I went to buy a car 5 years ago, I walked inside the first guy that came he asked me , how can I help you? I told him, you wouldn’t be able to sell me a car in less than an hour. I don’t even know if I can qualify for the loan. The guy was confused and he said less check if you do. He came back and I qualified for a 0% loan because of my credit. In less than an hour I walked out of the car dealer with my car and I pay what I thought was the right amount. No hassle, not headache, fast and very smooth. This is the first time in my live that I brought a car in less than an hour. Of course I did my homework first about the price, the 0% interest and I was calm an I really enjoy it.
@NegotiationMastery Жыл бұрын
Sounds like preparation and an understanding of what the Black Swans were really gave you a leg up?
@johnpachkoski46372 жыл бұрын
assertive types: 6:38 "getting what they want is 3rd on their list" "being in control is number one on their list, and thats emotionally satisfying" "the alpha type that we refer to as assertive, the one thing thats more important than getting what they want is being respected and making sure that you know everything about what they're coming from off" 7:20 "Its really more important to them that they felt that they conducted themselves respectably, that you respected them, and that you knew where they were coming from,. and when you know these things, they'll actually soften up on what they want." 7:43 "When they're demanding, what they're saying to you subtlety is " i want you to know how important this to me, i want you to know how important i am" Talk about them as if they were someone known as respected, or worthy of admiration/respect 8:00 gives some examples. 8:30 'stroking their ego is not a bad thing' 10:50 "if you're dealing with someone, especially an assertive that might forget what they said or what they committed to because they were just too busy being aggressive, when you get in the moment, the rule of three, is this idea that we got confirmation from someone or something, three times before we move forward." 11:08 "Number one because people have a tendency to remember something they agreed to three times, and number two it also creates an emotional moment that we can refer back to later on in the timeline, lets say something blows up, we can go back to 'when you said this three times, how was i supposed to interpret that' 11:33 'do you got a problem with me doing x' "thats your first of three confirmations in the moment" "you can also easily follow that up with a label, 'sounds like you're not going to have any issue with this?' You can also paraphrase it. 'So you're good with me taking on this effort and handling it this way', "Now you've gotten that three times, and if something blows up, or they change their mind down the line, you've got all for all intents and purposes the instant defense, 'when we talked about this last week and you asked this three times, What did You want Me to interpret from that', "Now you're essentially off the hook." 12:25 "and then Another one thats just in general for dealing with assertive, they like to talk, they usually have a dissertation to get off their chest, 12:39 mirrors are a great way to navigate through that dissertation, and specifically when you're mirroring, right as they're going on and on, they're going to say stuff thats actually important to you, eventually they're going to say something thats you want them to focus on, thats what you end up mirroring, and it very much directs their thought process, very much like a pinball in a pinball machine, your flippers are the mirrors, for all intents and purposes." 13:
@L_MD_ Жыл бұрын
I work with an assertive - best technique for me, has been priming them - like if I need to say a flat no. I’ll prime them little by little - bit bit by bit, where eventually when they I say a flat out NO, I’ve mentioned this before. It has - for me, worked for me every time.
@jajabiotek Жыл бұрын
Can you please elaborate what you mean by this? English is not my mother tongue
@louio6 ай бұрын
It's seems like you know how to handle situations with an assertive....?
@starfishgroup1101 Жыл бұрын
Chris’s videos are making a difference in my single family with the business in the Dallas-Fort Worth market
@metalist666774 күн бұрын
My boy Chris at the end enjoying himself with that last interview “our masterclass”😎
@laurahankins81832 жыл бұрын
I appreciate his thoughts and writings. He is a deep thinker. God bless his team and those he shares with!😊
@agedaquarian24582 жыл бұрын
Used some of your methods today as in "negotiations" with barristers over forced covid jab of learning disabled in the UK. Slippery eels these types. They know what they want and engineer their positions to achieve. Did get them to snap and then said you're so gracious which definitely disarmed. Very hard to configure questions to exact the negative also but hopefully I'll learn and fast for full trial coming soon
@cai42069 Жыл бұрын
Does this work on car salesmen? Car salesman "Does this number look good?" Me "How... do you expect me to pay this?"
@NegotiationMastery Жыл бұрын
It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc
@lorellamessana2346 Жыл бұрын
Apathy is expression with picture . Smile out inside apathy . The split is internal when you don t know yourself you let others describe you
@tomjeff1743 Жыл бұрын
When on a zoom call, if the main speaker (typically the person who set it up and is running it - the owner of the call if you will) spotlights himself than when other people talk, they won't capture the screen.
@LinYouToo8 ай бұрын
Tom Girardi was charged with multiple counts of wire fraud for stealing money from clients for 10 years. And, other lawyers at his law firm were sanctioned for mishandling client money. It makes me really think about how you interact with people and the fact that you can never ever be 100% certain of someone’s intentions. Are they truly trying to build a relationship with you for mutual benefit or is there psychopathic harm involved in the case of the now disgraced Tom Girardi?
