how to con your borzoi into taking a bath

[@bondfool]

Normally, vertical videos bother me, but this is obviously the correct aspect ratio for a borzoi.

[@finalboss5966]

U sir have won this comment section Allow me to humbly congratulate u

[@PurpleLionRs]

You know, normally that bothers me, didn't even notice it til this comment.

[@xostler]

I didn’t even notice it wash verticals it worked so well!!!

[@h0rriphic]

@@xostler reading your comment just fried a synapse or two in my brain

[@squatchjosh1131]

But what about a sideways borzoi? That requires cinematic widescreen

[@piratekit3941]

If your borzoi is white in color, you can expect your borzoi to be green in color after a bath due to rolling in the first grass they see. Best to sacrifice a rug to them to roll on unless you fancy a grass-green borzoi.

[@chellesama8256]

I mean, if that's an option....

[@GK222_]

Green borzoi sounds good

[@JacobsCoffee28]

I'd love a green borzoi

[@WarFoxThunder]

LOL

[@cleliaserra2218]

😂😂😂

[@sandmaneyes]

Borzoi curses can be deadly. Take care, stranger.

[@Chris.starfleet]

Their cursing vocabulary is extensive.

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

@@Chris.starfleet Ayyyy curse puns

[@dominikdurkovsky8318]

Borzoi blessings, though

[@Respect-r6h]

I absolutely love this women's description of her dogs, so creative.

[@雪鷹魚英語培訓的領航]

If you ever find yourself in the company of a Maine Coon, be prepared to be outwitted by this feline's regal demeanor and shrewd glances. These gentle giants of the cat world are as enigmatic as they are large, with tufted ears that crown their head like a lynx and a ruff of fur that frames their face in majestic fashion. Their fur, a dense waterproof cloak, can vary from a tabby's stripes to a solid cloak of mystery, and their bushy, plumed tails could sweep the mysteries of the forest floor behind them. When it comes to grooming such a noble beast, you'll need more than just an ordinary brush; you'll need an arsenal suited for a king. Start with offerings of the finest salmon or a game of feathered wand to gain their august favor. Then, as you gently comb through their luxurious mane, be sure to unravel the secrets knotted within their thick undercoat. But beware, the Maine Coon's intellect is such that they might just have you believing it was they who decided it was time for a grooming, not you. Bathing a Maine Coon is no small feat-it requires the strategy of a chess master and the patience of a saint. They may grace you with their tolerance, but only for a moment, so be swift and thorough. Once bathed, they expect to be dried to the fluffiness of a cumulus cloud; nothing less will satisfy their high standards. And let not their size fool you, for the Maine Coon is as agile and playful as any of their smaller kin. Their powerful muscles allow them to leap with the grace of a ballet dancer, their large paws patting at the air with the precision of a maestro. In their wake, expect a whirlwind of energy, for the Maine Coon lives life with a vigor that fills the room. But even with their grandeur, these cats have a tender side, showing a loyalty and affection that wraps around their human companions like a warm embrace. They'll commandeer your lap as their throne and purr with a rumble deep enough to echo through the halls of Valhalla. In their presence, you'll find a companion both noble and nurturing, a cat not just living in your home, but reigning over it with a gentle paw. - GPT-4 via Phind

[@雪鷹魚英語培訓的領航]

In the realm of feathered scribes, the African Grey parrot reigns supreme, their eloquence rivaling the bards of old. With a gaze that pierces through the veil of the mundane, these parrots carry the wisdom of the ancients in their slate-colored cloaks and the fire of intellect in their bright red tails. African Greys have a penchant for mimicry that could easily be mistaken for an attempt at conversation or even a foray into the literary arts. To engage with an African Grey is to dance a delicate waltz of wits and whimsy. One must approach with a respectful offering-perhaps a favored nut or a shiny trinket-to earn their esteemed attention. Once you have captivated their curious spirit, prepare to be enchanted by their vocal prowess. With a voice that can weave tales as vividly as any human tongue, they may recite your own words back to you, or perhaps invent a melody so intricate it seems they must have a maestro hidden within their chest. The African Grey's abode is a canvas of their intellect, each toy a testament to their problem-solving skills, and every perch a throne from which they survey their domain. These feathered philosophers contemplate the world with a depth that belies their size, and their nests are not mere shelters but bastions of comfort, each twig and fiber placed with the precision of an architect. In their company, you will find yourself both teacher and student, as they learn from your behavior and you from their responses. Their capacity for understanding and their ability to discern the nuances of human speech are nothing short of miraculous. They may not hold a quill, but their ‘writing’ is in the artistry of their existence, the careful study of their human companions, and the intricate patterns of their communication. As stewards of such intelligent creatures, we must provide not only for their physical needs but for their mental enrichment as well. The African Grey parrot is not a mere pet but a lifelong companion, a creature that demands respect and offers in return an unending wellspring of fascination and joy. In their presence, we are reminded that the beauty of writing is not limited to the page-it can be found in the cadence of a voice, the architecture of a nest, and the silent wisdom held within a parrot's knowing eyes.

