Women must take an increasingly active approach to dating as they age. They do this by reclaiming their power to initiate interactions with men. By "dropping a handkerchief," women signal that they would be amenable to an overture, which significantly alters the risk-reward profile of a cold approach. In this episode, I discuss one way women can do this: the "come hither stare." Pre-order my book: amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women
@dontreadmyname43965 ай бұрын
PLEASE do a video on what to do when a woman is being dishonest and soft ghosting you or acting distant inside a relationship, if she is angry at you or doesnt like you anymore but pretends everything is alright when you ask her why the lack of talking, if she says constantly she is going to do something but never saying when or never saying she doesnt want to do it what to do with a woman that lies to avoid saying harsh truths or to avoid having conflicts with her man???
@ZoldicsDiaries5 ай бұрын
This video is reuploaded???
@oliviae3695 ай бұрын
@@dontreadmyname4396 If she is soft ghosting you, angry at you without explaining why, and not making you feel good about being in a relationship with her, then beat her to the punch and end things. B/c she is probably gearing up to do that as she gets her ducks in a row. There are many great women out here that will value you, - all you have to do is make a woman feel valued, respected and adored.
@nielevans29475 ай бұрын
@psychacks I feel like, as a man, I don't know how to act in this type of situation. Am I supposed to lock eyes and smile back till she break eye contact, and then slowly make my approach?
@BlueBirdgg5 ай бұрын
Congratz on 500k.
@uminchu595 ай бұрын
Funny story: 40 years ago my male buddy, in an attempt to break the ice with a lady sitting at the bar, dropped a $20 behind her, reached to pick it up, and asked her she dropped it. She thanked him, took the money, and didn't even look back.
@rayrwyr5 ай бұрын
😄
@d55555 ай бұрын
That's about $60 in today's money. Expensive lesson.
@testthewest1235 ай бұрын
@@d5555 60 bucks is nothing for a lesson like this.
@thelaggymonster5 ай бұрын
@@d5555 Cheaper than a date, pretty low cost way to filter out a bad egg
@GrnXnham5 ай бұрын
100% worth it. Showed a lack of character. Move to the next one.
@BlueBirdgg5 ай бұрын
Orion phrase of the week: "I see you and you see me and I see you seeing me and you see me seeing you"
@johnthegreat975 ай бұрын
My brain gained another wrinkle when he said that. It tickled the right area
@M0viLover5 ай бұрын
Ha, ha. I wonder *how long* / many times he practiced *that* part of the draft, before filming?
@manzimucyophilemon83245 ай бұрын
Have you watched the first 5 minutes of the movie “Rango”???
@BlueBirdgg5 ай бұрын
@@user-icu152 wrong "top" comment.
@rortys.kierkegaard99805 ай бұрын
Aren’t they so ‘stunning and brave’ in their interactions…
@rahulshrivastava16515 ай бұрын
A woman did this to me 7 years ago for several weeks and me being shy I never approached her until she got fed up and found me on social media and initiated a conversation. Long story short, I'm married to her now. 😮
@MidnightPolaris8005 ай бұрын
Best of luck in the divorce
@srikrishnavasanth38955 ай бұрын
@@MidnightPolaris800 don't be too jealous
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
@@srikrishnavasanth3895 Romanticizing?
@kaisalis78955 ай бұрын
@@srikrishnavasanth3895 Jealous of being in a contract which royally f*cks you if the woman ever decides to break it?
@saintejeannedarc94605 ай бұрын
@@kaisalis7895 Jealous of being in a relationship where they made a lifelong committment that has a 65% chance of working out for a lifetime. That's a lot to be envious of, and that's ok.
@mrheatibmor5 ай бұрын
Orion is right ladies, I almost wanted to fight him when he looked into the Camera.
@badistbrother83845 ай бұрын
Had me in on the floor. 😂
@RedERscrubs5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@EriPages5 ай бұрын
Almost? I'm currently booking a flight ✈️ to his state to get this party started.
@omar47hitman5 ай бұрын
I punched the screen
@jorgeglez70885 ай бұрын
@@EriPages 😂
@missyelious5 ай бұрын
Orion doing the eye contact flirting impression is the funniest thing I've seen all week 😂🎉❤
@hoi-polloi186316 күн бұрын
Yeah... he's a savvy man, but his flower isn't drawing a lot of butterflies, namsain?
@ajones80085 ай бұрын
Girl dropped her cell phone: Not only did I get her number, I got a free phone upgrade. Didn't even have to talk to her!
@zzzzzzzz34545 ай бұрын
Bahahaha
@testthewest1235 ай бұрын
Nice!
@ZoldicsDiaries5 ай бұрын
This video is reuploaded???
@TheTektronik5 ай бұрын
Good on you man. 🤣
@Tnc8745 ай бұрын
😂
@eric_linden5 ай бұрын
Great advice for women. No woman has ever done this to me; but if they had, they would have gotten a response.
@tedarcher91205 ай бұрын
Because we ugly
@eric_linden5 ай бұрын
@@tedarcher9120 Speak for yourself. I’m not ugly. Just never got the three second stare from a woman I didn’t already know.
@SteveHofsaess5 ай бұрын
@@eric_linden You probaly did, but did not put it all together
@fleetadmiralsidiqi19415 ай бұрын
@@tedarcher9120 People don't respect keeping it real these days. Much respect ✌️
@iamtesting38245 ай бұрын
i will never know. When you talk you look at him/her (eye contact) anyone. This has been and always be. Just how i communicate.
@PossiblyAzrael5 ай бұрын
I made a large comment thread somewhere online that blew up about this topic. Here was the comment: Basically most guys don't go around approaching every woman. Only a tiny select do. Those that do usually fall into the category of guys that will approach most women. The rest of the sane guys who have some soul left in them tend to wait for signals when it's the right moment. So yeah, if you run into a guy bold enough to make moves on you without you "dropping the handkerchief" he could likely do that to other women too.
@kakerake60185 ай бұрын
So the guys are supposed to sit around and wait for a woman to approach?
