How to deal with toxic people... | Buddhism In English Q&A

[@goo2286]

You can’t control what or how others treat you, but you can control yourself how to respond. Toxic people are not worth for your words, walk away or ignore them. Your silence is the best answer to them.

[@proactwin]

Master superb thank you

[@kazhalai8133]

Forgive me for sharing this view please, because I feel, so many of us know these truths from Buddha teachings, but we overlook to acknowledge 🙏 Whatever that happens outside of us, is what's within us, it's universal law to reflect what we may feel we have healed, but if any not so good behaviours show up, it's like a check up to remind us and envisage our reaction to give clarification if we have healed or still need to work on healing. I hope I make sense please 🙏 I feel, it is for us to thank the energies of the person who have behaved in a not so good manner so that globally we can vibrate to heal those energies in them too, so they don't have to behave in such ways to hurt others, but also heal the ones who are affected as pain is just a part of a thought that looks in the perceptions of each's own experiences. Thank you 🙏

[@genedbest5790]

So true

[@jasminesarahalexander]

Somehow I don't understand this point of view. We can control how ppl treat us. When unjust or toxic ppl are treated assertively, they will stop treating us like like that or be more cautious. Some sick ppl need to be ignored, but most will respond to assertiveness.

[@goo2286]

@@jasminesarahalexander the point here is you want to live in peace and happy and not to lower yourself to the same level of toxic or bad people treated you. Bad people do bad things to you doesn’t mean you do bad things back to them. They don’t deserve your words or time, walk away is best solution. By the way, control yourself is already difficult, it’s impossible to control others. May you live in peace and happy!

[@greatTVfXQchiel]

"Sometimes, toxic people can be found in our family." This hits me so hard.

[@concepcion8841]

Always

[@Crimsonblushag]

Sigh So true

[@vasanthar4533]

True, alwaz

[@favouritemusic8959]

Sadly so true. I am surrounded by them. Heaven and the Budda help me.

[@caeleeschoeman2340]

hit a little too close to home

[@genvillarante8728]

I am not Buddhism... but i love this teaching. if you love your self you wont your self get angry...

[@robbieanderson227]

If people disrespect you, give them The gift of missing you

[@carolcasey5441]

Nicky put. Thank you ♥️ Nicely put, that is 💕♥️

[@srividhyaks8771]

Yes..we have to do only this..

[@AniAnindita-6]

😅

[@preette2773]

They never miss u.. because they are not kind of that person

[@sharonvargas1756]

Nice one luv this ❤

[@dr.risha_govind]

Note to self 6:00 smile, never show your anger 6:48 weak people express anger 7:30 be the best version of yourself 9:07 don't try to prove them wrong 9:43 stay silent 10:30 love yourself Thank you for this wonderful video 🙏

[@rafsanbhuiyan]

Thank you Dr. For documenting the teachings in short bullets 🙏🏽 I’ll write this down on my personal journal

[@sumakp3757]

Ys that's very true

[@GigiEtienne]

Weak ppl express anger? Hmmm

[@brysonmartin]

@@GigiEtienne Yeah i also feel kinda weird about that one. Like shouldn't a healthy person acknowledge all their emotions?

[@lavintella]

@@GigiEtienne Expressing anger is not the same as feeling anger. We can feel angry without acting on it.

[@singha6]

“If you need to prove them wrong, don’t get angry with them- prove them wrong by your success!” “Toxic people come to you to get your anger, so don’t provide that anger!” Good advice

[@HarriramB]

He s my boy friendk

[@shirektft6055]

Not talk Not react Not show your angry Not show your sad face Only listen --> You Not receive toxics --> They keep toxic !!

[@ranc1977]

"Prove them wrong with your success, not with your words."

[@shreyasreenath9197]

@@ranc1977 what if we r not intelligent or smart enough to be successful in life , then what is the solution in life ?

[@ranc1977]

​@@shreyasreenath9197 "what if we r not intelligent or smart enough to be successful in life" Then you need to redefine the definition of success. And also you need to realize concept called "External reference locus of control" where herd mentality, or groupthink is forcing you to believe what is success. The world is full of paradoxes, biases, double binding which means there is no absolute truth unless unkind or violent - there is no generally accepted truth. If you allow other people to define truth for you - you will lose your self worth, you will lose your identity and you will develop toxic shame and mental instability - since society will give you contradictory messages how to manage, handle and make decisions in life. Remember the donkey story - where other citizens condemn and criticize man and woman riding the donkey. Whatever they do with the donkey: ride on it, walk by it, carry it - there will always be criticism and mocking and dissatisfaction coming from other people. Being kind and treating people with respect even when they do not deserve it, does not take much IQ, and that is successful in itself.

[@shreyasreenath9197]

@@ranc1977 I need to practice it from today with lots of patience . thank you @ranc 1

[@ranc1977]

@@shreyasreenath9197 Yeah, when you understand this, it will make earthquake shifts inside ourselves. For starters, we will become aware how many toxic people we attracted in our lives, it will be like awakening from coma or hypnosis, and - natural consequence will be cutting contact with many of them. This also include making new contacts or reinforcing old ones, which are more healthier. Up next are toxic habits. And it will be coming up with new radical ideas which may entail many changes - for the better. This is what will happen when our self worth is inside us and we are focused on it as oppose to other people's opinions and orders and criticism.