@dr92052 ай бұрын
But he was so very nice doing it.
@xpicklepie25 күн бұрын
American Greed, baby.
@senecaknowsbest83809 ай бұрын
Voss has made it very clear in many conversations that he does not necessarily like nor agree with those that he is negotiating with for the release of hostages. There is nobody so pure on the planet. Everybody has flaws. It sounds like you’re not willing to negotiate with anybody but those who have committed no sin
@clementekpo7606 Жыл бұрын
Super value packed
@christinemurphy4367 Жыл бұрын
I hate to say is but I have such a hard time "stroking egos" that are already GIGANTIC in the mind of the "assertive" or as I call them narcissists. I agree that it's probably to my advantage to flatter them and coddle them with inflating lies. It's STILL SO HARD for me.
@NegotiationMastery Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching.
@timcentralpointinvestigati668310 ай бұрын
@@NegotiationMasterysuch a crappy reply for someone looking for a bit of advise
@louio6 ай бұрын
@timcentralpointinvestigati6683 it looks like Tim, you're frustrated at Negotiation Mastery....
@rayellejohnson99616 ай бұрын
@@timcentralpointinvestigati6683it seems like maybe the user may need to detach herself from the situation and change her number one goal to the outcome. It seems a goal of holding onto her own ego may be before such a goal.
@poobum9857 Жыл бұрын
ive never had to negotiate a Starbucks coffee .. i enjoy real coffee from McDonald's!
@toomuchnoyz7 ай бұрын
I would love advice around using this technique for enterprise bargaining situations…against employer who wont budge from their initial offer and wont listen to our claims
@peeweelickdoughal639 Жыл бұрын
An aggressive toxic person would never ask. Have you given up on doing business with me? However I wish they would ask that question because it would be an open invite to get away from them and I wouldn't have to say no slowly I would say yes LOL
@NegotiationMastery Жыл бұрын
It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc
@MakeItWork4132 жыл бұрын
Around 34:24, Steve drops a "you're right" on Derek. It sounds like Derek's advice makes sense to him in theory, he just doesn't have a clear picture of how to put it into action.
@lorellamessana2346 Жыл бұрын
This lesson describe a paranoid man
@IluvinortheIneffable2 ай бұрын
lol Derek talking about The Analyst profile made me feel like he was in my head. Anyone else?
@at-last11 ай бұрын
1:04:47
@ftheg999 ай бұрын
30:06 the guest is accommodating the assertive person right now. They have a guess and are afraid it would upset them to be both right or wrong. I wish the host would have confronted them with this and pushed them to go past their own inner block. Where is their resistance to the question coming from?
@gisellegradvohl7654Ай бұрын
24:31
@eyeservantez5 ай бұрын
Being assertive is different than being aggressive.
@DSmith-e5e Жыл бұрын
They mistaken kindness with your being weak, cheerful with being ditzy ect so on.
@firstactionhero2 ай бұрын
Around assertive people I act dumb - overly dumb
@kirillnadtochiy5039 Жыл бұрын
So you just mirror back to what they said? Say the same thing to them?
@NegotiationMastery Жыл бұрын
Mirroring is a great skill to use in many different situations.
@dougwedel94842 жыл бұрын
I keep following BSG and I look for ways to just talk Russia into leaving Ukraine the way they are leaving Kherson. It may take time but it could go much faster than how long they took in Afghanistan. I also want to influence people in Toronto, to encourage them to ride bicycles and build bike lanes. So many people are against bike lanes and against cyclists. It could take a while. Keep up the good work, Chris Voss and Lewis Howes. Keep being nice guys. Let's talk nice to Russia, to bring this war in Ukraine to an end.
@mackhomie62 жыл бұрын
wait...what? you are looking for ways to talk Russia into leaving Ukraine? lol how does that work
@dougwedel94842 жыл бұрын
@@mackhomie6 I'm inspired by the stories in Chris' book Never Split The Difference. There was a story about an American taken hostage in the Philippines. He just walked away after Chris coached a negotiator to get a That's Right out of the kidnapper. What is happening in Russia is a lot more complicated but the same techniques can be used there. I look for opportunities to use an accusations audit on Russians.
