The cherry on top: women are luxury goods

[@psychacks]

A client who believed that the juice isn't worth the squeeze once asked me what I personally get out of my relationships with women. This episode functionally summarizes my response, namely: a woman is the cherry on top. Strictly speaking, a cherry isn't necessary for a sundae - but it can help to perfect one. Making peace with the fact that modern women - like maraschino cherries - are luxury goods will help men withhold unreasonable expectations about what they can (and cannot) provide. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship

[@AnonymousAccount514]

Thanks…I needed to hear this

[@joendrsn]

Yes all true 💯 The missing part is what women might expect from Men. They expect men to provide their whole Sunday in terms of supporting them financially, emotionally and making them "happy." So a man thinks he's getting the Cherry which is realistically all he can hope for. But in a long-term situation that cherry will go sour, take over the whole bowl of ice cream and ruin him.

[@doyoueatrocks]

To start with I do love these videos but I feel like as men, we are constantly evolving and leveling ourselves up, so while these interesting reflections on men and women I think we need more tools to achieve a higher and better self because more than knowing everything about relationships, we really just wanna be successful at it. I do believe I have received a lot of value from this channel and I look forward to seeing what comes next.

[@limolnar]

Thank you for doing that very rare thing: empowering men. Lots of takeaways.

[@whenpigsfly8178]

absurdly priced luxury goods are begging to be substituted for.

[@DrBilly90210]

Having owned very nice automobiles, my first thought nowadays when i hear "luxury good" is.... Maintenance!

[@G44052]

Absolutely. Costly! The more perceived luxury “beauty”. The higher the maintenance cost. You must also keep that car around other luxury locations and people.

[@gregr1154]

my father has an S-class Mercedes. $500 for a part to get the windshield wipers working. luxury.

[@Gsp_in_NYC]

and massive depreciation.

[@IfSemper]

Yeah, but a good woman who loves you will want to add value by helping you in the maintainence of your Sundae, & assist you with future desserts you may want to build. : )

[@funloverdavis1796]

You've already built the damn sundae. Stop watching Disney movies.

[@ryanh9388]

Well said, I think women amplify life. They make the good times better and the bad times worse.

[@PhilosophyMeetsPsychology]

It is interesting how you frame it

[@GerardoDelValle.]

Well said. Man up and Follow your path , other men had it worse , being alone is actually enjoyable.

[@pavementstoneguy]

That's why, unless you want children, a man should NEVER sign a marriage contract with one. Staying unmarried is a hedge against the downside.

[@PhilosophyMeetsPsychology]

@@pavementstoneguy I am beginning to ask myself why we don't create and offer our own marriage contracts to women. If companies are allowed to create their own contracts why can't or don't we.

[@pavementstoneguy]

@@PhilosophyMeetsPsychology Unfortunately, no matter what contract she signs, it will end up in family court, which is NOT a criminal court and they can throw out contracts, prenuptial agreements, ect. The judge in family court has all the power, so you are at their mercy 🥲

[@allenlin7333]

"cherries should be fresh" is gonna trigger a lot of older women ...lol

[@Mattjohnson5192]

🤣

[@jahlil2749]

😮😅

[@anthonymichaels257]

And not smell like fish.

[@mansooraman4723]

Haha exactly.

[@G44052]

Right, not be chewed up by others and then placed on top of my sundae for me to perceive as the fresh cherry on top.

[@Wyman642]

Some of us found women early, in my case a fellow law student who was traditional and family oriented. She helped me mature and introduced me to many things I didn’t know due to my poor background and upbringing. We are now going on 35 years of marriage and have raised 2 great kids. Nothing is perfect, but perhaps we were the very lucky few who made it work with her adding tremendous value to my life from the beginning.

[@Bandoolero]

brah you hit the jackpot! happy for you

[@shahzaib4011]

Congratulations to you both : )

[@Wyman642]

Perhaps assortative mating (among people in professional schools) plays by diff rules.

[@JD..........]

It sounds like you disagree with the cherry metaphor. I know women are challenging, but I can't take this video title seriously. Do we not understand how babies work, how families work, how lineage works? Does this cherry have cocaine in it or something? Doesn't even come close to the significance a real relationship w a woman means.

[@testthewest123]

Yeah, it is the same with me. We work as a team and she is one of the few persons I can trust. She also does a lot of things, I didn't have to learn in the first place. Cooking, doing taxes, laundry etc. I had someone you had my back, and I could focus on my career. Which I did and thus now bring in the cash, while she can enjoy her life doing a part time job she likes. She is a bog part of why we both can live in wealthy circumstances.

[@Garrison-x3d]

Picture a bunch of cherries waiting at the finish line, waiting to jump on top of the winning Sundae

[@grantwithers]

apt

[@andrewrai5752]

That Sundae is called Leonardo DeCaprio! It’s definitely not the rest of us!

[@ronj9448]

@@andrewrai5752 And even he says "No cherries born before 2000 please" since that bunch of cherries is so large he can be picky.

[@SuperDranger]

I can't believe this guy is 40 years old. We're the same age and he's teaching me things. I wish I had resources like this when I was in my twenties.. the analogies he uses on point.

[@Ideophagous]

He reads a lot. Most things worth saying have already been said, over and over. In an interview he mentioned that he reads more to the dead than the living, i.e. great works that have withstood the test of time.

[@marguskiis7711]

He is a classic bitter man in his 40s.

[@cubiczirconiabeard5366]

He just has seen more nutcases than you have, because it is his job.

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

I'm 58 and I've learned more about relationships and women in the past year than I previously had during my whole life!

[@jameskamotho7513]

​@@marguskiis7711Is he right or not?

[@NilsMacQ]

Oh Man, This resonates hard, I've considered Women Luxury goods for YEARS!

[@theolajide]

same

[@d3ltaking419]

Exactly it’s like buying the luxury care or watch.

[@DJ_Mooseknucks]

Luxury in this case implies they're pricey, not high quality. Keep that in mind.

[@d3ltaking419]

@@DJ_Mooseknucks think I phone for example 😂

[@TGP109]

Men are costly to women as well.

[@RuffWood22]

Great analogy Orion. Definitely an issue I had in my 20’s. Now in my early 30’s, I fully comprehend that only yourself, individually, can create and bring happiness and fulfillment to your own life.

[@GaryAJMartin]

Yeah, try creating a baby with out one though.😉

[@mystykalmn4434]

You can adopt ​@@GaryAJMartin

[@fredsuccess]

@@GaryAJMartin Not everyone wants kids.

[@GaryAJMartin]

@@fredsuccess Of course. But some still do. Otherwise it’s humanity over. It’s the “elephant in the room” which seems to be overlooked on here.

[@MRFLOPPYmr]

​@@GaryAJMartinwhat's so bad about human society being "over"🤷‍♂️

[@_Diggler]

I can’t afford women anymore. Financially and emotionally.

[@richien8472]

😂

[@donatello9482]

🤣😂

[@sergiug2837]

I never could... I was priced out from the start..

[@coolaid7546]

Same realization I recently had. I could only afford my mortgage, retirement, and humble lifestyle. Not enough for a wife and kids. I live in SoCal.

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

women are equal to men in most countries so they can take care of themselves financially

[@aek72]

I once heard a veterinarian talk about some clients complaining about the costs: “ they should know that having pets is a luxury “, he said….

[@grantwithers]

Having pets didn't used to be a luxury. You could just let the dog/cat hang around for scraps.

