How To Build Self-Esteem - The Triple Column Technique (CBT)

[@maxwellhouse1989]

‘How to develop self worth? You don’t have to. You just have to challenge the inner critical voice and reframe’ underrated video

[@PureSparkles22]

🙌🙌🙌

[@desireer6915]

For real!

[@MaryelllenAustin]

Exactly! Well put! 🤩

[@violentviolet1404]

Everybody has that internal voice that brings them down, we have to turn that voice into our friend instead of our enemy, sometimes it’s right to question our motives, and if it turns out to be bad judgement on your behalf you must own your mistake and look for a positive lesson, being human can be hard work, forgive yourself if you get it wrong. A therapist once told me to guide myself like a parent would guide a child, he even encouraged me to carry a picture of my childhood self around with me, he told me every time I judge my behaviour or reactions to be wrong, talk to the little kid in the picture to educate them, and remember to give them/you the unconditional love they deserve.

[@andyroyes166]

Love the part about talking to the little kid (our weaker, vulnerable selves) and a photo to focus on that younger self.

[@paytonmaetzig6927]

I love this.

[@violentviolet1404]

@@paytonmaetzig6927 to be honest it works really well, you end up with a lot of compassion for your self, and a lot more empathy and forgiveness for others, I still carry the picture of my 8year old self sitting on Santas knee 🥰

[@mirihase4684]

I will try this! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼

[@luwanabennett1054]

Wise words! Thank you!

[@MarcoSanderCoaching]

The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person who you were yesterday.

[@NN-fz4pd]

No you shouldn’t because people decline after a certain age.

[@Saman0001]

@@NN-fz4pd I agree

[@squancht.v9004]

With love..No, we are not our past, we are only our present self. Good or Bad, comparing yourself to how you used to be will only lead to more issues. (The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person who you are now) . . . keep going and when u fall remember you choose if u wanna pick yourself up or stay down. Fight for yourself worth fight for a happiness in your day, accepting the worst days and taking the punches of the problems u go through. You are now and what matters is now not then or when

[@Queenofwandsb]

Decline? The ability to love or be kind or compassionate declines with age?

[@feralgoat3771]

I got a problem where people say stuff about me that's not true then I start thinking maybe there right I'm weak minded

[@BullyMaguire4ever]

Instead of “talking back” to negative thoughts, in some aggressive way, we can instead speak loving words to ourselves to rewire the brain with positive reinforcement.

[@Samanthax1221]

LB Remember that you are worthy and valuable just as you are. you have unique strengths and talents, and you have the power to overcome any challenges. Everyone makes mistakes and has weaknesses, its important to focus on your own personal growth and development instead of comparing yourself to others. Believe in yourself and have faith in your own abilities. you are loved and supported, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and meaningful life for yourself.

[@Spacetwerp]

Such a simple but apt approach. I've searched endlessly for the off switch to my never-ending internal monologue of coruscating self-criticism.

[@ashetonbiggerstaff5106]

I hit that switch today at work. It’s an amazing feeling when you can show gratitude instead of feeling the need to apologize.

[@tenbroeck1958]

When a psychiatrist told me my anxiety was obviously stemming from my low self-esteem, I felt so defensive. I went home angry, and started reading about self-esteem and realized that he was 100 percent correct. The problem with CBT is that it works so very well that you eventually almost forget that you were suffering and eventually fall back into the habits that caused the self esteem issue to begin with. Thank you so much for making this video, and making it in your awesome accent: it made it more human and compassionate feeling. I get so low sometimes that I see old videos about musicians who killed themselves and it destroys me. I think of friends I've lost and how alone I feel. I don't fit into a political "box" or category and when people tell me I have to chose a "side" it really causes me mental anguish, as I am a Bohemian at heart. I live and am very Liberal minded, but I understand why many people are traditional, and I feel defensive FOR them when Liberal friends attack them. I wish I could make everyone in this world be kinder to one another - for my sake! I guess at heart, I will always be a soft hippie who loves animals and quietness. I feel like an outsider. As a result, I have had on and off drug issues for years. It numbs the pain, for a minute.

