How to Find Your Calling as an INFJ: 5 Questions To Ask

[@kamilkarnale3585]

We loose motivation very fast! A slight failure make us depressive! So annoying!

[@madeleinearcher999]

Kamil Karnale omg ikr?! I suffer from extreme procrastination as well 😤

[@huezreaganwong9615]

Omg so true that I hate myself for that 😢

[@jyothilakshmi369]

Exactly

[@Cipher15500]

True

[@mitaandtrishabhowmik1894]

Thank God I am not alone. Because of this I thought that something was wrong with me.

[@biskite4552]

the use of "we" gives an infj like myself comfort that someone understands. :>

[@LoganBirdVibez]

:> i luv it

[@anythingwilldo_833]

I guess us, INFJ, love to use 'we' when presenting something, because the credit for what we said is not for us alone. Like when I was presenting my team's work when I was in college, I almost never use the word "I" because we work on it together. As well as, while mentioning INFJ, I too mostly use 'we' as the title is not for me alone to own.

[@hackidreemurr]

Nawww. 😍💝

[@nubianqueen8500]

Ive been saying this from day 1 at 8years old

[@nubianqueen8500]

Its my travling mind that fights me from BEING it took a personality quiz with Google askimg her why do i feel crazy N mind always on over driveing me

[@asdfghjkl8236]

I’ve always said “I just want to be happy” whenever someone asks what I want for my future.... I think what I truly want is to feel safe enough to be myself. Because that, is true happiness

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Yes.❤

[@JUBYY_]

❤

[@GMacII]

Scary accurate

[@-jamie-9896]

"failure to launch syndrom" - extremely true.

[@PearlPaisley]

A new title for procrastination. I love it!

[@cinniemini]

oh yes, i felt that :'D

[@deannabreedlove8123]

Same

[@khaledsalah990]

I don’t think its actually failure to launch really. I think it is more so, continuing in life until you reach that point you are able to launch. We need to understand a point will come where we can launch and begin to help others, but it happens when life decides, not when we decide. We only continue to follow our path until we launch. At that point there is happiness for us as well as everyone we interact with. It’s such a beautiful feeling.

[@marceladiaz8599]

Situational depression, that's exactly what happens when I am in a place or job that doesn't fit me and nobody understands why, I feel like I am drowning yet from the outside people think everything is fine and question my attitude. Understanding the situational depression concept is a great motivator to get off the sick merry-go-round I was stuck in. Thanks!!!!

[@crunchycar]

The 5 questions: 1. What is your unfair advantage? 2. What did you love to do when you were young? 3. How can you help people / help the world? 4. Is there any information you have right now you wish you had when you were young? 5. What's a complex topic that you could make simple? Bonus: how do you eventually become irreplaceable?

[@Anonymous-km5pj]

people hav always said i hav a big heart, am sensitive/empath, hav a good spirit. Loved to play in nature when young, make plant dyes, miniature homesteads from moss/twigs/rocks, etc. Idk more than that. Thanks for the vid

[@BeholdIamaNewCreation]

You are a gentleperson and a scholar.

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

It is difficult to eat speak and smile and stay healthy if There is no Dentist too reach !Not on Belgium 🇧🇪 not in 🇫🇷 ant suggestion? 😊 10:17

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

ASK GOD ! 11:23

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

5 HEALT CARE ! 15:18

[@michellewei7349]

EXACTLY... "situational depression". That's me living in a small, gossipy town... working a job for eight years that I hated every day... but there were no other jobs in town. I walked out that back door and moved away from that town. I'm ok now.. kinda... 500 miles and a border away from there!

[@marycain5668]

Congratulations! One step at a time. I'm in a boring small town. I have 3 78 year old women friends which is ridiculous. I'm 62. They are so out of my interests. There are no men! Of interest. 1 new guy moved in but there's no spark.

[@cazbee6126]

Great advice - get your stuff out there! Is anyone else TOO - polite, self-deprecating, modest, awkward with compliments, unchallenging of other's BS, etc? Practice NOT being these things. Develop and share your voice. You know the world needs you 💚

[@ShawnDavid91]

YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS! Lol

[@cynnncity8819]

🥺

[@junegerber4028]

Yes the world needs us - they don't know it but they do! :)

[@laks1t148]

Yesss :(

[@gypsysundrop]

You know me so well!!

[@aaronpark2396]

I’m 17 and ready to conquer the world in the name of my INFJ gang

[@cecilywechter3471]

You are the first mind coach to make these deep dives so accurately, into the experience of an INFJ. Thank you for thinking so clearly and sharing what you have learned in your life.

[@Andrewtc55]

Check out Frank James!

[@FailFries]

Just wanted to add my two cents.Frank James is great when I'm in a quirky goofy mood. He makes me laugh. And these videos are great for being in a more quiet, serious, and reflective mood. Both are great in their own ways!

[@thehilaryglow]

I've always said that the dream job would be doing the things we loved the most when we were kids. Because as kids we didn't think about getting rich of even just paying mortgage/debt or being able to afford something. We simply followed our heart.

[@cajunlady4893]

I wanted to be a florist. I love flowers and giving them to make them happy. In Louisiana you need to pass to exam to purchase a License to become a florist. I had no idea how much money they made. It didn't matter. Because it's Love that makes me happy and fulfilled

[@Christine-cf2bz]

As an infj.... my mind does tick different and I am now ok with not being the norm. I now celebrate and protect my identity. I have decided that to me, being INFJ is the biggest blessing God gave me... coz He made me a genuinely GOOD person that loves & cares for humanity in the midst of a dark, selfish, narc-filled, miserable world. I carry loads of true love, deep empathy, warm light, calm and peace wherever I go...and I LOVE it. I love me. ❤❤❤❤ Fellow INFJ's you are the rain in this dry & thirsty world. We ARE a blessing.