[@kevinchoi6792]

@@grantwithers Well that's not how it works anymore unless you're in rural area

[@M0viLover]

I had that *exact* discussion with a w0man, a number of years ago. She changed her mind about meeting me, after I said i was not a fan of dogs. She was a dog owner.. My last communication with her, I used that *exact* phrase. I wished her luck finding *a man,* who would, ya know: care for her when she was sick, be a travel companion, provide financial resources when retired, etc.

[@ironmonkey1512]

I think horses are a good example of what was once a necessity becoming a luxury.

[@oceanaxim]

I often think that when I see a homeless person asking for money with a dog... I think, I wish I could afford a dog!

[@socal1ohya]

I just had a Sundae with no cherries and I'll tell you what It was awesome

[@rayzerot]

*Sundae Autocorrect got you there

[@socal1ohya]

Hahaha

[@GreatRetro]

next time you shoult put 2 cherries on your "Sundae" man! ^_^

[@TheAustrianPainter87]

Ya but mine has a 🍒. There's levels 😊

[@michaeljeffery7466]

Wish more guys had this mindset.

[@anisenkrill6179]

Watch what happens to your bank account after getting rid of a girlfriend. It's all the evidence you need to realize they are luxury items.

[@luckyjayakody]

The dialogue between Jack Reacher and the random club girl summarizes this whole point. Hookers are far cheaper, plus way less trouble and drama.

[@tomgrove7212]

Dating to find one is even more expensive and time consuming

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

@@anisenkrill6179 they’re entitled to nothing though. If they spend so much of their own money, why reward them for being broke?

[@dezcuts5319]

@@luckyjayakodywhich is exactly why it should be easier for men to ruthlessly dictate the terms and conditions to them. Create your value then tell them take it or leave it.

[@smokingcrab2290]

Stop spending money on women

[@ngugi7279]

"A man to a woman is Necessity, A woman to a man is a luxury". That's what my uncle told me in year 2003.

[@yarly3180]

So is your uncle a billionaire or living under a bridge or something in between? Some context is helpful here. 😉

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

This is a horrible analogy. This gives women power for existing and forces us to prove more and more just to be taken seriously. You should strive to be wanted rather than needed any day of the week

[@TheAustrianPainter87]

​@@marcusmcgraw3519It's an apt analogy. Read it again

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

@@TheAustrianPainter87 again, horrible analogy. Why would a woman be more valuable just for existing? If you can’t answer my question then you’re going to lose this one

[@Merth667]

@@marcusmcgraw3519 It's not that. It's that women are a net loss for men in the material sense. You will almost never come out on top.

[@platinumcontent9]

For now on I will look myself in the mirror every morning and tell myself "I am the sundae"

[@melissalewis22020]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fantastic

[@BantuEconomicServices]

@@platinumcontent9 I love it

[@beefchampion2792]

Nice one! 🤣

[@maurocarballo7699]

@@platinumcontent9 you are bro

[@rizzamaeong]

err....go in without prejudice. Be blank i'd say. Prejudice will ruin what wouldn't have been.

[@mathias1dk]

When (most) women have ignored you, disrespected you or even ridiculed you when you were young, inexperienced and low on resources, it really makes you suspicious when the scale is finally tipping the other way. I know that they want something from me, and it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my circumstances. Who in their right mind would actually give in to that? If you haven't by that time built up your own self esteem and respect, you will be an ideal object for exploitation.

[@chipsteve]

Exactly correct 💯. And literally nobody shames women for using men for everything. But whenever a fling doesn't last - "no fair, he USED me!" 🤡

[@Vantitas]

🎯

[@smokingcrab2290]

Women need boundaries. Ever since I took my balls back and stopped over-giving my time, money, emotions, etc being my genuine self, things have turned around. It makes you way more confident. I learned that a lack of confidence is actually not related to a lack of ability or lack of attractive qualities. It's actually more so related to a lack of self respect and boundaries. Men who approach women and try to get the women to like them are demonstrating an utter lack of boundaries. They're saying "i know nothing about you, but will you like me please?" and it reeks of desperation. You need to act in a way that says "im open to a connection, but only if you show me you're worth it". This is why i only approach women who genuinely seem like nice people. I don't just approach if they're hot. Hotness is so overplayed and so abundant. Find a girl whose both attractive and can give you some kind of a heart connection. And even if you find her, always keep your boundaries up. Without boundaries you're useless as a man. You have to uphold your personal power and respect at all times and never give a woman the power to hurt you or take from you.

[@alitava6844]

Agree. A real woman that is into you, of course won't charge you a lot. A real woman is a responsible person who takes care of you no matter what. If she sit back and watch you struggling with money to provide for her lifestyle, she doesn't worth it. Women are not and should not be luxury. They should be an asset in your life.

[@connorduke4619]

Correct, so therefore make sure to work on building your self-esteem.

[@chrisbunka]

I was half-expecting Orion to say, “Only you can prevent forest fires.”

[@marcuschauvin7039]

HAhahaha!!!

[@amr254]

😅😂😅😂

[@EliDwyer]

Same! You have to be a certain age to anticipate that!

[@chrisbunka]

@@EliDwyer Yeah, I know it comes with the territory for me😅

[@danielcobian2123]

😂😂😂😂😂 Good 1

[@brianjones9780]

Raising a family becoming a less and less standard choice is why things have gotten this way. Our society treats having children practically like deciding if you want a dog or not. "I don't like dogs, I'm not gonna get one." Before that, it was seen for both men and women as a duty to their family and society to procreate and raise a strong functional family, your social status depended on it. Ironically, the free love movement and removing the social responsibility to maintain a healthy monogamous relationship and have children, is precisely what led to women now only being a luxury in a man's life and thus being treated as such. Securing a lasting relationship has never been harder for women. Even bringing a child into the picture does little to cement things when there is no real social repercussions to having a kid and leaving anymore, beyond paying child support. Essentially, the entire initial reason for romantic love [edit: ...from a biological sense...] has been removed as a "progressive" move by society, and we no longer have any base to rely upon for those relationships beyond the feeling of love itself, which is subject to change from one day to the next. People start seeing it like, who wants to keep up maintenance on a car if you don't need it to get anywhere? As soon as it needs even an oil change, take it back to the dealership. When all you need another person for is some fun and excitement and a momentary feeling of companionship, you're likely to put that same little effort into the relationship.

[@superbirden57]

Brilliantly and succinctly put. Thank you.

[@ratamacue0320]

Well observed!

[@GaryAJMartin]

Well, if we stop having “dogs” bye bye humanity. Unless they can grow them in a machine. 😊

[@Camper292000]

Well said. Unfortunately!

[@John-i1g]

Incredibly distilled insights.

[@Bluesmoke4200]

Between what influencers are telling women on one side and men on the other it's no wonder modern dating is a hellscape.

[@desertrose111]

@@Bluesmoke4200 Most underrated comment. 💯

[@josephblowseph6123]

This is a young persons response and you mean well. But how about it's what we've all been "taught" around feminism and that we've been "taught" with much venom to agree or else....for decades...that "the blank slate" is correct when we now know it's not. The blank slate states that men and women are formed by culture, not nature. We are somewhat of course formed by how we nurture and teach, of course, nobody is denying that. But we have found now through decades of research and new technology that male and female minds evolved differently too, not just do we have different bodies but those bodies being different led to our tasks being different and that led to our brains evolving different skill sets and interests. Also, the "wage gap" #'s have been cooked for decades. When you account for hours worked, for degrees gotten and all the factors spelled out the gap simply isn't there. In fact women get more options for schooling and what is taught there and by who. They get quotas also for work, and HR favors them there. You may not know this but for decades now men and culture walk on eggshells to dare simply disagree with a feminist talking point. This has normalized a deep psychological privilege in women without even knowing their own power and sway. So that makes it to simply hear criticism as women seems wrong, seems like that man must be bad or a loser. What you're seeing and what is reported is of course the fallout from this, but only the negative on the male side of that story. Women we're incapable of being critical of. If we do we lose work and life, love. So men don't. And women are raised in this, normalized into never really hearing the male side of things, understanding we all of us are wrong in these huge ways we think about men and women (the blank slate and wage gap, please read up on these issues.)

