How to Deal with Difficult People at Work

Practical Self Help Workplace Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People. More advice on this in my website www.ammarmango.com
Subscribe at: / ammarmango
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Who is Ammar Mango?
An organizational Consultant & Coach.
Ammar W. Mango, PPM, CSSBB, PgMP, PMP is a Performance Hacker; he helps organizations and individuals improve competitiveness and boost performance.
With a passion to help clients breakthrough and transform into higher levels of performance, Mr. Mango uses practical solutions, based on the latest cutting edge global best practices and technology.
His strong experience in Organizational Development included consulting and coaching for Fortune 100 companies worldwide. Ford Motor, Detroit Edison, and Fermi II Nuclear Plants are among clients Mr. Mango served while in the USA from 1988-2000. He also provided training and consulting to global leaders like Unilever, Saudi Telecom, Zain, Orange, United Nations, in addition to many small and medium businesses and NGOs.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
For more tips & insights VISIT my website: www.ammarmango.com
Also Check out my ONLINE products on: ammarmango.com/shop
Follow Ammar on Twitter: / ammarmango
Connect with Ammar on Linkedin: / amango
Follow Ammar on Facebook: / ammarmango
Subscribe to my channel at: / ammarmango

[@mmodnao]

Thanks for the video. I had to deal yesterday with an uneducated person (rude, agressive). dealing with people that don't have the mental resources to communicate can be quite a challenge.

[@hswpg6423]

Thr internet is filled with 99% of the self doubt material. Thank you for encouraging to fight

[@AmmarMango]

Thank you for your kind words and for encouraging me to help others more :)

[@mississauga0909]

It is unbelievable how a very small group of people can bring down moral in a company. Where I work the best countermeasure to prevent an attack is to keep your mouth shut. It seems some people "thrive". on degrading and making negative comments about others. Where I work it is very hard to get fired and those individuals who wouldn't last anywhere else, bask in the glory of insulting people on a daily basis. It is a real shame because we all have secure, good paying jobs.

[@ClearTheRubble7]

Pretty good advice. After nine years of working for a very difficult boss, I finally tried the "run" strategy (quitting the job), and it was the best decision I could have made. I had been trying the other three strategies, but none of them worked. I discovered that if I took a stand, she would find a way to make me pay. Man, I still have nightmares about her a year and a half later.

[@UnshackledWoman]

i deal with many difficult people at my workplace and these helped. thank you.

[@Martin-vj7zx]

very good content. it helps to understand and to actually see the foundaments. (wesentliche) i dont know the exact correct word in english. so yeah thanks for that, be your own greatest teacher and learn from every person 🌿

[@sieracki001]

If I am attacked I do these things:1) Mention that everyone loves me and I am highly admired.2) Mention that I have a huge amount of experience no one else has in this department.3) Say I am not perfect but I am committed to continuous improvement.4) Say that I take feedback seriously but it is up to me to decide if it's legit.

[@tswain5469]

Wow, the first 2 things you mentioned on how to deal with difficult people is the idea that I should change my attitude. That is not the problem in this instance!!

[@vleeann]

It's so good to hear someone encouraging prayer to God vs. the universe. :-)

[@keeplearning5374]

LeeAnn V Yes...there is only one true Elohim (God) & his Son Yeshua (Jesus) Our Saviour. Elohim in Yeshuas name bless.

[@Marcelube]

Thank you Ammar. Amazing job!,👏👏👏👏

[@RiftmcUs]

These 4 steps were my natural reactions, I didn't even know what I was doing until I saw this video. I went through all 4 in this order, unconsciously, with my difficult classmate. Taking a run and taking a stand are very similar, they both "reject" the problem, but the one big difference is that when I took a stand I stopped worrying about what if, I look at the classmate with confidence and it says "don't take your crap to me because I won't deal with it." Thanks for the vid.

[@flixpods]

Very thoughtfully done...now I know..I need to give a thought and plan before actually reacting to the difficult guy

[@AmmarMango]

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words. Please check my other video on dealing with cunning deceiptful manipulative people

[@chessacts1884]

Thank you for your great ideas! I really like it.