@PossiblyAzrael5 ай бұрын
@@kakerake6018 no, but having a “handkerchief” can filter for different types of guys
@keithbyrd75665 ай бұрын
Guys should initiate eye contact just like women can. It is an easy way to gauge her interest and get a reaction with being directly rejected.
@AndrewAdawa5 ай бұрын
"Bold enough to make moves" and being able to make moves on many ladies, is a plus for any type of guy. For those men waiting for the handkerchief drop, you are limiting your options, and obviously, you can do better. This video is for women ONLY. There's no message in it for guys. It's telling women to be bold, which doesn't automatically mean men should wait for the handkerchief always.
@PossiblyAzrael5 ай бұрын
@@AndrewAdawa never said it was good or bad. Just a side effect being that a cohort of those men won’t be that into her. Some will do it for sport.
@drwayne_carter91155 ай бұрын
There is not a more heart-racing, butterfly inducing, nerve-wracking thing in the world for a grown man than the 'come here' stare from an attractive woman in a social setting.
@MidnightPolaris8005 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂 this has to be a troll
@drwayne_carter91155 ай бұрын
@@MidnightPolaris800 I can tell you've never experienced this from a super attractive girl.
@truthhurts75 ай бұрын
Happened to me today at the gym as she was with her friends just giggling in a corner while I was practicing (I dance break’). It was intense, we locked eyes for a solid 2.5 seconds and I just continued on. Perhaps another day I’ll pull up on her, perhaps not 😂
@rhenriksen5 ай бұрын
Both my marriage, and an 8+ year LTR, were initiated by the women. I respected both of them for having the balls to do so.
@SD-mi2vc5 ай бұрын
So their trans 🙃
@gomezfriesen5 ай бұрын
3 seconds of eye contact beween men at a bar, "Might have a fight on our hands". Ha ha ha. Sooo true!
@John3v85 ай бұрын
😂
@Khan-rz8qi5 ай бұрын
What me and my guys call this phenomenon is: Choosing Signals. Generally, you will know when women are interested in you, some will tell you straight up and some will do it indirectly. The point is women know exactly how to attract their male counterparts. I think the bigger problem is that women don’t find most men attractive enough to put in the effort. For women, the problem is mostly based on lack of attractive male prospects.
@paulcolin90715 ай бұрын
Even then they have too many options if only theoretical a bit like that theory of 150 people in a tribe
@elinope47455 ай бұрын
I have that problem too. We need a radical increase of pretty baby girls.
@MichaelGlitzos5 ай бұрын
It’s highly likely that the internet and social media has men and women stuck on their highest setting. They’re too busy chasing what’s attractive that they miss out on something that might work and the illusion of infinite opportunities means sacrificing that there might be a better option out there.
@carlospita64425 ай бұрын
That is why I have no empathy for them when Chad uses them
@christianrodriguez53465 ай бұрын
@@carlospita6442 Facts.
@dificulttocure5 ай бұрын
I want to point out that, as Orion says, this is just the bare minimum. If you want to get actually good results, you should be doing much more than this. But if you are doing nothing at all, then doing this is a step up definitely. Also, this will only work with guys that are not used to women looking and smiling at them, which is 95% of us. But the other 5% have women doing this to them all the time, hence this won't be enough to get those guys.
@EriPages5 ай бұрын
Correct.
@detroitvcw5 ай бұрын
Yea for sure. Just because a woman looks at you for three seconds doesn't mean she's interested. She may be interested in something you have on, or doing, or simply wanting the validation/attention from you to bolster her ego. I agree there should be a series of signs to seal the deal, not just eye contact. If it is just eye contact, it better be some level of seduction behind it, or multiple takes of her looking at you..not just 1 three second look. Too many nuances for that to be a solution.
@u2b835 ай бұрын
Before even that, she has to notice you lol I'm putting odds at 1:10000 that you get the eye thing + convo + date + sx This is about the background rate for a win once every decade lol
@jameshanna-mp7er5 ай бұрын
Yup. I get this regularly, i never respond, it's a oathetic level of female effort, if you want to say something, come over and open your mouth and speak.
@jth_printed_designs5 ай бұрын
One correction: it WILL be enough to “get” those guys, just not for what they want. Those guys understand the signals and they can just take that woman for a potential easy lay, but the odds of her being better than all of the other dozens of women is extremely low.
@pmaitrasm5 ай бұрын
Victorian values for modern women? We should have hope. Good effort, Dr. Taraban. As a word of caution for all, you can take a horse to the water, but you cannot force it to drink.
@ephraimwinslow5 ай бұрын
"Last word: I can't lie to you about your chances... but... you have my sympathies. :)" -Ash, ALIEN
@Ibeturhot420695 ай бұрын
You can drown it.
@user-jg5xm8um8y5 ай бұрын
Wasn’t there a lot of debauchery in Victorian times too?
@immortaljanus5 ай бұрын
@@user-jg5xm8um8y Well, occasionally someone might show a bare ankle... in public.
@jessecortez94495 ай бұрын
You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Simply make it thirsty. Be worth a women's thirst.
@doublemintmaple5 ай бұрын
I gotta say, the art for the thumbnails is always spectacular!
@CarlDIY5 ай бұрын
I’m currently in university. Dr. Orion is right. However, most women will still reject you even conversation is going well. But, it’s not a loss because u gain experience everytime you interact with women.
@Kritikanbringer5 ай бұрын
Only a loss of time.
@SnlDrako5 ай бұрын
Experience is worthless if I learn fuckall from it.
@kathleenschaefer90235 ай бұрын
When I see a man I want to meet I look and smile then give a slight flirtatious wink, then look away and back again. It never fails to make a man smile. He may not come over, but he smiles. It’s fun! I’ve been in sales all my life so rejection doesn’t bother me. They know nothing about me really other than what I look like. It’s a numbers game after all. 😊
@cheekymonkeygirl33785 ай бұрын
You're old so they don't want damaged goods.,
@hakanulukavak5 ай бұрын
@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 that was below the belt 😂
@Leoo1175 ай бұрын
@cheekymonkeygirl3378 Nah, she's a cute one. I'd approach her. And with her kind of confidence, it would likely be easy to enjoy her company.
