How to Appear to be an Empathic Listener

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

I wish people would “want” to be empathic listeners and not “appear” to be one. This is such an important skill to possess, in my opinion. Thank you for the video Dr. Grande!

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Ok Dr. Grande, blue is definitely your color! 🔥🔥

[@guillermovillarreal8093]

Dr. Grande i have watched your videos . and learned and defined behaviors from my child hood. Thanks for being there.

[@rightnow5839]

Yes absolutely! Lol. 😊 👍🏻 comment

[@Anastashya]

ClandestineGirl16X And grey, red, green and black. ❣️ Not the brown 😂 but I think it’s Docs favorite 🙃

[@angramainyu335]

Preferred color of rationalist temperament.

[@alexw2154]

Red would be good too against his skin tone and darkish hair.

[@svgnna535]

I'm no expert, but I think you'd only be a good emphatic listener if you have genuine concern for your clients.

[@carolinegray6984]

Like Carl Rogers did.

[@einsteindarwin8756]

That’s why Doctor Grande is exceptional because Of his own experience with trauma.

[@TylerLarson]

A few of the narcissists I know can be convincing "empathetic" listeners, but only in short sprints, and they find it utterly exhausting. So they only do it if they have something to gain. They also tend to get REALLY upset afterwards as a sort of pressure relief. Lashing out at people or even mocking the person they seemed to be so engaged with.

[@katiess9708]

To acquire and hone the skill of empathic listening, you may have to "appear to empathically listen". When you first learn a technique as a novice, one approaches things concretely. You can be an empathetic individual, but not naturally have good listening skills. Appearing is practicing and consciously thinking about techniqeus such as eye contact , paraphrasing or setting the direction. I'm an erratic, hyper person. Trying to appear, will help me focus, so that the skill hopefully will be seamless. I would really like to meaningfully listen. Thank you for bringing this to my attention!

[@vihaze6725]

This is helpful for me. I've been repeatedly told that I come across as very cold and disinterested when other people are talking. It's not something I do consciously, but I think your tips will help me to show that I'm actually listening and not just waiting for people to shut up so I can talk about myself, haha.

[@Mommyleah]

Dr. Grande, you have no idea how much your videos have helped me the past few months. My husband has been recently diagnosed with BPD and learning to just listen and not try to make him feel better is HUGE to him. The kindness factor in me makes it hard not to say “no your not” when he is trying to vent. Is there any way someday you could make a video on “how to be a great partner and supporter of your BPD marriage/relationship” ? I think it would do wonders for many trying to seek answers for a better understanding as to what we should do for them as well as ourselves 💕 Thank you for being you Dr. Grande!!

[@winternightmarecrochet]

I find caring about what somebody says helps being an empathic listener. Even if you don't have perfect listening skills, the person will feel that you care or perceive that you're interested in what they're saying at least a little bit. If you try to make it seem like you are a good listener, but really couldn't care less about what they're saying, it kinda shows.

[@peggygenoway]

You look more empathic in blue.

[@serendipitous_synchronicity]

Yes, a nice colour on Dr Grande.

[@thisguy5036]

Probably intentional

[@beautyalaritz3310]

Wonder how many narcissists/sociopaths will trickle their way onto this particular video... lol

[@jouvani332]

I'm here, let's go bois

[@janec.kowalczyk5824]

@Beautyalaritz Lol! That's hilarious! 😂😅

[@catharinepizzarello4784]

I think you can’t really fake this. Time reveals all. Narcissists and other con artists can’t sustain it. It’s funny that there are so many videos about getting them out of your life. Just wait and don’t commit until you see that they can sustain it.

[@sun-wo9vp]

I am not an narcissist nor sociopath, I don't wanna fake it. I just have some difficulty understanding emotions, I am a very logical person to the point where i tie my feelings to more logical processes. But i don't like being this way, I should deal with my feelings in a different way and practice loving- kindness with myself and other people. This way i can change. I think is never to late be become the best version of yourself. I truly want to have deep and beautiful relationships. Because we will all die one day and all we are left with are the memories we had and people that will remember us.

