How to drop a handkerchief: women initiate relationships

[@psychacks]

Women must take an increasingly active approach to dating as they age. They do this by reclaiming their power to initiate interactions with men. By "dropping a handkerchief," women signal that they would be amenable to an overture, which significantly alters the risk-reward profile of a cold approach. In this episode, I discuss one way women can do this: the "come hither stare." Pre-order my book: amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women

[@dontreadmyname4396]

PLEASE do a video on what to do when a woman is being dishonest and soft ghosting you or acting distant inside a relationship, if she is angry at you or doesnt like you anymore but pretends everything is alright when you ask her why the lack of talking, if she says constantly she is going to do something but never saying when or never saying she doesnt want to do it what to do with a woman that lies to avoid saying harsh truths or to avoid having conflicts with her man???

[@ZoldicsDiaries]

This video is reuploaded???

[@oliviae369]

@@dontreadmyname4396 If she is soft ghosting you, angry at you without explaining why, and not making you feel good about being in a relationship with her, then beat her to the punch and end things. B/c she is probably gearing up to do that as she gets her ducks in a row. There are many great women out here that will value you, - all you have to do is make a woman feel valued, respected and adored.

[@nielevans2947]

@psychacks I feel like, as a man, I don't know how to act in this type of situation. Am I supposed to lock eyes and smile back till she break eye contact, and then slowly make my approach?

[@BlueBirdgg]

Congratz on 500k.

[@uminchu59]

Funny story: 40 years ago my male buddy, in an attempt to break the ice with a lady sitting at the bar, dropped a $20 behind her, reached to pick it up, and asked her she dropped it. She thanked him, took the money, and didn't even look back.

[@rayrwyr]

😄

[@d5555]

That's about $60 in today's money. Expensive lesson.

[@testthewest123]

@@d5555 60 bucks is nothing for a lesson like this.

[@thelaggymonster]

@@d5555 Cheaper than a date, pretty low cost way to filter out a bad egg

[@GrnXnham]

100% worth it. Showed a lack of character. Move to the next one.

[@BlueBirdgg]

Orion phrase of the week: "I see you and you see me and I see you seeing me and you see me seeing you"

[@johnthegreat97]

My brain gained another wrinkle when he said that. It tickled the right area

[@M0viLover]

Ha, ha. I wonder *how long* / many times he practiced *that* part of the draft, before filming?

[@manzimucyophilemon8324]

Have you watched the first 5 minutes of the movie “Rango”???

[@BlueBirdgg]

@@user-icu152 wrong "top" comment.

[@rortys.kierkegaard9980]

Aren’t they so ‘stunning and brave’ in their interactions…

[@rahulshrivastava1651]

A woman did this to me 7 years ago for several weeks and me being shy I never approached her until she got fed up and found me on social media and initiated a conversation. Long story short, I'm married to her now. 😮

[@MidnightPolaris800]

Best of luck in the divorce

[@srikrishnavasanth3895]

​@@MidnightPolaris800 don't be too jealous

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

@@srikrishnavasanth3895 Romanticizing?

[@kaisalis7895]

​@@srikrishnavasanth3895 Jealous of being in a contract which royally f*cks you if the woman ever decides to break it?

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@kaisalis7895 Jealous of being in a relationship where they made a lifelong committment that has a 65% chance of working out for a lifetime. That's a lot to be envious of, and that's ok.

[@mrheatibmor]

Orion is right ladies, I almost wanted to fight him when he looked into the Camera.

[@badistbrother8384]

Had me in on the floor. 😂

[@RedERscrubs]

😂😂😂

[@EriPages]

Almost? I'm currently booking a flight ✈️ to his state to get this party started.

[@omar47hitman]

I punched the screen

[@jorgeglez7088]

@@EriPages 😂

[@missyelious]

Orion doing the eye contact flirting impression is the funniest thing I've seen all week 😂🎉❤

[@hoi-polloi1863]

Yeah... he's a savvy man, but his flower isn't drawing a lot of butterflies, namsain?

[@ajones8008]

Girl dropped her cell phone: Not only did I get her number, I got a free phone upgrade. Didn't even have to talk to her!

[@zzzzzzzz3454]

Bahahaha

[@testthewest123]

Nice!

[@ZoldicsDiaries]

This video is reuploaded???

[@TheTektronik]

Good on you man. 🤣

[@Tnc874]

😂

[@eric_linden]

Great advice for women. No woman has ever done this to me; but if they had, they would have gotten a response.

[@tedarcher9120]

Because we ugly

[@eric_linden]

@@tedarcher9120 Speak for yourself. I’m not ugly. Just never got the three second stare from a woman I didn’t already know.

[@SteveHofsaess]

@@eric_linden You probaly did, but did not put it all together

[@fleetadmiralsidiqi1941]

​@@tedarcher9120 People don't respect keeping it real these days. Much respect ✌️

[@iamtesting3824]

i will never know. When you talk you look at him/her (eye contact) anyone. This has been and always be. Just how i communicate.

[@PossiblyAzrael]

I made a large comment thread somewhere online that blew up about this topic. Here was the comment: Basically most guys don't go around approaching every woman. Only a tiny select do. Those that do usually fall into the category of guys that will approach most women. The rest of the sane guys who have some soul left in them tend to wait for signals when it's the right moment. So yeah, if you run into a guy bold enough to make moves on you without you "dropping the handkerchief" he could likely do that to other women too.

[@kakerake6018]

So the guys are supposed to sit around and wait for a woman to approach?

[@PossiblyAzrael]

@@kakerake6018 no, but having a “handkerchief” can filter for different types of guys

[@keithbyrd7566]

Guys should initiate eye contact just like women can. It is an easy way to gauge her interest and get a reaction with being directly rejected.