[@carolking6355]

What a beautiful person. I have two toxic people in my life. They have caused me a lot of stress. I am very old and have had beautiful lifelong friends who sadly all passed now. I have never come across this situation before and this program has encouraged me enormously. Thank you so much, you kind and gentle man.

[@carolinesmith9289]

age just a number if u young inside I have very toxic hatefull someone my gift to him silence because he's pure evil for so many years

[@wendyali1744]

I love your stories

[@haridas005]

❤

[@rubytuesday7653]

🌿💛❇️💛🌿

[@rubytuesday7653]

It's been two months. Has your stress disappeared ?

[@susankingston8654]

Don't give them what they expected to get. Calmness is a marvellous virtue.

[@ronelavassal6616]

Thanks very much for this information. 👏

[@sleepers123]

True. Such a shame it's not one of mine. It's honestly my biggest struggle. It sounds so easy, doesn't it?

[@maxxx.da.ripperr6663]

Toxic people dominate and degrade me…. I love it 🔥🌈🤭🤭😘

[@jmum189]

People need to learn not to give a shit lol

[@evolveyourself9518]

Sociopaths and narcissists use "calmness" and a soft voice to manipulate and to control, and to play innocent in order to blame the real victim.

[@keepitreal1547]

Walking away from toxic people is a therapeutic step forward & positive. No words need to be exchanged, just a letting go, is all that's needed. You'll only know how great the feeling is, once you do it.

[@wendyali1744]

Thankyou

[@natashaaveda8954]

I agree completely & live by this 🙏

[@sakshibagga3771]

Yes walking away is a solution but what if they start triggering you. How can we let go everytime?

[@nicoledevereaux2081]

@@sakshibagga3771 it’s hard, so hard, but not impossible. The more you practice, the easier it will get. Don’t beat yourself up for slipping up, just commit to trying again the next time. Something that helped me was asking myself if I wanted this person to have power over me, because when someone gets a reaction out of you, that is their power over you. Nobody treating you poorly should get that power. Besides, what they want is to get a rise out of you, so by not reacting or by walking away, you completely remove their power over you, you deny them what they want, and, most importantly, you are protecting your peace. ❤️‍🩹 You got this!

[@Leo-bm7vb]

how I walk away from super toxic mother/brother-in-law?

[@rebeccahenderson7761]

So glad I watched this again! This is now at the top of my Health folder.

[@cactusray3368]

I think it's helpful to remember that at some point in all of our lives, we have manifested toxic behavior. This humble realization can allow one to develop true empathy and compassion. That being said, one should try to remove oneself from abusive situations when possible.

[@KitaKatt1988]

True! Also you can manifest toxic behavior just from the environment and/or people around you! Please don’t always point the finger at yourself! As the culprit

[@paolamura3497]

Yes

[@valeriemarott1923]

Wow! This is so true and humbling. Wise words for those of us on the journey.

[@elisabethcrokaerts1980]

absolutely true.

[@hsd287]

I don't think so only those who think they are too great turn out to be toxic I have never done anything toxic so far

[@dilshanwijerathna4561]

ඔබ වහන්සේට මේ ජීවිතයේදීම උතුම් චතුරාර්ය සත්‍ය අවබෝධ කර ගැනීමට වාසනාව ලැබේවා 🙏🙏🙏

[@isurusandeepa8493]

🙏❤

[@elizabethvarghese5511]

എന്താണ് ചതുർഭുജ സത്യങ്ങൾ

[@chathurakapuge]

Dukkha, Samudaya, Nirodha & Marga. The Four Noble Truths They are the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. More simply put, suffering exists; it has a cause; it has an end; and it has a cause to bring about its end.

[@KGB1776]

