How to deal with blame and criticism | Ajahn Brahm | 18 Nov 2016

[@tonyhill2318]

These talks are so wonderful....my favorite on KZbin. So nurturing for awareness and kindness. I love the humor!

[@alexsmith6852]

I’m so glad the universe created this monk. Great humor and solid wisdom.

[@dextergavin6950]

I know I am quite randomly asking but does anybody know a good site to stream newly released series online?

[@watsonasa1975]

@Dexter Gavin Flixportal

[@dextergavin6950]

@Watson Asa Thanks, I went there and it seems like a nice service :) I really appreciate it !!

[@watsonasa1975]

@Dexter Gavin Glad I could help :D

[@tarjeik7162]

Ajahn for president!!

[@bambinyclady]

Ajahn Brahm... so good you are back. I was sick all summer going for radiation for 7 weeks and chemo for 6 weeks for Stage 3 Cervix Cancer. It was hard being around so many non-Buddhist such as doctors and my sons who came home to take care of me. Kept telling me to fight to beat the cancer. I kept saying I am not a fighter.. and at peace and ready to die if my time. I have no fear of death as a Buddhist. Most people looked at me as if I was Insane and wanted me on anti-depressant etc. I wish I had Buddhist friends and a temple near me in my real life. My Cancer is gone without fighting it .. just following instructions.. and I'm feeling great except tired from being anemic now.. I did lose my way for awhile. Had no energy to even put on these KZbin talks. I was not a strong enough Buddhist.. to stay strong on my own without reinforcements. So glad I can hear your talks again. emma~`

[@anada11]

Sister, you may read about the last day of the Buddha. Reflect about death and you shall not fear it. When the time comes think positively in your last moment of life. Perform various good deed as best you can. Give away all your possession because you can not take it with you to your next life. Let go of hatred. So you may reborn in a better realm. You just leave this vessel and reborn in a new vessel. Ghost realm, animal realm, human realm, deva realm etc. This is the cycle of rebirth in Buddhism. The Buddha was born hundred, thousand, ten thousand lives, aeon as myriad being until he becomes enlighten. Understand this and your mind will be at ease. You are simply depart to reborn in another state of being. The four stages of enlightenment in Buddhism are the four degrees of approach to full enlightenment as an Arahant which a person can attain in this life. The four stages are Sotapanna, Sakadagami, Anagami and Arahant. The teaching of the four stages of enlightenment is a central element of the early Buddhist schools, including the surviving Theravada school of Buddhism. The Ordinary person An ordinary person, or puthujjana is trapped in the endless changes of saṃsara. Doing good or evil as influenced by his desires and aversions, an ordinary person is born in higher or lower states of being (heavens or hells) according to their actions. As these persons have little control over their minds and behaviors, their destinies are haphazard and subject to great suffering. The ordinary person has never seen and experienced the ultimate truth of Dhamma, and therefore has no way of finding an end to his predicament. The Noble persons One who begins sincere training on the Buddhist path (known as Sekhas in Pali or those in training) and experiences the truth to the extent of cutting of a number of the ten mental fetters (Pali: saṃyojana), becomes an ariya puggala (Pali; Sanskrit: āryapudgala): a "noble person" who will surely become an Arahant in the near future (within seven lives). Their specific path is governed by the degree of attainment reached. "Among whatever communities or groups there may be, the Sangha of the Tathagata's disciples is considered supreme... Those who have confidence in the Sangha have confidence in what is supreme; and for those with confidence in the supreme, supreme will be the result." The Sangha of the Tathagata's disciples (Ariya Sangha), i.e. the four [groups of noble disciples] when taken as pairs, the eight when taken as persons. The four groups of noble disciples (Buddhist Sekhas) when taken as pairs are those who have attained: (1) the path to stream-entry; (2) the fruition of stream-entry; (3) the path to once-returning ; (4) the fruition of once-returning; (5) the path to non-returning ; (6) the fruition of non-returning; (7) the path to arahantship ; (8) the fruition of arahantship. Taking each attainment singly gives eight "individuals." Stream-enterer The first stage is that of Sotāpanna, literally meaning "one who enters (āpadyate) the stream (sotas)," with the stream being the Noble Eightfold Path regarded as the highest Dharma. The stream-enterer is also said to have "opened the eye of the Dharma". A stream-enterer is guaranteed enlightenment after no more than seven successive rebirths, and possibly in fewer. The stream-enterer can also be sure that he will not be reborn in any of the unhappy states or rebirths (an animal, a preta, or in hell). He can only be reborn as a human being, or in a heaven. The stream-enterer has attained an intuitive grasp of Buddhist doctrine ("right view"), has complete confidence or Saddha in the Three Jewels of Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha, and has good moral behaviour (Sila). Once-returner The second stage is that of the Sakadāgāmī , literally meaning "one who once comes (āgacchati)". The once-returner will return to the human world only one more time, and will attain Nirvana in that life. Non-returner The third stage is that of the Anāgāmī , literally meaning "one who does not (an-) come (āgacchati)". The non-returner does not come back into human existence, or any lower world, after death. Instead, he is reborn in one of the worlds of the Rūpadhātu called the Śuddhāvāsa worlds, or "Pure Abodes", where he will attain Nirvāṇa; Pāli: Nibbana; some of them are reborn a second time in a higher world of the Pure Abodes, but in no case are born into a lower state. An Anāgāmī has abandoned the five lower fetters that bind the mind to the cycle of rebirth. An Anāgāmī is thus partially enlightened, and on the way to perfect and complete Enlightenment. Arahant The fourth stage is that of Arahant, a fully enlightened human being who has abandoned all fetters, and who upon decease will not be reborn in any world, having wholly abandoned saṃsāra. May you recover from your illness.