[@AndrewAdawa]

"Bold enough to make moves" and being able to make moves on many ladies, is a plus for any type of guy. For those men waiting for the handkerchief drop, you are limiting your options, and obviously, you can do better. This video is for women ONLY. There's no message in it for guys. It's telling women to be bold, which doesn't automatically mean men should wait for the handkerchief always.

[@PossiblyAzrael]

@@AndrewAdawa never said it was good or bad. Just a side effect being that a cohort of those men won’t be that into her. Some will do it for sport.

[@drwayne_carter9115]

There is not a more heart-racing, butterfly inducing, nerve-wracking thing in the world for a grown man than the 'come here' stare from an attractive woman in a social setting.

[@MidnightPolaris800]

😂😂😂😂😂 this has to be a troll

[@drwayne_carter9115]

@@MidnightPolaris800 I can tell you've never experienced this from a super attractive girl.

[@truthhurts7]

Happened to me today at the gym as she was with her friends just giggling in a corner while I was practicing (I dance break’). It was intense, we locked eyes for a solid 2.5 seconds and I just continued on. Perhaps another day I’ll pull up on her, perhaps not 😂

[@rhenriksen]

Both my marriage, and an 8+ year LTR, were initiated by the women. I respected both of them for having the balls to do so.

[@SD-mi2vc]

So their trans 🙃

[@gomezfriesen]

3 seconds of eye contact beween men at a bar, "Might have a fight on our hands". Ha ha ha. Sooo true!

[@John3v8]

😂

[@Khan-rz8qi]

What me and my guys call this phenomenon is: Choosing Signals. Generally, you will know when women are interested in you, some will tell you straight up and some will do it indirectly. The point is women know exactly how to attract their male counterparts. I think the bigger problem is that women don’t find most men attractive enough to put in the effort. For women, the problem is mostly based on lack of attractive male prospects.

[@paulcolin9071]

Even then they have too many options if only theoretical a bit like that theory of 150 people in a tribe

[@elinope4745]

I have that problem too. We need a radical increase of pretty baby girls.

[@MichaelGlitzos]

It’s highly likely that the internet and social media has men and women stuck on their highest setting. They’re too busy chasing what’s attractive that they miss out on something that might work and the illusion of infinite opportunities means sacrificing that there might be a better option out there.

[@carlospita6442]

That is why I have no empathy for them when Chad uses them

[@christianrodriguez5346]

@@carlospita6442 Facts.

[@dificulttocure]

I want to point out that, as Orion says, this is just the bare minimum. If you want to get actually good results, you should be doing much more than this. But if you are doing nothing at all, then doing this is a step up definitely. Also, this will only work with guys that are not used to women looking and smiling at them, which is 95% of us. But the other 5% have women doing this to them all the time, hence this won't be enough to get those guys.

[@EriPages]

Correct.

[@detroitvcw]

Yea for sure. Just because a woman looks at you for three seconds doesn't mean she's interested. She may be interested in something you have on, or doing, or simply wanting the validation/attention from you to bolster her ego. I agree there should be a series of signs to seal the deal, not just eye contact. If it is just eye contact, it better be some level of seduction behind it, or multiple takes of her looking at you..not just 1 three second look. Too many nuances for that to be a solution.

[@u2b83]

Before even that, she has to notice you lol I'm putting odds at 1:10000 that you get the eye thing + convo + date + sx This is about the background rate for a win once every decade lol

[@jameshanna-mp7er]

Yup. I get this regularly, i never respond, it's a oathetic level of female effort, if you want to say something, come over and open your mouth and speak.

[@jth_printed_designs]

One correction: it WILL be enough to “get” those guys, just not for what they want. Those guys understand the signals and they can just take that woman for a potential easy lay, but the odds of her being better than all of the other dozens of women is extremely low.

[@pmaitrasm]

Victorian values for modern women? We should have hope. Good effort, Dr. Taraban. As a word of caution for all, you can take a horse to the water, but you cannot force it to drink.

[@ephraimwinslow]

"Last word: I can't lie to you about your chances... but... you have my sympathies. :)" -Ash, ALIEN

[@Ibeturhot42069]

You can drown it.

[@user-jg5xm8um8y]

Wasn’t there a lot of debauchery in Victorian times too?

[@immortaljanus]

@@user-jg5xm8um8y Well, occasionally someone might show a bare ankle... in public.

[@jessecortez9449]

You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Simply make it thirsty. Be worth a women's thirst.

[@doublemintmaple]

I gotta say, the art for the thumbnails is always spectacular!

[@CarlDIY]

I’m currently in university. Dr. Orion is right. However, most women will still reject you even conversation is going well. But, it’s not a loss because u gain experience everytime you interact with women.

[@Kritikanbringer]

Only a loss of time.

[@SnlDrako]

Experience is worthless if I learn fuckall from it.

[@kathleenschaefer9023]

When I see a man I want to meet I look and smile then give a slight flirtatious wink, then look away and back again. It never fails to make a man smile. He may not come over, but he smiles. It’s fun! I’ve been in sales all my life so rejection doesn’t bother me. They know nothing about me really other than what I look like. It’s a numbers game after all. 😊

[@cheekymonkeygirl3378]

You're old so they don't want damaged goods.,

[@hakanulukavak]

​@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 that was below the belt 😂

[@Leoo117]

​@cheekymonkeygirl3378 Nah, she's a cute one. I'd approach her. And with her kind of confidence, it would likely be easy to enjoy her company.

[@LaciRae]

every woman knows how to give a man the come hither gaze. but i’ve never thought to wink. that’s cute.