[@golemstalkerxoxo1134]

I found it out today. Sometimes on weekends I’d get so anxious just of the thought of doing nothing. Today I finally found out that it’s because I constantly compare myself to others and that it’s in fact my lack of self confidence that has caused all of this

[@JG20204]

@@golemstalkerxoxo1134I’m on the same journey.

[@xntricity6446]

Im am on the same journey, self reflect every day and keep working with the tools to help with your improvement. I wish you all the best.

[@jases34]

Hi Ten. Any good CBT books that you can recomend?

[@catstack_]

Did i write this ?? 🤯

[@andyroyes166]

I have created a three column worksheet with the cognitive distortions briefly described below the columns for reference. Handy, because I do most of these distortions in a big way. I’m glad that by shutting off the critical, negative inner voice, I will have good self esteem. Developing a whole new self esteem from scratch seemed daunting. So this is good! Thanks

[@steveod1]

Self compassion is wiser and more enduring than self esteem 🙏🏻

[@anderskedegard6799]

That is cognitive distortion! 😁 Your statement may be correct. I do not know... An analogy of your statement: it would be better to have... $1,000 (self compassion)... than $1 (self-esteem)... But that $1 is SOMETHING isn't it? Better having $1 than $0...!

[@profet1385]

I fail to see how this is useful...

[@UnexpectedAmy]

​@@profet1385Self-esteem is based upon succeeding in feeling the way you want, self-compassion is being kind to yourself regardless of how you feel :)

[@On_hunt]

@@UnexpectedAmy yup 😁 that is good thing

[@beingdeeply]

Hey you. Stop scrolling for a moment. Put your hand over your heart. Take some deep breaths. Feel that beat? What you feel is the is a beat of purpose. Feeling better? It was a tough day but you made it through, tomorrow will be anew. Keep moving forward, blessings are on their way! Blessing from a life advancement KZbinr!

[@EduardoFlores-yn9ki]

God bless you

[@BestMomEver888]

Thank you❤

[@salimgandapur6707]

Bravo!

[@sistergrace9833]

Today I will practice self-care by making decisions based on what serves feeds and nurture my spirit I will stop apologizing For rejecting negative energies That deplete my spirit I alone am responsible for my happiness  with this acknowledgment I forfeit victimhood while embracing freedom It is only when we let go of that which dulls our inner light that we are able to connect With our dreams Anything less is embezzlement of our own soul self pillaging an infraction upon your own destiny Sister Grace 

[@MaryelllenAustin]

Love how you point to the thoughts we have that should be looked at & their validity & that’s what is causing the bad beliefs that we create. Most importantly that if we alter those, there’s a direct connection to our self esteem! Thanks for the great explanation & lesson on how to do this! 😘

[@brnsnaribm1371]

Many years I suffered, lots of videos about many things, but this one is the one I was searching for and needed. Lost these techniques a long time ago, now I feel already cured.

[@itshazelhoff]

I have my own version of the three column practise. Hence, when I saw it on here, I felt quite proud of myself. I've been doing things right all along, but it will take time until it becomes second-nature

[@donnycfd]

This is one of my favorite KZbin videos. You breakdown this concept so well. Thank you.

[@MadBadAmerican]

Something that helped me silence the inner critic was listening to motivational speakers like Eric Thomas and Les Brown (lots of videos on YT). I listened to them multiple times a day, when I woke up or before bed etc. So, I essentially brainwashed myself. However, what I heard in those videos eventually helped my thinking and quieted my inner critic. Hope this helps.

[@blakelycreative3171]

Learning to disconnect the loop of negativity took some time to understand but it changed my life's course.

[@serracengiz86]

Finally a video that actually offers a solution Thank you so much

[@rigelr5345]

Just a tip for others with this problem: I couldn't see the cognitive distortions myself, so I asked Chat GPT, and it was actually so helpful. It used all of those mentioned in the video.

[@EatStylePlay86]

Thank you for making this. I'm working on this inner voice, because it's ruining my life.