[@0leana]

This couldn’t be more spot on. Freedom is absolutely the key. I finally discovered my “thing” in my late 20s (watercolor painting) and created an entire business around it. Thanks for using your gift to make us feel seen and understand ourselves even better, Clay! It’s helpful and comforting.

[@Abi-or6hn]

Omgggg I just bought a numbers painting kit because I loveeed painting as a kid, but I stopped it and now I wanted to pick it up again. This is sooo affirming. I feel so seen 🥺

[@AlgarielMaldonado]

I dont aim for happiness, the emotion is too fleeting and not a good barometer for success. Aim for fulfillment and a purposeful life. As an infj, i rather die doing something of purpose that contributes to the greater good, then live without purpose.

[@Neimykanani]

"Usually really good at something like art." Me watching this video as I'm drawing on my tablet 😆

[@hackidreemurr]

Relatable. 😂😂

[@SilverSeaOT7]

Me watching while I watercolor. 😂

[@warriorsofthehighest6632]

Im painting a portrait......hmmm a pattern lol

[@kristin13]

Haha, same here, painting with aquarelle :D

[@IamHeliumm]

Heyyy i like ur art on instagram ❤️

[@nurlanhartley860]

I am 17 years old. Is it wierd I love watching these videos? I feel like i differ from the age group

[@toriisreal2167]

I'm 17 too. I totally feel you there

[@BirkeClara]

It's not weird, it's impressive you are already thinking about these things now.

[@sabrinacaflisch3769]

Same here, soon 18 :) I always feel like I'm an alien who's very good at pretending to be like everyone else. Great at adjusting. But on the inside still an alien.

[@thissunchild]

I'm 54 and I feel the same way, so nothing weird there...

[@Omega70]

felt the same at 17 10 years later still feel the same in my age group now lol

[@imchef17]

I'm a mental health and addictions support worker. Man do I love my job!!!

[@etherealdaisy4540]

I’m definitely lost in life. I had a lot of bad circumstances that led me to be this way. But I do have unfair advantages like being going at speaking English despite being a first generation immigrant, and I always get complemented on my face. I don’t enjoy cleaning but I’m quite good at it because I was forced to do chores in my adolescence and teenage-hood. I wish I could go back 20 years and tell me younger self that my mother is a narcissist and that there’s nothing I can do to help her.

[@carol5606]

Adrienne Sullivan Hang in there. Not easy to find the path forward but it is there. And it sounds like you’ve overcome a lot already. Thanks for sharing.

[@ruthlessfairy]

Hey, I feel you. My dad has gone trough the same rough path with a narcissist mom who didn't pursue his talents and great abilities in art. You seem like a strong individual, and I wish you the very best.

[@AshlyRa]

Omgg I got to know that my mom is covert narc when my alcoholic father left us. It was shocking and eye opener for me. But yet I am still struggling to know myself and the best career for me. Yes I always think of this that if I could go in the past and tell me younger self the truth about narcs.

[@rockinmamma3510]

I grew up with a narc mother also so I feel ya. Took me 40+ years to realize that. It really took a toll on my life.

[@Bhlisse]

Narc Mother and drunk dad... I feel you....

[@smilealways4978]

1. My Unfair advantage ? ° I remember my friends say im good at decoration ideas. (Event organiser) °Good at understanding ppl and giving them advice.( Councelling) 2. What I love to do? ° I love traveling and I love talking about the place and describe the feeling the scene. ° I always loved coffee and I wanted to become a barista. ° I love cooking ° Obviously photography ° Gardening ° Making new friends I love talking to different mindset of ppl their deepist thoughts. 3. How can I help ppl? ° That's at top for infjs helping others. ° I believe that now days ppl want to be heard ppl want to loved and recognised. So I would love to be that kind of a person who can embrace ppl in need. 4. Any information I have now I wish I had when I was young? ° YES! KZbin I wish had these kinda vids that could tell me I'm not alone and I'm normal. I really feel Jealous for this generation kids growing youths that they have so so so many information filled in internet and so many free skills to learn. I really wish I had this back than so I could figure out what I actually wanted to do with my life. ° The skill of awareness I would like to give this to my younger self. ° And yes obviously boundaries I really wish I knew that word back then so I could get less hurt. 5. One of the complicated work I can make it easy? ° I remember teaching my fellow frnd science and mathematics formula like he couldn't remember which formula applies where, For example- He love cars so I named the formulas according to each car and the value the car holds in his mind.

[@OmarAhmed-q1c3s]

Wow literally was 18 when i started watching your videos and i just turned 19 last month. But wow i think you'd be happy to know that your videos are really helping this naïve boy in shaping his upcoming 20s. Thanks so much✨ Even if you'd probably not even see this comment as it's been years since you posted it😂😊

[@cascades3898]

also infjs are so adventurous that they like to experience what other people feel about almost everything..good are bad they just want to experience it.. lol talking about myself..

[@sunnysharonlund6230]

Omg! Im always saying that. I sometimes make people uncomfortable by asking unexpected questions but im totally trying to get their experience.

