how to be who you REALLY want to be. |

[@Chew81]

Oh. I don't know why the KZbin algorithm led me to this video, but at first glance I thought it would be about a long married couple reminiscing about where they first met, etc. Instead it was about that Daily Ketchup bloke who has been married for only about 6 years. Chey. Wait till you are married for at least 30 or 40 years. This is early days my friend. God forbid but anything can happen. When so many 'celebrity' couples get divorced, I am just jaded in regard to these sort of stories. My generation is making a mockery of marriage if you ask me.

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Maybe. Or maybe we stay in love and marriage until we die. And 30 years from now we get to look back at these videos of our “young” love and be glad we have something to look back on when one of us is no longer around. Maybe a young person watches this and it reminds them that there is love and hope in this world. Maybe we’ll update the video in 30 years then hopefully we won’t offend you. Until then, we wish you well. May you find joy wherever you go. - john and pat

[@Peacelily22]

@@JOHNPATCROSSgood positive thinking ❤ stay in the present and appreciate what you have. No point looking at others and being afraid of what may or may not happen. Also could u do a story on how pat and your friends “bullied” u? 😂

[@crehmenti]

Having watched the video, I think the title quite clearly states what it is about - changing for better - and since they have been together since those days, it's inevitable to mention their relationship. For me, I think it's helpful, in navigating life and stuff. Don't think the couple is claiming to be an authority in this aspect either, and it's not fair to pin said disappointment from increased prolific divorces on everyone else talking about their journey. For what it's worth, John seems quite mature from the things he says and the way he says it on TDK - quite consistently - so while nobody can guarantee anything, I think he is quite different from those that might fall in the category mentioned.

[@lackadaisicalllama]

The point of the video isn’t even about their marriage..? Did you watch the video lol

[@FFFF00-z3l]

and what's wrong with that? something kind of says that you've been hurt some time in your life whether through your own relationship or someone else's. I hope things get better for you so that you don't have to be upset about someone else celebrating a 6 year relationship and you can happy to celebrate your own.

[@zhenrongliang8862]

Thanks Jon & Pat for teaching me “why work so hard if you only have my left over time”. It hit me hard😭

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Life is temporary. We do our best and always be happy k! - Pat

[@jernicewong3264]

Thanks for sharing this kind of raw and transparent content showing the true unfiltered versions of yourselves. So relatable with what you’ve gone through and experienced. ❤

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Thank you for watching! ❤️ - Pat

[@thestaringenclave]

i enjoy these reflective moments. In fact, being reflective is one very important trait to have.

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

We do too! Helps us learn and grow. - Pat

[@Jay-ru2cw]

I absolutely love this reflective type of videos as it shows your thought processes. Most importantly the lessons shared in this video are valuable. Looking forward to more of such videos. Thanks for remembering the purpose of this channel.

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

More to share! Thanks for watching. 🙏🏼 - Pat

[@Rukawasendoh117]

Loved the format, and use of the old photos and fonts adding to the nostalgic tone. For a p5-p6 student, John already so introspective, and the ability to recall is impressive. Haha the open door for girls part brings back flashbacks, just a seemingly minor act of decency could result in you gettin ka chao by others. Then you start second-guessing and becoming hyper-aware of what might come across as something that might attract unwanted attention, when you were just simply being decent to begin with. The "being part of the boys" part also important, how you navigate between how you are are with the boys and how you are with the women in your life, whilst trying to walk the line and keep hypocrisy to a minimum is a road that I think most guys will undertake in their lifetime. Esp. when you're young and want that acceptance (often time because of the consequences of not being accepted) ,but feel like sometimes you have to cross lines to obtain it. Then when it comes time for you to put your best foot forward, those compromises can come back to haunt you. Although I do think to a certain degree, those with religious upbringing tend to have more of a disposition to care about the perceived lack of hypocrisy be it from others and more importantly yourself. Lol I'm a bit like Pat 比较计较 about money, but over the years, have learnt to be less calculative. Nice to see the variety in format, always enjoy seeing whatever you guys upload.

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Thank you for your support. No joy having all that money but no one to share it with. Really 看开了. But only to people who deserves you sharing with also luh. - Pat

[@jiajun7545]

yo im new to this channel, first time watching ur vids, and just wanna say its awesome. the nuggets of wisdom and insights are really profound, u communicated it rly well and clearly and it really made me think about issues ive never thought about 'i cannot claim to work hard for you but you only get my leftover time' this has so much wisdom that one whole episode can be done on it.. and thats just one of it oh gosh ur videos are gonna be part of my nightly reflection time

[@redwings1974]

It’s hard to to forget these memories. School days were the best days. How buddies and besties were formed. Times when have to have tea with the Principal… detentions, supportive teachers and friends… if can turn back time, would love to relive it again and make a better me.

