How To Be Happy Around Narcissists: Creating a Happy Bubble Using Observe Don't Absorb!

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Ross Rosenberg

Ross Rosenberg

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 106
@juliecuilli7123
@juliecuilli7123 2 жыл бұрын
This happened to me. I have no friends and I know it's for the best. My mother is my guardian angel, I am 50 years old and starting over. I enforce boundaries with everyone and I know a better life is ahead. Bottom line: I had nothing but assholes in my life up to now and now I only allow non-toxic, quality people in my life. I am worth it! And so is everyone.
@amberc3728
@amberc3728 2 жыл бұрын
@shipratrika2586
@shipratrika2586 2 жыл бұрын
Same here..it’s mind blowing and unbelievable to think that is all what I knew till now..all your friends family in-laws are all narcs except 2-3 people..sometimes I just think how is this possible, maybe I’m wrong.
@susantodd7169
@susantodd7169 2 жыл бұрын
Me too. No one. If it wasn’t for my faith I’d have lost it🙏
@juliecuilli7123
@juliecuilli7123 2 жыл бұрын
@@susantodd7169 Hang in there. You're not alone.
@godzillamanstreb524
@godzillamanstreb524 Жыл бұрын
You’re not alone
@tammyfitzgerald5336
@tammyfitzgerald5336 7 ай бұрын
Respect is a must every where no matter who you are we all deserve respect ❤❤❤❤
@1RPJacob
@1RPJacob 2 жыл бұрын
_“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”_ - Friedrich Nietzsche
@jeanetteshawredden5643
@jeanetteshawredden5643 2 жыл бұрын
I say: "i am *not only* upset that you lied to me, *but also* that I can no longer believe you".
@ladyluck5248
@ladyluck5248 Жыл бұрын
I had to walk away from my entire family of origin. They just can’t love respect or care for me. They just want to abuse me. Over and over. I had to go no contact and grieve. I realized I grieved what I realized I really wanted : a healthy family with healthy relationships but I also know it is something I could NEVER have from them. I CHOSE to walk away from people who will criticize me for everything I am , even the way I breathe.
@kjbkjhkjhjk7775
@kjbkjhkjhjk7775 6 ай бұрын
happy for you beautiful
@Mysticus11
@Mysticus11 2 жыл бұрын
As horrifying as this experience is, it’s good to know that others have gone through this, thanks for sharing, it helps depersonalisation a very confusing and painful phenomenon ☮️
@kellyeaguirre5392
@kellyeaguirre5392 2 жыл бұрын
well said hun!
@malenagail1491
@malenagail1491 2 жыл бұрын
I am a few years into setting these boundaries. Of course I am the bad guy, but I finally understood that I had to protect myself. Now I am able to change the direction of conversations when they are leading to a negative path. I try to stay positive or at least neutral. After a bit, the person sees they are not getting their narcissistic needs met and they either move on to something else or end the conversation Lol Trying to stay consistent is key. Honor your boundaries
@Eye2C33
@Eye2C33 2 жыл бұрын
My god I needed this right now. For anyone else HAVING to temporarily be around them…. I feel ya…. We got this 💯
@jacquelinefroehle5868
@jacquelinefroehle5868 2 жыл бұрын
I was at a wedding with a whole large Group of abusive minded narcissist. Many of them came to me with mean remarks, ....one asked to talk with me, and I did. They said "I always knew you loved me, but you're not good enough for me"....Arrogantly. So, I nicely walked away. Then it was like Divine Guidance said "Heck with these people....Dance like nobody is watching"....and I did.. I absolutely loved dancing and not caring what any one of them thought about me at all. Yes, later they made snide remarks...."You must have broken the heels off your shoes"....Me: No...I brought an extra pair that are good for dancing. Do things that MAKE YOU HAPPY.....and say "What other people think about me, is not my business"....God wants us to be JOYFUL....so go do that. Bless everyone working thru abuse situations....don't take them on.