@@elizabethvarghese5511 The Four Noble Truths are central teachings in Buddhism that outline the nature of suffering and the path to its cessation. They were the first teachings given by the Buddha after his enlightenment. 1. Dukkha: The Truth of Suffering - **Understanding Dukkha**: The first noble truth is often summarized as "life is suffering," but this is an oversimplification. Dukkha encompasses not only overt suffering like pain and sorrow but also a more subtle dissatisfaction that pervades all forms of life due to impermanence. Even joy and happiness are seen as dukkha because they are impermanent and eventually lead to suffering when they cease. - **Types of Dukkha**: Traditionally, dukkha is categorized into three types: 1. **Dukkha-dukkha**: The suffering of suffering. This refers to obvious suffering and pain. 2. **Viparinama-dukkha**: The suffering of change. This refers to the suffering caused by the change, such as the loss of loved ones or the end of pleasure. 3. **Sankhara-dukkha**: The suffering of conditioning. This is a more subtle form of suffering that arises from our mental formations and attachments, even in the absence of overt pain or change. ### 2. Samudaya: The Truth of the Cause of Suffering - **The Role of Desire**: The second truth identifies desire or craving as the root cause of suffering. This includes not just desires for pleasure but also the desire for existence or non-existence. - **Three Types of Desire**: 1. **Kama-tanha**: Craving for sensual pleasures. 2. **Bhava-tanha**: Craving for existence, or becoming. 3. **Vibhava-tanha**: Craving for non-existence, or cessation. ### 3. Nirodha: The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering - **Achieving Nirvana**: The cessation of suffering is achieved by extinguishing tanha (craving). Nirvana, the ultimate goal of Buddhism, is a state of liberation and freedom from suffering. It's described as a state of peace and release where there is no more craving, aversion, or delusion. ### 4. Magga: The Truth of the Path to the Cessation of Suffering - **The Noble Eightfold Path**: This is the practical guideline to ethical and mental development with the goal of freeing the individual from attachments and delusions; it leads to understanding the truth of all things. It is often divided into three core sections: 1. **Wisdom (Panna)**: - Right View: Understanding the Four Noble Truths. - Right Intention: Commitment to ethical and mental self-improvement. 2. **Ethical Conduct (Sila)**: - Right Speech: Speaking truthfully and kindly. - Right Action: Acting in non-harmful ways. - Right Livelihood: A non-harmful occupation. 3. **Mental Discipline (Samadhi)**: - Right Effort: Cultivating positive states of mind. - Right Mindfulness: Being aware and mindful of thoughts, feelings, and actions. - Right Concentration: Developing deep concentration through meditation. ### Practical Application To apply these truths in one's life, one begins with understanding and accepting the reality of suffering and its cause. Practicing mindfulness and meditation helps in observing one's mind and reducing attachments and aversions. Ethical living strengthens this practice by minimizing harm to oneself and others, creating a supportive environment for spiritual growth. The Eightfold Path is not necessarily sequential; it's a holistic practice where progress in one area can support growth in others. By walking this path, one gradually uproots the causes of suffering, leading to greater peace, liberation, and enlightenment.

[@ckrarichan5507]

What is chathurbhuja (4 side) truth, please

[@Simonlazarus-n3u]

I'm Christian but I always love listening to the wonderful Buddhist teachings❤

[@MustAfaalik]

@user. Yes, both Buddha & Jesus taught loving kindness. And when we view the world & respond to it from a spiritual perspective we are protected by the Dhamma.❤

[@MakeSomeNoisePlaylists]

Christianity is a stupid ancient "religion" ! Buddism is a philosophy....can follow that my lil barinwashed victim ?

[@shubhamjauhari1968]

I am a big fan of Buddha's teachings because it not only soothes me but calms my mind and body. His teachings develop a sense of positivity not only around but also in my own aura. Sharnam buddham ghachami 🙏🏼

[@kalpanikaushalya2948]

I am so proud to hear when someone praises our lord buddha.he is above all the gods and brahmas in this universe.thank you for mentioning good about our lord Buddha.

[@carolnahigian9518]

what about a WADDDLING TORNADO Woman huge ranting irate woman!

[@jamesdegois8985]

@@stepstoknowinggod PM

[@jamesdegois8985]

@@kalpanikaushalya2948 I’m

[@petronilobuan4648]

Smiling and looking at the toxic person! From Gautama Buddha k!

[@clairewillatt1510]

I am loving the lessons from Buddha, I'm dealing with toxic people in my life now. This is a good lesson.

[@stepstoknowinggod]

Claire Willatt. If you want to learn and understand more about God’s Word in depth. Listen to this podcast titled, Steps To Knowing God It’s available on all podcast platforms and it will help you grow spiritually. Blessings

[@suecastillo4056]

@@stepstoknowinggod it’s my understanding Buddha is not god… sooo what are you promoting?? Just curious what your message is here…

[@stepstoknowinggod]

@@suecastillo4056 exactly! Buddha is not God and will never be God. Am promoting the the true and living God. The creator of the heavens and earth.

[@hissyfitz7890]

@@suecastillo4056 - ❤️ your ‘SILENCE’.

[@s_r1705]

@@stepstoknowinggod omg Bible basher

[@catherinechia4843]

Master, i am a Catholic, I learnt this afternoon from my lady colleague, that a male colleague, who is new, made false allegation against me etc etc. The interesting part of me is, I didn’t feel anything, like anger, hurt etc. because I know the Lord is with me. I also remember your sharing, always smile

[@nyverdaletabletop1674]

Are you really though?

[@margarettownsley9500]

I’ve suffered with serious toxic people all my life it’s only very recently I’ve opened my eyes to protect myself by cutting myself off from them thank you for your video

[@larad8098]

Smiling at angry, toxic , screaming ppl can be dangerous in certain situations. Your smile- no matter how positive- can be misinterpreted as arrogance and sarcasm, and the situation can easily escalate

[@ushasingh2414]

Lara D true

[@freeguy3751]

I knew i felt uneasy about his advice, and you articulated it well why. These are impossible standards to meet to be completely unphased by a dude screaming at you.

[@krazyoldkatlady192]

The message is not that you should smile at angry people. It’s that you shouldn’t let their anger and harsh words in your head.

[@carollund8251]

Yes, I love what he says but I have to agree with that. I vividly remember one time i decided to try not to hear what my husband was screaming at me, just be positive and smile..he got so angry I had to run out of the house and hide in the woods. I guess the advice is good if you sre dealing with normal people, but not with batshit crazy ones.