[@thedamnhappygurl]

Standing at a crossroad in my career right now. Really needed that, thanks Jon & Pat! ❤

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

🥹 I wish you the best in any decision you make. Thanks for watching. ❤️ - Pat

[@janeloh6064]

Thank you for sharing your reflective moments, good to remember what TRULY matters in our lives, live purposefully.

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

And happily! Thank you for watching! :) - Pat

[@leoproton]

Thanks Jon & Pat, I've also had issues spending money, be it being territorial with money and all. Hearing what you said about "Saving that 1/2 dollars won't make you rich" truly puts it into perspective. Please do more of these!

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

It took me very long to finally let loose of my purse. Hahah. At everyone’s own pace. ❤️ - Pat

[@angbao465]

what a breath of fresh air! it is insightful and perceptive. What a wonderful thought-experiment. It would have been more narrow minded to think of this as “how to build confidence”. But your title is a much better description, and your explaining the how is really the breath of fresh air!

[@chickennutpie]

Loved this!! Thank you for taking the time to form your thoughts on this and share this. This new format is great too!

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Yay thank you! 🙏🏼 - Pat

[@dorothyleom5598]

I absolutely loved this video. I just got a new job and starting to aim to build a new community around me and the egg theory really helped me visualize and understand my feelings. I had a lot of guilt deciding to stray away from my current friend group, not because they were awful to me but sometimes the “jokes” ultimately feels like setbacks for me. Thanks for this!

[@themrgumbatron]

love the new format and great episode!

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Yayyy thank you for watching! - Pat

[@elizabethchin5463]

I think this might be my fav vlog from you guys! It’s really well articulated leh, especially on being the amalgamation of other people’s traits & money talk :)

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Awwww 🥹 Thank you for your support. ❤ - Pat

[@Sam-ey6jt]

You guys are literally my second "parents" who teach me the treasure of relationships ❤❤❤ Even though I am in a happy relationship, I will always try to treasure my partner just like how you guys treasure each other ❤

[@_cherylkim]

Hey guys, this video came at the right time for me. Thank you for sharing your egg shell theory! I’m changing a new career path now and I am so looking forward to it. Thank you & I’ll be the rock hahah!!! Love ya ❤

[@iamjanzen_]

just what i needed right now. 🥹 also, the different angles are cute!!! ✨

[@Squertol]

wa.. loving the new format.

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Thank you!!

[@5canwalk]

Love the chemistry, memory and walkaround 🎉❤

[@lonerangerz]

vlog after vlog..i find myself more n more hooked, wanting to watch another vid n another keep up the good work 💪🏻

[@fluffers3793]

i thought i’ll never like the content of this video. but john and pat, it’s amazing..

[@kylieng4617]

I love this style so much! When i first started watching john on othrt channels was becos i tot he was funny but i am so glad to see the the side of him that is so nurturing,thoughtful and wise and this whole video i kept asking myself who do i want to be like and i realise i would want to adopt traits of anf John and Pat thank you for being the internet parents ❤❤

[@Mandyhar]

Been watching most of your videos but subscribed (finally) because of this video! Haha love the reflection, doesn’t have to resonate w everyone but it resonated w me. I used to be calculative too but I feel like my husband grounds me. (He is Malay, coincidentally like your story that you shared which I also somewhat agree that they are able to laugh at themselves) More of such content pls!

[@flovesprinkles]

Very candid reflections! Do more of such sharings :-) BE in the moment! Thank you ^-^

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Yay thank you! - Pat

[@Magoz2110]

Love the insights that you have given, its really the little things in life that matter!

[@Ophius]

Love this new style! Both of you are relationship veterans so I always felt that you guys have a lot to share even if I'm not that much younger than you guys. Have a balance of both styles of video! I think the risk of having all your content being like this is that you'll run out of things to reflect on, or you'll come off as toxic introspective (if that makes sense), and of course this probably takes much more planning than something that is more casual on the couch.

