How to Defeat "Toxic Passivity" (CoDependents please listen)

Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at www.spartanlife...
UCLA 2019

[@pbjt2396]

Friendly reminder to all reading: Remember to FEEL your body. Shut off your devices, lay in bed and just admire your physical body. Relax. Breathe. Then stand up and plant your feet firmly on the floor. Stretch. Get grounded. That will help you tune in to your body and help you discover what you’re feeling. This is crucial for you to connect with your emotions, and to eventually heal. You are not “washed up” or “run down”. You are a CONQUEROR and you won that long, difficult battle. Now march onward, and win the war, too. Best of luck. 🌸 xx

[@brittneygrisolia2432]

But.. it's soo hard. I want to revert back the second I feel anything I don't love

[@brittneygrisolia2432]

How do you just do this

[@brusselsprout5851]

Learn self hypnosis.

[@thiefonthecross7552]

Thank you friend :)

[@cindyvowels5529]

“Everything is going to be ok. And whatever happens, you can deal with it.” My 5 y/o son and myself thank you.

[@isabellortheil1182]

Jinx, im hoping my 5 y/o son and i will be ok. Im in Perth, Australia and managed to leave my abusive ex in nov 2020. On top of that i had a work place accident and subsequent workers compensation claim/ loss of job and snapped thumb + my ever so helpful colleague and friend going full narcissist / psychopath on me. The abuse from my ex hasnt stopped, my son is being used to get to me, we're in family court ordered therapy on Thursday, however i feel stronger (and myself) again every day. Thumb fixed, fighting ed department for job, successful restraining order against former work colleague. Its a long cry from wanting to top myself at the start of 2021 because i felt so hopeless. All the best to you and your 5 y/o 💞

[@lpine4211]

Mine is 7 yrs. 🙏

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

This guy is really good. I know he doesn't have eight million degrees, isn't a psychiatrist or psychologist or doctor. And none of that matters because, in a way, it appears to me that this allows him the freedom from 'lingo' and 'deterministic definitions' that have us still stuck 20-30 years after terms such as co-dependency first emerged. Toxic passivity is visceral, at least to me. He is literally, mechanically correct and I always love a mechanical illustration. I use them all the time in law like the 'moustrap trust', which is really called a resulting trust. But the mousetrap shows people literally, mechanically how they work. Richard Grannon is intelligent in the truest sense: he is non-thetic and just allows the exploration toward truth and well-being to emerge organically.

[@katee8147]

Richard has insights through self discovery & deep questioning of the core of ethical humanity related to our biology & understanding of the mind.

[@EmberAsh]

Well said

[@benh2156]

A college diploma doesn't define intelligence

[@the_mulattos]

I'll give you a hint heterosexual relationships for him will be unhealthy by definition and he tries to equivocate masculinity with narcissism. Basically says men can only love if they're feminine and therefore open to homosexual relationships with men or else it's just dehumanization.

[@DA-ln5kz]

Richard has a degree in psychology 😉

[@josephscott5029]

This was 2019 and it’s only gotten more dire since.. the signs of mass psychosis are everywhere.

[@lilear3929]

Correct

[@lechatleblanc]

Love u joseph

[@1o1carolina53]

Shut up wear your mask when commenting

[@jarijansma2207]

Joseph! Ive noticed the same. Ive myself on some level has gotten worse, but ive found more people like this guy, making lemonade instead of sitting around, hurt by the existence of lemons The more crazy people, the more people fed up with the craziness and hungry for truth. So it works both ways

[@solvixenwhisper]

What do you mean by the signs of mass psychosis are everywhere? Can you elaborate pls

[@harleyquinn5774]

Toxic Passivity. This brings to mind criminal acts of violence being committed on a victim in plain view of others who choose to look the other way and pretend they are unaware of it and just let the violent act “run its course” for the convenience of others instead of stopping it. *survivor of such an experience, right here.*

[@KoolRanqe]

A police officer with two stripes on how uniform in Peoria Az stole my phone, wallet and all if it's contents during a PTSD flashback because somebody at my recent kitchen job held a knife to my gut at work. Also the police are withholding such in attempted entrapment methods

[@boostmobile9249]

Heavy.

[@mishaanton5436]

@@KoolRanqe.. ugg theybr human and flawed as much as the rest if us. Had 3 bros do military then |@\/\/ e|\|f○rc/\/\enţ. Attracts some well meaning ppl. A lot w issues.

[@corinnemuir1542]

@@mishaanton5436 the word that is said without saying it. The Encryption is to avoid detection. Detection from who? I see this being implemented a lot. I’m sure there is a reason.

[@makeme4884]

Same here, found out that even the police looked the other way. Triggers you back into childhood trauma. And makes you more vulnerable to psychopaths and other toxic people, who then manipulate you to get theirs. Been there done that, but this video really is mind opening! 🙏

[@wellbeingcarecommunity2240]

Thank you for giving this for free. Glad to see someone spreading real empowering knowledge freely.