[@Taizunx]

There were multiple of them?! :O

[@peskwawa]

@@Taizunxshe has multiple dogs

[@Taizunx]

@@peskwawa "this women's"

[@purplehaze2358]

Maybe it’s just the fact that it’s 2 in the morning right now and my sense of humor is impaired by a lack of sleep, but this is genuinely the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a dog video.

[@Redcloudsrocks]

9 year old humor

[@dimitrijekrstic7567]

​@@Redcloudsrocksif it makes you happy, do you need more?

[@cesaroV898]

Haters Hating ​@@Redcloudsrocks

[@liliamarie5329]

Exactly. 9 year olds have a real sense of humor. Most adults think that for something to be a "joke" it has to be be crass and stupid@@Redcloudsrocks

[@nikeiyomiuri2728]

@@Redcloudsrocks What do you find humorous?

[@rimickulous]

what a lovely horse

[@cattysplat]

The longest faces require the strongest wills.

[@JustMooshie]

Instructions unclear: borzoi turned into a long soggy pasta noodle

[@quantumblauthor7300]

*long doggy

[@thevcountdown9824]

lmao

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

Working as intended, ready for step 2.

[@DarthSidian]

The side-eye in the thumbnail is enviable.

[@MadameM.]

Post-bath existential crisis! 😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@00zarzu00]

it’s for real; my bully experiences this haha

[@ember9361]

@@00zarzu00 oh my god, you mean bully a bulldog/bull terrier I straight up thought you meant a human who was bullying you and you were roasting them for a couple of seconds lmfao

[@rleriche5044]

*extistential

[@MadameM.]

@@rleriche5044 Well, no. Existential,” as spelled in first comment of mine. Unless you want to make up a new word, which you can and I’m sure Cleo would approve.

[@rleriche5044]

@@MadameM. 1:04 🤭

[@Rose.Of.Hizaki]

1:09 - and thats when you flop down next to your borzoi and ask *_"Hey, why the long face??"_*

[@GiaLay]

HELP

[@patsabol8699]

I so enjoy your commentary. It's at least as enjoyable as looking at your dogs. Thanks for the chuckles, laughs, and loud guffaws!

[@heartlesskitten88]

Came here to say this. I love this channel

[@KABrown-jp5eh]

The back end...it's where they hide their secrets!! 😂😅

[@soclose2her]

Lmaooo I died at this part

[@lucabonori1326]

This feels so much like the jenna marbles dog content we've been craving for the past years. Just hilarious, chef kiss! A wonderful day to all 🌻

[@tinahatch7440]

I think my favorite element of your videos is the absolute weariness in your voice. You have accepted your fate. 😆

[@marianstroup1]

My Aunt Catherine was a model in NY back in the day, and she owned the famous Wolfshmidt Vodka borzois. I had no idea they were famous until I checked out some books from the library on borzois and they were in the books!! Beautiful dogs. Gentle and sweet, and SO gorgeous. Their names were Lady and Baron Wolfshmidt. They lived to a ripe old age. They have thousands of descendants

[@82dorrin]

Borzoi are great dogs

[@alexia3552]

oh my god his face at the end, you aren't kidding

[@lobstermash]

Reminds me of Edward Gorey's drawings. Come to think of it, that's probably where borzois come from. They escaped from Gorey drawings.

[@kenna7627]

i love that everyone inexplicably agrees that all borzois tell riddles

[@Paxmax]

Hahaahaa!! Killer thumbnail, dat side-eye... "I used to trust you... well, no more!"

[@j.h.6081]

The pink towel over the borzoi upped the adorableness.

[@ShinyAvalon]

Excellent essay on the bathing of the Borzoi! Seriously, that was some well-written humor there. Nicely done.

[@BoReads]

They're such beautiful creatures.

[@HughLlewellyn]

Having had two Borzois, I can confirm, all of this is true. And utterly adorable! 💙

[@hildebrand142]

was the lucky owner of Pavla of Phantom Lake. from a little puppy to a 14 year old sweetheart. i didn't think i'd ever get over her passing. actually, i guess i haven't. :{

[@Antifrost]

I'm constantly amazed that Borzois are real dogs, and I can only hope I'm worthy to meet one someday.

