How To Be A Good Listener

Listening is something we’re very reluctant to do, not because we’re lazy, but because we have never actually been taught how to do it properly, in a way that can be interesting and rewarding for us.
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FURTHER READING
“Many of us probably have a nagging feeling that we don’t listen enough to other people. Here we’re not going to make the guilt worse by telling you that listening is a good thing, worthy but in fact rather dull.
We’re going to show you that listening to others is first and foremost an interesting thing to do, something that could be as pleasurable for you as it is for your speaking companion....”
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Tracy Foster
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[@ShieVentures]

Imagine going here because you want to be a good listener. But still ended up not learning a thing because you aren’t a good listener 😅😂

[@erugochijioke1496]

Tragic😂😂😂

[@jblack7054]

Went straight to the comment section🤦‍♂️

[@ShieVentures]

@@jblack7054 I do that a lot too! Haha. Looking for that quick summary.

[@timewithjess8949]

Mood!

[@a.s.l711]

It’s true cos they don’t even teach you how tonlisten

[@Jackal]

simple, don't try to think of a response before the other person has finished what they have to say :) that's a step in the right direction at least lol

[@toothlesstoothy]

Jackal Unleashed now, this is the best advice i heard for a while, thank you

[@Jackal]

thank you I'm so glad to here that! I was having a rough morning, but you have cheered me up

[@diaryabsh9474]

good advice indeed 👍

[@Jackal]

that's what I have tried to start doing with my partner whenever we sit down to try to come up with a video idea. If we don't, we end up talking over one another and fizzle each other's ideas out sometimes!

[@SpazSmokeS]

Jackal Unleashed I like that

[@cup_check_official]

does anyone else thinks there hair looks like an open book?

[@cup_check_official]

cts but why would they do it on purpose? :O

[@htomeht4072]

Because they can read each other like open books?

[@Araanor]

in a way, when we read someone's book we are reading their thaughts.

[@SinAndreww]

WOW THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS YOU HAVE CLAIMED THE OBVIOUS MEDAL OF OBVIOUSNESS

[@yousrabennani4189]

Well they clearly had pages turning at one point so... what else do you want it to look like ? Hahah

[@ximonwhhatt3796]

Maybe they added the annoying background noise to test you if your actually able to listen well.

[@nancii-lii9483]

hahaha brilliant! but its so annoying!

[@mubashrarasheed2761]

Yeah exactly 💯

[@nancysimone1021]

I wasn’t lmao, I was only hearing the annoying background noise - this video is difficult for adhd types

[@nimisnotcool7132]

I couldn't

[@gawtameemungur6321]

Hahaha..i had to put on the captions😅🤣🤣

[@digitalbrentable]

I found it very difficult to listen to this video. It was probably intentional, but the droning sound effects really strained my focus.

[@atulmy]

Yes, switching on subtitles helps.

[@reecehayden7731]

I agree

[@Nicky-ez3ln]

Sameeee

[@tmfvideos6414]

Agreed

[@flannsixtyseven7489]

I carefully listened to the "blah blah sounds of the cartoon characters :-)

[@cup_check_official]

I am a good listener and trust me, listening is not that bad. I actually like listening to other people. the thing is there are a lot of people who just pretend to listen but arent really listening. If you really listen and dont think of the response until they are finished then it makes thing much better

[@khadidjadk3500]

Tell Me This you would be a great psychanalyste

[@piewert787]

A G that was a roast and a half. Destruction.

[@morgangreen2526]

Tell Me This Yeah, that is the whole thesis of the video.

[@sokunthealy7619]

Tell Me This people usually say that I talk too little.

[@khadidjadk3500]

well im not even an english speaker, so if that comment was for me it's stupid and psychanalyste was in french

[@LynneLaRochelle]

People aren't boring. They are fascinating! It's amazing when people open up and let us know what's going on inside.

[@Link_Ezzie]

I have more problems with talking, myself. Either I don't find anything in my life to be worth telling someone, or it might be interesting but it feels like I'm putting a bother on them when it's something bad, or bragging when it's something good. Got any tips or advice for that?