[@greentree730]

Passivity can be so devaluing. Someone who should love you is standing right there while your bleeding to death. They are walking by while your coming apart. They are someone who should care, husband, sister, mother, etc. But they don't, they take from you but have zero interest in you. The hurt never ends, because they should love you. There are some in your life where it should be reciprocal. Its a shock it's not, ice water time.

[@Wingedmagician]

I’ve been improving a lot recently. And I’m not going to go so far as to say you’re the single thing that’s changing my life. But you’re definitely one of the top 5. Thank you so much Mr Grannon 🙏

[@athenathepooppooppoop8593]

Well said!!

[@jimmyfallon2484]

Are you inclined to share the other top 4 resources that are benefitting you?

[@Wingedmagician]

@@jimmyfallon2484 Heres a few that comes to me. Others are kind of scattered thoughts and influences and not standing out like these 1. atomic and tiny habits from BJfogg and James Clear. 2. Sam Harris and his stuff on consciousness and meditation. 3. Ideas from ACT therapy like defusion and acceptance. By the way I’m going from dumpster fire to regular dumpster. I’m not a success story. I’m just finding my way out of a lifelong fog. The biggest insight for me is fully acknowledging how deep in the shit I am and worst of all how much of it is my fault. Sorry for the long answer!

[@jimmyfallon2484]

@@Wingedmagician Ill be sure to check them out! Thanks you. Btw no nees to apologize for the long answer. Wasnt word salad you said it was necesarry to say what you wanted to with eloquence and straightforwardness. It was your choice to give your time, effort and attention to help another person. Dont be a people pleaser😉💕

[@createart8032]

I didn't even begin to heal until I ran across Richard about 8years ago. he did single-handedly help me because my therapist sure weren't helping me...and I didn't know anything until I ran across this guy...I was just go in and vent to my therapist and I got advice that you would like get from a friend it was ridiculous. he really helped me understand what was going on and gave me tools and recommended a great book that I highly recommend complex PTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker.. I never began healing until I ran across Richards videos and I bought that book and then I started really understanding what was going on with me and how to deal with it. I mean I'm not going to say that I'm healed completely, probably never will be, as didn't find out what's going on with me until I was 50. but I'm a lot better off than I was 8 years ago. Richard was like an answered prayer for me. And He knows his shit.

[@annacichocka7734]

19:56 victim hood cultures 🤦‍♀️ directly related to family units 🤷‍♀️ 20:47 overparented 🤦‍♀️21:54 🥵 24:01 two types of toxic passivity 👈 24:41 That's it right here 👌👍 30:44 addiction to negativity 🤢 32:23 politics 🥵 33:46 toxic passivity a weakness 39:19 technique what our parents didn't do 😐 40:57 reassurance 57:21 fertile breeding ground era for narcissistic relationships 58:43 🕺💃🎶😁😂👌 LMAO RICHARD! 1:03:37 toxic passivity provides a breeding ground for narcissism to take place, it cannot thrive in a boundary environment 👌 1:04:54 narcissists are cheap con artists 1:05:41 when you look back 🤦‍♀️ 1:06:30 if we were boundried... 1:07:20 I am my own self 🤗 1:15:23 values / father figure 1:17:54 keys to authenticity 1:18:21 toxic authenticity 1:25:29 elements of your life that create the most drama 😒😐 1:47:27 1:49:49 🎯👍 EVERYTHING IN THIS VIDEO THAT'S EXACTLY IT 💯

[@sillygirl1139]

Looks like it took a bit of effort. Thank you, appreciated.

[@td3701]

Thank you Anna😀👏🏻🌈

[@angeliqueyoung3412]

Thank you so much

[@jenholmes29]

Thank you Anna for taking the time.

[@ruthsnyder1020]

Helpful. Thank you!

[@MandySky]

I am crying happy tears, "if you have no flashbacks, they have no power". you've changed my whole life. all your videos. But this was done it all. you are such a God damn Blessing. Years of therapy that I've made myself go to and in one video you explain my whole childhood, what's wrong with me, and how to fix it forever. Thanks are never going to be enough 🤗

[@gellicbecca5191]

Moral codes and ethics were my only sanity and life raft when I was enmeshed with a Psychopath

[@Demonicintrovert666]

i feel ya

[@JohnTheRevelator11]

This has to be THE most important video I’ve ever seen. And I’ve studied every religion and philosophy and history I can get my hands on, This is so powerful, What a complete and accurate report of the world we are interacting with. Wow. On so many levels.

[@buyop9441]

I would not say it’s greater than scriptures but I agree with you on everything else. I’ve watched maybe 100 of his videos if not more yet this one is just so, so accurate and so, so good! I’m grateful this has been shared.

[@jaysilverstone7221]

Thanks for your comment. Caught some of it live, will go through it properly this week. The thirty day challenge earlier this year was defining for me. Go strong.