[@HezrouDhiaga]

Post-path existential crisis, then the bath was successful LMAO Edit: The 1 downvote was the Borzoi

[@HarryisI]

0:42 is terrifying, it's like they're pre-emptively cursing anyone who might be watching this footage

[@thedivinemrm5832]

The dogs are gorgeous, obviously, but it's the "if Aubrey Plaza commentated Westminster" that I'm here for.

[@thomaskositzki9424]

Sounds like a Borzoi really is a cat that just heavily resembles a dog in appearance. 😉 Awesome guide btw. 😂

[@thebeltcameback1553]

im a cat person so i often forget how Shaped -dogs- wily mythical creatures get. 10/10 could con a borzoi if i needed to

[@Jonas_Keunecke]

Great video, very funny. The face in the thumbnail is like "I know what you're trying to do.."

[@lisabeyer4712]

“a cloud the lord made and brought down to earth” 🤣

[@bryanpritchett]

Oh, man, this is giving me flashbacks to washing my greyhounds back in the day. Eventually, the simplest solution was to just pick them up and get in the shower with them. It was the only way to prevent escape and ensuing havoc.

[@rncine]

I don’t have a borzoi, I use to have a sassy Pitbull who hated baths. Took her to a charity dog event where they were bathing dogs for money. Cost $25 and she looked and smelled incredible afterwards. I then decided to take her to the park…….where she then casually rolled in 💩 Had her for 12 yrs and miss her everyday.

[@bbblahoo7]

My condolences 💐 😔🙏🏽

[@LynnPAWZ]

Thank you for your videos, not like anyone else (thankfully) you are awesome 😊 P.S. it doesn't hurt that both pups are insanely cute ❤

[@Chaos8200_YT]

The crushing face of defeat when the borzoi had realized it's fate silenced the entire room in an instant. The sound of the showerhead dripping water unto the canine echoed throughout the cold bathroom walls and the doggo succumbed to it's cleanly demise; accepting what had been a fulfilling life cut short by the need for sanitary action.

[@nahidbethehonoredone]

"Let me do it for you."

[@shadowcat314]

Where do they hide their stash of borzoi gold, and how can you teach your children not to fall for thier borzoi tricks and schemes?

[@StandAloneSoul]

I love and admire that you bribe and convince them instead of forcing them with physical power or fear. Yes, it should be self explanatory to treat your pets with respect amd dignity and not tyrannize and opress them..but it seems it isnt. So I compliment loving care wherever i notice it, and i will continue to do so until it is the ONLY norm to do so.

[@loridyson569]

Now that was funny & started my day off with a chuckle & smile! Thank you. A friend had one of these dogs & it had such a loving funny personality.

[@Laura-kl7vi]

The sarcasm is awesome.

[@Kcali111]

This is the content I love. Commentary and knowledge of her pet was uncanny ❤.

[@BoRaiChoWins]

Yes another Borzoi channel. I love this breed of dog. They are so awesome and adorable.

[@justaguy2182]

“It is against the Borzoi’s nature to listen to you so you’ll have to bribe them.” I’LL TAKE THE PETSTORE’S ENTIRE STOCK.

[@zenz0ha472]

The Borzoi has no owners or masters. They own whoever they live with. Like cats. Just ten times bigger.

[@roses9339]

Love the humour. Cheers Rosemary Western Australia 73yrs

[@Titanusshimoicetitan]

I love your Video and your Voiceover! and channel

[@MsSteelphoenix]

A VERY LONG FLOOF. MOST ADORABLE. ❤❤❤

[@Franku_4]

"Because they will try to confuse you with riddles" 🤔🤔🤔

[@cinm9565]

Too funny❤. That thumbnail is priceless.

[@Alberich_Prince_of_Dwarves]

I love 'zois so much and I wish I had the livingspace to care for one. But alas, I will have to make-do with videos on these russian wizards.

[@Jessie_Ann244]

I’m a pet groomer. We had a Borzoi that came in every 8 weeks. Her name was Symphony and she was an angel for her bath, blow dry, nails, and everything thing else we did. We all absolutely adored her. She would always walk in like the queen of the salon! She passed last year but I always think of her when I see a Borzoi.

[@rainbowdemon5033]

awww he is just a widdle guy

[@corpsedevil]

PLEASE tell me this is a jacksepticeye reference

[@rainbowdemon5033]

@@corpsedevil yes it is

[@Cheeksplitter2000]

Borzoi was Bamboozled

[@TheAero1221]

I love to imagine a borzoi having a post-bath existential crisis. What would it even be about, I wonder. Haha.

[@big0bad0brad]

See other dog; smell other dog. No smell self. Is self?

[@ginacantabene8629]

I love borzois! What an adorable doggo you have!

[@epluribusunum1460]

I always think of borzois when I remember laughing with my father as in play we’d recite together: “protect us from ghosties and ghoulies and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night”.

