Modification, a practice that is literally about using physical stimulus and practiced meditation to do things like "make me feel/not feel a certain way" or "remember things in my daily life better", I gotta say that I absolutely DESPISE people that think just "feeling good" about something is somehow in any way useful for more than getting your body to stop releasing stress hormones for a bit. Gratitude is an especially pernicious cancer when it comes to this issue, but generally speaking this idea that you must banish all negative emotions from your life all together to be a good human being is just fucked up. It denies the function of negative emotions entirely, which serve to remind us when SHIT IS GOING WRONG and propel us through emotionally charged negative situations. It helps us persist in the face of adversity when indulged in healthy and controlled manners, and anyone who wants to take that away from you is straight up saying that you should starve, given that they're basically telling you to purge yourself of anything that would actually signal to you or your body that you are hungry (or thirsty, or tired, or any other bodily need you have). Long story short: Fuck these insipid shitstains who push this nonsense of Gratitude and Perpetual Positivity

[@grmpEqweer]

I'm not AS good as I would like, but I am a good person. I'm also sarcastic and pessimistic. Forcing yourself to be cheerful and positive isn't a guarantee of good ethics.

[@cassius5692]

Thank you, this video is sorely needed. I've seen so many cases of people having their real needs & emotions silenced in the name of gratitude. I personally find practices like gratitude journaling really helpful now but it took me so long to be able to find benefit in them. In large part because those who first introduced me to the concept used it in such incredibly toxic ways that to this day I can't express any 'negative' emotions w/o feeling like I'm doing something wrong.

[@nanakigamer9852]

Hey, M., nice video, as usual. You are getting better at decorating your eyeballs. Have a nice week

[@rileyvainionpaa4306]

When you got sincere at the very end I teared up a little.

[@dinosaysrawr]

Framing IS vitally important, but there are crap sundaes in life that no amount of sprinkles and caramel sauce can be-crappify. It's cruel and delusional to deny the basic reality of suffering. If someone has an innate appraisal style or neurochemical imbalance that is causing them inherently and reflexively "paint the world blue," then, yes, encouraging them to evaluate or question their first instinctive reaction or narrative to various situations can be hugely helpful. Rarely is the truest or most productive thought or appraisal "Everybody hates me," "I always screw up," or "I'm just a bad person." But, if someone has experienced a genuine loss, trauma, injustice, or other negative experience or is having to survive in a hostile, dangerous, or oppressive environment, it's frankly evil and gaslighty to push them to reframe that as positive. Instructive: Previous research has found that keeping a daily gratitude journal can be immensely helpful for clinically-depressed people, but can potentially stir up feelings of guilt in non-depressed people, thereby making them feel crummier than when they began! This tells me that context matters, and that one person's balm is another person's poison.

[@andrewteague114]

I don't think you get the point of telling someone to be positive in a bad situation. It's so that they can maintain a clearer mental state while working through the negativity, not telling them to actively ignore the negativity.

[@dinosaysrawr]

@@andrewteague114 , you aren't wrong, but I don't think you get when you're lecturing to the choir director. :V

[@andrewteague114]

@@dinosaysrawr 👍

[@Blackwidow391]

Hey thought slime I am a masters in psychology and worked fairly heavily with one of the top researchers on the benefits of gratitude and resilience, the actual benefits of gratitude come from the reduction of negative thoughts. most of the benefits of gratitude are seen in younger people and are usually fostered through exercises in gratitude that bolster self-image and fosters self-care none of the language in those articles is something that is conducive to self-care and I thank you for this video.

[@Kazooples]

My brother is super, SUPER into crystals, he believes he can feel their energy, I’m so tempted to get him a jade egg.

[@arodreth]

You should link him "prince of vibes" by greasytales.

[@frenci97xp]

Unless they think the crystals can cure cancer and refuse to see a doctor when seriously ill/injured, I don't really see anything bad

[@amaryllis0]

​@@frenci97xp It reflects an inability to distinguish truth from falsehood and/or an inability to care about truth. That is self-evidently incredibly dangerous, because it's exactly what leads to shit like rejection of actual medicine or science in general, not to mention that irrationality is a primary enabler of regressive ideology When you have a piece of software and run tests for it, you don't excuse faulty edge cases because "they're just edge cases, they're never gonna come up so it won't affect anything", you just fix the bug, because otherwise you never know when the problems will compound into something actually detrimental, just like you never know when someone's rational disregard will lead them to believe extrinsically harmful falsehoods

[@synthgal1090]

@@amaryllis0 except it doesn't. I got crystals on an altar in my room. I (well, not often lately to be entirely fair but that's because my whole ass apartment is a mess and I'm even too ADHD to practice lately) practice spirituality. If I'm feeIing shit, it helps sometimes. am entirely aware it's probably just weird placebo brain hacky meditation bullshit, but since I'm too ADHD to meditate raw, the tools help. There is a clear difference between using mental tools for mental wellbeing and being a crunchy granola crystal healing nutjob. (and before you say I'm pro goop, fuck goop and fuck the companies that prey on people who don't know any better)

[@amaryllis0]

@@synthgal1090 I didn't say it can have no positive effects. Plenty of coping techniques are unhealthy.

[@sleepysheep_4046]

I’m not too keen on practicing gratitude. You can only be so grateful for the fact that most of the good and bad things going on in your life are due to things outside of your control. Maybe I’m not doing it right, but my feelings of gratitude don’t get me far.

[@Fraxxxi]

well you scoff at specifying that one should cool down a stone egg one intends to introduce to one's holiest of holies. but I've worked for an ordering hotline (for the younger people in the audience: imagine if the amazon shopping cart was a person you talk to on the phone) for way too long and now just consider that a very wise addition to the instructions. you know those steam cleaners for your floor, that you can steam clean your carpet with, that will melt your linoleum, that work with hotter-than-boiling-water pressurized hot steam being shot out of them? a customer once asked if she could use it to clean her dog's fur.

[@kwarra-an]

I'm glad she asked before she tried

[@robinrichardson5243]

Dr. Pangloss: "We live in the best of all possible worlds!" Candide: "Will you shut up, man?"

[@mygvmtnamepublicallyavailable]

When someone is like: “but it could be so much worse”. I always reply: “Is that a threat? What do you know about the machinations and scheming future plots of the rich? Also, who are you really though?”.

[@anishinaabae]

i usually respond with, "and it could be so much better. why don't you want that?"

[@tomithebunny]

I'm really glad that you're discussing concepts like toxic positivity, because I feel like that kind of toxic positivity has become soooo common when people give "advice" to people with depression or other mental health issues.

[@thesupremecatlord3188]

"Stop complaining that your broken leg hurts! Be grateful that you still have one healthy leg, sweaty!!" (/s)

[@youtubingitup247]

Looking really good Mildred! I love the video too. I hang in some hippy dippy circles and that kind of performative/toxic happiness is definitely a form of spiritual bypassing. It’s like someone who hasn’t recognized their anxiety because they have micromanaged every part of their life to maintain control. You can’t live in your body if you can’t accept all of you. I think Tara Brach said something like the limit of your self acceptance is the boundary of your freedom. Love your work and keep putting good shit into the universe.