[@LaciRae]

@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 your time is inevitably coming. & You don’t have an endearing personality to make up for it.

[@jilladams7573]

I once knew a woman that wasn't that attractive, but had a circle of gorgeous women friends and she would brag about being approached by guys every time she went out, while her friends didn't get half the attention she did. One night I decided to go out with them and 'observe.' Turned out the woman actively invited that attention every time by actively seeking out guys with her gaze, open body posture, smiles, dancing, etc. So if anyone's reading this and they don't get approached by men, here's a massive hint for you, and good luck 😊 Edit: Just wanted to add that there are a LOT of predatory men out there who objectify women and are only interested in her age, her body and how she looks and to be careful, also. I know a lot of people already know this, but just wanted to point it out to the people who didn't.

[@JJ-vp3bd]

whats the hint

[@Mersak168]

@@JJ-vp3bd The one in the video.

[@karinalebedeva7335]

As a woman, I agree. And it’s actually one of the few things I like in being a woman. You can always smile, ask for a small help the person that you like. It is just giving them a chance to interact with you and showing that you are also up to this interaction.

[@lawrencevaughn9149]

Okay the look is not going to be enough, but if you do do that you have to do it a couple times because nowadays guys have gotten a little too cautious😅 And we don't read it very well. But the smile definitely does help especially if it's more of a central smile and not a platonic friendly smile

[@searlearnold2867]

Yes ladies, if you're frustrated that you're not getting dates or meeting men, you need to learn this as a basic first step and get over your shyness or fear. Opportunity doesn't disappear, it just finds someone else. Just make sure you are receiving a look of interest and a smile back. Soft eyes and a smile are pretty much all it takes to get a date and opportunity for something more.

[@daisymag6903]

Orion, you forget to smile when you were looking at him during one second ❤😊

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

Most be a western or american thing. If we meet eye contact with a guy all suspciions dissapear when one of us say a simple greeting or a "YOH! brother" with a friendly gesture to add.

[@feonline9789]

@@CyberPunkBadGuy what country are you from?

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

@@feonline9789 I wont tell some randomm person where I am from, but I will tell you its not western. Why do you ask?

[@FilmChick2001]

I was waiting for the smile too 😂

[@autarko]

Ladies: "we want to find a husband" Orion: "Easy, find an attractive man and look at him" This is embarrassing!

[@KeyaCares]

Thanks Dr. T for showing the ladies how to do it. That was a beautiful reenactment

[@implode_]

3 seconds direct contact in a bar to initiate a fight. So interesting how/why this is, but it's true. I've mastered this technique down to 1 second and we're off to the races.

[@midnightsplusnoonsis730LEO]

Matrix bullet time ?

[@AncientTrogloxene]

Glad you got around to publishing this presentation. Good to have an obvious counterpoint to the myth that in every culture across the globe it is guys who always initiate. This still leaves room for one or more presentations with greater nuance, historical perspective, or literary examples.

[@michaelread328]

"I'm nervous about being rejected" "Ya don't fuckin' say?!" I fell out of my chair laughing. Think I rewinded that part like 5x.

[@johnanon658]

Men got that, and the fear of like having the police called on them

[@Wobbothe3rd]

It's bs, that isn't the reason why women don't risk rejection, that's just what they SAY.

[@IfSemper]

Ha, ha...he made me laugh out loud at that, too. - April L.

[@marcuschauvin7039]

Lol!!!

[@zeroceiling]

As painful as it is…I think a woman getting rejected probably represents a higher cost to her than to a guy. To a guy, approaching tends to signal: “hey I’m approaching because that’s kind of what I do…with getting a phone number being a decent first score. A woman soliciting being approached tends to signal more of..” hey..with all other things being dispensed with, if I do this, there is an above average chance that I may be seeking more than just a phone number and a coffee. I argue that her stakes become higher than the guys in those situations.

[@roberthallam1477]

I had this exact scenario happen to me across a crowded room at my 50th HS reunion. It was a classic "I see you, you see me......". The result was a rekindling of a lovely friendship.

[@sourapril]

Seduction with your eye is a skill that can be learned. Some people are naturally born with it but others can learn and become good. Once you master the skill it's hard to turn it off. You literally have to avoid eye contact with pretty much everyone or you would attract unwanted attention even if you don't wear make up and dress in sweat shirt.

[@kakerake6018]

Seduction with your eyes only work if the person is attracted to you… or you’re attractive. Otherwise you are deemed a creep

[@leviathon2]

​@@kakerake6018Word

[@SPACEDOUT19]

Women of all ages give you the signals if they like how you look, you just have to notice. You can try and make the first step, but just so you know, she already made her mind up about you in the first 2 seconds she saw you.

[@ephraimwinslow]

It's actually kinda sad when guys realize in hindsight that the 4-5 (middling) women who were unexpectedly nice to them over the course of their life were only informing them that they were *juuust* above the not people line. At the time.

[@synsynsy]

​@@ephraimwinslownot people line...

[@ephraimwinslow]

@@synsynsy Y'know how other than your own mom, women are really, *really* mean on average? Yeah, that's because if they don't consider you subjectively attractive? You don't qualify for personhood in their eyes. You're like a stray dog they wouldn't let into their yard.

[@ephraimwinslow]

@@synsynsy Be subjectively attractive, or be viewed like an unwashed stray. Those are the only options.

[@motorbreath22]

You ever had a very good looking female friend talking to you at a bar and all of a sudden you're hot shit.. but when you're by yourself it's crickets ? Can't trust a lot of women, they out here competing against each other but not for you, you're just a symbol of their competition, not real people.

