How To Become a DREAM GIRL Instead Of A Placeholder.

[@hanako]

I kind of want to be my own dream girl

[@Its_ririiii]

this should be the main goal honey

[@ThuNguyen-cy5ei]

same 😂

[@stacey6229]

ENERGYYYY

[@LynseyDiane]

I absolutely was just going to write that very sentiment…. ‘HIS’ dream girl….not a chance…. How about we stop turning ourselves into pretzels for others….Whilst there is always a need for compromise, give and take, and sacrifice for our partner, ‘HIS’ ‘DREAM GIRL’ really? Being ourselves is always ENOUGH!

[@liquidodds]

❤

[@jac_marie]

My man told me, “I know that if I broke up with you, you wouldn’t chase me” and I loved hearing that sh*t. Haha! He treats me like a queen and makes me feel cherished because I keep him on his toes. It has sadly taken me two divorces and two years of deep transformative healing after my last divorce to get to a place of knowing my value and trusting that what’s meant for me will stay with me. Never chasing a man again. *meow 😽🖤

[@keylo2473]

Thank u! I need to hear it now❤

[@jac_marie]

@@keylo2473 Of course! Wishing you the best on your journey.🥹💛

[@alyailithyia]

Can you plz give some examples of how you "keep him on his toes"? I'm curious what that looks like especially in an LTR and you don't play games like hot and cold. Thanks

[@jac_marie]

@@alyailithyia Yes, of course! For me, as someone who had to heal codependent and anxious attachment traits, it’s doing daily check-ins with myself to make sure that I’m giving from a place to express my gratitude for what I’ve already received from my man. Not “giving to get”, which is masculine. I also allow plenty of space to be present in the relationship so he actually has room to come towards me & miss me. Rather than seeing it as “chasing me”, I think a healthier way of looking at it is to notice if he’s “leaning into” and “investing” in the relationship and in those rare occasions where he’s not (usually because of work stress or just needing some man cave time) then I lean back and meet my needs elsewhere by leaning on my friends, passions and hobbies to fulfill me. Usually it’s never more than 48 hours before he’s telling me how much he misses me and wants to spend quality time. I could go on… but, then maybe I’d need to start my own channel. Haha!

[@jac_marie]

@@alyailithyia Yes, of course! For me, as someone who had to heal codependent and anxious attachment traits, it’s doing daily check-ins with myself to make sure that I’m giving from a place to express my gratitude for what I’ve already received from my man. Not “giving to get”, which is masculine. I also allow plenty of space to be present in the relationship so he actually has room to come towards me & miss me. Rather than seeing it as “chasing me”, I think a healthier way of looking at it is to notice if he’s “leaning into” and “investing” in the relationship and in those rare occasions where he’s not (usually because of work stress or just needing some man cave time) then I lean back and meet my needs elsewhere by leaning on my friends, passions and hobbies to fulfill me. Usually it’s never more than 48 hours before he’s telling me how much he misses me and wants to spend quality time. I could go on… but, then maybe I’d need to start my own channel. Haha!

[@lynnbausch7639]

“Struggle love is not for you…..Choose a man who chooses you.” A reminder from Mother that I needed to hear! 💗🙌🏻

[@bosankacanada456]

And the fathers say to son(s), choose the woman who chooses you 😄

[@laneaspen7535]

And not just a man that chooses you. A man that knows how to KEEP you. Bc plenty of men will be excited about you and obsessed and have no idea how to keep you bc they lack self awareness and emotional intelligence.

[@ShopgirlNY182]

emotional independence, detachment and becoming obsessed with myself have been key to becoming her since my breakup. I feel so much better just focusing on myself.

[@SR77736]

Just went through some break ups and I wsnt to be single and focus on me. Kinda in the same boat you are.

[@ShopgirlNY182]

@@SR77736 pouring all that love I used to give to others back into myself is a game changer! You got this!!

