How to disagree productively and find common ground | Julia Dhar

[@Zahlenteufel1]

What really sucks imo is that often times parents suffocate their children's capacity or willingness to have a discussion. Example: Child: *disagrees with parents on something* "Can we have a discussion about this?" Parent: "No, I am right because I said so." And just like that, the discussion is terminated and the child learns that discussion will not help to convince others.

[@branon6565]

Zahlenteufel1 ....a child is to do wtf it's told to do, it is not the child's choice whether to do as told or to be disrespectful by arguing....

[@KayKayshaw]

@@branon6565 In some families, discussing differing viewpoints is allowed. Of course, parents have some authority over their children (moreover if the children are underage), however, I think providing a nurturing and open environment to discuss is good for developing critical thinking and a sense of self-identity (or worth? or confidence?).

[@NeerajKulhari3]

Dark truth 🥲

[@SmGargoyle]

@@branon6565 arguing isn't necessarily disrespectful, my core family values both respect and understanding so when I was arguing I was always respectful, however they also actively chose to listen to me everytime and truly tried to understand, even though they were not always ready to be persuaded.

[@themasstermwahahahah]

​@@branon6565I think the point is that you can still require the children to do things and consider it disrespectful if they don't do them, while still considering it respectful for them to disagree or argue with you. A child is a child and doesn't necessarily understand that the things you tell them to do are probably better for them or for the family, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to explain that to them, and just say "because I sound so". That's my take at least. Obviously parents are usually under a lot of stress and it can be hard, but is probably good to try when you can.

[@hardikrajpal2410]

"Contempt has replaced conversation." Loved that.

[@susanzoeckler4926]

"Shared reality is the antidote to alternative facts" -- concise, powerful, beautiful

[@acsmith1771]

I love her voice, not just for the accent, it's got a nice solidity to it. Powerful.

[@bigchungusamongus]

Messy half accent and a warbling stuttering lack of confidence. What are you talking about?

[@acsmith1771]

@@bigchungusamongus Can't play video at the time of replying, but I don't remember. I was likely pretty high at the time. ;)

[@bognarandras8398]

To summarize key points: To have a fruitful debate one needs to: 1. Find common ground 2. Debate ideas rather than personalities 3. Be open to be proven wrong

[@JohnyIIOh]

Safed me some minutes, thanks

[@TH3N3W3RA]

Legend

[@johnangelo1366]

@@JohnyIIOh you got the point but you didnt get the idea since "you saved time" from not watching it

[@madisonturner1370]

@@johnangelo1366 chile he helped him out.

[@NTyran932]

Thanks bro perfext

[@FreeYogaTV]

Very clear, concise and a wonderful idea for how we can continue to each have our own unique experience, while keeping everyone at the table of discussion. Respecting our differences instead of just tolerating them. Even in online communities! 😆🙏🏼

[@DrBongington]

That was a well structured, rehearsed and delivered speech.

[@FreedomwithE3rd]

It is so true that people prefer contempt rather then the risk of connecting... So I agree with you miss speaker :)

[@stephaniesmith3544]

“Disagreements can be transformed by debating ideas rather than discussing identity”. What a bloody refreshing and pleasantly surprising thing to hear. Great talk

[@marydannelle9914]

I am absolutely grateful for her talk. I struggle with intellectual maturity. She is right when she says we tend to be attached to our ideas. But I also couldn't help but notice the way she breathes in deeply with her eyes closed whilst shaking her head vigorously with her arms flaring about every so often haha, just an observation I couldn't ignore. Again, her talk was excellent!

[@ShaudaySmith]

TED coming in hot is some primo speakers on real topics. Powerful talk. Julia offers real solutions to miscommunication and reasonable debate. Two thumbs up.

[@austinjohn]

Wow she is such a brilliant speaker! 👏

[@andiesalinas5603]

I agree with these 3 steps and how it is important to give positive feedback on ones opinion before stating your point of view. It is okay to have different viewpoints and talk about them, while doing so in a respectful manner.