[@lucasley20]

Dr. Taraban, this is platinum information! I will be sharing this with ALL my single ladies!

[@TransgirlsEnjoyer]

this is the minimum, it still puts onus on men and makes the vulnerable to rejection and mockery

[@lucasley20]

​@nerozero_ great point!

[@bethco99]

This is feminine manifestation 101 I absolutely love it. Good luck ladies I hope you all find your match.

[@fanfanthomas9688]

That's the "Galadriel look" to Frodo right before boarding the ship at the Grey Havens

[@CyberWisdom2.0]

I'm male & I have no afraid of rejection but afraid that it would go wrong because she don't want to get approached

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

What is there to be afraid of besides rejection? The worst case scenario is she's bitchy and really annoyed that you disturbed her. That just means she's not worth dating. Most women will fairly politely decline if they aren't interested. Some will be very gracious and encouraging about it. Occasionally some will say yes. But they need to be single and willing to take a chance on a stranger to say yes.

[@CentralBankofTruth]

I was at a conference once where a girl didn't just drop the handkerchief. She dropped her whole walk-in closet. So, I made a move and got her number. Then, we found a quiet spot and got to know each other a little. She was 10 years younger than me. Ultimately, it fizzled out quick. I wasn't looking for anything long distance and I get the feeling she thought I was much younger, though that might have just been me overthinking things. For some reason I can't help thinking being 34 is a turn off for girls in their 20s. Anyway, yeah, great advice for the ladies out there and on point as always. It worked in the 1800s and still works to this day.

[@racalu1993]

Let the girl be the judge of that. You do your thing and never feel insecure for having options, experience and resources! The best is yet to come when you’re in your 30’s

[@RaniaW-be2zl]

honestly, as a 26yo female, not necessarily. it has pros and cons. I have a friend who's 24 married to a (broke) 40 yo, they have been through very similar things in life and understand each other perfectly. most girls would not want a broke older man though. again, it has to do with pros and cons. that guy brings her a lot of pros even if none of them are monetary. I wish men in that age bracket approached me, until then I don't know if they're good or not.

[@CentralBankofTruth]

@@RaniaW-be2zl Gotcha. Yeah, as the saying goes there aren't any solutions, only trade-offs, right? Just depends what you're looking for. I'm not wealthy by any stretch but I'm doing better than most my age fortunately. Definitely looking to settle down, but I'm not convinced most girls in their early, mid, and even their late 20s are wanting the same anymore though I'm sure some do. Funny thing is, that's the exact age group I get the most attention from not that I'm complaining. Most guys would probably say "hey, enjoy it" blah blah blah, whatever, but I don't want any flings or situationships. I want a wife and a family to take care of. She's out there somewhere.

[@RaniaW-be2zl]

@@CentralBankofTruth wishing you well brother. I’m that girl, so we’re out there. I’m sure there’s a pot for every lid. may God put those who should be in our lives where they should be.

[@CentralBankofTruth]

​@@RaniaW-be2zlAmen! 🙏

[@timuryorkart]

There were a number of times when I picked up on those very same "eye stare signals," just to be shut down upon approach, no questions asked. That is to say... sometimes the signaling party has a buggy operating system hindering its performance.

[@Cee_Eff]

Happened to me way too many times. Unfortunately, my subconscious equates to the the "prank stare"

[@fanfanthomas9688]

"Plausible deniability" fun/shythetest

[@thuhanguyen7094]

Ladies, I‘ve been intuitively doing this. It WORKS every single time! Dress nicely, smell good, respect yourself, go alone WITHOUT ur girlfriends (they will be jealous along the way). Be a flower in a garden and drop it boldly with class. There is NOT ONCE that a guy didnt approach me after that glance. 😂

[@janushomer9111]

so, why aren't you married? They left after sex?

[@thuhanguyen7094]

As long as the screening and filtering men who are not suitable for me takes, there will be no sex involved. If u‘re a woman writing this, i wish u a successful love life without any jealousy and envy. If u‘re a man, I hope someone will drop a handkerchief to you soonly. Dont be so desperate 😊

[@pmaitrasm]

@@janushomer9111, Perhaps it is neither her fault nor the men’s. Perhaps the men really liked her but stayed away from the family court system. Men and women, both can be victims here.

[@janushomer9111]

@@pmaitrasm why are you simping?

[@pmaitrasm]

@@janushomer9111, I am neither blue pilled, nor red pilled. I am white pilled. I try to be fair.

[@johnahn1117]

I love how you have brothers’ backs, but can say what we’re feeling gently, without the anger and frustration and indignation. Hopefully the message gets across.

[@spontaneousbootay]

women also get close to you if they are interested but the eyes are the clearest signal

[@Mike-xq7ib]

Thanks for informing the masses Orion. As a man I appreciate the message and hope a few catch on.

[@sayuri3917]

The problem is that we have few opportunities for in-person social interactions. The last time I was interested in a guy, I started the conversation virtually in a subtle and very friendly way. I didn't expose myself and it generated a very fun virtual interaction. He didn't ask me out, I think he isn't interested, but in any case, it was worth the experience. Furthermore, whether a man or a woman, we need to remember that rejection does not reflect our value, but rather compatibility. Thinking this way also takes away some weight and alleviates the fear of being dumped. We will never know what the other is looking for, their preferences and the timing of their lives. And we women still need to remember that it is unlikely that a man will feel offended by a look, a note or a message. Even if he's not interested, even if we're not his ideal type, I'm sure he wouldn't be offended if we were polite, fun and knew how to get out of the picture if we weren't reciprocated. We women forget that men don't receive as many compliments as we do.