[@hayaashraf3404]

1- be authentic, independent. Don't imitate. Mask dropped 2- don't say everything has ur independence thoughts and feelings No one wants to listen they just want to speak. Don't make him chase you if he wants HE wants 3- Actions speak louder than words 4- discuss ur desire and need clearly

[@Mrs90417]

I am the married placeholder with 2.4 kids. Listen to this woman's words 👏🏼

[@char6081]

how do u know ur the place holder? and r yall divorcing?

[@Madalina1098]

I have noticed that many men marry their dream girl and once she encounters some issues: depression, anxiety, post partum depression, the guy wants to leave.

[@lou15176]

This comment is very “real life” I agree with you on this. Some won’t like this truth ❤ x

[@MS-ns4ki]

Hbd

[@Exotixa]

He needs to be the dream man too

[@kokolatte825]

Really? I feel the average man doesn't even have access to his "dream girl".

[@lou15176]

@@kokolatte825 great point! He would have to be above average if he is going to pursue his “dream girl” it works both ways x

[@Beingher2004]

Personal notes: 1) Be 100% authentic. It'll attract the right man FOR YOU. 2) Emotional independence and detachment; have your own life going on, your own thoughts, hobbies, etc 3) Discuss your wants and needs clearly; they won't know what you want if you dont tell them, basically make them a manual on how to make you happy. 4) Support him as his woman, not as his mom; dont do 50/50. Rather, encourage him to do better. 5) Invest in yourself 6) Create a deep emotional bond. 7) Be confident in yourself; dont constantly ask if he loves you 8) Have the willingness to walk away, no need to announce it. Just have it, and they'll sense it. 9) Hot and cold behavior to create desire. 10) Don't drive the entire relationship

[@MisSaLiMaRi3]

Everything you just said about invest in yourself instead of investing in him which makes you more attractive by default is exactly the affirmation i needed to hear. I can still focus on being a good partner but until he marries me, I’m focused on moving into my own place, advancing my career as I’m already doing, self care and my own hobbies

[@patriciaselma3898]

Okay but that scared me when you said “nobody forced you Patricia” it’s a sign

[@sammuis01]

😂😂😂😂

[@PetitHibou72]

💜

[@mzlinna3683]

😂😂😂

[@zzz36999]

😸😸😸

[@vardaelentari8907]

🤣🤣🤣

[@bordosense]

I loved the pigeon analogy😁. When I think I'm gonna swoop in like a graceful swan and help, I have to make sure that I am not just a pigeon desperate for crumbs.

[@danilaroche1156]

I never thought it fun to chase a man & yes I had unhealed father wounds & pain.. God healed that. Glad to hear you talking about God. I love & pray for you.

[@trachbeba3488]

Gather around my sweet summer children MOTHER HAS ARRIVED

[@tuberoses1]

Zip it and write it in a diary 😂😂😂

[@HealthHappyLife]

Such powerful advice! Becoming your true self, setting boundaries, and embracing your independence are the keys to attracting the right person. Love the emphasis on being pursued, not chasing after love. We all deserve to be the dream girl, not a placeholder. 💖

[@REINVENTION_7]

Be your own dream girl! Be everything you ever wanted to be, earn your own respect and admiration ❤❤❤

[@SaturatedInLoveTarot]

Then the men will chase❣️🥰

[@aaliyah.parrilla]

That blue color compliments you Margarita! You are looking fabulous as always ❤

[@sahmoo]

I need to feel the power I know I have within me

[@hayaashraf3404]

Believe it

[@alevsozer7924]

Feeling is the secret

[@sahmoo]

@@hayaashraf3404 fake it til you make it

[@deuteriumtritium9700]

You got this! I just did LOL though because your profile picture made me hear that in Dwight's Voice 😂😂😂

[@sahmoo]

@@deuteriumtritium9700 hahhaa i'm glad 😂😂 but remember that identity theft is not a joke. millions of families suffer every year

[@TheEmpoweredMom]

You are EVERYTHING I didn’t know I needed during this separation I’m going through with my husband. Like I don’t even know how to thank you. The knowledge, the attitude, the humor. You are getting me through this. 💜

[@tiffabboston2780]

thank god mother uploaded

[@Jay-op9is]

I am 47. Hopeful i can get it right next time. Was married to guy who was abusive, don't wanna make the same mistake again. Thank you ❤

[@Brynnmarieblack]

Seriously love your content SO much! You keep me laughing while also having a serious attitude and reminding me of how to be a black cat in a marriage of 7 years. God bless you!