[@buyop9441]

@@jaysilverstone7221 You’re welcome. Thank you! You go strong too!

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

John the Revelator: Your statement 'What a complete and accurate report of the world we are interacting with...' goes well, I think with the observations I made today. Mr Grannon is really good. So refreshing and hope-bearing,

[@skdewolf7606]

I appreciate that he really draws the direct line from narcissism writ large to writ small. Our modern global society is psychopathic. It’s ok to not be well adjusted to it. Walk your own path.

[@annacichocka7734]

All these people in the room actually all the people coming to your seminars all the people listening and doing the work religiously are the only hope for humanity. Breaking generational curses. My type of peeps 💕 We got this ✊

[@gomolemokau3562]

Well said Anna ✊🏽

[@user-lk1qx7gb5o]

As they say, in history it has taken only a few globally to cause mass collective change.

[@mishaanton5436]

@@user-lk1qx7gb5o ...more seem to have inertia. Lack empathy or symapthy, and that seems like a bad virus very contagious. Deadly to healthy society. We shall see if good/healthy wins over toxic/evil. Seems only those open to good things will be affected. Still...must fight it.

[@kaylaschroeder1]

Yes, well said!

[@Steve197201]

That part at 1:27:15, where he talks about "I want", "It's mine", and "No" was very instructive. We've become such a codependent society, that those statements are actually considered narcissistic, when in reality, they are mental declarations of a healthy, well adjusted adult.

[@mattdonlan7745]

Only when talking about your own things :-) Toxic people use those terms when talking about other people's things.

[@Steve197201]

@@mattdonlan7745 Yes, good point!

[@hunbundoe7627]

Narc relationship he kept wanting to use a sweater and he was not ok with me not wanting him to wear it. Weird but I knew that he just wanted to use it to take it from me. I just thought you gave so many why do you want mine! Stupidest shit I put up with. I even thought of getting rid of it so he wouldn’t ask for it. Omg

[@Steve197201]

@@hunbundoe7627 He sounds like a typical narcissistic control freak. It had nothing to do with the sweater. It was just a means of control. I lived with my brother for years, and he didn't like it when I opened my bedroom window at night, with the door closed, because it was hotter than Hades in there. He claimed the "cold" air (it was actually on the side of the house that didn't get any wind, so it was hardly noticeable) was going through the walls into his bedroom, causing him to be unable to sleep. He also insisted on having the thermostat on 70 degrees day and night. I don't think he was cold. He was just using that as an excuse to be controlling.

[@elstal22]

I loved the calm peace I felt doing a crossword puzzle while drinking my morning coffee. Sure enough, my ex wanted in on it, and said I was selfish for not wanting the two of us to do it together, at his slow pace. Thus depriving me of my Zen moment. I proposed doing my own but also helping him do one. Not good enough. And of course I absorbed the guilt and never felt the same calm while doing one while he was around.

[@Amyliz1717]

I'm watching through tears. My whole life I've not understood what keeps going wrong and I'm finally at the point I realize I'M THE PROBLEM. It is passivity and codependency... I'm trying so hard and feel hopeless a lot.

[@nathanalexander8468]

Holy cow. The dopamine rush of telling your story is revealing. I've known a few with CONSTANT therapy and talks about breakthroughs, yet they never change.

[@ellen8847]

Same! Now I get what's happening with one friend I have, and the obsessive storytelling.

[@huldaherna3935]

This was good one, watched it with my daughter and she agreed that many do not understand the passivity being apparent. It is baffling to see the abusive coercing tactics being executed in broad daylight and the aggressive fear mongering.

[@Jizzlewobbwtfcus]

first 10 seconds made 100000% sense. more teachers like this please!

[@katherineschmidt7720]

...and I’m unapologetically Christian. It is my moral compass that is my saving grace, foundation, and has kept me and my children sane.

[@SweetSweetFireOfLove]

This is years of self-help or therapy on fast forward. Getting to the point, and not wasting more time. Brilliant!

[@shanartisan]

Last night I had the worst nightmare I've had in a long time. I dreamed that everything I did last week to get away from him was useless, and me & the kids were all back there, heading to the house in his car, and he was trying to look like he was happy but I caught those sideways covert dagger looks and knew revenge was coming. Then I woke up, still in my tent, camping on a farm that's not ours with all my children, and realized we were still safe, four states away, and that this is going to be an amazing day. Thank you for all you've done for us, Richie.

[@Happyticcer]

My narc ex's classic line when I'm going through an emotional flashback...." Just listen to me when I tell you how to behave. I know you. I know you better than you know yourself." Thank you for this vid Richard. Daily spiritual healing, intellectual understanding and REAL TALK!

[@David-eu1ms]

When people see that you respect yourself, they tend to follow suit, it seems like the people who are still in my life see me a little bit differently than they did before.