[@chlowean1]

such good advice i will try it out

[@bobbob9364]

I just threatened union action ,seems to have done the trick kick ,I must say though the GM was pretty helpful

[@chessacts1884]

Very interesting, indeed!

[@david020506]

Really nice sort of advices. Thank you!

[@Lvduggo69]

Verry good info ! Thanks. I will let my daughter watch this vid , and I learned a few tips I didn't realize. 5 stars fo u ! This works with all different cultures and we are all pepole. Not like a friend I have that is racist and said , I'm not listening to some Indian guy tell me how to act. We bouth know how far he will go in life. But I tried to help him !

[@TheDrOctopus]

Hmm, ya raised some good points in that presentation. Thanks :)

[@AmmarMango]

If it is a no win, then you have to choose the least losses alternative, but keep your eyes open for other alternatives opening up in the future. A word of caution, We sometimes convince ourselves that we are in a no win situation when we are not. "I either put up with harrassment or get fired." In reality, we usually have room to maneuver" a bit. We might need to look harder to open up our mind for available alternatives. Good Luck

[@abrahamalvarez7099]

Nice thank you.

[@AmmarMango]

@TheMoonprincess09 good question; The short term answer is: if the problem is solved by me getting up and taking care of the customer then do it. help your customer! in general professional cordial empathetic behavior diffuses customer anger. dont take things personally. Long term: if this happens often then something is wrong with the customer service at that department and store manager should handle it. Remember that the customer is always right (one way or the other). Good luck

[@AmmarMango]

@Lvduggo69 Thank you for the kind words. I am glad you found the video useful. I am not Indian by the way. I am a Muslim Arab American.... I am not sure if that will win over your friend :)

[@AmmarMango]

@rickiis Good question. Negative behaviour from your perspective is behaviour that hurts you physically, mentally, or in any other way. As explained in the presentation, this can be a problem with self, not others.

[@sweetsweatyfeet]

Okay but the issue with such a boss is a "no win situation". Sometimes there is no magic answer. I either put up with abuse or I have no job, there is no third alternative. Either way I lose. Sometimes life is like that. I've lived long enough to know that

[@ThePalestine1948]

Very good video, I learnt a lot out of it, Thank you Sir

[@123cano]

Correct my frind, like the old saying goes, if you dont make a plan before you do something, then your plan is to fail. I hope this helps too.

[@AmmarMango]

@RougeEntity Thank you for your encouraging words

[@TheMoonprincess09]

@ammarmango Thanks for your feedback :) My next question is: Co-Workers/Me we are going to pick up our paycheck/shopping in our day off. Customer knows you work there and they star to ask you questions while you are in the store with your children/family/relatives. You are polite and explain it's your day off and they get mad at you and star to curse at you, what would you do?

[@BieNumber1]

Number ONE thing you learn in management is: You CANNOT change other people. The ONLY person you can change is YOURSELF! very, very important. People don't always have problems with you but have to be open to this though. Some people just have problems within themselves and they have the problem.

[@AmmarMango]

@pluto4847 Thank you for sharing. Sounds like you learned a good lesson. not every battle is worth the fight.

[@mississauga0909]

Very good video! These are mostly logical and well thought out tips.. However, when dealing with idiots, remember this, IGNORANCE PREVAILS! This could mean: shaming the other person,or making the other peron uncomfortable ... IGNORANCE PREVAILS when dealing with idiots. (With Peers, not bosses., unless you know you can't get fired. I wish I would have figured this out earlier.

[@AmmarMango]

The same rules still apply. You have to decide whether your best strategy is to run, change your attitude, change their attitude, or take a stand. By the way, sometimes the so called "difficult bosses" are the easiest to manage. It depends in what way they are difficult. I wish you well.

[@AmmarMango]

@mississauga0909 You are right. it becomes worse when this negative group becomes a cult with new "signees" and then the games they play become more important than work. Not an easy situation.

[@twisto]

professor riznek sent me here. UofT prof.

[@sieracki001]

Reporting harrasment will not always stop it. HR is there to protect management. If it is management that is doing the harrasing, beware!!!! If someone is really brazen they probably have the backing of management. They might decide that the bully might get some more feathers by firing you or making your life miserable.