[@DavidMatias79]

Re: in-person opportunities - go to a coffee shop, go to a bookstore, go to church, volunteering, go to a park, go to a bar, go to a museum, go to a networking event, conference, sports game, dance class, the mall, downtown, farmers markets, Home Depot, meetups of all kinds - don't wear headphones and don't move quickly through the space . . . It's not May 2020, people are outside doing things. "The problem" is not a problem. Make opportunities.

[@ddanielsmc]

@@sayuri3917 I agree with your sentiments. I wish men didn't receive some of the flack they do get when seeking a romantic relationship. I had a female boss and got on very well with her. She told me when she met her husband it was in a club. However, initially when his friend came up to her to see what she thought (he was quite young at age 19 - she was around 10 years older) she responded with verbal abuse i.e. swearing. They did get together and had two children and married. She did show remorse at her horrible treatment of him. However, whenever she's asked how they met, she has the unhappy memory. I've not experienced any flack from women but then I was lucky (this isn't me boasting) that I received interest from them first. I do appreciate that and also, appreciate the challenges men face as, like many of us, seen it. As long as we all remain respectful of eachother then, we can get along. I do like your point regarding compatibility 😀I hope you find your soulmate.

[@katarinacestmoi]

No handkerchief… but I have a gym towel 😂

[@majagorsic]

😂😂😂

[@Cakez253]

Or a sweaty gym glove in my case 😂

[@awsambdaman]

That would probably work

[@MrSomsoc]

We will take anything at this point.

[@katarinacestmoi]

@@MrSomsoc I’d love to know what signs men give because there are a couple of guys I see at my gym, we’ve smiled at each other but they still don’t say anything. I’m working on being more approachable but I also think if a guy doesn’t approach the first time, is he maybe just not interested or available?

[@captdramamine]

Doc... your come hither demonstration had me wanting to get up and walk across my living room hahaha. The single ladies need to learn this

[@NancyBuckley-nu8hc]

This totally works. It worked with the man.I was married 24 thirty four years. He passed away so I'm single now but just haven't found anybody I want to give that look to yet.

[@2Oldcoots]

Thank You for the key to the lock sir. Widower here. My future wife of 34 happy years (lucky sure) was sitting next to me at a table when I felt her shoeless toes brush my ankle...twice. Why twice? The first time I wasn't sure what it was. The second time I knew and looked into her eyes....with my slowly increasingly hungry eyes and she looked back.....for a second. Out.

[@LastEarBender]

This is one of your best and most accurate videos, doc. Nicely done

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

Dont think many men would be falling into these SUBTLE HINTS. Women will have to accept times had change, start approaching far more often and risk their egos. These signal things are so attractive to them because they can deny the entire interaction, negative and 0 commitment. Initiating anything with someone like that is not appealing and shows that they are more than willing to switch up, flop, bait and lie about any interactions for whatever trivial reasons they feel like in the moment. its simply cowardice.

[@sirphil13]

It's usually an unconscious process in most women, men just need to have an awareness (a learned skill called "observing ego") of our proximity when she does drop a handkerchief.

[@sirphil13]

It also helps, for men, to burn into our memory the "indicator of interest from women" (web search it).

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

sane men dont care, the world is growing and changing. What men need to do is to ignore and avoid such people via such women with their frivalous cowardice signals. its 2024 , she is gonna hve to pick her dirty hankercheif off the floor, no one its taking the bait, no one sane at least.

[@detroitvcw]

Yea but at the same time, there are nuances/convolution in the dating landscape to where even "dropping the handkerchief" is not a sure sign that a woman is interested. A 3 second look could mean Alot of things outside of her being interested in you, and some guys naturally respond to that. I would argue that most guys do respond, but since the handkerchief action is so convoluted that guys don't respond with it being a sure sign to approach. It at least has to be multiple takes of it to rid of the nuances.

[@merrittpalmer4349]

@@detroitvcw As a straight man who is exceptional at reading people, women make it VERY obvious when they're interested in you. Most men are just completely oblivious and lack the social IQ.

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

@@detroitvcw The fact that it gives her plausible deniability also opens up that it can mean anything. Its a paradox in its own. If it was a sign that it was for you to approach then women would not do it because it denied her any plausable deniability. The fact that it is not a clear sign and it can mean anything is what gives it plausible deniability to begin with, which is why women use random signs that can mean anything and not even women knows other women sign, its just a way for them to place their cowardice and expectations and wants unto another than themself because they are too weak minded and weak willed.

[@brandonmontgomery7461]

I saw you staring at me, square up Dr. Orion! All jokes aside, great video!

[@michaelpilos]

Passing this message for decades ❤

[@Heyheywereallfriendshere]

It's baffling to me this isn't some hardwired thing in women, it's been my go to since the first time I was at a high school party years ago. But I also smoke cigarettes, especially when out, so "got a light?" is a way for me to take more initiative, and get more up close and personal. I also recommend asking a question about something in the environment, or just complementing him and walking away but not leaving, that's called the "fluff and retreat" learned it from my childhood favorite, Aquamarine. It goes like this "fluff his ego, then walk away, not only is he left wanting more, but he's under the impression that it's his idea". That's the biggest thing I've noticed with guys, regardless of how obviously I "drop my handkerchief" they need to believe it's their idea, and by God they usually will so you can be pretty friggin obvious!

[@SophieGW350]

We need more of these easy to perform tips, definately going to try this

[@fps_spicy]

can you make a video going in depth on how to emotionally stimulate girls? love your content ❤

[@abconetwo3]

yes

[@forthejourney4053]

It's called conversation

[@fps_spicy]

very helpful also Orion might know some other stuff he learned through his experience

[@wyansas]

I never approach without getting good eye contact first. Just one instance in my life of getting the "Why are you talking to me?" look after approaching is enough to make me never want that to happen again.