[@LadyMermaid]

You have no idea how much I needed to see this video right now

[@Shanieceflordi]

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

[@JessicaAnotii]

It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@JessicaAnotii]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@JessicaAnotii]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@userNOTfound1-3]

The edge in the tone of this video is everything ❤ Thank you for the tough love mama.

[@tiffanyfilan]

Your video popped up on my youtube out of nowhere, and I absolutely fell in love with your content. You're so funny, which makes all your motivational videos enjoyable to watch. Thank you so much! This totally made my day hahaha

[@oleaamme]

omg, the moment you said "Patricia, nobody forced you" hit me the best because my name is Patricia. Thank you so much!

[@17kdad]

he says i’m perfect and he’s always praising me , he talks about weddings and stuff with me and is always professing his love lol. this lady gives the same advice my mom does listen to her! it works!

[@Meowsmeows9292]

You hurt my feelings in all the right ways. Speaking facts!!! Thank you. I love the tough love approach. You have helped snap me into place when I need it. Grateful videos like yours exist.

[@char6081]

you’re really my role model 🩷 love u aunty margarita

[@arose7514]

South Africa has decided to skip spring and go into summer too ! It’s lovely

[@Jakilyn]

I was just pondering this dilemma yesterday. I want to be someone's dream girl and I can't settle for less. I'm through with being pursued by mediocre men with lazy intentions

[@TheRoseyKay]

I absolutely adore your videos. I think they are honestly life-changing for women and how we see ourselves. Keep up the amazing work.

[@themercedesexperiment]

Needed this today 😢 thank you. I almost forgot about my feminine energy that I worked so hard to embrace in this new “relationship” of mines.

[@talkativeacademy4528]

OMG Margarita, I am the placeholder! And I never realized!!! Aaaah!

[@mp7140]

I need this honesty today!

[@sweetlyevil187]

Thank you for the reminder 🙏🏼 I needed this video today, I had something that was starting to get out of control and I could tell but wasn’t sure if I was overthinking

[@Pray.Patience.Gratitude]

I could listen to you for hours, love your energy

[@JW-mg1sk]

Your vibe, timing, comedic wisdom is EVERYTHING I need right now ❤❤❤

[@hannacolita4616]

You’re my role model! 💕

[@RajinMarak-no6wc]

Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone

[@krumplethemal8831]

She can fake everything until she hooks him but as soon as her actual self is revealed he's no longer going to want her if she's normally combative, disrespectful and unappreciative.. "Water always finds its level."

[@msc1054]

I don’t think you understand how funny you are Margarita 😂😂 You drop gems though ❤️

[@van_y]

Thats so tough. Ive always had a "black cat energy" but after long term relationship, when it end im behaving like a chaser. I know I will eventually go back to my real self, but for now im making so many mistakes when meeting new people, like I forgot my true desires and personality. L O L

[@lolitagece]

You're literally a next level spiritual teacher for me who's just learning to embrace my feminine energy thank you so much ❤definitely will be signing up for a course

[@MarieFelton]

You are like a big sister and raise me up. Thank you for this video

[@suehinkson355]

"Boo boo kitty" Love it! I tell my husband what I want and he still gets it wrong. I would love for you to also talk about what to do after being married for a long while. None of this helps me now. My husband is too lost in life and I'm just another stress too support. So my lovely feminine energy is always drawing others towards me which is hard because I want the attention from my husband. At this point he drinks to deal and is a shell of himself.

[@johannakunze3300]

Addiction is a valid reason to leave.

[@jac_marie]

“Codependent No More” was a life changing read for me. Highly recommend for this dilemma.