@LaciRae5 ай бұрын
every woman knows how to give a man the come hither gaze. but i’ve never thought to wink. that’s cute.
@LaciRae5 ай бұрын
@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 your time is inevitably coming. & You don’t have an endearing personality to make up for it.
@jilladams75735 ай бұрын
I once knew a woman that wasn't that attractive, but had a circle of gorgeous women friends and she would brag about being approached by guys every time she went out, while her friends didn't get half the attention she did. One night I decided to go out with them and 'observe.' Turned out the woman actively invited that attention every time by actively seeking out guys with her gaze, open body posture, smiles, dancing, etc. So if anyone's reading this and they don't get approached by men, here's a massive hint for you, and good luck 😊 Edit: Just wanted to add that there are a LOT of predatory men out there who objectify women and are only interested in her age, her body and how she looks and to be careful, also. I know a lot of people already know this, but just wanted to point it out to the people who didn't.
@JJ-vp3bd5 ай бұрын
whats the hint
@Mersak1685 ай бұрын
@@JJ-vp3bd The one in the video.
@karinalebedeva73354 ай бұрын
As a woman, I agree. And it’s actually one of the few things I like in being a woman. You can always smile, ask for a small help the person that you like. It is just giving them a chance to interact with you and showing that you are also up to this interaction.
@lawrencevaughn91495 ай бұрын
Okay the look is not going to be enough, but if you do do that you have to do it a couple times because nowadays guys have gotten a little too cautious😅 And we don't read it very well. But the smile definitely does help especially if it's more of a central smile and not a platonic friendly smile
@searlearnold28675 ай бұрын
Yes ladies, if you're frustrated that you're not getting dates or meeting men, you need to learn this as a basic first step and get over your shyness or fear. Opportunity doesn't disappear, it just finds someone else. Just make sure you are receiving a look of interest and a smile back. Soft eyes and a smile are pretty much all it takes to get a date and opportunity for something more.
@daisymag69035 ай бұрын
Orion, you forget to smile when you were looking at him during one second ❤😊
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
Most be a western or american thing. If we meet eye contact with a guy all suspciions dissapear when one of us say a simple greeting or a "YOH! brother" with a friendly gesture to add.
@feonline97895 ай бұрын
@@CyberPunkBadGuy what country are you from?
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
@@feonline9789 I wont tell some randomm person where I am from, but I will tell you its not western. Why do you ask?
@FilmChick20015 ай бұрын
I was waiting for the smile too 😂
@autarko5 ай бұрын
Ladies: "we want to find a husband" Orion: "Easy, find an attractive man and look at him" This is embarrassing!
@KeyaCares5 ай бұрын
Thanks Dr. T for showing the ladies how to do it. That was a beautiful reenactment
@implode_5 ай бұрын
3 seconds direct contact in a bar to initiate a fight. So interesting how/why this is, but it's true. I've mastered this technique down to 1 second and we're off to the races.
@midnightsplusnoonsis730LEO5 ай бұрын
Matrix bullet time ?
@AncientTrogloxene5 ай бұрын
Glad you got around to publishing this presentation. Good to have an obvious counterpoint to the myth that in every culture across the globe it is guys who always initiate. This still leaves room for one or more presentations with greater nuance, historical perspective, or literary examples.
@michaelread3285 ай бұрын
"I'm nervous about being rejected" "Ya don't fuckin' say?!" I fell out of my chair laughing. Think I rewinded that part like 5x.
@johnanon6585 ай бұрын
Men got that, and the fear of like having the police called on them
@Wobbothe3rd5 ай бұрын
It's bs, that isn't the reason why women don't risk rejection, that's just what they SAY.
@IfSemper5 ай бұрын
Ha, ha...he made me laugh out loud at that, too. - April L.
@marcuschauvin70395 ай бұрын
Lol!!!
@zeroceiling5 ай бұрын
As painful as it is…I think a woman getting rejected probably represents a higher cost to her than to a guy. To a guy, approaching tends to signal: “hey I’m approaching because that’s kind of what I do…with getting a phone number being a decent first score. A woman soliciting being approached tends to signal more of..” hey..with all other things being dispensed with, if I do this, there is an above average chance that I may be seeking more than just a phone number and a coffee. I argue that her stakes become higher than the guys in those situations.
@roberthallam14775 ай бұрын
I had this exact scenario happen to me across a crowded room at my 50th HS reunion. It was a classic "I see you, you see me......". The result was a rekindling of a lovely friendship.
@sourapril5 ай бұрын
Seduction with your eye is a skill that can be learned. Some people are naturally born with it but others can learn and become good. Once you master the skill it's hard to turn it off. You literally have to avoid eye contact with pretty much everyone or you would attract unwanted attention even if you don't wear make up and dress in sweat shirt.
@kakerake60185 ай бұрын
Seduction with your eyes only work if the person is attracted to you… or you’re attractive. Otherwise you are deemed a creep
@leviathon25 ай бұрын
@@kakerake6018Word
@SPACEDOUT195 ай бұрын
Women of all ages give you the signals if they like how you look, you just have to notice. You can try and make the first step, but just so you know, she already made her mind up about you in the first 2 seconds she saw you.
@ephraimwinslow5 ай бұрын
It's actually kinda sad when guys realize in hindsight that the 4-5 (middling) women who were unexpectedly nice to them over the course of their life were only informing them that they were *juuust* above the not people line. At the time.
@synsynsy5 ай бұрын
@@ephraimwinslownot people line...
@ephraimwinslow5 ай бұрын
@@synsynsy Y'know how other than your own mom, women are really, *really* mean on average? Yeah, that's because if they don't consider you subjectively attractive? You don't qualify for personhood in their eyes. You're like a stray dog they wouldn't let into their yard.
@ephraimwinslow5 ай бұрын
@@synsynsy Be subjectively attractive, or be viewed like an unwashed stray. Those are the only options.