@cherylwarren9848
@cherylwarren9848 2 жыл бұрын
Setting boundaries at work with narcissists since I got more self love and respect - you have to be able to walk away if you don’t get respected there too
@OO-hm7ch
@OO-hm7ch 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you 💖 I've just set these boundaries with my close family properly for the first time ever... I feel like am starting my new life at 36. Finally able to be my true self without fear or anxiety. 🌈🌻🎉🎶💖
@carolynparton8842
@carolynparton8842 2 жыл бұрын
Good for you....it only gets better. 👍
@OO-hm7ch
@OO-hm7ch 2 жыл бұрын
@@carolynparton8842 Thank you Carolyn. It has been such a difficult thing to do. Because I care about them so much. But, mental health and boundaries are important for my children and I, and thier children too. I want to teach them how to be strong and how to keep moving forward, regardless of the circumstances. I wish everyone all the best. We can only lead by example. 💖
@sarahvministry
@sarahvministry 2 жыл бұрын
Same but I'm 42
@cyndigooch1162
@cyndigooch1162 2 жыл бұрын
The best way to be around highly narcissistic individuals, or groups of them, is not to be! I'm very aware that it's not always possible though. ❤
@rigleiaknapp3227
@rigleiaknapp3227 2 жыл бұрын
I am so happy and grateful to find you and your work! I am starting my healing journey.
@StealthFlightFPV
@StealthFlightFPV 2 жыл бұрын
Big takeaway for me was setting expectations for toxic and narcissistic people. Thanks for putting this video together.
@universaltruth2025
@universaltruth2025 2 жыл бұрын
The last 2 yrs have been a crash course on human nature. It’s highlighted that a percentage of the population are highly sensitive people (HSP) who have heightened emotional & physical sensitivity & awareness of their environment. There is an evolutionary advantage for retaining this trait in a population & it exists in many species, including fruit flies. The purpose is to be more aware of both threat and opportunity. Unfortunately those with this trait, are by nature subject to a lot more suffering due to being more emotionally sensitive, empathetic, aware of rejection, more easily hurt, and experience more negative emotion. It can create a cycle of negative feedback which can strengthen negative emotion and damaging self beliefs. Without self awareness we internalise the negative messages instead of externalising them & we can become easy scapegoats. So its a difficult position to be in. Self awareness is key so we can adjust (lower) our expectations of others behaviour - understanding that they simply do not have the heightened sensitivity or empathy to read or respond in the same way. If we understand this it can lessen the hurt we feel in not feeling validated, listened to or understood, as most people simply aren’t on the same wave length. When we connect with other HSPs we are more likely to get meaningful connection & validation - but also we need to learn to create it internally. Although the majority of the population aren’t capable of connecting in a way we would prefer or feel most comfortable - they have other traits that are equally important. They are often good at getting on with the physical tasks of day to day life, because their energy is not being drained by the constant alertness to threat, and the nuances of life that the HSPs among us are constantly analysing & assessing.
@nancygittleman9325
@nancygittleman9325 2 жыл бұрын
Thank You for putting that so well.I relate to that completely. How/where does an HSP find others ? It's Very isolating after ridding life of toxic people. Would love to connect (form a group) with other HSP's who were raised by Narcissists and have had relationships with Narcissists/Anti social personality disordered people.Thanks,Nancy
@dddavenger
@dddavenger 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing and giving me knowledge to know how to handle myself over the Year's of not knowing what I was going through over a 30 year marriage. I am single now and feeling safe, healthier, at 🕊️ and no contact since the Pandemic of COVID-19 to heal my broken 💔 I am gratefully feeling whole and have peace. I learned to observe and not absorb. I have boundaries. My lists of negatives keeps me from remembering the good from the bad. I am learning the Art of Being my best self (Erich Fromm). Once again, "Thank You."
@dorotamankowski4968
@dorotamankowski4968 2 жыл бұрын
I have a similar story. Feeling much wiser now though, applying the technic “observe don't react”. And feels fantastic to know I'm authentic and true to myself.