[@RedShareen]

It's a big struggle in the first semester of psych school when you have to start getting used to paraphrasing instead of interpreting. I always find myself paraphrasing by essentially providing possible explanations for why the person might be feeling the way they are instead of repeating the experience back to them in different terms. This definitely frames it in an understandable, comprehensive manner!

[@wilhelmu]

My therapist sometimes paraphrases my experiences mid my narrative, or tries to finish sentence for me, but shes usually wrong and i need to correct her all the time Wish shed stfu and just listen

[@godisholy7067]

Thank you Dr Grande because we all need to hear ways to improve our compassion love and support .

[@LinYouToo]

I would consider myself quite good at empathic listening. The trouble I have in some situations is when someone is talking at me and not with me. It’s not a conversation. It’s a one-way dialogue. In this type of a situation many people just jump right in and start talking at the other person. That’s not my style. I like to ask questions and find out more and if I’m with someone who is not naturally curious it can feel quite lopsided. I have learned as I’ve gotten older to be mindful of these dynamics so that I’m not exhausted and also not investing in relationships that don’t feel balanced. When someone finds out that you’re an empathic listener sometimes you’re the one they always want to go to because they don’t have anybody else. Setting good boundaries is also important.

[@safelander7811]

I'm really astounded by the level of analysis and insight in your videos, Dr. Grande, thank you making this. This particular video confimed so many things I've always thought about and felt but never really articulated, such as the use of encouragers

[@TheOptimistikChic]

Thank you. Your knowledge and insight is so appreciated.

[@Rahel8811]

Ppl in the comments are not actively listening and are more focused on your royal blue dress shirt.

[@serendipitous_synchronicity]

What.. no option of both 😉 lol

[@Anastashya]

Rahel T Rocca Women multi task 😉

[@kaym.2854]

Rahel your comment is funny as the actual topic was empathic listening (a term he prefers as it's better associated with empathy). 😉

[@rakera77]

I love this channel, I learn so much from it in addition to what I'm also learning in college. I will be graduating in a few months with my BA in Psychology so I really appreciate these videos. God bless

[@einsteindarwin8756]

That was great doctor Grande! I can’t wait until I can afford to contribute to your Patreon. You are saving lives.

[@catherinenoble6214]

Dr. Grande, thank you for explaining. As a person who thinks that everyone is expecting empathetic listening these days (I'm an educator) , I wish you would present on empathetic speaking, such as learning to curtail your expectations of other people's empathy. Some people are monologuists instead of conversationalists.

[@pocoeagle2]

Thank you for another interesting video Dr. Grande. Question; can you talk once about vulnerability? So, some things you might talk about can probably be: What is this construct of vulnerability actually all about? What are the positive sides and the downsides of vulnerability? How do we cope with it? Why are people often afraid to show being vulnerable? Should it not be something that connects us as humans? What is the difference between vulnerability in persons with mental illnes and/or personality disorders and 'healthy' people? Of course I can read/watch about it from Brene Brown, but actually I'm really looking forward to a video about vulnerability in relation to mental health once from you sir. Thank you so much for your time again. Have a great day doc 😃

[@octoberskye1049]

Appear?! 😉 This is an *excellent* explanation and differentiation. Thank you so much, Dr. Grande!

[@dickieOiRed_07]

Excellent video, Dr. Grande. I'm studying at the moment and although I'm not looking to get into counselling as a profession, empathic listening will be an important and useful tool. Thank you for this explanation.

[@GeorgeAAspros]

I often use “how do you mean by that?” Too often things are taken out of context, so this offers the other person a chance to home in on their intent prior to responding.

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

You can literally own someone with empathic listening. It creates such a strong bond. Just like an infant to a mother. Counselors have to literally wean the client off them. Those who never had someone empathic in their lives. Such a powerful thing! Dangerous too, when someone has so much power over you. I mean it's a vulnerable state to be in.

[@yes0r787]

There are 2 sides to that. When you are truly empathetic and a good listener, some friends become addicted and overuse the sympathetic reflection. This unbalances the relationship and frequently spoils the friendship.

[@martinheath5947]

Favourite tool of the covert narcissist, except they don't see it as a tool

[@fredjones554]

Reality is important. Perception is also important. You may listen to everything that is said, but if the person does not perceive that they are being listened to, the person will not feel listened to.