@motorbreath225 ай бұрын
You ever had a very good looking female friend talking to you at a bar and all of a sudden you're hot shit.. but when you're by yourself it's crickets ? Can't trust a lot of women, they out here competing against each other but not for you, you're just a symbol of their competition, not real people.
@lucasley205 ай бұрын
Dr. Taraban, this is platinum information! I will be sharing this with ALL my single ladies!
@TransgirlsEnjoyer5 ай бұрын
this is the minimum, it still puts onus on men and makes the vulnerable to rejection and mockery
@lucasley205 ай бұрын
@nerozero_ great point!
@bethco995 ай бұрын
This is feminine manifestation 101 I absolutely love it. Good luck ladies I hope you all find your match.
@fanfanthomas96885 ай бұрын
That's the "Galadriel look" to Frodo right before boarding the ship at the Grey Havens
@CyberWisdom2.05 ай бұрын
I'm male & I have no afraid of rejection but afraid that it would go wrong because she don't want to get approached
@saintejeannedarc94605 ай бұрын
What is there to be afraid of besides rejection? The worst case scenario is she's bitchy and really annoyed that you disturbed her. That just means she's not worth dating. Most women will fairly politely decline if they aren't interested. Some will be very gracious and encouraging about it. Occasionally some will say yes. But they need to be single and willing to take a chance on a stranger to say yes.
@CentralBankofTruth5 ай бұрын
I was at a conference once where a girl didn't just drop the handkerchief. She dropped her whole walk-in closet. So, I made a move and got her number. Then, we found a quiet spot and got to know each other a little. She was 10 years younger than me. Ultimately, it fizzled out quick. I wasn't looking for anything long distance and I get the feeling she thought I was much younger, though that might have just been me overthinking things. For some reason I can't help thinking being 34 is a turn off for girls in their 20s. Anyway, yeah, great advice for the ladies out there and on point as always. It worked in the 1800s and still works to this day.
@racalu19935 ай бұрын
Let the girl be the judge of that. You do your thing and never feel insecure for having options, experience and resources! The best is yet to come when you’re in your 30’s
@RaniaW-be2zl5 ай бұрын
honestly, as a 26yo female, not necessarily. it has pros and cons. I have a friend who's 24 married to a (broke) 40 yo, they have been through very similar things in life and understand each other perfectly. most girls would not want a broke older man though. again, it has to do with pros and cons. that guy brings her a lot of pros even if none of them are monetary. I wish men in that age bracket approached me, until then I don't know if they're good or not.
@CentralBankofTruth5 ай бұрын
@@RaniaW-be2zl Gotcha. Yeah, as the saying goes there aren't any solutions, only trade-offs, right? Just depends what you're looking for. I'm not wealthy by any stretch but I'm doing better than most my age fortunately. Definitely looking to settle down, but I'm not convinced most girls in their early, mid, and even their late 20s are wanting the same anymore though I'm sure some do. Funny thing is, that's the exact age group I get the most attention from not that I'm complaining. Most guys would probably say "hey, enjoy it" blah blah blah, whatever, but I don't want any flings or situationships. I want a wife and a family to take care of. She's out there somewhere.
@RaniaW-be2zl5 ай бұрын
@@CentralBankofTruth wishing you well brother. I’m that girl, so we’re out there. I’m sure there’s a pot for every lid. may God put those who should be in our lives where they should be.
@CentralBankofTruth5 ай бұрын
@@RaniaW-be2zlAmen! 🙏
@timuryorkart5 ай бұрын
There were a number of times when I picked up on those very same "eye stare signals," just to be shut down upon approach, no questions asked. That is to say... sometimes the signaling party has a buggy operating system hindering its performance.
@Cee_Eff5 ай бұрын
Happened to me way too many times. Unfortunately, my subconscious equates to the the "prank stare"
@fanfanthomas96885 ай бұрын
"Plausible deniability" fun/shythetest
@thuhanguyen70945 ай бұрын
Ladies, I‘ve been intuitively doing this. It WORKS every single time! Dress nicely, smell good, respect yourself, go alone WITHOUT ur girlfriends (they will be jealous along the way). Be a flower in a garden and drop it boldly with class. There is NOT ONCE that a guy didnt approach me after that glance. 😂
@janushomer91115 ай бұрын
so, why aren't you married? They left after sex?
@thuhanguyen70945 ай бұрын
As long as the screening and filtering men who are not suitable for me takes, there will be no sex involved. If u‘re a woman writing this, i wish u a successful love life without any jealousy and envy. If u‘re a man, I hope someone will drop a handkerchief to you soonly. Dont be so desperate 😊
@pmaitrasm5 ай бұрын
@@janushomer9111, Perhaps it is neither her fault nor the men’s. Perhaps the men really liked her but stayed away from the family court system. Men and women, both can be victims here.
@janushomer91115 ай бұрын
@@pmaitrasm why are you simping?
@pmaitrasm5 ай бұрын
@@janushomer9111, I am neither blue pilled, nor red pilled. I am white pilled. I try to be fair.
@johnahn11175 ай бұрын
I love how you have brothers’ backs, but can say what we’re feeling gently, without the anger and frustration and indignation. Hopefully the message gets across.
@spontaneousbootay3 ай бұрын
women also get close to you if they are interested but the eyes are the clearest signal
@Mike-xq7ib5 ай бұрын
Thanks for informing the masses Orion. As a man I appreciate the message and hope a few catch on.
@sayuri39175 ай бұрын
The problem is that we have few opportunities for in-person social interactions. The last time I was interested in a guy, I started the conversation virtually in a subtle and very friendly way. I didn't expose myself and it generated a very fun virtual interaction. He didn't ask me out, I think he isn't interested, but in any case, it was worth the experience. Furthermore, whether a man or a woman, we need to remember that rejection does not reflect our value, but rather compatibility. Thinking this way also takes away some weight and alleviates the fear of being dumped. We will never know what the other is looking for, their preferences and the timing of their lives. And we women still need to remember that it is unlikely that a man will feel offended by a look, a note or a message. Even if he's not interested, even if we're not his ideal type, I'm sure he wouldn't be offended if we were polite, fun and knew how to get out of the picture if we weren't reciprocated. We women forget that men don't receive as many compliments as we do.
