How To Deal With Your Angry Teenager

[@brown_eyed_girl]

Trying to remain calm and instill/maintain boundaries is extremely challenging for me. My teen is verbally abusive and boundaries push his buttons to the point where I sometimes fear him hurting me. I try with everything I got to not let him see that or that will give him the upper hand. I still have another four years to go and I pray he matures and outgrows his anger. Not even sure what he is angry about-he’s had every opportunity in life to live happy but I do remember the anger when I was a teen, it is real. I just continue to pray to God for help.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I wish you well.

[@armt8543]

With my a teen group therapy helped and her getting her own therapist helped . I could see getting a counselor for your son could help him a lot ( I would choose a male therapist for him probably )!

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Same, I'd been afraid of my 17 yo for a long time before I reached the end of what I could cope with and I called the police. He is with my brother now, respecting him, respecting his rules wrt not gaming and sleeping at night not all day, and although I'm really glad that my son is still able to show respect, it shows me that every day for years he chose not to respect me, my very low expectations of him, I kept lowering the bar. I was not nagging him, I was afraid of him. I'm relieved he can show somebody respect though, I had worried he was not even capable of showing respect.

[@Tarasyoutube]

It's awful. The teens have lost their minds since covid and other awful stuff out there. Very painful, very scary. I think it's particularly bad for the 17 yr olds. To be quarantined at freshman year height of self consciousness, to be taught to be on a screen as if they were executives showing up on time every 45 minutes. Sickening. Mine feels like an utter failure, and lashes out, that I am an utter failure. ....so alone at 13 and a half 14 as a single parent I HAD to work. They don't understand sole breadwinner: keeping a roof over your head. So it just felt so alone, isolated for him, right as so many kids at that age start to feel anxious and changes in hormones, puberty, I remember not believing anyone loved me at 17. In today's breaking, violent, drug infested world even worse. Everytime I investigate a therapist for him he changes his mind and won't go. Covid saw the kids failing and for a freshman in HS is devastating. He blames me for all of it, and has control issues from it. It's tragic.inside he is a beautiful person. I feel like I raised him to be too big hearted and it has bitten him and he has turned away from hope a lot of times.

[@saraisabelfernandez8114]

where are you at today with this? Your comment from a year ago is relatable to my situation today and I would like to know what to do.

[@Wouldyoujust_]

I legitimately just had an issue with my 13 year old, so I searched "how to deal with an angry teenage boy" .. This makes me feel better about how I dealt with it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

WouldYouJust _, I am glad we could connect. Check out some of the other videos on the teen playlist.

[@patriciatorres190]

Same... now I’m here

[@noonmanji2086]

Tips 1) Give Unconditional love to yr kids 2) calm voice, calm face, calm body. Remain calm 3) Practise unwavering respect/ utmost respect for yr kids-this is yr choice to respect them 4)Setting appropriate limit 5)Weather the storm. Storm will pass. Don't get angry youself

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, noon manji.

[@saulmoses8698]

As a teen myself, It annoys me when I'm arguing with my mum or dad and they are perfectly calm, it makes me feel like the thing I'm arguing for isn't important

[@NintCondition]

When I stay calm my daughter gets pissed.

[@puapucuve6643]

@@saulmoses8698 ultimately anger and/or not being able to remain calm is a choice that you have picked for yourself to suffer through. Nobody is forcing you to lose your temper just like your anger is not forcing your parents to lose their temper. Once you learn how to regulate yourself, the better off you will be as an adult. It saddens me when I see adults who have not learned this life skill. I used to be a bouncer, and one of the best methods that I used to de-escalate hostile environments, was to remain calm and understand that I controlled my emotions and reactions, which ultimately gave me easy control over the incidents that I dealt with.

[@sn9912]

@@saulmoses8698 as a parent for a teenager I have been searching for a teen to know how do they feel n think nowadays 🙂

[@rachelzed2004]

I just want to add that maintaining the moral high ground by granting respect, (even unearned) leaves no hooks for the offender to latch onto in order to excuse their bad behavior. That was a bit wordy but I hope it makes sense. I've found this holds try with any contentious interactions.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Makes sense to me, Rachel Glurich. I can think of tons of scenarios where this is true, thanks!

[@balanceskateboarding8807]

Yep... like an angry unforgiving spouse

[@medepresed5123]

Yeeesss! I've used this to show my teen that we can in fact still be respectful even when we're upset lol. He doesn't listen but at least he can't say "no you don't!!" Lol

[@mewho6199]

On the other hand, the teen could say, "Well, you're being so nice, I guess my behavior was okay." You're damned if you, damned if you don't.

[@lvlc5]

We've had our angry moments... and the last 3 weeks were very very difficult... I lost my temper in solitude and cried over the mix of frustration, anger and disappointment, but in front of him I managed for the first time to stay calm, with my calm face and calm voice. I don't know if I am ever going to be able to do it again, BUT I know know I can do it. Still there is not one second I doubted by love. At the end of the week, when we closed that chapter and started a new one, I wrote in a card and left it in his room... WE LOVE YOU, NO MATTER WHAT AND EVEN IF... parenting is tough... tough...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It is very tough, sometimes, Leyda Leon. Remember the great times also.