[@kathyinwonderlandl.a.8934]

fred jones that’s a bummer....

[@guitaro5000]

When will you publish a book?

[@JamesSchanen]

Very helpful. Thank you Dr. Grande.

[@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837]

Now that tie is very artistic I love it.

[@HoneyBadgerVideos]

For the record, Im just here confirming I'm doing it right. ADHD and attentive listening is hard enough without accidentally giving the other the feeling you don't care.

[@melissaqualls5774]

Excellent! I will utilize this information to help others. Thank you for making this video.

[@PluviophileTraveller]

have just watched this before my first session of the evening. Thank you!

[@Love.America]

The Royal Blue suits you well Dr Grande. Thank you again for a well informed video. We we're thaugh this at my current work place. They have it set up as LAMA... Listen Acknowledge Make a statement Ask a question. This works very well in Retention and Marketing. Incept Corp is a Conversational Marketing Firm that specializes in creating productive conversations that drive meaningful result. They have a different take on what really makes a business steadily grow. This very thing is key...Empathic Listening. You have given me a wider range of material to use. Also precisely what works in what situation. It's much appreciated Dr Grande. Enjoy your week!

[@annmurry8589]

At ~8:15 the connection in the moment coupled with a response to both what is being said and the person delivering the message is the empathic part, I think. For me this starts with being present in the moment including focusing on breathing and taking the whole moment and person in without being either rushed or allowing my mind to race between my own thinking and optional responses. I have to really try not to be like this. Actually, I am usely intently analyzing and absorbing all the information but a connection fails without being in the moment. I go deep in the ideas and miss the personal connection. I don't appear to be listening but I usually am, just not connecting. My 10th grade math teacher used to get so mad when he thought he caught me not paying attention but I had the right answer. In grad school a teacher got so fed up with this that he started accusing me of just "guessing". So there is evidence that my receiver was clicked 'on' but no, I am skipping out of the present moment - fail. I don't mean to be rude at all but I know I come off that way with my racing mind and lack of basic presence.

[@rightnow5839]

Ann Murry 💗 your comment. I think not being present could be the biggest problem for all of us in many ways. Eckhard Tolle has a great book called The Power of Now, and also gives great little talks about it on utube. Hope the rest of your day is wonderfully experienced.

[@r.chrism.d.3001]

You have the gift. Most counselors need it but do the best they can faking it, believing it prevents them from burn out.

[@purrbugaloo]

Off topic question- Can anxiety be inherited (for lack of a better word) if both parents are functional but have untreated ptsd or anxiety? And/or if parents have tendencies/personality issues that don't create a sense of calm? I know it is a muddled question but basically can kids "catch" (again for lack of a better word) anxiety from parents. *Not talking about intentional or obvious bad parenting but in the sense of a child PERCEIVING the anxiety and issues a parent has...In parents who are well intentioned and good people in general but internally suffering from experiences that are no fault of their own. Also is a tendency toward anxiety biologically inherited? I really enjoy your teaching style and research. Is there a way for us muggles to have access to searching topics in peer reviewed journals or do you have to be a wizard/licensed professional? Thank you for all the work you put into this channel. 🌻

[@____Sonnie___]

This is a good question. I usually wonder about the same too.

[@picklethepepper]

It can be. Epigenetics.

[@rightnow5839]

Wow !Dr. Grande this is my favorite video thus far!. I found myself laughing at some of the examples you used because I could relate to them. It’s also good that you brought up the smart phone using. I’m sure it’s comparable to drug addiction in terms of how overuse affects personal relationships. Most of all this one is my favorite, because Dr. Grande actually sort of laughed and smiled in the video. You have such good insightful information and skills that one has to hope you are a happy individual. 💗 👍🏻

[@cjklz]

Sympathy and empathy, sing together in perfect harmony.

[@elisamastromarino7123]

You look nice in royal blue, doctor.👍 If people are too empathetic they can become exhausted to the point of feeling emotionally sick themselves. It's better if you can fake it, imo. Thank you Dr Grande. 🌹👍

[@kathyinwonderlandl.a.8934]

Judy Lee I think that’s the healthiest for their own peace of mind...