[@Polza-sd1sm]

What makes me laugh! These are certain people who follow influencers whether male or female instead of living their own lives . . . 😂🤣😂 They are really desperate in their lives 😂🤣

[@Bluesmoke4200]

​​@@josephblowseph6123OK... I couldn't read all of what you wrote sorry pressed for time but my general point is that both male and female oriented influencers celebrate the worst in each gender. Influencers tell women to be gold diggers, select men solely based on criteria such a wealth and financial success, demand to be "chased", spoiled and treated like a princess and to never let the guy think she likes him too much. OTOH men are being taught that women are baubles to be collected and that they took shouldn't invest too much or show too much interest and that they should demand "respect" and expect to control the relationship. Obviously a relationship cannot work if both sides are going into things behaving like entitled 16 year-old girls operating under the belief that they are "the prize", the other side must both initiate and drive things and that to show interest indicates weakness. This is why dating is like those 8th grade dances where sveryone stands on the wall giggling to their friends because everyone is afraid to be the first to get on the floor. It's sad that actual adults are behaving this way and taking this nonsense at face value when these "influencers" are just throwing garbage that they would never follow in their own personal lives at them and laughing and then laughing all the way to the bank. Can you imagine the quality of a date with a guy who just watched this video? I feel sorry for the woman if she went into the date looking forward to getting to know a new guy and maybe forge a new relationship and then had to suffer through three hours of some idiot who treats her like a "cherry" auditioning to possibly top his "sundae.". No woman in her right mind would be attracted to such a man, and then when he is inevitably rejected he returns home and laments online that women are superficial gold diggers who use men for free meals and then dump them. Humans survived thousands of generations simply by being honest and going after what they wanted and behaving like normal people. I don't understand why all these convoluted mind games are suddenly necessary just because we have smart phones. 🤷🏽‍♀ EDIT: I realize my reply was just as lengthy as yours so I entirely understand if you cannot peruse it 😁️

[@Bluesmoke4200]

​@@desertrose111Somewhere in America, right now a woman is eagerly getting ready to go on a first date with a man who just watched this video. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@109PokerFace]

Oh... So that's what happened with my ex, I was looking for a cherry, but instead found a turd that completely ruined my sunday :(

[@grinningchicken]

Johnny Depps burner account 😉

[@skyfriend09]

Agreed and I paid far too much money for that cherry.

[@Truth1771]

"You don't need a cherry, to have a Sunday." Just that saying right there saved me years worth of overthinking

[@humanyoda]

sundae

[@grantwithers]

Thing is, going through the trouble of making the sundae isn't worth it for many men without a woman.

[@mintymatt777]

@@grantwithers exactly, a huge problem

[@mikegathercole]

May your 'over-thinking' always be profitable.

[@mikegathercole]

It's a lot easier if you can find a kindred spirit that wants the things as you and is willing to work together to make it happen. But that's pure luck.

[@JohnSmith-ti2kp]

Luxury goods are seriously depreciating assets. That is why I don't have any.

[@agrxdrowflow958]

Good point, but not necessarily... Lots of Renaissance paintings hold their value. The billionaires wouldn't invest in them if they didn't.

[@alinazang6651]

​@@agrxdrowflow958and very rare. Most women are not Renaissance paintings. Most are paint by number, hopefully done by someone with skill.

[@tarun9542]

@@agrxdrowflow958 They are valuable because they are known by the whole world but owned by only one.

[@JohnSmith-ti2kp]

@@agrxdrowflow958 There are always exceptions. Can you afford to buy and hold a Renaissance painting?

[@vladivf]

@@agrxdrowflow958 You can't compare art with expensive cars, designer clothes, women. They're different things.

[@waysofzen]

Kids, bro... a good woman who will help raise your kids right... is worth all gold in Erobor. Until you find her, I don't know what to say about the women in-between. 😂 Shout-out to the good women out there !!

[@grantwithers]

He noted that he gave many a woman that chance, none took him up on that offer. As has happened to millions of men nowadays.

[@lildragon6415]

​@@grantwithers Don't date women who don't want to have kids. Don't waste time on women who just want a good time. If you, as a guy, are looking for a good time and expect to find the mother of your children, then you are trying to serve two opposing masters. Set your own priorities straight.

[@DurkaDur-bx4ks]

Shout out to the good women out there!... all 12 of them? 😅

[@leebailey1220]

Dude i love how orion breaks down women so professionally this is extremely high IQ red pill

[@marguskiis7711]

It is sell out to the red pill losers.

[@keithsmith5310]

Please don't disrespect him by calling it "red pill" 🤮

[@davidd9027]

@@leebailey1220 I normally agree with Orion, but this one construct a very seductive point but at the same time, women are so much more than just a cherry on top we all come from mothers. Some of us has been blessed with grandmothers and you know it’s very limiting to see women just cherries on top of course only talking about if you’re dating or planning to marry one is what his analogy is getting at

[@Mr.Honest247]

@@keithsmith5310 Red pill is the Call Of Duty of modern speaking and anything that popular will always get treated like shit. Funny thing that humans do.

[@keithsmith5310]

@davidd9027 having a mother or grandmother wouldn't matter if they didn't force you to be born against your will in the first place. Weak point.

[@earlyriiser]

Being a man is simultaneously the best and the most difficult experience

[@LustyLichKing]

I love the turmoil and strife though. Being a woman would be so endlessly boring, having the entire world break its back for your every whim. All we achieve is from our own merits, and all we possess is from our own harvests.

[@LukeSly91]

being a beautiful woman*

[@evenoemi3009]

@@LustyLichKing😂 wtf ! In what earth women don’t have to work hard to achieve things in their life ! Our lives certainly Not free of struggles and growth and working hard to be someone ! We probably work even harder to be recognised ! I don’t want to be no one’s sex toy to have money . Cause what kind of accomplishment is that plus majority men don’t even have money. Women work hard to be someone and be recognised every day . We are more then vagina smh and if you think easy to be women you are mistaken . We bleed monthly , we birth and we still get up and go out in the world and work !

[@Manny123-y3j]

I don't think it used to be like this, but I think it is like this now. Most women don't really offer much tbh. If you're a high value man, not necessarily rich but just a guy who has himself together and his life together well, you're going to have a tough time finding a woman who adds much to your life or even one that is worth keeping around. Not only that, but if you treat women as more than just a complement to your life, they lose interest in you anyway. Everything in this video is good advice. Thanks, Doc.

[@MVProfits]

True. Nice analogy. BTW a lot of women expect "founders equity" by going for men already on top, but why would a sane man oblige her? Women tend to go more and more for the same men, who won't commit as they too have options, and of course then complain that "all the good men are gone" ha ha. Never their fault. Meanwhile, good men are invisible to them.

[@Vantitas]

🎯

[@jamesbickle4912]

Founders equity! Love it. Thanks!