[@huezreaganwong9615]

As an INFJ, only 2-3 minutes into this video, I already find it sooooo relatable. This is exactly me and what I'm going through. I totally understand everything that you are talking about. I always feel the need to find a goal or purpose in my life. However, as an INFJ, I have too many things going on in my mind but I did not do any of it so I always end up with this feeling of 'I'm trapped' and I don't know what to do. 😢 Edit: After watching your video, I feel so much better to know that I am not alone. I'm so glad that there are other INFJs who understand us. Thanks so much for the video! Will try to start thinking about that 5 questions seriously.

[@risinglightlove3338]

I love listening to your calm voice and gentle demeanor. It’s soothing. 💕🌿✨🍃

[@hectorpikipiki]

Yep

[@emerald.city.photographyle3588]

I work best alone when success or failure falls on my shoulders. Working for someone was always difficult, if someone showed any lack of ethics or fell into the profit trap solely I would be turned off immediately. I found my happy place as a real estate and vacation rental photographer. I communicate in emails and texts mostly so light contact there and then I go into empty houses and do my job and leave. When I was younger I worked in customer service management jobs and healthcare. I couldn't imagine myself there now and would be very unhappy. As a side job, I also babysit for single moms and I am able to be home with my young daughter while making a little money helping others in that way. During winter when my photography job is less abundant, I clean the house for a large vaca rental where again the house is empty and I can do my thing in peace. Sometimes on the days, I stay in the house day after day, I can get less productive but it works. I am good at everything I do, in every job position I gained responsibility and authority quickly. I know now in my 40s that no matter what happens in life I can adapt and survive based on my adaptability and quick learning.

[@TampaCatGirl]

The situational depression thing resonates 100%. In fact, I kept telling doctors this exact phrase and they still wanted me to take meds. Like you, when I am on my right path, it all goes away. Thank you for this video, I need to do what I love. Freedom!

[@tessabrowning]

I always end your videos feeling like I just listened to an encouraging pep talk with a counselor who understands me (INFJ) on the most accurate level lol thank you!

[@sandrazawada5316]

I kept thinking my childhood was holding me back and that I was so frozen that I could not function in my business like I wanted. This helps me a lot to get past myself and do what I am good at. Thanks!

[@Dee-iu2co]

I am an INFJ and 66 years old and retired and still never knew what I should do in life! I worked for banks in Accounts Receivables because I love managing money, as an Office Manager and Legal Secretary for a Law Firm because of my love for law based on integrity and the truth, Office Manager for a Vet Office due to my love of animals, and Office Manager for a Nursery School based on my love of children.

[@barefootmustang777]

Wow,just what I needed now.I am 46,still don't know my calling.INFJ's are so weird and wonderful.I actually love and appreciate myself more! Thank you Clay!

[@Workingclassdad]

I write individual letters to my children and wife every month and sit down with each one to review them. This has been consistent for years. We talk about only them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I also wrote a book about it. Working Class Dad. Not promoting the book, but just confirmation on being an INFJ. The world makes sense now. ☺️

[@matter3117]

That feeling that this guy is the older you sent to direct you from the past

[@JosieGoyangi]

This was relatable on a level I cannot articulate; thank you for putting words to the nuance in my head! Even commenting is hard for me because of our INFJ perfectionism, but I'm being brave today!

[@huezreaganwong9615]

Me too! I'm being brave today and typed a long comment haha

[@cajunlady4893]

Bravery Be Brave You got this

[@cajunlady4893]

@@huezreaganwong9615 How much stress Let me count the ways

[@CrankieAntie]

I have forever thought that there's got to be someone who would look at me and think that I am the one person they need for whatever the project or need is... but the next thought, invariably, is that I rarely accomplish anything that I envision, anything worthwhile.

[@xdulceguerax]

Happiness is freedom. I love that! I haven't given up my love of horses to this day! 29 years strong...

[@kateweber8365]

Very insightful! It is all about Freedom .

[@linros187]

I share the same wish- That I had known about narcissism or strong narcissistic traits when I was younger, and was able to recognize it in people. Also why I attracted these personality types. Better late than never!

[@diywithmaya5604]

Thank you, Clay! I just found out yesterday that I am an INFJ. This is like all my puzzles came together and made a complete picture. I am drawing/painting all my life, but always thought it is "ok", nothing special...anyone can do it)). I was traveling through Canada from Winnipeg to Vancouver and stayed for two weeks in Kelowna. I met one elderly lady from St. Pius church, she looked at my art on Instagram and ordered a portrait of her daughter's dog...another one ordered a print of my art, another bought a Feng Shui art from me, BUT this didn't convince me that I do something special...it was always just another painting. I even felt surprised that people like it, want to have it, say something like "you are such a talented artist"...I always thought they say so because of being my friends or being polite Canadians)). Now by listening to this video I realized that it is something more valuable than I thought before. Probably I will make something commercial with my art and see how it will work out). You motivated me because you speak as an advanced business version of myself...it is so cool!

[@mdudziak]

The most useful and reasonable video about finding a calling for INFJ that I found on KZbin. I got stuck in boring, repetitive work for several years. Now I'm trying to figure out how to start doing what I've always wanted to do, but I've considered it as a hobby, not a job. And these five questions helped me to confirm that I should go in this direction, but I should also consider other possibilities of using my skills. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

[@aliciai3295]

This was extremely helpful from start to finish. There were a zillion INFJ takeaways! Interestingly, the lifelong photography interest you mentioned shows in the high-quality videos you're creating while breaking out of your perfectionism. What an illustration of many of the points you were making here!

[@Ahomesteadersdream]

As an INFJ who can completely envision a future of my design, and completely build that future in my mind... in many ways it’s already built, and I know I could build it and that reality is enough, so I don’t do it. BUT, when something is so powerful within me that I cannot not do it; those projects are truly mind blowing!