@chrisg7795
@chrisg7795 2 жыл бұрын
It took me decades to stop expecting my mother to be interested in who I truly am, what I feel, love, care or worry about. When I stopped, my depression lessened by 80%, I would say. I didn’t train myself to do so. I hadn’t become love abundant by then. I used to dissociate at first, as I had always done. And then my feelings and trust just stopped and I became indifferent. Then I learned about narcissism and just became curious, meaning I unintentionally got into observe, don’t absorb mode. I never contact my parents when I feel sad or emotional about sth., meaning, I never contact them when I need a hug because I’d get rejected. I don’t show vulnerability any more. I think, my mother can’t help herself and I can’t help her. Her inner barrier is too high, she is too old to expose her to the hurt of truly realizing the impact of what she is doing. I think she does realize it but cuts the realization out at once. I can see that flicker of realization in her eyes, she freezes for a second or gets nervous. But then she directly leaves the situation, either by actually leaving or by changing the subject. My impression is that it’s an unconscious reflex. I’ve seen that in children (I’m a teacher) who get emotionally abused by their parents. They usually just stand very still or get into short-lived fight mode. When I happen to witness such incidents I take them aside later and tell them that it’s not their fault, and that their dad/mum just wasn’t able to control their personal mood, and that adults unfortunately make mistakes, too. So when I tell them that, they freeze again or get fidgety, look away and very obviously just want to forget. My personal conclusion is that this freeze reaction is how a disorder starts. My mother still does this. I do hope that my words reach those kids’ souls, even if they can’t show it. I don’t want them to get stuck in the loop of “shedding” aggression - dissociation of shame like my mother. And I don’t want them to get stuck in a half-awake state, a semi-dissociation which is, in my opinion, depression.
@pattyrobinson
@pattyrobinson 2 жыл бұрын
Well-said. Very insightful. Thank you for sharing.
@sunshine-sm6nf
@sunshine-sm6nf 2 жыл бұрын
i went to a Xmas thing with my narcisstic family this year after not being with them for a few years but yes I do miss some semblance of family. I went this year and like you I expected nothing, they are just being themselves. No expectations really helps alot.
@carolynparton8842
@carolynparton8842 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Mr. Ross...you have enlightened my way of thinking profoundly. It has changed my life for the best. Your AWSOME!!! 👍
@AZDC99
@AZDC99 2 жыл бұрын
You CAN'T negotiate with some terrorists in some cases. The LOW CONTACT just did not work anymore. The "observe don't absorb" stopped working too. Finally, had to go beyond boundaries and go NO CONTACT
@bobc9786
@bobc9786 2 жыл бұрын
"emotional and psychological orphan" - I figured out I felt this way a few years ago. I can't believe you have put together this work so succinctly. It is a ton of stuff to figure out on your own and your work is a great help. Thank you so much.
@sonflowerfloridagirl5247
@sonflowerfloridagirl5247 2 жыл бұрын
I found this video tonight and it has liberated me! It has set me free! Thank you Lord! He led me to this because it opened the door to a prison that was being built around me the last few weeks, one I couldn't identify. Tonight the Lord knew I was praying, earnestly searching for something that would fix this, to "make me a better person" (SLDD), to help with this pain. The severe oppression was bringing me depression and the reason I couldn't identify it was because it was cloaked in love, it was someone in the church. That's why I know the Lord showed me this. The Word says, "you will know the truth and the truth will make you free." John 8:32. I found Ross and his material a few months ago. This video also clarified the hurt I've received from my family. They're all narcissists (serious) and I was reminded again that I was an "Active Codependent". Thank you Ross for all your work and research. And thank you Lord for answering my prayer and setting me free with the truth!
@mariaawake4502
@mariaawake4502 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for being so honest, Dr. Rosenberg.
@juliej1520
@juliej1520 2 жыл бұрын
That sounds so good. You've done so well and its an ongoing process. We can only control ourselves not others. 🙏🙏 Thank you.
@sheiladay197
@sheiladay197 2 жыл бұрын
I pretty much have observed and not absorbed with some people at work, neighbors, etc. If they become too intrusive and will not leave me alone, harass and are abusive, I withdraw completely. I cannot change people. All you can do is accept people for who they are. It is not personal, and is how they interact. You can only know what you know. With men who want a romantic relationship, I remove myself if they do not love, respect and care for me from the very beginning. My ex and I pretty much lived separate lives until I divorced him. I stopped taking any abuse and decided to live my life and love my kids. He left me alone. I do not think leaving him out of our lives while living together was a good thing for our children to witness. We did not belong together, but for awhile I could not afford to leave.
@ad6417
@ad6417 2 жыл бұрын
Ross I used ODA sucessfully in a recent relationship with a manipulative man. Ultimately I had to dump him because I was getting nothing from the relationship. The good news is I'm not traumatized and feel great about my decision.