[@HalfAsianDerp]

I'm 30 now, I've had success with women since my early twenties. I've been in love before and had my heart broken. Been in a handful of relationships and more hook ups than Id like to count. Women really are only worth putting up with to get access to sex. There are other benefits like the doctor mentioned. They can show you new experiences you wouldn't try yourself. It's nice to have someone to communicate with regularly. Cuddling is nice. But dealing with women's emotions and maintaining them is exhausting, just not worth it long term, not even touching on the risks that come with marriage

[@MVProfits]

So true! Its NOT just the sex. "They can show you new experiences you wouldn't try yourself. It's nice to have someone to communicate with regularly. Cuddling is nice. But dealing with women's emotions and maintaining them is exhausting, just not worth it long term". All accurate, certainly including the last sentence!

[@Zzz-vh3mu]

U just haven’t attracted a high quality woman yet

[@yupindeed5422]

​@@Zzz-vh3mu Why are they different?

[@ronmexico5908]

High quality is a myth. At best it’s an act that can’t be maintained

[@Zzz-vh3mu]

@@ronmexico5908 I mean your only chances of attaining one are a highschool relationship. Or being ridiculously smart or attractive. Or being over 6 foot, relatively attractive, well educated, and mid 7 figure net worth. So only a sliver of the male of the population (not you) actually has the wherewithal to succeed getting a young hot virgin or whatever other qualities they truly desire in a woman and having her obsessed with them.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

Yup, as a man with almost everything he wants in life, I feel like women are more liabilities than not. I find them more enjoyable and loving when I’m on my dolly. Also, when you’re on top of your game as a man, being in a relationship can sometimes hinder you from reaching your true potential because you’re always compromising and can’t fully invest in yourself. Like a tiger losing its skills and instincts over time because it’s locked in a cage.

[@1Plebeian]

Dolly?

[@apostolosderakis9840]

@@1Plebeian dolly = any girl or woman, esp. when attractive; also as a term of affection. He is on his dolly ( and maybe in as well)

[@Khan-rz8qi]

@@apostolosderakis9840 dolly= slang term for saying “on my own”.

[@apostolosderakis9840]

@@Khan-rz8qi so you meant DOLEY, and that is NY slang? I learned something new :)

[@Khan-rz8qi]

@@apostolosderakis9840 word you already know🗽

[@melenico4512]

Don't search for your happiness in another individual.

[@AmandaRestivo]

This is the only lesson here to learn and live.

[@Polza-sd1sm]

Finally, A NORMAL PERSON AND NORMAL COMMENT ✌️✌️

[@Mr.Honest247]

Because when they leave, your happiness leaves with them.

[@Nordic_Sky]

Two ways to approach a relationship with a woman. (1) Marry someone your age right out of college and build a life together. (2) In middle age, when successful, marry a woman much younger (Orion's "cherry."). Both can work. I'm 62 and my (third) wife is 31 and gorgeous. Do I need her? No. Can I divorce her any time I want? Yes, it will cost me a little, but so what. These days, the only time a woman really needs a man is when she is mid to late 30s and running out of time to have kids. Otherwise, she doesn't, and that's why women these days just aren't that hungry to be in a relationship, which is what Orion's client in this video is experiencing. Guys, be successful and be the one calling the shots. Tough? Sure. But that's life.

[@edheldude]

You can't choose to marry one and they don't want to build anything anymore. They want it all and offer nothing in return.

[@DanIngham]

@@edheldudeyou are probably talking about the one specific country you are from. Sometimes you got to just open up and look around elsewhere and go where you are valued most.

[@drwayne_carter9115]

I'm not taking any advice from a man that lost half his net worth twice and on track to lose it a third time

[@Nordic_Sky]

@@drwayne_carter9115 The first two made the same amount of money as me (one a top MBA, the other an eye surgeon). So no loss on either one. This one has a strict, enforceable, prenup. So don't make assumptions.

[@marguskiis7711]

Wait ca 10 years and you will lose the wife.

[@ryanh9388]

This damn near perfectly describes my experience before 30 and after 30

[@hoi-polloi1863]

Homeslice, you need to write your autobiography and tell us what the hell happened during that exact 30th year. ;D

[@ronj9448]

@@hoi-polloi1863 Yeah curious minds want to know. "The year of living dangerously"

[@Deb_deCoder]

Are you successful after 30?

[@lukenielsen8397]

"Long gone are the days when women were required to provide necessary value." And there is the truth that you really need to think about hard! "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar!

[@mrmeow2297]

An oldie but a goodie

[@Hannoshobazz_Neolmech]

@@lukenielsen8397 Thank you. Enjoy the 'Play Things' of this life, when you choose to.

[@kriispyskinz]

They are born with value that none of them preserve for the future. Men have to build and obtain value. We are not the same

[@apostolosderakis9840]

"Vilar explains how it works: if women are viewed as weak, less is expected of them; and therefore they are given more leeway in society than men." So, is the "how much to expect from a cherry?" argument leading to more satisfactory relationships, especially for men?

[@Aliens-Are-Our-Friends2027]

raising kids IN the household. fuck public education as it currently is.

[@Ancientlaws]

The idea that women are cherries to your life is solid, as long as you don’t want children. When you bring children into the picture, they become part of the whole thing

[@sammyb1651]

True. But at the same time, don't "objectify them as baby production machines" etc etc etc ad nauseam.

[@rayzerot]

Adopt. Or find a surrogate mom. Being in a relationship with a woman isn't necessary if all you want is kids

[@sammyb1651]

@@rayzerot In fairness, denying kids a mom is a pretty harsh step. I know single moms are happy to do that re: fathers but surely we're better than that?

[@oneoone]

​@@sammyb1651I agree. Even if I do go the surrogate route, I would still want my son/daughter to have healthy life experiences with a motherly figure in their life on a consistent basis (and grandma isnt a suitable substitute, she deserves her own life at this point).

[@sammyb1651]

@@oneoone Agreed 100% mate!

[@vincentzacks9584]

I apologize for being crass. For me, it's essentially about the sex.

[@eddiejohnson4434]

That’s why countries where pros aren’t arrested have women who offer more than just sex. In the U.S. the govt artificially inflates women’s value

[@nwjh1957]

Yes, but that isn't as expensive as keeping a woman full-time. Research not long ago suggested that sex costs about $250 to $300 in most cultures (reasonably consistently allowing for different median income). That's as much as a good dinner for two. Orion has discussed the question of the huge opportunity cost if you are well-off to try to court women and get sex. You may be better to buy it when you need it, and leave it at that.

[@Nickelodeon81]

yes, the cherry

[@nwjh1957]

@@Nickelodeon81 With the sundaes you buy, the cherry was popped long ago.....

[@user-nz6tq3vc5u]

​@@nwjh1957I know the whole idea of body count goes out the window then

[@timotharcher]

Never invite whamen into your life, if you can't be happy and satisfied with your life on YOUR own.

[@BoostedPastime]

Amen

[@chrisstone2506]

I don’t know, man. When you can’t successfully pair up with your biologically, given counterpart, maybe somethings up with you too

[@SheenaRea]

No problem tim, just date dudes!

[@GoogleUser-td1ic]

Men will always have their hand for comfort 😅.

[@QWERT-xp3qt]

real

[@-steban-]

Let’s use a car metaphor to explain this. What Orion refers to as the "cherry on top" is like a two-seater luxury convertible. It’s perfect for weekend getaways but not practical. It depreciates quickly, has a high cost of ownership, and while you could use it for grocery shopping, it's a constant headache for everyday life. On the other hand, you can get a good all-around vehicle-spacious, reliable, and capable. It might not be as flashy or exciting for special occasions, but it’s still enjoyable and makes your life easier and more convenient. Most people can’t afford or don’t want the headache of owning a luxury convertible. And if you really want to drive one, you can always rent it. The same logic applies to relationships: avoid women who are unstable, unreliable, unkind, or selfish-no matter how attractive or fun they may be. If you really want that excitement, you can rent them. But don't commit to it.