[@elisamastromarino7123]

@@brusselsprout5851 Not if they're your boss.

[@catharinepizzarello4784]

Fascinating! Just be present and pay attention. I remember being at some job cattle call thing. The leader asked our names. There were about 20 of us. Then she asked ourselves questions one by one, using our names. She showed her spots because she was showing off, but I’m curious about the technique she used.

[@r.chrism.d.3001]

Great description of the art of counseling tools, and by way of extension, demonstration of being a top notch counselor. Period. The following critiques are not personal: As this is the third recent incursion of the empathy vs sympathy topic into your videos, given that colloquially the two terms are distinct/specific/precise in a vast vernacular, transposing the meaning of empathy vs sympathy in the minds of counselors likely is helpful for the profession as most humans are not abundantly empathetic. Analogous to ‘you can’t coach speed’ in athletics, adults learn sympathy, not empathy. Rather, empathy is an emotional talent-it should be appropriately modulated. “Empathetic-listening” can only be done by counselors with empathy. For the majority of other good counselors, the mandatory substitute is the acquired skill of “empathetic listening appearance,” which is actually sympathy, colloquially defined.

[@MissVV100]

Thank you for yet another informative and helpful video. Your videos remind me of college lectures, which I enjoy.

[@rightnow5839]

Miss VV yes me too 👍🏻

[@qiuwbr091]

From the more common language format: People (narcissists) cherry pick out of conversations what makes them look more knowledgeable so they can convince the speaker they care enough to sell them the right car/mascara/ butt job/ or to make them think all that doesn’t matter, and they should just take a drug. Thanks for helping sort out those type behaviors from caring therapists. You are great Dr.

[@joanlynch5271]

Empathic listening also helps with foreign language learning!!

[@sarahsmiths550]

Joan Lynch Lol 😂 so true

[@cellison9414]

Thank you, for this very informative video.

[@qiuwbr091]

Dr. has brought me to the point that I can understand; ingratitude, and sadism go hand in glove. It’s very complex human interaction (I think) and it has to do not only with listening but gathering information to do bad later. I would like Dr to expound as it is so complicated.

[@rebekah1216]

Tricks of the covert Narsscist....they "Appear" to be good empathic listeners. Sneaky sneaky Dr. Grande! Lol. J/k

[@johnpaul5474]

If one has EVER listened empathically, one should KNOW how it feels to listen empathically and, therefore, how to SEEM empathic on those difficult days when one is too busy, preoccupied, distracted, etc., to REALLY listen empathically when confronted by some sympathetic person with an urgent need to communicate. (Is this obvious or TOO obvious?) Unfortunately, for all of us, conversation in America, like too many other things, too often becomes a struggle for control, a matter of domination/subordination in which the speaker dominates and the listener is subordinated. ("Cool Hand Luke," the actor Strother Martin: "What we have here is a failure to commun'cate.") I'm almost convinced that all Americans have an inner Walt Whitman "loafing" about within ourselves continuously composing and rehearsing yet another "Song of Myself," and making ready to share it at a moment's notice. Myself, I'm more concerned these days, for now, with how to appear, or seem, at a distance and in a benign way, to be an UNEMPATHIC listener, too abstracted to be disturbed. It might be better for all concerned if more of us learn how to SPEAK empathically, with more consideration for the poor, beleaguered, almost defenseless listener. You know: learn how to communicate. Learn how to put ourselves in the listener's position; how to read the subtle signs of her or his responses. Learn brevity. Try to be a little more entertaining. Know stuff; new and interesting stuff. Maybe read a book. And so on. I, too, could go on and on--but why? It's all too amusing. Isn't life fun? Thanks, again, Dr. Grande. (You have my empathy, sir.)

[@r.chrism.d.3001]

John Paul Brilliant example of the true needed qualities of a top notch counselor. Hat is, having the talent of empathy, and remaining a bit detached by not locking in step for step. Perfect. Most counselors have to fake hat that don’t have, but can’t blame them.