@pattyrobinson
@pattyrobinson 2 жыл бұрын
I can relate!
@mrbartlomiej
@mrbartlomiej 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video, Ross. Good point on the knowing yourself.
@teresatatum5145
@teresatatum5145 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, yes! I had to self love me! Set boundaries and refuse to let family or friends infect or affect me with their own issues 💯. It took awhile, but I am here now! Thank you
@OutlawShelz
@OutlawShelz 2 жыл бұрын
Great insight Ross thank you, observe don't absorb is so key. Working on getting to self love abundance!
@daniellatan9016
@daniellatan9016 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for all your videos, Dr Rosenberg! With your help, I am getting there!
@ellemoo44
@ellemoo44 Жыл бұрын
Fortunately my family weren't hypnotised by the narc because they saw for themselves what he was up to first hand I lost a whole bunch of friends that were toxic and using me. Not really a loss at all!! We must thank ourselves for this clarity and strength to move on and create new healthy friendships
@scott8940
@scott8940 2 жыл бұрын
In dysfunctional extended family units it more often is MOST of the "family" members that are the enablers and the flying monkeys for that one narcissist in the family that controls and bullys... It takes upsetting the entire bad apple cart to reveal the dysfunction and that tends to be drastic for most to be able to do. If one really wants to heal in some circumstances one does have to remove the dysfunctional "family" that is causing the hurt. It's insane not to !
@stivo9730
@stivo9730 2 жыл бұрын
Wow. Impressive and liberating. Hopefully I'll get there too. There is hope. Thanks, Ross. 🙏
@n0426
@n0426 Жыл бұрын
God it helps so much to get your own closer. They won’t give you closer but answering in silence to your proclamation is like them saying you aren’t worth it/ i don’t need you. But you are already self abundant and know your own worth. So it’s THEIR loss.
@helenluceyatkins7290
@helenluceyatkins7290 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Ross. A most informative video. I'm certain a lot of people will benefit from this. Thank you again.
@catherinepraus8635
@catherinepraus8635 2 жыл бұрын
It's hard to do this when you've been groomed you whole life, but not impossible I've been in counseling for 4yr now and I'm strong enough now to just walk away from toxic people life is so much better to be able to finally stand up for yourself and set boundaries It's essential for your own mental health, thank you for your videos they really helps😉😊
@Starburst75
@Starburst75 2 жыл бұрын
Yes! Hard but definitely POSSIBLE! Happy for you. I’m on my own journey as well.
@6985794
@6985794 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your knowledge I’ve never would of figured out after 3 narc females in a row sorta am paranoid of all toxic people around me starting with my family am alone for now with my dog and feels like a new chapter in my life for the better 63 years not understanding my emotions I’ve carried all my life being raised by a narc dad and abandoned by my mom numb after this awakening but am wiser and stronger now and finally found god.
@sinead.
@sinead. Жыл бұрын
Wow it's so good to hear your experience. I experienced similar and it's been about three years since I've heard no response from my family after I spoke up about my belief of my dad being a pedophile in order to protect the younger generation.
@dorotamankowski4968
@dorotamankowski4968 2 жыл бұрын
Fantastic video. Thank you for your knowledge. The technic “observe don't react” is working magic.
@ezbless100
@ezbless100 Жыл бұрын
excellent, I think I am there. I have had a lot of life time experience with this and totally get it, so good! I am now a grandma, and yes, the narcs in my life and family have definitely not decreased and yes, I still tend to magnetize them, but I recognize them and can adjust myself in that setting to be authentically self loving and me! It takes awareness, recognition, acceptance and then the dance can begin and end well within time constraints that you have set as boundaries
@rGrizz
@rGrizz 2 жыл бұрын
Ross I can’t thank you enough for you’re eduction, motivation, and the ability the provide experiences which I can empathize and vice versa. I’m 21 and moved out in my own and it’s been a major challenge in a lot of areas. I’ve been lost for so long and sometimes had the thought of giving up because I’ll never get the help and this video/program has intrigued and inspired me that I can get better, I can one day have my family and that I don’t need to avoid all the people that have hurt me but rather accept them one day and have self love abundance. I no longer want to burying myself through addictions, escapes and multitudes of YT videos burying me even deeper and losing hope. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! - C
@RedheadedWritinghood
@RedheadedWritinghood 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this Ross. This makes so much sense and it is what's happened to me. I am learning to have boundaries and it's hard because many have exited my life. But more were trying to enter but I am still learning and those are gone also. Your information has been very helpful.