[@elenigros]

It is easier to become a brain surgeon.

[@deborahwallace1847]

Leyda Leon exactly what I’m going through right now. Praying I can stay calm because I am in panic mode right now. Hope all is going well with your son

[@christineb2640]

Great job ❤

[@MyTEEsharp1]

@@deborahwallace1847Hi! Its been a lil while since you posted this. Did everything work out? Going through something similar. : : - /

[@anthonyg.4761]

While love is unconditional it does not mean someone you love cannot burn you out to where you do not want that person in your life. No one wants to be abused or disrespected relentlessly.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Anthony G., hopefully they turn around before that happens.

[@anthonyg.4761]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV One always hopes! Yes!

[@cmak1212]

The "no matter what and even if" is the best teen advice I've ever heard. It helps so much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome.

[@teddmented]

This is perfect advice. It’s just difficult to implement when you grew up in a chaotic household and the teenager is not someone you like at that moment.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Bat Soup Chef, keep trying. So difficult, but it won't last forever.

[@HealThyLivingQueen]

I love these positive mechanisms for parenting when dealing with teenagers. With my son, sometimes it doesn’t always work. Sometimes I have to put my foot down and get a little ugly. And that is OKAY! You can do this is respect!Some children will never respect you if are soft and not firm enough. The Bible even says a whooping can keep your child out of hell. In proverbs. It’s all about balance.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Alexis Thompson, children need love and discipline. When there is too much of one, they can go a little wonky on you.

[@jax2292]

I was 20 when I had my twins I admit I wasn’t as patient as I am now at 34. I hope it’s not too late for them to know I’ve always loved them 🥺

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Theresa, it is not too late, it is never too late. You are the mother they need.

[@katiedangelo404]

im a much better parent at 47 then i was at 18.... wht should kids wait? because they will be better kids

[@fuentescarlos21]

I can relate to what you’re saying Theresa.

[@cheraharless9899]

I am a single mother to 7. 4 of my children are teens. Raising teens is so difficult. I felt like I was drowning. Thank you for throwing me a "life jacket". My favorite piece of advice was storms always pass. Im going to repeat this to myself daily.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

They really do. Teens are a different animal. Glad you find the channel helpful.

[@zdepav2609]

Exactly, me too amd try to walk away from it because the teens can push the buttons realy well

[@gloriayoung392]

Thank you As A single mom with A Angry Teen-ager... Good Advise . Thank you May Our Heavenly Father bless Your message.....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Gloria Young. Best of luck to you and your teenager.

[@reesegetwellchannelgully8132]

Gloria Young I have a 14 year old too...single mom ...omg do I struggle ...and I defintely add to the storm ..hahah I must counter balance ...stay calm and parent on

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

Play Christina “ hurt”

[@MsJennasisReign]

Hope all is well these days mamas and babies. Especially these days stay safe and stay strong

[@kurukurupa53]

An angry teenager * “A” is not used in that sentence

[@stevew3421]

Thank you for this timely video. I often am afraid during the turbulence that my son will never love me again. Your message to weather the storm and let it pass because it WILL pass is very helpful at the time of this writing. God bless you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So glad you found Live On Purpose at this time, Steve W. Thank you for your kind words and I wish you the best of luck as you implement the ideas.

[@MyTEEsharp1]

Hi Steve! How did things work out? Currently going through something similar!

[@djish3223]

Dear Dr. Paul, Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Im gojng through custody battle with bitter ex-mother-inlaw and her 4 daughters all over 25 live with her as well as their infant 2 children. Everytime i feel stressed because of situations that arise i put on Dr. Paul and experience an enormous sense of peace and i get a smug look on my face and honestly i have allowed tears to flow. Thank you we need more humans like you on the planet and this universe. I plan to join live on purpose online as soon as I'm done paying for college. Lol.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

DJ Ish, best of luck to you. I hope things work out well for you.

[@marcimay2975]

Weather the storm! Best advice! As a mom of five I completely agree with this. I have three boys ages 24, 15 and 12. One of the greatest pieces of advice I received from a mom of 4 boys was, “You will “like” your son again some day.” This has proven to be true in the case of our oldest son. Fingers crossed 🤞🏽 for the rest. My husband was a juvenile judge for fifteen years and even with all his training we still struggle with keeping our boys focused and on the straight and narrow. Parenting is hard. Do the best you can do. Give lots of hugs. Show up every day with your game face on. “Love them no matter what and even if!” Thank you for your encouraging and insightful videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Marci May, honored to be on your team. You are the mother your children need.

[@clairepitsenberger211]

Love yourself, no matter what!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes! That is the best place to start. Thank you, Claire.

[@whomadethewordword5035]

I just found you and have been listening to your videos daily. I’m a grandparent dealing with a young teen and love how you focus on what I can do (and can’t control) thank you so much. Your direction is helpful, practical and doable.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Who made the word Word, Thank you, I am honored to be on your team.