@dougwedel94842 жыл бұрын
@@mackhomie6 It sounds like you are surprised with my idea. Maybe you really are not aware of the power of words. Keep in mind, eventually there will be an end to the war in Ukraine and it will come with verbal negotiations. While the fighting carries on, there is a constant discussion between Russians and Ukrainians plus many other countries, including Americans. All of these people can talk Russia into walking away from Ukraine if they just figure out what words to say and how to say them. Sun Tsu said in his book The Art of War Those who win every battle are not really skillful. Those who render others' armies helpless without fighting are the best of all. His book is about war but he was not a war monger. He treated war the way a doctor treats cancer, something to fight and end asap. Look for what happened in Kherson recently. Ukraine isolated 40,000 Russian soldiers so they could not get supplies. They blew up bridges so they could not cross the Dnipro River and were basically under siege. So after 2 months of literal starvation of their best troops they had to withdraw their soldiers. And Ukraine let Russia do that. If it were me, I would have taken all of them as POW's but they thought better of that and let them go. That was in part through negotiation with Russia. More is to come. Acusation Audits will be part of Ukraine's success. Chris spoke about Ukraine in one of his videos but was very timid with it. He knows things can go disastrously wrong when you try to negotiate. But they can go disastrously wrong with weapons too, so it's worth taking the chance. And if we win, we win peace.
@dougwedel94842 жыл бұрын
@@mackhomie6 Gandhi won India's independence from Britain without firing a shot. He didn't even have a government job! But he got it done.
@StevenWDixАй бұрын
I am not up to speed on President Putin but I sense his ego was perhaps damaged somehow and perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. I would never use a negative dark psychology phrase for a brand name for example, as an impulsive ego could wrongly assume I am the enemy? Flip a coin? Bicycle lanes honestly are an eye sore and waste of money in my opinion. I just laid enough concrete and rebar to support 50 tons traveling down the street without cracking sewer pipes and you want to draw lane lines for vehicles weighing 300 lbs? Then we have the issue of bicyclists being frequent victims of hit and run, sometimes because frequent pot holes are so noisy if you did not see the bicyclist they keep going or people without insurance do not want to admit fault. I have been to a hospital. I love bikes, but I am not sharing the road with motorized vehicles - only dedicated bike trails. If anyone disagrees peace, I am not trying to ruffle feathers.
@someonethirsty19572 жыл бұрын
“You’ve said before, that you would never lie to anyone that you’re not going to kill.” Holy fuck, way to cut from that subject.
@dr92052 ай бұрын
So that shows premeditation.
@derrickrose59335 күн бұрын
Yeah that pissed me off too
@jdesert50362 жыл бұрын
Love the Black Swan methods, but Chris and group PLEASE stop using bad actors like Tom Girardi and Jack Welch as examples in your stories. They may have been very successful, but their methods have proven to be selfish and hurtful to those they negotiated with, something against what you teach.
@wkdravenna2 жыл бұрын
It seems like you don't like Jack Welch. How can he do that though?
@miket29162 жыл бұрын
@@wkdravenna It seems like you are seeking attention?
@wkdravenna2 жыл бұрын
@@miket2916 thanks Mike I feel like your giving it, you rock. 😁
@anupamajois4610 Жыл бұрын
@@wkdravenna You guys seem like you're having a lively conversation
@EddyLeeKhane Жыл бұрын
Shows that skills can be used for good and evil Kinda forgot what Girardi got dumped on for, may you elaborate his wrongdoings?
@lorellamessana2346 Жыл бұрын
Paranoid people identify with the objet . The object in mine no I m an object .
@Medietos Жыл бұрын
"Assertion" seems to used in a negative sense here, confusing. Self-assertion is being taight people who get deceived, run over, taken advantage of. What is meant in this video, is it a euphemism for "aggressive"?
@NegotiationMastery Жыл бұрын
When we refer to a person as "Assertive," it actually means their personality type. Data shows that most people split into 3 types. Fight,Flight, or Make friends aka Assertive, Analysts or Accommodator. The Assertive type style of negotiation often is perceived by the other 2 types as aggressive, abrasive or harsh in their method of communication. Anyone can practice assertion but when the pressure is on what personality type do you naturally fall into?
@tjwilliams32332 жыл бұрын
😎
@opalmoxy10 ай бұрын
It seems like Chris has personally negotiated with Donald Trump. How else could he know how Donald yells and fails his arms in an aggressive manner? 🎉
@gracefellowship94943 ай бұрын
I’ve come to listen to Chris, not his son or anyone else..
@c.9850 Жыл бұрын
Totally wrong about Trump. Best president the USA ever had.
@andersestes2 ай бұрын
What did he accomplish? Genuinely curious, being from Europe
@Fafarello4 күн бұрын
Totally agree. Could it be that it’s because he has a limited time left of 4 years? That seems to advantage his assertive style; he doesn’t need to upkeep relationships with himself for long before it’s the next guy’s responsibility instead.
@Fafarello4 күн бұрын
@@andersestesrelationships with China, North Korea and Al Qaeda were all going exceptionally, until the next administration. Also John Bolton. That jerk ruined the start of talks with NK.
@lorellamessana2346 Жыл бұрын
No comment . Many people looking for stimulats drung ,viagra, pub . This is depression , sofa , no job , no family , no news ,