[@hissyfitz7890]

100% correct! “WIPE that SMILE off your face or I’ll do it for you!” Have been blessed with times when people were ‘blame shifting’ or ‘shame dumping’ on me & was instantly able to see that it was THEIR ISSUE & my silent look was one of curiosity on many levels.

[@tourwithani1811]

I have a lot of toxic people in my life and most of the time if someone yells at me I yell at them but now I learned that I should be positive in front of bad people after watching your video, thank you❤❤❤❤

[@NickCooper74]

This is a wonderful teaching and very timely for me. Peace to all who hear this teaching. May all beings be free from suffering. 🙏☸️

[@patwosu3442]

Great advice, 🙏

[@nickdean7205]

So true but easier said than done

[@SoMe47-47]

🙏❤

[@xaviergregory7876]

This is practical advise. When somebody is yelling at you or abusing you, it is his problem, not yours. Just think that something is wrong with them....he is suffering from some issues...

[@usharavikumar2557]

Good advice. I dont smile I dont talk but keep quiet . But it takes on my health.

[@tansuee7757]

Ten Wholesome Ways 1. No killing 2. No stealing 3. No sexual misconduct 4. No lying 5. No abusive speech 6. No slander 7. No enticing speech 8. No greed 9. No anger and 10. No ignorance/delusion/attachment

[@rabbitcreative]

11. Be vegan.

[@adavanja5682]

That would go against point #1. Plants are living beings.

[@globe2555]

@tansuee7757 What do you mean by No sexual misconduct?

[@johnwi-l_l-iamsf3763]

@@globe2555 lol, raping or misconducting with other humans , except ur accepted partners .. it's for lay men , afterall monks don't have partners but eventhey can misconduct , so simply as that ... it's to remove ur lust ..

[@harmonicohm]

@@rabbitcreative That should be on the top of the list Veganism is the future

[@rajanigurung8885]

Your smiling face and silence is answer for those toxic people nice sermon. Never provide them what they want 👏

[@naturesmiracle6187]

I am suffering from toxic people,i saw this video and this video totally teaches me how to stay away from toxic people and now I am feeling better. My mind feels relaxing 😊

[@daindedricks798]

❤

[@lindavezina6224]

My 42yr old daughter is mean.My anxiety is so bad because of the games she plays. She is vindictive towards me. My anxiety is so bad.And she lives inside me.There is no getting away

[@suedeundara8766]

@@lindavezina6224my children could be like that when they are stressed out. They are weak, understand their situation, be kind to them instead , be strong. They may have a chemical imbalance too which may need medical management but its hard to get them to go to a psychiatrist for their own future endeavors.

[@nishikantghalame1108]

@@lindavezina6224 do vipassana maditation 10 days course .

[@Alessandra-b4a]

I have always justified toxic people.. I believe toxic people are just victims of their own stories, experiences, decisions etc. But I came to the point where instead of letting them draining me, my happiness and my energies I put a distance with them, to me that’s the way to love them but to love myself too

[@vasanthar4533]

I so much agree n believe the same, it'll not easy though, but I try as much possible.. Coz of course I distance myself Or nott even enter that place, but the thoughts are there in mind which somewhere hurts me badly.. But still I try to avoid such people.. And keep telling them in mind.. God bless you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@meghakapoor4699]

So true they are projecting their own fears on us !

[@greatTVfXQchiel]

"That's the way to love them but to love myself, too." Thank you for this. ❤

[@KitaKatt1988]

It is not your job to save anyone and you will be go down with them if you try to save them! This isn’t Christianity which is the point lol

[@KitaKatt1988]

Everyone is basically in a 3-foot deep kiddy pool choosing to drown and refuse to just stand up and stop drowning

[@matildarosebroadway7558]

Just wanted to leave a comment for this buddhist monk, thankyou. Your videos have helped me so much with my depression and anxiety, in such a very short time. I appreciate you sharing your teachings with all of the world 🌎 ❤

[@TheJourneycalledLife_]

Are you incorporating buddhist wisdom more in your life?

[@tharaquotes11]

ධර්මය මේ ආකාරයට මුලු ලෝකයටම ප්‍රචාරනය කරන ආකාරය දැක්කම සතුටු කදුලු එනවා...

[@jaikrishnanjai7858]

❤️Budhisam ❤️ is not a religion ❤️it is Culture of uplifting life values ❤️ peace ❤️calm ❤️ happiness ❤️ Life ❤️❤️love u supreme BUDDHA ❤️❤️..

[@KitaKatt1988]

It is a philosophy which encourages you to dig down and find and apply your own philosophy ❤

[@varunijayathilake7306]

It is not a religion but a universal truth or in other way the greatest philosophy created by the greatest philosopher the Buddha

[@anthonyangelis1094]

This is great. Reminds me of the saying that anger is a poison you want to give to others , but you end up drinking yourself.

[@patgiogi1291]

This is so true … I recently did this to a violent man that is used to deal with people in a bad way. He kept silence after I said to him: I’m so full of joy that nothing can’t disturb the peace inside of my soul

[@emanuellerene307]

powerful words

[@rruwanweerasinghe4482]

Was he really a violent person??