[@dinushinirayen8005]

This piece of advice means a lot for me. I have been going through a lot with my 14 year old old Eldest son. (2 younger sons have been watching all this) Most of those what you told have been exactly what has been going through in my home. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, Deinushini Rayen. Hang in there, it is a difficult time for some (most) kids.

[@carolinegeethaapb.arokiada1520]

Hi Dinushini, Same here

[@Fetchup]

One of the worst things about my oldest teenager daughters anger is that she tries to turn her younger sisters angry and have them act disrespectful as well. Her behavior is like a cancer that she tries to spread. She even told me that she was talking to them about killing me several years ago. Just last year she went to cps and told a bunch of lies about me and had me under investigation. Nothing happened but her anger is so out of control. She turns 18 within a month and I’m ready for her to go her own way. It’s just sad because I never imagined this is where we would be.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

JR, perhaps with a little distance she will come to realize what she had.

[@jenniedevereaux2696]

I'm with you. My daughter is 15 kick boxing champion. She's bashed my head in 4 times this year. My mum and brothers died January 2023 she blames me. I'm really ill scoliosis, endometriosis, migrated filshie clips 9years getting a diagnoses. My daughter tells me to kill myself. I,m all ready suffering depression.

[@tulyfuller8779]

I got accused by my daughter and ex 3 times of shocking, kicking and punching her. Police was coming to my house and then child protection. Last year was the worst and he ends kicking her out from his house. She is living with me full time; she doesn't help at all at home she is so disrespectful . I have one more year and 6 months for her to go in her own. Is not healthy to live with a kid that doesn't appreciate what you do for them. I told her to start looking for a job because at 18 years old she has to leave my house. If you are a good parent then why they can't be a good kids.

[@juliekerns7367]

I’m so grateful I found your channel. Your advice is really making me feel more confident in parenting my teens. Thank you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Julie. Glad our paths crossed.

[@aaronmichellejackson6339]

Calm Face, Calm Voice, Calm Body, Respect, Setting Appropriate Limits, Weather the Storm 🌈All the Best U & me...Parents🌈

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

AARON & MICHELLE JACKSON, thanks for your support.

[@monicabassy9744]

Such maturity and wisdom in your advice. You are a good human being.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, honored to be on your team.

[@badamson3330]

You are the first person that I found that is actually addressing problems with angry teenagers and they are so hard to raise. And you have so many good videos I just don't know which one to watch next. Thank you so much you have really put a lot of information out there did I can use in my parenting with my difficult and angry teenagers. And I will use it with more than just my teenagers will use it in the rest of my life with other people that I deal with thank you very much I really really appreciate it

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

B Adamson, honored to be on your team.

[@gaylebardrick7725]

Such good advice. Also been smiling more lately when my conversations with my teenager become heated, it diffuses the situation and actually we end up laughing together, so thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gayle Bardrick, it really does work. Thanks for trying.

[@jewelthompson6248]

I'm to love and not harm that's the bottom line. I'm in control of my own actions.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jewel Thompson, Yes, you are. Glad you are at the channel.

[@tinadobbs737]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV rrrrr reef pl

[@tinadobbs737]

L pop mopppp pop ppoo

[@mariamina4445]

amazing advice ! thank you for helping me remember my number one job - to love my teenager! thankful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

And, the most important job, Maria Fabbrocini.

[@jennifermichener4273]

😂😁😜👏

[@judithrobinson9869]

If a teenager is anger, they have to learn how to control. Send them to the room , some teenagers reliate. The only way is let them control themselves, after them calming down. It's the right to communicate, it depends how bad the temper is. They need to learn to control their anger & no attention. Until they have calm down.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you. You can't really deal with them when they are out of control.

[@wonderfullife904]

I am an Asian father raising a difficult child in the West. My daughter is a hateful, disrespectful type, insecure about her look and deficits, blaming me and her mother for her existence, being jealous and hateful to me but she is weak in communication and can not have a fair conversation. Her stragegy is not saying anything to put all confrontations into an empty space. I am loosing my patience!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

H N, get clear on what you control and then focus on that.

[@deborahmeek6529]

This is really helpful especially during quarantine!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful! Aspen Love, thanks for watching.

[@abigailpreece5749]

😀😃😄😁

[@nathanfernandes8250]

Great advise. I am trying to practice this as a mother . Wish my husband will choose to do as well

[@fuentescarlos21]

Dr. Jenkins, I became a parent at the age of 16 and then at 19. I wish I’ve had more guidance from my mother but at the end of the day, she was a great mother who made many sacrifices to raise me and I made poor decisions that dictated my path in life. I grew up without a father and my immaturity as young parent has created some resentment and friction with my two boys whom I love and I wish I could’ve expressed and showed how I felt about them when they were younger. I wasn’t a father to them but more like a friend and the lack of life experience, understanding and expression of love towards them has definitely hurt our relationship. For many years I asked my self how bad did I failed my kids as a father and listening to you now that I just found you, I also found the answer. I don’t know how but I will spend the rest of my life time making sure that my now 23 and 25 year old young men understand how wrong I was and if they let me, become the dad I always should have been. Thank you for your help.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love to hear this, better days are ahead.