[@johnpaul5474]

@@r.chrism.d.3001 That can't be an easy job, listening to people "monologuing," even when the hour is only 45 minutes long; especially when the content is often soul-wrenching. It takes a special talent. One senses that Dr Grande has that talent. A former therapist named Daniel Mackler has a KZbin channel, and he often discusses in his videos the therapeutic relationship and his role in it. Something in my demeanor has drawn troubled people to me, but, as I suggested in my "comment," I'm currently on some kind of unpaid sabbatical; and I hope to be a better listener whenever I return.

[@Anastashya]

Maybe I’m wrong, but it just feels like it would be fake to simply “appear” to be an empathetic listener. In many ways I think it’s something someone either has developed or they haven’t. I’ve no idea if empathic listening can be learnt because I don’t know enough in a professional sense about what people can learn that seems innate in others. I really enjoyed the subject, though! Thank you Dr Grande. ☺️

[@r.chrism.d.3001]

Serene Artist Empathy is innate, sympathy is appearing empathetic.

[@Kageoni187]

I had a similar thought process to your beginning statement. If you practice the appearance you potentially could develop the skill. Skills like this are innate for some but a learned trait for others. As long as you are desiring to learn the ability to truly connect with others to gain a deeper understanding of them and your sense of humanity I see nothing wrong with it. There is a difference between hearing & listening they aren't mutually inclusive. You can hear a sound without actively focusing on it to gather information and make intellectual or/and emotional inferences from what you are hearing. Listening is the focusing and desire to understand what you are hearing.

[@SweeetClarissa]

I think I am an empathic listening, I do care about what my friends and family are going through to help understand and somewhat try to make a difference or give advice... we just never know what they’re really going through... it’s a tough time! Also Dr you mentioned the encourager, I do use a lot of eye contact And nod a lot, but sometimes I do get distracted, I tend to make sure they are standing or sitting 🪑 somewhere there aren’t a lot of traffic ... a girl with a yellow shirt would walk by and Thats it!! I would be lost. Thanks for the video.

[@GrayWolfWRX]

That was really interesting , thank you.

[@mattbeckwith]

The best way to appear to be listening is to listen.

[@serendipitous_synchronicity]

Great video Dr Grande. Thank you 😊

[@CliffStamp]

It would be nice to see some videos on how as a friend, you could talk productively to people who catastrophize.

[@artman02458]

Very helpful. Thank you.

[@lilithrose6857]

Thank you for bringing up the use of repeated "encouragers". I'm in a counseling program and I was told that I I needed to stop doing that. I honestly was trying to really listen to the client but I guess I came off as too much.

[@SweeetClarissa]

I need to work on not getting distracted ... but I love to listen and understand and help my friends.

[@pause705]

Very helpful video, Thanks Dr :)

[@SweetBlackSistah]

Real talk @ 5:44

[@rhobot75]

You said it! I listened to that passage a couple of times- I need to remember this, or tell young people haha

[@kimboeskeim397]

Excellent content! Could you please do a video on how to cope/deal/redirect when dealing with “the broken record syndrome”???!!!

[@europanzz]

I`ve always been naturally interested in other people and their lives, so its easy for me.

[@Mutantcy1992]

Okay, go on...

[@natashavernon9828]

From the man himself! I gotta take notes!!

[@abrahamsasa3439]

Thank you very much sir I'm desperately trying to speak less and listen more,, that was very helpful :-) :-) :-)

[@frogprincessss]

Great video, thanks Todd!

[@GGiblet]

So I should quit snapping my fingers, tapping my foot and saying "hurry it along, bub?" 😜😄 Love the video as usual! 👏👏👏🙌

[@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837]

I believe that the therapist should not make himself or herself stand above the client. Trust only happens on eye level. I have seen this in action in Primal Therapy. When I told Walther that Leslie was a foster child, too he suddenly understood her behavior towards him. Leslie felt exposed when she wanted to keep this anonymity and distance from Walther. It was simply an Ego problem for Leslie. But what I said to Walther helped him. I think therapists need to make it clear to their clients that they, too are sentient beings and that they are on eye level with everybody else.

[@eduardosanchez3858]

Great video and extremely helpful

[@pietropietro5193]

Thanks for your video. Could you answer the question(s): "What are your thoughts/beliefs about the dodo bird verdict within psychotherapy? Is CBT the most effective type of psychotherapy?"

[@scarlettchappendenden9059]

Thank you, Doc!