[@dewanfariharamisa5664]

Esnylia Me neither. It's perhaps we often forget everyone's life is not as interesting as it seems. You always find other gardens better than yours. One tip I can share is exchange of new ideas, knowledge etc.

[@Ash_Wen-li]

This is exactly how I feel about talking to people I don't know very well.

[@zix1257]

They have a video adressing that, "how to not be boring"

[@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446]

Esnylia We also forget that somones life doesn't have to be full of adventure and novel experiences. What matters is how you express it, feeling guilt or apprehension is natural. But don't let that censor your ideas and emotions, keep trying to express yourself in different methods, settings and company. With patience and persitence, your self-doubt will turn into certainty.

[@Link_Ezzie]

ZIX yeah, saw that one. Didn't really resonate with me tho. There's a difference with wanting to be "interesting" vs not being able to open up cause you feel unimportant yourself I guess. I'm not comparing myself to others either, cause everyone is pretty much just as unimportant. Makes listening to others harder sometimes cause you think "this dude is just human, worth as much as everyone else, why does he think his life is so important that he goes around telling everyone about his life?". But I still end up listening anyway. Just with some resentment in there.

[@mylifesucks7979]

"Maybe somebody was about to say that they felt attracted to their sister " haha I wasn't expecting that

[@xzonia1]

He was checking to see who was listening. ;) Lol

[@pinkflamingo5977]

luke, yeah me too. I was like "huh? really, sir?". xzonia1, yup maybe he was checking :)

[@Blueissuperior]

right wtf, even your best friend probably wont let you explain that one

[@xxSophie360]

I scrolled down for this XD XD

[@aDRiaNCaSaLLo]

I had to check the comments to see how many people would comment on that. My brain just went “what?!🤯” when I heard it lol

[@sillypuddin4791]

Genuinely mind blown after listening to this. I feel like I always struggle to retain information or be an active listener while conversating with people and now that it was put into perspective that it can be acquainted to reading a book (someone else's story), it all of a sudden feels so much easier to maintain interest and retain information while talking to another.

[@SimonCher]

I feel this glosses over "reciprocating" in conversation. Being a good listener is important, but if you are entering a conversation focused only on editing and teasing out themes of the other, then the exchange stands at risk of becoming one-sided and unfruitful. I suppose, Ideally, all participants would know when to listen and when to share. They would be open to sharing and to being 'edited' in return. Also... I'm not trying to be clever, but I really had a difficult time listening to this video with the incessant background mumbling.

[@SimonCher]

Well conversation is, by its very nature, a reciprocal social event where we take turns 'gifting' the other with our words, thoughts, ideas. And of course the video is not saying 'don't reciprocate' - but in my experience of lauding the - rightfully noble - act of listening, some people take it to the extreme and leave it at listening - they are pleased with how well they've listened but perhaps ignore how they've failed to contribute, thereby denying the other(s) a chance to listen. I guess what I mean is, that listening is everything this video says it is - but listening alone does not produce good conversations. I think we should be careful about being good listeners if it means we do not reciprocate and share ourselves equally. This is, in the end, a selfish, defensive and ultimately self-righteous act that makes conversation boring.

[@nicolaimatthew5928]

@@SimonCher fully agree with everything you say.

[@chaitanyadandale4569]

@@nicolaimatthew5928 me too . I agree with simon

[@TeKeyaKrystal]

valid point, however, that'll fall in line.. ppl need to work on being better listeners

[@phhiggins]

Yes it was incredibly distracting

[@victorJ2050]

As a physician aspiring to become a psychiatrist., this lesson is of extreme importance to me. I've been trying to develop my listening skills for sometimes. I listen to my patients their relatives, my colleagues and staff. Its an amazing experience. You get be close to so many people around you.