[@PureAcousticProducts]

These videos are awesome. I recognise at least 6 distortions that I actively do. I made a word document with everything you said so I can go back and find the correct matching distortion, did the 3 columns for the first time, labelled them and then gave solid self defence to it. Going to do this for a while in hopes it helps me feel better in my own skin :)

[@simpleguy1981]

Good tool for all of us who are looking to change our self talk. Will try as it seems simple and I think more real and practice instead of being perfect. Thanks for your good work.

[@amesystbutterfly9371]

Thank you, this gives me hope and direction and I really need it, your work is very much appreciated here

[@V-Bug]

I used the column techniques myself and find them helpful

[@krash6951]

Havent seen girls that look like u in years

[@ari_jean]

@@krash6951 😂

[@krash6951]

@@ari_jean real talk tho lol

[@bdml77]

​@krash6951 what tf are you talking about

[@MarcoSanderCoaching]

We are human-beings, not human doings. You don't need to do anything to be worthy.

[@Anya-m6g]

👍👍

[@rayofhope516]

This hits very hard,thank you so much, really needed to read this

[@robmacleod9225]

This was very well laid out and incredibly helpful. Thank you.

[@_b-e-n_]

Just want to say how much of a fan I am of the way you pronounce "column". Always loved Irish accents!

[@patriciacadogan2335]

I am glad that I listened to the content in this video. You really hit the bullseye as it relates to me.

[@WorkwithChrist2239]

Thanks. I will use this video in my own life and in my children's life.

[@joycejeong-x4b]

Learning about the importance of self-reflection and taking time for oneself resonated deeply with me. Allocating meaningful time for self-discovery and growth has been an essential part of boosting my self-esteem.

[@shollarose7158]

Thank you very much. This has been really helpful as I am going through a journey of emotional healing. God bless you.

[@River_Nathuoriel]

Thank you for this. My psychotherapist said they don't see me doing cognitive therapy for some reason but this was very helpful. Thank you.

[@ZTRCTGuy]

The problem with this thing is the third column. If you were able to mentally defend yourself against these thoughts you wouldn't have low self esteem to begin with. the problem is that you cannot come up with a defense because you believe the cognitive distortions to be true. Wether they're actually true doesn't matter in this case. That's why I've found this technique to be thoroughly ineffective at least with myself. I'm a logical person, I can very well rationalize the cognitive ''distortions'' with arguments taken from the real world. And this makes solving your low self esteem so difficult.

[@Samanthax1221]

akryloth Remember that you are worthy and valuable just as you are. you have unique strengths and talents, and you have the power to overcome any challenges. Everyone makes mistakes and has weaknesses, its important to focus on your own personal growth and development instead of comparing yourself to others. Believe in yourself and have faith in your own abilities. you are loved and supported, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and meaningful life for yourself.

[@ZTRCTGuy]

@@Samanthax1221 It's not often I get such a nice comment, so thank you for that. I'm having multiple problems with ''you're worthy and valuable just as you are''. What kinda worth and value are we talking about, what does that even mean? It doesn't really say anything. Same counts for ''believe in yourself''. Same vagueness. For the abilities, strengths and talents. Haven't found em. There's nothing I'm particularly good at. Luckily I don't often compare myself to others. There's simply no justification to not have a low self esteem.

[@Samanthax1221]

@@ZTRCTGuy Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. It's important to recognize that everyone has their own unique abilities, strengths, and talents, and it's okay if you haven't discovered yours yet. It's a journey and sometimes it takes time to uncover what we are truly passionate about and what we excel at. As for worth and value, it's important to understand that you are valuable and worthy just because you exist, not because of what you do or what you achieve. You are a unique and special individual, and you should strive to believe in yourself and your own worth, even if you struggle with low self esteem. It's also important to remember that it's okay to have moments of self-doubt and to make mistakes. We all have them. What's important is how we choose to move forward and learn from those experiences. Believe in yourself and your own abilities, and don't be too hard on yourself. You are capable of great things and you have the potential to achieve your goals and dreams.

