How to Fix Problems That Aren’t Your Fault

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A wife struggling with the consequences of sleeping next to her noisy husband
- A mother who has given her agoraphobic husband an ultimatum
- A former pilot unsure how to move forward after giving up his career
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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[@deniseharvey8924]

My best friend’s mom had agoraphobia. She was so bad I didn’t think she would ever get better but years later she got help and went back to going out and driving and living a normal life!

[@joeysikula94]

Surprised John didn’t give them a free mattress

[@pumpkin6464]

😂

[@Cosmicvzn]

I dont know if you read these but as someone whos never been “religious” or have had faith in something with core values, youve really helped restore my own personal faith and values. Thank you.

[@kellibuzzard9431]

Such neat news. ❤

[@deekayvixen]

My husband is a loud sleeper, he likes to fall asleep to the TV and snores. I am a light sleeper and need complete silence and complete darkness. We sleep in different bedrooms and rarely ever do we share a bed, unless I am fully prepared to not be well rested the next day. When we go on vacation, we always book accommodations with an extra bedroom and I always end up using the extra room.

[@caydence808]

Ur not wrong about the diet change! That would correct at least 80% of the issue. I started developing sleep apnea and i went on strict veggies for a month and it cleared right up.. lol

[@pimaggot]

I did keto and lost 100 pounds and apnea cleared up

[@joninature]

i would rule out POTS for the pilot, do the tilt table test to see if you heart rate goes up. I don't think you are having panic attacks.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Why would it be affecting him only while flying/driving, therefore only while seated?

[@brightpage1020]

So grateful for this conversation about Agoraphobia. Some things I wouldn't have connected with Agoraphobia and so grateful for the education. This poor woman who has chosen her husband's comfort from mental suffering over even her own and her children's development. I pray for her and them that they learn how to be ok and healthy whether he chooses to get on the healthy train with them or not and that those acts alone might inspire him to shake this mantle of control issues off. The world is truly a dangerous place, but God gave us 5 senses plus an immune system to defend ourselves as well as each other. Trust those. Trust that. Don't use a mislead sense of vulnerability to imprison those you love. Their love will feel more abundant to you if they chose to stay with you than if they feel trapped or forced to. It won't feel authentic and then that guy will get more and more controlling as they get more and more resentful or as those children stop meeting appropriate milestones of human development, because they will. And instead of realizing it'from damage inflicted by him, he'll use it to blame the world more for their problems. Stop this train. Please. Now. For those kids. Thank you.

[@jacosisaba]

If what you say is true then God also created all these viruses that kill millions of innocent adults and children. Religon has caused thousands to give money to prosperity preachers and just pray instead of getting the medical attention they need. If God is real and he is all powerful he is the most evil, vile monster that's ever existed. It's not fathomable to be in a world with something that evil.

[@Sharksnak7]

That ad spot after the first call… Chef’s kiss.

[@rfpnc]

Justin, you can't be an effective counselor if you don't walk through your own healing first! Walk that difficult road, find a good EMDR therapist, and face your own fears. Then whatever decisions you make about your future will come from a place of peace and clarity. It's worth it. YOU are worth it❤

[@maryjankowski9032]

Yes ENDR helped me with PTSD from a narcissistic mean dad that beat my mom and his kids and a narcissist husband..

[@John-du2mq]

The pilot caller doesn't understand, it wasn't anxiety of flying, it is you. No matter what you decide to do, when you get there and need to perform in your job, you'll have this happen. You are wasting your time and money going back to school because you still go with you. You need to be honest with your councilor and tell them everything and I have a feeling you aren't. Something happened to you and you buried it deep and you still don't want to come out with it. Your body is literally screaming at you for it and it's time to let it out.

[@iw9338]

I totally agree 😮😢😅

[@ellencox8415]

Ok, I'm a floppy fish when sleeping and my husband is a snorer. We tried the CPAP thing and he got less sleep because he just couldn't deal with the mask over his face. We have our couple time and then I sleep in the other room. Our relationship has never been better because we both get a full restful night of sleep. Do what is best for your relationship and don't worry about what is "normal"

[@jillkennedy6993]

A HUGE hug for the women with the husband with agoraphobia. My husband has severe ptsd ( along with other mental health disorders) and it is so beyond hard being their supporter but finding where to draw the line to be good for my kids and myself when things are bad.

[@minihorses]

It would be cheaper to have an overnight oximetry instead of a sleep study, you can do it at home and it measures oxygen all night with just a probe on the finger. If oxygen results are good with no desaturations he won't need a sleep study.

[@rabrubaker296]

The agoraphobia one helped me. I hope you cut it out separate.

[@iw9338]

Exactly right, remove sugar and grains and sleep is so much better 😅

[@sandramadden6966]

I've worn earplugs at night (I like the Loop ones made of silicone) for the last year due to being a light sleeper and my husband's snoring/breathing...but more of the elderly dog licking himself during the night. We also both went super low-carb a few months ago and within 3 weeks of cutting out those carbs, my husband stopped snoring (unless he's sick). He's now lost 40 lbs too. It's a win-win. :)

[@karalove3470]

So relatable about married couples not sleeping well!!! Thank you for the call. My husband of 20 years has leg twitches that shake the bed a couple times a week... And if either of us have allergy issues that week there's a couple more nights of unrest.