[@bambinyclady]

Thank you for your kind words Ravana Lanka.. it was not fear of death.. I welcomed death.. it was the pain involved. Pain all gone now.. but pain will come again someday as pain does to humans (I mean physical pain).. emma

[@hellooutthere8956]

i want to ask you something. while you were at peace did you not consider how your children felt at the thought of losing you?

[@SandraLovesSun]

Emma Emerson - I'd like to hear the rest of your comment. It was cut off at "I wish I had"

[@miroslawawysocka3329]

Emma have a lot of hugs and cuddles and kiss.What nice to hear from you.xxxxxxxxxI wish you a lot of health and joy

[@wanmeireles7182]

Weeee! I missed you, Ajahn Brahm!

[@barbspease4636]

Just came across Ajahn Brahm about a month ago, and every waking moment I have been listening to him on KZbin. Thanks! Been having difficulty finding people in my area to get together with( very conservative area). But for now, this helps me so much. He is very kind and funny. I especially like the Trump jokes! And please let it be known that many of us think that Trump is the worst thing that has ever happened to us!!! Perhaps I could have a few chants for our people. We need all the help we can get. This is sent with lots of love.

[@ymfg9004]

Love you, Ajahn Brahm. What a wonderful teaching🤗 🙏 I practise another tradition of Buddhism in Melbourne, but what you teach is just the same and sometimes you help me understand what I'm learning better by watching your videos. If my marriage wasn't so miserable I would never have found Buddhism. Then when my husband finally left me after 34 years, I had the tools to deal with it happily. I only miss the cheap airfares that allowed me to travel the world to festivals, teachings and retreats (he worked for an airline) 😄 . Without Buddha's teachings I would have slashed the tyres of my ex's car and tried to "take him for everything" the way my non-Buddhist friends insisted. Instead, I can still talk to him when necessary and wish him a happy birthday each year. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could all adopt these habits of mind?

[@benjaminemery9716]

How very nice to see Ajahn Brahm return from the Rains Retreat. His beaming positive energy and kindfulness is always felt; even through his live broadcasts and videos. Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

[@hellooutthere8956]

wht does Sadhu mean?

[@benjaminemery9716]

Greetings to you, Sharon. 'Sadhu' originated from the time when the Buddha gave teachings to followers and at the end of part of the talk, they would all say together 'Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!', meaning 'Well Done', in praise of the Buddha's teaching. It's a very good question! I hope this makes sense? Have a nice day :)

[@Clicker3]

Love these videos! One thing I have to mention - don't overpraise. We don't want to create a society full of narcissists, and it is shown by research that's one of the ways it happens.