[@KuramiRocket]

Great TedTalk. Had to watch this for my college course and she makes a lot if great points. It's really the basis for effective communication in general tbh. I took a college course on Argumentation and Debate; I really liked the class despite how hard and how much work it was. Very fruitful class.

[@stephaniebrisebois5950]

Very well articulated and thought out. I love that in debate you are given a side to debate for and you need to jump into those shoes and see through the lens of the person who believes that to be true. What better way to build empathy.

[@jeffschuster3309]

Spectacular! Awesome idea about the anonymous ideas to strip identity and ego from the problem solving process.

[@cajundragon]

Need to listen on a loop. I really hate admitting when I'm wrong.

[@lisal440]

“Arguing” or debating, is only productive if both parties are RESPECTFUL of each other and each other’s views. That happens like 0.0000003% of the time so it’s almost never productive LOL

[@butn0tyet]

Amira L define respect.

[@SomeoneMysterious1352]

That is true but maybe fewer people would be disrespectful of one another if we were respectful of them and tried to find common ground.

[@sarahhasselle9143]

@@butn0tyet Without name-calling and personal attacks. Focusing only on the issues.

[@nobonespurs]

@@SomeoneMysterious1352 doesnt happen

[@ST3yo]

This was so good. Wish it had millions more views we can all benefit from this humble wisdom

[@geetallygee5089]

A well suited mission Julia❣️You’re brilliant & this is the best Ted talk ever💥

[@anonymityhaha]

I like this talk so much, finally found the answer to my wanders ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@salaadams]

Excellent!!! We need this now more than ever. Happy New Year, everyone!

[@petersputnik9637]

Very good and probably very helpful. I will put this TT on my list to listen to again (and again).

[@richsadowsky8580]

Julia, I have just watched a few of your talks. I have been struggling with knowing how to have productive discussions that provoke thought and promote respect on both sides. I relate well to people and once considered myself a centrist politically so I can typically find something to agree on to establish a promising discussion. Increasingly, over the last 5-6 years, it has become more difficult to find reasonable common ground. Specific actions in my country has caused to move left of the center, but perhaps right from the most liberal Progressives. These days people like to label each other and to the outside world I seem to be a liberal. It's a label I can wear proudly although it ignores that I may be conservative on some issues too. We are each a complex mix and labels can be a disservice to ourselves for demanding to label everything. I have watched the Fred Rogers conversation. It is indeed a wonderful example. I watched Mr Rogers in 60's. Subconsciously Mr. Rogers subtly reinforced the messages my parents were trying to teach me about respect and kindness and fairness. Thank's for reminding me of that committee and the outcome. I can honestly say that Mr. Rogers modeled the behavior that I myself would like to see in the world. It was consistent with my parents view and the view of my religious studies (which didn't continue long into my life). What a gift that man gave me. I had just seen the most recent TED talk promoted on June 14, 2021 from direct email from TED. Your message is one of the most important points with great suggestions that my home country, the USA, needs to start participating in. Furthermore, you given me fuel and inspiration even though I was already using some of the ideas you or your father practice. My home country is sadly more divided than ever and it could get worse before we see a reuniting of all Americans around core human-facing issues and then respectfully disagree on tactics. I long for that day and will work towards it.

[@Waterskilakeaustin]

Bravo! Well communicated! Continued success! Thank you!

[@LughSummerson]

It's easy to be right all the time: Be willing to change your opinion to fit the evidence.

[@saviv.official]

More extra points: 1. Listen 2. Pause a little to understand where he/she is coming from 3. Find a common ground 4. Express respect 5. State yourself clearly and discuss only ideas, not the persononality

[@felipecisternas1753]

I'm so sad I can't give more than just one thumbs up, this was beautiful

[@I_scooter_fast]

Nice! I love this talk! It would be amazing if everyone would at least TRY for these ideals

[@christineh4398]

I'm loving everything shes saying, but I cant stop wondering where she got her jacket from

[@blueberriechiiizcake]

I love her finesse! So strong, attractive & admirable. 😍😊

[@terrybear5398]

I am sure they are all keys to winning a debate, or difference.