[@patgiogi1291]

@@rruwanweerasinghe4482 yes … it was, unfortunately

[@in_vino_veritas7938]

Oh I love that! Well done 🙂 Edit: in how you handled it. I hope you're not around that person anymore and are safe

[@OldSchoolBaller]

Makes sense, when I'm angry, I can't see or hear, but my mouth is going 100mph... Silence is the key. I must practice this technique. Thank you kind person

[@TheChillDil]

This video reminds us that we have the power to choose how we respond to toxic people and situations. By cultivating inner peace and focusing on our own growth, we can create a positive ripple effect and potentially even inspire positive change in those around us.

[@taylordottie5858]

Words of wisdom. I have toxic neighbors who used to really make me angry and sad. But I liked your advice to never let them see your angry/sad face because thats giving them what they want! Namaste

[@antinatalist9995]

Me too; I was offered mediation, but I thought that once they know for sure the impact of their behaviour, that will encourage them to continue.

[@seles_sohal]

Wow it helped me so much. Yesterday, I faced this situation at work where it was not my mistake still some1 scold at me. I tried to explain myself first but the person kept on blaming me. Then I said sorry. Coming back home I was disturbed & thinking why I didn’t reply differently. But You said it right sometimes Silence is the best answer.

[@jehan_7550]

I'm here again listening to you. I seriously appreciate you very much. Your videos help me so much to become better. Namo budhaya 🙏❤️🇵🇭

[@senavirathnabanda7662]

පින්වත් ස්වාමීන් වහන්සේට මාගේ නමස්කාරය වේවා !!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼May triple gem bless ,everybody who listened this great dhamma...🙏🙏🌼🌼

[@whatsupdoc5861]

I was a Christian for 30 years . Till I discovered that if the kingdom of God is within us….. we must go within through meditation . So grateful that I was lead to discover this truth !

[@nicholaskearney678]

Good one mate. Charles Bukowski and Allan Watts, will remind you, you are a miracle, a God. Hoe amazing life is .. 'aroha' from New Zealand. Nicko

[@cherylkeys1284]

I heard the saying that prayer is you talking to the universe and meditation is the universe talking to you. I find listening to be preferable to talking.

[@hissyfitz7890]

@@cherylkeys1284 - Well ‘SAID’.

[@yardleyj9391]

Same here. Namaste.

[@maxxx.da.ripperr6663]

I like this Mexican Buddhist

[@TheRolex372]

May Almighty God bless this monk ❤️🙏

[@trinhhampton1492]

Thank you Iam dealing with my whole toxic family ..Iam too scared to get any news from them .. it’s alway stressful thing and troubles time after time for 20 year.. And they expect me to take care of thier problems and finances.. Just like it’s my job and responsibility for all of them .. I live my family a lot but they treat me like dirt and no respect to me .. I have enough of them .. I cut the contact with them and living happily ever after .. They will never change and I feel hurt for a long line time until I recognize they all toxic to me ..and they all selfish ..

[@jyotiiAJatia]

So true, I wish we could get away from toxic relationships, but they are a result of our own karmic accounts with them. It is better to finish the accounts in this life itself so that there is hope to get harmonious happy people in next life. For me there is no escape...so, I drown myself in spiritual activities and knowledge. It gives a lot of solace .

[@denisecaparn5400]

I've same problem but trying t escape

[@angelicanu1111]

Keeping silence n bursting with tears ..why can't people love n care as we do..why they don't see that they are hurting someone's feelings..😭

[@qhamkiletobo6235]

Thank you very much your beautiful words healing me, I'm in a toxic situation I cry every day under my blankets, I hope one day God will take me out of this situation I'm facing right now.

[@SaritWorld]

There is so much love and kindness in your eyes that I find you incredible healing. Thank you for helping us. So appreciate.

[@michaeldavis6485]

Yea this is very true its 2023 so far I've been letting go of toxic people and family members and neighbors in my neighborhood so I've been ignoring toxic people now I'm focusing on my big goals and dreams in my notebook and been doing meditation for 5 years I learn everyday and been getting better of making me happy everyday 😎👍🏽

[@sweetysonylall1784]

🙏🙏 kzbin.info/www/bejne/a2XRiYiilJmKkJY

[@simonemerdanovic5683]

He doesnt have to talk when i see him smile i feel immediately calm and peacfull...

[@robertholman9743]

What the world needs is more love and kindness ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

[@jcmagnus]

Intelligence

[@maleeshasewwandi1539]

බොහොම පින් ස්වාමින්වහන්ස මේ වටිනා ධර්ම කරුණු කියලා දෙනවට.......

[@isurusandeepa8493]

🙏❤

[@shirohkimani7108]

What a session!! I have always reacted horribly when attacked or treated badly. Now i know the wise to handle that. Many thanks

[@10thAngel]

Thanks. I needed this today. I have a student (im a teacher) who is very toxic. This was a lovely lesson.

[@explorer.samrat]

People don't have the power to hurt us. The emotion of hurt is created by us alone. This is the essence of Stoicism as well. 😊🙏🏻

[@karthik0999]

Life changing words 'If you have done mistake correct it, otherwise leave it behind dont care about that'.

[@paulapatterson4301]

When I became a student of Vipassana, that story of the Buddha was shared with us. I loved it. Thank you so much. Thank you for words of truth.