[@mishaanton5436]

The severely toxic get triggered.

[@EmberAsh]

Cool

[@pbjt2396]

Very true. Seen it time and time again, and I like to give myself a little pat on the back and claim that I am the cause of their excellence 😇😁 I certainly hope they become excellent! But I’m definitely not mad at it since that’s exactly what we need more of in the world. Self respect and respect for others. 🎈

[@ryanmacewen511]

I am not a doctor (either). I am in a relationship, a marriage, and I have 2 children. I approached my wife with he angle of, 'Hey, I have been hurting a lot, and I feel abused. I see that symptoms and experiences of victims of Narcissistic abuse are absolutely identical to what I am going through.' Any hint or mention of narcissism to her pisses her off, and etc. This is a wonderful video. I have been watching a lot of Richards videos over the last month. It's heartbreaking to see this is my present life. I am so afraid, and sad. My latest text from her called me a 'Lifetime Loser'. Followed up with she still loves me. WTF. Yes, this is real. Thank you Richard! You are doing amazing work.

[@EJ-mm8wc]

I feel like the toxic relationship is with authority figures right now.

[@sheenascott5604]

From my perspective this video is spot on for me and my own CPTSD and my memories, reliving those memories just causes my brain and adrenal glands to produce those same chemicals as when I was going through the actual trauma. Hindsight really is 20/20. Try not to allow your past trauma to trick your mind and body. It's hard but I believe it's possible.

[@shazdoryt]

This guy is a shaman who takes people back to self.., in modern language. Ace. Another inspiring healer! Very impressed. As I always say... intention is everything. Doesn't matter what you do in life... there is always someone that will have an opinion on it... never mind what those opinions are, if you are doing good in the world... keep doing. No one is for everyone. One life. Live it. Freedom to be who you were born to be is everything! Define yourself always and be who you are unapologetic. Be HUMAN.

[@hotstitch1]

Richard at 25 mins you have solved a massive mystery for me. At a time when the media were screaming that nobody could buy houses; I refused to listen to it and calmly went out and bought one. Never have I been so socially ostracised in my life. It was a total shock - like I had done a crime.

[@justinw2232]

They want to victimise property owners.

[@ta_nimal2023]

Similar experience. Taking prosperity into your own hands and actually doing something about it can bring a lot of subtle and not so subtle, "Oh I wish I could do that" animosity your way. So far I havent had the balls to say back then why don't you?

[@ta_nimal2023]

Being a victim is virtuous. Figuring crap out and improving your life is shameful and greedy. No wonder we are passive.

[@tashastarling870]

I need Richard Grannon's maturity to help me break my habits and see how I need to take responsibility for my thinking. Always inspiring. Thank you so much for your work.

[@stompthedragon4010]

I used to do this. Ruined alot of my life this way. Finally realized that I had to figure myself out and stayed alone for a very long time, over a decade. Decided to try some casual relationships and realized I hadnt figured myself out enough. It goes back to self esteem for me. Im better off alone and don' t mind it.

[@firebunnii3536]

55:50 “Malignant Optimist” is the best terminology I’ve heard for this particular state of being. Amazing way of summing it up 💯🔥✨

[@cyberbob2010]