[@seb.evidente7328]

I loved this talk. Enjoyed every second of it.

[@dreaminginnoother]

Part of our problem in political arguments is that there's money pushing lots of (mis)information and ideologies. Actual debate is tainted by who has the most to gain by winning and has the most to spend to win. Our senators are not actually working in good faith in the interest of the people. They serve different masters all together, masters who spend lots of money pushing propaganda in an attempt to further their own interests.

[@cromfayer]

Yup. Money is the gatekeeper of debates. In the news media, in the legislative chambers. The people with power do not want debates in public. They want panel shows that just encourage tribalism.

[@departmentofanalytics1116]

I don't see how this is relevant. These are just excuses for being actually terrible at debate. Sure politicians are corrupt but so what does it have to do with debate. This comment and its reply is obviously going deeper into identity politics.

[@dreaminginnoother]

​@@departmentofanalytics1116 yes. pointing out something like the undue amount of attention an unsubstantiated claim, like climate change isn't real, gets in the media is identity politics.. wtf are you talking about identity politics? Money = speech according to the courts, so bad faith actors and misinformation are actively supported and propagated. That has nothing to do with identity.

[@SomeoneMysterious1352]

@@dreaminginnoothercould you please tell me why you think the amount of money that goes into political debates has something to do with trying to find common ground and being open to the possibility of that our ideas are wrong?

[@ThankYouESM]

Thank You for speaking my mind

[@JeffreyParrishJcap]

The news media is way too busy being an anger factory to care enough about truth-finding and honest debate.

[@davec8473]

The whole internet needs to watch this video

[@TheTuubster]

Does not work if the other person is a psychopath or narcissist.

[@debbiemoore2747]

Exactly this is the only caveat but focus on those that aren't and walk away from those that are

Even if they are, definitely don't tell them that yourself. ;)

[@aubreetanner9543]

K, but nothing works if the other person is a psychopath or a narcissist.

[@TheTuubster]

@ True psychopaths or narcissists have no problem if you tell them that in their face. They see the ruthlessness, that comes with it, as a strength and it makes them proud because they know, they have an "advantage" over others. Psychopathy and narcissism are two personal disorders that are almost not curable, because the person having it does not suffer - it actually makes them happy to be this way, because their disorder simply enables them to "get what they want".

[@lotsofteabutnonetodrink5843]

If you learn to play their game then you can be on the same team and guide them.

[@Anjujoshibabrah]

Great Job...Thanks

[@Parthkumar_vekariya]

Her words are high to digest

[@ChessMasteryOfficial]

*Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works..*

[@TomTom-sk5fi]

If you're a computer, sure.

[@kaiskarim2544]

Life is like labs ، you carry on experiments until you reach something useful out of it

[@ChessMasteryOfficial]

@@kaiskarim2544 Nice! :)

[@LughSummerson]

You do sound pretty simple minded.

[@vinmorin]

Reproductivity is one that hasn't failed yet you go ahead and work on what works....ha ha oh sry

[@shadetreephilosopher5568]

That's was very uplifting! I, like many others are becoming very concerned with the state of public discourse. One of the biggest, most helpful and easiest changes we can make is to not be a-holes to other people online. And not dismiss people as being stupid just because they have different ideas than us. It's way better to give them the facts and let them decide on their own that their ideas are dumb ;-)

[@andiesalinas5603]

I agree. I think it's important to be respectful when having separate opinions from others and not dismiss their thoughts.

[@lemonyboop2033]

We need an equal number of Julia Dhars as Mr. Rogers and John Pastorés combined.

[@kabbott1387]

Brilliant Julia!

[@tranformbites]

Awakening!

[@emanuelgomez5056]

1.What’s the foundation of debate 2.why is finding common ground important to a successful debate 3. What’s an example of shared reality being used to persuade another person 4.why is it important to separate ideas from identity 5. Why is the humility of uncertainty

[@markmaugle4599]

Finding the common ground position can be hard. It would be nice to see an example of how to proceed from that point.