[@MyBlindMamasMessyKitchen]

This is my third time watching this. I have a 16-year-old boy who really likes to push his parents limits. He’s a good kid we always know where he’s at. He’s usually home. Man oh man does he ever have a mouth on him! Cut his mama’s heart sometimes. I try not to let it show. Boy is it hard. Husband and I are not on the same page with this. This video has helped me a lot and I’m glad it’s here so I can go back to it. Thank you so much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome. I hope you and your husband can get on the same page.

[@paweuuu27]

I'm not even a parent but I feel like these tips are usable for being a better person in general. Greetings from Poland!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching! When you understand the principles they can be applied broadly.

[@SuzanneOsman-di7ub]

Dr. Paul, I find your advice so remarkably clear and empathic. However, I wish you would do a video for dealing with difficult teenage students. I am a teacher and while some of your parenting advice can cross over, there are unique challenges, expectations, and limitations of the teacher that don't relate to parenting as much. Hoping you will consider it. I would share it with all my colleagues!!! Thank you for your voice.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great idea, Suzanne Osman. Thank you for the suggestion.

[@zdepav2609]

I wish that for the teachers because they do have it super hard with teens this generation.

[@Skyizzhi]

Need this badly. I am a single mother working full time. My ex lives in another state and is basically non-existent. My 15 year old despises the 100% remote learning. He has no social life and no activities or sports that he participates anymore. He has developed some major OCD tendencies and does not want to see a therapist. Covid 19 sucks. Especially for boys without fathers!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Laxmi Rama, I wish you the best. Hopefully he can find a kid or two his age to hang out with, no matter what that looks like.

[@studentofknowledge2649]

I know one kid who was not checked when teenager, he turned out to be an angry adult. Storm did not wither . What could be the reason ?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

student of Knowledge, impossible to say. There might be some underlying hurt that caused the anger. It won't go away until treated.

[@Smiley_101]

I did most of this to my oldest and even set good examples of my kindness for him to learned after but I felt sometime am I being too nice that he no longer cares whatever advices I give him and is his way or nothing at all . 😓 I just hope this stage of being a brat teenager of his just he’ll soon outgrown them . Someday I thought oh wow he changed that fast n next day out of nowhere 😅he back to his brat for a day .. wondering if any parents out there has this ..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Queenie Le, this behavior is confusing, but pretty common. Keep modeling the behavior you want to see.

[@anthonyg.4761]

I’m their parent not their peer or friend. Too much of this confusion today.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Agreed.

[@thatgirlb7454]

Hi im a teenager and i just want to say that this video could be helpful .I would say that when im frustrated with my parents or were having an argument , my advise to you parents would be to listen .for example if they got in touble for something , GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO tell their story .So listen to them dont just cut them off.in my experience it only makes me more mad and frustrated to the point that i feel like hitting something , or i shut down and go to my room and put on my headphones so it can distract me and so i can ignore them so they'd leave me alone .so i agree on the keep calm thing .but in some situations id say that you do need to get your point out but try to keep your anger controlled.for example dont get in their face while yelling cause it could trigger them .Be the kinder you !Cause if i said something hurtful and they where being nice to me , id feel awful and later apologise or id try to do better . Dont try to act like someone else .cause they wont like that either lol .I hope this helped someone 😙

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

that girl B, thank you for giving us your perspective, it is very helpful. We can forget as adults sometimes how it feels from a teenagers viewpoint.

[@balanceskateboarding8807]

Thank you. You helped me 🤗

[@estelleschneider9033]

Dr Jenkins..you are a wonderful gift to Parents..at all stages of parenting especially the difficult teen puberty years with raging hormones an all they are going through.. Wanting to be grown up but at the same time not accepting the responsibility which is part of it The poser struggles they work so hard at Wanting trust but not behaving in a consistent behavior which is is trustful Not expressing feelings appropriately and blaming others ..who may be an often is the nearest target "Mom" To project stuff Instead of saying I feel sad I feel angry Depressed ..let us talk about it. I have a friend's daughter in my life She has not a clue that she can express her anger as I feel angry She pouts ..I did this as a child all my life in a family who were quite dysfunctional where we were not allowed to have these emotions but put on a happy face only It is freeing to own our feelings..this is at the heart ❤️ of the problems Appropriate expression of self at the heart level

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@cherls15]

I'm a 34 year old mum. I've been raising my son now for 13 years on my own. This is not a burden, nor is it a complete joy ( but there still are many joyous moments) He's now this 13 year old person and for the first time, I am really struggling. Why? Because I can see that even though he is maturing, he still is a child in many ways, the difference is he is a child who at times, knows that he doesn't always have to be one. He has so many needs now, a ton more complicated than any other age I've been through with him. The trouble is, as a single mum, I have so many needs too that I can't always meet for myself. So, when my son gets angry, all of my emotions surface and I hate myself for it. I love my son to no end...but also, I wish someone loved me too.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

cherls15, you need to build up your team, other single parents that can help or family. Know that your son is acting age appropriate right now and that may help. He won't be like this forever, 13 is a tough age.