[@ymfg9004]

What did Atisha say? Blow away praise the way you blow your nose. Of course we thank people because they would be offended if we don't acknowledge their kindness, but don't let the praise affect us.

[@mohammedjalloh7658]

First time hearing Ajahn Brahm speak. I’m definately going to watch more ! I intended to only watch a small bit and save the rest for the next day, but I ended up watching it through ! Great lesson to learn in any case ! 😊🙏📿

[@MrSushi1010]

Dear Ajahn Brahm, thank you for giving me the advice about being taken advantage of and trusting and be disappointed rather than being doubtful and lonely ❤️ I am practicing generosity and sometimes don't know what to do when this happens! Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

[@Kelseashell]

Mrsushi, it helps to not be a people pleaser so much, but to focus on making sure your needs are met then you can give to others endlessly

[@jordanmarshall9160]

There you are Brahm! greetings from Winnipeg.

[@faccafromklepp]

Amazing energy in the comment section! And amazing to hear Ajahn Brahm again!

[@vtecpreludevtec]

Soulchach RoomFullOfMusicalTunes 🇳🇿😂😂😂😂😂☮☮☮👍👍👍

[@tomparlo9510]

Soulchach RoomFullOfMusicalTunes y

[@winniethompson7555]

ajahn Bram

[@shadowsinvortex7990]

Thank you for posting! So good to watch and listen in again

[@bodyandmindtransformation4078]

Ajan I live in Ireland the next Island to England I love listening to you. Your peace of mind, diega, up here. You fill me with peace, joy and humility, thank you so much for that

[@appi75]

Yay!! AB is back!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@mrsupermannow]

Pls respect him, his name is not AB, its Ajahn Brahm

[@kaonashiyoshi3665]

has he been somewhere? I thought I was the only one that had been away haha

[@appi75]

Kaonashi Yoshi 😊😊 I didn't see any of his talks uploaded on the channel after July... but well, here he is! And I feel so happy!! 😇😇

[@wanmeireles7182]

He was in a retreat as far as I know.

[@kaonashiyoshi3665]

Same here it looked like the BSWA created a bunch of seperate channels back then and I never took the time to sort through it, happy to see this new content on here now though! yay!

[@NicoleTruscott13]

Thank you so much for uploading these talks, they bring so much insight and I am so lucky to be able to hear them from anywhere in the world. I recently have had an experience with seeing emptiness and can hear how true these words are on a whole new level. Sadu sadu sadu With metta ❤️🙏

[@daliagrace9050]

AJAHN BRAHM LOVE YOU ❤welcome back

[@konradnsa]

Teacher! You are making me better Christian! 👍

[@vtecpreludevtec]

Kon Rad no conflict boss,from some points of view Buddhism isnt a religion,but philosophy.Buddha didn't confirm gods existance or non existance,n we dont worship him.For fun u may like to utube,Jesus was a Buddhist monk.Oh,.westerners usually define thier beliefs,"Im a Christian,Im an atheist,or Im a Buddhist.In Thailand ppl put it like this,"I follow the Buddha dharma"(teachings).Y not be a Christian n follow the dharma.

[@konradnsa]

Mike Berg so...?

[@hellooutthere8956]

i tell christians tht and they say i am condemned for i am listening to demons.

[@nicholasbishop6731]

Amen

[@nicholasbishop6731]

@@hellooutthere8956 Stupid

[@sallywong8426]

Greetings from Singapore Ajahn Brahm, i am feeling blessed to come upon your talk which i need most at this point of time. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

[@AprilMelodyVlogs]

HES BACKKK!!!!

[@manasyoga]

Being yourself sahdu...Saahdduu...SAaaaDddduuuu ,...so charming ... I love your individuALlity AB!!

[@angiewyatt1646]

Thank you for your help and advice with you and my angels guides and archangels I'm in bliss with life bless you love and light xx 🙏

[@akakonoha]

Thank you for all your hard work & teachings. 🙏🏾💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 PS. Blame is a social problem. It's highly toxic.

[@Dancewithpaula]

Nice to see you back!!