[@bolivar1789]

Hello Victor. I thought this could help you and your patients a lot: onbeing.org/programs/rachel-naomi-remen-listening-generously/ Best wishes:-)

[@PaulAnteDanielsen]

Great video, but next time drop that mumbling effect of the cartoons. It is very distracting

[@wolfdogw4148]

I couldn't watch it to the end.

[@SinAndreww]

paul danielsen Nah they didn't put that in, you just have schizophrenia

[@xXxKumoxXx]

I'm pretty sure the whole point of it is to distract you from listening

[@existencedefieslogic9658]

paul danielsen you are right. I always get very distracted when the animation, howsoever wonderful, gets in the way of the contents. It happens not only with this channel but some other channels as well. Animation should always be subtle whether visually or aurally and should always go along with the content without trying to "one up" the content.

[@wolfdogw4148]

xXxKumoxXx well, they succeeded

[@geneon7924]

I was reading the comments while I was supposed to be listening.

[@nathaliev.m.4139]

I absolutely love the School of Life videos. And also with this one, the content is extremely helpful. However, the background noise of the mumbling figures was at least to me next to unbearable, almost painful while I had to try really hard to focus on the speaker's voice. Never the less, great work!

[@gilliannecowenn]

it was a great trick to get us to listen a lot more closely and make us more mentally engaged

[@gilliannecowenn]

or the complete opposite it depends

[@twinkytobar7509]

Same here!!!

[@litjunkie3808]

The background noise is so irritating !! It's almost smothering Alain's voice.Nevertheless the video was very enjoyable especially the comparison with novels..

[@philcollins5457]

Hands down my favorite film you have made yet. Anyone can speak eloquently at great length, but it takes a great deal of work to listen well, and even more work to reflect on and apply what stories we hear.

[@fandoms5ever]

Wow I would much rather listen to someone talk than talk about myself 90% of the time. I already know what I'm thinking I'd rather hear what's going on with other people.

[@jfalconredskins]

"Maybe someone is about to say that they felt attracted to their sister" Haha I love these videos, they really hold no punches and aren't afraid to say anything. I started with the Literature biographies, then saw a bunch of others, today I watched this one. Really excellent work. This might be my new favorite YT channel.

[@Aezra27]

The annoying background voice tho

[@MsGeorgiom]

I know, right?! My ADHD kicked in and I just couldn't concentrate on a single word the narrator was saying, with all the background voices!

[@Xtaticproduction]

That shit almost made me fcking insane.

[@MarinaFBoer]

Same here

[@reneewhite2009]

This is by far my favourite SoL video. I can completely relate to this and I genuinely feel like I've learnt something I can use. Especially like the idea of stopping someone to get them to revisit points in their story for clarification etc. I have two very close friends I can test this out on! Thanks for posting x

[@ludwigjosh9619]

now do a video about "how to be a good commentator"

[@Dclockvideos]

Someone tag this comment.

[@HoangNguyen-sy1be]

I need this. I can listen pretty enthusiastically but have no idea what questions to ask back to keep them talking

[@lillegitimate]

Very useful information, this short video alone has taught me more about conversation than a month of talk therapy.

[@livenletlive266]

Deeply grateful to you sir for producing such enlightening videos and raising our emotional intelligence 🙏

[@dailyrandomsmiles380]

book hair the new style for 2017

[@Claudia-fd1qc]

This video is phenomenal, as are many of your others :) Thank you for all the wisdom you provide us viewers with. The background noise makes it very difficult to focus on & enjoy the life-changing points this video is trying to get across; if there’s anyway you guys would be kind enough as to consider potentially removing said background noise in future videos, I’d (and many others) greatly appreciate it! :) I would really like to be able to fully focus on the excellent bits of knowledge your videos have to offer, without such distraction. Thank you for your time & any consideration you may give this comment! Have a good day ☀️

[@rachelle2227]

I'd rather talk about ideas rather than my life or someone else's life. I feel like the abstraction is much easier to find interesting. I like understanding other people through their beliefs or ideas more than unpacking their lives. I can also edit my beliefs sometimes based on what people say, or at least put them into question. Though discussing someone's life can be enjoyable too, if they open themselves up enough.