[@elmehdisaniss2731]

What type of design you make?

[@Ahomesteadersdream]

ElMehdi Saniss I’m a horticulturist and business owner. Landscape design and also business ideas in general...

[@christinemccoy4471]

@@Ahomesteadersdream I understand your words. I found my niche in propagation and then growing. I bloomed. As I fall asleep, I design my own land, different every night! I don't do it though. I wanted to feed the world, my idealism, ended up in fruits nuts and berry growing job. I have an orchard. I live to design My father said you are a painter, you paint with plants!

[@Ahomesteadersdream]

Christine McCoy beautiful! I majored in production horticulture at Olds college, studied greenhouse and nursery production, this year due to the pandemic I’ve lost a lot of landscape work and I am going to be starting a small market garden.... are you Canadian?

[@rhondaposton4253]

I am listening to you speak about narcissists a moment ago and Yes I have found this to be sadly true for me twice. I have dumbed myself down in my life and that has been Super hard to even admit but I know who I am now and refuse to get stuck anymore.

[@aislingobrien5485]

This is so funny, I am INFJ through and through - working as a speech & language therapist with children with complex needs (helping) while following my passion and special skill with a jewellery making business on the side.. best of both worlds! Love your insights! 😊💕

[@ivanshiek]

Agreed. When I was in school, I didn't like the structure of learning and often zoned out or doodled which resulted in average grades. But when I dropped out in my junior year of high school, I felt better and I was able to graduate through homeschooling (4 years later...). Then I went to community college and felt free because I got to choose my courses and could do afternoon classes. It was really liberating. But because both of my elective professors disliked me, they discussed between themselves and decided to fail me... In Fictional Writing and Ceramics... Who fails at those classes?! Especially an INFJ... Because I failed two classes, my government financial aid was cut off as per the agreement. I could no longer afford the tuition and had to drop out of college... Now I'm working a 9-to-5 job to make a living...

[@doctorwafa]

1 - the unfair advantage (something you do easly naturally while ppl find it difficult) 2-what do you always like to do 3- what are the things that you know now you wish that you could teach it for your younger self 4-what are the complicated things that you could make it simple easly 5-how could you be irreplaceable (what is the knowledge that you specifically have)

[@dragonflydreamer13]

Your voice and the way you speak is so calming that instead of scrolling on my phone while a video plays, I actually focused only on your video.

[@ClaudiaVaduvescu]

Even after you build your confidence and start isolating the exposure to a draining toxic environment, you're still left with an underlying question regarding your higher purpose. That one never goes away; being disappointed in people and situations and the choices they make... as much as I can understand the context for me, it only aggravates the distance that I feel between myself and others. Being of service loses its meaning as well; I dunno. The only thing I seem to be looking forward it's being at peace with myself tbh whatever that might be

[@joelyn2877]

Business videos please! I hope you know one of your natural gifts is speaking in a very clear and impactful way. Much love

[@MuzikAficionado]

Contradiction alert! Our "Feeling" elevates and deflates those chemicals and balancing them makes us feel less depressed and more empowered to achieve our ideas...by taking the initiative of setting the goals...and getting up to do it! Without those chemicals in balance we can't get up to do what we know we need to do!

[@ClayArnall]

Like you mean neurotransmitters like serotonin and domaine? I agree you need proper levels of those to function.

[@shariturner2747]

I love your videos! Always great food for thought. Not to mention, it's always comforting to be reminded I'm not the only one who thinks the way I do...lol. #infj struggles...lol

[@latergator9622]

Well let me say one thing, these talking videos are actually amazing for me to think some of my own things out. These videos may actually have more “worth” to others than yourself. So, thank you for what you’re doing. Please continue.

[@Katerina11788]

Thanks Clay. This was super helpful. Please do more business videos. There is a lot of business advice on the Internet, but I guess INFJs do business a little differently. Would love to hear your insights.

[@Ahomesteadersdream]

I agree with this... more business vids Clay!

[@tsvetellina]

👍agree

[@grantog123]

Agree

[@rondacorle7920]

You are so spot on with your comments and questions to ask yourself to become more self aware. I was having a difficult time finding a job after being laid off twice in my 50s. Difficult transition after a failed marriage, not seeing a way forward. And the phrase that resonated with me was from a Harry Potter movie, of all places: Play to your strengths. I have many things I can do naturally well but I don't value because they won't bring in much money. But doing them makes me happy. Creating detailed drawings and maps. Being able to turn things around in my head and always knowing where I'm going and never getting lost. Having memories going back to when I was 5 months old. Sewing, baking, etc. It is a difficult task of becoming self aware. Value yourself and your skills. That's what I would tell my younger self. Every day. Talk yourself up instead of down. Take more chances. You can muddle through because we INFJs seem to be able to mostly land on our feet. We are very good at thinking outside the box and coming up with unique solutions that no one else has thought about. I always list that as a strength on my resume, but it's something that isn't valued until a team at work runs into a problem and they need a solution in the next 3 minutes. Under pressure, I can usually come up with 2 or 5 ways to get out of the situation with grace and dignity. Just rambling thoughts.