[@danilaroche1156]

​If he won't get any help, he's abandoned himself & you. It will only get worse. I'd think about leaving.

[@niqsworld9713]

I would try changing your mindset about your husband and talk differently about the situation. I mean this lady advice is great but your thoughts, beliefs and your mindset creates your reality an the experiences you experiences with the people around you. The core issue is not your husband is that the core issue is that he not putting you as a priority. Have you downplayed your goals and aspirations regarding putting yourself as less of a priority? Ask yourself those questions

[@mika_selflove6724]

Amen!!!!! I was the dedicated wife who worked full time, brought the most of the money, I took care of my daughter and he always put me in the placeholder for years… His mother raised him like a little prince and I was always thinking I had to take care of him so my mother in law accepted me.. but after years I understood that she will always find defects on me and he will always be weak if I am a golden retriever. I am a black cat energy for the last month and I this man is in my feet!! I don’t need him anymore but he is still around because he is chasing me all the time! And honestly I don’t know if I will continue with him but it is fascinating how basic men are

[@EvieSaintAnn]

Your videos are absolute GOLD. Thank you 🙏.

[@Cozyartcafe]

One of the best reasons not to be a cool girl, placeholder girl, aim to please girl is to repel narcissists. Women need to realize that the placeholder's desperate need for love and validation is the very energy that predatory men can sense even before you speak.

[@Alexiss8974]

Great advice, something I would’ve appreciated to hear when I was younger but still, I think this applies in the many phases of my life.

[@boro7272]

You are my spirit animal! Love this content! It’s not the year of the dragon in 2025 but year of the dream girl. ❤

[@ThuNguyen-cy5ei]

I love your shirt here!! Blue fits you sooo well 💙

[@janellee_]

YES my first thought. This blue looks incredible on her! 💙

[@rashibharade8195]

margarita please make a video on how to make a strong emotional bond? !!

[@hollyonorato6]

This landed at the perfect time for me! Thank you, goddess 😘

[@kendradamm1428]

Ahhhhh….summer in Australia….stay cool!!! ❤

[@AngelaJeanChat]

Love this…golden advice.

[@foongbooey]

I'm here for the Margarita idioms!! They are 💥 and I'll be dropping them too haha

[@aditithakur1]

It’s the first time that I am watching a video on repeat! Wow! How nice is this ! ❤

[@LittlecatJ]

I love your content as always. I was struggling alot in my previous experience with lets say Brad. He wanted to take mortgage with me, he suggested mortgage before saying I love you or even sharing any interest in my life. I knew smth was off, also I remember he told me his ex was useless 😅😅 alot of red flags, I am proud of myself I found my balls to end this 💪

[@DJWNB]

I love your style ! You are soooo funny …let’s let go of struggle life..and your voice is so soothing

[@ĐoànPhươngHường]

this format really suits me

[@juli.samsonova-operaclass]

Sooo needed to hear this! Thank you!!!❤

[@char8691]

Wise words girl ..🙏🏻❤️

[@TheMscarshena]

Just ordered your book!!! ❤❤❤

[@tuhafenimilayne]

This video confirmed to me what I deep down already knew. I am a dream girl ahaha. Margarita you literally described my mindset and beliefs.

[@organicrebecca2314]

I so appreciate your straightforward advice!! Thank you!!! 🙏👏💖

[@sunshineonmyshouldersmakes8331]

Fall here 🥰 Always happy to see your videos 🎉

[@RedHairedRiot]

“Like the pigeon that I am” brother no one can wake me up inside like you - not even evanescence…. Like how am I laughing at myself after being called a rat with wings

[@RasydaOthman]

oh gosh i really love you and there is always something new to learn!!

[@ggv0088]

Seems like you are directly talking to me. Thank you for this.

[@deysig26]

I sent this to my sister who's been a placeholder for 10 years now

[@sofiaekholm1140]

I love u. This is the best timing when needed the most!