@matejavegh8107
@matejavegh8107 2 жыл бұрын
I'm struggling the most when there are multiple nacs in a group and they feed each other supply and bully others, including me. I've seen it in highschool, in college, in tthe workplace.. and they just won't let you stand up for yourself or just be "you" and have normal healthy communication with them or anyone else because they see it as abnormal and weak... it's hard to stay in your bubble or do what you want when they try to pull you down all the time
@chrisg7795
@chrisg7795 2 жыл бұрын
@Mateja Vegh I totally get you, I’ve been there, too, and I’m still working on it. I think they feed on your defense. May I suggest sth to you that has helped me? When sb bullys me I straighten my back and get arrogant. Not by saying sth, but by looking them up and down and listening for a couple of seconds first. Then I interrupt them and tell them that this is quite enough, but that I thank them for sharing their opinion. It always, always stops them in their tracks, and all on-lookers will respect you and turn away from them, or, if they are true cowards, pretend that they have sth to get done, but they will leave the situation. Where there’s nothing to defend (you haven’t made a mistake or at least I’m quite sure you haven’t broken any of the ten commandments) you have the right to be arrogant. And if you allow them a couple of seconds to abuse you you have shown respect for their “opinion” and may then interrupt them with a good conscience. Try it. I discovered this when I was in a situation where I just KNEW that I was good at what I did and where I actually did feel above their made-up criticism. So my arrogance and interruption came naturally - but this moment was like a moment of enlightenment. I tried it in situations where I felt more vulnerable. Imagine yourself arrogant, imagine your raised eyebrows and looks. Be prepared with such people, prepared to switch to arrogance and interruption mode. Let me know how it goes 👹🤗.
@ellemoo44
@ellemoo44 Жыл бұрын
Wow. This was the perfect video at the perfect time! I feel so relieved. Its isolating when you decide to not be that person you were any more and refuse to be around flying monkeys. All of the people who are effectively using us for their own security are brought to the surface and we are faced with a choice, to cut off or keep pretending. I choose cut off 😊 Thank you so much for this ❤️
@christiem0716
@christiem0716 2 жыл бұрын
Hi I'm a new subscriber. I really appreciate your openness and honesty. Hearing your personal story definitely builds trust in my end and makes me relate to you more, so thank you for that and for having a real honest channel 🙏
@afriyiedankyi8545
@afriyiedankyi8545 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for shearing your bold experience.
@juliecuilli7123
@juliecuilli7123 2 жыл бұрын
...and I agree you can interact with certain people, I just choose not to. I love your view on lowered expectations.
@poemsjones4184
@poemsjones4184 2 жыл бұрын
Live and let live. Love so when you understand you let other be who they are.
@69er775
@69er775 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Ross, you are amazing. I couldn’t do what you did.way too many years of abuse from the sibling narcs. My mum passed away last week (Narc master puppet maker and triangulater) and the hoovers have started with the flying monkeys with the youngest sibling partner, texting me. Iv blocked my brothers phone as he would call and abuse down the phone. I won’t be going to the service but I will carry out my own goodbyes in my own way with my daughter in a couple of weeks time. I “buried” my whole birth family many many years ago. I live a peaceful life now. I will never allow those monsters to get within 6 feet of me to carry out their vile insidious mind games and physical abuse on me. I applaud you Ross for all the self work you have done. Just some crimes only god can forgive….. ✝️
@Hope-bk8nw
@Hope-bk8nw 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Ross
@Hope-bk8nw
@Hope-bk8nw 2 жыл бұрын
You have been instrumental part of my healing..God Bless 🙌 🙏
@Hope-bk8nw
@Hope-bk8nw 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Ross..has a new meaning to me..
@susantodd7169
@susantodd7169 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your story. I am so tired of begging for my 2 grown children attention. They are victims of parental alienation. It is so super upsetting for me. But I set some limits and said if u want to hear or see me it’s a 2 second text away. They go to visit their dad 1.5 miles away from me and say we will Come by if we have time. I am so done. I’m crying. I’d love to take one of your classes . I really think I have CPTSD.