[@Nathaniel-ft8qi]

Nevermind Orion's riduculous "come hither" demonstration because it only works when women use it on men. If a man does it to a woman it can be a rather creepy stare.

[@josephchiu2193]

Man this video made my day, I have a male friend that's mastered eye contact between friends and I found it infectious, this explains so much, its really intimate thing to do

[@sunstarsmoon]

I reeled in one of my favorite boyfriends this way. It absolutely worked! Made eye contact, then walked away. Within five seconds he was following me and we had a 3 year incredible time.

[@Smartcom5]

… until _you_ messed it up, right? 🙃 There you have it. You may haven't dropped the handkerchief, but the end of story. I'm just trying to be a gentleman! ♥

[@RaniaW-be2zl]

@@Smartcom5 bro ask yourself why you felt the need to be so bitter in a KZbin comment, to someone you've never seen before seriously reconsider your life choices. nobody that is happy would write that.

[@Smartcom5]

@@RaniaW-be2zl How do you figure I might be allegedly bitter? I'm not, not at all. Her wording alone of 'reeling in' her former boyfriend this way, gave it away. Since for her it was just a game, while playing likely with emotions on his ends.

[@sunstarsmoon]

@@Smartcom5 What? It was a fling and we both knew that. I'm currently married to another man, my husband of 31 years.

[@Peteristrate]

Alpha Widows exists. 31 years into the marriage, and she still can't forget that Alpha that once arranged her guts.

[@ThePhabulousYvelise]

This is all exactly right and works! I have always been a natural flirt and somehow mastered this when I was around 18. I then read about this in a book too.

[@leoross9817]

what is the book's name?

[@ThePhabulousYvelise]

@@leoross9817 Every woman should read this. But there is a chapter on the flirting technique.

[@ThePhabulousYvelise]

@@leoross9817 Getting To I Do by Patricia Allen.

[@pei0476]

I appreciate this video clip. Thank you so much for teaching us women. 😊

[@theculturedgentleman3699]

I need to get your book when it releases. Your content is just golden

[@sylvianne374]

Thank you I really need to give it a try

[@7MileDae]

A girl at work did this to me after I talked to her shortly earlier in the day and I mean mugged her because I thought she was judging me or something, even though I looked mean we stayed looking at each other for like 5 seconds and she looked away, I was confused by that “signal” and thought she wanted a staring contest or something, but I know now💀

[@nadersefidabi5586]

This is gold! Why aren't mothers teaching this to their daughters?!!!!

[@BS_Profile]

Because that one specific guy that she really likes is supposed to read her mind lol.

[@Smartcom5]

You know about the saying that they hate each other, right? They make it deliberately difficult (even upon themselves; which makes them miserable), even for their own daughters. Something something misery and company. Since if she as the mother didn't had the opportunity of getting -with- the man she wanted to have in the long run, than her daughter shouldn't have that privilege either, duh!

[@kiddytube3915]

Because they don’t actually know.

[@Smartcom5]

@@kiddytube3915 That's nonsense, as mothers deliberately withhold such knowledge from their daughters. 'Cause it would actually help!

[@toxicmale2264]

Wom understand how to do these things from a young age. The first man they practice on is usually their father, or closest male role model.

[@LizaNaude]

That 3 second look got me going Dr! This was fun, thanks.

[@sirphil13]

This is risky, dark triad women tend to attract a victim by a Psychopathic Stare, it's predatory. They tend to be super cute looking, charming and highly intelligent. She'll set you up like a king, then she'll burn your whole kingdom down.

[@meliciaoliveira9895]

😂😂😂😂

[@toxicmale2264]

I can't tell if you are roasting or wooing.

[@emmar9104]

hahaha the looks, that is so endearing. so charming. you make a persuasive argument. thank you!

[@charlesdexterward7781]

The come hither stare has been abbreviated to the "Come, HR" stare.

[@EriPages]

Lmao. Unfortunately, I have found this correct...personally.

[@Greg-lw4zb]

LOL!

[@LittleMew133]

I remember petting a dog in someone's backyard while the party was going on. Random dude striked up a convo, getting weirder by the seconds. So I asked where the bathroom was and hid in there for a while. Excellent strategy, would recommend.

[@MidnightPolaris800]

Nice 😂😂😂😅

[@TideV2]

Women already do this and 10x more but only when they’re seriously interested. If she likes you it’ll literally be impossible to not know unless she’s extremely shy. Difference is today women don’t want most men, and most men don’t want most women.

[@cheekymonkeygirl3378]

Well said. We only throw ourselves at top-tier men and ignore the 90%

[@AlekNovy]

That is true, and the doc seems to be missing this. It's not that women today don't throw the handkerchief. Even the women who claim they don't know how to meet men are perfectly happy to throw themselves at a high-tier chad. It's only when a woman is around men closer to her own level that she will stand around, and wait for a man to do all the work without her giving signals. Get a high-tier guy around her, and boom, magically she knows exactly how to let him know that she's interested.

[@RaniaW-be2zl]

I was taught men chased and my parents always shamed women who threw themselves at men -no matter how rich or good looking said men were. No way in heaven or hell would I ever throw myself at a man, regardless of how top-tier he is. No way. For context: I had a crush all throughout high school on a classmate and he never knew. We were cool, but I never gave him any indication that it might be more than that. I figured if he saw me that way, he would've initiated. He didn't, so I kept my feelings to myself. I understand that might not be "most women", but I know there are girls out there like me, two of them are my friends, and they're both very pretty, kind, generous, whoever marries them will be happy. They would never throw themselves at anybody lol.