[@ALForb]

I realize now that I watch these videos as a practice of gratitude for how incongruous these kinds of conceptualizations are to my life and most of those around me.

[@mattgirlmattgirl]

Amen. On the other hand, these kinds of conceptualizations stem probably from the fact that his experience has been less wholesome, unfortuntely. And now he is building a whole theory around it where people are described as “goods”. So sad

[@Anamericanhomestead]

I make my own butter from Raw Milk and it takes me like 3 min in a Ninja. 50x better than store bought.

[@ElliottNest41]

Very well done! This is the way older men with resources should view women. Excellent analogy.

[@hereforthememes2351]

Great video, I think it really underscores how relationship models have changed since our grandparents' generation. Also, it explains how there is something to the high standards of successful women, they're looking for that cherry as well. The only problem is that often these women overrate their own sundae (their success, see the solo living 35yo+ women in big cities), and overrate how much of a cherry they are, leading to the endgame of being alone.

[@videowilliams]

I know a singer named Ivana here on KZbin with a popular video entitled "Cherry on a Sundae" whose chorus goes: "That's a cherry on a sundae Do you like what you see Do I make your day? And if you want to believe That my love is true I'll be a cherry on a sundae just for you" So at least when it comes to her art, she knows the score. In real life, she's been too busy to turn it into a relationship of substance to this point but it does back up your metaphor quite nicely.

[@PhilosophyMeetsPsychology]

I think deep down we all know it but is hard to admit it. Thinking of a relationship in terms of a business model always hits you hard in the jaw. Every man's life philosophy should be influenced by knowledge of psychology and not just cultural values. I am making it my vision to add my voice to these efforts with my videos.

[@dominiquelaflamme7804]

I've been waiting a looooong time to hear this. This video connects all the dots for me, it simply is the naked *truth* of the matter. Why didn't anyone tell me that earlier in my life? I'm *finally*, completely free to not care anymore. What a relief this is. Thank you Orion, you really are a constellation in my sky! ⭐️

[@xueyinglee4524]

The highlight of the video was the part where he said women arent willing to play the long game anymore, they chose the winner. As a woman who played the long game, the result is much more worthwhile and meaningful because he came from nothing and we both built a life together as how we wanted. It is important to find a woman who has the ability to take the steering wheel when the man is tired or sick.

[@jenn9371]

Thank you for saying this! Not all women are so superficial. Many of us met our husbands when we were young and broke; no guarantee of any type of wealth. But we all worked hard together, and shared goals, along with ups and downs. There are really good women out there.

[@anemesis9635]

ur awesome❤

[@UltraCodex66]

So bizzare to be watching this as someone who’s only 24 but who has been cultivating happiness for years on my own and have recently been getting the interest of women (again), pretty much as a bonus on top of all the good that I’ve been experiencing, like I feel as though I got sidetracked with depression and shit teens but at the same time blessed with these rough gems in my life, all the while staying out of shit relationships that tear others down

[@joegott9391]

My buddy has a cherry, but no sundae...cherry consumed it all

[@Thomas46457]

Excellent explanation of what I've always felt, but couldn't explain. Relationships are a luxury even wealthy guys can't afford!

[@macabreenterprise1823]

Wealthy guys can afford it

[@MegaAvalonn]

They can afford it. The question is it worth your money? The answer is no, because women are a luxury good. And seeing that women are a luxury good, only good looking/young women fit the aesthetic of a luxury good.

[@PitbullofWallStreet]

The problem with the *modern, Western women is that these cherries are …sour grapes.*

[@EVA-ki5vw]

Western women are the best. Try out non Western women, there are plenty on streets these days promoting, supporting and defending Palestine terrorism. Also, non Western women are manipulative enough to brainwash Western women, migration officers, aviation officers, schools, men like you and kids.

[@mystykalmn4434]

Self-sufficient men who can cook or do a lot for themselves don't really need any woman.

[@user-nz6tq3vc5u]

Sounds familiar. Masculism

[@canieto1]

Just finished the value of others. Incredibly good highly recommended.

[@williamyf]

At my age of 51, I had bad luck in finding a woman to share my life. As you said in another video, the good thing about reaching this age, is that people of my age bracket should probaly want to be with someone because they want to be with said someone, not be with the other out of a "marketplace". The trick would probably be to find a woman who sees me as the cherry ontop of her sundae as much as she is the cherry on top of mine...

[@terrybaikie2181]

You will be her cherrie on top so long as you keep paying and playing the dancing monkey...

[@grantwithers]

gl w that my bro

[@cmb_cma]

This is the way women should view men too. Be happy and fulfilled so that you and your partner are each other's cherry.

[@ryumura6615]

This guy is like a messiah for me I'm so glad that I got to know him this early stage of my life and in just a few months since I have started watching him, i have improved so much in terms of how I approach dating and other aspects of my life.

[@colehempel969]

Thank you for all of your videos Dr. Orion. They are a great resource and I really appreciate them. I just bought your book and it is coming in the mail.

[@SirGalahard]

23 years ago, I bought a Honda. It wasn't thrilling, but it was reliable and served me well. Now 23 years later, my Honda is requiring more and more maintenance, and it more often does not serve me well. I'm in the market for a new Mercedes-Benz, as I have become successful. But now my Honda is complaining that I am not faithful to her, and does not want to share the garage.

[@mergerogue4291]

But you are not faithful to it by definition. Are you?

[@nwjh1957]

Don't get a Benz! They haven't made reliable ones in 30 years. Same with BMW and other German cars. Get a Mazda or even another Honda! I've just put a new engine in my 25-year-old Honda and with some other work, it's looking at another 300k miles. I do have a 47-year-old car (luxury GT) which I've not been able to drive much for several years, so it needs a fair bit of work, but once done, it will be worth rather more and will be good for another 10 years or more (I've had it 20). I may need to get a larger SUV to do some towing, but that may be used in a rather more limited way. Working the analogy, if you can renew yourself, you can do the same to your Honda. Don't get something that looks flashy but comes with massive luxury costs, unless you want to pay those bills. A year ago I had a chance to be with a much younger model, but I saw what it was going to cost to keep her in the style to which she had become accustomed (wealthy builders), even if she tried to be a bit financially restrained, and that put an end to that.

[@hoi-polloi1863]

Well, which auto has the bigger ... bumper?

[@nwjh1957]

@@hoi-polloi1863 As it happens, the one I'm getting rid of for really bad performance issues!

[@YudaHnK]

Make sure headlights on the new car are nice and round

[@CheBa.]

It all makes sense now. A lot of things have become clear now.

[@Mattjohnson5192]

Until that Cheery takes your kids and half your stuff! Lease, never buy!

[@nickhexum01]

"Prenuptial Agreement! EVERYBODY should have a Pre-Nup." ~ Chris Rock.

[@amr254]

That's what all these podcasters fail to address. Alot of their message is for older men with adult kids. Or men with no kids. If you have a minor child with a woman, most of their message do not apply to you

[@Mattjohnson5192]

@@amr254 True...good point. I am an older man with adult children. I was just saying that it's hard to even view them as a cherry on the Sunday after you go through that

[@sirual5]

or rent. If you are going to airport once a month - way cheaper to take an Uber.