[@cherls15]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you. I have tried connecting with other single parents and my family live far away. The other single parents I've tried meeting up with all had much, much younger kids and their way of living life/parenting was not at all the best for their kids or themselves for that matter. I understand he is acting age appropriately and I don't even think he has any specific behavioural / emotional challenges, I look up articles /info all the time as it's my only point of reference as I don't have a second parent to help. Thank you for your reply.

[@love2learnvy68]

Some people never grow up! This could be applied to anyone you encounter-co-worker, spouse, neighbor, parents,etc. Thanks, great help! God bless.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Absolutely!

[@jjsmama401]

I disagree. Your job as a parent is to prepare your teen to be a productive, successful, self-sufficient adult who is prepared for life. Yes, love them unconditionally too.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hopefully we get to that goal by giving them love and discipline.

[@moonmagnolia7]

I wish I had these videos when my kids were teenagers. However, I’m going to try to apply these to my “adult” child who occasionally still acts like a teenage child.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

moonmagnolia7, perfect, pull out the principles and apply them to the circumstance. You got this.

[@isabellas.c.scanderbeg2670]

Thank you for your advice! Being insulted, hearing him using the worst words is difficult. Remaining within the realm of respect is difficult; very, very difficult. When they go beyond limits. And I never, ever, accepted people who disrespected ME. So I have problems when my own son becomes disrespectful: verbally and aggressive in attitude 🥵 He has to learn that he cannot ever, ever behave like this with anyone - ever. Ever again. Difficult to remain calm and set limits 😥

[@Hendinburg]

Wow I love this. I never went thru this with my 2 sons when they were teenagers. But now that they're all grown up, I wanted to do something meaningful with my life so I started to foster special needs clients. It has been really difficult but I love it. This advice came in just in time too. I have been dealing with one client who sometimes is so difficult to love. He's 21 years old but has a mind of a child. I'm 5'2" and he's 6'1" so I have to know how to keep things under control or he could really hurt me. So far I've been doing good but this advice will help me so much more. He's high function so I know I can do this! 😃

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dolores Valdez, thank you for sharing your experiences. You can do this! We believe in you.

[@fedenciasilva5886]

In the storm and wanting to throw in the towel. Everything feels far gone and lost. I see a narcissist being born and the father was a great example for that.

[@aproudhater9158]

I developed anger issues when i was 14, that's when one day i put my hands on my mom and since i never stopped, i had been to several counselling but now i came to conclusion that an abuser will always be an abuser

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I believe that people can change and choose not abuse others.

[@yc8371]

This is so hard to do when I feel hurt and angry. I will keep trying though. I still need help designing & setting appropriate limits and consequences.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yvonne Arias, It really is. We need to take a time out, cool off and come back.

[@ala4235]

I share custody of my daughter with my ex wife. We have different ways,of parenting. One main thing I must understand is that my daughter has been through a divorce also. Help!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Try to connect with your daughter in something that she enjoys. If this means going to a concert with her and you don't care for the music, go and remember you are there for her. Find things to do together, Al A.

[@pbustamante223]

Same here divorce only makes it worse

[@kimt8162]

It's hard because kids/teenagers are so emotional. You can be in a seemingly normal situation and all of a sudden your kid or someone else's kid goes off and have a tangent. We've even had parents going off and having a tangent. So we actually avoid some group situations now because my daughter simply doesn't want to go. I'm kind of going with her on this now; if she doesn't feel like going to something, I"m like sometimes yeh, okay. We don't have to go.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kim T, I like how you are responsive to your child's feelings and willing to listen and work with her.

[@karalizs]

Thank you so much for this. I came across this on the most perfect day. I tried to download your mini book mentioned in the description but the link did not work. I’m excited to learn more and apply methods from this and other videos. Thank you so much for sharing these videos!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome! Here is the link: drpauljenkins.info/portablepositivity

[@karalizs]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you so much!!

[@mrs_Q24]

Weather the storm…that hit me hard. Yes Sir…thank you very much. Life changing videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mrs.Q, so glad we could connect.

[@unitivecounselingservices]

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to see.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@spookyspoon6589]

Thank goodness I found you. Just in time ! 👍🙏🏼

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Spooky Spoon, so glad you found us. Great to have you as part of our community.

[@ohyeah5664]

Me too

[@elijahleddy327]

I wish this man were my friend Im a teenager and i agree with everything this man says he is absolutely correct to teach people what he knows I do respect this man I honestly hope people who watch this actually listen to this man he is not giving you his opinion but instead real advise for people who have kids and I respect this man for that reason im not kidding I'm not joking I am being honest and giving my real opinion so don't tell me my opinion that I'm giving to you with in my comment is incorrect because you don't know who I am nor do you have the ability to ready mind nor my thoughts or my emotions! All I am saying is take this comment seriously don't judge my comment based off of previously stupid comments you have read by other people!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow, I am so honored by your comment, Elijah leddy! Thank you, I really appreciate your support. We have more just for you on our "Just for kids and teens" playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV. I hope you can find something useful there. And feel free to share anything you like with your parents, siblings (if you have them), and any friends who you think will listen. Together, let's make the world a more positive place! It's an honor to be on your team.