@DavidMatias795 ай бұрын
Re: in-person opportunities - go to a coffee shop, go to a bookstore, go to church, volunteering, go to a park, go to a bar, go to a museum, go to a networking event, conference, sports game, dance class, the mall, downtown, farmers markets, Home Depot, meetups of all kinds - don't wear headphones and don't move quickly through the space . . . It's not May 2020, people are outside doing things. "The problem" is not a problem. Make opportunities.
@ddanielsmc2 ай бұрын
@@sayuri3917 I agree with your sentiments. I wish men didn't receive some of the flack they do get when seeking a romantic relationship. I had a female boss and got on very well with her. She told me when she met her husband it was in a club. However, initially when his friend came up to her to see what she thought (he was quite young at age 19 - she was around 10 years older) she responded with verbal abuse i.e. swearing. They did get together and had two children and married. She did show remorse at her horrible treatment of him. However, whenever she's asked how they met, she has the unhappy memory. I've not experienced any flack from women but then I was lucky (this isn't me boasting) that I received interest from them first. I do appreciate that and also, appreciate the challenges men face as, like many of us, seen it. As long as we all remain respectful of eachother then, we can get along. I do like your point regarding compatibility 😀I hope you find your soulmate.
@katarinacestmoi5 ай бұрын
No handkerchief… but I have a gym towel 😂
@majagorsic5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@Cakez2535 ай бұрын
Or a sweaty gym glove in my case 😂
@awsambdaman5 ай бұрын
That would probably work
@MrSomsoc5 ай бұрын
We will take anything at this point.
@katarinacestmoi5 ай бұрын
@@MrSomsoc I’d love to know what signs men give because there are a couple of guys I see at my gym, we’ve smiled at each other but they still don’t say anything. I’m working on being more approachable but I also think if a guy doesn’t approach the first time, is he maybe just not interested or available?
@captdramamine5 ай бұрын
Doc... your come hither demonstration had me wanting to get up and walk across my living room hahaha. The single ladies need to learn this
@NancyBuckley-nu8hc5 ай бұрын
This totally works. It worked with the man.I was married 24 thirty four years. He passed away so I'm single now but just haven't found anybody I want to give that look to yet.
@2Oldcoots5 ай бұрын
Thank You for the key to the lock sir. Widower here. My future wife of 34 happy years (lucky sure) was sitting next to me at a table when I felt her shoeless toes brush my ankle...twice. Why twice? The first time I wasn't sure what it was. The second time I knew and looked into her eyes....with my slowly increasingly hungry eyes and she looked back.....for a second. Out.
@LastEarBender5 ай бұрын
This is one of your best and most accurate videos, doc. Nicely done
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
Dont think many men would be falling into these SUBTLE HINTS. Women will have to accept times had change, start approaching far more often and risk their egos. These signal things are so attractive to them because they can deny the entire interaction, negative and 0 commitment. Initiating anything with someone like that is not appealing and shows that they are more than willing to switch up, flop, bait and lie about any interactions for whatever trivial reasons they feel like in the moment. its simply cowardice.
@sirphil135 ай бұрын
It's usually an unconscious process in most women, men just need to have an awareness (a learned skill called "observing ego") of our proximity when she does drop a handkerchief.
@sirphil135 ай бұрын
It also helps, for men, to burn into our memory the "indicator of interest from women" (web search it).
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
sane men dont care, the world is growing and changing. What men need to do is to ignore and avoid such people via such women with their frivalous cowardice signals. its 2024 , she is gonna hve to pick her dirty hankercheif off the floor, no one its taking the bait, no one sane at least.
@detroitvcw5 ай бұрын
Yea but at the same time, there are nuances/convolution in the dating landscape to where even "dropping the handkerchief" is not a sure sign that a woman is interested. A 3 second look could mean Alot of things outside of her being interested in you, and some guys naturally respond to that. I would argue that most guys do respond, but since the handkerchief action is so convoluted that guys don't respond with it being a sure sign to approach. It at least has to be multiple takes of it to rid of the nuances.
@merrittpalmer43495 ай бұрын
@@detroitvcw As a straight man who is exceptional at reading people, women make it VERY obvious when they're interested in you. Most men are just completely oblivious and lack the social IQ.
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
@@detroitvcw The fact that it gives her plausible deniability also opens up that it can mean anything. Its a paradox in its own. If it was a sign that it was for you to approach then women would not do it because it denied her any plausable deniability. The fact that it is not a clear sign and it can mean anything is what gives it plausible deniability to begin with, which is why women use random signs that can mean anything and not even women knows other women sign, its just a way for them to place their cowardice and expectations and wants unto another than themself because they are too weak minded and weak willed.
@brandonmontgomery74615 ай бұрын
I saw you staring at me, square up Dr. Orion! All jokes aside, great video!
@michaelpilos5 ай бұрын
Passing this message for decades ❤
@Heyheywereallfriendshere5 ай бұрын
It's baffling to me this isn't some hardwired thing in women, it's been my go to since the first time I was at a high school party years ago. But I also smoke cigarettes, especially when out, so "got a light?" is a way for me to take more initiative, and get more up close and personal. I also recommend asking a question about something in the environment, or just complementing him and walking away but not leaving, that's called the "fluff and retreat" learned it from my childhood favorite, Aquamarine. It goes like this "fluff his ego, then walk away, not only is he left wanting more, but he's under the impression that it's his idea". That's the biggest thing I've noticed with guys, regardless of how obviously I "drop my handkerchief" they need to believe it's their idea, and by God they usually will so you can be pretty friggin obvious!
@SophieGW3505 ай бұрын
We need more of these easy to perform tips, definately going to try this
@fps_spicy5 ай бұрын
can you make a video going in depth on how to emotionally stimulate girls? love your content ❤
@abconetwo35 ай бұрын
yes
@forthejourney40535 ай бұрын
It's called conversation
@fps_spicy5 ай бұрын
very helpful also Orion might know some other stuff he learned through his experience
@wyansas5 ай бұрын
I never approach without getting good eye contact first. Just one instance in my life of getting the "Why are you talking to me?" look after approaching is enough to make me never want that to happen again.