This is such a fantastic video and is everything I needed to help me into next steps. Thank you so much for creating and sharing it. While the Tik Tok/Instagram/online "how narcissists get you" culture certainly is toxic and perpetuates a sense of victimhood, it did lead me to your content. I went through such an awful experience... won't rant on about it **too much** here, but my ex almost certainly has severe BPD. She caused severe injury to herself, our son, and me over the span of five years through neglect, alcoholism, infidelity, leaving us for days at a time to go party, wrecking family vehicles drunk, physical abuse, etc... At first, I tried endlessly to save her and took on all of the responsibility for everything that happened to her and our family. After all of it, in her final act, she left me for someone she was cheating on me with. She quit her job so I could pay for everything for our son while she went full-time into partying and taking vacations with her new guy while I struggled to make up the financial burden she left on me to provide for his healthcare, education, and speech therapy. Almost all of her custody time, she dumps him on her parents. When she does have our son, she has him around the guy she left me for. As if all of the past offenses weren't enough, I'm picking our son up from her house while he plays with the man she monkey branched to. She continues to do immoral and objectively evil things.... but, I eventually realized that I needed to own how I was feeling about it and that the only one I could control in that situation was me. I started to own the role I played in letting it happen. I started to own how my endless attempts to "help her" and "get her to own what she was doing" and "demand that she stop lying to me and manipulating me and humiliating me and using me" was really just me attempting to exert control over her. I can't and shouldn't want to control her. What I should do is ask why I would place controlling her over being able to control myself. Why wasn't I focused on my own self-worth? Why did I prioritize her behavior over my own reactions? Why wasn't I making my inability to set up healthy boundaries and stick to them a bigger priority than the perception I felt she and others had of me as a result of how things had gone and ended? I realized that how she behaved and treated me was not a reflection of my value but was a reflection of her values. I realized that tying both of those things to her wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't responsible for me to absolve myself of my obligations to myself and that to knowingly put that additional weight onto someone who doesn't even know who they are and are already over their head in emotion and implusivity was actually abusive on my part. I had gone from being endlessly supportive to being endlessly critical to being endlessly ruthless in my insistence that she not treat me that way by becoming vengeful and hurtful and scathingly attacking with my language. This led me to looking into how to better emotionally regulate which led me into deep breathing and meditation work. Still, that felt like a treatment for the symptoms instead of a cure for the disease. Something in me knew that if all I did was improve my ability to endure ever-increasing slights from ever more important people in my life that all I was doing was raising my ceiling for discomfort and disrespect. The real question was, why was anyone able to make me feel this way in the first place? My logical conclusion was that there must be something injured in me that stings when poked. Being able to withstand someone shoving their finger deeper and deeper into an open wound isn't the way to handle things. The key is to heal the wound. At this point, I didn't realize how close I was to the answer but it led me to look into how someone might define my behavior, which led me to codependency. It led me to understand what causes someone to be codependent which led me to inner child work and shadow work. That led me to understand all of the concepts, from a theoretical level, that led to why she is the way she is and why I am the way I am. Still, the question remained... how do I even begin to heal childhood wounds? How do I even begin to address this thing deep in myself that I couldn't identify or conceptualize as a part of my psyche? I have been looking, with limited success, until I found this video. It has, by far, been the greatest tool I've come across yet. I will continue this journey and will continue looking for tools to help me do the work, but I just wanted to say that I truly appreciate this and I very much value the impact it has had on me. Thank you.

[@blumenaue7590]

Richie has extended a hand to me so many times, figuratively. No one on the planet, is giving this degree of understanding. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@benhagstrom2185]

I'm so glad I tuned in. The lady's comment around the 1 hour mark really resonated with me. I took Richard's first course and felt way better, then I tried to go into 30 day challenge and couldn't even complete day 2. It's taken me almost a year to get to a place where I'm ready to start tackling it again.

[@katee8147]

Keep going, lovely honest sharing.

[@oeaoo]

Watching you. Do it!

[@tpolishgal]

Keep trying. At least you are trying. Good for you.

[@dotdashdotdash]

I have zero tolerance for genuine abuse, when it happens now, I go No Contact immediately. And I stay that way with them.

[@annikamin1637]

This is full of really good information and strategies. I have to disagree on one point that I want to make for anyone who felt invalidated hearing that “they have no power over you if you aren’t flashbacking.” This may apply to some abusive relationships, but it does NOT apply when dealing with highly coercive and manipulative people. It’s not just about flashbacks and our inability to set boundaries. Please know, if you’re in this situation, that safety planning is key and even setting boundaries can be dangerous. Please proceed in ways that feel safe to you and seek help from a safe house or similar organization that knows how to deal with domestic violence. 💜

[@youtubingbabs]

I agree.... You have to comply and then sneak out and keep their ego intact.

[@timsaunders8989]

I'm having breakthrough after breakthrough at the moment. With good EMDR/internal family systems therapy and your excellent content accross platforms I can literally watch my brain and thoughts change almost daily. I feel like I've got new options for the first time in a long time. Thank you so much for your work Richard

[@_Fredinator_]

Just wrote three really long comments, deleted them all. Good bit of therapy tho 🤔 Thanks a heap for the time you give to us. This was so very helpful. Watching a second time.

[@crinishorela]

Awesome job. Made the connection between personal trauma and society, added moral philosophy, some history and a joke. Very good content and I'm only 25% into it. I will be listening multiple times to this. It feels like finishing a puzzle. Thank you for making sense of life.

[@na8959]

This is excellent. I feel empowered to assert myself without the guilt and shame of feeling as if it is wrong to go against the grain.

[@viktoriaregis6645]

Richard Granson grows on me every time I watch him. It is so great with a structurized practical teaching. Usually it is just either theoretical explanations, or were we have to be without really telling us how to get there. It is great he gives us the tools, but we have to make use of them according to who we are. And he communicate a great deal of wisdom.

[@dream.wrangler2990]

Mind blown ⚡️ “We poison relationships with toxic passivity, it is a breeding ground for narcissistic abuse.” 🙏 is It’s all making so much more sense now.

[@mariarichards5221]

emotions are messenger's, not to be feared, as often our cultural affiliation would deems.. brilliant 🙏🌹💖☮❤❤❤❤❤

[@alismithrethinkingtrauma]

I have gained more from this one video than i have from the last 3 years of researching and trying to" work out " codependency both for me personally and as a therapist. Thank you Richard Grannon

[@boostmobile9249]

We are OK, IN THIS MOMENT, NOW!!! I AM SECURE!!! CALM!! GRATEFUL, JOY, PLAYFUL! In this moment in this TIME!!! GOOD!! 👍👍👍👍

[@Ted1775]

Richard, this among your all time best. Thank you for this. One gem I learned from you is that narcissists and Cluster B demons have no power over you if you are not having emotional flashbacks. I am working on healing from about 3 years worth of narcissistic abuse and CPTSD trauma.