[@Mattjohnson5192]

@@sirual5 🤣true

[@lexzenis2544]

My mate said it best ....Having a woman will halve your happiness while at the same time double your sorrows.

[@chrisstone2506]

Maybe if you’re clueless. I wouldn’t listen to your friend. He doesn’t have it figured out.

[@oneoone]

Sounds like your friend picked some terrible cherries and decided to flood his sundae with them. 🤣

[@edheldude]

@@oneoone Men don't pick women, they choose from what's available to them.

[@mjaybee]

That was Schopenhauer. “Women make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.”

[@oneoone]

@edheldude nobody forced you to love, or impregnate, the trash women currently available to you. If you do not like your current selection of women, you need to level up your life so you can attract a better crop women. Get in better shape, make more money, improve your social status, groom yourself better, build some self-confidence.

[@stimpsonjcat67]

Just finished the book, Doc. Loved it start to finish and definitely got some useful perspective out of it. And for you audio-book only folks, he reads it himself. 10/10

[@2Oldcoots]

"The Value of Others" has been positively transformational for myself. Thank You Dr. Tariban for helping so many of us deepen our understanding of reality.

[@Hari983]

Metaphor beautifully chosen and articulated and the actual substance is very true. I couldn't agree more. It is liberating to both sides if men could understand that.

[@YellowToucan]

As you said, when you were younger you could have instrumentally benefitted from having a woman in your life, but you couldn't afford one. However, if you could (she lowered the cost of entry) I'm sure you would still be with her today. When women make themselves luxuries, do they not make themselves disposable to those who can afford them?

[@KR-df5uy]

Man - you hit the nail on the head 😂. For the men that can afford them the women make themselves disposable.

[@MegaAvalonn]

The answer to that is yes, which is why so many women are miserable and sad today, but they don't know why. For the first time in history, they have made themselves as disposable as men by pricing themselves up to the level of luxury goods. Unlike men however, they don't have the biology that equips them to handle disposability.

[@HanHao-qf1dh]

💯

[@joelpratley9248]

Only you can make yourself happy, peaceful and complete. Awesome.

[@Polza-sd1sm]

Finally, normal person and normal comment 👏

[@Hydrodictyon]

These thoughts are something I came to realise quite recently. I’m glad to have figured it out in my twenties and am now focused at building myself as a successful man before I start looking for my next serious relationship.

[@dougmelrose1093]

Great video Orion, also really enjoying your book. A lot of great insight there. Thanks for your work

[@FeroxV]

Much more often your woman will just drain your wallet and your mental stability, only rewarding you with insufferable disrespect. In my experience they just can’t comprehend the concept of gratefulness and simply unreasonable.

[@kentgibson]

Exactly my experience. Thank you for sharing, I am glad to not be alone and questioning why I had an unexpected outcome when compared to the expectation.

[@coolaid7546]

Same experience. Did we date the same woman!? 😂

[@grantwithers]

Friendly reminder that the girls he was offering to build with when he was younger are not "choosing men more materially established" these days, they're just hitting up chad.

[@smokingcrab2290]

Because Chad is a real man. Chad takes care of himself. Chad puts himself first. Chad respects himself. Chad establishes boundaries and doesn't waste his life pleasing women in attempt to earn his love. Chad knows vvomen are merely animals that need to be trained and disciplined. Chad knows he can leave at any given time and find another woman because he's not afraid of being alone. He knows when one door closes, another opens. This is why Chad succeeds.

[@grantwithers]

@@smokingcrab2290 I can't tell if you're memeing or being serious. As while all of that is somewhat true, it largely stems from him being chad in the first place, as I'm guessing you know already.

[@Mr.Honest247]

@@smokingcrab2290What was his name again?

[@lilyromaineshank8649]

This is how I feel about men and relationship actually. I think we can all look at relationships as a luxury.

[@billsanter]

You mean it's all transactional. I find this guy's ideas cynical and objectifying of both men and women. His views are shaped by being rejected by women in his younger years and now they only want him for his money. It's obvious he has never had a deep, satisfying relationship. I don't think he has any emotional intelligence; he has just learned to manipulate people. Or maybe I'm just old and things have changed.

[@flazjsg]

As long as you're making plenty of money you'll be fine. Just keep in mind that women age out of the workforce and live much longer than men on average.

[@tomyoung8563]

@@billsanter LOL

[@Trithus]

Probably THE BEST summary video on how a man should approach a relationship. And I've seen around 80% of your videos.

[@Profbaatz235]

nice analogy for sure. but riddle me this one: you build your sundae, you put a cherry on top of it, and you see that the cherry EATS your whole sundae and rolls away. if that happens once you will never get near any cherry again, no matter if they are luxury goods or not ;)

[@JeffreyGillespie]

I connect with myself at the end of the day. I take myself out to dinner. If I need my drycleaning picked up or dropped off. I can pay the dry cleaner a little bit extra, which is still a hell of a lot cheaper than having a woman in my life. 🤷

[@SheenaRea]

Very sensible comment.

[@user-nz6tq3vc5u]

Masculinism

[@Polza-sd1sm]

@@user-nz6tq3vc5uIt’s not masculinism ! And it’s not about gender ! A man or a woman can said that sentence ! It’s called « self-sufficiency »

[@Andy-pl7nk]

The cherry is sweet on the outside to bait you to eat it, but poison once you eat it.

[@eric_linden]

I hate cherries.

[@karl-heinzjean-francois8554]

😂

[@PitbullofWallStreet]

No. You have the Western sour grapes that inhabit North America. Cherries are extinct here.

[@mavrk.d]

Lol I was thinking the same. I get the analogy but cherries don’t make my sundae better

[@donatello9482]

@@PitbullofWallStreetThe western cherries has expired lol

[@grahambamford9073]

​@@PitbullofWallStreet "sour grapes" ..........😅 that was good....👍

[@reiniermuntjewerff874]

My mind has been blown away by this episode... I suddenly have seen THE LIGHT!! (like The Blues Brothers) Now I realise my friends are the most important things in my life and a woman is just a SWEET ADITIONAL friend as an EXTRA to have in life. I am so happy to see it now!! 🙂 Thank you so much doc!

[@KR-df5uy]

This is a powerful assessment. How many times have a man heard a woman say she is above an average man. The men who finally manage to get involved with one generally have expended time, money, and effort only to have a friend he knows gets women with little or no effort. Most men generally just write this off as the cost of doing business and accept this as acceptable loss when a relationship finally appears. Now when I hear a woman who don’t like dating after 40 and doesn’t want to waste her time, I will think on the number of dates that I went on which went no where and may mention this from time to time. Man this is going to be profound for a number of men. I am sure this episode is going to spawn a lot of reaction videos.

[@Cloverjay555]

Orion is my favorite thing about KZbin.

[@DennisFutball2396]

Okay. But when the Sunday (great life) costs $12 and the cherry (women) is a $200 add-on, is it worth it?

[@wildbill562]

What a great analogy. I'm on the keto diet, so I have not eaten ice cream for many years, but I get it. When you claimed that women are the cherry on top, the first image that popped into my mind was a turd. You addressed this at the end when you mentioned the characteristics of a good cherry vs. a rotten one. Pick a bad one and it ruins the entire sundae. Also, don't expect a woman to make you happy. My ex-wife expected this from me and it destroyed our marriage.