[@MidnightPolaris800]

​@@AlekNovythis

[@OKRickety]

One thought: What many women think is "throwing themselves at a man" is behavior that many men don't even recognize as indicators of interest, e.g., the 3-second eye contact with a 1-second follow-up.

[@lokalora]

I've been using this tactic for years. What I do though is to look at him for a few seconds (3-4 are enough), then turn as if it was a mistake. He must notice my look, that's crucial. I wait a few minutes and look again for a couple of seconds. At this point he starts to wonder if I'm really looking at him. And then, the third and final look makes him sure that yes, it's about him and no, it wasn't a mistake. It always works. ALWAYS!

[@jonasnazaruk4888]

I bet you're fun at parties...no joke :)

[@rhinoskin7550]

Why can women get away with asking indirectly and/or being indirect? Huh? Im getting more and more comfortable with being single. What a weird game.

[@reneethorn145]

Wow! That stare gave me goosebumps 😳 😍

[@telebiopic]

6:39 girls do this naturally all the time, but to the guys they do this to, are usually not interested back in them!

[@egdapo]

Too fucking bad. Welcome to men's experience in the dating game.

[@leonh2044]

Women dont typically do this. Im a pretty decent looking male and i rarely get those choosing signals from women. They have no idea how to shoot their shot

[@RodrigoTechador]

Indeed. Obese, toothless, greying women favor me with brazen stares and inviting smiles almost everyday. 🤮

[@janushomer9111]

...because the guys are out of their league

[@kaili1094]

Your look was powerful, i almost wanted to move my eyes when you stared at the camera... I definedly gonna practice and give it a shot. Thank you for the help.😃

[@BS_Profile]

"I'm nervous about being rejected" LMAO. Now add the possibility of being labeled "creepy, weird, socially inept, inappropriate, etc." and possibly shamed, mocked, framed as a threat, and/or lambasted for trying even though you're generally expected to initiate because of your gender. And that's what a guy is dealing with. If you're a woman and you're nervous, just look up statistics from any dating app and notice how much less picky men are than women. The odds are significantly stacked in your favor. And even if he's not interested, nobody's going to say that you're "creepy and weird" or whatever for wanting to talk to and meet someone of the opposite gender. Guys don't have that luxury. Our hands are socially tied. Might as well take advantage of the extra social freedom that you have as a woman.

[@clownphabetstrongwoman7305]

"Significantly " is significantly an understatement. It's a few orders of magnitude differently.

[@BadThrusher]

A shy woman is 100 times more attractive than a confident woman. This is because men love innocence. It shows that she has not done this to a lot of men. If she looks confident at it, it becomes a redflag because, for her to get this confident, she must have fed her loaf to 5000 men and won't be stopping anytime soon

[@M0viLover]

@@BadThrusher Her "loaf??" You mean her taco!

[@Matt-fs1yy]

You're only "socially tied" to the extent that you give a fuck about all that

[@johnv7968]

@@BadThrusherloaf….lol

[@oober5150]

Agree, eye contact sends a strong message but not clear enough to know for sure what it means, natures perfection❤

[@nenxnenfruit7018]

It's too late for modern men. Most guys don't know what to do with a drop handkerchief. The guys who do know what to do have too many handkerchiefs.

[@marcuschauvin7039]

I normally toss it in the trash and complain about littering

[@tvang464]

That's why there's teachings like this vid to reattach modern men and women.

[@user-jg5xm8um8y]

It’s not too late. Creators like Orion are getting men to change or at least realize they have to change. The start of a long journey

[@abenadickson1660]

Lmao!

[@abzinokartelino5035]

This is what happens with overcrowding, people lose bonding skills leading to the eventual collapse of society.

[@louisepotier2784]

This episode was great. lol! And the comments are equally funny! The advice is sound. Have a nice day! 🙂

[@kyshasmith7798]

Hey, can you make a much more in-depth video on this topic?

[@snc8515]

Yeah! It definetly works. Ive experienced it many times over the years but only a few times it actually led to a conversation. Since most of the time the females who do this are not the ones im attracted to or I happen to be in a relationship. But it definetly gets a man attention and then he has to decide what to do next... awesome video, Orion!

[@dirtyace1668]

It's totally ok if you end up talking with someone who you have no romantic interest in. It's still an opportunity to practice socializing which is a very valuable skill.

[@ashok.vardhan.g]

They won't even make this effort these days. Entitled to the core. Even the 30+

[@Zebielie]

Especially the 30+. Their standards never go down and they go up the fastest during the denial phase. Such os the tragedy of the modern female.

[@user-jv4kj1cv8k]

I’m 38 and am open to this. Stop the negativity.

[@M0viLover]

Yup. Aaron Clarey did a *roast* of Bumble / their CEO, because it is "too much of a burden*" for da w0men to initiate contact .. on a dating app which differentiates itself from *all* the others, because of *that* feature!!

[@RodrigoTechador]

@@ZebielieMore than that, they brag about their standards going up and genuinely seem to think men should consider that attractive.

[@andrew1717xx]

​@@user-jv4kj1cv8k**Woosh** This is a 'prove it' comment. He won't believe the attitude will change until he see's it. Outside of this I don't know what you are complaining about other than crying for attention. Whats it going to be?