[@projectx5154]

Borzois are the cutest breed. I don't understand people who think they're gross or creepy

[@promaster424]

Be careful because Borzois have access to the entire Russian curse library

[@ms.mojo_risin]

Love your creative mind and your doggies❤

[@lovelylipbonesouwwwwwwwolv2198]

So interesting how this breed has such a long snout and slender build...

[@cathyspiller7154]

And on the eighth day God created the Borzoi. God needed a day's rest due to the Borzoi needing to be the most perfect and demanding of all canines.

[@akastardust]

The narration & video = perfection.

[@ryszakowy]

post bath existential crysis

[@Iflie]

LOL, just wanted the chicken, fooled again! Why can't baths be like a muddy algea pool they love jumping into, to look like a swamp beast and smell even better right?

[@anon6116]

You are so very lucky to have been chosen. I’m extremely envious but guilt free. ❤

[@macareuxmoine]

Hilarious, thank you! This is what I needed for New Years Eve! Happy New Year 🎉

[@alsizar7865]

I bet this borzoi is really good at getting that last Pringle out of the tube.

[@professordavid2008]

I’m just enjoying the narration. Hilariously intellectual. Reminds me of that tv show “Gilmore Girls.”

[@tordlindgren2123]

such a strong side eye.

[@jaymac7203]

The thumbnail 😭😭 lol 😂

[@KeithFuruli]

I'm so glad you have a firm grasp on Borzoi personality traits they could easily send you to another dimention if they did not respect you, great job please keep us informed of the Borzoi and the wind hound

[@KenS1267]

I failed the riddle game and now the borzoi has my first born and my soul. Bath was noy successful.

[@NerdyChocolateLabradoodle]

0:09 Wait, are you suggesting that a Borzoi could, and would, *EAT* our first-born child?!

[@1kreature]

You missed out the part where the dog finds the dirtiest smelliest piece of rug, carpet or towel in the house and promptly goes for a floor-swim on it after the bath.

[@paulfrels3590]

Beautiful animal, I’ve Never in my life heard of this breed.

[@pamelahofman1785]

They used to be called Russian Wolfhounds. Maybe you’ve heard of them with that name?

[@boolproptestingcheatsenabl3084]

she was such a good snoobie getting in that baff all by her selp

[@AncalagonTheDread]

If they don't look like a wet rat, then you did it wrong. Great line!

[@TheTrueMerrio]

Snake horsey needs to get a watering.

[@dooms8870]

Leeeet mee doooo itt foooorr yeeeeuuuuooo.

[@Goibniu001]

...kermie.

[@nospoonfulofmayonnaiseforme]

"secret sauce"

[@lordchiopet1630]

This was absolutely delightful

[@FunnyRedemption]

"let me do it for you"

[@GtrPknMama]

Evidently Afghan Hounds and Borzoi are of the same mindset. Lol 😂❤🐾🐾

[@waretaSL]

The sulking afterwards is such a dog thing to do omg my german shepherd is very much like that as well 😂😂😭🩷

[@jeffbaca1173]

Perfect narration!

[@KeroseneSkies]

They tell riddles because we all know they are just sphinx in dog suits

[@natrium1250]

Love how they look like a different dark souls boss at every point in the process

[@gonufc]

Your anteater looks well.

[@zackmavouls6417]

That borzoi took that bath because that borzoi did for you

[@AngieRival]

Hehehe I love this AND your Borzoi ❤

[@dogdonut3]

This was in my recommended. I bet others will follow.

[@thomasmint1761]

In the late 70s, there was a great local band on the Jersey shore named Borzoi. They named it such after the lead singer’s dog.

[@PashaSlavaUkraine]

This is so chill, borzoi life is so tough, can’t help but love ❤️ borzois

[@WinterFrostDragon1347]

You must have enough coin to buy Borzoi wares. 😆

[@SamaelVR]

This is a borzoi owner who understands borzoi content

[@HCSAgirl99]

this video brings me cheer and joy. gracias

[@mawdewile]

The writing for this was absolutely 💯

[@rikabernar]

I love it so much) Thank you)

[@nancylyon-gray3499]

Oh, you are so damn funny. I had an Afghan Hound for 16 years. She was VERY demanding. Need to poop? Just squat anywhere because someone will come from behind you and clean it up. The sidewalk in the city, the back of your boyfriend's BMW, the pet store. Then, they must drape themselves on the couch while you feed them dog treats individually. They also must have on a strand of pearls at all times and when their snout turns grey, it must be dyed back to black so as to not reveal her age. I remember these days. Very similar - but your material is so damn funny. Thank you so much. I can't wait to get to it every day.

[@bugdozer]

Seems to be a perfectly acceptable procedure.