[@scottgreen132]

rachelle2227 I hear that a lot from very intelligent people. Any chance you study science? Particularly a physical science?

[@rachelle2227]

Mike I graduated from college last year with a psychology degree. I like discussing psychology, politics, religion, sociology, and a bit of philosophy the most. I've always been inquisitive, and these discussions are what that's evolved into. I like how I can reach my own conclusions through logic and discussion. School isn't what got me or kept me interested in these subjects really, as I've never been interested or good at remembering facts.

[@jakemf1]

rachelle2227 but people's experiences are fun to hear and experience along with them as they recount them!

[@supersting85]

It's amazing... as always. So true and acute viewpoint. Seems like the talker is doing exactly what a good listener does.

[@skditta959]

When it's the kind of person who is willing to express feelings, meets the person who would edit and encourage the expressions, it is then that the depiction in this video will come true. You suppose of such people and situation. I hope, this happens. When it does, it will be a transformative experience. Thank you, for making such unique, engaging videos.

[@FisayoFosudo]

I read a lot and I can confirm that this is 💯 Helpful!! Thanks TSOL! You guys are amazing!

[@hk9669]

These videos are so helpful and important - pure gold

[@jacobopstad5483]

This is great! You can help others become better conversationalists by being a good listener and showing more interest in the good parts of the story.

[@trunghoangvan5284]

So much to learn from the video. Every time I watch their videos, I learn a lot. I really want to write them down, but I do not want to be a bad spoiler. Let everyone practice listening.

[@balazstube]

Just thank you again for this gentle, kind, guiding and encouraging video :-)

[@AnnikaJensby]

Thanks for this video. This is why i'm subscribed. I love these topics on listening and its importance.

[@rea8585]

That is true for all kind of art too. The best sellers in all kind of arts are the one that are sticking to a frame that everybody can understand. That is why there is so many love longs.

[@bogdanvale700]

Very wise words of advice, thank you School of Life and keep up the amazing work!

[@worldofcyn]

this is a really freaking valuable video both for real life and I think it is very useful to apply in writing stories as you use as an example when talking about novels.

[@TheyCallMeNewb]

This is keen, and for myself, certainly most timely insight. Thank you.

[@TeKeyaKrystal]

i appreciate this breakdown; it didn't regurgitate other "good listening" tips

[@triskellian]

Good thoughtful content as usual. I love the wacky sense of humor in your animations,hilarious!

[@twinkytobar7509]

I have the following problem, I usually get bored with most of the people talking, so when is my turn to talk I focus more on no to be boring than in my story so I get anxious and try to make my story as short and as simple as possible.

[@ramusvinicini]

This is spot on and very well done. But (maybe an idea for a future video) good listening doesn't stop at words alone. Being able to listen to body language and read the situation is very important to share a moment or life with someone successfully.. keeping each other connected.

[@ZombieDragQueen]

It's more simple than this. If you care about the person then you'll be a good listener. This goes for books and films as well. If you don't care about the characters then you won't care what they have to say or what they do. I'm currently reading "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby and I've paused it for a couple weeks because I can't give two flying fucks about the main character. I don't really care about who he's dated. He seems boring and uninteresting. But I'll probably finish the book because the style is pretty good and I do love namedropping music bands. But if this would've been real life I wouldn't have continued listening to the character (though I would've visited his music shop, but not made small talk with him).

[@ZombieDragQueen]

That's a good point. If you think you'll get something from them then it might be worth listening to them, even though you'd rather not. But you don't have to get emotionally involved in the conversation. Just act like it, using phrases such as "Uhuu? Then what? Totally! So what did he/she answer to what you had to say? Get outta here! No way! Shiiiit..." and repeating the last words the person says or summarizing their story like "So after work I went to get groceries and stopped to fill the gas tank and when I cam home I was so tired I just filled the tub and took a long bath. - Aah, so you took a long bath (after work. Nice)." It makes you seem like you listen and care.