[@z.zaimie1406]

Super love this episode. Very inspiring lah u guys..thank u for being vulnerable to share with ur viewers❤

[@peiyinglin2070]

go for it!! love these kind of reflection vids❤

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

We go!! Thank you! 🙏🏼 - Pat

[@ammo_conscious]

I am for this reflective approach to your vlogs because I have always noticed Jon Chua in TDK offers refreshing and thought-provoking ideas or counter arguments. Would have loved to meet you in real life for chats about lifestyles or personal philosophies, or even worked with you on certain podcast projects. Till that fateful day, get busy living

[@blurberryism]

Wah I don't know where to start. I dig this whole reflective type video and appreciate that you summarized this whole theory into "egg shell theory". Makes it easier to understand and remember

[@mrstrawberry2628]

May all your wishes come true in your heart feeling soul and may all your small and big success in your own world

[@daryllim9777]

Love the content of this video! Its refreshing and also make us think deeper

[@gerardtx291]

My life motto: Fake it till you make it 😂 Really love you guys! more videos please!

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

We love you too! Thanks for watching! - Pat

[@HeyHammy]

Love the reflective episode. Being who you really are is not only for yourself. But it is ESSENTIAL to make the people around us really respect and love us the way we are. That aside, what camera are you guys using? It literally makes under the block look super good still my god

[@jungwoosDOG]

loving this new format! ❤

[@iamelijahvawgora]

This actually is super useful. Thanks man. I gonna start implementing your theory!

[@iamelijahvawgora]

Please do more of this type. I think alof of the comments also agree lolllllllllllllllllll 🤑🤭🤗🥰🥰😝🤔🤔

[@limjinwei6859]

love it! very genuine!

[@vhalia]

reflections put your life in perspective. it's a good vlog

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Aww thank you for watching! :) - Pat

[@FriendlyPasserby13]

really really like this style! reflective vibes

[@TTZ41818]

Thanks for sharing this! Like this format :)

[@Ben-kh2rh]

love these videos!!! more!

[@JamesSmith-us4em]

Great insights, thanks for sharing!

[@yunfengyip7143]

haha i like this format =) maybe not all the time lah XD but i would like to say that when John talked about the being bullied period of his life, it made me recall the episode on TDK with Jerald where i felt that John was completely gaslighting this poor soul when he was bullied during that fragile period of his life. but now i understand. happy that you came out of that stronger =)

[@moviepost-mortem0620]

Great sharing, love you two!!

[@staph8022]

if my next relationship is not like john&pat i dont want it...

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Awwwwwww! Thank you for the support!

[@tangzhiyew2234]

Very insightful content!

[@euricari3]

This was such a nice video/vlog •ᴗ• really just felt like I was sitting down with my older sis/bro for a nice chat

[@crystaltan7947]

great episode, very insightful!!

[@32-thirtytwo]

Didn't expect this learning moment

[@zidoka789]

Excellent video and a wonderful new format! I didn't click on anything else for the whole 16mins. Please stick to this!

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

Yay thank you! We will do our best!! - Pat

[@yongsheng113]

i have this too, but i don know how to change

[@junotan5912]

love your content!

[@SouLxOrigin]

Can write book liao 😂 Thanks for sharing ur experiences

[@JOHNPATCROSS]

I think when John’s 50, I’ll push him to write 😂 - Pat

[@JKNana]

Make more videos like this!! It's good!

[@manyue2003]

This is so Singaporean. Reflections also must use powerpoint :)

[@polobuncharsiew]

this vlog makes me cry

[@nataliegoh5838]

i love it！！！！！！！

[@glitterst]

I like it.

[@InSaNeDoT]

Is this also reassurance/opposite for Imposter Syndrome?

[@beno94]

For a moment I thought, "what DHL theory?"

[@benwong2061]

Algooooooooooooooooooo

[@carisachoy6527]

Hi damaiana juniors! Not sure if patrina still rmbs me.. oh how much i miss damai sec sch

[@eugenetan6589]

If a person wayang everyday for the rest of his life. Is he really wayang?

[@Paradian]

Nowadays society is like that boy who takes it seriously and cries.

[@wongjon2009]

Been loving all the other episodes but this particular one feels a little naggy. Feels like I was attending a cell group 😮‍💨

[@waihwangtan1662]

So cheem. Hahaha. But good video.

[@romanmohapatra883]

I love my gf charlotte

[@marcang4403]

To be honest, a bit lecturer-ry and boring.. 😅 but still interesting.. maybe too much talking🤪 Waiting for your next video! 👍🏻

[@eeto_plays]

[@dsignerer]

Got leh! i 内向 from P1 to P6, then when finally go to Sec1 I tell myself i want to be totally who i want to be, and I try very hard, still feel awkward. until finally Sec 3 change school then i become version 2 of me

[@juliantanyz]

Thanks both for really sharing your insights, as a young working adult myself i could really relate to everything said. 🥹 Besides, the ‘egg shell’ theory is pretty similar to a book i recently read - Atomic Habits. Do give it a read and i’m sure you’ll be able to relate to the whole concept of filling the shoes of who you wish to be! :)