[@MsJennasisReign]

Your opinions and thoughts are valid. I wish you well on your life journey. Stay thoughtful young one 🌟

[@djish3223]

Good kid

[@beamarlo3962]

What if this anger is an all day every day thing? If he isolates himself, any little thing done or said makes him explode, getting physical, punching walls and doesn't want to talk about what makes him angry? I understand he needs love, calmness and respect but how do you overcome this constant behavior?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Bea Mar, it is tough. Attempt to connect with him through something he loves and hopefully that connection can help him to feel less like acting out. It is a process and will take some time.

[@hawiigirma3022]

Your videos are very helpful . Thanks.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Hawaii Girma. Thanks for watching.

[@jintong8556]

My son is 8 years old. He gets frustrated easily and turns to angry soon. I tried your advice a few times to keep calm. But he can’t let go his emotion. He kept testing my boundary and did things like bully to me and his 2 year old little brother. I had to stop him before it’s too late. I don’t know what he will be when he is a teenage.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jin Tong, Find a counselor who can help him learn to express his feelings in a calmer way.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

I had to call the police on my intimidating, aggressive 17 yo last week. A combination of gaming, autism and no father had turned him in to an angry threatening raging teen who was verbally abusive when i asked him to cut down on gaming/stopbcooking at 2am/wore clean clothes. Now he is living with my brother thankfully. Im glad he has structure now. I don't know how to act now. He kicked down the door to terrify me. He told my daughter he wanted to kill me. I don't know why he hated me so much. If i carry on acting in the same calm, respectful way i practiced for the last 17 years, what message does that send? Im glad my brother's home is being respected in a way that mine was not but it shows my son chose not to respect me /my home /our resources. I want to connect with my son, tentatively. Im afraid of being a doormat though as i can see being calm and loving has not made my son respect me. The opposite. I don't want to give up on him yet though. Choosing the words for my first reach out carefully.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Work on healing yourself and getting in a more positive space and your son will see the changes you are making.

[@MsJennasisReign]

I made a promise to each one of my babies after they were born to love them no matter what .... I will now remember to add and even if... I tell them unconditionally but I think saying the actual words ..... I love you no matter what and even if will sit better... thank you so much for these tools. I had zero guidance and I’m learning as I go.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

MsShannaK, honored to be on your team.

[@stargate356]

What do you do when you try to correct your teen not to repeat a mistake but then you come back and find that the teen is repeating the same mistake , you then talk to the teen again to the third time then you end up loosing your cool and explode . I feel so tired , I feel like running away but I don't know to where

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

stargate, consequences before we lose our temper.

[@sasquatl]

What about if ur wife and son are yelling at each other?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We would welcome her to the platform and community when she is ready to deal with your teenager in a different way. Hopefully she come in. go.liveonpurposecentral.com.

[@silryn]

I have failed at all of this. He's 17 now. I feel like I've done it all wrong.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Julie Ryan, it is a new day and a new opportunity. Go to your son and tell him you want to do things differently and figure it out with him.

[@jacquelynhamby6706]

Thankyou! I recently took a job as a group life supervisor at a crisis shelter group home for teens…. They’re angry and I am NOT a parent. I need real help y’all 😅 I’m in a masters for clinical counseling so actually it’s been great and the kids by and large are great! Just have moments of serious crisis or craziness and finding ways to deal with that, having zero experience with parenting as is, is hard. Post more I need more help 🙃💜😁

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good for you! You are going to learn a lot with this experience. Remember to love them no matter what. They will test you, look at them as individuals and treat them individually.

[@TranscendingTrauma]

I wonder if you could do a video like this for parents who suffer with PTSD/cPTSD. I’ve been in therapy for years and have come 1,000,000 miles in learning how to regulate myself. But when my teenager acts extremely disrespectful and angry it’s hard not to get somewhat triggered. It was her father that was abusive to me. Not saying anything at all about not loving her. It’s just it activates. Probably a little stronger than a normal situation.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I imagine it is difficult. You might try a little mantra when you feel you are being triggered to remind yourself that you are talking to your daughter and she is not your ex.

[@TranscendingTrauma]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV That’s a good idea thank you

[@lemon9171]

My mom is a single parent so she doesn't have time to stay with me and my sister and I don't blame her because I can understand she is going through a lot as she is a nurse ...so I have the responsibility to take care of my sister .... She is so stubborn and I get angry whenever she doesn't behave properly ... She is now 10 and she has been through a lot...our father was physically mentally emotionally abusive and was also alcoholic ... So I think her rigid and obstinate behaviour stems from ... I am now 17 and I am really worried about her ... Yeah I admit that I haven't been the best sister one could have ... I made some bad decisions but still I am glad that I realised it now and I am trying to change my ways... I used to get angry easily with her but I am more patience because somewhere I know what she is going through and how she feels because there was a time when I was the same ... But what I am worried about is that what if she makes a mad decision when she grows up so I decided to change myself and treat her the way I want to be treated ... But still sometimes I loose temper but still I am trying and I know these techniques will help me to have a more beautiful relationship with my sister because I want to make her feel loved and comfortable....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We all make mistakes. Apologize when you do and ask for a do over. Love her no matter what and even if...