[@_daki]

Bro same haha, I’m just waiting to be diagnosed with MDD because there’s no other explanation as to why I despise myself so much and I have no energy most of the time

[@williamfoote75]

My therapist taught me this, the first time I met them, and it was huge.

[@anmolsingh4026]

I'm glad I found this video I will try this technique

[@loverdeadly6128]

My therapist taught me to envision my negative self-talk to help me identify it. I identify it as a little alien creature that lives in my head lol.

[@ZenGuitarShred]

Thank you for this video! Extremely concise and useful. The quotes, simple visuals, and your kind voice makes self-help enjoyable! Those symbols for the distortions are extremely handy. Cheers!

[@elenadimitrova8882]

The best strategy of overcoming these fears.

[@daisyduke4640]

Everything I have been looking for 🏆💯 Thanks for this video & Subbed

[@Metaphyical0samak]

I Am Grateful For Mastering CBT

[@dianam.4736]

Excellent video! Concise, clear, informative, practical information.

[@nitishadhikari7967]

my right ear enjoyed the video!

[@Christina-rq3ed]

Hello Christina Dixon here.

[@ellisjackson3355]

"As a man thinketh so is he." I like the talking back to, or challenging of negative beliefs

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Yes “ as a man thinketh so is he” 👍

[@MilkTeaASMR]

As someone interested in studying counseling psychology, this was a very helpful breakdown. thanks!

[@r.g6170]

Hi. I have been suffering from negative thoughts for 16 years now. i want to change myself at least now because i hate being unhappy. can you please tell me a way to start.

[@leighlepatan420]

@@r.g6170 same

[@bubble313]

Underrated video for real! That was well explained and so helpful thank you

[@GustavoSilva-ny8jc]

1:13 You might be those things, if youre sick or being persecuted, and still have self esteem. I think esteem lies in either focusing change or waiting the chance to change or being okay with how you are. I recently saw how our confidence is tied to our idea of others perception of us, we dont see them as flawed and complex like us, just the fact that theyre different makes it ridiculous to try to be the same. We usually respond to others out of instinct and not scientific reason. And we deal with situations like electrocuted dogs.

[@suppernana5110]

Thank you for the skill to try

[@animethics]

Out of the abundance of the mind, the mouth speaks

[@bobbrennan6206]

Enjoyed the video, helps me deal with negative thoughts or events.

[@alleymeowcat]

I'll definitely be implementing this technique

[@LyKan.Apollo]

Thank you for posting this.

[@edipoint7585]

I believe it's a life time process. The only thing we can do is "Not to consider what others think about me?" Live your life to the fullest❤

[@theresadeltoro3725]

Can't wait to use this technique! I've always been my worst critic

[@hayateaxel5380]

How's it going?

[@theresadeltoro3725]

@@hayateaxel5380 good so far

[@hayateaxel5380]

@@theresadeltoro3725 great to hear!

[@BigWave6890]

Thank you, very informative!

[@Christina-rq3ed]

Hello Christina Dixon here,first time watching your videos

[@hossa1017]

excellent video , thanks

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Your thoughts determine your actions 👍

[@insidemyownlittleworld]

ugh, i love this. thank you!

[@RaysRacing1]

Thank you. 15 minutes a day is doable.

[@neonarcade3562]

Thankyou for this good and helpful video. 💜💙💚💛🧡❤💜💙💚💛🧡❤💜💙💚💛🧡❤

[@leysabandal]

Thank you for this. I needed this :(

[@fredh3152]

Please make more videos, this video is amazing!

[@thegamingsaiyan637]

The voice, the critical, arguing voice, pushes me to become better, while telling me im not good enough, and i believe that im not good enough, no one ever is, not me, not you, not that ceo from whatever company, if everyone was good enough, we wouldnt be living right now

[@TheChillDil]

Thanks for revealing the technique. One effective way to build self-esteem is by using the Triple Column Technique in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Write down a negative thought in the first column, challenge it with a rational response in the second column, and write down how you feel after reframing the thought in the third column. Repeat this exercise regularly to retrain your brain to think more positively and build your self-esteem. Remember, you deserve to feel good about yourself and this technique can help you get there!