[@DocKobryn]

Hey Dr. Grande. Off beat question. I really like that tie! Where did you get it?

[@Tina12121]

Have you studied the humanistic approach by Carl Roger's ? I am curious if you have studied any theories & if so I would be very interested in future clips if you were ever to do any. I am a level 3 student in counselling & psychotherapy via C.P.C.A.B & have strict guidelines to adhere to via B.A.C.P. .. thankyou Dr. Grande

[@susancollison8524]

My mind keeps wandering when I have long conversations with some people

[@bloodypommelstudios7144]

I think this could be useful for a lot of autistic people. As a kid I didn't make eye contact and repeated the same encouragers in a monotone voice. Internally I could be hanging on every word, I just wasn't good at conveying this to others.

[@einsteindarwin8756]

Thanks Doctor Grande.

[@absolutelyaverage5061]

I thought I was a really empathetic person because my worth was always equal to what I could do for others or how happy I could make other people. Then I realized that was fucked up and stopped doing that and became hyper protective of myself and feeling like everything I give should be just what I'm willing to give and appreciated as such. Obsessed with making myself understood to people I wanted to understand me, ghosted others. Quick to cut ties. Owes no one anything. Then I got into a relationship with a deeply empathetic person and ended up hurting them with all of that so here I am trying to learn empathy without feeling like its me being forced to expose myself or give something of myself because maybe just this once I do owe someone something. It feels dangerous and like I'm betraying myself and me trying to explain that to someone who just wants me to show I care about them doesn't earn me any brownie points and it shouldn't guess even if its true. Anyway trying to be better is scary and hard.

[@Wendathena]

I have a friend who I try to practice empathic listening with because every time I see her she tells me about her problems. However, when it is my "turn" to share something about my life, she tells me how she has experienced something similar, or that she is happy the she is not in my situation if she hasn't experienced it.

[@carolnahigian9518]

Tara LynnGrant was killed by her hubby: then he wandered in the snow. Plus he liked the nanny!! Please review-???!

[@sofiedouglas757]

Pretending if not seems the idea... active listening is obviously better.

[@manic4300]

Oh sick, this’ll help me get some things I want. ✌️😎

[@bbronzy1414]

Thanks for the information because people usually bore me with their blather.

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

Omg me too 😒😣😔

[@kathyinwonderlandl.a.8934]

B Bronzy he ain’t blathering! he educating!😽

[@blaeckingceorl4161]

I find this theme interesting. I have some doubt about my empathic capacities. I mean, I feel it, but some times it seems like I rationalize it more then just feel it. In some cases, I think I could simply put it away, espacialy in my moments of anger. In my case, I never want a just compansation for some harm a person did (or I imagine he or she did) to me. When it happens, I don't care about "justice" or revenge. I always want to make them suffer greatly and then simply aniquilate them completly, no matter what happened. If what you did or I think you did is undertood by me as an act of disrespect, I automatocaly feel like you shouldn't exist anymore. Swear I never harmed no one and I think hardly I would, but I just cannot scape from fantasising the things I could do to the person and this fantasy always ends with the person having at least a extreme psichological damege to carry for the rest of the life. It's really a big deal for me that the person ended up with some kind of scar in life and knows that I'm who caused it. So I always feel bad when I notice I'm too much engaged in some kind of moral issue, cause in mind I know I'm being very much hypocritic. I guess it has to do with my low self steem and the way my mother choose to diciplinate me as a child. I'm not saying I'm "traumatized" or anything. I never had intentions of make this a dramatic thing. I don't even hate her (not because of the things she did back then), but I do have plain conscience of the things she did to me and this thing I've been carried in me was caused by her.

[@elizaswedenn6136]

What do you call it when a person always turn the conversation and tells there own story instead. E.g if I sit down in my co-workers office and start telling that I am feeling down and worn out lately and my co-worker listen and aknowledge for a minute but then start telling when he/she was feeling that way years ago and what she/he did about it. And it ends up me not getting the chance to ventilate but he/she just telling her/his story. That’s not helping me at all. He/she does this every time I tell him/her about something bad OR good in my life. What tips and tricks can you give about what to tell this person that this is about me feeling this way and not about him/her.