@imalimabean6686
@imalimabean6686 2 жыл бұрын
That includes many family and friends. That has left a gap. However, i am grateful to realize that time wasted being used by those people, opens more time for those who will! Unfortunately, i occasionally trip, falling back into hoping they care more than they do....opening myself to more hurt. If i can just keep it real; dropping-in once in a while without expectations or injury
@alyssaleatham8544
@alyssaleatham8544 6 ай бұрын
This is beautiful. Thank you❤
@sandi2490
@sandi2490 8 ай бұрын
I am going thru that right now!
@jane9469
@jane9469 2 жыл бұрын
When i lived with a covert narc, i tried so incredibly hard to use this technique. To little avail 😔 when i would try to mind my own business, and not react she would continue to provoke me. For instance i was cooking something and she grabbed the spoon out of my hand drunkenly. I ignored her but the anger i experienced came out later and i verbally attacked her. She watched and i could see the satisfaction in her face along with indignation and; "see how horribly you treat me!" It felt impossible not to react angrily because she was financially destroying me and acting as if this entitlement was appropriate and that i deserved it. I felt like i was losing everything i had so i had no other choice. She would say "lifes not fair!" I still feel awe-struck by the family gaslighting to excuse her behavior. I luckily had family that was willing to help me in my dire situation. And so far i feel much more respected and safe. But i still keep thinking about the whole experience and i would say it traumatized me. Now shes messaging me and i am bewildered because she is so deeply covert that i feel so many people around me would do the same.
@vivianmoore3205
@vivianmoore3205 2 жыл бұрын
"Thank You!"🌷
@nancythornton2947
@nancythornton2947 2 жыл бұрын
My narc sister in law had a family reunion and did not invite me or my daughters on purpose. Yes I hurt when I found out about it. Now I just pray for them because they must really hurt to go to such lengths to hurt me. She hates that I went on with my life and are happy.
@IlaryG
@IlaryG 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you ❤️
@rogerdale1883
@rogerdale1883 2 жыл бұрын
I am in an identical situation,my family is made up of overt covert and just plain narcissists,I studied psychology for 21 years and my ex is an covert narc my eldest son is overt and the youngest is just a plain narc,but the gaslighting within the family is to alienate me from any contact ,so now i have so much more cash finance from any of them taking advantage of me anymore.it took me a long time to get over the mental pain of being betrayed after i had done so much for them,but the knowledge definitely helped me out immensely, there is a saying that i have adopted that if any one you have known does not give you a phone call once in a year they are not worth knowing and you have lost nothing and they are not your friends.
@Angell_Lee
@Angell_Lee Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, you are amazing!
@ninjagirlnomeansno9403
@ninjagirlnomeansno9403 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely stupendous, Thank you so much Ross, You're absolutely beautiful, A gem, Peace, love to you and everyone, Thank you universe 🌌🐉👽⚘️⚘️🥰🥰🌷😍🧿👁💎🦄💫🛸✨️😀😊🌷
@sage9836
@sage9836 2 жыл бұрын
This is next level!
@janicebeauchamp61
@janicebeauchamp61 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you wonderful video 🙏❤️👍
@dddavenger
@dddavenger 2 жыл бұрын
I read your book, to.
@takeiteasy7062
@takeiteasy7062 10 ай бұрын
So Ros Ross if you dont mind me asking, if you were brought up with your siblings why are you not the same as them? Do we not model our parents behaviours as children and are shaped by the age of 7 to what we are exposed to within the home? Just wondering. Thankyou.