[@nicole.locker]

This really hit me. Ever since I was a kid I drew to now im asked to do wedding portraits. I also placed state with violin in the Spokane Youth Symphony. Just recently I organized and compiled all the things I had to do into notes and made it a checklist for work and someone had asked "how'd you do that?" All of this, and I always had figured that it was easy- that I'm not that good to the point I was suffocating and wondering what I am good at. Note to everyone. Believe in yourself and take advantage of the gifts you have, the world needs it. Its a blessing i'm 21 and have stumbled across this. (my art is at locker_arts if anyone cares haha)

[@maximus.cornelius.aurelius]

This is an extremely useful framework to help someone (me) who is searching next steps to take on life. As INFJs we can see ourselves doing 5 different things yet don’t believe that we are necessarily capable. This is a wonderful way to take action when you feel stuck. I have run a business myself and love to see an INFJ being successful at theirs! Thanks so much for the value! ❤

[@LLawlietXD]

I struggle so much with confidence... I feel like I get the theory and what I should do... But when it comes to practicing what I preach... Oh boy. Inspiring video. I should reflect on what my strengths that I took for granted and thought 'too normal' - time for me to practice more drawing and post them on my Instagram more!

[@boogieshoes5343]

same same

[@TheBabbage78]

I recently took the personality type test on 16personalities.com and was really blown away by just how well the INFJ personality broke down the kind of person that I am. It sent me on this google/youtube rabbit hole of looking for more information about it and out of everything that I have watched this felt the most genuine and informed. I can really tell that you are an INFJ, real recognize real, right? Anyways, I loved this video and your take on the INFJ personality and I really identified with a lot of what you were saying. Just wanted to let you know that you just earned a new sub and I'll be checking out a lot of your older stuff too.

[@patriciapop2793]

Thanks! I always think what I know is “too easy”. Then I heard these older women lighting up like it was actually helpful and I was shocked!

[@kirkburpee]

ive stumbled upon you and yout important videos recently and it has me thinking about my situation, career. As an IMFJ type I am super creative and love having goals. I'm an e tech in oil fields fixing other peoples electronic computer problems so I jave the money to chade my own desires. I wrote books and recently signed a conteact to publish. I never paid any attention in school and am self taught and love the lifes journey. Your videos have pit in words and helped me define many of my short comings and why I am so alobe aroubd others, I never fit in but am a chameleon. Keep up your videos we need your explanations thanks oh I write fiction thriller stuff used to be a film maker but got too burned out anf used up.

[@mendingmandy869]

Thank you SO much!! I have been going to therapy because I do this! I don't think I'm special and feel worthless because i dismiss myself. My husband keeps telling me how talented I am at cooking and baking. Friends started telling me but I was just thinking, "anyone can do this. It doesn't matter." This Thanksgiving my mother-in-law came and was telling me my Thanksgiving meal and pies were amazing. I really have been disregarding myself not realizing i have talent! I teared up during this video. Thank you.

[@bmcgoo]

I've often thought that happiness is found in the pursuit of goals....the pursuit of a better version of myself. Unhappiness is from perceptions that there are barriers to your pursuit of a better self.

[@davidblandii6539]

35 years and just found my purpose as a writer. Your videos helped with that a lot. It's been a struggle. I wish I'd known about the MBTI and INFJ personality a lot earlier. I literally just discovered this about two weeks ago. I feel foolish

[@FreddyYang-wz6st]

so stunned to know you are also stuck with Narcissist ever before, INFJ is truly prone to be trapped by Narcissism, what a bad density.

[@beeys]

anyone else type up long youtube comments from time to time just to delete it all in the end cuz you feel like it doesnt matter?

[@PaulaL-8888]

All the time 😂😂😂😂 but when I delete them it actually makes me feel better. Like I’ve gotten it off my chest without having the continue engaging in an argument or conversation with the other person . I thought I was just me 😂🤪

[@relaxcalmnaturepeace]

@@PaulaL-8888😂True INFJs 😅😂❤

[@ivanshiek]

No, if I take that much time to write it, I will post it. On a PC you can edit it later, not on a phone. It frustrates me more when I take 20min to type a good idea, but then someone calls my phone that I'm typing on, and it closes the app and erases all of it...

[@sleepyllama9776]

YES "situational depression" if I'm in a job I don't like I feel trapped and like I'm not making the most of life. If there's a leader who I don't like who tells me what to do and it doesn't make sense to me or seems like the bad choice I find I want to rebel against it. I definitely have resisted my true self for the first 19 yrs of my life but since I've been like f it I should be bolder to do what is right for me things have been figuring out better

[@Jeff_The_Weatherman]

Thank you, Clay! This INFJ has viewed many of your other INFJ subject videos, but my first time commenting on one here. Your videos on INFJ subjects are the few on KZbin that I can share with my ISFJ mother - to clearly explain who I am as an INFJ. Couldn’t explain it better myself. 👍🏻🙏🏻 I left a mundane job in January to purse an online reselling business. I gave myself freedom with that, wished I did this 20 years ago. But back then I did not know much about my INFJ needs. I just kept feeling guilty for not excelling in careers that were (looking back) not set for my MBTI. Thanks, Jeff.