[@maryblooms4599]

Elisa Sweden N I used to call someone like that “topper”. They had to “top” everything anyone did whether good or bad. I stopped trying to actually converse with this person and kept things superficial

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

I've found that singing baby shark in my head wile ppl are telling me stuff I don't care about usually works good. It keeps me from rolling me eyes too 🙄😉🦈🦈🦈

[@almakehlerbrown3935]

Thanks. Now I'm going to have baby shark in my head all night..🐋🎶😏☺️

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

@@almakehlerbrown3935 🤣🤣 sorry for that

[@serendipitous_synchronicity]

Wouldn't politely excusing yourself from the conversation be more effective & or considerate? Maybe I missed the point.

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

@@serendipitous_synchronicity You can't when you're at work. They know you have to pretend to care 😣

[@trinity6764]

@@serendipitous_synchronicity Agree .

[@blaeckingceorl4161]

9:59 This is funny. Here in Brasil 🇧🇷 we also use this expression "uh-huh" in that same way. Now I'm asking myself how many languages use it too.

[@PetroicaRodinogaster264]

I have had several friends who would go to great lengths to get everything out of me but give nothing back. It is so one sided. One said ‘good’ so much I was tempted to tell her something really horrible just to see if she said it was “good”

[@Wisdomseeker5]

My husband uses "aha aha" 🤣🤣 I know now why I get mad..

[@muf]

How do I become a better listener? Often I can't understand what I'm told and have to figure out what I was told while the speaker continues and I miss the rest.

[@satsumamoon]

At first I thought this was going to be answering a narcissists question :D

[@Delicious_Oreoz]

WRITE THAT DOWN PATRICK WRITE THAT DOWN

[@573998]

I work with a guy who seems to have bpd and he gets triggered when I listen to him and I sumerize our conversations. He will be my best buddy then he'll explode with anger. I'm thinking of just avoiding him unfortunately I am a railroad conductor and he's the engineer I have to be in a confined space with him for up to 12 hours and it's not until the next day sometimes 2 days before he calms down from being triggered

[@Mutantcy1992]

Go on...

[@ignominius3111]

I tried to listen to this but kept being distracted by thoughts about how I am going to spend the recreational time of my day.

[@mbuszka5295]

I think, there are *three magical sentences* , that make us looks 'empathetic listener', even if not giving a darn. I use them with my colleagues and they open up quite easly as everyone want to be listened to: I feel bad for You. Tell me more. How are You feel about it? / You can tell me, if You want. So my experience can differentiate from truth,but people LOVE talk about their 'feelings'. Not always we even have to LISTEN. People wanna just talk about themselves to sort their thoughts. So PRETENDING listening, nodding a bit can help with LOOKING LIKE empathetic. I still hope for *EPILEPSY PERSONALITY* topic. Ps. Now I watch Your vid to see if I was wrong, or right. =)

[@Lazdinger]

Most of us possess two of these 👉 🦻🏻 And one of these 👉 👄 I think _truly_ listening is a skill many of us can/need to work on - we’re equipped for it.

[@illiterate.ink.]

Will this work even if I'm doing jumping Jack's

[@rightnow5839]

Putting down my phone now. 😂

[@milk9613]

Right Now.

[@premier69]

this is common sense, at least for me.

[@SlyNine]

ADHD here. I really try to listen. But 😔

[@wilhelmu]

My fucking therapist keeps interrapting me all the time with her empathetic moans and nods every time i happen to speak about anything remotely sad or traumatic-even if i am no longer traumatized by it and im just conveying information. She sometimes even sheds fake half tears for me. She must think im stupid.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Girls, you are supposed to listen to what he says, not watching and judging his clothes! Bad listeners! lol

[@yes0r787]

NO need for you to judge them either.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

@@yes0r787 That was irony. I wrote this a year ago, when Dr.G.'s channel was very educational. Meanwhile imo it is more about gossiping and joking with a little bit psychology added on top of it. I don't like gossip too much, but instead of critizing I concentrate on the positive.

[@stevecrotzer4637]

OARS.

[@Mutantcy1992]

ROW ROW ROW YER BOAT

[@kungfujoe2136]

never listen to what ppl say wach what they do and record how those are differned