[@yvonnegithiri602]

Thank you... I have been surrounded by toxic people my whole life😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒but I grateful to those who still make me happy in different ways....🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[@suedeundara8766]

I am a Buddhist but I have never come across anybody/preist explaining like this. I learned in Buddhist history, he him self explained with lot of loving kindnes, gentle smile. I always wished I had the chance of meeting him. But this priest has some way of penetrating our mind. I come down in tears. Thank you to you, helping me and many more, I am reading the comments. I sent your videos to my family members and loved ones.

[@sarahelkayam3234]

Thank you for this video. I prefer not to think of the problem as "toxic people" but to think of it as toxicity in people in general. Most people aren't toxic people, but many are capable of toxic behaviors sometimes and it's important to know how to deal with that when it happens.

[@lynnlegault9297]

I love this.

[@chuckmaddison2924]

I love the teaching of Buddha. For a long time now I have picked up spiders and put back in the garden.

[@keinname62]

I love the Buddhas lesson. If you don’t accept their anger, it is theirs. Just helped me in a really though situation.

[@RD-rz1ou]

When I see this there, I feel he is so happy to teach us Buddhism and also he is a smiling thero.

[@nancyparena1685]

Totally agree...been experienced with my neighbor just listening for their lies and just smile at them every time we see each other☺️Namo Buddhaya!

[@jacksonwoodburne]

'an angry man shuts his eyes and ears and opens his mouth'........gratitude for this learning

[@NJGuy1973]

There's a saying at 12 step meetings: "Take the cotton out of your ears, put it in your mouth, take the tape off your eyes, put it over your lips."

[@achillessparta2340]

Great advice! Remember folks you have to practise this for a long time before you get good at it in every situation.

[@jesjes2500]

This video absolutely helped me so much right now. I have a toxic family. Thank you so much and I hope that this video keeps reaching people🥺❤

[@angelsraziellaino6122]

I understand you, I feel you.

[@LakshmiSharma-g5o]

"Prove them wrong with your success not your words "wow what a line❤❤❤

[@smithaa1078]

Thank you Swamiji! Passing through a very turbulent phase in my life and perhaps this is one lesson I needed at this time. Don’t deal with toxicity with equal vigor that it is hurled upon us.

[@ramesanmampatta2727]

True

[@darshans6241]

Actually I thought people around me will understand me and help me in tough times. Now after knowing abt toxic people and experimenting it practically I found that 99% of people around me r very toxic. These many days I was expecting some support from them but now I understood no one will support me. I have to support myself. Thank you Sir for ur lectures. I will constantly hear ur lectures.

[@esmeraldablossom]

I like that Buddha approach to deal with negative people. When you react to people’s wrongdoing you get matters worse for yourself. Treat them with kindness, even if your ego is hurting inside and wants to retaliate, do not allow that ego to act, the outcome will be much better.

[@rangikahemachandra4878]

I always try to keep silent when dealing with toxic situations with those people but acting is very hard and complicated when expressing our inner feelings within our facial expressions. I think I have to more practice to improve my mentality to be strong. Thank you very much for your valuble thoughts .....🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@u.k.athikkal1560]

Great ! I had been listening to different versions of this story. But the way you explained is fantastic and made me listen to your talk again. I am aware when I get angry and realise it exposes my weak mind. Hence in the process of acquiring that state of compassion, self-love, calmness and positivity. Thank you on this Guru poornima Day!

[@tamilarasigovindan4090]

True

[@tempesnyder6243]

I am a believer in keeping silent when I deal with the toxic person in my life. You see, when he is abusing me verbally, I have found that by reacting, no matter how innocently, like sometimes I have said I didn’t do that it’s not my fault. You see saying that always makes him say more rude things to me. So ifHe says rude things to me, I usually just sit and innocently listen to his crap. I have tried to defend myself, and he never listens to my self-defense or supports me in any way when he is being abusive.

[@ifyoudontlike4913]

👏🏾👏🏾

[@cinderelly2592]

Yes me too. It’s so hard when it’s your family hurting you. I also am working on this. Not reacting.

[@zunajana1314]

Greetings from Slovakia. Thank you for your valuable presentations enabling people to change their lives in positive way.

[@elisangelacastello4702]

“If you love yourself, you will never allow yourself to be angry. And if you can love yourself you can love others. “ True point. Thank you 🙏.

[@cutechiangels]

Thx for the teaching. Which I very well know, for a long time. I've done this so many times in my life, even way before I knew about the teaching. Being a very compassionate person and an empath, it's natural to me. Alas, I haven't experienced any positive reactions by just smiling, or asking that question. Maybe it may work with mild anger. It absolutely doesn't work with a narcissist, nor a pervert. Angry people don't listen. Never. You can't tell them a story !! They need to be stopped in their tracks. And the best way I have experienced is, after trying to calm things down, smiling etc., they are worse, I had to send them back their anger in kind of the same mode they did. Alas. It demands very much from me, but at least they diminish or stop, and I'm not full of their hate. If one lets someone just go on and on, and just smiling or saying nothing, or wanting to discuss, forget it! It's going to escalate. That's just a fact, out of experience. I wish it were different. And even when the person is calmed down, the story is maybe heard, but later not applied. Anger comes from way further, deep down. And needs intense therapy to get that into grip. But, anyway, it's always nice listening to Buddha's teachings! At least for inner peace. 🙏🌸

[@RebekahCurielAlessi]

Oh!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! 🙇‍♀️ I have been having seemingly insurmountable problems for 2 years with a toxic neighbor with no resolution. I am going to practice this because clearly, my complaining, while more than justified solves or has solved nothing.... 💮

[@ymfg9004]

Yes, I agree with all you say except for smiling at an angry person. Lord Buddha has the clairvoyance and wisdom to see what would happen but most of us have not yet attained that quality. Smiling at a very angry person can serve as trigger to make them more angry and perhaps physically violent towards us because they feel we are looking down and laughing at them. I think the smile should come after their anger is diffused. Loving kindness and compassion are always the answer.