[@cathlyntelebrico3033]

Great explanations! Thank you. Love you.

[@satinaguo6663]

who else is here

[@satinaguo6663]

i am

[@wisdomofpearls]

I will be using the triple column method

[@alltop2974]

Really appreciate this video! Great strategy for overcoming the negative inner voice.

[@maurreese]

Thank you!!

[@michaellin8353]

This is very helpful, thank you for the summary, and for leading me to Daivd's work.

[@zanelevundla5829]

Just what I needed

[@snehasj6439]

Thank you for this video❤

[@What-v7k]

This helped - thanks you

[@RavenMadd9]

Thank you

[@don6148]

Thank you, appreciate your help

[@tomi.a]

This was a really really good breakdown

[@youtubingbabs]

Best accent and voice ever. ♥️

[@luke-ti3fu]

Thanks man. Great video, beautifully explained. Earned a new sub with this one. Thanks again.

[@multiskype]

my "inner critic" is often my mom's critical attitude towards me that I've internalised with time...

[@bernadettehoward2561]

I’ve always I mean always struggled with my confidence I’m trying to find peace with it in my lifetime and not just when u go😊

[@rachelnorton9394]

Thank you. I'm definitely going to have to give this a try.

[@hamzahal-abadi4867]

That's the spirit 👍

[@maggie4614]

Thank you. This was helpful

[@jibranjawaid]

Hey, great video, you should continue the effort, it will be helpful for so many folks 😊

[@achristianson4059]

I never compare myself… I struggle feeling deserving of a victory, success, awards, promotions. I simply do not care about them yet want them so that’s the paradox. When I do close in on a big bonus, a reward, a week or two of a consistent progress towards a goal, I suddenly give in, and catastrophe sets in. I ensure that the success is completely gone like it never existed

[@holatengobro2332]

I'm a covert narcissist and this video helped me to become a grandiose one, thanks.

[@bleachedout805]

Okay, buddy 🤣.

[@elliot4675]

This makes zero sense, and sounds stupid AF

[@anng.4542]

Narcissists ate notorious for having complete lack of confidence, which is why they are so stuck in their need to push others to meet their own needs.

[@TheSmiaf]

Thanks I'll will give it a try

[@Emilyxuzj]

Hope to see you upload again ❤

[@daniellehillman6277]

Love this simple yet powerful technique.

[@露西尔]

Being sensitive to negative criticism and rejection are one of the reasons people have no self esteem and no confidence

[@battleshock6421]

This really helped I wrote all this down going to start this today

[@debomb721]

Did it help?

[@TheLogicalSapien]

The video rightly mentions David M Burns.. But any discussion on Self Esteem is truly not complete without Nathaniel Brandon's Six Pillars of Self Esteem.. You want to work on Self Esteem.. this book it is.. It's got the ability to change lives.. Try it my dear reader.. It's worth it.. As are you..

[@natalieltif]

Colyum is a new way of saying it ❤

[@marcelagomes]

Amazing video, is helping me on a dark time

[@danieleddy-yy5no]

Amazing work

[@Lulee693]

Thank you for this. ❤️

[@jamieford7089]

This was great! Thank you

[@yarpen1987]

Thx, that helped me a lot.

[@EZO.FUZZ.IS.OFFLINE]

I did 2 years of CBT therapy and it just doesn't seem to work for me. Talking back to that voice in my head feels exactly the same as someone pity-talking to me, which makes me feel even worse.

[@jamiebullock7878]

Sounds like you have a trauma hx, in which case cbt is like wound care. Trauma treatment 1st, then getting to a cognitive place where you are capable of receiving and believing… after which cbt is great follow up care

[@aishabintabubakr4944]

I'm the same way, too much has happened in my life where simply talking back is not enough.

[@Anya-m6g]

thanks a lot, it helped a lot!

[@a7xfanben]

Thanks for making this!

[@IamHolyCounciousness]

We Are Very Grateful Sister We Fell You We See You We Love You We Are Grateful 💓