[@angelemily2201]

I'm an infj and I've been trying to write a manga... I want to draw it out and write all the dialogue and storyline... I've been working on the story for almost 3 years... But I haven't even drawn the first scene because I don't think my art is good enough for scenes yet... So that thing about "not even starting because it won't be perfect" REALLY hit home for me and made me very self conscious 😂 I think it's time to start drawing that first scene and just try not to give a sh¡t 😂😂

[@OmarAhmed-q1c3s]

I would like to read anything written by a fellow infj. Whats the name of the manga if you dont mind and what's the release date ❤

[@angelemily2201]

@OmarAhmed-q1c3s oooo! I did start to think I need more constructive criticism! Warning I was using some dark themes because the first half is horror. Also unfortunately I don't have a release date because it's been a big project I'm still trying to get right... I don't think there will be a release date anytime in the next few years. I'm still struggling with school 😅 but here's the plot! it's called Brain-Fog and it's about a 12 year old protagonist who suddenly woke up to his world around him being lifeless. What went from a normal life, living with his parents and older sister, suddenly turned into a living nightmare. The sky turned a desaturated brown, the trees forming weirdly, houses and rooms would randomly be in different places that they weren't before, and everyone looked like a shadowy figure with no face. He couldn't hear their voices but he somehow knew what they were trying to tell him every time. The freakiest part for the boy was that he knew something was seriously off but didn't know why or how to acknowledge it. All he knew was that his sister was murdered and nobody was addressing it. He'd search for her body everywhere to try and solve the murder. Yet he himself didn't understand why everything was happening the way it was... The closer he got to finding the truth, the further away he felt. Everything about his current life felt trippy. Eventually he met two shadow figures during an investigation. Usually the boy was terrified of these distorted figures because they are honestly terrifying to look at 😅, but something felt different about these two in particular. The more time he spoke to them, the more clear and visible they became. He'd eventually take them with him to help with his single minded investigations. Those two shadows developed a personality over time, and he could eventually hear their voices. It felt as if missing memories were slowly falling into place. The two shadows eventually became a deadpan rich boy and a sassy tomboy. Both of which seemed so familiar to the protagonist but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. His world overtime starts getting more and more clear, more people slowly started gaining faces and voices, until eventually, one early morning he was forced into a car with his parents to "visit his sisters grave". It was sudden and he didn't understand, this was the first time anyone finally acknowledged her "death"... During the drive they got into a car accident... Suddenly he jolted awake, laying in the hospital, dazed and confused. When he looks up, he saw his older sister sobbing beside his hospital bed. The truth finally revealed... The entire time he was having a coma dream. His sister never died, it was the parents who passed in the accident. In his coma dream, the reason his sister was "dead" was because in real life she was the only one to come out unscathed. After his recovery the story continues 2 years later in the real world. His auntie had taken both him and his sister in, and is taking care of them very well. The other half of this story gets more into slice of life. Trying to heal from trauma, making friends and all that. But this comment is already too long 😭

[@phoenixindigo5383]

I'm an INFJ Advocate. I've had trouble fulfilling my "purpose" in this life. I think I've finally understand and accept it. If the opportunity arises, I offer my help. Of course there are people who disapprove of my methods but who cares. It fulfills a need inside myself and it's healthy for me...

[@BirkeClara]

The resistance thing is spot on. To me though, I had to wait for the right timing to find my path, I guess sometimes you can't force it you just have to keep going until some day it all makes sense to you. It is difficult to predict life and I sure did not expect myself to be in a middle of a pandemic writing my thesis on PTSD and design this year. Hope everyone are safe and healthy!

[@agapelove1111]

I too, have a love for photography. I am a natural at taking nature photos, and I seem to naturally find the best angles. I also have a flair for nurturing. I have 5 children. One is a paraplegic, and two have Autism. People have always complimented me on my skills against all odds, that I show up for them so well. My oldest 3 children were taught empathy, that being smarter is better than surface beauty, that it matters how they treat others. They were honor students throughout school, and independent adults. My youngest daughter and son are my biggest challenge, as they have incredible intelligence, but can’t tell me what they want for dinner. Autism is quite the overwhelming challenge. I do my best to help them learn important things, like life skills. I am so busy, I sometimes get to the end of my day, and realize I forgot to take care of myself... Especially while dealing with the quarantine situation, and the kids don’t have ABA therapy.

[@brodaddy4953]

I find myself being over empathetic sometimes to people I just met or only met a few times. I’m a 6’4” male, and yeah I even find myself being over emotional a weird thing. But one talent I have is I can sing really well, but I don’t think I’m good enough to try for anything in a singing career. I also find myself in leadership positions often in most group settings. I don’t know if it has something to do with my size, or the fact that I genuinely try to listen to people. Idk, but your videos have pulled me out of this black hole I’ve been in since my father died. I’m wasting my life, I have many talents, but I’m to insecure to present them outwardly in a functional way. I felt lost and alone. I thought about seeing a therapist because I felt broken. I’m overcoming a drug problem and it’s hindering my ability to function.

[@Herkimerdiamond]

The only thing that makes my heart beat is horses. They make me want to live. I feel my heart and when I am with them I feel understood 😌 thank you so much for helping us 🙏 I wish I knew all this stuff when I was younger 😌

[@blindhiroki4831]

As a Cigna infj I'm so lost and confused on who I am and this guy built me a road map to my mind I live what you do brother God speed

[@JensGH]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge Clay. I have really needed some kind of mentor insight from a more mature infj and I appreciate you filling in that gap. Love.

[@serendipity8209]

Yes, there is much Value in what you have to say.

[@polsondemott16]

I definitely can relate the perfectionist. I've also found that when I finally get over my perfectionism and just put things out, I am unable to fully shirk off any criticisms, so honestly, I'm back in the perfectionist closet for a few years building back up my confidence. I've been trying to "give from my saucer" lately. It's hard to balance taking care of yourself and not feeling like a selfish a-hole and putting yourself out there and not taking things so personally and to heart. #wordvomit

[@manduwolf2607]

I just find out that Im an infj after taking a personality test. I could not believe so i took the test again and again and again, still the same result. Listening to you is like seeing my true self. Thanks

[@abcdefgghjk6161]

I am certain that everybody is good at something. I always find something in other people that is special and that i look up to. But somehow i don't see it in me or i don't take things for a "real" thing. That's something that i think is really worth working on yourself until you find out. Great Video!