[@snehanarayan401]

Truly the best!

[@AtheistEve]

Just in time for the Grand Christmas Family Political Debates. 🎁🎄⛄️

[@davec8473]

This is a very important message for our times

[@melissahowell1012]

Enjoyed this thoroughly!! Great talk!!

[@jerinetan4875]

Great approach to the topic! Really got me thinking here

[@blackbird693]

What a beautiful and intelligent person.

[@easternturki6080]

Nice topic and good presentation!! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 Hello from E.T. -- 🦋East Turkistan🦋

[@shugriali1439]

Amazing Thanks

[@f.f5771]

Shugri Ali you haven’t even watched the video tf?

[@peterjakegilbuena4420]

As agreed by majority, it's concise and accurate, yet one thing, more on concepts and enticements with vague and insufficient examples.

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

I agree! When she said about finding the common ground first, I thought 'this is going good, I hope I'll learn more' but that was it.

[@Ryan-tk]

I'd love to see her stumble upon a Steven Crowder table at some college campus. It's be nice to see him debate someone who can actually argue a point.

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

You do realise that Crowder goes fully prepared, even to the extent to counter any point that may be put by the next person, while the college students aren't prepared at all? Also, Crowder isn't ever open to change his mind, I've seen videos where the next person was very calm & was putting his points correctly when Crowder just started attacking personally

[@jones1618]

Nachiket Pargaonkar Exactly! Same goes for Ben Shapiro. Watch carefully whenever they find themselves in a “fair” fight with someone with informed opinions and as soon as they start to take a punch their pitch goes up, they start to rapid fire points too fast to be countered thoughtfully and when that doesn’t work, wham!, they move the goalposts or change the subject. This speaker’s solution includes true debate with considered counterpoints. Crowder/Shapiro wouldn’t come off so smug outside of their usual commando debates

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

@@jones1618 True! Shapiro especially when it comes to religion simply isn't as efficient as he is with politics. Shapiro at least appears to listen to the next person & is generally not condescending, Crowder on the other hand goes too far right in an attempt to bash the left/liberals.

[@lornasigourney8154]

Here's common ground - for all - no matter what: we are here - together ~ we inter-are

[@KibetBrian]

Nice. Very true.

[@Jaibee27]

I would love to listen to this woman argue with her husband

[@nevesvitoria]

How do you know she has a husband?

[@Jaibee27]

@@nevesvitoria She has a ring. I don't know if she's a lesbian.

[@nevesvitoria]

@@Jaibee27 So she might have a wife not a husband, right?

[@Jaibee27]

@@nevesvitoria right. Either way

[@butn0tyet]

John Hillman been so long since I laughed out loud, suddenly and with reckless abandon. ❤️

[@egarcia1360]

I think a key strategy is to avoid trying to necessarily change someone's mind in that very instant, but rather give people something to think about for later such that they can consider the controversial issue in a new light. Most of the time, people (unfortunately) are very reluctant to admit they were wrong in the heat of the moment but may come around later on and even conduct their own research beyond the scope of the original debate, changing their minds for themselves. Rather than trying to DeStRoY LiBtArDs WiTh FaCtS aNd LoGiC, make people say to themselves, "oh, I hadn't thought of it like that; this person might actually have a point" because that's probably the best you're going to get in terms of actually persuading anyone in the short term.

[@marcoglara2012]

Wonderful TED talk. Of course this isn’t a popular video. We can’t hold on to our uniformed hardlined options if we listen.

[@lisavaughn5941]

This is where one could debate should we elect more, Givers, Takers, or Matchers for our future. It is debatable that our way of school teaching, and ways of political debating is justly outdated for todays society. To grow we need to keep up with the era, as it is always revolving. What once paved our way to set order in life and chaos, could use a updated version to pave us into a new and brighter future.

[@brooklyn1259]

now *this* i need

[@austingainesburrow678]

This lady's a genius, 5:09 😊..