@Nathaniel-ft8qi4 ай бұрын
Nevermind Orion's riduculous "come hither" demonstration because it only works when women use it on men. If a man does it to a woman it can be a rather creepy stare.
@josephchiu21935 ай бұрын
Man this video made my day, I have a male friend that's mastered eye contact between friends and I found it infectious, this explains so much, its really intimate thing to do
@sunstarsmoon5 ай бұрын
I reeled in one of my favorite boyfriends this way. It absolutely worked! Made eye contact, then walked away. Within five seconds he was following me and we had a 3 year incredible time.
@Smartcom55 ай бұрын
… until _you_ messed it up, right? 🙃 There you have it. You may haven't dropped the handkerchief, but the end of story. I'm just trying to be a gentleman! ♥
@RaniaW-be2zl5 ай бұрын
@@Smartcom5 bro ask yourself why you felt the need to be so bitter in a KZbin comment, to someone you've never seen before seriously reconsider your life choices. nobody that is happy would write that.
@Smartcom55 ай бұрын
@@RaniaW-be2zl How do you figure I might be allegedly bitter? I'm not, not at all. Her wording alone of 'reeling in' her former boyfriend this way, gave it away. Since for her it was just a game, while playing likely with emotions on his ends.
@sunstarsmoon5 ай бұрын
@@Smartcom5 What? It was a fling and we both knew that. I'm currently married to another man, my husband of 31 years.
@Peteristrate5 ай бұрын
Alpha Widows exists. 31 years into the marriage, and she still can't forget that Alpha that once arranged her guts.
@ThePhabulousYvelise5 ай бұрын
This is all exactly right and works! I have always been a natural flirt and somehow mastered this when I was around 18. I then read about this in a book too.
@leoross98175 ай бұрын
what is the book's name?
@ThePhabulousYvelise5 ай бұрын
@@leoross9817 Every woman should read this. But there is a chapter on the flirting technique.
@ThePhabulousYvelise5 ай бұрын
@@leoross9817 Getting To I Do by Patricia Allen.
@pei04765 ай бұрын
I appreciate this video clip. Thank you so much for teaching us women. 😊
@theculturedgentleman36995 ай бұрын
I need to get your book when it releases. Your content is just golden
@sylvianne3745 ай бұрын
Thank you I really need to give it a try
@7MileDae4 ай бұрын
A girl at work did this to me after I talked to her shortly earlier in the day and I mean mugged her because I thought she was judging me or something, even though I looked mean we stayed looking at each other for like 5 seconds and she looked away, I was confused by that “signal” and thought she wanted a staring contest or something, but I know now💀
@nadersefidabi55865 ай бұрын
This is gold! Why aren't mothers teaching this to their daughters?!!!!
@BS_Profile5 ай бұрын
Because that one specific guy that she really likes is supposed to read her mind lol.
@Smartcom55 ай бұрын
You know about the saying that they hate each other, right? They make it deliberately difficult (even upon themselves; which makes them miserable), even for their own daughters. Something something misery and company. Since if she as the mother didn't had the opportunity of getting -with- the man she wanted to have in the long run, than her daughter shouldn't have that privilege either, duh!
@kiddytube39155 ай бұрын
Because they don’t actually know.
@Smartcom55 ай бұрын
@@kiddytube3915 That's nonsense, as mothers deliberately withhold such knowledge from their daughters. 'Cause it would actually help!
@toxicmale22645 ай бұрын
Wom understand how to do these things from a young age. The first man they practice on is usually their father, or closest male role model.
@LizaNaude5 ай бұрын
That 3 second look got me going Dr! This was fun, thanks.
@sirphil135 ай бұрын
This is risky, dark triad women tend to attract a victim by a Psychopathic Stare, it's predatory. They tend to be super cute looking, charming and highly intelligent. She'll set you up like a king, then she'll burn your whole kingdom down.
@meliciaoliveira98955 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@toxicmale22645 ай бұрын
I can't tell if you are roasting or wooing.
@emmar91045 ай бұрын
hahaha the looks, that is so endearing. so charming. you make a persuasive argument. thank you!
@charlesdexterward77815 ай бұрын
The come hither stare has been abbreviated to the "Come, HR" stare.
@EriPages5 ай бұрын
Lmao. Unfortunately, I have found this correct...personally.
@Greg-lw4zb5 ай бұрын
LOL!
@LittleMew1335 ай бұрын
I remember petting a dog in someone's backyard while the party was going on. Random dude striked up a convo, getting weirder by the seconds. So I asked where the bathroom was and hid in there for a while. Excellent strategy, would recommend.
@MidnightPolaris8005 ай бұрын
Nice 😂😂😂😅
@TideV25 ай бұрын
Women already do this and 10x more but only when they’re seriously interested. If she likes you it’ll literally be impossible to not know unless she’s extremely shy. Difference is today women don’t want most men, and most men don’t want most women.
@cheekymonkeygirl33785 ай бұрын
Well said. We only throw ourselves at top-tier men and ignore the 90%
@AlekNovy5 ай бұрын
That is true, and the doc seems to be missing this. It's not that women today don't throw the handkerchief. Even the women who claim they don't know how to meet men are perfectly happy to throw themselves at a high-tier chad. It's only when a woman is around men closer to her own level that she will stand around, and wait for a man to do all the work without her giving signals. Get a high-tier guy around her, and boom, magically she knows exactly how to let him know that she's interested.
@RaniaW-be2zl5 ай бұрын
I was taught men chased and my parents always shamed women who threw themselves at men -no matter how rich or good looking said men were. No way in heaven or hell would I ever throw myself at a man, regardless of how top-tier he is. No way. For context: I had a crush all throughout high school on a classmate and he never knew. We were cool, but I never gave him any indication that it might be more than that. I figured if he saw me that way, he would've initiated. He didn't, so I kept my feelings to myself. I understand that might not be "most women", but I know there are girls out there like me, two of them are my friends, and they're both very pretty, kind, generous, whoever marries them will be happy. They would never throw themselves at anybody lol.