[@CanwegetSubscriberswithn-cu2it]

Yup. External personal optimism, internal personal pessimism.

[@sarahofer4368]

I wish that I had known about the MBTI personality traits. The self-acceptance, self-love and self-awareness has enabled me to better love and accept others. If I had had the knowledge of my own behaviors (INFJ), I am confident I would have saved myself, and others, a lot of heartache.

[@wandaprubant2082]

As an INFJ myself, This video was like looking in a mirror, very helpful Thank You

[@staciehaneline9533]

I've done so many different things and there are so many more things that I want to do. I think my calling is to teach people how to think for themselves.

[@zulinhl]

this videos are always so relatable. totally true as an INFJ i'm so perfectionist that sometimes I dont feel that I can share something i made because maybe it isnt good enough or that maybe i need to expend hours in different classes to learn more and more before trying to do it. the idea its in my mind, i like it, i know that with time i could make such a good work, but i know that it isnt going to came out as i want the first time so i dont try it.

[@angeladeboer6922]

Turns out we live in the same province! 😉 While being an INFJ determines how we process information, I think it is the culmination of all our experiences (joyful and painful) that determines who we are as a person. You would not be able to teach your younger self these lessons if you hadn't gone through the experiences and grown from them. I have had some painful difficult circumstances, in the last few years especially, but they have challenged me to dig deep and figure out what my line in the sand is so to speak. What is important, what will I fight for and what is something that is time to let go. It's a great time of self reflection that otherwise wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't change that. Food for thought....

[@carol5606]

I was captivated by your title so I am giving half an hour to listen to what you are going to say. As an INFJ (female but still vital at 68), I can identify with all your Introductory material - the presentation of the problem we uniquely face with our particular cognitive stack as an INFJ which I believe makes it harder to find our individual purpose. You have come to the word resistance which you will describe based on the book, The War of Art, and I have stopped the video to make a comment before I am influenced by what you might say. I want to explain what I believe that resistance is. And its not likely your man will have come to my same conclusion. First let me create context; it is March 24, 2020 and we are in the midst of the Covid-19 outbreak. The world is in the throes of shutting down and moving into a global economy, a global world order, the so-called new world order so long anticipated as the stage for the final decision that each man must make as to whose side he will take (God’s OR self/Satan) and upon which side he will stand (life/death). Deu 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: Jos 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. And I am sitting here thinking - what should I be doing now. Knowing that this was coming, knowing where this is going, what next in my little world? What next to do with my energy and focus and thoughts. I had prepared. But who can adequately prepare in the physical as this is essentially a move with underlying implications in the spiritual, what next for me. And I want to suggest that the resistance I feel - and perhaps other INFJ idealists feel within themselves - is a reluctance to begin when it is destined to fail - IF - capital I capital F - IF whatever action taken is not in concert with the overall plan. And in this case - since we are indeed in a war and if you perceive yourself to be a believer in the God of the Bible - any action taken or work begun would have to be in concert with His plan. If at this stage of our individual lives we are free enough within ourselves, we would have stepped away from the insatiable burden to succeed for self only, to make a name for ourselves. If we are there, then we will be able to sense also the purpose of the resistance. It holds us in check for a reason. The resistance is an awareness of the spiritual dimension - an awareness that we are powerless to change the terms of the conflict and that even though we find ourselves actors within it - we must be given direction in order to be effective and contribute something meaningful - our small contribution to advance the cause of either good or evil. We have a reluctance to act - or I do anyway - until i also sense that connection to His purpose for me - unless i have been given the authority to proceed and hence the power to do whatever it is I have been called to do. But however small the part, it must be done in concert with heaven’s plan and purposes. Otherwise it will fall short. The endeavors and activities and even the successes will become merely an advancement of self - of individual proclivities, giftings, and desires - unless what we do is tied into that greater mind we call God. I think INFJs are keenly aware of all this - subconsciously / unconsciously. As we lead with intuition, we are tied in. We are drawing from that great mind. And we are listening and waiting. And the resistance is overcome when we also see the path, our path. Surely other INFJs can feel this too. And surely there are so few of us because we are primarily actors in that other dimension. We are called to help other’s find their highest good; but we must also first find the path ourselves. So we will overcome that resistance when we are connected to Him. And when we are willing to share that sense of well being with others. Am I alone in this? I trust not.

[@CricketRodeo]

@Carol - I really appreciate your wisdom and time to type all of that out. I'm getting a ton of valuable and useful insight from all this depth psychology info, but I also keep getting these checks/reminders to make sure I don't put all of my focus and dependence on human insight alone. What you said speaks to spiritual wisdom over carnal human wisdom, and looks like you've chosen to 'build your house upon the Rock' instead of the sand. Many will deny that an external spiritual realm even exists (and chalk up spiritual experiences to metaphysics, quantum mechanics, etc, even though these are still just carnal physics), so this reliance on God would appear foolish to them. Also, what you said reminds me of this song that I think you might like on KZbin: "The Resistance - Josh Garrels". Take care! :)

[@JohannaRoberson]

Wow

[@deannabreedlove8123]

Please keep putting these out. You are doing a great job helping to describe what goes on in our heads our how we rationalize alot of our behaviors at least in my case. Very relatable

[@isobeltotten4402]

i had noticed your first videos were films about other people, and that you don't have as much content as a lot of creators. i'm somewhat the same in that i've shied away from directly telling people my opinions and ideas, especially online, and i prefer to give people art they can appreciate even if they don't "get" the philosophy behind it. i generally have avoided even commenting on things, or i delete my comments 20 minutes after posting them when i think of an inconsistency in my logic or how it could have been taken wrong. criticism can be so painful so it's easier to avoid sharing your thoughts publicly, but i appreciate that you do it anyways.