[@tarp11z]

I was taken from my Mother when I was a six year old boy. Consequently, I feared marriage til I was 45, although I desired marriage and family more than anything. I'm happily married now, but this video is the is the first resource that actually rings with why I was so panicky for so long. Yes, there was an attachment disorder, but Richard's explanation of how necessary hypervigilance in childhood takes over adulthood speaks very loudly to my personal experience. Not that that idea is new to me; but the way in which Richard presents it here is profound. I'll be starting that emotional journal this evening. Thank you, Richard Grannon.

[@nicolesalter2726]

The great Ayatollah from Canada!!! I love this. You have a way with words and language is everything when it comes to making complicated concepts easy to understand. Thank you.

[@FeMiNem-Poet]

Wow. Richard is on fire with this podcast. LOTS of pearls of wisdom. VERY grateful for you. Thank you for this opportunity.

[@HipHop-vg7cd]

I am so broken right now...spirituality, physically and emotionally and I'm SO grateful that I came across this video today! I have been feeling so hopeless and I needed this more than you'll ever know and I had to personally say Thank You from the bottom of my broken heart!!! ❤️ I needed this guidance bc my brain is in such a fog from the trauma and I pray that I can find my way back to myself. I intend on looking into more of your videos and see what other advice and information is available to help me on this long path that I'm about to embark on. Tysm, you're an angel 🙏💯

[@bethlanglois9361]

After this, see Jonathan Pageau’s channel if you feel lost and don’t trust yourself to be competent enough to build a moral code from the ground up and a definition of love all on your own. Thanks Richard, for a helpful and empowering presentation.

[@ivan2795]

Haven't watched a lot of him. But coming from an esoteric background, I can say with 100% certainty that Johnatan doesn't have a clue about the occult.

[@dionissiakabylis]

Raw, real, highly honest approach. Very helpful work, Richard. Thank you for sharing!

[@eminaajanovic9140]

Thank you. Emotional flashbacks and boundary shifting is very real. Working on it. Even though our work is our own to tackle, having someone like you explain it like that is so valuable and reassuring, we are on the right path. I think your purpose has chosen you. Everything that happened in life set you on this path. I’m grateful for your wisdom and for sharing your gift. ☀️🤗

[@rosemarywhitehead438]

Yes! I have come so far, and can actually put it all together now, but I cannot DO anything with it. I go passive! Yet it is right there in my story, that every time I nearly got out of the box I was slapped back into it! Rather than expecting to be free, I am expecting to be shot down, and I am here cowering rather than celebrating freedom! Thank you!

[@nylaclancy2655]

Same here..!! Oh my gosh isn't it true.

[@heart_of_freedom_idan]

Great lecture, very holistic, combining many systems of healing which creates a broad and deep healing experience for us watchers. Thank you Richard keep up the great work man!

[@christineplaton3048]

Your intro just described my life. Saddled with children...no education, impoverished...educating women can save our lives, our happiness, and our government assistance will not be as high. The trick is to teach teens, before they bear children, before the situation becomes complex.

[@billbirkett7166]

I take it as a sign of progress that I came back to this channel and realized that I don't really need to talk about these things anymore in my personal life. But I feel immense discomfort living in an overly psychologized and toxic yin culture...Richard was absolutely spot on about this point. I see younger people posting online now and it just fills me with rage at the self-centeredness and cringiness of it all. And I am happy to be almost 40 now, I am very glad I am not like the rising generation. But God have mercy on us all when they start to take over.

[@menarussell]

You're awesome! I refer you to many people. I agree. People need to stop telling their story in order to move forward. I tell people that venting isn't really healthy and gives out more negative energy and puts that negative energy into other people's lives. They don't need it but then choose to get involved and comment, creating more negative energy. It's a bad cycle that people need to stop. So, NO VENTING. Talking with a professional to work on it and move forward is different and acceptable.

[@justbeegreen]

Thank you for commenting not only on family and dysfunctional cultural influences AND focusing on building our emotional literary!

[@AmberPignanelli]

i never heard of emotional flashbacks before, only the kind with visuals. I am shook. This whole time, in recent years for me, I've been experiencing this and not knowing and thinking im more healed than I am but knowing things are progressively falling apart then build back in different ways but this is a huge piece. huge. explains a lot of what's been happening with me and its good to know its that and that the sadness or fear or flight response or whatever is that and not actually the normal way of life. can be fixed. can be recognized, soothed. thank you

[@susancasey3044]

Rewinding, listening again and taking notes, also sharing with friends. This is rich. Great advice for people undoing codependent behaviors. I am learning how to stop the traumatic mental looping! Thank you, sir, for helping to point a way OUT and off the flashback train track. (It's going to be okay 👌 I can handle this. Yep.)