[@SandraLovesSun]

45:45 Praise "If you keep criticizing them, fault finding them, blaming them...they get worse. See a quality in them which you admire, praise that, praise that and it grows..." I wish the person I have been in a relationship with followed that. Feeling quite low. Such an easy concept that could have built me/us up, versus tear me/us down. Low EQ. There were so many good things here. What a shame.

[@RusudanTsiskreli]

Wonderful talk

[@ericbalboa9408]

Thank you for your wisdom.

[@Sllee93]

31:33 "Now why...do you let anyone control your happiness?" Thank you, Bhante. I needed that.

[@philnewpower]

Thank you so much, for sharing this video on KZbin 🙏🙏🙏

[@7cTube]

Thank you!

[@DebraDKT]

This is my very first time listening to one of ur speeches. I'm hooked I truly love everything that u talked about so much so I sent the link to my husband & daughter. Thank You So Much..... From: The EmpathWarrior To U May All Ur Days Be Filled With Sunshine!!!

[@vtecpreludevtec]

Debra DKT just think,uv got 100 plus to listen too,Metta,Leonard,nz🇳🇿☮👍😂

[@lakshikalalanie4702]

Truly love this speech, and agree with your thoughts. shared this with my fb friends also. Thank you so much.

[@ruthryan1517]

I need to stop blaming my dad for me spending so much time alone; instead I need to focus on the strength I acquired from my Buddhist psychiatrist and therapist and celebrate the car I drive and the money I have been able to obtain that allows me to attend the events where I notice.

[@SandraLovesSun]

That woman's laugh is lovely.

[@lamylamy8388]

People love blaming. They bla bla everything . They blame Buddha . They blame Shangha. They blame other people. They blame themselves. They blame the sun, the moon, the weather... they blame everything.. I hope they and ... myself stop blaming and say thank you to people blaming us because sometimes the bad things happening in our lives drive us to the best things, so why we need to blame... However if somebody blame me for what I didn't do, I will say" I don't do it" then let it go. I try not hi ho hi ho like the donkey :) . Best wishes to you Ajahn Brahm!

[@segersj]

At the end he talks about letting go, and sometimes it's harder than he lets on, but I've found a method that has always worked for me. If you're interested, it's described in MN 20. Hope this helps someone.

[@akakonoha]

PS. The Trump joke is hilarious 😂 (& the donkey story) 💙💙💙

[@NoahNobody]

I've missed AB's talks.

[@srivastm]

साधु साधु साधु

[@shripujasiddamsetty]

Amazing....thank u...I get blamed for things that I havn't done...after they get clarity they get aware of their mistake and but continue to blame....how to deal with the second part

[@juedishi]

They don't want to get blame for blaming you wrongly. So the best way is to continue to blame you. The second blame is to hide their first blame.... Press the "delete" key. Stay safe.

[@stjuartsmills3108]

I can imagine his alternative life- a nice, friendly gay man having a nice social life with his friends somewhere in Sydney, and a nice, similarly shaped partner...

[@maxwellcooper2]

Lol!! Yea, but I don't believe AB is gay. He often refers to old girlfriends he had when he was young before he became a monk.

[@vtecpreludevtec]

Max Cooper in Thai there are the genders,male,female,n monks,if u disrobe u go back to ur previous gender.

[@chamariariyadasa9984]

Ajahn bram how can I stop addictions?

[@poojajasuja]

“Why do you allow other people to control your happiness”

[@martaeyore8234]

yey ur back!!!! that was a long withdrawal. lol

[@vtecpreludevtec]

Marta eyore Imagine sitting in ur kuti for two months practising,wow👍☮😂

[@martaeyore8234]

ya the older I get I love my own company more and more.

[@vtecpreludevtec]

Marta eyore ur never alone u have yourself,Metta😝

[@martaeyore8234]

right. Thanks

[@martaeyore8234]

Hi there. I love his sense of humor about issues. Whenever I am depressed this man makes my day. I like the fact he makes us see things from a different perspective and how people learn from mistakes and grow. Are u a catholic priest? I come from a catholic background. This man was there for me when i was at my lowest point. I use to have bad panic attacks most of my life and meditation was the only remedy that cured me. I don't have any more anxiety which is a miracle.