[@lolar6085]

Stefan B. I read that novel and watch the film too and liked everything except the guy. Now, you wrote that we listen if we care about the characters. It is not this the same as finding them interesting as the video suggest? I listen because I like to learn and teach and this channel and people commenting here is an opportunity to do it. And I hate the idea of being interesting so do not agree with the video. To me to talk and to listen is about sharing, learning, things like that.

[@lolar6085]

Cos I do not agree with you about listening because if you don't they might take offence. Usually it is enough if we say something like : Thanks for sharing but I cann't listen to you know (big smile) See you. I am sure most of us wouldn't mind.

[@lolar6085]

If I have to stay I ask questions or change the subject, or I say something like : I would like your opinion on this or I prefer not to talk about that , or I prefer to talk about this. I mean most people are friendly like us and kind and don't mind at all. What I think essential is good manners and a smile. We all too stressed and anxious most of the time!

[@lozzybozzy234]

I read high fidelity and felt exactly the same. There's nothing to like/identify with in the main character. He's boring and not a good person, you tend to hope that people are at least one or the other.

[@tee1778]

it takes a great man to be a good listener - Calvin Coolidge

[@simonreynolds9128]

Listening to a place can change our understandings of space to experience life in the unknown within and between friends exploring worlds.

[@elenaerozario9320]

this is such an important video All we do is talk but listening is such a huge deal this will help me a lot in the future

[@luvuyolondwaskosana2508]

Really great video. Amazing to hear how other creators think of how we view each others content. 💜

[@irisfus7972]

Best one so far,great job.

[@pivotal-ai]

If I someday create a school of sorts or have control over a curriculum. There will be a class that views every single video of yours and analyzing over it, contemplating critically. Your content is very high quality, and I greatly appreciate what you are doing for the world. I hope all of this content becomes viral and common knowledge, the human race would benefit greatly. Much appreciated!

[@cherrymetoo]

this channel absolutely knows what my problem is!!!!

[@Sniffr0st]

is it yourself ?

[@notallthatbad]

Being curious makes it easy to listen.

[@t.e.n3466]

I thought that was one of your best videos..thank you!

[@CsarManuGames]

One of best videos of the channel!

[@nunyabeezwax1439]

This is so true. Well done 👍

[@jopetaldecoa]

THHANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!

[@godlymusicreater]

Thanks for the video! Really needed this as I do not listen to companions on many occasions. Haha.

[@tharushka1]

good concert. simple English content. I easily understood. thank you!

[@eaaeeeea]

I've been writing some songs to be as universal as possible - vague enough so people can relate. After this video for the first time in my life I thought my storytelling skills might benefit from practicing it on a diary!

[@cassandradantico500]

this was so helpful. I'm a terrible listener and terrible story teller. Mostly because I feel like people aren't interested in my stories, or im boring to listen too, but then I struggle to listen to other people, im always just off daydreaming about other shit.

[@domingo2977]

thank you so much for this this helped me understand how to communicate better

[@mohsenrafiee335]

I think our minds can instinctively decide whether or not something that is being said is worth listening to. In other words, we absorb the information that we are hungry for. In lots of occasions I have found my mind wandering while l was supposed to be listening to the person talking to my face.

[@RyTheUnDefined]

this has to be one of your very best!

[@sunshine9016]

This is very helpful. Thank you!

[@winsoncys]

I'm here to learn how to be a good listener. Ended up doing that the most literal way imaginable.

[@dewi9611]

Please make a video about judgemental person. How not to be one, how to deal with them, and why do they be such a person. Thanks :)

[@movingon2081]

Everybody judges its human nature

[@nadinesimon2771]

This is such a great video!

[@23rdStateofMind]

oh really wanted to hear this thanks

[@Carol-dc2kj]

Thanks for the video. I liked it and am eager to try these techniques.

[@jayfawn8478]

Me is opposite. I love to listen to other's bussiness and how they mess up to their lives. Its interesting and inspiring at the same time. Also I avoid the conversation that put me in hot seat I always divert it back to themselves.