[@rfwoolf]

👏👏👏 That was a class act, Richard. I have much respect for you right now. Well done.

[@rfwoolf]

@RICHARD GRANNON The above comment is not Richard Grannon. Reported.

[@annemarietaube6335]

Thank you for truthful insight. We are in a "junk" society, and almost everyone is a narcissist. I think it's been a bad domino effect of ppl too "busy" to pay attn to our children & each other on the level that's necessary.

[@kam0406]

The constant consumerism is really key. I've begun to be more aware of this. Excessive amounts of food or shopping is addictive and just a distraction.

[@shynaunarae]

Thank you Richard ….you are a true inspiration…Your videos have shed clarity on my life and now I have a starting point!

[@enochlightburst333]

Thank you so much I'm going through this toxic abuse and very difficult situation much love for everything you do thank you dearly ❤️🙏🖖

[@annalucillada]

what a good man giving this away for free. beautiful. another valuable piece of work. "cheap wisdoms are disgusting" 💯✊

[@odette8905]

As ever Rich, this work is timelessly relevant and helpful. Thank you. Am happy to be feeling very recovered thanks to your work and your coaching. 😘

[@tamzinspiredlife9609]

OMG! Major light bulb moment, this absolutely resonates - "They have no power if you're not flashbacking", wow. Still not even halfway through but had to comment. Thankyou Richard, love your work!

[@euniceveloso2954]

This is a precious hour ... Thank you Richard for making that lesson available🙏

[@alecfleming373]

I appreciate the level of professionalism you have towards research and actually observation of the mass.

[@threethrushes]

This applies to one's relationship with employers. I escaped the corporate rat-race at 39, but some people flourish in psychopathic environments.

[@sarahjames2452]

Every person you meet is fighting thier very own personal battle...helps me be kinder to seemingly rude people in life.

[@TylinaVespart]

This was excellent, thank you for what you’re doing. That part near the end about how you get the shit kicked out of you spiritually and mentally? And how lots of people just don’t get it? That was a big deal. It really does take a lot of time and effort to walk back from.

[@erikakrueger9033]

It's funny watching this about a year since my last of your videos and leaving many groups on fb etc that were "support groups" for CPTSD. I got really frustrated with most of those groups because people were in an endless loop of the same shit over and over. The same people just whining and looking for attention. Not supporting. Not offering suggestions. And it was affecting my mood, keeping me down in depression. I identify with your whole modality with the world being damaged. Mine is too. I'd like to thank you for this video. Still going through learning to identify my feelings and emotions. I do actually have D.I.D. though not just CPTSD. Emotional flashbacks are a bitch. Thanks for doing what you do.

[@RandomUser18676]

DUDE! (With all due respect) thank you so much! You're giving out SO much valuable crucial and time sensitive information, in a compact and thorough way. GENIUS.

[@annemarietaube6335]

1st time I've watched. I've been "trying" to be real with myself & thought I'd made great strides in becoming more whole, & have elevated in a spiritual sense. I have been diluding myself. I've been thinking with my ego so I can say I'm greater, more knowledgeable, more enlightened than the "average" person, (this has also reminded me, there is no average person, that is society taking away individuality, as Richard said, part of the trade off. Thank you for the jolt back to reality that I desperately needed. I can't tell you what it means & will mean to me & the ppl around me.

[@b.gotschall7566]

Woooooow, this is THE most comprehensive and applicable teaching I have EVER came across! (& the last!) Quite literally an answer to my prayers😇 Over two years ago, I woke up to how I was showing up in my life… It was hard to stomach knowing I was trying to re-create my mommy issues thru the reckless and almost irresistibly magnetic connections ; Self-cast as the girl with learned helplessness - always being shut down; frustrated, resentful, and worst of all, feeling misunderstood. Again, hard to fathom what I had been doing to myself on a subconscious level. Have been working on reframing my inner-dialog, but Richards explanation and break down of everything is such a blessing. You truly are an Earth Angel!❤️

[@loislee2895]

This is fucking sublime. Thank you so much for posting this. It's re-enforced a few things I already practice, it's been the 'daddy' talk I've never had from a third person, and it's given me rocket fuel to propel me to where and who I see myself as being. I'll be watching this a few times to really absorb!

[@katherineschmidt7720]

You have given me the language to describe what I’ve gone through. I’m also glad that I was able to find my way out of a dark hole with the help of my “tribe”. As an empath I’m still working on not taking in other peoples “stuff”. I am indeed a work in progress. Your explanation of what is becoming of us as a society is spot on. I’ve seen it, felt it, but am grateful that you courageously NAME it!