[@AmmarMango]

@andyhan123 It sounds like you handled the situation pretty well. congrats and thank you for sharing.

[@AmmarMango]

@twisto I am glad you came :) U of T as in Toledo? Please send Professor Riznek my regards

[@AmmarMango]

@Liamderoiste Thank you

[@manbob325]

i STill don't understand how to use this in real life.

[@AmmarMango]

@medeirosken Good luck. I know it is not easy, but i can see you are trying to do something about it. Good for you.

[@AmmarMango]

@LysBlanco Thank you

[@luv2bud]

Excellent analysis and breakdown. This can also be applied to family situations. My wife is an abusive, violent psycho bitch. If I run, I lose my son, my house, and almost everything else. If I change my attitude I will be beaten down into a henpecked, pussywhipped nebbish. She is unable to see any problem with her atrocious behavior -- it's all my fault for making her angry by refusing to submit to total control. So, I am left with confronting the shrew. I got an excellent lawyer.

[@levellelinadaniels]

For sho'. 101!

[@AmmarMango]

you are welcome and congratulations for your success managing difficult people using step three, one of my favorite steps :) I posted a new video about a specific personality I call CDM. go to my videos and find one titled "dealing with difficult people - part 2." step three would not work with CDM's for sure. Peace. Ammar

[@AmmarMango]

@ThePalestine1948 you are welcome.

[@AmmarMango]

Here is a way to respond: Next time she is demeaning to you, look hurt. Then, wait until she is not under pressure any more and approach her abotu the specific incident. Do not be generic. do not say "when you are angry, you always do...." instead be specific about the incident and the specific wrong behavior from the boss. Be collaborative in your approach not intimidating. See what happens. Good luck

[@medeirosken]

Very good video. I could not run, I changed my attitude, I tried to change his attitude (he would not budge) I took a stand, I went to the MCAD (Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination) and filed a complaint and now I see his attitude is changing but will it stick.

[@AmmarMango]

I am sorry about your situation. Have they thought about consulting a lawyer to help them get a restraining order ( I am not suggesting they do, i am just asking)? i heard of similar situations where a restraining order was obtained. Good luck.

[@Mogzyx]

@TheMoonprincess09 If it doesn't get physical ignore them, if you fear for you children call an officer.

[@RiftmcUs]

@barbixy Oh, you couldn't. Couldn't this, couldn't that. You know, that's just an excuse. Have you really tried? Why do you always get bullied? Have you considered whether it's something with YOU that makes them want to bully you? Have you taken a stand, ever? Have you stood up to your superiors and told them you don't like being bullied? I used to get bullied, but I changed myself. How, you ask? I went to the gym and buffed up and you know what? Nobody bullied me ever since, they look up to me.

[@hswpg6423]

Reporting to HR will never work. Please advise on how to fight bs with bs

[@Hemanthg7]

I have a question. What to talk to a person as a person like you did with Ken?

[@AmmarMango]

@resumeserviceplus Thank you

[@thomasinacollins8003]

I am having a very serious problem in work with a supervisor telling me she is going to create assault and battery on my. I tried to stay away from her and reported it. Now it is worst and it is escalating .She is a compulsive,liar

[@jyothinagesan5483]

I failed each n every time that I tried to understand a difficult person at work n in family.

[@AmmarMango]

Would you recinsider your statement? Never ever were you able to deal with a difficult person?

[@atomicsnowflake]

I am working with a totally nasty passive aggressive woman at work. She's been there since the year dot and treats many people badly - mainly by giving them the silent treatment. She is just toxic and there is no way of dealing with her as far as I can see. She should be sacked, but the management are scared of her. She's not even in a senior position either - she's a care assistant. I dunno why they don't get rid of her.

[@rextony22]

@BrownEagle7 what does it mean?

[@pluto4847]

@ammarmango I throw in the towell. A co worker has con tributed negative behavior toward me, and I tried all the assertive teqniques and it back fired. He accused me of something I did not do. Luckily, video footage proved my innocence. Needless to say it was an an embarassing situation. I just wanted to die literally. One thing I learned from this ordeal is to just walk away. Instead, we both got final warnings. He got a warning for accusing me falselyt. I was warned because I got mad.