[@Alex-vl5jp]

This is genius concept! For last few years I have been tying to find exact analogy in my mind to conceptualize what the woma's today's value, feeling that I know exactrly what it is for nowadays but not be able to pronounce it in in coorrect and simple form. Now you just come with the perfect explanation and great analogy to portrait how women should be view by contemporary men correctly. Thank you for sharing it, you just heped me to finish that idea in my mid to perfection! I completely agree with your explanation and 100% sure that today a woman should be only view by men as a Luxury on top of other things that he achieves and gets by himself in life, and this is fair way of loking it also because for women on the other side - men is also only a luxury materialistic opporunity in a trade for her niceness. By the way, logiclly, this concept automaticly means that, today almost no man in population can afford such a luxury, and moreover not everybody needs it even someone theoreticaly could afford it. It is like a sports cars, - every man is would like to have one in their dreams, but almost no one will make to be able to afford to by it, and even if they theoreticly would - I would say not everybody actualy need a sports car it is not pratcial its a hadace of maintanence and service cost etc...... But It is beautiful!!! And gives you anforgetable feeleings of joy and pleasure , so at the end of the day you can say to yourself - it was definatly worthed of such a high costs. Just like sweet, bright, fresh lady by your side!

[@rhadiem]

This is brilliantly said. Men don't need women. Women don't need men. But it's much nicer when they both work well together. So.. the key question people need to ask is... how good of a cherry are you. REALLY.

[@a-t5380]

Everything in our society from the roads we drive on and phones we use are created and maintained by men. Women DO need men. We just created a society that’s ran so well they can turn around and say they don’t need the men that run it.

[@richien8472]

Men are not cherry to women. Men want women, women need men. Men are women's business, Women are men's pleasure.

[@edheldude]

Men are essential to women. Women can't literally survive without men. Men can survive without women but can't reproduce.

[@s.h.3622]

Men, you are precious and and so are women. Let us not forget how valuable we are to each other. Trust me when i say it's not all about money for women. We all need momey to live a decent life in this word, both men and women, so let's not just blame women here. Women at the end of the day want to feel safe with her man (mentally, emotionally, spiritually and to some extent financially as well in the case of her having children and not being able to work full-time). Men are natural providers and women are natural nurturers. So let us honour both roles and complement each other. As long as a man has a provider mindset, it doesn't matter how much he earns. He will work hard to provide a decent life for his woman. He should focus on becoming the best version of the man he is. It is his character that truly counts, not his bank account. Money comes and goes, but a good character and heart can never be bought. And a good woman will always notice and appreciate that. Do not become bitter, dear men. We as women love you and need you.

[@danielmcvey8515]

I get where you’re coming from but man, what a bleak point of view for most guys. I’m fortunate to have been married for 22 years. It didn’t work out and I got divorced about 10 years ago. Now, in my 50’s this point of view makes total sense. I focus on work and and what I want to accomplish in life, have a cherry on my sundae once in awhile and roll on.

[@nadiarolwal]

This is an amazing analogy. Well said Sir. I am halfway through your book atm. Absolutely loving it. It's teaching me things I had no idea about. 10/10

[@brettthompson9082]

Wow, Orion. This said exactly where I'm at with women. Through learning to value myself first, they are set in proper perspective. Just a cherry. Thanks!

[@mcfistro9372]

Dr. Orion Taraban's approach in the podcast reflects intellectualization, a defense mechanism where he uses logic and reasoning to avoid dealing with deeper emotions. By framing relationships in terms of economic value and utility, he evades the emotional complexities of human connections, such as vulnerability, intimacy, and mutual dependence. This detachment and analytical perspective serve as a way to maintain control and protect himself (and others) from emotional discomfort, but it may result in a shallow experience of relationships, where true emotional needs are not fully addressed.

[@klaaspekala6804]

OR: it could be used to gain distance from emotional entanglement and thus see things clearer, freeing yourself of illusions and then diving back into the emotional jungle with a much clearer sight on what´s going on. Look, i see where you are coming from. This whole "economic model of relationships" is just that - a model. A model is a simplification used to highlight the mechanisms of an otherwise hard to understand topic. It allows you to understand the topic and make predictions about the outcome of situations. But a model almost always falls short of the "whole thing", especially rather esoteric aspects like subjective emotions. Subjective emotions are an important part of experience, but they do tend to get into the way of understanding. Hence, subtracting them temporarily to see the mechanics that are actually going on (and what your options are to influence the situation) is a prudent thing to do. To wrap this up: i don´t always agree whith what Dr. Taraban is saying (especially as i come from a european culture, things are not quite as messed up here - at least in my personal immediate surroundings - as they are in the Bay Area of the US, it seems), but most of the time these short talks do provide interesting insights into fundamental mechanics of relationships, be they romantic, professional or other. And these insights are only possible BY simplification and emotional distancing, imo.

[@mcfistro9372]

​@@klaaspekala6804 I agree with most of what he says. The problem is that it's incomplete: you can't regard relationships as purely cold, value-driven interactions while ignoring the emotional component and then expect to feel fulfilled. He's just like Hitch: helping others be 'successful' in relationships at the expense of true intimacy and happiness.

[@chrisomalley1105]

Just like Adam - He had a one on one relationship with God, yet he was still lonely!

[@lukolumo]

Dear comment section, I want to share some thoughts about family and children, especially in light of this video. I'm a big fan of this channel and I'm wholeheartedly on board with how it usually approaches its topic, mating and dating, with a focus on the early stages of romantic relationships where the connection between both parties is established/negotiated. The idea of viewing women as the 'cherry on top' can give men some leverage in those early interactions, but when it comes to the 'mating' part-specifically having kids-that perspective doesn’t hold up quite as well, given the socio-economic climate of our time. Let me elaborate. If you're serious about building a family, the 'cherry on top' idea actually contradicts something else Orion wisely touches on: "founders get equity." That means when you’re building something as significant as a family, both parties have to be equal contributors. You can't treat a woman as a mere accessory to your life and expect to create a stable family dynamic. I understand why the advice to get established first is popular-it makes sense to want to be in a strong position, both financially and personally, before settling down. But let’s face it: most of us aren't starting life with a silver spoon. If you didn’t have a decent hinterland or started laying down foundations early on, you might find yourself nearing 40 before you feel "ready" to have kids. I'm at an age where I know many who find themselves in that predicament. And honestly, for many people, that perfect moment of stability may never arrive, especially with today’s economic and social challenges. So, if you want more than just someone to fuck after they've done your dry-cleaning, then you have to rethink that 'cherry' mentality. It’s about turning a woman from someone who’s just an accessory to your success into a true partner in life. Family is not just a luxury item for when everything else is sorted-it’s a shared journey, a deeper and more significant commitment that requires equality and teamwork from the start. Being the "big man" who takes a girl along for the ride is a nice fantasy that some guys get to live out. But for the majority of us struggling midwits who'll never own property, stocks or even save for retirement, truly, our best option might be to go medeaval farmer mode and commit to a partner with real vulnerability and intent, building a life together from the ground up, rather than waiting for the perfect moment that may never come. Something to think about, Lukas

[@chipsteve]

Medieval farmer mode isn't an option though. Women aren't even "true partner potential" today, Orion makes that point here. The thing is, there are millions of pretty decent, hard working men in their 20s who literally can't find a "founder" to build equity with. These millions of men, if they can be rational & strip the emotions out of WHY they couldn't find a "founder" to "build with" in their 20s - will observe that women do not love men or even really care about men in any way that exceeds virtue signaling. That's the crimson pill, unfortunately.