@MidnightPolaris8005 ай бұрын
@@AlekNovythis
@OKRickety5 ай бұрын
One thought: What many women think is "throwing themselves at a man" is behavior that many men don't even recognize as indicators of interest, e.g., the 3-second eye contact with a 1-second follow-up.
@lokalora5 ай бұрын
I've been using this tactic for years. What I do though is to look at him for a few seconds (3-4 are enough), then turn as if it was a mistake. He must notice my look, that's crucial. I wait a few minutes and look again for a couple of seconds. At this point he starts to wonder if I'm really looking at him. And then, the third and final look makes him sure that yes, it's about him and no, it wasn't a mistake. It always works. ALWAYS!
@jonasnazaruk48883 ай бұрын
I bet you're fun at parties...no joke :)
@rhinoskin75505 ай бұрын
Why can women get away with asking indirectly and/or being indirect? Huh? Im getting more and more comfortable with being single. What a weird game.
@reneethorn1455 ай бұрын
Wow! That stare gave me goosebumps 😳 😍
@telebiopic5 ай бұрын
6:39 girls do this naturally all the time, but to the guys they do this to, are usually not interested back in them!
@egdapo5 ай бұрын
Too fucking bad. Welcome to men's experience in the dating game.
@leonh20445 ай бұрын
Women dont typically do this. Im a pretty decent looking male and i rarely get those choosing signals from women. They have no idea how to shoot their shot
@RodrigoTechador5 ай бұрын
Indeed. Obese, toothless, greying women favor me with brazen stares and inviting smiles almost everyday. 🤮
@janushomer91115 ай бұрын
...because the guys are out of their league
@kaili10945 ай бұрын
Your look was powerful, i almost wanted to move my eyes when you stared at the camera... I definedly gonna practice and give it a shot. Thank you for the help.😃
@BS_Profile5 ай бұрын
"I'm nervous about being rejected" LMAO. Now add the possibility of being labeled "creepy, weird, socially inept, inappropriate, etc." and possibly shamed, mocked, framed as a threat, and/or lambasted for trying even though you're generally expected to initiate because of your gender. And that's what a guy is dealing with. If you're a woman and you're nervous, just look up statistics from any dating app and notice how much less picky men are than women. The odds are significantly stacked in your favor. And even if he's not interested, nobody's going to say that you're "creepy and weird" or whatever for wanting to talk to and meet someone of the opposite gender. Guys don't have that luxury. Our hands are socially tied. Might as well take advantage of the extra social freedom that you have as a woman.
@clownphabetstrongwoman73055 ай бұрын
"Significantly " is significantly an understatement. It's a few orders of magnitude differently.
@BadThrusher5 ай бұрын
A shy woman is 100 times more attractive than a confident woman. This is because men love innocence. It shows that she has not done this to a lot of men. If she looks confident at it, it becomes a redflag because, for her to get this confident, she must have fed her loaf to 5000 men and won't be stopping anytime soon
@M0viLover5 ай бұрын
@@BadThrusher Her "loaf??" You mean her taco!
@Matt-fs1yy5 ай бұрын
You're only "socially tied" to the extent that you give a fuck about all that
@johnv79685 ай бұрын
@@BadThrusherloaf….lol
@oober51505 ай бұрын
Agree, eye contact sends a strong message but not clear enough to know for sure what it means, natures perfection❤
@nenxnenfruit70185 ай бұрын
It's too late for modern men. Most guys don't know what to do with a drop handkerchief. The guys who do know what to do have too many handkerchiefs.
@marcuschauvin70395 ай бұрын
I normally toss it in the trash and complain about littering
@tvang4645 ай бұрын
That's why there's teachings like this vid to reattach modern men and women.
@user-jg5xm8um8y5 ай бұрын
It’s not too late. Creators like Orion are getting men to change or at least realize they have to change. The start of a long journey
@abenadickson16605 ай бұрын
Lmao!
@abzinokartelino50355 ай бұрын
This is what happens with overcrowding, people lose bonding skills leading to the eventual collapse of society.
@louisepotier27845 ай бұрын
This episode was great. lol! And the comments are equally funny! The advice is sound. Have a nice day! 🙂
@kyshasmith77985 ай бұрын
Hey, can you make a much more in-depth video on this topic?
@snc85155 ай бұрын
Yeah! It definetly works. Ive experienced it many times over the years but only a few times it actually led to a conversation. Since most of the time the females who do this are not the ones im attracted to or I happen to be in a relationship. But it definetly gets a man attention and then he has to decide what to do next... awesome video, Orion!
@dirtyace16685 ай бұрын
It's totally ok if you end up talking with someone who you have no romantic interest in. It's still an opportunity to practice socializing which is a very valuable skill.
@ashok.vardhan.g5 ай бұрын
They won't even make this effort these days. Entitled to the core. Even the 30+
@Zebielie5 ай бұрын
Especially the 30+. Their standards never go down and they go up the fastest during the denial phase. Such os the tragedy of the modern female.
@user-jv4kj1cv8k5 ай бұрын
I’m 38 and am open to this. Stop the negativity.
@M0viLover5 ай бұрын
Yup. Aaron Clarey did a *roast* of Bumble / their CEO, because it is "too much of a burden*" for da w0men to initiate contact .. on a dating app which differentiates itself from *all* the others, because of *that* feature!!
@RodrigoTechador5 ай бұрын
@@ZebielieMore than that, they brag about their standards going up and genuinely seem to think men should consider that attractive.
@andrew1717xx5 ай бұрын
@@user-jv4kj1cv8k**Woosh** This is a 'prove it' comment. He won't believe the attitude will change until he see's it. Outside of this I don't know what you are complaining about other than crying for attention. Whats it going to be?