[@Pemmock]

Yo can somebody gimme som tips on this issue i be having at work. This dude mad agressive and always eating some of my lunch or cussing at me when im working. i asked him to stop all this but he beat me up in the parking lot after work real bad and im mad scared because this guy is a convicted criminal and he doesn't afraid of anything and has collection of medieval swords at home, mainly for collection but still don feel gud. I dont know what to do police aint doin shit jo and my boss scared to

[@oglethorpezippelmeier2514]

I tried asking if I had offended a difficult person in any way, and the difficult person screamed at me at the top of its lungs, "I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND, I AM YOUR BOSS!" This was in front of the head of HR, the vice-president, and my boss' boss.

[@PSALMS-oe7ri]

WOW

[@TheMoonprincess09]

Well I don't think that nobody have ever heard of a customer entering the brake room where worker are resting after working 6 hours straight in the store and this person yells and harass employee saying that they should get their you know what out of the chair and help her to find out a price of an item. A person that enter a restricted area, yells a lot and curses at workers what to do if the security or store manager not present? Good one ah?

[@cati101]

I have co worker who seems to be always in a bad mood, whenever she talks to me she talks in a very aggressive tone and is never polite. She calls me out on every little mistake and blames me for things, that are bot even under my control/ responsibility. I already told anorher coworker about this who is somewht of a boss around here and she talkes with my coworker but after only three weeks she changed back. I cannot really tell her how much she hurts me, i am still a trainee. This video helped me amout Ammar- thank you!Do you guys have any other advice or what do you think about my situation?

[@kokseahteo1716]

cati101 top many THEORIES

[@grannysweet]

bear spray when they touch you, wasp spray when they follow you out to the parking lot-just saying.

[@pluto4847]

@laaxe I tried these tips with various bureacracies, and none of it worked. They would not even comment.

[@rickiis]

What is "negative" behavior. It is another label?

[@TheStfu1000]

@raul266 im an elder brother and i've got so annoyed with parents and little brother that ive hit out a few times. maybe the parents or you are annoying him.

[@estebanisswimming]

No its not presuming anything. It presents you the four elementary strategies. There are no other. This is it. A death sentence? Get a grip man. I've had quite a bad position in my previous job. Had to leave (run) Best decision ever.

[@Adazzz101]

few years ago two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to see if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room, the father said "Get the kids and get out of the house, we'll call the police, we don't have a clown statue". The "clown statue" was actually a killer that escaped from jail. If you don't post this on 10 videos tonight the clown will be in your bed at 3:00am with a chainsaw in his hand. Sorry don't want this to happen to me

[@estebansteverincon7117]

This sounds like the guy that sings "Shut up you face" lol

[@dayelgrdm]

@crazzygirl100 I suppose you're a surgery resident...

[@Subatomic1000]

I applaud your efforts, but in the real world, bullies get a slap on the wrist while the ones they torture continue to be abused. The abusers should be given two options: take a class on respecting their co-workers or be fired. That is quite fair and far more merciful than someone stalking the halls with an assault rifle, driven to revenge by a smug bastard who thinks he or she can get away with anything.

[@Lvduggo69]

He's not a true friend annymore ! He was talking shit about chineese people one day , I let him go on and on untill I whiped out my wallet and showed him a pic of my 2 kids that are chineese white Italian and lebenese. This guy is just a self hating rasist. I don't care where u are from. U are a good guy and that's all that matters to me. Peace to u and your family. Salam malakim. I hope I spelled that right. I tried. Thanks.

[@sweetsweatyfeet]

What if the difficult person is you boss and can and will fire your ass at the drop of a hat?

[@AmmarMango]

@crazzygirl100 Him being an ass is not your problem :)

[@7DeuceCutty212]

This whole be nice shit to difficult people is crap!! Difficult people belong on the street homeless and in jail. We ALL live in this screwed up world and all have problems. Check yourself at the front door! Bring your respectful attitude that you had when you interviewed and be professional throughout the day! That’s what you get paid for

[@AmmarMango]

@andyhan123 It sounds like you handled the situation pretty well. congrats and thank you for sharing.