[@prachisharma1957]

Wait a minute, where's my dictionary. Lot of vocabulary's here😰

[@butn0tyet]

Prachi Sharma I wonder why vocabularies are in possession of heres. Hmmm

[@taylortierney6542]

A bit to optimistic to have much of an effect on reality. First off, almost all people do not debate, they argue. They do not follow the rules of formal debate, they seek to undermine their opponent, and if they feel that they have come off the winner, then they win. If there's an audience than it is more of a popularity contest or a battle of insults than anything else. The most popular "debates" are likely the ones held during elections of nations such as America or Canada, but those are not really formal debates. To quote an article I recall reading, they are "ideological sound bites, largely devoid of policy specifics". This is what the people of North America think of when they think of debate, while formal debate is regarded as a silly thing for academic types, not something that has any use in day to day life. You do not debate with "that" family member, you yell at them until one side feels like they cannot win, one side feels like they've won, or an outside party tells you to shut up. Second, people live very different lives, and many people's personal realities share very few things in common beyond what is normal for a 21st century human. The life of a poor member of one of the scheduled tribes in Assam (one of the poorest parts of India) is radically different from a rich young son going to Dartmouth, is radically different from the life of a drag queen in Birmingham, to pick some extreme examples. Some people have such radically different values that the common human ground _does_ _not_ _matter_ to them.

[@debbiemoore2747]

But what is reality that is merely somebodys universe and how they see it, for instance and going to use quite a controversial example. Borneo. Farmers see arable land to make money, the conservationists see destruction of the forests and the orangutangs habitat. The trick is to find the common ground to move things to change for the better for the betterment of all creatures.

[@vargrhelsing8042]

it all been addressed by her: the first, is that we need more of debating, not arguing, and the whole point of this talk is how to apply it to everyday situation. This is a guide, not lecture of today world, she even shy from aligning with any political view point. The second point you made is also addressed: we find common ground, no matter how narrow, and expand it from there. Human can even empathize to inanimate objects, no matter you back ground, we can all bond over something. Its simple, in fact: songs, game, love for family, love for life, struggles, are all common human experience that everyone at least have, even people with mental condition.

[@somerandomguy3037]

But instead of arguing debate if you see one person screaming while another talking calmly who really seems like the winner exactly and I think anyone (at least any normal functioning human being) should be able to notice that they are wrong in their behaviour and will hear you out and from their have a conversation

[@kidanenugusse2028]

awesome!!!!

[@sunnyking8881]

Tragedy! Even all of mankind we are seeking same things: safety, health, happiness, peace... But we are still trapped in Uncivilized Age, fighting against each other.

[@Joshualacruz]

_"Some days it feels like the only thing we can agree on, is that we can't agree on anything."_ I've been bumping into this problem more often lately: when I am so sure of my opinion, I can't really respect another's. Like, I am open to the idea of me being wrong, and I am listening and humanising and all that. But it doesn't work. I still feel like I'm definitely right. And maybe I am, or may am not but that's not the problem really. The problem is that it really gives me a lot of frustration to know people do have different opinions (about these specific things I am so sure of), and it frustrates me even more that I can't accept them nor deem them valid in any way. Any tips on how to get over myself and not get so frustrated?

[@PaintingAndPolitics]

Bro, if you've figured it out let me know. I don't even know if you're someone I'd agree with on main topics, but I relate to your comment with each atom of my soul (not being scientific here lol) I'm young and have no life experience, but I can't help quickly developing strong opinions. This is annoying when dealing with family but tragic when looking at worldwide controversies. Knowing that many of the people I consider so deeply wrong are just as intelligent and 'good' as me DOES NOT help! I'm so depressed that even the 'good' people think and act in such 'wrong' ways! Anyway I don't actually think anyone can help me, I just needed to vent. You're not alone.