[@vishwasvishu9322]

I have got much and more power to control our anger by listening this story Thank You Sir

[@samanthadealwis6283]

We have to live with toxic people. Noble lessons for us. Many thanks 🙏🙏🙏

[@dulakshisilva6940]

Just wached a one video, then start to get so many lessons from this channel, Appreciate & Thankyou soo much sharing such lessons with buddhism. Namo buddaya🙏🙏🙏

[@julietstephen6130]

Toxic people always been updated in my life dealing with them is a big issue. Thank you this Buddhism teaching relief me a lot..tho" Iam a Catholic it doesn't matter at all..

[@siobhanmassarella3914]

People can throw the ball at you but you don't have to catch it...and then throw it back.... you can simply allow the ball to fly straight past you as though it was never even thrown (as its had no effect on you whatsoever)! Sending peace and love to all ♥️

[@sleepers123]

Yeah....what if the ball hits you in the eye, breaks your glasses and you need medical attention. Pay it no mind, just smile, it's just a toxic ball in your face.

[@greatTVfXQchiel]

This. Thank you. 😊

[@illuminatedsoles331]

What happens when that ball smashes you in the face while unaware of it in front of many familiar people who laugh hysterically aiming to humiliate you?

[@HeavenlyLights]

Wow❤

[@derekgiesbrecht-xp5yc]

So much wisdom here, said so peacefully, I am blown away!

[@chinmayeesamal7147]

You are right. Love and kindness are more important than anger.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

beneath anger lies grief

[@BuildYourPerch]

thank you so much for doing this video on how to deal with toxic people. the best tip you gave me here is to visualize a successful interaction with my parents so i can play it out. Not accepting anything less than i deserve will be my fail-safe tool. so thank you and I wish you and everyone good health and happiness!

[@riyaanan1230]

This video, these words you have given, have helped me alot. I'm struggling with a person whom is mentally ill having grudges towards me, husband and my son. I have to dela with hers constant hatred, cursing words, anger behaviour all the time. There have been few times where I have to deal with her also by words and end up hurting myself for a very long period of time. It takes a very long time for me to forget. But, your advice gives me light for this problem. The best part is" don't receive their treat". A smile and a strong positive attitude is what all I need to deal with this person. I love myself so much that I'm not going to give any more chances for toxic people to teat me down. Thank you so much for this wonderful video.

[@doramendonca3960]

Best counselor ever. Thank you sooo much 🙏🙏🙏🙏💐💐💐 we need this type of eye opening thoughts every now amd then to check on ourselves.. 🙏🙏🙏

[@Ddych81]

I was literally in this moment about an hour ago. And the treatment and words I received was hard for me to hear and be treated as such. I prayed so hard in my mind I wanted to cry from the hurt but I made it guy’s

[@stepstoknowinggod]

Dionna. If you want to learn and understand more about God’s Word in depth. Listen to this podcast titled, Steps To Knowing God It’s available on all podcast platforms and it will help you grow spiritually. Blessings

[@dionysiospomonis4808]

Buddha means happiness.!.. .

[@sonamtsheringeden3699]

You did it and you are the real diciple of lord Buddha

[@RebekahCurielAlessi]

Aw! Congratulations! I truly relate!! 🫂

[@philosophyoflife7929]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iX-Um4uAq9pmZ6s

[@saigowtam2266]

This speech gave me relaxation and I will remember forever Every day I come across so many lack of commonsense people

[@ROYALROCKETRONIN]

Thank you sooo much for this !!! The timing of this video is perfect, as I just found another job and quit my job. My boss is soooo toxic and such a bully 😭😭😭. I did the integrous thing and gave my 2 weeks notice….and my boss bullied me, took all my hours away from me, told me to just start my new job early…..and then when I asked when I could pick up my paycheck he said I was starting drama. ?????!!!!!! . I’m so glad that Buddhism offers guidance and wisdom on how to peacefully deal with toxic people. I will just be collecting my paycheck and moving onto a much better job. Thank you for this timely video. ❤️🪷

[@LoveYouEnglishLessons]

In the morning 🔆, I just love listening to him. Simple yet productive.

[@stepstoknowinggod]

Love you English lessons. If you want to learn and understand more about God’s Word in depth. Listen to this podcast titled, Steps To Knowing God It’s available on all podcast platforms and it will help you grow spiritually. Blessings

[@philosophyoflife7929]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iX-Um4uAq9pmZ6s

[@deeannabratton9991]

I love the sound and tenor of his voice - very relaxing and calmness enters you.