@tammyfitzgerald5336
@tammyfitzgerald5336 7 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂I am the only one also trust me this is a learn behavior and I was always told I was different ❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉Ty Jesus
@joehutchinson24
@joehutchinson24 Жыл бұрын
I recently began to understand that this has been my 50 year relationship with my family members. I am still too heartbroken to be able to visit them and clearly need to work change my expectations before I would be able to go to a family reunion, but hope it can happen some day. My question is once you have learned to radically lower your expectations how to you deal with the humiliation of knowing that in the best case scenario someone will ask you how you have been and then cut you off before moving on to another subject. Even if you don't let any of this bother you you are still feeding their narcissism merely by being in their presence. Any advice
@harleyfsbo3027
@harleyfsbo3027 2 жыл бұрын
I’m a long ways from reaching the point that you have Dr Rosenberg. I can understand this method working with siblings, parents and other family members but if it’s your spouse, I just don’t see how it will ... it’s not healthy because their is no quiet or easy way of pulling away and physically distancing yourself from your spouse whenever you want to without rupturing your marriage. And if you choose emotional distance instead then it still gets ‘noticed’ and the result is the same and at any rate, what is the point of being married if you are driven to the point of wanting distance from your husband or wife for prolonged periods just to preserve your sanity? Doesn’t sound like a formula for marital bliss or relationship longevity to me! I can wear a bubble around everywhere me but when you are married I just don’t know how that works.
@darribasarribas5994
@darribasarribas5994 2 жыл бұрын
And what if you have to no work with them in a small space for many hours a day. How do you do it?
@sundown2221
@sundown2221 7 ай бұрын
Boundaries don’t work for me but keeping calm and straight face does
@aynosanyroh4092
@aynosanyroh4092 2 жыл бұрын
TY
@townmom9132
@townmom9132 2 жыл бұрын
How do you do this when the narc is an ex spouse and we share custody of two teenage kids?
@POS3278
@POS3278 7 ай бұрын
I was wondering if you were like you were at the reunion from the get go, you would have been able to enjoy your family always? 🤷
@azaramoon4027
@azaramoon4027 2 жыл бұрын
Ive had the same problem.
@alexazriel
@alexazriel 2 жыл бұрын
How about narcissistic authoritarian government as father figure? How do we survive/fight that?
@hugmc
@hugmc 2 жыл бұрын
You don’t develop self Love recovery
@charlee2470
@charlee2470 2 жыл бұрын
I was wondering how someone can know if they are a covert narcissist themselves? Is it true that you can't be an overt/covert narcissist if you worry that you may be one?
@rigleiaknapp3227
@rigleiaknapp3227 2 жыл бұрын
In my non professional opinion, if you have the ability to question this type of behavior you are probably not. But you could have learned the behavior. So therapy and healing would help.
@allisonelizondo1556
@allisonelizondo1556 2 ай бұрын
I don't understand how parents can hurt and ignore their own child. It is not normal.. i feel betrayed by my immediate family, my dad is a spy for my ex. It really sucks, i trysted him. Im going through a very high conflict custody battle with my ex husband Dennis. I was already.
@SupremeAtheist
@SupremeAtheist Жыл бұрын
The problem is the enablers forcing contacts
@nataliatorkhova8793
@nataliatorkhova8793 2 жыл бұрын
Impossible to be happy even when you are not dependent on their smearing. This is not happiness. You gotta go on day if you want to save you soul.
@shipratrika2586
@shipratrika2586 2 жыл бұрын
You said “they didn’t know that why I was upset with them” at the 11:50 mark. They know they are being disrespectful, they know what they are doing..so how come they didn’t know why you were upset??
@kellyhummingbird
@kellyhummingbird 2 жыл бұрын
❤️
@alisonmorris4444
@alisonmorris4444 2 жыл бұрын
👌
@jackieharb7111
@jackieharb7111 2 жыл бұрын
I need help My sister-in-law is narcissist she has a lot of flying Monkeys and because I choose not to follow her…. She has manipulated most people I love and hardest of all is my kids. My son 30 and girl 25. They spend Mother’s Day with her, all holidays with her. I’m innocent and she’s a mastermind manipulation. Recently I wanted to go away for 3 days with my girlfriend… I was attacked and abused by my son and said he will disown me if I go. I’m tired of being accused abused, it’s emotionally draining. They hate it when I’m happy or do anything that makes me happy even when I take care of myself and look good, I get abused Lately I’ve locked myself in my room and stay in bed and cry. I cannot be myself around them I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired
@ProfessorMTeaches
@ProfessorMTeaches 2 жыл бұрын
💗👍
@romanastrasheim5226
@romanastrasheim5226 2 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry to say, .. but no thank you. There is no love.
@hadizabagudu
@hadizabagudu 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for not advocating for complete cutoff of family.
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