[@Joshualacruz]

@@PaintingAndPolitics Ha, now I do wonder about your opinions. 😅 But let's not, right now, ruin this small moment of agreement with potential disagreement. I have not yet figured it out. But this documentary called "The Social Dilemma" helped me be a little more mindful. It teaches (amongst other things) how easily we fall into bubbles of information on the internet. I knew it was a thing, but not that it was so precise. I realized I can barely even keep most people accountable for their opinions... It doesn't fix the problem, actually it makes the problem bigger. But at least I don't need to get _so_ frustrated. As it the problem is more common than I can imagine. Highly recommend the doc to anyone who is strongly opinionated, and especially to people like you and me. It might just calm us down a bit.

[@PaintingAndPolitics]

@@Joshualacruz I’ve been thinking about watching that, maybe now I will. And yeahhh I’d already starting doing that wondering game. Cause here I am instinctively liking you- knowing we have common ground- and yet part of me wants to know if I should stop liking you! Maybe you’re the enemy! Lol this is depressing. Thanks for the eye opening moment though- I don’t think I’d realized how biased I was towards those who disagree with me 😬 Much food for thought...

[@Joshualacruz]

@@PaintingAndPolitics I am glad I could be of some use. 😅

[@downrighthorizontal9931]

i LOVE this ted talk, really great speech with amazing ideas. i'm a big fan of this mindset. as a person with somewhat radical liberal ideas, i recognize that even though i'd love it to, the world does not operate how a single person wants it to. if we work together we move forward together, versus splitting society further apart. compromise is tough but it's necessary.

[@nicholastrice8750]

She's beautiful. On many levels.

[@johnrhodenmemorial7100]

Identity Politics is prevalent today. She is saying that is an obstacle to good discussion/debate. We need to stop assuming a person's view is defined by the group they belong to. In that case, there is by definition little to no common ground. If you achieve some common ground, if the rest is defined by identity, then I don't see how individuals can effectively debate. It's a battle of group ideology and the individuals talking to one another are quickly irrelevant.

[@aminus3765]

I'm in love.

[@jannfraulienreble1720]

Me too

[@jannfraulienreble1720]

😅

[@aminus3765]

@@jannfraulienreble1720 That comment is from two years ago. She and I got married already

[@seasong7655]

I don't think that anyone wants to be wrong. That's why discussions are pointless. Nobody will change their viewpoint.

[@BIONICLECLAYPOKEMON]

Well, you only think that because that's how you conduct yourself, no?

[@cybersquirrell1370]

forcing your viewpoint on another is next to impossible. However, if you use debates properly you can work back to the source of the conflict and make an attempt to show them why you see things differently. I say attempt because even if you do everything right, they might still disagree and that's ok too.

[@chaotic_enby2625]

That is because most people see debates as a way to prove themselves right and the other person wrong, which is a way of thinking that is not very productive. In debate, people should open themselves to new ideas, consider the arguments and think about their own and the other persons standpoint. By doing this you can open your eyes to your own biases. Of course that doesn't mean you have to let go of your own opinion, but you should actually think about what you're debating. Polarization is a big problem in political debate, especially in America, where it is all just black and white, enemy or friend, republican or democrat. I'm not saying that this problem don't exist outside of America, but it is definitely worse in America than in countries with more than two politically significant parties, like germany (where I come from). Let's just all accept that there is nuance, that there are more than just two positions possible.

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

@@chaotic_enby2625 Rightly put! Especially on social media, where anonymity even if partial adds up to bring out troll tendencies & people just refuse to change their perspectives, since these tendencies make them look stupid.

[@zhubajie6940]

Much to my disgust, our conversation that began in the Enlightenment is doomed because humility is not a virtue. Since the 1980s, the only virtue that dominates the world is to win at all cost.

[@Gripmagic]

I think that's actually been a human trait since the beginning

[@BIONICLECLAYPOKEMON]

@@Gripmagic We used to love eachother enough to treat the disabled like royalty(not literally) within our own families, before the establishment of societal structures. We are kind by nature. Human babies even show altruistic tendencies, stop buying into this god damn lie that we NEED and are WIRED to compete against eachother, it's just not reasonable.