[@Blindboard100]

"Talk about what is universally relevant other than what is locally specific!" I love talking about science for this reason

[@EpicBeard815]

YOU'RE GIVING AWAY MY SECRET TECHNIQUES

[@akashnair8537]

No cockroaches were harmed during this animation.

[@nataliaivashkina]

Reminds me of How To Dad

[@bolivar1789]

1. Evelyn Glennie is deaf, but she is an incredible musician! She is one of the best percussion players in the world! She has an amazing TED Talk called " How to truly listen". It is about listening to music, but we could also apply to many of the things she says when we listen to each other. Like this one: " We have to listen to ourselves, first of all". It is so true...We must take some silent time everyday to see what's going on inside us. If you can't even listen to yourself, how can you ever pay attention to anybody else? I think the closer we get to ourselves, the closer we get to others too. I recommend everyone to use Alain's philosophical meditation for that silent time. ( Just watch their video Philosophical Meditation, and click on the link below to print the questions. They are extremely helpful! ) 2. There is also a very helpful podcast with Alain de Botton about this. For friends who are new here he is the founder of this channel and the narrator in these videos. Just search for: " BBC 4, A Point of View, Alain de Botton, The Art of Conversation". 3. Since it is a skill we can learn, I think it also helps a lot to listen to great conversations. Here are some examples from podcasts I am addicted to, with the name of a particularly good episode: -The New York Public Radio Podcast ( Jay Z, On Hustling and Forgiveness ) -On Being with Krista Tippett ( Alain de Botton ) -The 7th Avenue Project ( Joshua Oppenheimer ) - Shrink Rap Radio ( this is an excellent psychology podcasts with one shrink interviewing another. You can start with the episode " The Lies We Tell Ourselves" with Jon Frederickson ) - Paul Holdengräber's Podcast ( Elisabeth Gilbert ) -Malcolm Gladwell's wonderful podcast " Revisionist History" ( Generous Orthodoxy ) - Magic Lessons with Elisabeth Gilbert ( This is the best podcast I know, on living a creative life! ) 4.. There is another wonderful podcast episode by Krista Tippet called " Listening generously" with Rachel Naomi Yemen. It is a conversation full of valuable insights which can help us to become better listeners. 5. I loved these words by Theodore Zeldin from his book "Conversation": " The kind of conversation I am interested in is one which you start with a willingness to emerge a slightly different person. It is always an experiment, whose results are never guaranteed. It involves risk. It 's an adventure in which we agree to cook the world together and make it taste less bitter". 6. From that conversation, we learn that in some cases it is more appropriate just to listen. The Budhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has a book called " How to love" where he explains it very beautifully. He dedicates an entire chapter to :"Compassionate Listening". You can also watch a video on youtube where he explains it. This is what he says: "Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart. Even if he says things that are full of wrong perceptions, full of bitterness, you are still capable of continuing to listen with compassion. Because you know that listening like that, you give that person a chance to suffer less. If you want to help him to correct his perception, you wait for another time. For now, you don’t interrupt. You don’t argue. If you do, he loses his chance. You just listen with compassion and help him to suffer less. One hour like that can bring transformation and healing.” 7. Existential psychiatrist Irvin Yalom wrote his latest book " Creatures of a day" when he was 80 years old. It means after listening to people's sorrow and pain for more than 50 years!!! And in that book he tells us that even for such an experienced psychiatrist as he is, "listening someone properly" is a very difficult task. Because as you are hearing the person in front of you, his words make you think about so many things you could say, but you should decide for the best option among them and for the best moment to say it, while still trying to focus on what he is telling you. 8. This may sound very weirdo, but I care a lot about remembering the things people tell me and since I don't trust my memory, I write them down. If you want to build a profound friendship with someone you should keep track of his / her life too. We must also always deeply value the trust people have in us when they offer us their stories. Thanks a lot for this very valuable lesson and for the excellent animation!