[@ClayArnall]

Accurate observation. I used to think I wasn’t very interesting so I would tell other people’s stories. I’m trying to change things now to include myself in them more.

[@KSpeaks1024]

Such a great video. I've undervalued my writing and ability to influence others. I'm always encouraging others that they could do the things I'm complimented on. I've written a whole book and put it away. I started writing another one because I unconsciously thought it wasn't good enough. I made excuses that seemed valid but it was completely BS. I'm writing my second book and I will complete it in April and I will publish it as soon as I am done.

[@aj37ful]

Steven Pressfield finished his final draft...and threw it in the bin. His book "The war of art" will help you greatly.

[@KSpeaks1024]

@@aj37ful thanks so much. I will check it out

[@FailFries]

It's so hard for me to see what skills I have because I have sooooooo many interests but I don't feel like I've become skilled at any of them. I have ADHD so I become hyper focused on one thing but get bored after a few days or weeks. That or perfectionism sets in. The result is that I jump to another interest. That means that I never become really skilled at any one thing .... I will often come back to each interest eventually.... sometimes YEARS later. But it's hard to feel really good at anything when I can't stick to anything very long. 40 years of this!(Not to mention adding several children to focus on now. ) Maybe by 80 I'll have put in enough hours to have some actual skills! Lol

[@tvm2209]

Exactly what you describe for me too!

[@Elena-tb6sr]

This thing, of not feeling locked in a situation you don't want for yourself is our blessing and our curse. Protects us from pain and, at the same time, can rob us of opportunities. Finding balance between putting yourself out there while keeping your freedom is key.

[@SuperHumpbackwhale]

Thank you. For the past couple of months I've been experiencing a total lack of encouragement from anybody to pursue my painting career and caught myself beginning to doubt the purpose of this struggle - it's so easy to forget how blessed we are with our abilities. This material was just what I needed.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Great work Clay - I think we INFJ’s can find our freedom by realising that we are complex, we can be serious, playful and helpful - however, if you separate your many personalities, then just be one at a time, it minimises the emotional conflicts within us.

[@Heatherrenee424]

I LOVE this. I’m in my mid 30s and just now finding out what I’m good at and what i feel passionate and connected to. I think you hit the nail on the head with us not really knowing how to turn that into our careers. Our work really is something we identify as part of who we are.

[@jesslove83]

This was the first video I’ve seen of yours and I didn’t want you to stop talking. You’re very comforting. I’m just asking myself now, “What is it?! What is the thing that I’m good at, that’s easy and natural to me?” Argh!

[@Villymanillyvoop]

This is all so accurate/relatable. The 'perfect or nothing' paralysis, the playing down/not valuing your gifts (a bit like if it's easy, it's not valuable because we've been taught to grind too much to get anywhere), the needing freedom. Personally, freelancing has given me some of that freedom. Still working on the 'good enough to get going' thing with just putting writing out there without it having to be perfect. It's still scary and difficult to resist the urge to go back and delete it because it's not perfect.

[@julia.no.X]

I did two tests and was typed as infj in the first and infp in the second. Regardless of my type - your video speaks to me - great advice! Thanks for posting.

[@MermaidJassica]

Thank you so much for this, you’ve given a young and very confused INFJ a lot of hope about the future! And a much better sense of value

[@LoganBirdVibez]

My situation as an INFJ was super confusing at first, because I have earned many titles of popularity. I was a chameleon just trying to be understood. In middle school, I tested and got ENTP. I now realize that I was only forced into the Ni-Ti loop at an early age, so I was naturally relying on analyzing since my emotions were too sensitive. I graduated this year of 2020, and during COVID, I have had the time to find so much about myself and became elated at the fact that I could be working on my college jazz audition. This is when my true colors started to show, door slamming large groups of friends, and starting various art projects that reflect peace and truth. I did not believe I was an INFJ at first, until I found myself in tears after watching these videos and reading articles.

[@sandraartistabellestri]

Bing watching your videos has made me feel so much better. I'm on the back side of 60 working retail as a florist in a grocery store. I'm constantly asked, "What are you doing here?" My profile picture is one of my oil paintings. Thanks for all your advice.

[@debracottrill7989]

I love it Sandra! I also love originals of calls lilies. I can't find anyone that can do a digital for a web site or KZbin channel.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

Jane-of-all-trades here! Freedom is sooo important and so is being useful and productive. If I can’t ride Ni into the sunset and I feel trapped, I can sink into depression. 😆 Your videos are going to help many people. ❤️ A person came into my life and saw my value AND my skills, offered me a job, and now we work together but mostly we have so much fun together in life! When work is light I am able work on where my passions are, landscape photography and dance. How I’ve began to figure out how to help people (besides the job I do to help people in my profession) I start with fostering healthy relationships with my family members and friends... being a better person.

[@monicasojka2738]

I am a therapist with my own Solo Psychotherapy Practice and an infj. I was tested 25 years ago. It is great to be self employed and also challenging. I have zero income when I don't see people. I want to start a 2nd business doing coaching online 🤔. Thanks for sharing this!!

[@AnnMarieKing]

You work in the world lies at the intersection what gives your life meaning, what gives you limitless pleasure and what your most persistent strengths. For an INFJ these three things can seem disparate but this is where to start.