[@sandwicheguy]

I was watching clip on KZbin about Cameltoe Harris and was struck by what she said and you wrote, they are much of a sameness, real word salads. I say this with kindness, not meaness, but you close your opinion with "Something to think about...." Really? What would that be? My opinion is let Orion do the pontificating, you make a SHORT comment, so us lesser mortals can keep up. Cheers.

[@zombiemachinery4868]

Life gave me 2 things, it gave me the looks of a good looking rich kid, but it also gave me and my parents zero money, so I had to learn this the hard way. Having a woman for me has been like getting a luxury car that I can't keep or maintain smoothly. So yes, Mr. Taraban is right. Women are luxury goods. When you acquire them without having the means to keep them, they become extremely noisy and naggy like broken sports cars. And this is the cherry on top: if you really have the money to be able to supposedly keep you wife or your girlfriend, they're still going to escape once in a while to have sex with me.

[@Ninjahbutter]

this is brilliant. It is also very accurate from my experience. This is good for young men to hear.

[@bjornlinsin4570]

Man... your channel is gold! Thank you for the wisdom!

[@Sajidov3]

I usually love Orion's videos, but this one was a huge miss. Not talking about kids when discussing the benefits of male-female relationships is as glaring a philosophical hole as the feminist women have in their worldview. Thinking about a relationship with woman in terms of dinners, vacations, dry-cleaning, etc. is pretty juvenile and non-masculine. It's how a young 20-something influencer might view picking a man. This is one of the reasons why DINKs are among the most odious demographic, because they've reduced the family and marriage to maximizing selfishness and hedonism. And candidly, as a man, it really baffles me why any man who doesn't want kids would EVER get married, and I'm someone who is very pro marriage and pro family. Forming a bond with a woman is really for the purpose of raising a family, and in that context it's not a luxury good but rather a partnership with a shared and common goal and lifestyle for something more than recreational things like dinners and vacations. And when I get home at the end of the day and my 1.5 year old daughter excitedly runs to me and jumps into my arms and gives me a huge hug for what seems like forever, with my wife smiling while she looks on, I can tell you that that's neither the cherry nor the sundae, but rather the entire restaurant.

[@flazjsg]

He is talking mainly about modern women.

[@infinitysplitda456]

@Sajidov3 exactly. Really well said. Orion made a huge presupposition and category error here. He obviously cannot reduce all women for all relationships down to just being a cherry on top. Which is depressing because more people are doing the same, just assuming they won't have kids

[@ReigningFlame]

I've seen him on the Whatever podcast, and he mentioned that his family had many divorces, so that may be a factor. He also mentioned that all the things people do in a marriage can be done outside of state bonded union. I think the 3rd factor may be that he's older, possibly single, and has notoriety and money. When you're like that and may not want children, this seems to be the logical conclusion. Definitely not the best for society as a whole, but for those very successful or those that can afford it (financially or emotionally), this may be the case for them. In a world where people don't need one another for daily survival, we have to try so much harder to make ourselves and the other person more valuable while dealing with the stresses of life. Very possible and better together, but most men today weren't raised to tough it out with equal reciprocity

[@lawrenceholden5716]

I've never wanted kids and the only time I considered a woman as possibly being a long term partner was when she told me that she didn't either. People are different, I know happy married couples without kids, who have their own interests. I sometimes think that critical comments come from those who look over the fence and see people not following the path that they themselves have chosen, wonder what it might have been like and reassure themselves by criticising the other's choice. It's hard enough in this world to find love, peace and happiness, each to their own and well done to them.

[@Sajidov3]

@@lawrenceholden5716 But what you are criticizing is exactly what Orion did in this video -- he completely ignored the primary reason for male-female romantic relationships, which is family formation. In fact, it's FAR more egregious to ignore kids / families as a benefit of male female relationships, both for individual relationships as well as society, then it would be to treat it as a universal benefit.

[@sumitchaturvedi7425]

Modern women aren't like a cherry on a sundae, they are more like sauerkraut.

[@flazjsg]

or anchovies!

[@globalnomad1221]

not luxury, deluded narcissistic and a depreciating asset yet held on a gynocentric pedestal that enslaves many - go figure

[@MegaAvalonn]

Like all luxury goods, they easily and quickly break down, and need to be replaced by yet another expensive newer model.

[@grantwithers]

closer to the truth. and remember the good doctor doesn't date american women.

[@TeodorIacob-u3l]

This man is a genius, opens my eyes to reality episode after episode. Keep up the great work Doctor!

[@tvicky-developer]

i love you seriously, you opened my eyes and made me even more happy to begin myself, thank you so much.😄

[@leebailey1220]

This is my new favortie orion video! Dam im buying the book

[@marcuschauvin7039]

I did, it is a good read. Wish this advice was around 25 yeara ago!

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

A woman should complement your life, not BE your life. If you can afford the cost to have her and still have plenty left over, there’s no problem being with her.

[@JustMe-999a]

The right woman could even teach you the difference between complement and compliment

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

@@JustMe-999a autocorrect…

[@danhorton1877]

@@JustMe-999a troll.

[@edheldude]

My ex spent a year undermining me and destroyed my relationships and my business. Two years later she sent me 11-page apology letter. I spent 18 months in half-psychosis trying to regain my sanity and health. Too expensive.

[@cliffthecoolcat]

The cheapest girlfriend I ever had costed $1000 a month to entertain her along with missed operrunity working Saturdays.

[@grantwithers]

hard facts. chad gets her free or for her to pay tho , so ya know.

[@cliffthecoolcat]

@@grantwithers I can't imagine she would ever pay for a man..I don't think I've actually ever dated a woman who would financially support a man. LoL

[@AA86420]

Even Chad will be alone after a while. The thing is, if you're attractive to women they will have sex with you but they leave you if you don't invest. So, even that becomes transactional in the end.​@@grantwithers

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

escorts are not girlfriends

[@tedtheologan]

Dude I literally was saying the same thing to my ex. She thought I was nuts. Thanks for the video man. Love your work.

[@masterTigress96]

Veeerrrry interesting episode as always. A nice and covert way to basically convey the message that (western) women are simply not worth it for young men, as they cannot afford them given the inflation in asking price, and only (older) men that are well off have the luxury of choosing to get them (or not). A positive element to this message is that men have to learn to become self sufficient and become their own source of happiness and fulfillment in life, which is always a good message (and true). You already covered in another episode how all of "this" can end, but it is still interesting to see just how strong the desire is to be right, versus being effective (talking about women here). As you pointed out in the past; pride makes for lonely company.

[@Jan-qv8ku]

Love is priceless, and Not all women are pricey and high maintenance. There Are down to earth women, without the drama.

[@staubsauger2305]

"without the drama". No. Women thrive on drama and create it where it does not exist. This is ok, and is their nature, so we ought not deceive anyone most of all ourselves about this.

[@Jan-qv8ku]

@@staubsauger2305 Then I’m an unusual, peace loving woman. I don’t gossip. I don’t compare. I’m not jealous or catty. I personally know many women who are down to earth and peaceful. Women are not interchangeable just as men are not interchangeable. Not all women are the same. Period. The only drama I want to see is on tv, Not in my home or my friend groups.

[@staubsauger2305]

@@Jan-qv8ku Excellent. Around 2.7% of woman are like you, according to The book of Numbers. You are rare

[@RadicalLinguisticDescriptivism]

@Jan-qv8ku if what you say is true, please consider that you represent a ever shrinking minority and no longer represent the norm. While your experience is valid, you are the exception not the rule.

[@DurkaDur-bx4ks]

How many per thousand? ~ 6.5 on average? Cuz that's the marriage rate 😅