[@LughSummerson]

SN Project People with disabilities are cared for more now than at any time in history. Social welfare and modern medicine allow the disabled to lead much fuller, happier and productive lives than ever before. In the past, how many families simply could not afford to support a severely disabled child? How many thought it was a justified punishment from the gods and treated them accordingly? How many ended up begging on the streets? How many were shipped off to sickhouses where they were brutalised? We are still the same in that we care about those who are in our tribe and still compete with other tribes. But now the tribe is no longer our family and village, it is any artificial group we chose to identify with. And we no longer literally fight and steal from neighbouring tribes, we just metaphorically fight by arguing about what's best for society. If you step back and look at what's going on, progressivism is working, things are getting better century by century and the values of the Enlightenment are spreading, just slower than we would wish. Read the history of your country and look at what your life would have been like if you had been born in the same place, in the same class exactly 100 years ago. And 200, and so on.

[@nicholastrice8750]

You're all right...

[@taylortierney6542]

Heh. Capital e enlightenment, a nebulous time period of great advancement (for certain groups of people, using methods developed and knowledge gathered by people not among those groups), from where all true virtuous thought comes from.

[@edris47]

Everything human beings do is based on competition, even conversation or debate, she is making lots of assumption, open up, to listen and so on. How person who wants to win a debate can open his or her mind, how a person who is getting ready to respond to an attack on one's idea or opinion, which person has great attachment to, and actually what person's identity is. Well at least she is selling her skills to confused people that we are, another expert who wants to get us how to communicate. If she understood what a true dialogue is, she wouldn’t talk about debate, but that is how she has been conditioned or programmed through her education and experience. Check out 'on dialogue' by David Bohm to see how dialogue is conducted and how incredibly is difficult and challenging it is..

[@XWurstbrotX]

I immediatley accept the other persons opinion to avoid an argument, because when i talk, i talk so much smack i always regret it (especially with women).

[@FantasyParade28]

Where can I listen to an audio version of this talk?

[@nelsona9381]

First of all we cant convince anyone.they should accept their flaws first and decide to make a good connection to your words if not we're just talking to a wall.

[@jus1taj]

Mr. Rodgers FTW!

[@johnrainsman6650]

This is a little off topic, I guess, but I think this is the type of video I can share my story on. You could say it involves a "disagreement." Once, I was telling this new coworker how the k95 masks feel on me (after I stated he was lucky he and others don't have to mask up in school), but two of my other coworkers said something like "that's enough" or "let's not talk about that"? See, I guess in the past, I had expressed a bit too much my opinions that face masks aren't so necessary and Covid isn't so dreadful? I don't know. I guess they wanted to stop me from being a negative nellie or something. Later, I *more or less* said to one of them, "Just for the record, I was just casually saying the masks make my nose feel congested, pointing out the irony." Something like that. She shook her head and said "I don't care." What do you guys think? Was that really wrong and obnoxious of her? In fact, was it immoral for her and the other to, as far as I'm concerned, "gang up" on me? Maybe they could and _should_ have handled it differently, especially since there was a new guy here? Why make me out to be the "bad guy," just by lecturing me in front of him. I feel disagreeing with someone can somewhat be the same as ganging up on a person, especially if you _and_ a partner disagree with said person.

[@zeenyzee]

"Debate requires that we separate ideas from the identity of the person discussing them" But isn’t this statement a paradox by itself? In real life, an idea stems from a person and that idea must have come from an agenda that person has right?

[@deborahmika2864]

Perhaps Mrs May should watch this?

[@weebslime]

So... how to debate a person that won't pay attention to our arguments?

[@Rnwithtech]

Very nice dear

[@elisapark1467]

Before anything, we all need to understand the overdramatized or under undermined consequences of neglected Equal Lawful Opportunities and Human/Civil rights, including as Julia mentioned, dismissive behavior of municipal workers, which should not have ripple effect at home between family members but many people besides me carry work stress, vice versa, to home and home stress to work.