[@inseanity_murphy]

This is an incredibly good video… wow… painful but straight to the core of the issue.

[@heyonope7682]

Some values... Awareness, balance, calmness, compassion, creativity, discipline, empathy, freedom, gratitude, humility, LOVE, peace, service, spirituality, TRUST. understanding

[@philipjohn3262]

Thanks for posting Richard, bloody marvellous 🙏🏻

[@Juhziz]

00:07:50 What is toxic passivity. Yin and chaos. 00:10:30 Malignant Yin. 00:19:10 Victimhood culture and overparenting. 00:24:15 Self-interested action as taboo. 00:28:20 Stopping flashbacks and gaining emotional literacy. 00:39:07 It's okay to feel ugly and bad emotions. 00:41:30 Emotional flashbacks cause dissociation and change personality. 00:44:12 "I'm always wrong" is a toxic passivity credo. 00:45:11 Question about being nondescript person. "It's about me" 00:53:52 Collective delusions of digital age. 00:57:55 Exercise for removing flashbacks. 01:07:43 Taking Dharma from others results in bad Karma. 01:11:33 "Why do you doing this?" On having your own philosophy and principles. 01:17:05 Don't be a lazy consumer. Being authentic. 01:19:52 As long as you act it doesn't matter what you actually do. On having values. 01:26:08 Your identity is edited. 01:26:48 On having goals. "I want. It's mine. No." Ego formation. 01:32:38 Remain in reality. 01:35:35 Question about being stuck in the story. 01:44:05 Question about not feeling like life is getting better after abuse.

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

To anyone interested: Read Pema Chodron's book: When Things fall Apart. She writes a lot about the dangers of us getting caught up in our 'stories' and just getting stuck there with nothing else to talk about or experience. If we just talk talk talk, it has to have a goal at the end or else it can very easily become your everything, your story, which is just an empty concept. There's nothing in it for you. But it does make some people a good living, as he says.

[@socialdistancingon8333]

Wow! I didn't even know there was a term for the pattern I've been in my whole life... Thank you for this video?

[@huggingkarma]

This is so good and spot on. Really appreciate this.

[@lenoredavi6137]

The emotions trigger emotional flashbacks... hooray! Finally the key to resolving this situation! Thanks so much.😆 The day l began "real" therapy l had a dream where l was inside a glass bubble that burst... suddenly l was covered in broken glass and afraid to move in case l was cut to pieces... and then l became aware of thousands of rainbows feeling hope, awe, and the promise of new beginnings.

[@pickle9753]

Some times it’s good to come back to your seminars that I’ve already seen, just for a bit of a refresh booster. Thanks again for all your wisdom and advice.

[@nix1434]

This talk should come with a warning ⚠️ Extreme selfempowerment🥰

[@passion4living]

Looking forward to hearing this. Livingg in the "figure 8" scenario, touching on all facets of creation of cptsd to include cult religion, sick parental upbringing, violence, fear...sets a person up. Amazing to learn and CHANGE the DANCE STEPS

[@kaliwander3479]

this is really valuable, also the examples with the father figure. thank you Richard !

[@dnk4559]

So you got me at “I love Bachata dance”! My husband and I are both salsa and bachata dancers. We are in our fifties and sixties so finding salsa way too exhausting. Dancing has helped me heal! Thank you for what you are doing, I really appreciate your willingness to share your wisdom with us on our healing journeys!

[@aureolegrimard6212]

Thank you Richard. Always a pleasure to hear your wisdom. You've helped beyond belief. ❤️

[@nif7830]

Hi Richard I'm finally checking your channel again after two years after hearing about a male friend trapped in a relationship with a new bub and narc mum with postnatal. I thought I'd post because your channel worked for me and I'm in the place! Your channel helped me six years ago. It's taken a while to withdraw from the self protective anxiety of knowledge seeking and checking your podcasts, but I'm here. It's been slow recovery and I'm now in a stable loving relationship with a new bub and we are all happy and content in a quiet life. It's striking how free I am and how right you are, I didn't realise how far I've come until you put it like 'forget about this channel'. Well I have- thanks!

[@ManU-go8np]

C’mon Richard 👏🏻👏🏻. I’m ready to pop my third eye open!!! Hoping you’ve got some enlightenment material coming very soon 🙏🏻

[@GwenLening]

I learned more from you than any therapist or nurse or other professional told me....much more, thank you dear Mr.Richard Sir!My inner child salutes you!!❤😅

[@flyingrhinofilms]

This is pure gold Richard 👌 After listening to a lot of your talks and content over the last few years (now pretty much on the other side of things thankfully) this is definitely up there with the best of them. Never cease to learn from your talks. Thank you.

[@janettrimble2950]

I found this very helpful . Thank you. It makes my healing Journey seem more manageable and a lot clearer.

[@coletteyoko694]

Excellent! Very clear and motivating! Thank you Monsieur Grannon