[@GameW200]

Life changing about always being ready to break that “right” to be “left alone”

[@skreppeknekker]

I’ve been married for 10 years soon and Dr Orion’s come-hither look made me feel more attractive than I’ve felt in years

[@leyenda6149]

Men are simple, but we can also be easily manipulated. Especially when we are younger and lack experience. I hope Dr. T. one day does a video about how susceptible we are to overly investing and being accommodating and get trapped when we are young, dumb, and full of... well, you know

[@DV-vn8rj]

Finally an intelligent man giving some good dating advice to women.

[@AjaySunnah]

that's what i am saying, sometimes i feel like Dr orion really gets me

[@AetherXIV]

ladies, he's dead on.

[@TransgirlsEnjoyer]

lol no, this is normal, and just plausible deniability and still puts onus on men

[@rgrnurse]

This is great!! I love the underlying humor in your voice 😂 time for me to maybe try out my… “come hither stare” 🔥

[@roses6564]

Women want to be pursued. Period. If she must actively pursue him, this places her in a masculine role and she feels she has no inherent value high enough that would motivate a guy to take the risk and ask her. It's actually kind of demeaning. For a man to have to pursue - it is not. What's sad is that Me Too type of insanities and pretenses have caused so many men to actually fear for their life to do what men are naturally supposed to do.

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

Unlucky, this si 2024. if she thinks her "inherit value" is enough aka Pucci. what makes her diffrent from any other woman? wouldnt he not be better off with anyone else. thats the problem with loser women who have an ego born of nothing but the imagination that men would compromise themselves for her because pucci.

[@pauldavids7167]

Well what makes you think that men don’t want to be pursued or at least give us a freaking clue that you’re interested… where has it ever been stated that it’s men’s job to pursue women? In all of history I’ve never read that that ,doesn’t mean that I don’t follow the social norms but it’s not fact…

[@janushomer9111]

you're going to pursue yourself

[@roses6564]

@@pauldavids7167 Women DO give "freaking clues" ALL THE TIME. The trouble is people are often indifferent towards others who give them clues they are interested, and they want who they want, which is usually someone who has their eyes on someone else, and so on. That applies to both men and women. When two people with genuine interest in each other come together, it's an actual miracle because then there is natural merging, not one "pursing" the other while the other is "meh," hoping in fact for someone else. The rest is just market games. As for "all of history" - it is absolutely true that men have pursued women, since women are de facto the more valuable sex from a biological/reproductive standpoint. Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive type thing. Granted, prime sperm is THE most expensive, but that's a different story. That's where you can expect women to drop handkerchiefs and passively, discreetly "pursue" the man. But that will not be more than signaling interest, for plausible deniability, as Taraban clarified. Any woman who's making direct, overt, actual advances to a guy is not a woman you would want anyway, and if you do, you are a deep, hopeless Beta which no woman worth her salt would value anyway.

[@roses6564]

@@janushomer9111 Why, if I I have pursuers? ;-)

[@alediaz67]

Really a good one colleague, that works for years but women seem to forget this. If I may I'll add another one after that 3 secs eye to eye besides the look another way and the 1 sec eye roll with a slight smile, and it's look down with a smile and then look to him again, then look look the other way keeping that slight smile. And there are many other ways to "drop a handkerchief" but I don't know if men nowadays are able to notice them... I like your job and the changes you made from your old standings. 👏👏👏

[@soniadetert1733]

I love this guy

[@georgeg2369]

I accidentally dropped a like - oh Dr Orion….how good of you to notice [blushes] 😊

[@BetterLoveMovement]

My personal favorite “tactic” to get a man’s undivided attention is to walk up behind him and place my hand on his back and call him a random name. When he turns around, I blush and say “Oops! I thought you were my friend (insert fake name here)! So sorry!” Again, I also look him in his eyes and smile when I say it. Works every time (unless he’s engaged or married). 😉

[@janushomer9111]

and then he disappears after sex

[@BetterLoveMovement]

@janushomer9111 I don’t sleep with men who aren’t my husband so he’s going to need a judge and a lawyer to leave.💯 When you properly vet a man and watch what he shows you instead of listening to just his words, you tend to do better in relationships. Many women give a man EVERYTHING up front and don’t require that a man invest in them. And they get burned every single time. I take my time and let this progress SLOWLY. If it’s going to fall apart, then it will happen before I’ve given all of myself away. There will always be some risk in love and relationships, however women can minimize that risk by using discernment and taking things slow.

[@janushomer9111]

@@BetterLoveMovement I'm not going to lose braincells reading that...

[@TheBlueOrRed-Pill]

Better yet, just give him complements than calling him by a wrong name. I would not have responded to that even if I was single. Complement by saying you have good taste & I love men with good taste, then look him in his eyes & smile--end it up by saying by the way my name is Jenny & walk away.

[@Therevolution7]

Andrew huberman- ‘I hear you are hurt and I will hear you as long as is needed for us’

[@J.Braxton]

Bend & Snap, ladies

[@rob21]

Of course it helps if you look like Elle Woods.

[@Xyz46786]

😆

[@4seasons546]

Good one ☝️ ❤loved that movie was my movie to exercise with 🙌

[@SK-le1gm]

Ladies this is good advice.

[@goldentimes1998]

Can you do a video on staying in contact with an ex. The reasons please , including why ? Its a good / bad idea ,do woman do more than men ? Why social media has made this easy even after years of separation, etc etc please

[@tess7798]

This exact eye contact move can be seen in Ed Sheeran’s music video “The Shape of You” on youtube. The female boxer nails the eye contact, and Ed is immediately interested.

[@seemoretoys5944]

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard And they're like, it's better than yours

[@Elle.Energy]

Perfect example! It's extremely effective, so many options out there, just be open and learn how to filter. Loved the "I must've mistaken you for someone else." I'm gonna use that💛

[@Kritikanbringer]

Shame on you.