[@katiekat4457]

Excellent. That is how congress should work. They shouldn’t know who is sponsoring the bill and have the republicans assign 1 republican to argue for and 1 person to argue against and the democrats should do exactly the same 1 democrat person for and 1 person against. But both the dem-pro, dem-against, rep-for, & rep-against should each do it in front of all republicans and democrats for that say all of the senate hears 2 people speak for and 2 people speak against and this debater should be volunteers or maybe assigned as debating as part of their job and none of the debators or the senate should know who sponsored the bill until after it is voted on and has also passed by the president so there is no changing of the discussion once it’s made it completely through. And if nobody wants to argue against the proposal then the debate portion could be skipped all together and put straight up for voting and passing it though pass the president. This divided party thing needs to stop of within 60 to at most 100 years our government will crumble and people will rebel against the government. The senate and the house of representatives are supposed to be representing the people of their state. We are supposed to be voting for candidates that want want we want. We are not supposed to be picking between to polar opposite parties and what the parties stand for. We are supposed to be voting for people not parties. And when elected these reps and senators are supposed to be voting for what their people want from their state and NOT for what the party is telling them to vote for. The president should be mutual when taking office and not the leaders of one of two parties. If a president has a good idea that benefits the whole country then it should be voted through and not intentiionally stopped by the opposing party. And same goes if the president has a bad idea then if should be voted down by everyone and not passed through by his party just because he is part of the party. I said 60-100 years. I hardly doubt it will take that long before a serious uprising against our government will come. America will fall if this 2 extremely opposite parties keep going like this. It’s not right. In the olden days a president was elected by who had the most votes the vice president was elected because he had the 2nd most votes which also made him the opposite party to the president and smoothed things over. They should still do it that way at the very least. Although I have a brand new way of doing it but the two parties have so much money and power that is doesn’t matter how great my plan is. I and my educated assortment would be squashed like bugs. And there would no longer be any person attacked at debates. It would be the subject at hand only. And no crying about the president that preceded you. I wish I had my whole plan and everyone involved all set and put together but I don’t yet and I don’t know that I will put myself through this tough fight to put the power back into the people’s hands and make congress respresent us like they were meant to do.

[@joshuakim4402]

10:24-10:34

[@sosoanninhk]

I still didn’t figure out how to disagree, find the common ground and win the debate...... can someone help..

[@donbeissel2965]

In today’s world of celebrating stupidity and dumbing down everything, humanity can’t do this.

[@YOLO-tq3el]

So disagree to agree on new ideas until a common ground is reached.

[@nicholastrice8750]

Or agree to disagree in search of common ground until you agree on something, and work from there until you both cross a bridge together.

[@MajkaSrajka]

Let me guess before I watch - don't do this in the comment section or on social media? :P

[@kissthesky9969]

It's sad that there is even a speech on how to talk to each other

[@karma5732]

Pov your here cuz thus is the video you have to watch for probation 😂

[@emilyfishie]

So everyone be like Socrates and engage in face-to-face discourse assuming you dont know everything about the world. I couldn't agree more actually

[@michaelpastoors639]

some topics don't need to be debated, discussed etc because there is no uncertainty. E.g. murder/rape is wrong. My idea as that we don't need to debate/discuss so much as we need to love those we disagree with. Easier said then done.

[@NordicFireDKK]

Ok I actually learned something, holy fk XD At start i was a bit meh about this video, but the more in depth she went, the better it became. I really liked it ^^

[@khemmeta]

"The right to an education. The equality of all people. The importance of safer communities." Not a single one of those is a consensus issue in America.

[@hanimay6843]

I don't argue or debate. I assert my superior knowledge of an issue. I could't care less if I change the other person's mind. It's all about getting them to lose their composure and get personal. That's just a way for me to keep my self-esteem up. If you can't handle it then get out of my way. I've gone from a mute to expressing myself to whoever, where ever and whenever I choose and it feels fantastic. All I have are my words and you better believe than whenever I choose to use them I'm out for blood.

[@elisapark1467]

And Julia D, you talk too fast but I agree on many level in this talk because my viewpoint matter as well as yours as long as both conversationalists has sensitivity, respect, sensibility, and etiquette before hard rules because that also hard rule is not absolute truth in many situations.