[@sheldonfrazier6142]

I love these but this might be the best one I’ve seen.

[@andreicotofan3105]

wow guys you did it again. well done. hope you make more videos. have you ever entertained the idea of giving life to a podcast ? i know i would love it

[@yshemesh]

Wow ... another gem

[@curiousfiend1169]

Damn, this really good stuff. Thanks.

[@pez4]

Thanks so much!

[@st0ox]

didn't listn lol

[@Missmagazinebura]

st0ox lol I didn't even listen to the video

[@rosimerz6788]

I found the content of this video excellent. Maybe my favourite TSOL.

[@LucasDanielSantoro]

I have to learn this. On both speaker and listener roles.

[@frogdog2583]

the ending of this video is the best part

[@anandabliss7382]

Alain, If I had your voice, and your gracefulness, I would speak all the time, and I would not be interested to listen to anyone.

[@ajuchala1503]

I didn’t realized that I was distracted until I processed the fact that I was scrolling through the comments and reading while the video was playing.

[@JOEYDEEZ369]

Both my ears are broken so listening isn’t an option for me really but I do lip read so I can get the gist of what’s being said & I do this attentively to the best of my ability - then I make excuses to get away from whatever the situation call for… you can only hold your attention for so long I got a life to be living !

[@antoniofelipefurini4414]

I love the language they speak...

[@fasilatsanusi7431]

Sometimes merely seen the title of a write up makes me lose interest in active listening and my brain will give a kind of quick interpretation based on my own perception 🙂 and this often lead to awkward reaction...thanks for the clarity.

[@sebastianmartin1156]

oh my just wow that was a great video keep up the good work 😁😁😁

[@einseitig3391]

Brilliant.

[@ashooaway]

Trust me, the more you listen to this, the more value it'll provide

[@Amelia-hu8vc]

Oh my gosh! Please remake this video all together. I love the school of life and this video is so strange. Please 😊♥️

[@zodayn4767]

I came here to lear how to become a good listener not expecting to also learn think how to be a great athor. So thanks!

[@AutomticHeart]

I bet the synchronisation of the animated people must have been fun!

[@Gabriel-lm7jw]

Agree looking into speakers eye is key. But first time I've heard being a listener is like being an editor. Sensible.

[@evek2572]

Useful ideas

[@DivineUnionTV]

Self-clarification is something we learned was a really pronounced part of speaking when we started doing videos ... but I learn as much about myself when watching others' videos. As a therapist I get bored with most one on one talking because it is almost always the same story from everyone (as I do the translation I mentioned below) Universally Relevant vs. Locally Specific is a translation I started making after reading Joseph Campbell, who is pure awesome sauce on steroids with cream.

[@miguellama7618]

Holy F***, you guys are genius

[@kween7866]

Came here bc my family says I gotta habit of cutting off and need to be a better listener. Anyone else in my shoes

[@jack_amie]

"Hmm" "really" "you don't say" "aha" "oh okay". Repeat x3 and reply at random. There you're a great listener!

[@3pleFly]

These are affirmation to that you are actually listening, they are supposed to be tools to let the other person know that you are listening, but also an affirmation to one's weirdness, if done with the combination of actual comments that direct and help the talker to self-clarify, the you're looking at comments that are in-fact telling the other person: to go on, to open up. These allow for the unusual or the weird. without judgement!

[@LuizFelipe-lk1hs]

don't forget to occasionally nod your head

[@yohanas6939]

Ikr

[@joshuaabrego6079]

Lol, I find that a pet peeve of mine when people do that (but the sucky thing is that I know I can fall into those fake mhmm's too when I'm not really listening). I'm not an expert in the listening field, but I think that we naturally do those affirmatives when we're intentionally and genuinely listening, but there's a difference between truly listening and "trying" to listen. If we're trying, it's like performing an act to make them see that we're listening (or trying TOO hard), but when we genuinely listen, most of us naturally do it without thinking.

[@curiousfiend1169]

Lol, don't forget to actually be attentive, to what the others trying to communicate, as well.