[@lisahinkofer2085]

I am having this issue right now. My husband now has his own room because his snoring is horrible. Plus he stops breathing and wakes up choking. He moves around in his sleep. Body jerking and waking in a coughing fit.. he’s only sleeping six hours a night. Yes he’s over weight by sixty pounds. He has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and high cholesterol and high blood pressure. His diet is horrible. Now finely he’s scared because of this recent diagnosis. He’s finally doing a sleep study. So we shall see if he sticks with his changed diet because of diabetes and if he goes the distance with the sleep study. All I can do is support him in his journey and keep my fingers crossed that he does what’s best for him. I can’t control him. I stopped arguing with him. It’s all in his boat. It’s up to him

[@ilovetosingx3]

It wasn’t my fault🤦‍♀️ - IT WAS MY ENEMIES FAULT !! 😂❤🎉💯✅

[@galejohnson8086]

OCD since age 10. I am afraid of the fear.

[@kaybriannejohnson8134]

Finally listened to smoke fire and freedom

[@grungegirl1994]

I just want to comment incase the woman with the agoraphobic husband is watching this. Please do not give up hope! I struggled severely with agoraphobia that turned into monophobia also for 3 years. It was so challenging on our marriage, but I thank God my husband did not give up on me. I ended up in therapy and also seeing a naturopath who tested my vitamins and minerals. I have a formal diagnosis of ocd which I believe was the root for me. He can heal, he just has to take that first step to get help. Please look into Drews podcast the anxious truth, he was also agoraphobic and recovered. Sending much love and prayers to you and anyone else who struggles with this! 💓

[@peachkeen64246]

I can actually help! My husband started two products: Intake Breathing (nostril dilator strip) and Hostage Tape (mouth tape for mouth breathers). He wears them at night and it is much much better

[@Maxify08]

My 40 yr served CV/ICU nurse wife & I had that problem. A sleep study proved that I had sleep apnea. Which brought on my snoring. CPAP administered & problem solved to a degree. Now that I'd stopped snoring, I noticed that SHE had a snoring problem but without the apnea. A second CPAP was ordered & all is happy again. Sauce for the goose & the gander. You can't tell me that I have a problem. Then, after I address said difficulty in your world not address the same issue in mine.....LOL She had no case to argue at that juncture. "Now about that white noise machine of yours?!"

[@ingridhalls1538]

could be sleep apnea , so the sleep clinic is a good idea. My husband has sleep apnea, and it was so severe it was scary!! Sleeps with a Cpap machine and never snores anymore.

[@j022082p]

John has suffered from literally every single ailment that exists but only to a trivial extent found treatment and quickly recovered.

[@elizabethbrown5289]

Sleep apnea can be fatal and puts an incredible stress on the rest of your body.

[@nedawilmhoff3599]

Her husband needs to have a sleep study done. My husband had the oral surgery done in his thirties and it helped fora few years but then his snoring got really bad again and the sleep study showed sleep apnea and the sound was equal to a jumbo jet. Living with sleep apnea without treatment leads to major heart problems. Cpap has made us both feel much better.

[@K1tTyKaT1313]

I moved to the couch while pregnant because we need a new bed and my back is killing me in the bed. It’s been awful. We need a new bed asap but I’m forcing myself to stay in bed now cuz I miss him too much!

[@jadek5822]

Dr. Barbara O’Neil said we should eat last meal of broth at 4 p.m….eat bigger meals before that time. The reason is our that our bodies can’t sleep or sleep well while digesting food.

[@texuztweety]

Magnesium Malate, Magnesium Taurate and Magnesium Glycinate greatly help Anxiety, Agoraphobia, even Schizophrenia

[@texuztweety]

These forms of Magnesium work best because they cross the blood brain barrier and are essentially for a calm nervous system

[@Daniellapalo]

Jesus works the best 👍🏻, but yes those help too

[@tomnohmy1273]

Im trying to create problems that are entirely my fault

[@pamkramerkohut3616]

You seem like a sincere caring man. Would you be open to an observation? If you listen to your sessions you will hear you speak much more than your guests and because of that you have not heard vital information. I hope you have a long successful career. Just a heads up I am sure your sweet wife would agree with😊

[@janemuir3546]

Kimberly, I know your reality. 💤 💤 💤

[@debsmith7460]

A lot of couples sleep in separate beds or rooms and still have great marriages. Treating sleep apnea is critical for hos health. Trying diet changes is a good idea. But you might still sleep better in a different room.

[@adearabby6154]

The difference between shopping at Walmart and everwhere else? Quality. Class..get some.

[@pejisan]

beer, pizza, candy, queso😮 the 4 food groups

[@pejisan]

the snorer's wife - your hubby is killing you! himself too!

[@amandakan4279]

I sleep with mouth tape. That keeps the mouth closed.

[@sunshinerose9747]

I have cut back on soda and some other foods and I've lost 10lbs in approximately a month give or take

[@Mszahnclass95]

I have to sleep in my own room an bed . My mind is like a race car going around the track an i only sleep 💤💤 in shifts.i have tried everything almost under the sun ☀️ over the years an nothing works i tried also meditation an nothing

[@wittyvixen2]

Is his new book an audio book too?

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Yes, read in Delony’s voice!

[@joyparker3116]

Sounds Sick!

[@laurao8099]

Okay it wasn't really nice of John to just totally disregard the fact that maybe her husband does not know he could cut those things out. They said they talked about a sleep study the husband hasn't done it yet but we do not know the exact reason why he hasn't done it yet.

[@bestbudsourchannel4807]

Sleep apnea!

[@brendondowdy5651]

He's clearly crazy but if she leaves don't expect him to pay her bills

[@Brittany138]

Deftonesssssss 🙌🏻

[@emilyandersen8963]

So he hasn't left the house in 3 years. I believe she said they have a 2 year old. Did he miss the birth of his own child?

[@brendondowdy5651]

Why not find out why she is over sensitive to sound? Just use ear plugs. It's not always the man's fault lol

[@joyparker3116]

You married him-try to be amate!!