[@jennifermichener4273]

1. Love 2. Calm 3. Respect 4. Limits 5. Weather........ Got it 👌👍👏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jennifer Michener, thanks for being here at Live On Purpose.

[@madhuraa29]

Im 13 and i always get mad at my mum and then regret it so hard afterwards.. idk what to do :/

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

CindersCoffee, ask your mom to get you some help. You won't regret it.

[@madhuraa29]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😇

[@smarteam5920]

Counselling is helpful, and you can also research on your own how to regulate your emotions, mindfulness, meditation, all this information is at your fingertips! Plus, be kind and gentle with yourself because adolescence can be challenging!

[@madhuraa29]

@@smarteam5920 thank you so much 🥺

[@vidyasonavane9602]

I am glad that children also feel sad for emotionally hurting parents. Parenting is a tough job with lot of sacrifices and guilt. Parents just want best for their kids.

[@zdepav2609]

You are so awesome. Great advices always. Thank you so much. 🤗

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@momof1576]

What if she’s hurting me physically? It’s hard to live someone who is beating you, spitting on you and scratching your face.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

NO ONE should be abused, you or her. She needs to have consequences and if that means the police, so be it.

[@MsWill]

Send to juvenile

[@plusbonus1165]

Thanks for your advice but our teenage daughter does exactly what she feels like. From drugs to inappropriate online content to raging tantrums that result in deliberately putting holes in the walls ! 30 holes so far. We have had to call the police on three occasions and the usual response time is 3hrs. The police could do nothing to help. Any other suggestions? My wife bears the brunt of the diabolical behaviour when I'm at work. Our three other kids live in a state of discomfort.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Plus Bonus, she needs some therapy, I would start with your family doctor and go from there.

[@plusbonus1165]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Yes , she has point blank refused therapy except once when it was court ordered for drug possession. We have loved her all the way. Will this storm pass or end in prison (or worse). She had a sports scholarship which was withdrawn. She will not be helped .

[@balanceskateboarding8807]

@@plusbonus1165 😢😣. Please keep going, don't stop! You can do this! 🤗🙏❤️

[@josephh4539]

@@plusbonus1165 is the psych ward a option. 5 days there things got better. 2 weeks out not taking meds and raging and sleeping all day again. Wonder if back to PW and group counseling will do the trick. I honestly believe the invention of cell phones is ground zero for all of this. These brats think they are entitled to everything. I said in my calm voice;)

[@UncleChopChop22]

my son losing it blind sided me as the day before he seemed good, i felt good i thought it was all good. I didnt react well and all this is crushing me. I feel like alot of what is said here makes sense i just wish i could apply it easliy. Im struggling with it. I just need him to feel good about himself and im not im sure the right dad to do that.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rob, it is not easy to apply. I am sorry you are going through this. You can honestly ask him for a do over and try again.

[@aimeelouvier-sutton]

Omg I go thru this with my son too

[@anamairazapata6306]

Thank you so much for your advice. I love watching your videos, they gave helped me alot with my children and with the children I am going to be working with when I become a middle school counselor

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

That is an awesome career choice. The kids are so fun and you can make a huge difference.

[@thecuriouscanvas6666]

My brother is 8 years older than me , he doesn't understand what I feel when I m angry , he and my mom starts expecting me to behave as a mature grown adult but trust me my words are never wrong neither my points are , it's just that I start to yell and shout in the argument because they don't agree to me . Sometimes I feel captivated when they throw instructions on me one by one . They want to make me perfect but .........I just feel broken sometimes 💔😭 I don't have any close friend and thus I feel lonely when I get scolded at home . Hope you would listen to me !

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I did listen and I read your entire comment. We need those closest to us, our family to show that they listen to us. We all want to be heard.

[@kahealyman2993]

LOVE this so much !

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you!

[@getdelusional5027]

Can you show examples on how to deal with our angry teens? I know you're explaining to us, I just feel it to be a helpful visual to see more or less what we should say and how our body language should look like.🤗

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I meant what I said and I said what I meant, I will add it to the list, thanks!

[@ginginbenton6463]

This is actually a good idea, as some people are visual learners. And it would be entertaining.

[@reneeb5392]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV ? What does that mean? U said what u meant? That is not the suggestion that was made. I urge u to actually read as well.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

@@reneeb5392 I typically begin the comment by addressing the person by their username. Look at the original commenter's name. :) Thank you for watching.

[@reneeb5392]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I was replying and commenting to your comment and I did address your username 🤣

[@grandmasstories3418]

Great talk, Dr. Paul!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Grandma's stories, thank you.

[@josietiara]

So helpful! thank you!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Our pleasure.