[@MindfulExplorations-op7bg]

This is fantastic. Loved the accompanying music also. Not too loud not too soft and not too busy. Much appreciated.

[@maryloudelossantos1624]

The teachings are powerful. Silence is powerful. Compassion is great! Thank you for the good pieces of advice.

[@philosophyoflife7929]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iX-Um4uAq9pmZ6s

[@sonamtsheringeden3699]

Whenever I get hurt or angry or down I just open your channel and calm myself... you proved the world that nothing is permanent... I wish to be calm but sometimes before I get calm my words already reached to the other person.. So plz guru bless me with lots of calmness like you 🙏🙏🙏..love from Bhutan

[@philosophyoflife7929]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iX-Um4uAq9pmZ6s

[@meghakapoor4699]

More we embody calmness ,more calmer we become

[@mylescymylescy7997]

Such an inspiration. Unfortunately it’s true some toxic people comes from our own family. I feel it rn 😢

[@estellasaville1610]

Something similar happened to me a little while ago and ı dealt with it by standing up and saying that I was not prepared to be spoken to so very aggressively and rudely and left. As you advise I did not engage but simply removed myself from the situation as I was too shocked to deal with it any other way and concerned for my own welfare as I have a cardiac condition. I did find your discourse on this problem very useful and a wonderful learning opportunity.

[@nirmaleeamarasinghe4691]

Namo buddhaya.🧖🧖🧖🧖🧖🧖🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

[@sukhi6400]

Sometimes, we have to make sure if we were not the toxid person before we say the other is the toxid people. Namo Buddhaya. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@ln7487]

Silence does NOT solve problems, communicating calmly and discussing the solution is the way to resolve issues in a relationship. Agree we need to be humble always!

[@jefft724]

I've been in these situations at work before, and I have responded with a smile. This is when rumors started about me that I was "arrogant". Simply because narcissists couldn't control my emotions.

[@jeanettekasper7467]

This world needs so much love, patience and care. We are in such a fast pace time now that people are easily triggered to be mean, irritated and impatient with others. Let's just start with ourselves and be their guides as to how we need to live and treat each other with kindness. Spread the love one day at a time, we don't want to force feed love all at once but a little at a time will make a difference, start today!

[@PowerSkillsInternational]

This is partially insightful. From dealing with toxic people for many years there comes an insight that some toxic behaviors do not come from mental weakness as is stated here, but from immense suffering. And some people who erupt in toxic anger do not do so to elicit anger from others but rather feel that the 'world has not listened' to them and their rage and anger projected at others are guttural cries for pained relief. The Brother's insights are powerful, while a few may be too generalized.

[@TheLiquidCat]

I think here Bhante is referring to people who are deliberately toxic. Those who set out to manipulate. For others who feel anger but not from a place of toxicity Bhante had an interesting quote: "If you loved yourself, you would not want yourself to be angry." This sentence is very important for all of us as we all do things that are not exactly kind and loving to ourselves, though we don't mean to do those things to ourselves. I say this as someone who was very angry all the time before studying Buddhism. I am still a little angry (hehe) but I try my best. 🙏

[@Supriya100kar]

I meditate and that helped me to deal better with toxic people. However my own parents are extremely toxic and I fear about them. Sometimes it's difficult to deal with them despite anything because I can't just walk away from them.

[@sk4906]

I understand what you mean, same!

[@sripriyaprabhu5052]

Don't ignore them....handle them diplomatically. Be smart always. Start analyse them....what made them to behave like this....definitely there is deep rooted reason behind it. Be cool....enjoy your life. Be strong...once life....make it possible. No matter what life throws at you. Don't get sympathy from outsiders. Because outside world very dangerous....you are capable of handling your own parents.

[@Supriya100kar]

@@sripriyaprabhu5052 Thank you for kind words. However I don't certainly agree with the thing that outside world is dangerous. Yes it is. But it's also much more beautiful than how I feel at home. People, especially in India highly underestimate the agony of abusive parents.

[@aesthete0457]

I can so relate to you on this! It's really difficult and i had severe anxiety inspite of trying my best not to react and to be calm. But the more non responsive I was, they would keep poking me until they get a reaction from me! Finally getting a good job and moving away to a different city was my only solace! going to counselling sessions with a good therapist also helped. The problem still persists but atleast i have some peace of mind since i don't have to deal with their toxicity everyday.

[@Supriya100kar]

@@aesthete0457 Exactly. Even I got married and went to another city. Still the effect they cast on my life does not decrease. The manipulation and all those toxic tactics still happen over calls and now they are desperately trying to strengthen the bond with my in laws so that they can still interfere with our matters! I thought that getting married or getting a job Or moving out might work but they are still on my mind all the time.

[@indranibaby4431]

🙏🙏🙏 Yes, his advice is absolutely practical , positive and beneficial for us ultimately. His message is not to allow others to control our inner peace of mind as well as our life. Anger which is very much harmful for us cannot be a weapon to deal with our enemy because anger ultimately is to kill us rather than our enemy.

[@mlee6136]

This is very good, I have a toxic boss at work. It’s very difficult but this helps, thank you. Never easy but we need to be a better person.

[@natachacabralcoaching]

Life is a mysterious experience and we can always learn something along the way, being it good or bad ❤ stay safe