@GameW2005 ай бұрын
Life changing about always being ready to break that “right” to be “left alone”
@skreppeknekker5 ай бұрын
I’ve been married for 10 years soon and Dr Orion’s come-hither look made me feel more attractive than I’ve felt in years
@leyenda61495 ай бұрын
Men are simple, but we can also be easily manipulated. Especially when we are younger and lack experience. I hope Dr. T. one day does a video about how susceptible we are to overly investing and being accommodating and get trapped when we are young, dumb, and full of... well, you know
@DV-vn8rj5 ай бұрын
Finally an intelligent man giving some good dating advice to women.
@AjaySunnah3 ай бұрын
that's what i am saying, sometimes i feel like Dr orion really gets me
@AetherXIV5 ай бұрын
ladies, he's dead on.
@TransgirlsEnjoyer5 ай бұрын
lol no, this is normal, and just plausible deniability and still puts onus on men
@rgrnurse5 ай бұрын
This is great!! I love the underlying humor in your voice 😂 time for me to maybe try out my… “come hither stare” 🔥
@roses65645 ай бұрын
Women want to be pursued. Period. If she must actively pursue him, this places her in a masculine role and she feels she has no inherent value high enough that would motivate a guy to take the risk and ask her. It's actually kind of demeaning. For a man to have to pursue - it is not. What's sad is that Me Too type of insanities and pretenses have caused so many men to actually fear for their life to do what men are naturally supposed to do.
@CyberPunkBadGuy5 ай бұрын
Unlucky, this si 2024. if she thinks her "inherit value" is enough aka Pucci. what makes her diffrent from any other woman? wouldnt he not be better off with anyone else. thats the problem with loser women who have an ego born of nothing but the imagination that men would compromise themselves for her because pucci.
@pauldavids71675 ай бұрын
Well what makes you think that men don’t want to be pursued or at least give us a freaking clue that you’re interested… where has it ever been stated that it’s men’s job to pursue women? In all of history I’ve never read that that ,doesn’t mean that I don’t follow the social norms but it’s not fact…
@janushomer91115 ай бұрын
you're going to pursue yourself
@roses65645 ай бұрын
@@pauldavids7167 Women DO give "freaking clues" ALL THE TIME. The trouble is people are often indifferent towards others who give them clues they are interested, and they want who they want, which is usually someone who has their eyes on someone else, and so on. That applies to both men and women. When two people with genuine interest in each other come together, it's an actual miracle because then there is natural merging, not one "pursing" the other while the other is "meh," hoping in fact for someone else. The rest is just market games. As for "all of history" - it is absolutely true that men have pursued women, since women are de facto the more valuable sex from a biological/reproductive standpoint. Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive type thing. Granted, prime sperm is THE most expensive, but that's a different story. That's where you can expect women to drop handkerchiefs and passively, discreetly "pursue" the man. But that will not be more than signaling interest, for plausible deniability, as Taraban clarified. Any woman who's making direct, overt, actual advances to a guy is not a woman you would want anyway, and if you do, you are a deep, hopeless Beta which no woman worth her salt would value anyway.
@roses65645 ай бұрын
@@janushomer9111 Why, if I I have pursuers? ;-)
@alediaz675 ай бұрын
Really a good one colleague, that works for years but women seem to forget this. If I may I'll add another one after that 3 secs eye to eye besides the look another way and the 1 sec eye roll with a slight smile, and it's look down with a smile and then look to him again, then look look the other way keeping that slight smile. And there are many other ways to "drop a handkerchief" but I don't know if men nowadays are able to notice them... I like your job and the changes you made from your old standings. 👏👏👏
@soniadetert17335 ай бұрын
I love this guy
@georgeg23695 ай бұрын
I accidentally dropped a like - oh Dr Orion….how good of you to notice [blushes] 😊
@BetterLoveMovement5 ай бұрын
My personal favorite “tactic” to get a man’s undivided attention is to walk up behind him and place my hand on his back and call him a random name. When he turns around, I blush and say “Oops! I thought you were my friend (insert fake name here)! So sorry!” Again, I also look him in his eyes and smile when I say it. Works every time (unless he’s engaged or married). 😉
@janushomer91115 ай бұрын
and then he disappears after sex
@BetterLoveMovement5 ай бұрын
@janushomer9111 I don’t sleep with men who aren’t my husband so he’s going to need a judge and a lawyer to leave.💯 When you properly vet a man and watch what he shows you instead of listening to just his words, you tend to do better in relationships. Many women give a man EVERYTHING up front and don’t require that a man invest in them. And they get burned every single time. I take my time and let this progress SLOWLY. If it’s going to fall apart, then it will happen before I’ve given all of myself away. There will always be some risk in love and relationships, however women can minimize that risk by using discernment and taking things slow.
@janushomer91115 ай бұрын
@@BetterLoveMovement I'm not going to lose braincells reading that...
@TheBlueOrRed-Pill5 ай бұрын
Better yet, just give him complements than calling him by a wrong name. I would not have responded to that even if I was single. Complement by saying you have good taste & I love men with good taste, then look him in his eyes & smile--end it up by saying by the way my name is Jenny & walk away.
@Therevolution75 ай бұрын
Andrew huberman- ‘I hear you are hurt and I will hear you as long as is needed for us’
@J.Braxton5 ай бұрын
Bend & Snap, ladies
@rob215 ай бұрын
Of course it helps if you look like Elle Woods.
@Xyz467865 ай бұрын
😆
@4seasons5465 ай бұрын
Good one ☝️ ❤loved that movie was my movie to exercise with 🙌
@SK-le1gm5 ай бұрын
Ladies this is good advice.
@goldentimes19985 ай бұрын
Can you do a video on staying in contact with an ex. The reasons please , including why ? Its a good / bad idea ,do woman do more than men ? Why social media has made this easy even after years of separation, etc etc please
@tess77985 ай бұрын
This exact eye contact move can be seen in Ed Sheeran’s music video “The Shape of You” on youtube. The female boxer nails the eye contact, and Ed is immediately interested.
@seemoretoys59445 ай бұрын
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard And they're like, it's better than yours
@Elle.Energy5 ай бұрын
Perfect example! It's extremely effective, so many options out there, just be open and learn how to filter. Loved the "I must've mistaken you for someone else." I'm gonna use that💛