[@anamairazapata6306]

The teen years are soooo hard. I thought toddlers were hard to handle yeah right! They are a walk in the park. I love my teens so much no matter how much they get in my nerves sometimes

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you.

[@angyt1070]

Really great!! Thank you 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're very welcome!

[@rebeccarogan7897]

Thank you ! Your videos give me much relief and I appreciate you very much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Rebecca.

[@anthonyg.4761]

Sometimes the storm does irreparable damage before it passes.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Anthony G., it may rearrange a few things, but life goes on and we can make something of what we are left with.

[@elijah5201]

I'm not sure if this works with kids who come from broken homes/violent domestic situations where young boys are in street activity or desire to do so! But maybe I'm wrong!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

The principles hold, there might be a difference in delivery. I would take each case individually. Building trust would have to come first.

[@animeclips7232]

Thank you for the advices, truly helpful.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

animeClips, thank you for being a part of our community.

[@gippula]

Every parent should watch this x10

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I invite you to share this video, gippula. : ) Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV - I am honored to have you here.

[@maritessvargas7094]

As parent we have a lot of responsibility. The monthly bills, dealing customer qnd your boss everyday..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, we do.

[@parislove8386]

I would like my mom to hear this video ,the majority of time the conflict starts with my two younger siblings they start bothering me,and when I start to defend myself she gets angry with me I know I'm the oldest daughter but my siblings know the consequences of their acts too,the problem is that thanks to my siblings my mom and I end up fighting because she defends them and what she wants me is to stay in silence when they disrespect me sometimes I feel jealous and frustrated because she takes their side, I feel like I'm just one and three are against me.Sorry if I made any mistake in grammar English isn't my maternal language.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Paris Love, write out your feelings in a letter and then give it to your mom. She might get a different side to the story. Easier to express than in the moment.

[@mariaplacencia8845]

my son feels like you and not because he told me but i have felt it but if im more leneant with his other siblings its because they comunicate with me more and shows they care they listen they learn from mistake they show matureness , i wish he will communicate more and with a respectful tone because i do love them all the same but like teenagers love to say we not all the same and its easier to put it on oh they are the favorites instead of asking yourself if your behavior is ok , hope you heal with your parents 🙏🏾

[@marycallan1937]

Thanks as I really needed this. 😏 Was just reading up on oppositional defiance disorder today.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you enjoyed the video, Mary Callan. Honored to be on your team.

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

Play Christina Agarlura “ hurt”

[@elianagreen7026]

Excellent tips!!! I have a serious issue that my husband and I are not the same page with me. He gives away a lot of freedom and Liberty to our son and when I do not allow something he may go on my back and allows it. Every time this happens my son’s behaviours deteriorates them my husband shouts, screens and says offensive things to our son. I am seen a family psychologist who is helping a lot but my husband refuses help. I had to move to another country to separate my 13 y o son from delinquent friends … I had to get security to help me to establish limits. My son is now 15 and is much better now, however I feel my husband undermines lot of the positive progress of our son. Do you have some video that explains the importance of mother and father to be on the same page for a productive parenting?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

eliana green, I remember doing one video on this topic, I think. Do a search at the channel.

[@alondrasilva1570]

When my oldest is in argumentive state, he always wants to have the last word and this just makes it worse for me.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hear you. Thank you for watching.

[@MorganAlexis]

Stay calm. Parent on.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love it, we should print up T-shirts. Thanks, M.A. Manago.

[@paulaivens8063]

Great advice but easier said than done I think, especially in the heat of the moment.🤔

[@rebeccaterry8758]

Do you have advice on adult children that are considering divorce living in your house while you pay their house payments.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rebecca Terry, if that is not something you want to do, tell them they need to come up with another plan and you have full confidence in them that they can.

[@zohraimam6597]

Thank You 🎉 Thank You 🎉

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome.

[@zohraimam6597]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV GOD Bless You 🙏

[@vl9356]

When setting appropriate limits....how do let the teen know??????

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

V L, I would tell them what the limits are and the consequences if they decide to break them.

[@jeeolsen9993]

I just smile to them but not cool for them.. And live my life And when my food is not that good.. Trust me anger will come out and I just stay in my place . Keep praying

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Always have hope.

[@singlebombmom3834]

I don’t always win this battle but try and try…

[@ginginbenton6463]

Love your channel. Helped me and my life a lot!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gyn Taylor, glad you found us and I love it when couples watch the videos and talk about them.

[@celene6519]

You are so amazingly smart, and bonding with your teenager, I hope I have the same ways soon, my own pre-teen said some very horrible words towards me tonight, and i'm so sad, because I love her so much and think about her throughout the day multiple times and dealing with the corona virus, my kids have had to say home and e bored, they definetly don't want to do chores, even though I've recently bought them iphones... it'. just sucks, ugh...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Cel Imvu, during these times, give each other do-overs. Be forgiving and lead out with your kids. Tell her you know she is feeling some stress and try to find something to do together. Working together can bring us closer.

[@JamesENjeruN]

That means you need to be able to give these things to yourself.