[@BroccoliRocks]

BSWA Tech People: The video starts "skipping" after 55:30

[@vtecpreludevtec]

BroccoliRocks Dukkha,un satisfaction,metta😂😂😂

[@CarlosFaria]

BroccoliRocks Yep, I'm curious to know how the story about his mother shelf ends up. :-/

[@ALLSTARDECOURO2]

is about gifts he gave her and she filled the shelf, at a point that she couldn't display any new gift and had to throw away the old ones. the shelf is a reference to the mind, that we shouldn't keep the past in mind. so your mind is always fresh and in the present moment a.k.a the latest gift. (he told this history in another talk)

[@lyndaoconnor6228]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@emberkolandawel589]

🙏🏼

[@jvmt8719]

Does anyone know if Ajahn Brahm has talked about the atmosphere of fear, distrust, hatred, and uncertainty created by the result of the US election about two weeks ago? If not, could someone who has his ear please suggest the topic to him? I can't think of anyone who would be better to address this issue. Thanks!

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Joshua Vaudrin-McLean you're a fool. Clinton didn't lose because of hatred. she lost because of bad foreign policy. the bad Iranian deal the TPP, the fact we're backing rebels in Syria that are murdering children just to stick it to Russia because we backed the Ukrainian president who was doing the same thing as Assad and using chemical weapons against his own ppl because clinton took a large donation to her foundation in order to give the Ukrainian president time. maybe do some research instead of believing what the media (that has proven it lies by saying clinton had an 80% chance of winning) tells you.

[@jvmt8719]

Hey, I'm no fan of Clinton. I voted for her very grudgingly, but I really, really wanted Bernie to be the nominee. I know all about her problematic aspects, but considering the classic right-wing hawks that Trump is considering for his cabinet, I'm afraid that unconscionable warmongering was going to happen with either.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Joshua Vaudrin-McLean I just dont understand how you can vote for her when it was shown she cheated Bernie out of the nomination! There are records showing the blatant cheating.

[@miroslawawysocka3329]

Thank you Yoshua in the country of freedom there is no freedom!!!!!Everything is political like in other countries . This what they are talking about freedom is untill you talk like we are is freedom if you talk diferently you are enemy!!!!!!

[@kimberlywheeler8963]

Whitney Dahlin randomly came across this today... 3 years after your original comment... soooo: “How, exactly, does one eat their own words??”

[@rachidsouissi2770]

ajahn: how do you deal with deniers and liars?

[@randomentertainment2325]

Can i know when is the next live feed ?

[@mendebone]

Subscribe to the channel and you get notifications in your feed days in advance. But it's usually friday and saturday mornings.

[@randomentertainment2325]

Mihai V. Thankyou

[@soemoe2872]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 👍👍👍⚖️⚖️⚖️💡💡💡

[@mendebone]

meditation 7:17 talk 38:20

[@erfanm86]

hi! may i know how i can find the guided meditation that was done live stream on friday night November 18? i liked the video during live stream so that i can come back later to it, but the meditation portion of the video was cut and only the dhamma talk is here! will be grateful if anyone can tell me if it was uploaded somewhere! thanks and peace :)

[@acer409]

What if it brings much harm speech cut through blunt yet little benefit shld i exercise such speech? A speech that may bring more harm than that little benefit though it leads to little beneficial shld we exercise such speech?

[@קסניהסידורוביץ]

It’s not nice calling the people in prisons stupid and dumb. It’s quite overwhelming that a man in your position will act this way. Please take this criticism in the most positive way possible.

[@danw918]

I think you are very eager to find fault. Ajahn Brahm was referring to people who believe you can levitate after a couple of Buddhism classes. This was obviously not a generalisation about prisoners. Should we refer to people who try to use Buddhism for criminality, expecting to reversing physics geniuses?

[@markbrad123]

Must have been the dog that farted, ha ha

[@robertw2930]

Trump iusn;t a politican so to speak look at what he did for Carrier employees and Ford staying here also HE IS doing stuff before he is even in office I thought Ajahn would praise his courage and determination towards representing the PEOPLE FOR A CHANGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@cagla7527]

Critic from me: i wish you would't use this plastic flower rubbish for a decore.

[@thisisbob1001]

Donkey story from 9.19