[@n0tfr0mth1sw0rld]

Thanks for all the effort you put into these videos ❤ I binge watched them since i found you a couple months back when i met a guy which made me feel insecure and not valued. Your videos helped me build up my confidence and i felt great lately 💪 Started talking to another guy, which i seemed to get along great and just before we could agree on a date to meet up, he self sabotaged and i feel not only turned off but heartbroken. I don't understand why someone i didn't even met yet, can make me feel so awful 😔. It kinda destroyed my day and i went from a high into a hole. My stomach aches and im just wondering, how can i be open for love but also protect myself to not get hurt and disencouraged by one individual. This experience on top of all the others really put me off even trying again 😢

[@LyraMeldy]

Im obsessed with your channel, it has helpes me immensly, I really feel the authenticity and am very gratefu. I ve started mimicing you with the hand movements hah ok not funny its ared flag. Anyway truly appreaciate the work, the inspiration and wisdom, the seamless sponsorship inserts and ads. Please dont stop

[@Dianasanimeflix]

Mashalah, you are amazing! New fav youtube channel!

[@mica7153]

Yay The Queen is here👑

[@mayabedoinstuff]

"fruity, juicy, delicious & nutritious", "stop, hammer time" 😂😂😂😂 i love some humor amongst wisdom.

[@fitandmoody1012]

You literally changed my life in the most positive way. Thank you so much!!! When does your book come out and where can I buy it????

[@sffrg]

theres this man, im his dream girl. hes made it clear now for like 6 years. and he is almost my dream guy. i know he would take care of me and make me happy. but he has a child already.. and i don’t know if i want my own kids- let alone be a stepmom! i dont know what to do and ive been internally battling whether to be with him or not for the past two years

[@20MinutesCZ]

you are somethin else :D. love it. youre funny and witty. thanks for this video!

[@tif131]

Thank you for your wisdom as always🖤

[@baris2high]

Ok- aside from all that I’m finally learning in my late 40s from you I learned something new today. I had no idea summer and spring were different months in Australia. At first I was like “How was this posted 12 hours ago if it’s summer?”😅😂

[@Dianaod]

These feed my soul! Thank you ❤❤

[@lorrainea.285]

STOP!! Hammertime🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m on the floor😆🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MG-bh5qt]

I love you Margarita. Thank you thank you thank you. I appreciate your teachings so much!

[@aes9639]

Thanks so much for this reminder. Haven't had relationship experience

[@MozhdaSorkhrody]

I love the way U talk lady

[@nkwenkw3zi]

Thank you so much for you videos Margarita 🙏🏽

[@SKINxChina]

If you sneeze at me… I will walk away! 😂😂 Love the video❤

[@katemartinmentor]

Ahhh you are in Australia too ❤🎉

[@charlottewu2998]

Thank you I needed this

[@clarizendaya6274]

I've learned this the hard way. I was the golden retriever from my first marriage. Trying to be the dream girl with this new relationship that im in. I love it whenever i hear him say that im his dream girl and that he wouldnt do anything to let me go, even if i dont want him hahahah. Seems obssessed but it's a good feeling to be loved that way by a man.

[@milyaka]

Love your channel SO much!

[@TheWellKeptLife]

Up in his George Forman got me 😂

[@joannedomingo2398]

I needed to hear this. Thank you ❤

[@cheesydorito6337]

I started focusing on self growth while with my ex-husband realized I wasn’t where I wanted to be . I met this boy at 17 ignored crazy red flags and now Going through a divorce at 23 . always felt like a placeholder. Walked on like a doormat and never his dream girl. I nowww know not to ignore what I feel .You live and you learn I guess My friend is going through the same thing but she just got back together with him. (They arent married but he threatens to sue her bc he thinks they’re common law) Everyone in her family hates him so I want to give her space to figure it out and not just be another nagging voice to her. Don’t know how else to help

[@deeortiz11]

Love this. We already are, I guess that’s the goal. Realising it 🤗💗💗xx

[@colorsofbeing8573]

Thank you!!.. More please!!

[@TheBeautyMage]

This is so good!

[@malena_galvez]

I love your intros... ❤